Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted September 21, 2003 On the box: Captain Scarlet In the player: Predator SE Heavy rotation: Foreign Objects Sore thumbs: F-Zero Hello everybody. Yep, old Jay is getting tardy with his posting again. I hate to sound like a cop out, but there really is something of great, pressing importance going on right now, and unfortunately it’s having a knock-on effect on stuff like my work here. I’m really, really sorry for that, and hopefully in a week or two things will have resolved themselves. Hey, it sucks for me too, not being able to get online much dammit, it’s been nearly TWO WEEKS since I bought anything off eBay, and I’ve got free money sitting in my PayPal account just waiting to be spent. I’m seriously getting withdrawal symptoms sometimes I close my eyes at night, and I can see search terms like “Criterion DVD” and “HIM CD” and “ECW DVD” typing themselves into the little box, and then navigating through pages and pages of glorious Buy It Now items. Man, if it weren’t my Six Month Anniversary (come on, you know how it is) this weekend, I’d probably be in trouble. You might have noticed I finally got around to posting my Viewtiful Joe review last week… but since it disappeared off the front page after just a day, you probably won’t have. It’s partly my own damn fault for taking so long to post the damn thing, and it’s partly Vince McMahon’s fault for making me so disinterested in wrestling that I completely forgot that there was a PPV at the weekend, but nonetheless the review got lost in the Vengeance shuffle. I’m not going to lie that I’m a little pissed off that no-one will have seen the thing, but like I said it’s partly my own damn fault admittedly, I was largely busy with other endeavours last week too, and it was an important wrestling weekend for the site anyway, so priorities are priorities. I’m hoping to get some proper screen grabs done this week or next, and then I’ll pin the article so people can actually read it I’ve had a few good pieces of feedback for it (with someone reading that, then reading my Action Replay review and deciding to buy both), so I think it deserves to be seen. Aaaaanyway, I’m not bitter, honest. Here’s something. I was watching the Shawn Michaels DVD and figured, “You know what, I might just write a review of this,” since the Keithster hadn’t put one up, and I don’t think I’ve even seen any others online. Sure enough, he made it pretty clear that he wasn’t all that eager to do one, since he’d already reviewed all the matches on the set. So since I’ve never covered any of them, I thought that this would be a good opportunity to do some more wrestling play-by-play (which, as you may or may not care to remember, is how I got my start online), so I sat down with the DVD and my laptop. Since my AWA history is non-existent, I skipped the first (Midnight Rockers vs Buddy Rose & Doug Summers) match. Since the Mania X ladder match is one of the most famous in wrestling, I skipped that bad boy too. Which left me with the Mania XII Iron Man match against Bret. Over a few hours, I produced five pages (!!) of play-by-play and took an assload of screenshots. I read through the thing afterwards, and then figured I’d zip on over to 411 and see what Scott thought of the match. OH. MY. GOD. That’s when it hit me. The 10-minute breakdowns. The ALL CAPS EXCLAMATIONS! The move calling. I’ve become such a Scott Keith clone it isn’t even funny. Seriously go read my raw, unedited (but fully screen-shotted) writeup of the match, then go and read Scott’s rant: Jay's play-by-play Scott Keith's rant Scary. I swear to God that I’ve never even read his rant of the show before, but I’ve been emulating his style so perfectly that I’ve got the exact beats down pat, and I even laid out the play-by-play the same and CAPITALISED! the same phrases. So I’m gonna stop after that one match and leave it as is it’s just too upsetting. Go and enjoy it while you can. Anyone interested in Hong Kong Legends DVDs and/or Bruce Lee movies should head on over to the thread “Question for Jay (DVD) Spree” in the Movies/DVD , as there’s now a wealth of information there that I’m sure will be of interest to the folks who email me asking “What’s this HKL stuff?” So, plugs and excuses out of the way, let’s HIT THE CONTENT~! WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK A couple of RED HOT purchases, but not a whole lot else besides that. Daredevil’s out this week, but then it’s been out in Region 2 for a while so I’ve already saved some money there. To be honest, the one movie EVERYONE should buy is Versus. How can I explain… well, it’s pretty much a Japanese Evil Dead with some of the very, very best Hong Kong-style action sequences. How does that sound? The disc is out in about three flavours: single-disc theatrical, two-disc Director’s Cut, and two-disc Special Edition. It’s the Special Edition you want, so go get that bad boy. The Basketball Diaries is a great flick with early, Hey I Can Still Act Leonardo DiCaprio. Did it ever occur to anyone else that Leo and Natalie Portman’s career trajectories are pretty much the same? Both debuted with real powerhouse performances as child actors (Gilbert Grape and Leon respectively), then went on to do progressively shittier performances before totally selling out and “going Hollywood”? Just a thought. Of course, American Pie 1 & 2 along with the two Beneath The Crust bonus discs are out in a super-cynical way to cash-in on American Wedding’s theatrical release. Of course, you get a rebate for a ticket to go and see AW at the theatre, so if you and your girl don’t already own the DVDs and you both want to go, you could do worse than pick them up. But really, you should learn some common sense and wait until the American Legacy or whatever dumbass name they’ll give it is released in Trilogy form over the holidays. Solaris was a great movie that just suffered from bizarre mis-marketing, and anyone not expecting an action romp through space might actually enjoy it. Piglet’s Big Movie is a good one for da kidz, and Joe 90 The Complete Series is a good one for all the 50-year-olds who are sane enough to remember being kidz. Aside from those… can you say “fuck all”? Digital Versatile Dick Well, there might not be a lot on the regular platter, but those of you who enjoyed Jason Castleman's latest column should have a couple of discs to snack on. For your entrée, I would recommend the pathetic, yet deliciously-titled Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat, and for your main course, the chef’s special of the day, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter should really hit the spot. ROMANS AND ASIANS AND POLACKS OH MY! Did you know that Roman Polanski was a student of Bruce Lee? Neat, huh? Neater than that, Anchor Bay UK are putting together a Roman Polanski Collection boxset, due for an August 25th release at £40 (about $60, I guess). It’ll include three Polanski flicks, Knife in the Water, Repulsion and Cul-de-Sac, with a bonus disc exclusive to the boxset that features eight Polanski short films. I know nothing about Polanski (aside from the aforementioned Bruce Lee trivia), so I’m just going to go ahead and shamelessly cut & paste the specs for you good people: Disc 1: Knife in the Water Original 4:3 full frame version Optional DTS Audio Optional Dolby Digital 5.1 Audio A Ticket to the West - An all-new featurette Theatrical Trailer Liner Notes Talent Bios Poster and Stills Gallery Collector's Booklet Disc 2: Repulsion Widescreen Presentation Enhanced for 16x9 TVs Optional DTS Audio Optional Dolby Digital 5.1 Audio Audio Commentary with Roman Polanski and Catherine Deneuve A British Horror Film - An all-new featurette Theatrical Trailer Original Script Extracts Original Drawings by Art Director Seamus Flannery Eye and Brain (audio) by Professor Richard Gregory Liner Notes Talent Bios Poster and Stills Gallery Collector's Booklet Disc 3: Cul-de-Sac Widescreen Presentation Enhanced for 16x9 TVs Optional DTS Audio Optional Dolby Digital 5.1 Audio Two Gangsters and an Island - An all-new featurette Theatrical Trailer Liner Notes Talent Bios Poster and Stills Gallery Collector's Booklet Disc 4: Early Shorts Teethful Smile (Usmiech zebiczny, 1957) A Murderer (Morderstwo, 1957) Two Men and a Wardrobe (Dwaj ludzie z szafa, 1958) Lamp, The (Lampa, 1959) When Angels Fall (Gdy spadaja anioly, 1959) Fat and the Lean, The (Gruby i chudy, 1961) Mammals, The (Ssaki, 1962) Let's Break the Ball (Rozbijemy zabawe, 1957) In addition, the good folk at the DVD Times gleaned the following info from the Anchor Bay UK forums: They will be using Roman Polanski's own subtitle translation for Knife in the Water The new video interview found on the forthcoming Criterion release of Knife in the Water will also be present on the Anchor Bay disc They have the Criterion laserdisc audio commentary with Roman Polanski and Catherine Deneuve on Repulsion So there you have it Polish movie goodness for all you fans of high-brow cinema who wouldn’t piss on the rest of us if we were ablaze. Thanks again to the DVD Times massive. FINDING NAMOR Yikes, here’s more stuff that I hate doing mindless regurgitating of specs for an upcoming release. Luckily though, it’s for a Pixar film, so I don’t mind doing it because they freaking rule. Yes, from our favourite kung-fu movie butchers Beuna Vista comes a typically awesome-looking Collector’s Edition of Finding Nemo, due for a November 4th street date. In addition to a choice of anamorphic magnificence or full screen crappiness, you’ll have gorgeous 5.1 EX sound as well as the following: Disc One (Widescreen): Big Boy's Extras Filmmakers' Visual Commentary (Including Deleted Scenes And Recording Sessions): Take a trip through the evolution of Finding Nemo as Pixar's Writer/Director Andrew Stanton, Co-Director Lee Unkrich and Co-Writer Bob Peterson provide revealing commentary on the film's challenges, wrong turns, and unexpected surprises. Making Nemo: A Special Documentary: A documentary filmmaker worked alongside Pixar Executive Producer John Lasseter, Writer/Director Andrew Stanton and the Pixar team to reveal the making of Finding Nemo. Go inside the studio and meet the people at Pixar who brought Finding Nemo to life. Learn about the challenges they faced designing and animating characters without arms and legs, how they created a believable underwater experience, and struggled to build a world as vast as the ocean itself. With a little mariachi music, an "Ugly Contest" and a lot of determination, see how the team finally brought Finding Nemo to the big screen. Review The Art Of Nemo (Narrated By The Artists Themselves): Listen in as Pixar artists guide you through a collection of the stunning pre-production artwork that inspired Finding Nemo's final computer-generated imagery. Virtual Aquariums: Let the world of Finding Nemo come to life, as you turn your TV into your own aquarium of beautiful, animated environments from the movie. Theatrical Trailers "The Incredibles" Sneak Peak Disc Two (Fullscreen): A Voyage of Family Fun Exploring The Reef With Jean-Michel Cousteau - a New Original Short Film! In this original short film, created exclusively for the DVD, world-renowned undersea explorer Jean-Michel Cousteau takes us on a dive into Australia's Great Barrier Reef, the real-life setting for Finding Nemo. All he wants to do is finish his documentary, but things get complicated by the surprise appearance of Dory, Marlin, and Nemo. Learning Fun Encyclopedia: Nemo's very own teacher guides you through an encyclopedia that comes to life! Learn all about the real fish that inspired the characters of Finding Nemo. Discover The Classic Pixar Animation Studios Short Film Knick Knack: Imagine being a snowman trapped in a snow-globe. Now imagine you're surrounded by knick-knacks from "Sunny Miami," "Sunny Palm Springs" and even "Sunny Death Valley." You'd want out, but how to do it? Watch this hilarious story of frustration created by the Pixar team with early CGI technology. As a bonus feature, learn about the first days of computer animation with commentary from Director John Lasseter and Technical Director Eben Ostby. Play "Fisharades": Crush hosts a game of underwater charades with your favorite school of fish. As they form shapes, it's your chance to guess what they are before they finish. This game lets you play alone, or with another player! Grab The Kids for Storytime: Enjoy an all-new, read-along adventure with Nemo. Meet all his fun teachers as he spends a day at school. Pixar Animation Studios: Made especially for "future animators," and hosted by the voice of Nemo, Alexander Gould, this hilarious behind-the-scenes tour journeys from story department to screening room and everywhere in-between! Virtual Aquariums: Wish you had a fish tank like the dentist? Well stop wishing! Turn your TV into an aquarium populated by Gill, Bloat, Peach, Nemo and the rest of the tank gang. You know the most awesome thing about this set? Finally having Knick Knack on DVD. I don’t know if they’ve already done it and I’ve just missed it or what, but Pixar should really release all of their short movies as a collection on DVD, with commentaries and featurettes and all the rest. They’ve done enough one-hour TV specials on how Pixar was formed, the advancement of CGI, Pixar-Disney collaborations and so on that they could throw those on there too. It just sucks to be watching a six year-old VHS of these great little films when I could have them in shiny, anamorphic DVD form. Anyhoo, the DVD’s gonna rock, and Pixar kick ass. Thanks again to the DVD Times for cribbing of specs. HA HA, AIRBRUSH MAKEUP FOR YOU Sorry, that’s kind of mean. I just find it REALLY amusing that High Definition TV has got Hollywood starlets literally quaking in their boots, and the makeup industry is pumping millions of dollars into new application techniques to hide the imperfections on stars’ faces. And I’ll tell you something else: everyone is saying “ooh, how great Demi Moore looks”, but you know what? With $50k worth of botox and a bunch of fitness and diet therapists, I could look like that too. “Oh, she’s doing such a great thing, representing women at 40!” If she wants to REALLY represent women at 40, she should do what Jamie Lee Curtis did and do a photoshoot without makeup, all wrinkly-faced and saggy-titted. Anyway, that travesty of a movie franchise will see its latest instalment, Charlie’s Angles: Full Throttle hit stores on October 31st. It’ll be available in Rated and Unrated flavours, and although no specs have yet been announced, don’t get too excited about the Unrated edition from what I’ve heard, it just includes a little extra fight footage that was chopped to get a lower rating. According to the press release, the DVD will include “a telestrator commentary by McG, which gives a play-by-play dissection of specific scenes, Cameo-Graphy to test viewer’s knowledge of all of the A-list celebrity appearances and Pink’s music video, ‘Feel Good Time’ featuring William Orbit.” Oh yeah, I’m SO THERE. Whatever. A potentially cool extra that’s being rumoured at the moment is that the girls will have some sort of pyjama party where they’ll watch the movie and do a commentary track together. Well, if that pyjama party breaks down into an all-lesbian frenzy, then sure, they’d sell millions of copies. But it won’t, so I’ll continue my indifference. LONG JOHN HOLMES ON DVD Oh wait, it’s John HUGES, my bad. In any case, September 2nd is a date to jot down for all you ‘80s kids who want to take a trip down memory lane (to be honest, I wouldn’t bother just about everything from the eighties just looks HORRIBLE these days). Sixteen Candles and Weird Science will be “available on DVD for the first time with their original theatrical soundtracks,” which despite reinstating the awful ‘80s “music” of Kajagoogoo, Oingo Bongo and Billy Idol, fans will consider a good thing. The Breakfast Club will also hit stores on the same day in some sort of remastered form. Each flick will be in anamorphic widescreen with DTS tracks, and you can pick them up for $20 a pop or the (shudder) High School Reunion Box Set for $40. I can practically see Kevin Smith’s jizz on the computer screen. Cheers to those whacked-out party people at IGN. And that’s a wrap for me. I’m going to crawl into my pit and try to recover from this write-about-DVD-but-buy-no-DVD madness. If you’ve got something to say, hit me with an email. Failing that, take care and I’ll see you in seven. And remember: EN-GER IZ MORE YOOS-FUL DAN DES-PAAYER~! Peace. Jay Read my archives, biatch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
