OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/26/03

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

(Fade in)

[Cue: "Out of My Way" by Seether]

 

Out of my way!

HIGH IMPACT ROARING ELBOW BY JAY DARRING!

 

Out of my way!

MALIBU CONNECTS WITH THE TRENDSETTER ON SPIDERPOET!

 

I can’t pass up this opportunity to make myself absurd,

Kick to the gut...POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS!

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

3!

* DING DING DING *

 

JR

Yes!

 

Jesse:

Zack Malibu has finally become the World Champion! This response is deafening!

 

I can’t pass up this opportunity to make myself be heard.

DEATH VALLEY CRADLE BY JAY DARRING!

 

JR: THAT'S THE KT DRILLER! THAT'S THE KT DRILLER! JAY HASN'T USED THAT MOVE IN YEARS!

 

1.....

 

2....

 

3!!!!!!

 

JR: WE HAVE A NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION, A SUPERSTAR HAS BEEN BORN AT SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

Would you, like to, be the one who sees me lose this all,

RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX THROUGH THE GLASS! GLASS IS EVERYWHERE!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN TWO!

 

JR:"BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD DID YOU SEE THAT!!!!"

 

Would you, like to, be the one who sees me fall!?

He now has both belts, then falls 10 feet to the mat! The referee rings the bell!

 

JR: WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION! JAY HAS DONE IT! JAY HAS FINALLY DONE IT! BAWD GAWD KID~! WAY TO GO!!!

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way!

Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way!

ZACK ATTACK~! connects on Shattered Dreams!

Yakuza Kick to Calvin!

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way

Give it up, I’m doin’ this my way

SHOOTING STAR PRESS by Jay on Ted Weddy!

STIFF~! Superkick- connects out of nowhere on K-NESS!

 

 

You like to think the worst is over now, but you can't breathe at all

You like to think you’re owed a favor now, man you’ve seen it all

and then it happens...

ZACK MALIBU DIVES OFF THE LADDER, 20 FEET IN THE AIR...GUILLOTINE LEGDROP THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE...LEGDROP THROUGH THE TABLE FROM THE LADDER~!

 

Did you, want to, be the one who pushed me off the wall

Did you, want to, be the one who let me fall!?

JAY SHOVES HIM OFF THE CAGE!

PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING GOES FALLING, FALLING 20 FEET BELOW...

AND CRASHES WITH A SICKENING THUD THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!

 

JR: JAY DARRING HAS FULFILLED HIS PROPHECY!

 

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way

Give it up son, I’m doin’ this my way

ZACK MALIBU USED A RODEO DRIVER ON SHATTERED DREAMS~!!!

Zack reaches over and grabs the leg, hooking it for what feels like the millionth time tonight.

ONE!!!

 

TWO!!!!

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way

Give it up son, I’m doin’ this my way

TOP-ROPE AFTERTHOUGHT ON THE MAD CAPPA~!

 

You can’t hold me down..

THE CROSS SPECIAL POP DROP~!

 

You can’t hold me down..

FORESHADOW to Vitamin X!

 

You can’t hold me down..

SPRINGBOARD BODYPRESS to K-Money!

 

You can’t hold me down..

AFTERTHOUGHT~! to Andrew Hyland!

 

I can’t pass up this opportunity to make myself absurd,

I can’t pass up this opportunity to make myself be heard.

 

Caboose grabs Zack's left arm and raises it in the air, as Zack holds aloft the Championship with his right arm.

And the crowd goes insane!

 

Would you, like to, be the one who sees me lose this all,

Would you, like to, be the one who sees me fall.

A BARBED WIRE HARSH REALITY ON JACOB X! HE QUITS, HE QUITS!

 

JR: JAY DARRING HAS DELIVERED A FATAL BLOW TO THE TRINITY!

 

A bloody Jay Darring gets his arm raised by "Sick" Nick Mondo!

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way

Give it up son, I’m doin’ this my way.

STIFF ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!

 

Nobody’s gonna stand in my way

Give it up son, I’m doin’ this my way.

ZACK ATTACK TO EL DANDY!

 

 

THE PRIME TIME PLAYER.

THE NEXT MAINSTREAM SUPERSTAR.

Jay Darring, tears in his eyes, points to the sky one last time, the North American title gleaming around his shoulder.

 

 

THE FRANCHISE OF OAOAST.

THE WORLD CHAMPION.

 

Zack Malibu is ushered up the side of the ramp, breaking loose for a moment to turn around and raise the belt high for all to see, adding more emotion to the ovation.

 

COACH:

that's what it's all about, baby!

 

TWO MEN. ONE CHAMPIONSHIP.

THE BIGGEST PRIZE IN THE GAME.

 

WILL WE SEE THE BIRTH OF AN ICON?

WILL ANOTHER CHAPTER IN A LEGEND'S STORY BE WRITTEN?

 

 

 

TONIGHT...INTENSEZONE.

Edited August 26, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

*BOOM BOOM BLAMMO WHAMMO POW POW POW*

 

The PYRO~! goes off, and the camera wildly pans around to thousands of screaming fans at the Cow Palace in San Francisco, California!

 

JR: In the state that Arnold hopes to rebuild, OAOAST IntenseZone is planning to tear the house down with one of the most anticipated World title matches in a long time! The fastest-rising star this promotion has ever seen gets his shot, his opportunity to reach the pinnacle of the profession against the greatest OAOAST champion in history- "Shooter" Jay Darring hooks up with Zack Malibu for the title tonight!

 

Jesse: That's gonna be one hell of a match JR! And I'll tell you what else is gonna be a barnburner, the personification of perfect Bizarro takes on the Mad Cappa in the semi-finals of the Revolution Tournament! Bizarro is gioing to prove his genetic superiority TONIGHT!

 

JR: And in your MAIN EVENT, the North American champion, K-NESS, defends his title against the enigmatic GameDust, making his debut here in San Fran!

 

Jesse: A place where I'm sure he feels right at home. GameDust has been very effective at getting inside Peter Cone's head, will he use his psychological prowess to take home the gold? I think he will!

 

JR: All that, plus Mystery Eskimo, Shocker, Jailbait, and MUCH MUCH MORE! Unlike my inferiors, I mean it when I say this might become the greatest IntenseZone in OAOAST history!

 

Jesse: Looks like we're getting some interesting developments RIGHT NOW JR! I'm getting word that our cameras have found Stephen Joseph in the back, and well, interesting may not be the appropriate word to describe it.

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

We cut to a dark room, aflame with candles, some incense, and a statute of Jesus alongside one of Buddha, Stephen Joseph stands, facing himself in the mirror. Reflected also in the mirror is Peter Cone, silently watching Mr. Popick.

 

Stephen Joseph

This is my Anthem. The song has been sung. No fat lady to perform though, none at all.

 

This song has been sung by me, Stephen Joseph Popick, a man like many men, full of good deeds, full of dreadful desires, and touched by God.

 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that has a saved a wretch like me. Looking into this mirror, I thank you, my Peter, for the lighted path from my wrongdoing. Though the sins of my evils continue to haunt me, sin itself, is powerless

 

Caboose...my tormentor, my sin, you are powerless on me.

 

::He turns around, facing the camera::

 

AngleSlam. The end of the line. The end of pain, the end of suffering. The end of this hatred. Come one way or another, I will find a way. You shall torment me no more Caboose. You will be washed in his blood.

 

AngleSlam. The day I kick out of the unholy Emerald Fusion.

 

AngleSlam. The day I vanquish my sin

 

AngleSlam. The day of salvation

 

AngleSlam. My salvation.

 

Brothers....Purity through pain. Only through pain can you know what it is to live without it. Only through pain can you appreciate not having it.

 

Angleslam. Pain.

 

Come with me.

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[Cut back to the broadcast booth]

 

JR: Stephen Joseph just continues to creep the hell out of me. And what was Peter Cone doing there?

 

Jesse: I don't know JR. Stephen Joseph is always thinking one step ahead of everyone else. I'm sure all will be revealed in due time.

 

CUE: Blackened

 

JR

Oh not this guy!

 

JESSE

Yes this guy! He has the right to be out here.

 

(Bizarro rises from the stage and walks to the ring with a smirk on his face. Fans boo him as he steps into the ring and asks for a mic.)

 

BIZARRO

Welcome to another edition of Bizarro World! Tonight I have some footage that will once and for all prove that Number 13 is a pathetic loser! All he had to do was follow orders and his life would be simple, but being the idiot he is, he just won’t listen! So let’s take a look shall we?

 

[[The scene opens with Blurricane sitting in front of Father’s desk as father smokes away on a pipe and looks very upset.]]

 

FATHER

You are beginning to become a trouble maker around here and we cannot have that. The more you resist the worse things will be for you around here so you might as well give it up. It is a chore for me to keep you failures around, but I do it out of the kindness of my heart! All I ask in return is for some obedience! You know very well you are not allowed to snoop around the house and you are not allowed in certain doors! So why do I still catch you trying to go where you’re not supposed to go?

 

BLURRICANE

I’m sorry sir. It’s a big house and sometimes I forget which room is which.

 

FATHER

You’re lying. I know very well that you hate me and would love to find a way out of here, but you’ll never leave. Even if you got out of the house you’d never find your way home because you don’t know where you are! Do you understand why I tape this and why I let those people out there see this? I do it because eventually it will break you and then we will have no more of this disobedience! Now I do not want to see you snooping around areas of the house you’re not allowed in ever again! Is that clear?

 

BLURRICANE

Yes sir.

 

FATHER

Now go back to your work.

 

(Blurricane leaves the office and is immediately stopped in the hall by Bizarro.)

 

BIZARRO

I heard you’ve been disobeying Father again! *SMACK* (Bizarro punches Blurricane in the gut) You need to learn your place or else your life will be hell!

 

(Bizarro walks off as Blurricane cringes in pain on the floor.)

 

BLURRICANE

My life already is hell…

 

[[The footage ends and we return to Bizarro in the ring]]

 

BIZARRO

You’re right Number 13. Your life is hell and it will always be! You are…

 

CUE: Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)

 

(The fans erupt as The Mad Cappa comes dancing out onto the stage with a look of anger on his face. Cappa walks to the ring, slides in, and then gets in Bizarro’s face. Cappa grabs the mic away and starts to talk.)

 

CAPPA

I am sick of…

 

(Bizarro snatches the mic away)

 

BIZARRO

No I am sick! I am sick of being interrupted!! You’ve seen what I’ve done to Number 13 and to the refs around here when they got in my way! Do you really want that to happen? You’ll be dead!

 

(Cappa grabs the mic back)

 

CAPPA

You could say I came back from the dead so I’ve been down that road already and frankly I’m not going back! (The crowd cheers) Blurricane was a good man…no scratch that he still is a good man and someday he’s gonna come back and kick your ass! (The crowd cheers even louder) But since he can’t do that right now I think it’s only fitting that I kick your ass tonight. We have a match later as part of this Revolution Tournament and I look forward to whoopin’ your ass. We’ll see who’s pathetic!

 

(Cappa drops the mic at Bizarro’s feet as Bizarro fumes in the ring over Cappa’s comments. Let Me Clear My Throat plays over the speakers as we fade out.)

Edited August 26, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[We once again head over to the broadcast booth following the commercial break]

 

JR: Fans, the heat between the Mad Cappa and Bizarro has been kicked up a notch, and these two will tangle in the Revolution tournament later tonight!

 

Jesse: "Kicked up a notch?" We're not on the Food Network JR.

 

JR: Cram it baldy. Anyway, last week we saw a slightly strange high court judge make a match for Angleslam! The evil, scheming Y2Jailbait and the Mystery Eskimo will lock up for the third time this year in a Jailhouse Match! No DQ, Cops as Lumberjacks, and the loser goes to JAIL~!

 

Jesse: And I can't wait to see Eskimo as a jailbird! If he was in my State, he'd get the death penalty!

 

JR: That's HARSH, Jess! Eskimo has been virtually proven innocent!

 

Jesse: There's no concrete proof of anything. All that matters is that Jailbait will pin Eskimo 1-2-3 and send him to the slammer.

 

JR: I sat down with Eskimo earlier today for an interview. Let's see what he had to say.

 

:: Cut to JR and Eskimo sitting in a darkened room ::

 

JR: Eskimo, it's been a traumatic few months for you. After you defeated your nemesis, JINGUS, you might have expected some peace. But Jailbait came straight after you.

 

Eskimo: That's right, Jim. I must admit Jailbait has been the toughest challenge I've ever faced. Not only is he a fine athlete but he's sick, twisted, and willing to do anything for himself.

 

JR: Do you regret the day you answered his call out, all those weeks ago?

 

Eskimo: No. If I hadn't, who knows who he would have gone after. I've been here in the OAOAST for a long, long time. I know the ropes, I know the score. It's one of my jobs to protect this federation, its reputation and its members. Eliminating Jailbait is the best way I can do that.

 

JR: The match on Sunday promises to be a SLOBBERKNOCKER, BAH GAWD! Ahem. Are you prepared?

 

Eskimo: I'm ready, Jim. I know what I have to do, and after Angleslam, the whole OAOAST will know the truth about Jailbait.

 

JR: It's been a pleasure, as always, Mystery. Good luck for Angleslam.

 

Eskimo: Thanks Jim. I- ARGGH!

 

:: Eskimo is SLAMMED on the head with a steel chair by Jailbait, appearing out of nowhere! Jailbait grins maniacally and CRACKS Eskimo with the chair again as he falls to the floor! JR gets up and backs away, as Jailbait SPITS on Eskimo! ::

 

Jailbait: Yeah, run away, fat man! Eskimo, you sit here all smug, acting like the locker room leader, you forget that everyone hates you for what you did to Clarissa? Then you make it worse by claiming I did it? ME? That's low, man. This little chair here- this is just a taster of the pain, humiliation and loss you'll feel after Angleslam. I'll see you soon, bitch.

 

:: The camera shows Eskimo, out cold and busted open. JR calls frantically for some help as Jailbait

swaggers off. We cut back from the video to our commentators ::

 

JR: That was a vile and heinous assault. I can thankfully report Eskimo suffered only a mild concussion and will be good to go at Angleslam, where he will kick that Jailbait's ass, BAH GAWD! There's gonna be hell to pay, not only for Jailbat, but for Bizarro Blurricane, because he's facing the one and only Mad Cappa NEXT!

 

[Commercial]

Edited August 26, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[We have RETURNED~! from ze commercials!]

 

R

Here we go. The finals for the IZ branch of the Revolution Tournament. The Mad Cappa has come back through adversity to advance in this tournament. Bizarro on the other hand cheated his way to this point.

 

JESSE

Now that wasn’t an unbiased look at the tournament so far!

 

JR

Ah hell when have I ever been unbiased? You’re not going to be unbiased so why should I dammit?

 

RING ANNOUNCER

This match is scheduled for one fall and is the finals of the IZ half of the Revolution Tournament!

 

CUE: Blackened

 

RING ANNOUNCER

Coming to the ring…from parts unknown…weighing in at 190 pounds…BIZARRO BLURRICANE!!!!

 

(Bizarro rises from the stage as the music starts to build. Slowly he looks up and begins to walk to the ring. The fans loudly chant “CAPPA”, which makes Bizarro smirk and just flip off the fans. Bizarro steps into the ring and poses on the turnbuckle much to the chagrin of the fans as his music dies out.)

 

JESSE

Aren’t you going to make some comment about how much of a cheater he is JR?

 

JR

Don’t get me started.

 

JESSE

Believe me that’s the last thing I want to do.

 

CUE: Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)

 

RING ANNOUNCER

Coming to the ring…from Washington, DC…weighing in at 185 pounds…THE MAD CAPPA!!!!

 

(Cappa dances out onto the stage for the fans who are cheering loudly. “CAPPA” chants break out throughout the arena as Cappa makes his way to the ring. Cappa steps onto the apron of the ring and poses for the crowd before stepping in. He is immediately met with a forearm shot from Bizarro)

 

JR

Bah gawd Bizarro isn’t wasting any time!

 

JESSE

That’s the way you gotta do it. Get the jump on him before he gets the jump on you.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Bizarro grabs him by the arm and whips him to the ropes. As Cappa comes bouncing back Bizarro hits a Hurricanrana and covers.

 

One…No!!

 

Bizarro quickly picks him back up and goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Cappa blocks it and goes to hit one of his own. As Cappa lifts Bizarro up he turns and drapes Bizarro stomach first across the top rope. Cappa then hops up to the second rope and comes off with a Leg Drop across the back of Bizarro’s head, causing Bizarro to flip forward into the ring. Cover.

 

One…No!!

 

Cappa pulls Bizarro to his feet and whips him to the ropes. He then catches Bizarro on the comeback with a Sleeper Hold, which he turns into a Fall from Grace! Cover.

 

One…Two..No!!

 

JR

Both men are trying to end this early!

 

JESSE

Either that or they wanna hurt each other!

 

Both men stand up and go to a lockup. They then jockey for control and eventually Cappa pushes Bizarro into the corner. The ref calls for a clean break as Bizarro tells him to back Cappa off. Cappa backs off, but Bizarro boots him to the gut and pulls him into the corner. Bizarro then fires off with hard chops that draw “whooo’s” from the crowd. Cappa chops back and both men get into a chop fight. Bizarro stops the chop fight with a hard right hand to Cappa’s face.

 

REF

Open up the hands Bizarro!

 

Bizarro looks at the ref and the smacks Cappa with an open hand smack to the chest.

 

BIZARRO

Is that better!?

 

Cappa uses the momentary distraction to grab Bizarro and pull him back to the corner. Cappa climbs up and starts a 10 Punch Flurry that the crowd counts along with.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Bizarro shoves Cappa off and to the mat. Quickly Bizarro then hops to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a Leg Drop to the fallen Cappa. Cover.

 

One…Two..No!!

 

JR

This is a different strategy than I’ve seen from these two before.

 

JESSE

You have to be able to adapt to different opponents JR! That’s why Bizarro is so great!

 

Bizarro pulls Cappa up, whips him to the ropes, and hits a Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker! Instead of going for a pin he locks a Surfboard Stretch onto Cappa and pulls back. Cappa starts to stand as Bizarro has his arms pulled behind him. Cappa then kicks back and hits Bizarro in his knee, causing him to let go of the hold. Bizarro hops around to keep from putting pressure on his knee, but he is nailed by a Short Dropkick to the knee from Cappa. Bizarro crumples to the mat in pain as Cappa grabs his leg and drops a couple of knees onto his leg. Cappa then plants his knee against Bizarro’s knee and pulls up on his lower leg while applying the pressure. Bizarro cringes in pain, but manages to kick Cappa a couple of times to make him break the hold.

 

JR

What about that? Cappa can adapt too you know!

 

JESSE

I never said he couldn’t! JR you’re getting on my last nerve!

 

As Cappa reaches down to pick Bizarro back up he gets met with a few right hands from Bizarro. Bizarro then hits a Kip Up Hurricanrana like AJ Styles. The move sends Cappa across the ring, but Cappa slowly stands again. As Cappa reaches his feet Bizarro hits him with a Dropkick that sends Cappa over the top rope and to the outside. Cappa lands hard on the floor as Bizarro climbs to the top rope. The fans buzz with anticipation as Bizarro waits for his opponent to stand. Cappa slowly pulls himself up as Bizarro leaps off for a Double Axe Handle, but Cappa leaps up at the last second and hits a Dropkick! The fans break out into a “holy shit” chant!

 

JR

Good gawd almighty! Cappa just dropkicked Bizarro out of his boots!

 

JESSE

My God JR these two are pulling out all the stops!

 

Both men are laid out on the floor as the ref starts his 10 count.

 

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…Cappa starts to pull himself up…8…Bizarro starts to push himself off the mat…9…Cappa rolls into the ring quickly to break the count, but he rolls right back out. Cappa pulls Bizarro to his feet, but Bizarro pokes him in the eyes and whips him into the barricade! The fans boo, but Bizarro just grins and starts to stomp on Cappa. Bizarro then tosses Cappa back into the ring and goes for a cover.

 

One…Two..No!!

 

Bizarro then locks in a Camel Clutch on Cappa and pulls back hard. Cappa cries out in pain as the ref asks if he wants to quit. Cappa says no so Bizarro pulls back harder. Bizarro realizes that Cappa isn’t going to tap out and lets go of the move. He then drops a couple of elbows onto Cappa’s back and locks in a Mexican Surfboard!

 

JESSE

Just look at the arsenal of submission moves that Bizarro has! It is perfect!

 

JR

I don’t know about perfect, but I cannot deny that it is impressive.

 

The ref notices that Bizarro’s shoulders are down so he goes for the count.

 

One…Two..No!!

 

Bizarro leans the move forward so that he is now in the sitting position. He then grabs a reverse chinlock on Cappa while still locking the legs in the Surfboard position thus making the move into a Romero Special. The ref once again asks Cappa if he wants to quit, but the answer is still no. Cappa starts throwing elbows into Bizarro’s side that slowly cause Bizarro to let go of the hold. Cappa lies on the mat trying to regain his breath, but Bizarro rolls him over and goes for a cover.

 

One…Two…No!!

 

Bizarro climbs to the second turnbuckle and leaps off for a Senton Splash onto Cappa’s back, but Cappa moves and Bizarro hits nothing but mat! Cappa slowly climbs to the top rope and waits for Bizarro to stand. Cappa then leaps off with a Missile Dropkick that connects, but Cappa is slow to make the cover. Once he makes the cover he hooks the leg.

 

One…Two…No!!

 

Both men make it to their feet and then lock up. Cappa gets control and hits a Spinebuster! He then pulls Bizarro by the leg to the ropes and places Bizarro’s leg on the bottom rope. Cappa then leaps up and sits down on Bizarro’s leg.

 

JR

Bizarro is focusing on Cappa’s back and Cappa is focusing on Bizarro’s knee!

 

JESSE

Both men have found a weak point and are exploiting it. See Bizarro isn’t cheating!

 

JR

What about the eye poke?

 

JESSE

That’s nothing! I can’t believe you’re worked up about that!

 

Cappa grabs Bizarro by the legs and goes for the Walls of Cappa, but Bizarro makes it to the ropes before Cappa can fully turn him over. The ref tells Cappa to back off as Bizarro stays in the ropes for protection. Cappa comes back for Bizarro as he begs off into the corner, but Cappa doesn’t fall for it. Cappa waves Bizarro to come on so Bizarro stands and runs in, but Cappa catches him with an Armdrag! Bizarro pulls himself up and comes running in again, but Cappa hits another Low Dropkick to Bizarro’s knee that causes him to fall hard to the mat and clutch his knee. Cappa quickly picks him up and goes for the Bust a Cap, but Bizarro shoves him off. As Cappa comes back Bizarro goes for a clothesline, but Cappa ducks it and goes for a Clothesline of his own. Bizarro ducks the move and Superkicks Cappa, sending him to the mat. Cover.

 

One…Two…Thre.No!!

 

Bizarro then grabs Cappa and goes for a Splash Mountain Bomb, but once he gets him up his knee goes out and Cappa easily slides off Bizarro’s back. Bizarro stands again and is blasted with The IMPACT! Cover.

 

One…Two…Thre..No!!

 

Cappa pulls Bizarro up and goes for the Bust a Cap again, but Bizarro grabs him by the head and hits a Reverse DDT! Cover.

 

One…Two…Thre..No!!

 

Bizarro then starts to lock on an Indian Deathlock, but out of nowhere Shocker appears on the apron, causing the fans to erupt. Bizarro leaves Cappa and gets in Shocker’s face. Both men yell back and forth as the ref tells Shocker to leave ringside. Bizarro shoves Shocker off the apron as Cappa sneaks up behind and rolls Bizarro up!

 

One…Two…Thr..No!!

 

Both men stand again and lock up, but Shocker gets back on the apron. In doing so Shocker distracts the ref long enough for Bizarro to hit a low blow on Cappa!

 

JR

Bah gawd not this way!

 

JESSE

What and you think Shocker being out there is fair?

 

Bizarro lifts Cappa onto his shoulders and goes for the Black Death, but Cappa slips behind him and shoves him forward. As Bizarro falls forward he accidentally knocks the ref out of the ring. Shocker seizes the moment and grabs a chair from the outside. Bizarro yells at Shocker, but Shocker just pulls back and blasts Bizarro in the head with a chair shot that sends him falling back into the ring. Shocker then helps the ref back into the ring.

 

SHOCKER

Until our match this Sunday you’re not the only one who can do what he wants bitch!

 

JESSE

What the hell?? Shocker is a deadman!

 

JR

I think he knows damn well what he’s doing!

 

Shocker leaves as Cappa pulls Bizarro to his feet and hits the Bust a Cap! Cover.

 

One…Two…Three!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JESSE

That’s not right!

 

JR

Finally someone has pinned Bizarro!

 

RING ANNOUNCER

Here’s your winner and finalist in the Revolution Tournament for Intense Zone….THE MAD CAPPA!!!!

 

(Let Me Clear My Throat plays over the speakers as Cappa slaps hands with the fans at ringside and gives Shocker a high five too. Cappa then dances for the fans as we fade out.)

Edited August 27, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[back from commercial]

 

 

JR: Well, ladies and gentlemen, the moment has arrived. It's the dream match that OAOAST fans around the world have been dying for, "Shooter" Jay Darring and Zack Malibu for the OAOAST World Title, and it's up next!

 

Jesse: It's been debated endlessly on the message boards and the chat rooms who would win a match between these two competitors, they're so evenly matched...

 

JR: Both men are world-class technical wizards, and both have big-match experience...

 

Jesse: I was referring to them being pussy-whipped idiots, but your description is fine.

 

JR: Either way, the anticipation is over! Let's head to the ring!

 

[Everything turns dark, Hotei's "Shin-Jingi Naki Tatakai" fades in over the loudspeakers, and two figures step through the curtain as blue spotlights flash throughout the arena.

 

RING ANNOUNCER:

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first the challenger, accompanied to the ring by Lauren Gellar, from Boston Masachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, he is one-half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING!

 

JR:

I smell a title change tonight Jesse. Jay Darring has waited too long and worked to hard to blow this opportunity. Every promise he's made, he's delivered on, and he's promised to bring home the gold tonight!

 

(Jay slaps hands with the fans out of habit, but he's clearly focused on his task tonight. He slowly enters the ring, and stands in the corner, Lauren whispering advice in his ear.)

 

[The arena goes dark a second time, and the opening chords of Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life" fire up over the PA. As the champion and his new valet Candie strut out from the back, GOLD PYRO~! shoots off to a loud pop!]

 

RING ANNOUNCER:

And his opponent accompanied to the ring by Candie, from Providence Rhode Island, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ZACK MALIBU!

 

Malibu, big smile on his face, slaps hands with the cheering crowd as Candie waves to her adoring fans.

 

JR:

IntenseZone is very pleased to have Candie on our show for the first time! What a BY GAWD STUNNER she is!

 

Jesse:

Candie may just be a psychological advantage...for Jay. Malibu may be focused on his new "acquisition" more than the match! We're gonna see right now if Malibu is thinking with the correct head.

 

Malibu enters the ring- only to get jumped by Jay! Jay is raining stiff forearms on Malibu against the ropes with wild abandon!

 

Jesse: We're not gonna see any of that hokey staredown crap tonight!

 

Irish whip by Jay, Malibu comes off the ropes- back body drop by Jay! Malibu lands ass first as Jay comes off the ropes with a running knee to the head!

 

JR: Almost a Shining Wizard-type move there! Cover by Jay early!

 

1!

 

2!

 

QUICK KICKOUT BY MALIBU!

 

JR: Smart strategy by Jay, strike early and strike hard- to Malibu this may be another title defense, but this is Jay's chance for nirvana!

 

Jay isn't letting up- he picks Malibu up for another irish whip, Malibu bounces off the ropes again- Jay with another back body drop- no! Malibu counters with a standing rana in mid-air! Jay pops up dazed, holding the ropes for leverage. Zack charges in, clothesline over the top rope, Jay spills to the outside!

 

JR: Zack Malibu proving why he's the the best OAOST- he recovered quickly from the initial onslaught and struck back, what ring awareness by the champ!

 

Jesse: He's not done either, he's about to go big!

 

Zack signalling for something back in the ring, he hits the ropes and charges- HE JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND CONNECTS WITH A FLYING FOREARM ON JAY TO THE OUTSIDE! AND HE LANDS ON HIS FEET!

 

JR: He vertically cleared that top rope! What an athlete!

 

Chants of "Zack! Zack! Zack!" break out as Malibu plays to the crowd. Malibu tries to whip Jay into the guardrail, Jay reverses, but Malibu jumps over the rail into the crowd! Malibu turns around, into a STIFF~! Superkick by Jay-Malibu catches the foot! He crotches Jay on the rail, and BLASTS Jay with a jumping roundhouse kick to the chest!

 

JR: Both men setting a blistering pace in the early going in the match? How long can they keep it up?

 

Jesse: This could be a critical mistake by both guys, starting quickly and blowing their load early- which I'm sure they do with their valets.

 

Malibu sends Jay back into the ring under the apron, kicking him in the back to keep the advantage. Malibu picks him up and whips Jay into the ropes again, Malibu with a roundhouse kick-ducked by Jay! Malibu turns around- met with a floating neckbreaker by Jay! Malibu gets up quickly on instinct, only to get ROCKED with a roaring elbow by Jay!

 

JR: What a shot, what a deadly shot to the face by Jay! Cover again!

 

1!

 

2!

 

KICKOUT!

JR: It's gonna take a lot more than that to put down the champion though!

 

Jesse: For the first time in I think forever, Jay is thinking smart. Go for the cover as often as possible. Doesn't matter if it's an elbowdrop or Michinoku Driver 2, as long as it gets a 3 the belt is yours!

 

Jay is undeterred by the nearfall, he quickly picks up the champion, kicks him in the gut, and picks him up for a suplex. He pumps twice, and DROPS HIM STRAIGHT ON HIS HEAD!

 

JR: The best damn brainbuster in North America by the former North American champion! Another cover!

 

1....

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

 

2.99!

 

Jesse: He SPIKED him right on his head! I can't believe that didn't get the pin!

 

JR: Zack Malibu is one of the toughest competitors in OAOAST, he's survived War Games, Casket matches, ironman matches, you're gonna have to kill him to take that belt away!

 

Jay roughly throws Malibu on his stomach, he grabs both of Malibu's arms holds them behind the champ's back and locks his hands- he turns him on his shoulders for a pin!

 

JR: Double-chickenwing rollup by the challenger! He's got him wrapped up like a pretzel!

 

1!

 

 

2.....

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Jesse: Jay Darring keeping up the aggression, but he just can't put the champ away!

 

Jay quickly grabs a double underhook as the champ struggles to his feet, he picks Malibu up, he's got him on his shoulders, and DROPS HIM WITH THE COLT 45! Jay makes a slow throat-cutting gesture, and heads to the top...

 

JR: This could be it, the fatal blow is about to be delivered!

 

Jay is perched on the top rope...Zack isn't moving...DIVING HEADBUTT!

 

 

 

MISSES!

 

JR: Jay just crashed with a sickening thud on the mat!

 

Jesse: Did you hear the cracking sound hsi skull made, I could hear it from here!

 

Malibu is back on his feet, Jay is staggering back to one knee...Malibu, with a burst of strength, charges in on Jay and CONNECTS FULL-ON WITH THE ZACK ATTACK!

 

JR: Jay's head just snapped back! Malibu goes for the pin!

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Jesse: Jay kicked out on instinct, he's on dream street right now!

 

Jay trying to get up still dazed from the Zack Attack. Zack hits him with a HARD side kick to the ribs and Jay staggers against the ropes. Irish whip by Malibu, reversed by Jay. Jay tries a clothesline, ducked by Malibu. Malibu quickly puts the breaks on, grabs Jay's head from behind- THERE'S THE TRENDSETTER!

 

JR: TRENDSETTER! TRENDSETTER, THIS COULT BE IT!

 

Malibu covers!

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

LAST-SECOND KICKOUT BY JAY!

 

JR: You want to talk about toughness-talk about what Jay has survived- the Inferno match, the No-Rope Barbed Wire match, the Cage of Death. THIS MATCH COULD GO ON ALL NIGHT!

 

Malibu picks up Jay and backs him into a corner. *THWACK* the champ LIGHTS Jay up with a STIFF chop to the chest, and another! Quick snap kick to the leg by Malibu, and he whips Jay into the corner- no! Reversed by the challenger! Malibu, quick as a cat, springs up the the second rope as Jay charges-MOONSAULT OVER JAY! HE CATCHES HIM FOR A QUEBRADA DDT!

 

 

-NO! Jay is fighting, he knees him in the head, and turns it into a reverse DDT position of his own!

 

 

EXCEPT IT'S NOT A REVERSE DDT- IT'S AN AFTERTHOUGHT!

 

JR: HE GOT HIM OUT OF NOWHERE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

 

Jesse: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

 

Jay jumps on him for the cover!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

 

 

 

NO! OUT OF NOWHERE, REJECT BLASTS HIM IN THE BACK WITH A CHAIRSHOT! THE REFEREE CALLS FOR THE BELL!

 

JR: DAMMIT! THAT BITTER SON OF A BITCH REJECT JUST COST JAY THE WORLD TITLE!

 

Reject continues his assault, NAILING Jay with the back with chairshot after chairshot! Lauren gets out of there immediately and heads to the back! Jay is totally prone, Reject sets the chair up between the turnbuckles. He picks up Jay, and FLINGS HIM INTO THAT CHAIR! THE CRASH IS HEARD THROUGHT THE BUILDING!

 

JR: This is sick, what a despicable human being Reject has turned out to be!

 

WAIT A MINUTE, HERE COMES LAUREN, ALONG WITH SHOCKER WHO'S GOT A CHAIR! Reject is to busy talking trash to notice, and Shocker NAILS Reject with a chair!

 

JR: Jay's World Tag Team Champion partner making the save for Jay!

 

Shocker pulls Reject out of the ring, and continues beating on him as they head backstage.

 

In the meantime, the referee is conferring with the announcer.

 

RING ANNOUNCER:

Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me, that this match MUST CONTINUE!

 

JR:

All right, good job ref! Ring that bell!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Jay is still out from Reject's assault, Malibu is now fully recovered from the Afterthought, he crawls over for the cover on the challenger!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

NO! SHOULDER UP!

 

JR: How did Jay do that?

 

Jesse: Oh man, a second earlier and Malibu would have retained!

 

Jay still doesn't have much strength in him. Malibu picks him up whips Jay hard into the turnbuckle. Malibu charges and CONNECTS with a bicycle kick, right to the FACE! Jay drops on all fours, Malibu picks him up and hits a quick Russian Legsweep. Cover,

 

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

HAND ON THE ROPE!

 

Jesse: I can't believe Jay had the presence of mind to do that! It's only a matter of time!

 

Malibu picks up Jay again- hooks him up for a butterfly suplex, dropping the challenger HARD on the mat! He follows up with a standing moonsault!

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Jesse: Frustration starting to show on the champion, he's gonna have to go for the kill shot NOW!

 

Malibu picks Jay up, irish whip, Malibu comes off the ropes and DRILLS Jay with a flying forearm! Jay is totally out of it, and Malibu starts signalling for School's Out!

 

JR: Well here comes that kill shot Jesse! School's Out puts everybody away.

 

The champion waiting for his prey, Jay is slowly getting to his feet! HERE COMES SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

CAUGHT BY JAY! He spins Malibu around, had kick to the leg drops the champ to one knee- SHINING BLACK BY JAY! Malibu drops like he's been shot, and Jay collapses. The referee administers the count!

 

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

3!

 

 

No signs of life yet....

 

 

4!

 

 

 

5!

 

 

 

6!

 

 

Malibu starts to get up, Jay is still down

 

7!

 

 

8!

 

 

 

9!

 

 

Malibu is on his feet, Jay slowly getting up, Malibu fires off some punches, and whips Jay into the ropes- Jay ducks a clothesline, now HE puts the brakes on! He hooks a half nelson -FORESHADOW TIME!

 

 

NO! MALIBU REVERSES! Hooks him.....

 

 

POP DROP! POP DROP! POP DROP!

 

 

JR: THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT! NOBODY ESCAPES THE POP DROP!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

 

NO! WAIT A SECOND, CALVIN SZECHSTEIN HAS COME OUT THROUGH THE CROWD AND DRILLED MALIBU WITH A PEPSI BOTTLE! The bottle SHATTERS over Malibu's head!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JR: WHAT IN THE HELL IS CALVIN DOING HERE!

 

Jesse: He's on that *other* show!

 

Calvin starts raining stiff punches down on the bloodied Malibu, and head's to the top rope!

 

Jesse: Check this out JR, you're going to be seeing this move a lot on IntenseZone, when Calvin wins the title this Sunday!

 

450 DEGREE SPLASH (formerly brought to you by Skittles) hits hard, CRUSHING Malibu's ribs!

 

Calvin continues to punch away on Malibu. Candie comes into the ring and tries to pull Calvin off, but Calvin SHOVES her to the mat!

 

JR: What a cad Calvin Szechstein is, that snake, that BAH GAWD rat bastard!

 

Jesse: She deserves it, she cost Calvin precious endorsement money! He has to feed his family somehow!

 

Finally, a team of security hits the ring, pulling Calvin off of Malibu and escorting him through the crowd, towards an exit.

 

Jesse: He may not be allowed here now JR, but get used to seeing that face, because THAT face is going to be representing our company soon!

 

JR: That would make me want to puke.

 

The referee, red-faced with anger, heads snatches the microphone.

 

REF:

I'm SICK of this bullshit! I am NOT going to allow a no-contest in this martch! This match WILL continue, and there WILL be a winner here tonight!

 

JR:

YES! YES! That's what IntenseZone delivers fans, you're gonna see a winner tonight!

 

Jesse:

As you say JR, business is about to pick up!

 

Both men are down and hurt as the bell rings...

 

Jay sits up, and slides backwards across the mat, into a corner, and uses it to pull himself up. Zack Malibu leans on the middle rope, wiping his forehead free of the blood from that bottle shot a few moments ago. Malibu stands up, and staggers back a bit when he does, as Jay breathes deeply in the corner.

 

JR:

So much taken out of these men tonight.

 

Both men take deep breaths, and come roaring out of their respective corners. Jay unleashes a stiff chop, and the fans give their traditional response. Zack cringes upon impact, but turns around and unleashes one of his own on Jay! Zack grabs Jay by the wrist, and wrenches his arm, but Jay spins towards Zack, nailing him in the jaw with an elbow shot! Darring backs the champion to the ropes, and sends him to the far side, then ducks his head for a leapfrog. Zack jumps over, but spins around quickly, cinching in a waistlock, and trying to carry Jay over. Jay fights back by sending elbows at Zack's head, and Zack finally breaks his attempt and shoves Jay to the ropes. Darring comes off, shoulderblocking Zack to the mat, and then runs the ropes again, this time hopping over Zack's body, then rebounding off the other side. When he comes for Zack this time, Malibu jumps up with a huracanrana, but Jay holds on, not floating over! He shoves Zack off, sending him flipping over, landing feet first on the mat. Zack ducks a Darring lariat and runs the ropes himself, and comes off with a beautiful flying forearm, taking Jay right off his feet! Malibu hooks the leg, and the referee is ready for the count...

 

1...

 

2...

 

NO! KICKOUT BY DARRING!

 

Jesse:

Is it just me or are they going stronger now than they did in the first place?

 

JR:

They're running on pure adrenaline right now, Jess.

 

Malibu picks Jay up, and calls for the POP Drop, grabbing a facelock and then reaching down to hook the leg. Jay won't be taken so easily, and shakes his leg free, kicking away from Zack's grip. Before Zack can hook him again, Darring carries him over with a Northern Lights Suplex, and bridges out!

 

1!

 

2!!

 

NO! NO! Malibu bridges up, and spins back around, his arms still wrapped around the former North American Champion, and he lifts him up, then PLANTS him with a Sitout Powerbomb! Zack cradles the legs, leaning his weight into the pin attempt...KICKOUT JUST BEFORE THREE!

 

Malibu is weary, as Darring is staring at the ceiling. Both men are nearing the point of exhaustion. Zack stands up, staggering a bit, before reaching down and pulling Darring up...but Darring grabs a leg, and stands up with Zack on his shoulders!

 

JR:

He was playing possum!?

 

Darring lifts Zack up, and hollers to the crowd...KT DRILLER~!...NO~! Malibu slips out behind Darring, and spins him around! Inverted atomic drop stuns Jay, and Malibu steps back, then hits SCHOOL'S OUT~! DARRING GOES DOWN!

 

Malibu virtually collapses on Darring for the pin, as the referee counts 1...2...3! NO! NO! JAY DARRING HAS REACHED OUT AND GRABBED THE BOTTOM ROPE! THE PINFALL DOES NOT COUNT!

 

JR:

I'll be DAMNED, this one is STILL GOING!

 

Zack stands up, in shock at the resiliency of his opponent. He picks him up off the mat, and scoop slams him back down to it, propping him near one of the turnbuckles. Zack steps out to the apron, and climbs to the top very slowly, the wear and tear of this contest apparent in his demeanor.

 

Malibu gets to the top, and springs off, coming down on Jay Darring with his patented Guillotine Legdrop...

 

AND IT MISSES~!

 

A mixed reaction rises from the crowd, as many bought that as the end, while others are glad that Darring still has a chance to firmly establish himself tonight. Darring pushes himself up, and as Zack is on one knee, Darring unleashes a kick that blister's Zack's chest! Fighting through the pain, Zack tries to get up, and this time is met with a kick to his left thigh, bringing him back down to one knee! Darring steps back, then charges forward, looking to boot the World Champion in the face, but Zack reaches up, and in a swift motion Dragon Screws Jay to the mat...AND JAY MANAGES TO CATCH ZACK WITH A SMALL PACKAGE~! 1! 2!!...KICKOUT! KICKOUT BY ZACK!

 

Jesse:

If these fans get any closer to the edge of their seats, they'll be sitting on the floor!

 

Both men up, and Darring tries for a lariat on Malibu, who ducks, and hooks his arm, then the other one...BACKSLIDE...NO! Darring floats over, landing in front of Malibu...LIFTS HIM UP...KT DRILLER...NO! The champion wriggles free, landing on his feet behind Darring! Jay gets spun around, and Zack grabs him in a facelock...POP Drop~!...NO! Jay drops down to his knees, trying to block the move! Zack pulls him up, reaching for the leg, but grabs the opposite leg!?...He lifts Darring up...CROSS SPECIAL POP DROP~!...

 

JAY GETS DRILLED HEADFIRST INTO THE MAT~!

 

Zack leans across Jay's sternum, weakened by the events of this match to hook a leg. The referee dives in, and slaps the canvas once...twice...THREE TIMES~!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Announcer:"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...Zack MALIBU!"

 

Zack just rolls off of Jay, laying facedown on the mat, while Darring is in his own little dreamworld after being caught with the POP Drop. The referee reclaims the title belt from the announcer, and hands it to Zack, helping him up to his feet. The crowd are rabid in their approval, not only for the victor, but for the opponent, as these men have put on a hell of a showing here tonight on IntenseZone.

 

JR: What a show of sportsmanship by both men, and they should be proud for giving their all in front of these fans. Zack Malibu once again proved that he is the greatest champion in OAOAST, and Jay Darring has proved that he really is ready for prime time.

 

Jesse: You gotta think though, that in the back of their mind they're each wondering who really is the better man. These two are gonna tangle again in the future, you can bet on that!

 

JR: And you can also bet that there's gonnna be HELL TO PAY for Reject and Calvin for their interference tonight at AngleSlam! I can't wait!

 

[Commercial]

Edited August 27, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR: Well we're ba-

 

*The AngleTron lights up with Puerto Rican Lightning's face on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL, this time of him holding the Puerto Rican Championship after a win. The crowd continues booing waiting for PRL to show up. As the AngleTron continues showing image after image of PRL, music is being played in the background. The music is slow and comatose. It's easy to listen to as violins play throughout. A man whispers the word "Chance" throughout as a heavy metal guitar begins to play. On the AngleTron, the image of PRL changes to an image of a choked up PRL. Then an angry PRL. Then a sad PRL. Finally, another smiling image, but this time in a more psychotic matter. The AngleTron switches to a Puerto Rican flag with, in big blocky letters, the words LIGHTNING CREW appear. A lightning bolt hits the stage and fog and pyro fire up. The crowd boos again as "No Chance In Hell" starts up.*

*No Chance (No Chance), that's what ya got (Ha, Ha, Ha. Yeah). *

 

JR: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!

 

Jesse: Oh yes, Jim Ross! HE'S BACK!!!

 

*As "No Chance In Hell" continues, a fog covers the entrance. The crowd boos and just as they suspect, from the fog comes each member of The Lightning Crew. First, Mr. Boricua, then Vitamin X, then Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and finally, Puerto Rican Lightning, still cocky and arrogrant as ever. He is wearing sunglasses to hide the bruises from the License To Pin match and has a band-aid over his forehead. He has a stitch on his cheek and is holding the Puerto Rican Championship around his left shoulder.*

 

JR: That's...that's! That's the Puerto Rican Championship! What the hell is Puerto Rican Lightning doing carrying the Puerto Rican Championship?! I thought "Shooter" Jay Darring retired that belt at License To Pin!

 

Jesse: Well, let's see what PRL has to say about it. I'm sure there's a rule in the Puerto Rican Championship rule-book somewhere.

 

JR: For the last time, THERE IS NO PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP RULE BOOK!

 

Jesse: Keep telling yourself that, Jim Ross.

 

*"No Chance In Hell" continues to play as The Lightning Crew make their way to the ring. PRL sneers at the crowd like he always does and enters the ring after Lindsay held the ropes for him. Lightning then does the HBK-pose while pyro goes off behind him and raises the Puerto Rican Championship to the jeers of the crowd.*

 

Jesse: Doesn't it feel great to have Puerto Rican Lightning back on IntenseZone?

 

JR: Hell no. I was starting to get use to him not being here.

 

Jesse: Enough jealously Jim! PRL is lucky to even be walking after that brutal match at License To

Pin. HE COULDN'T EVEN CONTINUE THE MATCH!!! That's how hurt he was.

 

JR: The 2 out of 3 Falls match at License To Pin was one of the most brutal OaOasT matches I have ever seen. PRL and Jay's careers were never the same after this match.

 

Jesse: But, thankfully, PRL survived and came back in just 4 WEEKS! It's a miracle, Halleujuah!

 

*The Lightning Crew are in the ring as "No Chance In Hell" dies down. The crowd, despite not seeing PRL for four weeks, pick up where they left off as they boo PRL mercilessly and begin the "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" chants immediatley. PRL just sneers as he grabs a microphone. But, before he can speak, the crowd boos even louder.*

 

Jesse: No respect. No respect at all.

 

*PRL tries to speak again, but the boos get even louder. "P.R. Sucks!" echoes throughout the arena as PRL sneers. Finally, he hands the mic over to Mr. Boricua.*

 

Mr. Boricua: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

 

*The crowd boos even louder but then quiet down as PRL laughs and finally begins to speak. He kneels down a bit, cocks his head and raises the microphone up. The crowd quiets down wondering what PRL will say.*

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Finally.....Puerto Rican Lightning...HAS COME BACK TO INTENSEZONE!!!

 

*The crowd boos and don't cheer like when The Rock saids this. PRL just smiles.*

 

Jesse: No respect. This man is a Superman!

 

JR: And I guess Mad Cappa is his kyprtonite?

 

Jesse: Let's not even go there, JR.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Hello, one and all! It is I, your hero, your role-model, your sex-symbol, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! And it is great to be back on THE wrestling promotion to be in, the alternative to the crap peddled by the OTHER federation, the OaOasT!!!

 

*The crowd boos, but some do appericate PRL's pro-OaOasT attitude.*

 

Jesse: He's right you know.

 

JR: If PRL said the sky was green, you believe him.

 

PRL: Now, I am sure all of you are wondering what the hell have I been since License To Pin a little over a month ago. Well, if you retards can remember (crowd boos) at License To Pin, I was involved in a brutal, barbaric, and gruesome 3 Stages of Hell match against "SUCKY" Jay Darring. Sadly, for my millions of Lightning Bolts, your hero did NOT walk out of LTP with the North American Title.

 

*The crowd pops.*

 

Lightning: I know, I know. I feel horrible too. Even though, I AM better than any OaOasT superstar, and I can withstand more pain than the average man, I am not perfect, and thanks to that contest, I was injured greatly. I had to spend 72 hours in a hospital bed and doctors were afraid I wouldn't wrestle ever again.

 

*The crowd actually cheers at this remark.*

 

Jesse: What is with these people?!

 

PRL sneers: But, since I am more stronger than the average man, I showed the doctors, I showed them all, I leapt out of my hospital bed and was stronger than ever. Due to my superior genectics, I was able to return 100% in just 4 weeks! And now I am back, stronger, faster, sexier than ever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

 

*The crowd boos PRL's attitude. The Lightning applaud PRL's story as though it was the greatest story ever told. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez even sheds a tear.*

 

Jesse(clapping): Such courage. Such character. Such heart. I really love PRL.

 

Lightning: So, I am here! And back with MY Puerto Rican Championship. Now, you may be wondering how I am the Champion when Jay Darring beat me for the belt and threw it in a garbage can before License To Pin. Well, I check the Puerto Rican Championship rulebook and Rule #252 states: "If the Puerto Rican Champion does not have the Puerto Rican Championship in his/her possesion for more than 24 hours, he/she has vacated the belt and the belt must return to the person that had the belt before the person that has the belt now had it." So, after the day after the IZ before License To Pin, Mr. Boricua grabbed the Puerto Rican Championship and handed it back to me. So in layman's terms for all you uneducated pieces of white trash: I AM THE NEW PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!!!!

 

*The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua helps Puerto Rican put the Puerto Rican Championship over his waist. PRL models the belt for the crowd who boo him even more. Vitamin X grabs the microphone.*

 

Vitamin X: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the NEW Puerto Rican Champion, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!

 

JR: Someone should check that Puerto Rican Championship rulebook. I have a funny feeling there isn't even a rulebook.

 

Jesse: What the hell makes you said that, Jim Ross? A rule is a rule. Besides, PRL is the best damn Puerto Rican Champion there ever was and there ever will be.

 

JR: HE'S THE ONLY PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION THERE EVER WAS!!!

 

Jesse: HA! You're wrong! Jay Darring won the belt at Great Angle Bash!

 

JR: BAW GAWD~! You're right.

 

Jesse: HA! HA! HA!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: To paraphase an old saying: "Puerto Rican Lightning Is In The OaOasT And All Is Right With The World." And yes, I am back to continue my mission of entertaining you miserable pieces of crap. To continue giving you joy in your otherwise patheic, boring lives. To make your days great. To give you ladies wet dreams and some of you guys. To bring some life into this dark, dank, and lifeless show. To breathe life into IntenseZone once again! To entertain you each and every Monday night so that you won't have to watch that OTHER show called Held...something or another. IZ is a sinking ship, but PRL is here to save the day like I always have! This is IntenseZone where PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING RULES!!!

 

*The crowd boos again. Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Vitamin X all cheer. "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL sneers and continues.*

 

Lightning: It seems as though the OaOasT has a pay-per-view coming up this Sunday. It's called AngleSlam 2: Screams of No Reply and it's supposeldy the OaOasT's biggest show of the summer. Well, how can a show be big...if Puerto Rican Lightning isn't on it? So, tonight I am offically throwing my hat into AngleSlam 2 this Sunday and I will do by proving to you all my dominace in this company. At AngleSlam, I will issue an open challenge to any and all OaOast "Superstars" to take me on in a 10 minute match for MY (points to belt) Puerto Rican Championship. If any of you are able to pin me in those 10 minutes, I will award you the Puerto Rican Championship. HOWEVER! If I surive those 10 minutes without getting pin, I will STILL be the Puerto Rican Champion.

 

*The crowd boos. PRL looks like he is thinking of something and then speaks.*

 

PRL: I just thought of something. AngleSlam 2 is going to take place on an airforce carrier right? Well, lets take this up a notch. The open challenge is also for members of the United States Navy also! If any of America's best can beat me, they will become Puerto Rican Champion. Lets see if you Navy guys are as tough as you claim to be. 10 minutes. That's all that stands between you adding a Championship Belt, the MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPIONSHIP BELT IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, in your mantle between all your Navy medals or whatever you guys have. Be prepare, just because you defend the United States of America. Just because you don't have any wrestling training. I will NOT go easy on you. I will look at you and I will see an OaOasT wrestler. I will look at you, regardless of position, I will look at you like you are wrestler. When I see one of you Navy guys, I will see....The Mad Cappa.

 

Jesse: Uh-oh. PRL hasn't forgotten about him.

 

*The crowd cheers as PRL removes the belt from his waist and removes his sunglasses. The bruises are quite visible as PRL looks straight into the camera with evil in his eyes.*

 

PRL: Mad CRAPPA. So, you are back. I guess I shouldn't have been easy on you the last time we met. Make no mistake, I DAMN sure haven't forgotten about you. When I saw your return on IZ a few weeks back, my blood boiled and I broke the T.V. I STILL HATE YOU and I will not rest until you are gone from the OaOasT or one of us is dead. Make no mistake, this little rivavlrly we got going isn't over and you will NEVER take the Puerto Rican Championship away from me! NEVER! I will die with this belt buried with me and there is NO CHANCE IN HELL you will ever be the Puerto Rican Champion. Mad Cappa, what I did before was just a taste of what will happen the next time we meet. The injury I gave you, that was just a sample of the P.R. Nightmare you will suffer the next time we face-off. The Mad Cappa, I will make sure you suffer. I will make sure you bleed. I will make sure I see the pain and the fear in your eyes. I will make sure you will never forget the name of Puerto Rican Lightning!!! Thank you and goodnight!

 

*"No Chance In Hell" starts up again as the crowd boos some more. The "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" chants continue as PRL raises the Puerto Rican Championship for the world to see. The Lightning Crew exit the ring as PRL raises the belt one more time.*

 

JR: Some harsh words of warning from Puerto Rican Lightning to The Mad Cappa.

 

Jesse: Words of warning, Cappa should follow, Jim Ross. He doesn't want to go through what the Lightning Crew put him through again.

 

JR: I believe Cappa has alot of courage coming back but still, he better be careful about his crushed layrnx.

 

Jesse: Believe me, Puerto Rican Lightning will DESTROY The Mad Cappa the next time they meet.

 

JR: Since when did you become PRL's personal cheerleader?

 

Jesse: I am the only one in this company that actually respects PRL.

 

JR: Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa are back and business will surely pick up soon. I can't wait for the day the two meet face-to-face one-on-one in the ring for that Puerto Rican Championship.

 

Jesse: PRL will beat Cappa.

 

JR: WIll you stop?! And folks as you heard, PRL has issued an Open Challenge to any and all OaOasT superstars and members of the United States Navy to take him on in a 10 Minute Match for the Puerto Rican Championship. Which OaOasT Superstars will accept the challenge and which Navy Men will have the courage to take on PRL. How can PRL do this?

 

Jesse: He can beat anyone.

 

JR: Will you stop?! Folks, AngleSlam has gotten even hotter! Up next, your main event for the North American title! Don't miss a minute!

 

[Commercial]

Edited August 27, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[Returned...once more.]

 

JR:

Fans, we have just received word that GameDust is apparently NOT in the building tonight, nobody knows where the hell he is, this is NOT a scripted part of the show, but we will guarantee one thing tonight- you WILL see a North American Title match tonight, that's for damn sure!

 

[Cue: "Trans Magic"]

 

Jesse: And here comes our "illustrious" North American champion to address the situation.

 

K-NESS:

When I came to OAOAST, after destroying the best in the world overseas, I expected a challenge! And since I've won this belt, what have I gotten- a bunch of FUCKING PUSSIES! It seems like everybody is scared to step up to the plate and face the only legit tough guy on IZ. So I AM NOT LEAVING THIS RING, UNTIL SOMEONE COMES OUT AND CHALLENGES ME FOR THIS TITLE!

 

JR: K-NESS prides himself on being a fighting champion, and GameDust's no-show has him in a bad, bad mood.

 

Jesse: It looks like we're getting our North American title match, but against who?

 

["Loser" by Beck hits over the PA]

 

Ring announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest in scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST North American Championship!, in the ring, from Snittlesburgh, Iowa weighting 213 pounds, Jim Mcneil!

 

JR: Jim McNeil! Folks this young man has signed an OAOAST contract a little over two weeks ago and has been doing so well in our farm league Alabama Hills Wrasslin'. It looks like he got impatient and is gonna get his tryout against the ever-dangerous K-NESS!

 

Jesse: Poor Jim has no idea what's coming at him...

 

K-NESS removes the black towel from around his neck, shakes McNeil's hand and the match is ON~!.

 

* Ding Ding Ding*

 

Collar and elbow tie-up to start, K-NESS seems to be getting, McNeil's gets a Hammerlock, but it is reversed by K-NESS into another Hammerlock, another reversal and McNeil hits a Drop Toe Hold!, he follows with a Front Facelock, K-NESS tries to make it to the ropes, but all he can do is slowly get up, Northern Lights Suplex!!!

 

1..

 

2..

 

McNeil kicks out!!!

 

Both guys are down, but K-NESS get up first, he picks Jim up, runs into the ropes, RUNNING ELB... NO!!!, McNeil catches him with a dropkick!

 

JR:What a maneuver by the young man!

 

Jesse:It's that kind of stuff that's going to make K-NESS loose confidence and help Jim McNeil get closer to a victory and the North American title.

 

McNeil picks K-NESS up, throws him into the corner,he throws a right hand, and another!, Irish Whip to the opposite corner!, RUNNING CLOTHESLINE by McNeil!!

 

JR: K-NESS is in big trouble here, he has to do something right now!

 

McNeil covers...

 

ONE!...

 

TWO!...

 

 

 

 

2.9! K-NESS kicks out!

 

McNeil drags K-NESS to his feet and goes for a right hand, but K-NESS blocks, Forearm to head, and another!, and ANOTHER! as the crowd cheers for their champion. Irish Whip by K-NESS, WESTERN LARIATOOOOO!!!!

 

JR: Good GAWD all mighty!!!, he just ripped that poor rookie's head off!

 

K-NESS turns his opponent over and slaps on the DRAGON SLEEPAH~!!!, McNeil won't tap!, he's about to pass out from the pain when he FINALLY reaches the bottom rope. K-NESS picks him up, knee to the gut, HIGH-ANGLE EXPLODER!!!!, K-NESS picks him up again, ANOTHER High-Angle Explodah!!

 

JR: That's it, he's dead.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

* Ding Ding Ding*

 

Winner: K-NESS via pinfall at 5:21

 

JR: Well, Jim McNeil tried as hard as he could but the North American Champion was just too much for him. For Jesse "The Body" Ventura, I'm Jim Ross, what a night it's been on IntenseZone!

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

CREDITS:

 

Producer:

ShooterJay

 

Contributing Writers:

Zack Malibu

LaParkaYourCar

Mystery Eskimo

ShooterJay

Michael Joel Benoit

KanadianKrusty