Sjl metal predictions, april 3!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

I'm unbooked, which leaves me three days to frolic the boards!  I start... now!

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Frost to score another win... then again, Turner has a chance too.  But my pick stands as Frost picks up the victory.

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Kojack proves why he deserves that title with what is hopefully a convincing victory over T-Bone.

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Deathwish picks up a very good win, but he'll probably have to alter his style a bit to do so.

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- Mafia, the man I mark out for most in the JL, picks up the W over the pipe-wielding, former Allianite with some mad 'tude, yo.

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- Oh ho ho, what have we here.  Too close, but I'll pick Flesher to keep his momentum going.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- X Force 9 are the team this betting man is betting on.  w00!

 

Cheers!

- Mike Van Siclen

[Guest]

Yeah, what MVS said...

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Frost

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Kojack

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Deathwish

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- Jacob Helmsley

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- "The Superior One" Tom Flesher

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- X Force 9

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Here, I have gots flunked down some predictions for y'all!

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Frost has proved more than Randy, so I have to pick him. For now, anyway.

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Kojack. He's getting good, while T-Bone seems to be on a bit of a slump.

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Deathwish. Reaper, if you need any help with improving your writing, please, PLEASE just ask me. It's a shame that you haven't moved up yet.

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- My main man Mafia will score the big V. For victory. Booyah!

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Ordonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- Tom Flesher, unless Ced writes his hardest.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- Erek and Ash have great chemistry together as writers, so I'll have to say that they definitely have the advantage. And don't forget to tell me what you have planned, Stryke.

 

--Tha Flunkmasta Flex-ex-ex

 

BANG!!!

[Guest midnight_burn]

When the new card comes around, i'll always be in town. 124% accurate predictions of TOTAL DEVASTATION!!

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Z has a little bit of experience on 'Snowman' Frost and 'Billionare Ted' Turner, so Z for the win.

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Kojack with his first piece of SJL gold, and i'll think he'll keep it for a little while longer at least, fighting off the challenge of T-Bone.

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Does Danny have a Deathwish going up against the towering monster that is The Dark Reaper. We'll see, but i think the Reaper will come out on top in this match.

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- Two very good writers, both around the main event level, and together they should put on a super match. Either man could win this, but i think Mafia will just pip Jacob to the win.

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- The Superior one has been proving himself superior with several strong wins, and now has the European Title in his hands. Ced been going gangbusters too, and with Brody as ref you have three excellent writers all in the one match. Should be very very close, but i think Flesher will keep his title with a victory here.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- Well, i'll certainly give it my all to win this, but it'll be difficult with the quality of opposition i'm up against.

[Guest Shawn]

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Phr0st!!111!!

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Hmmm... T-Bone

 

::Shawn watches his TV title go to he||::

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Deathwish

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- Hmmm... Jake ekes it out

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- Haha... read on!

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- Hmm... XF9 ekes it

[Guest realitycheck]

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

> No-one has picked me, and I am most dissapointed. I'll show all the nawsayers by taking the BEST damn beating they've ever seen!!

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

> Are you nuts? KOJACK

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

> Mat wrestling clinics versus a guy who sends people to a clinic? Should be fun.

 

WILLIAMS

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

> Pipe vs. Uzi. Uh... best two out of three?

 

MAFIA

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

> Can Ced overcome this two-on-one!? Or will this Axis of EVIL destroy our intrepid hero!? Most imporandly, will this be the match where I take a break to get a sandwich!? Or a drink!? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!!

 

ORDONEZ

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

> ::flips loonie::

 

Shawn Brody: WAUGH!! *thud*

 

Huh. Landed on it's side.

 

STRYKE/FLEXX

 

And that's a wrap!

 

-Z

[Guest]

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- This is my own match, and I still think that Frost is going to win.

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- Kojack over that steak dude.

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- The Reaper.  Don't fear him.  Whoo!

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- MMMAFIAAA!

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh-flesher.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

- I'll go with that swank XF9 team.

 

W00t w00t.

[Guest Shawn]

::Shawn grabs Z and jams him head-first into a standing head-scissors... He hooks Z' arms and lifts him up vertical... and hits the Descent!!!::

 

Meh... I needed to do that.

[Guest realitycheck]

::Z no-sells, and superkicks Brody through a plate glass window::

 

Oh Yeah! |>h33r my CANADIAN COINAGE~! |;17ch!!!!111!!!1@#$#!

 

 

And if you him me again, Brody, I WILL do the most unspakably dispicable thing to you...

 

Yes... I will make the return of KIRBY DANCE! GWA'FWAHAHAHAHA!!

 

-Z

[Guest Shawn]

::Shawn steps down::

 

Please, don't hurt me.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

*phantom stunners everybody in sight, but nobody sells* Figures...

 

Ced's Crimson Accuracy: 1 for 4...Ash saves me from getting a goose egg! Time to redeem myself.

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

I'll go with the Z-Man, but if he wins by making somebody tap to the Nelbina, I'll shoot Mr. Fuzzums...seriously... WINNER: Z

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

Kojack's beaten me...WINNER: Kojack

 

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

Charles Bronson! WINNER: Danny Williams

 

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

Mafia's come back from nearly being booked in a Bra & Panties match to two straight victories. WINNER: Mafia

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Ordonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

*looks left, looks right, looks left again* My name is Ced Ordonez and I don't deserve this. *Suicide King reviews Crimson's TV Title match with him* Oh right...that...No prediction.

 

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

What does XF9 meaaaaan?!? Meh...I'll go with them anyway. WINNER: XF9

[Guest Ace309]

Hardcore Submission Match:

Z. I'm not sure how, but the bugger always manages to pull it off.

 

TV Title Match:

Kojack, though I'm not sure why.

 

Williams vs. Reaper:

Williams all the way. He's overdue for a slow, psychologically sound, mat-based win.

 

Mafia vs. Helmsley:

I'll have to go with Helmsley here, though that's just the gut.

 

European Title Match:

No prediction.

 

XF9 vs. Stryke/Flexxx:

Not sure... no prediction.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Ash's HYPER BECAUSE OF ALL THE EASTER CANDY!!!! predictions!

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

- Phr0st brings da h33t!!111!!

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

- ... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TV TITLE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! T-Bone wins so he gets bumped up and we can feud and I can release the promo I've saved for six months...

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

- Don't ph33r the r3ap3r... he picks up the win and gives out ice cream!

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

- Helmsley should win

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

- Go Ced, Go!!!!

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

-Too close to call...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Kirby dance?

 

Did someone say Kirby dance?

 

(>00)> <(00)>  <(00<)

 

WOOOOOO!

[Guest CED Ordonez]

*looks at Edwin funny before starting a one-man mosh pit*

\m/ (>_<) \m/

*somehow chokeslams himself through stacked tables to end the misery*

[Guest]

You do NOT know how to do the Kirby Dance, Edwin!

 

 

(>'.' )> (>'.'<) <( '.'<)

Do the Kirby Dance!!

 

 

::Cutthroat gets up and busts move and starts break dancing!::

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

*clears throat and cracks knuckles*

 

(>'.' )> (>'.'<) <( '.'<) (>'.' )> (>'.'<) <( '.'<)

 

(^'.')> (>'.'<) (^'.')> (^'.')> (>'.'<) (^'.')> = Disco Kirby!  

 

(v'.'v) (^'.'^) (^'.'^) (v'.'v) (^'.'^) (^'.'^) = Raise Da Roof Little Fellah!

 

(>'.')> (>'.'<) (>'.')> (^'.'^) (>'.')> (v'.'v) = Kirby Does The Robot!

 

<('.'<) <('.'<) <('.'<) <('.'<) <('.'<) <('.'<) = Moonwalker Kirby!!

   -  /      /  -     -  /       /  -    -  /       /  -  

 

 

(Hope the last one works!)

[Guest Renegade]

riiiiiiiiiight........anyway.......back to the predictions

 

Hardcore Submission Match

Frost v Z v Randy Turner

 

ZZZZZZZEEEEEE!

 

TV Title Match

Kojack © v T-Bone

 

The Kojer himself

 

Singles Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

 

Deathwish

 

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

 

A win for Mafia could be big here, and he seems to be one of the only people thats hasnt had a title shot in a while...but i still think Jake takes this one

 

European Title Match

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v Ced Orodonez

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody

 

Wow! these two have been pushed big time (well deserved i might add), il say the title switches once again and goes to Ced.

 

Tag Match

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx

 

XF9...the stable that will never ever leave, no matter how many members get bumped or retiered.

[Guest Shawn]

Ash un-check the box at the end of the post saying "Do you wish to enable emoticons for this post?"

[Guest hhh6294]

Ugh... Kirby Dance...

 

You people need to get a fucking life

 

 

 

Vote for the Pipe or be prepared to be laid out in a promo sooner or later.  

 

*~*Glares at all those Mafia Votes*~*

 

[Guest Renegade]

*Gade voted for Jake*

[Guest WarMachine]

Singles Match

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley

 

A win for Mafia could be big here, and he seems to be one of the only people thats hasnt had a title shot in a while...but i still think Jake takes this one.

 

Last time I had a title shot, of any sort.

 

...Janurary, in the same match where Annie won the JL Title (6-Wrestler Elimination). Actually though, I've only had two title shots total, the other one being for the TV Title. Technically, I still had another one owed to me for the TV Title, as I took a hiatus about a week after I won it, and I never reminded the CC about it, nor cashed it in since. If there were any actual rules though, one would assume that my chance expired a while ago, even as early as when I left. And I'm now just remembering this anyway, since it was such a forgettable match-up against that TJ Greyman dude, who's long gone.

 

Vote for the Pipe or be prepared to be laid out in a promo sooner or later.  

 

*~*Glares at all those Mafia Votes*~*

 

I counted the predictions. It's actually pretty even, 6-5. Surprised me though, as I figured everyone would go for the elder vet to win.

[Guest]

Well, I guess 4-leaf clovers rule all...

 

SJL Metal Card, Wednesday April 3rd

The Suicide King Learns to Forge Documents!!

Due: 6pm Wednesday BT

Arena: The Ervin J. Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio!

I thought it was the Nutter Butter Center, funny...

 

That despicable Suicide King... it seems that he snuck into Edwin's office after he booked all the matches for the show!  With a touch of White-Out here and some illegible scribblings there, this Metal suddenly became a lot better for the heels of the fed...

See, this is why Suicide rules the F'n world.

 

Edwin will be posting the show, so send all stuff MacPhisto-wards!

Just call him Mac Daddy MacPhisto

 

 

Hardcore Submission Match - Send to Suicide King

Frost v Z v Randy Turner!!!!

-King liked what he saw in Frost's debut, and he's decided to let the Icelander take out the Goofiest Loser in the fed.  Throw in the latest n00b looking for recognition and this should make this match loads of fun!  No DQ, no countouts, falls count anywhere... but you can only win by making your opponent tap or pass out from the pain!!!  First submission wins, this is not, repeat, NOT elimination style.

- Word Limit: 4000

Since Frost kicked MY ass, I would have to give him the win over todos. WINNER: FROST!

 

TV Title Match - Send to HVilleThugg

Kojack(champ) v T-Bone!!

-Kojack stunned the world by beating Shawn Brody for the TV title.  Granted it was through some shady officiating by Ced Ordonez, but even so... King has decided Kojack gets to earn his stripes tonight against the Jobber to the Stars, T-Bone!

- Word Limit: 4500

BWAHAHAHAHA! SUICIDE, you RULE IT MAN! I think I can pull this one out...WINNER: AND NEW TV CHAMP...The Steak Sauce Covered Bastard...T-BONE!

 

Singles Match - Send to Edwin MacPhisto

"Deathwish" Danny Williams v The Reaper

-Williams is determined to prove to JLCC that he is the most accomplished mat wrestler to ever grace our halls!  Well, King has no problem with that.  Let's throw the Reaper at him and see how he mat wrestles the giant!!

- Word Limit: 4500

 

If Benoit can turn the Chokeslam into the Crippler Crossface, the Deathvish is yoiur hero. WINNER: "Deathwish" Danny Williams

 

Singles Match - Send to HVilleThugg

Mafia vs. Jacob Helmsley!!

- Heh heh heh... carnage should abound.

- Word Limit: 4500

OOH...Toughie. I pick...Hurricane Helmsley. BWAHAHA! WINNER: Jacob Helmsley.

 

European Title Match - Send to Suicide King

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher(champ) v Ced Orodonez!

Special Guest Referee - "The Fallen Angel" Shawn Brody!!!!!

-If there's anything that King can't stand, it's crooked officiating.  So he's decided to teach Ced a lesson in fair play by showing him what it's like to be cost a title because of a referee in the form of his most hated enemy and Flesher's pal Brody!  Ced is in for a world of pain tonight... but what about former champ MVS?  He's noticeably not scheduled... will he take this chance to get some revenge on Flesher?  Brody may write a match if he wishes.

- Word Limit: 5000

Oh man, is Ced dead. WINNER: El Superior

 

Tag Match - Send to Edwin MacPhisto

XF9 (Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum) v Stryke and Flexxx!!

-So Stryke doesn't like Taylor, and Flexxx doesn't like much of anyone now, eh?  Well, fine. This match should make everyone, even Edwin, happy.  So what's the catch?  Simple.  If Stryke and Flexxx win, they get to fight for the #1 contendership to the World Title on Crimson!!  And if Ash and Erek win... well, I suppose a case could be made for Ash being the  #1 contender, but damned if you'll get that out of the Suicide King!  Talk to Edwin, whiner!

- Word Limit: 5500

FO SHEEZY IT'S MY NEEZYS X-FEEZY TO THE NEEZY WINNER:XF9

 

These predictions have been brought to you in part by former Cardinal great Mark McGwire and, of course, A-1 Steak Sauce. Don't leave home without it!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

T-Bone, my brother, Mr. M-V-S-is-just-another-marinade...

 

Don't copy-paste the card directly.  At the very least take out the description.  It's totally unnecessary clutter.  Aiight?  Coo'... you won't listen, but that's okay w/me, because I'll beat you and Cutthroat in a Throw-Yo-Ass-Off-A-Bridge match!

 

- Mike Van Siclen, the Hyper One

[Guest]

*Grabs MVS by the throat and slams him down inbetween his legs with the Miracle Ecstasy Bomb.*

 

Applesauce, bitch!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

*nosells, because he can and it's a +1 to his trainee post count*

 

Uh, that is so what I said.

 

- Mike Van Siclen

[Guest]

::Cutthroat smashes T-Bone over the head with a steel chair, and T-Bone's head breaks thru the chair::

[Guest redbaron51]

Now guys don't get into hissy fits here. I mean this is just all predictions

[Guest]

::Cutthroat does the same to Xero::

[Guest]

*Kicks Cutthroat in the stomach, lifts him up for a vertical suplex, and turns it into the T-Bone Crusher, putting Cutthroat through a table.*

 

Applesauce, bitch!