Introducing jl personalities and staff!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Well, I've been meaning to do this for a while, ever since Ced brought the idea up to me about a week ago.  He said, "Edwin, you're really awesome!" and I said "Well, duh!"  But lo, this was just an in into conversation!  The mighty Ordonez mentioned a woe of his: that it was getting kinda boring to write "the referee does this, the referee does that," and that it'd be neat if we had some established referees that people could use in matches if they wanted.  So, without further adieu, a list of SJL personalities for your benefit.  Use them if you want, or just stick to the generics, but here are some people that are on the SJL payroll.

 

Ring announcer

The one, the only, Funyon.  It's as simple as that folks.  Booming voice, fashion sense, and that's all you need to know.

 

Commentators

Axis - Your requisite face play-by-play man.  Big, Australian, and prone to getting locked in sheds--I mean, erm, strike that last one.

 

Edwin MacPhisto - Your face color commentator, SJL Commissioner, and loony!  British, leader of the Midnight Carnival, and loopy up the wazoo.  

 

Suicide King - Boo!  Hiss!  Vain, arrogant heel!  Once a good guy, now an egotistical cocky whiner!  Past history with Edwin!  They battle!  Whee-oo!  King is all purpose heel commentator!  Whee-oo!

 

Interviewers

The only official guy is the one and only Ben Hardy!  Former wrestler from way back in the day.  Heels, feel free to clobber him as necessary.  Faces, you can too, if deemed appropriate!  Ben Hardy = lovable tool.

 

Referees!

And here's where the new stuff is!  I've concocted four different refs to be used if you guys want to.  Remember, generic refs are fine, but you can use them for a little sense of history if you want.

 

Matthew Kivell - He's the jobber you all crush in your dark matches, and he's a ref!  Woo!

 

Anthony Michael Hall (credit: GOdrea) - You know him as dorky 'Brian' from The Breakfast Club...but he can count a pinfall, too!

 

Eddy Long (credit: Suicide King) - Rar!  The evil referee, though if any of you start angles involving referees, I'll job you for life.  Another name for you to throw around!

 

Sexton Hardcastle (credit: Sexton Hardcastle, aka Soul Assassin, aka Adrenaline, aka ass-head 9000) - He's an even bigger tool than Ben Hardy!  A JL wrestler from years back who sucked harder than a Saigon whore taking the chrome off a doorknob.

 

And, uh, that's all I've got for now.  Basically, this is just so you guys can use some names for referees instead of generic terms, if you want.  No obligation, but it might be a nice little refresher for some of you.

 

/edwin

[Guest hhh6294]

EDWIN!!!!

 

YOU...

 

 

...uuh... ...line?

 

*~*Some dude whispers into Jake's Eear*~*

 

...oh yeah...

 

*~*Ahem*~*

 

RULE!!!!!

 

[Guest Suicide King]

We should have that one jobber be a ref too.  What was his name?  Oh yeah... GOLDENEYE!!!!

[Guest Shawn]

Just try and remember not to have any 10-counts with Anthony... I doubt he can count that high.

 

::Shawn hits the Crossface Chicken Wing Suplex on Ben Hardy::

[Guest redbaron51]

What???

 

No Stone Froze Jack Houston?!???!!??

 

WHERE'S THE DAMN JUSTICE!?!?!?!?!?!?

 

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

And, for all ye curious, the stats of the one and only Ben Hardy... wheeeee...

 

Name: Ben Hardy

IGN Name: benh16

Height: 5 foot 9 inches.

Weight: 164 Lb

Hometown: Mansfield, England

Face/Heel: Err..both. Like Hardcore Holly.

Stable: Me and gorgeuos George, we're open to applicants.

Escort: GG of course

Ring Entrance: 'Temptation' by VAST

Walks out with GG and does a Austin style stand on turnbuckle. just 2 though not all 4

Style: Old-school/technical / chairshot lover

Favorite Moves:

1. Northern Lights Suplex

2. DDT - Gangrel Impaler style

3. Belly To Back Flip/Suplex

4. Snap vertical Suplex

5. Sharpshooter

6. German Suplex

7. Tiger Bomb

8. Senton Somersault

9. S.T.F

10.Hurricanrana

Finisher: Cradle Piledriver

 

Strengh: 4

Speed: 6

Vitality: 4

Charisma: 6

 

Sweet list, Edwin.

 

-Mike Van Siclen... check out the Die Hard page!  Die Hard!

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

There was one female interviewer called Rebecca Nikolai that both me and MVS used in two mini-feud promos. She popped up later in an SJL promo of mine. I needed a woman interviewer that could be sexually harassed.

 

Typical dumb blonde, equate to Lillian Garcia but even more of an airhead. Use her if you want.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Add Kevin Cole to the backstage interviewers list. I made him up a couple years ago, and if you think really hard you can figure out where I inspired his name from. Hint, he was almost called Michael Kelly...

 

Cole can also be used as a part time announcer for the "syndicated shows", like they do with Chris Leary and Bruce Pritchard over at the pros.

[Guest Insanityman]

You own Edwin! Heh, good idea for this.

[Guest]

Who's the commishioner? How about a female... the Ripper hates them!

[Guest Shawn]

The commish is none other than Edwin MacPhistooooooooooooooooooooooooo himself!

 

Indeed.

[Guest TheSatanicAngel]

I keep tellin' y'all to bring me back as commissioner.  That month in the JL RULED!

 

[/end Christianess]

[Guest CED Ordonez]

::does the nWo point at Edwin::

Proof that the JLCC is open for suggestions.

::makes an on-the-fly "EDWIN ownz j00" sign::

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

But wait! There's more!

 

Referees (Part 2)

 

Timmy Thompson (credit Ash Ketchum)- Ummmm... I haven't used him in a while...so I forgot what he looks like. But I'll get back to you on that, K?

 

Brian Hebner (credit Ash Ketchum)- Earl's little nephew. Anything else you need to know?

 

Interviewers (Part 2)

 

Eric Seel (credit Ash Ketchum)-Looks EXACTLY like Johnny Coachman, but he's 6'6", about 300 lbs, and has an afro.

 

Backstage Peeps

 

Mr. Nagasaki (credit Ash Ketchum)- Formerly known as Pikachu, this former manager of Ash Ketchum is known for his tasering of Ash's opponents more than his wrestling. Looks like Random Task f/Austin Powers, except with short spiked hair and a little less weight. Also a member of the SJL Japan board of directors (SJL Japan being the company that takes care of all SJL Japanese promotions, TV coverage and the like). Randomly pops in promos and matches.

 

::I WORSHIP SATAN::

 

Edit: GET OUT OF MY HEAD, THOTH!!!!! AAAAAAHHH!!

 

Spanish Ring Announcers (Edit: Just In Case You Have a Spanish Announcers' Table In Your Match

 

El Luchador Magnifico(credit Ash Ketchum for using last time)- Just hop over to the SWF board's Stats Thread to check out everyone's favorite LEGAL Mexican immigrant.

 

The Unnamed Guy(credit Ash Ketchum)- He's the guy from the soccer games who yells "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!". I'll find his name later.

 

Add Kevin Cole to the backstage interviewers list. I made him up a couple years ago, and if you think really hard you can figure out where I inspired his name from. Hint, he was almost called Michael Kelly...

 

Holy Caesar Salad... help us...

[Guest crusen86]

We have enough. There is no Spanish table.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

We have enough. There is no Spanish table.

I know... but I slammed someone through the Spanish announcers table once (was it at Code Red? I forget) and I needed Spanish announcers.

[Guest]

Here are some add-ons to it. Tell me if ya like em Edwin!

 

'Ring Announcers'

1. Funyon

2. Clair (Cutthroat's Wife)

 

 

'Ring Officials'

1. Funyon/Clair/Referees/Camera Crew/etc.

2. Charlie Ohera- Holds the ring bell

3. K.J.- Tecnacal Support (Pryos, lights, music, etc.)  

4. Harry Manyon- ring manager.

 

 

'Commentators'

1. Axis

2. Edwin MacPhisto

3. Suicide King

4. Special Guest Commentators

 

 

'Interviewers/Camera Crew'

1. Ben Hardy

2. Kevin Cole- Tod deKindes used him in his promo, and Edwin said it was okay to us him from now on.

1. Joey Bink- He holds the caera.

2. Ted Lozowski- hlods the lights and mic.  

 

 

'Referees'

1. Mark Hebner- I would lek to use Mark Hebner insted of someone else.

2. Johnny Generic

3. Matthew Kivell

4. Eddy Long

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Might as well add somebody:

 

Backstage Person/Referee:

 

"K.J." (Kyosuke Jose) Sanchez: (Credit: Ced Ordonez) 5'7 and 150 pounds. A half-Mexican, half-Japanese guy in his late 20's. He's in charge of scouting for talents in (where else?) Japan and Mexico on behalf of the SJL. He has a bunch of employees under him, so he usually sends them out so he's able to stay with the main crew most of the time.

When he has nothing else to do, he'll use the free time to referee matches. He's a by-the-book ref and extremely hard nosed when it comes to obeying the rules. However, he's very lecherous, and he drops the ball badly whenever a babe of a valet happens to bounce onto the apron.

[Guest]

Yeah, I'll add KJ to my list. He can be a 'Ring Official' I gues.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Erm, you guys really took this idea and ran with it.

 

Try to, uh, not go overboard.  They're just names, dudes.  Don't overdo it.  You'll probably never need most of this stuff.

[Guest Ace309]

Geez, and here I've just been using the names of other guys I referee freestyle and Greco with.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Erm, you guys really took this idea and ran with it.

 

Try to, uh, not go overboard.  They're just names, dudes.  Don't overdo it.  You'll probably never need most of this stuff.

Right on, Eddie Mac.

[Guest Suicide King]

Well, I'll be the wet blanket.

 

STOP!

 

We have enough.  Edwin's are fine!  Who the hell knows the names of the goddamn cameramen in the WWF?  Stop this pointless shit, and start writing promos if you have this much free time!  Dammit!

[Guest hhh6294]

I refuse to beleive that GoldenEye is no more than a jobber ref now... he should be at least some dweeb that stands around telling people what to do... oh wait... that job is taken...

 

 

...MuAhAhAhAhAhAhAhA...

[Guest]

So can we use the other people like Clair?

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

If you oh-so desperately want to, whatever.  I'm saying that it'll make a lot more sense to just stick to the regular guys I posted, unless you have something really special planned.  It's up to you, but really, don't put too much time into thinking about this.  Write promos instead of creating people to ask you questions in them, and write matches instead of inventing more referees and announcers.

 

The end.

[Guest crusen86]

Ok, I'll be the prick.

 

DON'T FUCKING USE ANYONE OTHER THAN WHAT EDWIN POSTED.

 

Done.

[Guest Thoth]

Shut up, Kirtaner.

[Guest]

How about we use the Spanish Announce Tables for PPVs? I mean, since some of us LIKE to use DA PLUNDA, maybe los mexicanos pueden let us use their tables, for our destructive needs and aspirations.

 

And by the way, All your belts are belong to T-Bone (well, maybe someday), and Edwin owns ALL j00! Even me...

[Guest ErekT2k]

You are all weird and you should be banned for one week for adding so many staff members.

 

I, for one, like using the words "the referee" and "the official". Let this be a lesson to the people who put their own staff in (looks at Cutthroat, Flexxx, Ash, and some others).

 

4 Shame!!!