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[Guest Suicide King]

since I've become an announcer, people have been getting minor details about me wrong, such as that the King is married.  This is untrue.  Here, to help facilitate your proper reverence of the King of Hearts, are my stats.   Note:  This is not a license to use me to interfere in a match, or even to lay hands upon me in a promo.  I will announce and interview if needed, but if you so much as touch me I will unretire just long enough to anally rape you at a WF PPV.  Are we clear on this?

 

 

Smarks Boards Name: Suicide King

Wrestlers Name: the Suicide King (Nicknames include the King of Hearts, the Gambling Man, and the Heartbreaker)

Height: 6 ft tall.

Weight: 224 lbs

Hometown: Dayton, Ohio

Age: 23

Face/Heel: Heel (take Shawn Michaels/DDP/Million Dollar Man... cowardly, desperate, vain, cunning, willing to do anything to win Memphis heel. Will beg for his life. Is intelligent.)

Weapon(s): the Ace of Clubs, a black wooden baseball bat

 

Quotes: "That, you can bet on."

"Don't you know that a King always beats a Jackass?"

"Are you a gambling man?"

 

Looks:

ring attire: Very much like Jerry Lynn, but slightly more clean-cut. Pretty boy, black vest, no shirt, long blond hair, short chin beard. Black tights with images of bright red broken hearts all over them. Tattoo of (you guessed it) the King of Hearts on his right shoulder. Black boots on his feet.

actual person: Built like a gymnast, prefers to wear polo shirts and jeans outside of the ring, normally with his overcoat. Wears hair untied out of the ring.

 

Ring Entrance: The arena goes dark as the voice of Ozzy Ozborne screams out, "ALL ABOARD!! AH HAH HAH HAH!!" The stage suddenly explodes as a wall of crimson pyro shoots skyward, deafening and blinding those closest. When the pyro finishes the wailing guitar chords of Ozzy Ozborne's "Crazy Train" pick up in volume and the Suicide King is revealed, posing cockily as the crowds pours their derision on him (and a few desperate women cheer madly). Smirking in disdain he makes his way down to the ring, strutting like he is the single greatest thing since sliced bread. Making his way to ringside, he jumps up to stand on the ring apron and moves provocatively between the ropes Once inside the ring the Suicide King circles the ropes, making sure that everyone in attendance gets a good, long look at the most talented, entertaining, and handsome man in wrestling today. The men swear, the women squeal, and the IGNWF collects another fortune in merchandising... the Suicide King casually brushes the hair out of his eyes and waits for his unworthy opponent.

 

Stats:

Strength: 3

Speed: 6

Vitality: 5

Charisma: 6

 

Style: Small striker/grappler with high-flying ability. Is craven and cunning, cocky and vain. Bad at submissions overall.

 

Signature moves:

10) Low Blow

9) "Heartbreaker" shotei (palm strike to opponent's chest, staggers them and knocks the breath out of them long enough to get off a big move)

8) ¾ Headlock on opponent, run up the turnbuckles and flip over opponent, driving them in to the mat with a Diving Reverse DDT.  It’s called a Shinobi in Smackdown 3.

7) Diving Reverse DDT

6) Reverse DDT onto knee

5) Hurricanrana

4) Top rope Superfly Splash

3) Dragon Sleeper

2) Superkick

1) Drop Toe Hold (often into the ropes or turnbuckle)

 

Un-common moves:

1) Pumphandle Drop/Backbreaker

2) Dropkick

3) Eye Gouge/Thumb to the Eye

4) Bulldog

5) Missile Dropkick

6) Arm Wrench and Ax Kick to Shoulder/Straight Sidekick to Armpit

7) Irish Whip to High Knee (like HHH's)

8) Handspring stunner - off of Irish whip, forward handstand to bounce off of ropes, bounce back and grab opponent in 3/4 headlock for stunner)

9) Concealed foreign object shot (you know, roll of quarters in the tights, that sort of thing)

 

Rare moves:

1) Pumphandle Low Blow

2) 450

3) Suicide Plancha

4) Tornado Bulldog, corner-assisted

5) Kneelift to Bulldog

6) Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker (only able to do it to cruiserweights)

7) Victory Roll

8) Springboard Hangman (jump on ropes, grab opponent's head on way down, snap it off ropes, land outside)

 

 

Finishers:

1. (Favorite and preferred) Jokers Wild: Half Nelson Forward Russian Leg Sweep. For example, I stand to my opponent's left, take his left arm and pull it out with my left arm, put his right arm up in a half nelson with my right arm, and then sweep him forward face first into the ground. For my worst enemies only, once on the ground I maintain the half nelson and place the opponent's free arm in a leg scissors, then reach my free arm across his throat, creating a leg scissor kataha-jime (Tazzmission). Very nasty submission move that is maintained until chokeout... call it the Suicide Squeeze. Not like you'll ever write it though, since it always wins.  

2. Ante Up - exactly like a Blockbuster, but opponent faces opposite direction so it ends in a Diamond Cutter rather than a Neckbreaker. Sort of a Diamond Dust, but you have to dive for it first. I really only use this if the situation presents itself because it is so easily countered by nearly anything. A top rope forward somersault Diamond Cutter.

[Guest Ace309]

Ye gods. I make two weeks' worth of jokes about Edwin nailing Suicide King's wife, and this is the thanks I get.

 

Wait a minute, that didn't make any sense.

[Guest Suicide King]

They were great jokes too Flesher... ceratinly good enough for me to meet you at the next PPV for some good old hillfolk squeal-like-a-pig lovin'!!!!