Review of CMLL 3/29 and 4/5

[Guest Burning Hammer]

XEWT-TV feed of CMLL 3/29 and 4/5. This covers the buildup the week before and the actual hair vs hair match between Shocker and Vampiro.

 

3/29 XEWT-TV feed of CMLL TV

 

1. Hair vs Hair/Gran Markus vs Pierroth: We join the match in progress when Markus hits a giant fat ass splash from the top rope for two. Pierroth counters with the POWER OF THE PUNCH (brass knucks aided) and it is ovah as we apparently joined this for the third fall only. Markus loses his hair! This match was clipped to like 1 minute because neither of these guys are very good. We get to see the shave job and it is a fine one. That CMLL barber knows how to shave that hair. I tend to enjoy Gran Markus because he can be fun to watch for a fat guy and he has some weird hold over me. I can't figure it out either.

 

Averno skit to tide us over between matches where he talks to Mephisto.

 

2. Tinieblas Jr./Villano III/Villano IV vs Salvaje/Averno/Mephisto: The Villano side is technico and the Mephisto side is working rudo. The first fall is not very exciting as Tinieblas Jr. submits to a double arm bar, Villano IV submits to an unpainfull looking wacky lucha hold and Villano III submits to a modified STF. Damn that fall was boring but at least it was short. The best part was the rudos launching themselves onto Villano IV while IV was on the top turnbuckle. Actually that sounds more exciting than it was. Let’s hope the second fall gives us some better entertainment.

 

We come back from break with a commercial hyping up the Shocker/Vampiro match up for next week. Now onto the second fall! Mephisto and Averno take it to Villano IV which raises the ire of III who comes in to get his ass kicked by all the rudos. III clears the ring of the rudos in uninteresting fashion. I am not really digging this match so let’s talk about the god awful ugly light purple/dark purple trunks of the Villanos. Seriously one side is dark purple then on the other side of the line it is light purple. These things are hideous. The technicos take the second fall with a tombstone submission hold from Tinieblas Jr. onto Averno and Mephisto getting pinned and I assume Salvaje got counted out due to his brawling on the outside with III.

 

Third and final fall starts out with Mephisto and Villano IV and things pick up here as they trade some nice looking arm drags and then Mephisto takes the big giant fall over the top rope. Tinieblas Jr. and Averno go at it with some nice action ending up with Averno on the outside. Mephisto comes back in to take it to Tinieblas Jr. but Mephisto suffers the same fate of landing on the outside. Villano III enters the fray to trade chops with Salvaje who also suffers the fate of all the rudos this fall of landing on the outside. Salvaje is back in the ring and we have UN FOULO! UN FOULO! Salvaje kicked Villano III right in the balls to give the final fall to the technicos.

 

This match was incredibly unexciting but nothing offensively bad about it just boring. If I must I will call it *1/2

 

3. Olimpico/Safari/Virus vs Mascara Magica/Mr. Mexico/Nosawa: Nosawa comes to the ring like The Great Mutah did in the NWA which I find highly amusing since he looks more like an evil clown in the ring with his pig tails and lipstick. Mascara Magica's team is of course the rudos and the Olimpico’s team are the technicos. Mr. Mexico and Olimpico start off the first fall. They take it to the mat and wrestle each other to a draw and tag in their partners Nosawa and Safari. They also take it to the mat but they are much more entertaining with their mat work. Virus and Mascara Magica follow up next and put together some nice sequences. A nice tope from Olimpico onto Mexico. Safari and Nosawa mix it up with some stiff chops. Mascara Magica submits to wacky Lucha hold #1 (inverted surfboard it looked like) applied by Virus and Nosawa submits to wacky lucha hold #2 (sitdown roll back pedigree is the best way to explain it) administered by Olimpico as the technicos take the first fall.

 

Onto the second fall. Nosawa and Safari to start and the pigtailed one ends up with a kick in the face for his trouble. We have got a brawl here as the refs lose control. All four brawl to the outside leaving Olimpico to get pounded on by Magica. Everyone back in the ring now and Mexico pins Virus to take the fall for the rudos.

 

The third fall starts at pier six with all competitors taking it to each other. Safari ends up with the worst end of it as he takes a beating from the rudos ending with a ddt from Magica. Fast forward to heel miscommunication between Mr. Mexico and Nosawa resulting in a massive dive from Safari onto Nosawa. That was mighty nice. The third fall ends when Olimpico is countering a throw into the turnbuckle and Mascara Magica pulls his mask off which of course is grounds for immediate disqualification and the third fall for the technicos.

 

This match was a little bit better than the previous but not much. The effort was a little bit higher and Nosawa is enjoyable to watch as is Safari so lets give this **.

 

We come back from commercial with Shocker talking to his troops for the next match. They are all wearing University 1000% Guapo t-shirts! Shocker says something along the lines that he is the most beautiful man on the whole planet. His cocky persona is hilarious.

 

4. Black Warrior/Rey Buccanero/Ultimo Guerrero/Shocker vs Mr. Niebla/El Hijo del Lizmark/Super Porky/Vampiro (Gran Markus)

I love Super Porky's entrance. This giant fat man dancing with hot CMLL babe is just comic gold. He is also accompanied by weird looking blue midget sized mascot of CMLL. Vampiro and his bed head Mohawk come out but he is unable to compete due to the arm injuries he suffered at the hands of Shocker last week so his replacement is the freshly shorn Gran Markus. Vampiro cuts a promo saying it’s his house, his people, and he is coming for Shocker's hair.

 

First fall starts off with everybody beating on each other. Guerreros del Inferno (the team name of Rey Buccanero and Ultimo Guerrero) taking it to Gran Markus and then we get clips of last week where Shocker pulverizes Vampiro's arm not once but twice as Vamp came back down after his arm was injured. Back to live action as Lizmark and Markus are on the bad end of a beating in the ring. Markus gets pinned after a suplex by the Guerrero's, Lizmark submits to an arm bar and the little blue mascot gets beat up by Shocker. Super Porky tends to the mascot in a very caring way rubbing its fake little blue face. Mr. Niebla gets crotched on the outside and then tossed around by Black Warrior. Markus' beating continues in the ring as he just can not buy a break tonight. The rudos take the first fall after the pin on Markus and the submission by Lizmark mentioned earlier.

 

Second fall starts with a shot Niebla's mask in shreds. A big brawl erupts to start the second fall with Niebla taking it to Black Warrior. The crowd is going nuts for this match. Gran Markus and Super Porky make a sandwich out of Ultimo Guerrero. Seriously two giant fat men running into Ultimo Guerrero at the same time had to suck. Niebla and Lizmark do a double dive onto Shocker and Black Warrior leaving team FAT to take on the Guerreros del Infierno. They try to sunset flip but you can’t sunset flip team FAT and they are promptly sat on for the pin. Take note young luchadores. Never try to sunset flip Gran Markus and Super Porky at the same time. You will lose and possibly suffer a serious injury to your chest cavity. In the aftermath of the double pin the little blue mascot gets his revenge on Shocker by doing a handstand and kicking him in the face. From the replays you can see the contented looks on Markus and Porky's face as if all they ever want to do is sit on other men's chests for pins. It is a wondrous site.

 

Third fall starts with Gran Markus busting out a hurricanrana on Rey Buccanero! Super Porky steps in with Ultimo Guerrero and busts out that thing that cruiserweights due where they put the leg on the head and then flip over well fucking fat ass Super Porky just did that. It ruled. He then took Guerrero's head and slammed it into his giant ass which of course sent Guerrero flying outside the ring. Shocker and Lizmark tear it up trading chops and kicks. Lizmark demonstrates his power with a press slam on Shocker. Gran Markus steps in and goes toe to toe with the Infierno boys and ends up doing a giant Gran Markus dive from the top turnbuckle! This needs to be seen to be believed. Mr. Niebla is so fired up about it he is wiggling his hips in a suggestive manner but that ends shortly as Black Warrior hits a leg drop on the outside onto him and then takes his mask! Super Porky gets pinned by Shocker shortly afterward. Then Vampiro hits the ring to kick Shocker in the balls, get in his face and tell him he is taking his hair! Shocker is almost in tears after hearing this. We get a shot of Black Warriors mask which is torn to shreds but he has the mask of Niebla and is very pleased with himself.

 

That final fall rocked the house. The rest of the match was high quality as well. I've gotta give this ***3/4 just for the awesome fat assed dive from Gran Markus but the rest of this match was non stop action and the booking flowed well sowing the seeds for a Black Warrior/Mr. Niebla feud and also giving us that final touch of hype for the hair vs hair match up between Shocker and Vampiro. I am suitably hyped to see that match. I can't wait, good thing it’s on the next part of this tape.

 

4/5/03 XEWT feed of CMLL TV

 

Today our main event is Vampiro vs Shocker hair vs hair match. Alfonso Morales starts us out as per the norm running over upcoming shows in the area.

And now onto the Lucha Libre!

 

We get an Ultimo Guerrero and Rey Buccanero skit to start us off. They are playing soccer and Buccanero is screaming GOALLLLL! They talk about a bunch of luchadores and Ultimo doesn't have any money and he sucks at soccer.

 

1. Los Guerreros del Infierno/Universo Dos Mil (2000) vs Mr. Niebla/Hijo del Lizmark/Atlantis

We get a big brawl to start. The captains are Universo Dos Mil and Atlantis. Niebla's mask has already been unlaced. They must really hate Niebla's beautiful mask although today he lacks the teal tights to top it all off. Niebla is taking a three on one beating as the technicos are just getting destroyed. Guerreros del Infierno bust out an awesome top rope combo where Ultimo holds Lizmark in a modified surfboard and then Buccanero hits him with a sweet ass senton! It is now Atlantis' turn to get destroyed and he ends up getting pinned by all three after a diamond dust by Buccanero.

 

Second fall: The rudos continue their domination in the ring until Mr. Niebla turns the tide by outsmarting all three of his opponents. Niebla is pissed as he starts unlacing Universo's mask. Things calm down as we now pair off with Lizmark and Buccanero showing their stuff. Lizmark gets the better of that exchange and now its time for Niebla and Universo dos Mil to go at it. Mil with some nice chops but is outsmarted by Niebla's smoothness and agility. Universo ends up taking a huge fall to the outside and is of course followed to the outside with a nice dive by Niebla. Same thing for Buccanero as Lizmark hits a nice dive on him. Now it is time to cue wacky lucha finish as Universo dos Mil pulls off Niebla's mask and Atlantis pulls off Universo dos Mil's mask resulting in a DQ for the technicos and a win for the rudos. We then get to see Niebla in Universo's mask and vice versa. Post match Atlantis cuts a pissed off promo as does Niebla. Niebla wants Universo's championship and Atlantis wants a piece of Buccanero's hair if my rudimentary Spanish is working today.

 

This match was all about setting up future match ups so the screwy finish can be forgiven. In fact I liked the finish for its creativity although having not watched a ton of Lucha I don't know if that finish happens a lot so I'll just go on record saying that is a finish I enjoyed seeing for the first time. There was some really nice action during the match but it was a little on the short side. ** for the good effort and making Universo dos Mil seem entertaining.

 

We get to see Shocker talking to his Guapo students and then he treats us to the kissing of his bicep.

 

2. Hair vs Hair/Shocker vs Vampiro

Shocker comes out with two hot ass CMLL babes (also accompanied by Goldberg like fireworks) coordinating his black in white outfit by one wearing a white two piece outfit (blonde) and the other wearing a black two piece outfit (brunette) They then undress the 1000% Guapo individual. Vamp comes out to his punk music entrance in a Gi with a black belt around his waist. Vamp's bed head Mohawk is looking quite good today. We get boxing style intros for this obviously huge match up as the crowd is AMPED. Both get big face pops with the female fans firmly behind Vampiro.

 

First fall: Big Vampiro chant to start. Both avoid each other's first attempts at striking. Side suplex by Vamp and Shocker takes a powder. Vampiro to the outside and he clotheslines Shocker back in and then tries a running dive into the ring from the ramp which is thwarted by Shocker. Shocker does his Steve Austin stomping mud hole impression on Vamp in the corner. The crowd loves every second of this. Shocker misses a splash in the corner. Vamp hits his choke slam/rock bottom combo out of nowhere to take the first fall. The crowd is most pleased.

 

Second fall: Vampiro kicks the snot out of Shocker's leg and crushes him with a spin kick to the chest. They fight over a suplex to the outside which Shocker ends by SLAPPING Vamp in the face to knock him off the apron. Now that is a stiff slap. The match heads to the outside where Shocker has control. Shocker's leg is not in good shape. He grabs Vamp who is on the apron and hits a rope aided stunner on Vamp's. Shocker is just dominating here as he runs up the turnbuckles and springs off to hit a drop kick. He then applies a dragon sleeper to get the submission for the second fall. Between falls we get a close up of Vamp and he is on Dream Street attempting to shake the cobwebs out. Shocker is prancing in the ring just awaiting the beginning of the third fall.

 

Third fall: Shocker misses a splash in corner but Vamp misses him on the comeback splash attempt and he takes it to Vamp's leg. Spinning toe hold by Shocker into an STF. Vamp reaches the ropes. Shocker drags him back into the middle and continues to work the leg with spinning toe holds. Vamp foolishly attempts to kick at Shocker with his fucked up leg and pays the price for it. Shocker responds by kicking Vamp in the head, slamming him into the ground and then attempting a top rope splash but missing. Vamp crawls over and puts on a Crossface. Shocker desperately heads for the ropes and reaches them. Both men are gassed. Vamp goes for his finisher but it is blocked. Shocker goes for Vamp's finisher but it is also blocked. They trade blows and kicks and both men are out on their feet resting against each other. Shocker recovers first and hits Vamp with a big right hand. Vamp is out on the canvas. Shocker tries a flying top rope elbow but Vamp evades. 2 German Suplexes onto Vamp leave him lying lifeless in the ring. Shocker pulls the arm around the back and raps his leg around Vamp's head and rolls him up for the One Two Three. NOOOOO! The bed head Mohawk is no more. I don’t know if I can stand it. The crowd pops huge and confetti drops from the ceiling and the CMLL barber is out for a shaving of the beautifully quaffed bed head Mohawk. Shocker dances for everyone's enjoyment.

 

Post match we get to see Shocker cut Vamp's hair. The bed head Mohawk is gone and I weep bitter tears as that bed head stood as a beacon for men of the world to unite and let their bed head flow. I no longer can look at that hair as the virtue of fashion justice that it was.

 

Unlike a recent hair vs hair match up Vamp is shaved bald by Shocker right in front of our very eyes. Vamp looks bad ass shaved bald. The CMLL barber does some touch up work to Shocker's shave job and Vamp takes it like a man shaking the ref's hand. Shocker gives away some of Vamp's hair to the crowd. Vamp gets a nice ovation after his shaving.

 

Now that was a wresting match. What a way to finish off a feud. Both men wrestled a very good match with some nice stiff striking and great crowd heat. The fans were eating out of these guys hands. I haven't seen crowd heat like this for some time. **** for a great wrestling match.

 

Overall this was a great tape with two matches being awesome and nothing sucking that bad. You get to see the blowoff to a great feud that spanned weeks of really good tv before this tape started and a great 8 man tag matchup that really added that last final touch of hype before the big match.

 

You want this badly. So talk to me or you can find it from other fine dealers of the Lucha.