Guest AWCUK Report post Posted August 4, 2003 Wrestlemania 2 Live from Uniondale, New York Chicago, Illinois. Los Angeles, California. Introduction One year after the tradition commenced, 3 cities-Los Angeles, Chicago and Uniondale- hosted Wrestlemania 2. Legendary Hall of Famer Andre The Giant competed with NFL stars like William ‘Refrigerator’ Perry, Ed ‘Too Tall’ Jones and Bill Fralic in a 20-man invitational battle royal! Mr T faced Rowdy Roddy Piper in a boxing match and the British Bulldogs squared off against The Dream Team of Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine for the Tag Team Championship. Plus, Hulk Hogan and King Kong Bundy shook Los Angeles inside a steel cage. Quick recap for those not in the know; 1985 = 2003 Ricky Steamboat = Kurt Angle Hulk Hogan = Mr. America King Kong Bundy = The Big Show Roddy Piper = Chris Jericho We start with an introduction spoofing the Star Wars opening (which was obviously topical in 1986) documenting the history of wrestling, then showing clips of the WWE superstars in action, showing that at least they have improved their production values from the year before. Gene Okerlund welcomes us to the videotape, insisting to those who rented it to buy the video by telling people what will be on the card. I don’t get the point of this as it does not apply to you bought the video and the people who rent the video will see the matches anyway, so why recap them. Stage One Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Susan Saint James. Magnificent Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji) (WM Best: NC) v. Paul Orndorff (WM Best: 7/10). We start with a tie-up between the two, as we hear words from the competitors, apparently Muraco wants to make Orndorff the embarrassment of WM 2, as well as WM 1. Whilst, Orndorff is going to beat Muraco as he’s been to the gym. Orndorff takes control with a side headlock, but Muraco pushes him into the ropes and slams him to the mat, but Orndorff kicks Muraco when he comes over and hits a slam of his own. Muraco crawls to the corner, giving Orndorff the chance to make a racist gesture towards Fuji, well that didn’t age well as if that happened today he would be sacked on the spot. They tie-up again and Muraco pushes Orndorff into the corner, giving him a knee to the gut and an elbow to the chest. An Irish whip is reversed by Orndorff, he gives Muraco a back body drop, followed by an armdrag and a drop toe hold, allowing him to lock on a grounded armbar. Muraco climbs to his feet and slingshots off the ropes, to counter Orndorff’s armbar into his armdrag, but Orndorff held on, regaining the advantage. He changes his attack to an arm stretch, and then puts pressure on the shoulder by placing the knee on it. Muraco slowly gets on his feet, with the hold still applied and with the aid of Orndorff’s hair whips Orndorff into the rope, but Orndorff holds on, flipping Muraco over on his injured arm and re-applies the elbow to the shoulder. Muraco crawls to his feet again, and counters the hold with a Samoan drop, with the advantage, he nails Orndorff with right hands and rams his head into the turnbuckle pad, Orndorff fights back with elbows and punches, it degenerates into a fist fight. Muraco charges at Orndorff, throwing both men over the rope, but Orndorff gets ‘Tested’ (got his foot caught in the rope by accident). So, Muraco fires away, while the referee unties Orndorff. They brawl with punches outside and as the bell rings, Orndorff counters a running headlock by ramming Muraco into the steel post. Then, Orndorff threatens Muraco with a chair at ringside, until the referee regained order and announces the double count-out. Time: 4:35 Heat: 8/10 Storyline: 4/10 Wrestling: 6/10 Average: 6/10 Intercontinental title: Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) (WM Best: NC) v. George Steele (WM Best: NC). Randy was the champion at this point, and would be for another year until WM 3, anyway the storyline is that Steele fancied Miss Elizabeth, Savage’s demure manager/girlfriend who stuck with Savage, even though he treat her like nothing. The match starts with Randy going Memphis on him by stalling forever. Every time, they are about to lock-up, Savage is intimidated with Steele’s unusual mannerisms, so he bails to the outside. This happens three times, until when Savage ails, Steele follows him to the outside, chases in the ring and out of the ring, until Steele catches him trying to enter the ring and bites his ankle. Savage retreats into the ring and meets an incoming Steele with a high knee and goes to punch him, but this is countered with an elevated chokehold. Steele releases him and knocks him down with a punch, he goes through the ropes to check on Miss Elizabeth, but Savage takes this opportunity to hang Steele up in the ropes. When this occurs, Savage attacks a trapped Steele with boots to the head and a choke. Steele is finally freed from the ropes, so is meet with kicks to the gut from Savage, Savage then climbs to the ropes and nails a flying bodypress on Steele, but he underestimates the distance so it looks like he only glanced Steele, Savage goes for the pin and gets 2, when Steel elevates Savage out of the ring with the kick out. Savage hurt crawls back into the ring, but Steele hits him with chops to the throat, before throwing him back outside. Savage takes this opportunity to crawl underneath the ring and re-emerge on the other side, allowing him to blindside the confused Steele with a high knee to the back, he then tries for a running forearm, but it is countered with a bite to the arm. Savage writhing in pain tries to grab the hair on Steele, but has no luck since Steele is bald; Steele releases his grip, letting him club Savage. Savage then counters this with an eye rake. Savage exits the ring to retrieve a bouquet of flowers given to Elizabeth and proceeds to hit Steele in the face with them, he tries a second time but Steele stops him and bits him in the forearm again. Steele throws Savage into the corner and hits him with the bouquet of flowers, then rubbing them in Savage’s face and destroys them over Savage’s head. Savage dazed, possibly by an allergic reaction to the flowers is whipped into the corner hard. Steele goes to another corner and bites the stuffing out of the turnbuckle, when Savage comes over to attack Steele, he throws stuffing in Savage’s face, blinding him, giving him the chance of rubbing more stuffing in Savage’s face. Steele then rakes Savage’s eyes with stuffing and Savage retreats to the outside, Steele gives chase, but is distracted when running past Elizabeth, trying to convince her to leave Savage for him, letting Savage deliver a top-rope double axe-handle to the outside on Steele. He rolls Steele back inside and slams him in the middle of the ring, and ascends the top rope to deliver a Savage elbow. 1, 2, Johnny Ace. Savage goes to attack Steele, but Steele has Savage’s nose and Steele throws Savage into the corner Shawn Michaels style, he goes for the kill but the referee stops him for no reason, allowing Savage a double leg takedown and the Flair pin for the victory. Time: 7:10 Heat: 7/10 Storyline: 7/10 Wrestling: 5/10 Average: 6/10 George Welles (WM Best: NC) v. Jake Roberts (WM Best: NC). Welles begins nailing Roberts into the ropes and whips him, and gives him a back body drop, following that up with a pouch and an European uppercut, leaving Jake punch-drunk. Jake goes on the offensive with a punch and a kick, then throwing him outside the ring. Jake slithers outside, but Welles catches him with a right hand and chucks Jake back into the ring. Jake takes advantage of this and attacks Welles with punches and kicks when he re-enters the ring, he tries an Irish whip, but that is reversed. Welles ducks for a back body attempt, but Jakes skips over it and tells everyone that he is very clever, but is met with a shouldertackle. He stomps Jake and picks him up to give him a headbutt. He throws Jake into the corner and whips into the opposing corner, before meeting him with a right hand. Another whip, leads to a flying headscissors by Welles (in 1986), Jake calls for a time-out, but Welles nails him with a bodyslam, then a punch and a knee-lift causing Jake to somersault across the ring, before stomping him in the head. Welles whips him in and nails the powerslam for 2, and then Jake seizes the opportunity and rakes the eyes. Allowing Jake to beg off and eventually bail outside, Welles follows, chasing Jake around the ring before being caught in a knee lift when off-balance re-entering the ring, letting Jake DDT Welles for the victory. After the match, Jake takes his snake and rubs it all over the body of Welles until he begins to foam at the mouth (well that can be misinterpreted). Time: 3:06 Heat: 6/10 Storyline: 5/10 Wrestling: 6/10 Average: 6/10 Susan and Vince recap T/Piper feud, where in Phoenix, Mr. T won a boxing match, but Roddy Piper came in the ring, when he was celebrating to spit in his face and challenge him to a bare-fist boxing match, causing the perfect distraction for Bob Orton to attack Mr. T, resulting in a 2 on 1 beat-down. Roddy Piper is joined with his coach and Bob Orton, giving an interview (giving the quote of the night) about how Mr. T will never beat him and laughing at shaving The Haiti Kid’s hair. Very funny interview and words cannot do justice about how he reminds me of Jericho doing an interview now, with the cocky heel routine. By contrast, Mr. T with Joe Frazier and The Haiti Kid gives a generic promo about how will humiliate Piper. The only notable things are how fast he talks and lack of creativity that he -an actor- has Boxing match: Mr. T (WM Best: 7/10) v. Rowdy Roddy Piper (WM Best: 7/10). This is a 10 round match with each round lasting 3 minutes. All proper boxing rules are in effect for the match. Before the match, Piper (who reminded me of Jericho) gets super cocky and taunts Mr. T all the way through the referee’s instructions, until Mr. T gets in his face and has to be pulled away from Piper. Round 1 Piper and T feel each other out, with Piper throwing the punches and T blocking, after a while of probing, Piper finds an opening and charges T, who falls against the ropes, but gets some good shots at the body, the referee breaks up the two. Piper tries again with jabs, he again finds an opening, pushing T. against the ropes, giving him some shots on T, but T fights back with punches to the body, until the referee separates them. This sequence occurs a few times, as T. lays back and tries to soak up Piper’s offence, but every time they would fall against the ropes, making the referee separate them, however Piper would always get an additional shot in during the break each time, psyching out T. Piper starts to control the match but T comes back and nails him with a sweet punch. Piper is desperately trying to hit T now. Finally, Piper clocks T. with some rights, causing a break and they lock up. Piper hits another right and they tie up once more. They fight into the corner again when the time limit expires. The two are still going at it and have to be separated. Round 2 The referee instantly punishes Piper, since he has some salve on his forehead and he wipes it off, neutralising the advanage. Piper annoyed by this destroys T with a number of stinging headshots, just after T tried to take control with some left hands (he’s a southpaw). T comes back fighting and pushes Piper into the corner, but Piper gives him everything he has, as he gets a few body shots in. T becomes dazed in the pain, as Piper unloads the heavy artillery with some hard punches, with one massive right hook knocking T to the mat, Piper being Piper when T is falling, Piper pushes him down with his foot, humiliating T. Piper insults the referee while T regains his bearings. After what seems years, the referee starts to count the fallen T, but T regains his balance by 8. At this point the crowd is absolutely rabid for Piper, who then starts wailing away and knocks T to his knees again. T is on his feet at 4 as time runs out, while Orton throws water at T. when he is resting in his corner. Round 3 Piper struts around the ring by doing the Ali shuffle (which Jericho would resurrect in 2002). Piper peppers T with some jabs, but T comes back, connecting with hard body shots, swaying Piper. Piper collapsing in the corner, if he was in the centre of the ring he would have fallen over. T goes on the offence with some massive shots and a stinging left that knocks Piper down properly this time. He makes it to his feet at 8. T shows his tenacity and keeps attacking. He nails Piper with an incredible left, sending Piper outside of the ring. Piper is helped back up by Orton and just gets into the ring by the 9. Time is running out, but Piper is just dead but still managing to stand and he survives the end of the round. Round 4 Before the round starts, Piper throws his stool towards T, trying to intimidate him. As the bell rings for the round, they begin to trade blows for a while. Piper gains the advantage and knocks T's mouthpiece out of his mouth, T fights back turning the momentum and sending Piper’s mouthpiece flying so Piper pushes the referee down to the canvas. Piper then bodyslams T to the ground, which I believe are not Queensbury rules and he is disqualified from the match. Time: 10:15 Heat: 9/10 Storyline: 7/10 Wrestling: 1/10 Average: 6/10 Event Summary Segment Average: 6/10 Storyline Progression: 7/10 Commentary: 5/10 Event Average: 6/10 REASONS TO WATCH § A heel Piper in the 1980’s § Savage cowardly heel act (Christian wishes he was Savage) § The start of Jake Roberts in the WWE REASONS NOT TO WATCH § Mediocre matches § All of the wrestling matches consisted of the same things (the floor must have money on it or something) § Susan Saint James showing her wrestling knowledge. Random Fact: I find it amusing that Lance Storm picks the only haircut that emphasizes the fact he’s going bald Stage 2 Your hosts are Mean Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon and Cathy Lee Crosby Women's title: Fabulous Moolah (WM Best: NC) v. Velvet MacIntyre (WM Best: NC). Moolah starts with a blow to the face and a hair-assisted snapmare takedown, another and another to make it a trifecta. MacIntrye is back to her feet, but is sent back down with a chop to the chest, Moolah whips her into the ropes and meets her with a punch or clothesline, another whip into the ropes, and Moolah attempts a back body drop, but Velvet leapfrogs over her and gets her a dropkick. Velvet invents the one legged dropkicked (later to be pioneered by Zac Gowen) by botching a following dropkick; she throws Moolah into the ropes and nails her with a spinning back elbow. Velvet with a scoop slam and goes to the middle rope to attempt a jumping body splash, but is meet with cruel mis-fortune as Moolah moves out of the way, Moolah then just throws herself over Velvet for the pinfall even though Velvet’s foot was clearly on the ropes (which must have been accidental as Gorilla didn’t mention it). The good news is that since Moolah has not aged since 1986, but the bad news is that she looks like 100 years old in this match- and she beat a woman in her 20’s??? Time: 0:59 Heat: 3/10 Storyline: 2/10 Wrestling: 3/10 Average: 3/10 Flag match: Nikolai Volkoff (w/ Freddie Blassie) (WM Best: 7/10) v. Cpl. Kirschner (WM Best: NC). This is a normal match, except that the winner of the match gets to wave his flag and gains possession of the other flag. The crowd chants ‘USA’ before the match even starts, and Volkoff starts the match by nailing Kirschner with a crescent kick to the stomach and a big knee to the abdomen. Nikolai stomps away at the fallen Kirschner and throws to the outside of the ring, where he rams him into the steel ringpost, before biting him in the forehead drawing Kirschner’s blood and throwing Kirschner back into the steel ringpost. Nikolai re-enters the ring, leaving a dazed Kirschner to crawl back to his feet in front of the taunting Blassie. Kirschner enters the ring, where Volkoff regains control with punches to the face, but Kirchner rallies back with punches of his own, putting Volkoff on the ropes. Kirschner has Volkoff in the corner, when he attempts another punch, but on the wind-up he nails the referee in the face, seizing the opportunity Volkoff comes back with some punches, but Kirschner regains control with some of his punches. Sensing trouble for his man, Blassie throws his cane into the ring towards Nikolai but Kirschner intercepts this and has pocession of the cane, before nailing Nikolai in the head with the cane and pinning him for the victory and control of the flags. Kirschner leaves with the American flag flying in the air. Time: 1:35 Heat: 8/10 Storyline: 4/10 Wrestling: 1/10 Average: 4/10 Mean Gene is with Bill Fralic and John Studd, who each give their perspective on the football-wrestling battle royale up coming. Fralic and Studd then disagree on who will win and go chest to chest with each other. You know, if I was a new wrestling fan and didn’t watch NFL (which I don’t), I would think that Fralic was the wrestler and Studd the footballer. 20 man football player/wrestler battle royale. Claire Peller is the guest timekeeper and Dick Butkus (he’s off Hangtime) is the guest referee. Jim Cobert (Chicago Bears), Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin (Dallas Cowboys), Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga (Haku), The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes (Pittsburgh Steelers), B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (Atlanta Falcons), Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis (San Francisco 49ers), Bruno Sammartino, William "Refrigerator" Perry (Chicago Bears) and Andre the Giant. Most of the combatants go away Perry, to try and throw him out of the ring; Gorilla comments that the average weight of the people in the ring is 280 lbs., which with people like Andre and Studd in the ring, means that there must be some light football players. It is mayhem at the start of the match, with all of the entrants brawling with punches, stomps and side headlocks. Cobert saves Perry from elimination, as they are team mates- but that wouldn’t really make a difference in this match. They continue to brawl, while King Tonga and Cobert are fighting near the ropes, them Fralic eliminates them Shawn Michaels style, then gloats to the crowd afterwards, he really should have become a professional wrestler, as he is probably the best heel in the match. Andre throws Francis over the rope but hangs on to the apron to stay in the match, he comes back in and attacks Andre, who swats him off like a fly. On the other side of the ring, Bruno Sammartino throws Ernie Homes over the top rope and onto the floor. Andre and Studd renew their rivalry by fighting in the corner, while Perry is being double-teamed again in the corner. The crowd pops big time, when Andre tries to throw Fralic over the top rope, but Fralic holds on to the rope. Brunzell gets eliminated by a number of people tossing over the top, including his own tag team partner, B.Brian Blair. The Fridge, then throws Atlas out of the ring, after some brawling, Perry then goes over and starts nailing Studd. They continue to brawl, as more triple teaming occurs on Andre. On the other side of the ring, Pedro Morales and Harvey Martin throws each other out, with a body press over the top rope. This is followed by Arcidi is then eliminated by a number of guys when pushed over the top rope, just after Blair avoided removal. The Iron Sheik moving in slow motion, eliminates 3 guys in quick succession, Spivey with a back body drop over the top rope, and battling Hillybilly Jim and Blair by blindsiding them. Fralic is battling with the Sheik, until Studd comes in to help The Sheik from the attack of Fralic, gaining a measure of revenge from the pre-match interview and throwing Fralic over the top rope. In the middle of the ring, The Iron Sheik and Sammartino exchange blows, with The Sheik forcing back Bruno to the ropes, but a missed punch allows Bruno to get under Sheik and hoist him over the ropes and to the floor. Bruno with some momentum attacks Studd forcing him into the corner with right hands and climbs to the middle rope and gives him 10 big punches. Back to the ground, with shoulder charges into the sternum and a double-leg lift to try and eliminate him, Studd rakes the eyes of Sammartino and tosses him out of the match. Studd wails on Andre, while The Hart Foundation double-team Perry, Neidhart with a veal, but Perry nails them both with football tackles, knocking both over the rope, but they both hang on. Studd and Perry square off in the middle of the ring, Perry takes it to him with a football tackle, and he goes for another but is met with an elbow to the face and is hiptossed over the top for the unpopular elimination. Perry outside the ring offers a handshake to Studd, saying that he has gained his respect, but when Studd takes it, Perry pulls him out of the ring, eliminating him from the match. Francis and The Hart Foundation take turns at attacking Andre to no success, until The Hart Foundation rock the big man with a double dropkick, leading Andre to become entwined in the ropes. This leaves Andre vulnerable, but instead The Harts decide to go after Francis, who ducks them with an amateur fake and drops to the mat, but Neidhart catches him, letting Bret nail him with a foot to the midsection. Francis tries to fight back with forearms, but The Harts overwhelm him and send him crashing to the floor. By this time, Andre has freed himself from the ropes, but The Harts go to meet him and push him back into a corner, where Neidhart places a choke and Bret puts the boots to him. The Hart double team Andre with a running shoulder charge from Neidhart, they then try for elimination but that isn’t happening. They again work over Andre in the corner and go for another running shoulder charge, but Bret eats boot, whilst Neidhart suffers from heel shock inertia, allowing Andre to grab him by the goatee and deliver a big right hand. Andre takes advantage of the disorientated heels by giving them a double noggin-knocker; Andre lifts Neidhart to his feet by his beard and whips him into the ropes, before eliminating him with a big boot. Meanwhile, Bret climbs the top rope, what a stupid thing to do in a battle royale, and suffers Flair syndrome as Andre presses him over the top rope to win the match. Time: 9:13 Heat: 9/10 Storyline: 5/10 Wrestling: 3/10 Average: 6/10 WWE tag team title match: The Dream Team (w/ Johnny V) (WM Best: NC) v. The British Bulldogs (w/ Ozzy Osbourne and Lou Albano) (WM Best: NC). We start with a lock-up between Davey Boy and Valentine, leading to Davey overpowing Valentine, sending him to the mat, but Valentine regains his composure and regroups. Valentine suckers Smith in with a feigned tie-up leading to a forearm to the face and an elbow, but Smith fights back with hard right hands pushing Valentine into the corner. Valentine comes back with another lock-up leading to a double–leg takedown, elbowdrop, missed, Valentine back up to his feet but is meet with an arm-wringer, which Smith continually wrings out and twists adding leverage. Valentine counters by pushing Smith against the ropes and whipping him in, Valentine with a hiptoss, a running fistdrop misses, Davey locks him up, so he could tag The Dynamite Kid. Dynamite comes in and nails Valentine on the back of the head and rams him face first into the turnbuckle, causing him to fall face first into the canvas leading to a 2 count. Dynamite with a headlock, which allows Valentine to whip into the ropes, but Billington comes back and nails him with a shoulder charge. Dynamite with boots to the face and a snap suplex, followed by an elbow drop. A tag to Smith, who immediately hooks up Valentine for a suplex, but he counters, another counter, he tries one of his own but its countered and finally Smith gets him up for a hanging vertical suplex, 1,2 kick out. Valentine begs off in the corner and goes to the outside to consult with Johnny V. Valentine slowly gets back in the ring and ties-up with Smith, who he over-powers and works over in the corner with forearms, he whips into the corner, but its reversed and Valentine goes into the buckle, Smith ducks his head for a back body attempt although Valentine kicks him in the head and delivers a headbutt to the ground. Valentine with a tag to Brutus, who immediately works on the arm with an arm wringer, which he wrings out for leverage but Smith counters by getting his arm under the body of Brutus and press-slamming him, allowing him to Dynamite. Dynamite in with a flurry chops and a clothesline, getting him a 2 count. A small package gets 2, and a recovering Valentine meets the boot of Smith and Dynamite tags out, Smith with a fisherman’s suplex that gets 2. Smith tries to wear down Beefcake with a front face lock, but Brutus is able to tag Valentine blindly, giving him the chance to nail Smith with a top rope double axehandle on the head. Valentine with a suplex and a float over for 2, he nails him in the face with an elbow and applies a chinlock. Smith fights out of the hold by standing up and is able to make a tag to Billington, who engages in a punch out with Valentine, it goes back and forth until Dynamite takes the advantage and begins chopping him. Valentine retreats to the corner, but Dynamite follows with vicious shoulder charges, wearing down Valentine. A punch to the back of the head and Valentine flaws to the mat, giving a 2 count, he tags in Smith, who tags Dynamite back in and they give Valentine a double shoulder tackle. Once, Smith leaves the ring, Brutus come in and attacks Dynamite, allowing Valentine to regain the advantage, so that when the referee restrains him, Valentine is dominating with forearms to the face. A whip into the rope, Dynamite counters with a sunset flip, getting him a 2 count, a backbreaker follows, 1,2, Brutus breaks up the pin. A kneedrop gets another 2, before Valentine counters with punches to the face and he hooks Dynamite up for the Valentine piledriver (a delayed piledriver where he would land on his knees) and gets a 2 count. Another 3 pinfall attempts occur, each getting a 2 count and on a fourth, Dynamite counters an attempt with a lowblow. Valentine climbs to the top rope, but is struck with Flair syndrome, he tries for a pin, 1,2, kick out, Beefcake tries to come to save his partner, but Smith sends him to the outside, Dynamite slams Valentine and goes for a splash from being press-slammed by Davey Boy, but Valentine moves out of the way. Valentine bails, Dynamite gives chase and throws him back into the rind, when Dynamite re-enters, Valentine rakes the eyes and lays the boots to him and nails him with right hands. Dynamite falls back into his corner, allowing the tag, Smith into the action, Valentine pounds away but Smith makes the comeback with a running powerslam for 2, suplex and a float over for 2. Smith picks up Valentine, he whips him into the corner, but its reversed and Smith hits the post with his shoulder hard injuring it. Valentine with big boots to the shoulder and a standing hammerlock turned into a chickenwing, when he tags in Brutus, who nails the trapped Bulldog with a middle rope punch to the shoulder. Beefcake works him over with elbows to the shoulder and a hammerlock; Smith tries to counter with a snapmare but Brutus just drop him on his arm and follows this up with boots to the head. He re-applies the hammerlock and rams the shoulder into the corner, whilst tagging in Valentine, who tattoos Smith with a top rope elbow to the shoulder. Valentine with a running shoulderbreaker, 1,2, Valentine picks him up, well he’s lost and torques the neck with a headlock. Smith with some momentum, throws Valentine off him, he collides with Dynamite in the corner, knocking Valentine square in the head, Smith covers,1,2, 3. Time: 11:48 Heat: 7/10 Storyline: 6/10 Wrestling: 8/10 Average: 7/10 Event Summary Segment Average: 5/10 Storyline Progression: 5/10 Commentary: 6/10 Event Average: 5/10 REASONS TO WATCH § A Bulldogs tag team match. § An entertaining battle royale. § Bret Hart’s Wrestlemania debut. REASONS NOT TO WATCH § The women’s match. § The flag match. § Mean Gene on commentary. Random Fact: My favourite cruiserweight weight wrestler is Jamie Noble (boy) COMING SOON… CLASSIC COACH- A video of leading RAW announcer Jonathan Coachman ‘coaching’ you on some of his favourite dance moves including The Charleston and The Coach- a move where you bend over for 2 hours, so Jerry Lawler can kick your rear end when you mispronounce JR’s favourite football player. Stage 3 Your hosts are Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes and Elvira (who is the face here) Ricky Steamboat (WM Best: 7/10) v. Hercules Hernandez (WM Best: NC). We start with Hercules wailing away on Steamboat with big punches and he forces him back into the corner, where he works him over with big knees, before going to town on his forehead with big elbows. Hercules rams him headfirst into the turnbuckle, before whipping him into the ropes, Steamboat misses Hercules by sliding in-between his legs, he does it again and nails him with a running chop. Steamboat with 2 quick armdrags and an armbar, Steamboat continually wrings the arm and punches down at the joint whenever Hernandez tries to stand up, but eventually Hercules makes it to his feet and nails Steamboat with some punches, rocking him breaking the hold and allowing him to be whipped into the ropes. Hercules tries a clothesline, ducked by Steamboat, Hercules with a leapfrog and a backbreaker, but Steamboat flips out of Hercules grasp and knocks him down with a crescent kick to the chest. Steamboat with an armdrag and holds onto the arm, he goes to the mat to add leverage to the hold. As Hercules gets to his feet, Steamboat bends the forearm back on the hold to increase the pain, however eventually Hernandez powers out of the hold with right hands. With the advantage, he whips Steamboat into the ropes, but its reversed by Steamboat by a chop, and he whips Hercules into the rope, a leapfrog by Ricky but Steamboat catches him the second time around with a back elbow, which leads to a vertical suplex before locking in the armbar. Hercules breaks the hold, by ramming Steamboat headfirst into the buckle. Hercules with big knees to the jaw and a stun gun, before nailing him again with a big boot to the face. Steamboat rallies with the crowds support and breaks Hercules momentum with backhands to the stomach, Steamboat attempts a scoop slam but his back gives out and Hercules gets a 2 count. Hercules with 2 measured punches and rams his head hard into the turnbuckle. Hercules whips him into the ropes and hits him with a back elbow, then 2 elbowdrops in quick succession and a pose to the crowd, before getting a 2 count. Steamboat fights back with chops, but one misses and Hercules counters with a shot to the head, before a British pin (elbow in the face when pinning) gets 2, with Hercules getting more frustrated by the second, he attempts another pin but gets 2. Hercules continues to injure the back with 2 sloppy military press slams to the mat and goes to the top rope to finish it with a top rope splash, Hercules comes off the top rope but is met with Steamboat’s knees. Steamboat stumbles to the top rope and nails a staggered Hercules with a flying cross body for the pinfall. Time: 7:26 Heat: 6/10 Storyline: 6/10 Wrestling: 7/10 Average: 6/10 Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) (WM Best:NC) v. Uncle Elmer (WM Best: NC). Uncle Elmer I think was the start of the Hillybilly ‘family’ in the WWE, so you know whom to blame. Anyway, Adonis attired in a nice pink floral number is blindsided by Elmer coming into the ring with a shot to the back of the head and is whipped into the turnbuckle, another whip into the turnbuckle and a Flair Flip, and Adonis falls to the floor through the ropes via an Elmer punch. Adonis climbs back in the ring and is met with another right hand, causing him to hit the steel ring post. Adrian retreats to the outside, where he gathers with Jimmy Hart for advice, when he re-enters the ring, Elmer attacks him on the apron, ripping the dress and hitting him with a big hand, before bringing him in the hard way. Elmer with a choke and bounces him off his stomach, sending Adonis careering towards the ropes, where he is tied up, giving him 2 free shots, before Jimmy Hart and the referee free Adonis. Adonis comes back with a punch of his own and a kick to the face. Elmer forces Adonis off him with his brute strength and whips him into the turnbuckle, where he meets him with an avalanche splash and Adonis falls to the mat, Elmer goes for the legdrop, but Adonis rolls out of the way. Adonis sensing that Elmer knocked the wind out of his sails goes to the top rope and delivers a splash for the 3 count. Time: 3:03 Heat: 5/10 Storyline: 2/10 Wrestling: 2/10 Average: 3/10 Tito Santana & Junkyard Dog (WM Best: NC) v. Terry & Dory ‘Hoss’ Funk (w/Hart) (WM Best: NC). Tito and JYD are in the ring when we join the match, forcing the Funks to retreat to the outside as Tito is armed with a steel chair. Tito drops the chair and the Funks slowly re-enter the ring, JYD starts along with Hoss, while a reluctant Terry stays on the outside. They lock-up with Hoss gains the advantage with a well-timed knee to the gut and some forearms in the corner. He tries a whip into the turnbuckle, JYD reverses, Terry jumps over the top rope to try and save Hoss from being sent to the turnbuckle but fails and collides with an oncoming Hoss after a JYD whip. The Funks are then slammed to the mat, Tito comes in to help JYD and both the faces clean the Funks from the ring with a slam and a forearm. The Funks regroup outside with Hart, they slowly come back to the ring, and Hoss enter the ring with the JYD, although he antagonizes Tito on the outside causes him to tag into the match, but only if Terry comes into the match, he obliges. Terry and Tito lock-up and Terry gains the advantage with a chops against the ropes, which is countered with a push, Terry has so much momentum that he goes to grab Tito, Tito moves out the way, Terry slingshots himself off the ropes and gets tied up in them, so Tito can clothesline him over the top rope. Hoss tries to blindside Tito illegally, but Hoss is met twice with dropkicks from Tito sending him out of the ring. Terry comes back into the ring and JYD is tagged in, he and Funk square off in a fist fight, which JYD wins and sends Funk to the corner and rammed into it head-first 10 times and does it again on the opposing turnbuckle. JYD follows this with a headbutt and gets a 2 count before Hoss breaks up the pin; JYD, sending Funk for a loop, then dumps Terry over the top rope. Terry takes a couple of moments to regain his composure, allowing him to tag Hoss on entering the ring, Hoss comes into the match and locks up with JYD but is met with a headlock, allowing for the tag and Tito applying the same move. Hoss fights out by forcing him against the ropes and placing a knee in the abdominal muscles, before knocking him woozy with big uppercut, he whips him into the ropes, Santana counters with 2 leapfrogs, before catching Hoss unawares with the Flying Japaelano, 1,2, Terry interrupts. Tito reacts angrily and gives Terry some mounted punches. Terry quickly slips to the outside and Hoss retreats to the apron, Tito gathers his bearings and headlocks an unsuspecting Hoss over the top rope and into the ring, they start criss-crossing the ring, trying to gain the advantage until Terry from the outside nails Tito with a knee to the back. Terry tags in and throws Tito out the ring by his hair, letting Hart put the loafers to him before the JYD scares him off. Eventually, Tito begins to regain his balance outside, before Terry from the apron tattoos him with boots to the back of the head. A fallen Tito, allows Hart to put the boots to him again, but again JYD comes over to protect his partner. JYD throws Tito back into the match and Terry puts the boots to him, before hooking him up and delivering a vertical suplex for 2. Terry argues this call with the referee, and again tries for another vertical suplex, but Tito counter with a suplex of his own. They both get back to their feet and both shouldertackle each other to the mat. Terry falls back into the Funk corner getting the tag, so Hoss comes into the match and gets a double underhook suplex for 2. Tito fights back from a front face lock with punches but is extinguished with Funk uppercuts. Terry tags in and Tito receives a double clothesline, Terry with the advantage hits a standing legdrop for 2, he tries a running legdrop, but misses, Funk keeps a hold of Tito, Santana comes back with punches, Tito is freed, Santana crawls over to his corner and makes the tag to JYD. JYD is a house of fire, noggin knocker for the Funks, chops to both sending Hoss outside. Terry retrieves a chain out of his trunks and chokes JYD from behind with it, JYD breaks his grip with headbutts and the chain is out of Terry’s hand, Terry charges at JYD, but JYD back body drops him over the top rope to the floor. JYD keeps on Terry nailing him and slamming onto a table at ringside. Hoss tries to blindside JYD, but he is having none of it, Tito comes back to neutralise Hoss. Terry slides back inside the ring, but JYD is waiting for him and has him at his mercy, Hart jumps onto the apron as a distraction and is knocked down accordingly. JYD ties up Funk in a small package,1,2,Hoss breaks up the pin, Tito rushes into the ring and apples the figure four leglock onto Hoss, which causes the referee to throw Tito out of the ring and this creates a distraction. This presents Hart with the opportunity to throw Terry the megaphone, he nails an unsuspecting JYD and Terry covers JYD,1,2,3. Time: 11:56 Heat: 7/10 Storyline: 7/10 Wrestling: 8/10 Average: 7/10 Hulk Hogan is shown weightlifting with Hillybilly Jim, while Gene Okerlund recaps the history leading towards the Wrestlemania main event. On Main Event, Bundy saved Heenan from feeling Hogan’s wrath, and then later, Muraco ran to the ring and held Hogan in place for 3 avalanches in the corner and 2 splashes to the mat, injuring Hogan’s back and his pride, with the Hulkster asking, nay, DEMANDING that he face Bundy in a cage on the biggest stage of them all. We see the guest for the main event. The guest timekeeper is Ricky Schroder. Tommy Lasorda is the guest ring announcer. The guest referee is Robert Conrad. WWE Title, Cage Match, Exit Only: Hulk Hogan (WM Best: 7/10) v. King Kong Bundy (w/Bobby Heenan) (WM Best: 5/10). Hogan comes to the ring with his ribs bandaged from the SNME attack by Bundy, will Hulkamania end tonight? The match starts with the traditional tie-up and this degenerates into a fist fight between the 2 men, which Hogan gets the better end of. Hogan punches Bundy and he hits the cage hard and Hogan seizes the advantage with a boot to the face. Hogan with the advantage begins to choke out Bundy with the strap from his own costume as irony strikes hard. Hogan continues to throw everything he has at Bundy in the corner and with him sufficiently hurt goes to climb the cage giving Bundy the opportunity to hit him in the injured ribs. Bundy with a big scoop slam, then grinding his face into the mat, then tries to walk out the door, which is a big mistake. Hogan saves the day by thwarting Bundy from leaving the cage, but as a consequence is himself thrown into the cage back first, allowing him the chance to walk out the door. But Hogan stops him from doing so. Bundy pulls the bandages off Hogan’s ribs and begins to choke him with it. Bundy then ties Hogan to the bottom rope with his bandages, as Bundy had brains as well as fat. Hogan then rips the bandage off the bottom rope and stops an escaping Bundy from walking out the cage door. Hogan now with the advantage and starts with sending Bundy’s face to met the cage. At this point, Heenan obstructs the camera’s view so that Bundy can blade, then Hogan starts opening the wound with punches to Bundy’s face. Hogan slams Bundy into the cage and he then says hello to the cage a couple more times. He chokes out Bundy using the top rope and his foot. Hogan then attempts the fat guy-killing slam, but gravity does not work in Hogan’s favour and he cannot power Bundy up, causing Bundy to fall on top of him. Bundy slowly crawls to the exit, although Hogan just prevents him when he chokes him with the fallen bandages. Bundy stops the choking with an eye rake, confusing Hogan momentarily, letting him connect with the avalanche in the corner and a massive splash to the mat. Bundy sensing that this is it tries to leave through the door, but at the last second Hogan grabs the leg of Bundy. A frustrated Bundy targets the injured ribs of Hogan and then nails him with an avalanche splash, but does not affect Hogan anymore, he Hulks up to the delight of the fans, and Bundy hit another avalanche! Ring it up as a no sell, as Hogan finds the power to ignore the pain now. Hogan receives the power now and slams Bundy to the mat. The big legdrop follows and Bundy is out of it completely. Hogan begins to climb the cage in an egocentric moment (why not walk out the door), but so does Bundy, who has found the strength to get up from the legdrop, and Heenan, who has run into the cage to assist Bundy. Bundy is catching a hurt Hogan, but has the strength to boot him off the top rope on to the mat, and he’s out now. Hogan makes over and onto the floor out before a recovering Bundy reaches the door, to retain the title. A scared Heenan is then locked in the cage by Hogan, who climbs back inside and throws Heenan around like a rag doll into the cage, hurting him for no apparent reason. Time: 10:15 Heat: 8/10 Storyline: 6/10 Wrestling: 5/10 Average: 6/10 Event Summary Segment Average: Storyline Progression: 5/10 Commentary: 7/10 Event Average: 6/10 REASONS TO WATCH § Terry Funk bumping and selling. § Hulkamania starting to revolutionise wrestling. § Steamboat wrestling. REASONS NOT TO WATCH § Generic hero-evil fat guy cage match. § Adrian Adonis over-selling in a dress. § Lord Alfred Hayes. Quote Of The Night: "If Mr. T beats me, not only would I quit pro boxing, I would retire from wrestling, quit tiddlywinks, I would even quit dating girls. I'd stick with Orton though." Roddy Piper Random Fact: I have developed a scientific theory about Eddie Guerrero linking mullet length to cheating, January 2003- Skinhead, face with little cheating July 2003- Mullet half grown in, style in place; needs developing in length, tweener with moderate cheating 2002- Mullet full length even developing into a ponytail, proper rudo heel Coincidence, I think not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
