The Dish From The Mish!

[Guest Mishmow]

I'm Mishmow. If any of you go to ewadditions.com you may be firmiliar with my column. Well, I'd like to put it here to see what you all think. Here it is, the most recent Dish from the Mish:

 

 

Hey hey, it’s time for your favorite column! The Dish from The Mish. I’ve got a lot to discuss today, and I can debut the mailbag! Of course, I still want e-mails, people, so keep on pressing that “send” button. [/lame joke] Anyways, you should definitely check out all of the other columns here at EWA. RMZ never fails to entertain, and brad_ratm is proving to be quite a hit. Also, be sure to see what Vulgar sees in his Visions. BaRush also has a column coming soon, which should be great....If only we had Wrestling Flashback return then all would be swell. Oh, Joey’s Mad Raw Thoughts, too (don’t think I forgot my Mfer!) Anyway, be sure to read Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Brad’s Backlash, Vulgar’s Visions and, of course, The Dish from the Mish. Also, don’t be afraid to sign up for Fantasy WWE...It should be a real blast! And, finally, be prepared for awesomeness as Alexius and I stir up a concoction so great, it’ll have you all wanting to superkick me!

 

Let’s get started.....

 

This week’s non-wrestling focus is a preview of the next title in the SmackDown series, Here Comes the Pain. I’ve always been a big fan of Smackdown, starting from the first. They’ve really mastered the art of making a wrestling game that sells. With their arcade style, mixed with some cool gimmick matches, the entertainment never ceased. This new title looks to only improve things, and is coming soon.

 

There are some new features that will blow your minds away. The Elimination Chamber will make its debut onto a video game, as will the Bra and Panties match. The latter is not very exciting, unless polygonal women are your thing....There’s a new legends mode, that should serve us long time viewers well, and the roster is completely updated, with exceptions of Spanky, La Resistance, Molly, Nidia and Noble. We can always create them. One element being implemented into this game is a surprising one. After being shunned the previous four titles, blood has finally dripped its way into a Smackdown game. However, it wont be dripping in the game itself. It will merely be red on someone’s face, which is still better than nothing. The season mode has been completely revamped, but not much information has been released about it. The gameplay has improved, also, with newly animated moves, specific body part damage, a more complex reversal system (no more continuously pressing square!) and a brand new submission system. In this new submission system, it will be a tug of war race to the ropes, which will put on some great multiplayer contests between Benoit and Angle. The body specific damage should be interesting. It will add a realistic view, but will perhaps be too easy to take advantage of, such as winning with a scoop slam when the torso meter is red. Anyway, I’m really optimistic about this game, in spite of the absence of Spanky, and I’ll do a review on it after it comes out.

 

Wow...Onto the Raw Thoughts.

 

 

After last weeks mediocre performance, Raw was looking to produce a good show, banking off of the cage match between RVD and Kane. Unfortunately, this match was boring as hell. The crowd were dead for most of the match, and Kane repeatedly did one spot with RVD, that being ramming him into the cage. They did one of those every thirty seconds. When the cage broke, we all new this match was going to end up as a complete train wreck. Side note: JR and King continuously went on about how menacing Kane’s act on RVD during the break was. Kane rammed RVD into the cage. He had already done that six times whilst inside the cage! I wasn’t sure as to why they were making such a big deal out of it. Anyway, Kane won with a messy chokeslam from the ropes.

 

Bischoff then comes out to announce two really boring matches for Unforgiven. Shane vs Kane and Al Snow & Coach vs JR and King for the spot of head announcers on Raw, which is just a modification of the scheduled JR vs Coach. Then he makes Goldberg and ????? ????? vs Triple H and ??? ?????

 

Storm gets a morale boost from Goldust, and goes out to face Rico. No boring chants, and a few Rico sucks chants, instigated by Goldust himself. Lance wins after a pretty sweet missile dropkick. However, I wont even comment on his celebration....

 

Trips asks Bischoff who his partners are....Gee, I wonder!

 

Trish and Jackie vs Gail Kim and Molly. This is the same as last weeks match, but Ivory has been replaced with Jackie. When are they going to do something new?

 

Austin comes out for the State of Raw address. I wish they would have one of those in the writers’ offices. He makes HHH vs Goldberg No DQ, which means Randy Orton and Ric Flair are going to interfere, Goldberg’s going to recover from a beating and make mincemeat out of the two, and Jackhammer Trips to win the title. Then he says he want to beat people up. Then Christian comes out. He puts himself over as a heel, and Jericho hints a realistic face turn, which get’s him a HUGE reaction, of course, but turns back heel to talk about Austin. Then they share beers, and all is well until Jericho pats Austin on the back, allowing Austin to give Jericho a stunner, which delights the crowd.

 

The ten man tag match was original, but not done well. A bunch of brawling off of camera, and no real psychology from either team. The finish was Mark Henry powerslamming Bubba. Then there’s a sickening bump taken by Spike. I’m so glad he’s ok, because that move had botch written all over it. La Resistance will still remain tag champs, however. Damn frogs...

 

A tables match is made for the PPV

 

Triple H runs his mouth about Goldberg while, not so discretely advertising YJ Stinger.

 

Shane pointlessly appears on the tron. He speaks for a few seconds, but Bischoff interrupts and makes Shane’s match against Kane a Last Man Standing match. It still wont be good....

 

Molly and Gail plan to destroy Trish forever. I guess they ARE moving forward with this....

 

Are Test and Steiner EVER going to end this feud???? Steiner defeats Richards easily, but Test sets a match for himself and Steiner at the PPV. The stipulation? If Test wins, he gets to do Stacy in front of Steiner. If he loses, Steiner gets Stacy. WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT UNFORGIVEN!?

 

Ugh.

 

Coach and Al Snow go to the ring and paste JR’s face on various things. Funny how Benoit is the only one who can make this gag look funny. He really can put ANYTHING over. Anyway, JR gets angry so he and King clear the ring. I’m still not excited for their match....

 

Main Event - Goldberg and ????? ????? vs Triple H and ??? ?????

Randy Orton Ric Flair

 

I knew it! Terrible match, which led to a DQ. 3 on 1 results, as Goldberg is once again beaten to a pulp. Good for Evolution. Then, Goldberg COMPLETELY botches a Pedigree, so they redo the spot. Goldberg critics should be having a field day....

 

Overall, a terrible show. A lame attempt at a parody of the State of the union address, and horrible matches, which completely fail to build up a PPV that is going to suck anyway. I hate to be so harsh, but everything I say here is true. Who botches a Pedigree that badly? Really, guys, you could be doing a lot better. I want the Rock back.....

 

Well, Smackdown was cut to ninety minutes this week, and judging by Raw, this is a good thing. Well, let’s see how they did....

 

 

After last weeks horrific ending, people were eagre to see the aftermath. They were also looking for an actual main event without a “Russo finish.”

 

Rey Mysterio and Kidman vs Tajiri and Nunzio was a very entertaining fiasco. The WWE’s doing all the right things with the cruiserweight division. Match went well, and was finished by a sick looking stiff kick onto Rey by Tajiri. This match was only about 5 minutes. Much too short.

 

Zach Gowen’s dead? Vince and Brock are in the office until Steph comes in for a confrontation. She says Brock is a criminal and a liability. So have him arrested, idiot. Noooo, wouldn’t want to do that. Anyway, He says he wants to face someone in preparation for the iron man match. Vince says that he’s faced everyone except Steph. So it’s Brock vs Steph, but if Steph refuses to fight, she will be stripped of her position as GM. Suspenseful...

 

The women have a squabble against Shaniqua. Dawn fights Shaniqua, but is quickly beaten up. Torrie and Nidia come down to help Dawn. Useless mess.

 

Sable tells Steph that if she resigns, Sable would be more than happy to take her place. Wow. That was a ridiculous segment.

 

 

Benoit fought Rhyno in a bout, which was very good. Lots of offence for the two, and nothing was messed up. A-Train comes out to throw Benoit into a pole, but that’s all he did so I’m not bothered. You see, some people can handle A-Train if he’s only on for a few seconds. Anyway, Benoit get’s the crossface in for the victory. Good ten minutes of building they’re feud with this match. Bring Heyman in and you’ve got a world class rivalry, with a probable great payoff match....

 

Bruce is really cool. He makes the APA watchable. Matt and Shannon play poker with the APA, and Matt remarks on the poor treatment of Bruce. Of course, they ruined the joke by explaining that Matt mistreats Shannon. We’re supposed to figure it out ourselves, boys....

 

The Latino Street Fight was one of the more entertaining matches I’ve seen in a long while. Lots of shenanigans, mixed with good wrestling and the return of Chavito. Lying, cheating and stealing his way to the top, Eddie wins with a frog splash onto Cena on the car! Impressive.

 

The APA squash one of the stars that the WWE needs to keep safe and over. Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me...Bad booking here, but one heck of a clothesline.

 

Here we go for the main event. We’ve all been waiting for a decent main event without, as I said before, a “Russo finish,” but alas we are disappointed once more. Steph low blows both Brock and Vince, but is taken anyway. Captain Kurt makes the save to end the show.

 

For the time they had to work with, Smackdown was pretty good this week. The Latino Street Fight is a must see for originality, and Benoit vs Rhyno was good. The main event kinda blew, but it doesn’t matter because everyone else on the show put in a tremendous effort. Keep it up, Smackdown!

 

 

Goldbe....Um.

 

 

This weeks focus is on the human hype machine, Goldberg. When he first started in WCW in 1997, he was a monster who could defeat anyone. The bookers wanted him to go straight to the top, and had a great way to push him there. With some great entrance music, and wonderful in ring presence and appearance, Goldberg squashed jobber after jobber to build a win streak. Eventually, he started to face more over workers, and squashed them all. During his win streak, he was able to capture the US title from Raven, and defeat the entire flock. Eventually he won the World Heavyweight title from Hulk Hogan, a huge victory. After that he defended the title successfully for many months until Kevin Nash took it from him to end the winning streak at 173. He went on to feud with the nWo for a long time, and was established as one of the biggest names in the buisness.

 

He was injured, and it was presumed that he’d never come back to the ring. He did in 2000, and was quickly re-established. His momentum was at a high, but he was not picked up by the WWE when WCW was bought out, which killed his morale. He started to get cocky and arrogant, and would badmouth the business. He was never a great wrestler in the first place, so the IWC didn’t look at him very sympathetically. Then, the unthinkable happened. In 2003, Bill Goldberg was signed by World Wrestling Entertainment. With a terrific looking finisher, and a big name, the WWE figured he’d go right over with the crowd. After all, being able to do two moves well is impressive for a main eventer today.

 

He was brought in to feud with the Rock. The Rock was playing heel, but because the Rock is such a great heel that the people cheer, the plan with Goldberg backfired. After numerous attempts to get him over, he was booed during his match with Rocky. After, the WWE took it down a notch, a surprisingly smart move by the bookers. He squashed midcarders, most notably Christian, until he was over. This worked. The crowd were chanting for Goldberg, and erupted when he appeared. With a new attire and new music, Goldberg was revamped into a WWE superstar. Unfortunately, this just boosted his ego. He now thinks he’s better than anyone else, and is very defiant in the way he is booked. He wont put anyone over, and can’t make anyone look good due to his lack of ability. He is now feuding with Triple H, and is going to take the title from him at Unforgiven. Sure, we’ll have an over champion, but soon people will realize Goldberg isn’t who they think he is when they see him wrestle more and more. I am quite pessimistic about this move to make him champion, but that’s the way it’s going to go. Right now, Goldberg is the greatest force in the WWE, and he’s here to stay...At least until Wrestlemania.

 

Well, there’s Goldberg for ya, let’s get to the newest addition to the Dish, Mish’s Mailbag!

 

 

Welcome to the mailbag, where you send in e-mails, and I answer them. Simple as that! Send e-mails to [email protected] and you will be featured in the Dish from the Mish!

 

Only one e-mail this week....

 

E-mail from “Fan of EWR”

 

hey this is cool i guess i mite be the first in your mail bag so i w ont talk long wat do you think of a column following a single wrestler every thing he does every match he has we4ll let me no

 

Great to hear you like the column! Yes, you are the first one to be in the mailbag. I think your idea is a good one, but I don’t have the time to do something like that. I do cover wrestlers in the main focus, but I couldn’t follow one guy. If you were to carry out your idea, that would be great! If not, you can always sign up for Fantasy WWE, where you’ll be able to follow your wrestler and keep track of stats.

 

Well, that’s the only e-mail this week. I really hope to hear from you guys! Onto the Top Ten!

 

 

This weeks top ten will be on the ten best booking decisions of this millennium!

 

10. The 1 cent PPV by NWA-TNA - This was a remarkable decision, which really impressed me. People had a cheap and easy way to see the magnificence of TNA, and got to see two fantastic matches. It recapped recent happenings, and could well widen the audience. Good job, guys!

 

9. Invasion - One of the most anticipated events in wrestling of all time. Only number nine because it failed miserably....

 

8. Kane’s Unmasking - Yes, this is bigger than the nWo because nothing horrific has happened, and this does not involve X-Pac, Nash, Hogan, Hall, Savage or Sting. Kane is now able to breath and show emotion in matches, and looks more menacing than ever. He’s a very effective heel, and should be champion within a few months.

 

7. Hulkamania returns - Definitely a big move. Hogan went over huge, and had a huge following. He entertained viewers and crowds alike. He didn’t help the ratings, though....

 

6. TLC/Elimination Chamber - Two gimmick matches that have been highly entertaining. TLC was a HUGE hit, and the Elimination Chamber is really up and coming. Great ideas.

 

5. The current Raw GM situation - With hugely over Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff, Raw now has a heel face owner situation. They both provide entertainment, and we’re all waiting to see how this concludes. Definitely a great move.

 

4. The push of Kurt Angle - To me, Kurt is God. He is one of wrestling’s greatest members. He can wrestle like no one else, make other’s look good both in the ring and out, and can play both heel or face magnificently. He is a master on the mic, and is a well known name. There are only great things to come for Kurt, as he prepares to almost single-handedly bring up Cena and others to main event.

 

3. The McMahon Helmsley Era - A great situation where Trips and Steph seized power after alignment. They played the heel dictatorship angle brilliantly, and this era saw Triple H finalize his status as THE man of the business. The only thing more important than Triple H finalizing his status is....

 

2. The Triple H vs Mick Foley saga - In the beginning of 2000, Triple H feuded with Mick Foley in one of the greatest moves in booking of all time. They put each other over wonderfully, and at Royal Rumble, produced a ***** match to really get em going. Then, Mick Foley did something great as he brought back Cactus Jack for one last run. They feuded and feuded until No Way Out, where it was Title vs Career in a Hell in a Cell match, which once again went to *****. One of Foley’s greatest, this match epitomized retirement match. This feud saw Triple H become THE man of the business, and saw Mick Foley retire in one of the greatest ways possible.

 

Finally, the greatest booking decision of this millennium....

 

1. Wrestlemania X-7 - My favorite Pay-Per-View of all time, this event saw so many meaningful happenings. The debut of Wrestlemania Axxxcess, and some timeless build up being payed off well. We saw RTC get clothelined to hell, Jericho and Regal putting on a decent effort, Raven being allowed to go at it with names like Big Show and Kane, The Radicalz taking out Test, Benoit vs Angle in a match most have forgotten about, but a great match nonetheless, Shane and Vince put on an amazing psychological bout, TLC 2, Triple H taking Undertaker to his greatest match, the old timers battle royale, and finally, Steve Austin making his infamous heel turn in his own state, destroying Rock while allying with Vince. Awesome show, best booking ever....

 

And that’s it. The Dish From The Mish comes to a close once again. Opinions and feedback would be most appreciated, and an e-mail would make me ecstatic. [email protected], don’t forget! Anyway, I’m Mishmow, I’ll see you next week, but until then, you’ve just had !