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Smartmarks Fake Baseball League

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Well, I am pleased with the addition of Eric LeBeau to our team. Pitchers seem to have a longer development time in this league, so I think this pick is more for next year than this year. But with our team, we need to rebuild and this is a good first step. Ideally, we get the type of performance that Ben Dover provided to his team in his rookie year, a 150-200 inning eating pitcher who can give us a chance to win some games.

 

Next year, when we are in a better position to contend, we need to draft a speed leadoff hitter.

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Next year, when we are in a better position to contend, we need to draft a speed leadoff hitter.

*cough* Speed of two.

 

Hit average total of three.

 

Hit homer total of three.

 

I think Edward James (or rather, Eddy J as he's preferred to be called) will do nicely for you guys should he get drafted by your team.

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Guest Evolution

SFBL 2006

 

East-West Conference

 

Clerks Are Back In The Playoffs

 

It wasn’t easy, but the New Jersey Clerks managed to hold off the Baltimore Crime Spree down the stretch for the second time in three seasons by a mere one-game margin as the Clerks won the East Division Title. The Clerks finished 86-76, the ‘Spree 85-77, much like 2004, which featured the same finish. The rest of the divison featured sub-.500 teams, including an abysmal 98-loss Philadelphia Freedom team.

 

Team W L PCT GB

New Jersey 86 76 .531 -

Baltimore 85 77 .525 1.0

New York 76 86 .469 10.0

Boston 72 90 .444 14.0

Philadelphia 64 98 .395 22.0

 

New Jersey Clerks:

Last Year: 75-87, 3rd place in the East

Star Hitters: Wilford Linn (.310, 15 HR, 110 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Juan Pearson (19-8, 3.44 ERA, 240 Ks), Dewayne Bouldin (38 saves, 2.77 ERA)

What Went Right: The Clerks could put the bat on the ball with a 2nd-ranked team batting average, and their opponents couldn’t put the bat on the ball with a top 5 opponent batting average of .253. Wilford Linn remains a big part of the Clerks’ offense, especially since Tommy Springs’ retirement. Also, the pitching staff is taking a turn for the better.

What Went Wrong: The retirement of Springs caused a gap in the offense, which was already mediocre. Nothing really improved with the Clerks, but it certainly helped that they were in a weak division.

 

Baltimore Crime Spree:

Last Year: 84-78, 2nd place in the East

Star Hitters: Abel Ortiz (.292, 27 HR, 109 RBI), J.C. Morello (.284, 32 HR, 93 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Ben "Pistol" Eastin (24-7, 2.73 ERA, 255 Ks), Robert Cowan (13-9, 3.35 ERA)

What Went Right: The Crime Spree hit plenty of balls out of the park (179), but the real story was the pitching, featuring Eastin, who won the Rocket Wrist Award, and a solid bullpen that gave the Crime Spree the lowest team ERA in the league.

What Went Wrong: For what the Crime Spree could hit out of the park, they couldn’t hit much else, as they had the lowest team batting average in the league. Also, they didn’t score enough runs in the long run, only scoring 746, good enough for 18th in the league as a team. The pitching staff doesn’t need work, it’s the hitting that needs to be checked.

 

New York Bums

Last Year: 97-65, 1st place in the East, League Champions

Star Hitters: Valentin Rivera (.267, 35 HR, 123 RBI), Clement Nations (.340, 24 HR, 100 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Randy Delong (18-11, 3.25 ERA), Russell Gray (17-8, 3.65 ERA)

What Went Right: The Bums can still hit the ball, mostly thanks to Clement Nations almost capturing yet another batting title. Also, Randy Delong and Russell Gray are a great 1-2 punch for any starting rotation.

What Went Wrong: Uhh...a whole lot. Rivera’s batting average absolutely plummeted, and there was very little run support for the god awful pitching staff, with a team ERA of 4.71, 14th in the league.

 

Boston Tea Baggers:

Last Year: 63-99, 5th place in the East

Star Hitters: Sergio Santana (.271, 40 HR, 103 RBI), William Allen (.236, 31 HR, 105 RBI)

Star Pitchers: None

What Went Right: Sergio Santana and William Allen both turned in solid years, once again.

What Went Wrong: Note to Tea Baggers: Get a pitching staff. Also, getting some players that can hit the ball might help, as William Allen was second in total homeruns on the team, but also second in total strikeouts. Yikes.

 

Philadelphia Freedom:

Last Year: 69-93, 4th place in the East

Star Hitters: Ramon Merino (.296, 18 HR, 85 RBI)

Star Pitchers: None

What Went Right: Ramon Merino is holding his own for the offense.

What Went Wrong: How much time do you have? John Hanes almost repeated his 20-loss season performance from last year, and the team finished last (or damn close) in a lot of categories, including team homeruns (19th), runs scored (19th), team ERA (20th), opponent batting average (20th), runs allowed (20th). There’s a good reason why they lost 98 games.

 

Old News: Jokers Win Again In West

 

The Jokers have made it a three-peat of going to the SFBL playoffs, as they captured the West division with a 99-63 record with the only competition being the Denver Douchebags, who finished in 2nd place once again this year. Unfortunately, the Jokers fell short of 100 victories once again.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Las Vegas 99 63 .611 -

Denver 92 70 .568 7.0

Phoenix 80 82 .494 19.0

Seattle 80 82 .494 19.0

Los Angeles 76 86 .469 23.0

 

Las Vegas Jokers:

Last Year: 99-63, 1st place in the West

Star Hitters: Christopher Silveira (.277, 26 HR, 105 RBI), Lino Saenz (.284, 43 HR, 106 RBI), Ronnie Desrochers (.217, 43 HR, 118 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Phillip McGee (22-6, 2.72 ERA, 276 Ks), James Ellis (16-12, 3.84 ERA), Jeremy Bremer (42 saves, 4.59 ERA)

What Went Right: The 2nd most productive team and the 2nd best team in terms of keeping other teams non-productive, the Jokers have certainly earned their place atop the West Division.

What Went Wrong: The team can’t take walks (536 team walks, 15th among the teams).

 

Denver Douchebags:

Last Year: 88-74, 2nd place in the West

Star Hitters: Jeffrey Goodloe (.243, 31 HR, 111 RBI), Jason Orozco (.291, 28 HR, 100 RBI), Luis Amezcua (.335, 27 HR, 100 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Dexter Garnica (19-11, 4.02 ERA)

What Went Right: The offense remains productive with 4 players with 100 RBI or more, and the bullpen was solid.

What Went Wrong: The pitching staff, once again, lacked the substance to compete with the Jokers’ stellar stuff on the mound. Better luck next year, Douchebags.

 

Phoenix Ashes:

Last Year: 81-81, 4th place in the West

Star Hitters: Shiro Suzuki (.343, 26 HR, 113 RBI), Quentin Brown (.313, 25 HR, 113 RBI), Randall Merz (.277, 20 HR, 106 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Mathew Carey (41 saves, 2.66 ERA)

What Went Right: Suzuki won the batting title in the EW conference, and Quentin Brown and Randall Merz also put up good numbers for the Ashes.

What Went Wrong: The starting pitching just isn’t there: Despite three 10+ game winners, they are 10+ game losers as well. A shining bullpen is the diamond in the rough for the Ashes, as Randall Merz isn’t getting anymore talented anytime soon, the offense might be riding on Shiro and Quentin’s shoulders.

 

Seattle Frasiers:

Last Year: 82-80, 3rd place in the West

Star Hitters: Keith Cooperman (.297, 28 HR, 100 RBI), Ramon Doriva (.269, 21 HR, 102 RBI)

Star Pitchers: John Gunderson (16-14, 4.32 ERA), Claudio Galaviz (16-9, 3.29 ERA, 215 Ks)

What Went Right: The offense was pretty good, and the pitching staff is showing glimmers of promise. Also, the Frasiers are the fastest team in the league, mostly due to the addition of Freeman Hostetter (74 stolen bases) in the offseason.

What Went Wrong: John Gunderson is showing signs of slipping up, and he’s not getting a whole lot of run support.

TSM Player: Giant Gonzalez (6-3, 4.46 ERA) only started when he was in the major leagues, starting 14 games in the minors as well, going 3-3 with a 2.66 ERA.

 

Los Angeles Glory Holes:

Last Year: 72-90, 5th place in the West

Star Hitters: Gordon Mingo (.270, 29 HR, 83 RBI), Robert Reiley (.299, 15 HR, 83 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Sergio Sarabia (16-12, 2.86 ERA), Saul Abad (14-13, 3.05 ERA)

What Went Right: The pitching staff is getting better and better as time goes on: #2 in team ERA, and 3rd in runs allowed

What Went Wrong: The hitting is getting worse and worse. They are the least productive team in the league, scoring only 676 runs in 162 games, an average of 4.2 runs per game.

 

North-South Conference

 

Vasectomy Back In The Saddle for the North

 

After finishing a disappointing third last season, the Vasectomy have bounced back after a slow start to begin 2006, capturing the North Division Title with a 88-74. The Chicago Transit Authority stumbled after the All-Star break, but still managed to finish a respectable 4 games behind the Vasectomy.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Vancouver 88 74 .543 -

Chicago 84 78 .519 4.0

Indianapolis 83 79 .512 5.0

Detroit 81 81 .500 7.0

Columbus 79 83 .488 9.0

 

Vancouver Vasectomy:

Last Year: 80-82, 3rd place in the North

Star Hitters: Robert Mendell (.278, 39 HR, 129 RBI), R.J. Frost (.312, 28 HR, 96 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Tito Aquino (17-13, 4.08 ERA), Arthur Kriebel (14-11, 4.28 ERA)

What Went Right: Robert Mendell put up All-Star numbers alongside R.J. Frost, who was gold once again for the Vasectomy.

What Went Wrong: David Charboneau was lost for the season in early May, and was replaced by Leo Stephenson, who didn’t get the job done in Charboneau’s absence. Also, the Vasectomy are having trouble scoring runs and getting the bat on the ball. The pitchi

Edited by Evolution

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Damn, Caldwell (31 HR, 103 RBI, 187 hits, .307/.360/.530) had a stellar year. I'm also happy that I put alot of his attributes into future success.

 

 

 

Keep up the good work, Evo.

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Guest Evolution

NEW JERSEY CLERKS VS LAS VEGAS JOKERS

2006 EAST-WEST CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP

 

Las Vegas is looking for revenge on the Clerks after their defeat two years ago.

 

GAME 1 - Christopher Silveira singles home Christopher Wiltz, and Gary Sites doubles home Silveira and Richard Nickel in a 3-run 5th inning for the Jokers. Meanwhile, James Ellis carries a no-hitter into the 7th inning, when he coughs up a leadoff homerun to Joel Ramirez. However, two more runs in the bottom of the 8th sealed the deal for the Jokers in Game 1.

 

W - James Ellis (7.2 IP, 2 HA, 1 ER, 13 Ks)

L - Jerry Hooley (7.1 IP, 10 HA, 5 ER, 6 Ks)

Player of the Game - James Ellis (3 walks)

 

GAME 2 - The good pitching of the Jokers continues, and so does the offense. Seven of the starting 9 in the Jokers' batting lineup score at least one RBI as Las Vegas destroys the Clerks 12-1.

 

W - Phillip McGee (8.2 IP, 5 HA, 1 ER, 5 Ks)

L - Juan Pearson (1.1 IP, 6 HA, 7 ER, 3 BB)

Player of the Game - Gary Sites (3-for-4, 3 RBI, 2 R, BB)

 

GAME 3 - The series travels to New Jersey, but nothing changes. Less than stellar pitching this time around, but the offense of the Jokers more than makes up for it in a 15-3 wallop of the Clerks.

 

W - James Rosales (6.2 IP, 6 HA, 3 ER, 6 Ks)

L - Thomas Nino (3 IP, 6 HA, 5 ER)

Player of the Game - Lino Saenz (2-for-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI, BB)

 

GAME 4 - The Jokers are thinking a four-game sweep as ace James Ellis returns to the mound against Jerry Hooley. However, the fates are reversed, as Joel Ramirez' triple and Wilford Linn's single bring home two runs for the Clerks in the bottom of the 6th, putting them up for the lead for good, as the final score is 3-2 Clerks.

 

W - Jerry Hooley (1-1, 8 IP, 5 HA, 2 ER, 9 Ks)

L - James Ellis (1-1, 7.1 IP, 8 HA, 3 ER, 5 Ks)

S - Dewayne Bouldin - (1 IP, 0 HA, 0 ER)

Player of the Game - Jerry Hooley (2 walks)

 

GAME 5 - The Clerks avoided the sweep, but they couldn't avoid Phillip McGee.

 

McGee pitched a two-hitter, walking only one batter and throwing only 99 pitches en route to a series-clinching victory over the Clerks 3-0. Ronnie Desrochers provided all of the offense for the Jokers, hitting two homeruns and driving in three runs as Juan Pearson once again couldn't hold up in the postseason.

 

W - Phillip McGee (2-0, 9 IP, 2 HA, 0 ER, 6 Ks)

L - Juan Pearson (0-2, 7.2 IP, 2 HA, 2 ER, 7 Ks)

Player of the Game - Phillip McGee

 

The EWCS MVP is none other than Phillip McGee, who pitched 17 2/3 innings of work, earning two wins while giving up only 7 hits, 1 run, and striking out 11. Honorable mention goes to Lino Saenz and Ronnie Desrochers, who drove in a combined 15 runs and hit 6 longballs.

 

VANCOUVER VASECTOMY VS MEMPHIS EELS

2006 NORTH-SOUTH CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP

 

Memphis are newcomers to the playoff scene this year, and the Vasectomy are looking to do better this year in the postseason.

 

GAME 1 - Bottom of the 9th, and Memphis is down 4-3. With two outs, Jeff Jetton steps up to the plate.

 

Home. Run.

 

4-4 tie, and the game goes to extra innings. Memphis comes up in the bottom of the 10th, and with two runners in scoring position, William Gerson, who had gone hitless in all four previous at-bats, hits a walk-off 3-run homerun off Enrique Orozco, as Memphis steals Game 1 from under the nose of the Vasectomy.

 

W - Eddie Frisby (1-0)

L - Enrique Orozco (0-1)

Player of the Game - William Gerson (1-for-5, HR, 3 RBI)

 

GAME 2 - Bottom of the 9th: Tito Aquino has pitched a fine game, with the score 4-1 Vancouver and 3 outs away from victory. The lead looks safe...until Thomas Reynolds hits a leadoff double. In comes Enrique Orozco to shut the door...and he promptly gives up a two-run homerun to the very next batter in Chris French. Vancouver fans are sweating bullets as David Melendez singles down the right field line. Gary Newbill comes on to pinch run, and through sacrifices is able to get to third. Pinch hitter comes up as the go-ahead run...and grounds out to the first baseman.

 

W - Tito Aquino (8 IP, 5 HA, 2 ER, 4 Ks)

L - Tracy Charland (6.2 IP, 6 HA, 2 ER, 3 BB)

S - Enrique Orozco (1 IP, 2 HA, 1 ER)

Player of the Game - Tito Aquino (1-0)

 

GAME 3 - Vancouver gets a postseason visit, with the series tied up at one game a piece. Unfortunately, the home crowd does absolutely nothing for the Vasectomy. Thomas Reynolds hits a career-high 5 RBI, including a grand slam in the top of the 6th inning as the Eels bury Vancouver 11-1. R.J. Frost keeps the Vasectomy from being shutout with a solo homerun. The Vasectomy commit 3 errors in front of the hometown.

 

W - Ferdinand Carreiro (8.1 IP, 5 HA, 1 ER, 9 Ks)

L - Duane Navarro (5.2 IP, 7 HA, 4 ER, 2 Ks)

Player of the Game - Thomas Reynolds (2-for-5, GS, 5 RBI)

 

GAME 4 - After the debacle that was Game 3, the Vasectomy were ready to come out fighting for Game 4. However, the Eels were ready as well, and four doubles later, the Vasectomy were beaten down again, this time by the score of 7-1. A Chris Calles sacrifice fly in the bottom of the 7th scores the only Vancouver run in none other than R.J. Frost.

 

W - Ralph Mitchell (9 IP, 4 HA, 0 ER, 7 Ks)

L - John Husted (6.2 IP, 4 HA, 2 ER, 5 Ks)

Player of the Game - Ralph Mitchell (1-0)

 

GAME 5 - The highest scoring game of the series didn't go in the favor of the Vasectomy, as the Eels advanced to the League Championship with a 10-8 victory over Vancouver. Neither Tito Aquino nor Tracy Charland were any good on the mound, but after a 3-run 8th inning that followed a 5-run 7th inning by the Eels, the game was put out of reach.

 

W - Tracy Charland (1-1, 6.2 IP, 6 HA, 2 ER, 5 Ks)

L - Tito Aquino (1-1, 6 IP, 2 HA, 3 ER, 6 Ks)

Player of the Game - Robert Guarino (2-for-5, 5 RBI)

 

The NSCS MVP would certainly not belong to the pitching, and the only sensible ruling would be to declare the NSCS MVP as Chris French, who terrorized the Vasectomy with 8 RBI. Honorable mention goes to...well, pretty much the entire Eels' offense, which smothered any of Vancouver's chances.

 

LAS VEGAS JOKERS VS MEMPHIS EELS

2006 SFBL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP

 

Memphis, in their first postseason trip, are ready to go head-to-head with the Jokers, as two of the best teams in the SFBL step it up.

 

GAME 1 - Las Vegas scored 8 runs in the first inning, and it seemed like it was already over. However, Memphis made a huge rally in front of the hometown crowd, scoring 6 runs in the bottom of the 6th to tie the game at 9-9! The next 3 innings went scoreless, until the top of the 10th. Leonard Jones doubled home Derek Heredia, and Las Vegas held on after giving up a 9-run lead to win the game 10-9 in 10 innings.

 

W - Jeremy Bremer (1-0)

L - Jeremy Sadayoshi (0-1)

Player of the Game - Robert Guarino (2-for-4, 5 RBI)

 

GAME 2 - Memphis tried to rally, but it was too late in the bottom of the 9th, as Las Vegas took two games in Memphis, the latter game by the score of 5-3. James Ellis pitched a respectable outing, but Ralph Mitchell struggled.

 

W - James Ellis (6.1 IP, 6 HA, 1 ER, 8 Ks)

L - Ralph Mitchell (7.1 IP, 7 HA, 4 ER, 10 Ks)

S - Jeremy Bremer (1 IP, 0 HA, 1 K)

Player of the Game - James Ellis (2-1 in the postseason)

 

GAME 3 - Memphis bums out the Jokers' fans who were hoping for a sweep, as Phillip McGee isn't on his A-game. Jeff Jetton delivers in the clutch extra-innings once again with an RBI single off Jeremy Bremer, who had been rock solid in the regular season as a closer. Memphis 4, Las Vegas 3

 

W - Jeremy Sadayoshi (1-1)

L - Jeremy Bremer (1-1)

Player of the Game - Benito Quiros (2-for-5, 2B, 3B, RBI)

 

GAME 4 - Memphis scored fast and early, tying the series with the Jokers at 2 games a piece with a 8-6 victory.

 

W - Ferdinand Carreiro (7 IP, 10 HA, 5 ER, 6 Ks)

L - James Rosales (3 IP, 8 HA, 6 ER, 3 BB)

S - Bill McAdory (1.1 IP, 1 HA)

Player of the Game - Alexis Small (3-for-5, 2 RBI)

 

GAME 5 - Memphis stunned the Las Vegas fans, sweeping the Jokers out of their 3-game home stint with 4 runs in the top of the 8th, giving the Eels a 3-2 series lead with a 8-4 victory over the Jokers. Robert Guarino continued to slam home runs, as James Ellis just didn't have enough to hold up.

 

W - Jeremy Sadayoshi (2-1, 6.2 IP, 6 HA, 2 ER, 5 Ks)

L - Samuel Fradera (0-1)

Player of the Game - Robert Guarino (3-for-4, HR, 3 RBI)

 

GAME 6 - Jokers' fans were in the gutter as Memphis took the field with a chance to capture their first league championship.

 

At the end of two innings, they had a 5-0 lead against the Jokers' ace.

 

They took the lead and never relinquished it, beating the Jokers 7-3 and clinching the League Championship! Robert Guarino once again did most of the damage as one of three players who scored 2 RBI.

 

W - Tracy Charland (5.2 IP, 6 HA, 3 ER, 5 Ks)

L - Phillip McGee (2.2 IP, 7 HA, 6 ER, 5 Ks)

S - Carl Dahlke (3.1 IP, 2 HA, 0 ER, 3 Ks)

Player of the Game - Robert Guarino (3-for-5, 2 RBI)

 

The SFBL League Championship MVP is obviously Robert Guarino, who drove home 20 runs in the postseason this year, *14* of them in the League Championship!

 

2007 is on the way, as we see if we can get a TSM player other than R.J. Frost in the playoffs!

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Guest Smell the ratings!!!

ph33r teh Ghandi!

 

that is all. I'm suprised Ghandi hit fifth, but it seemed to work out.

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Wowz...very solid rookie season from me, looks like our lineup could be explosive with myself, Padillo and Masahide going. However our GM better draft some damn good pitchers because I don't feel like being in the basement much longer. It's cold and damp and even the friggin' rats are starting to recognize us and come to us for food.

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Guest Evolution

2007 Amateur Draft:

 

Edward James is the first TSM player to be the #1 overall pick, drafted by the Philadelphia Freedom. Edward James is going to have to be like LeBron James if he wants to save the Freedom, though.

 

On the flip side, Marvin Jenkins was drafted as the 20th overall pick by the Las Vegas Jokers, who had the best record in 2006, and are very well known for their stellar pitching staff.

 

Finally, another team in the SFBL will have TSM teammates, as the "Berzerker" was drafted as the 33rd overall pick by the Jacksonville Jackoffs. Rolf will go to play with Winston Ghandi and the rest of the Jackoffs at Astroglide Park in 2007.

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2007 Amateur Draft:

 

Edward James is the first TSM player to be the #1 overall pick, drafted by the Philadelphia Freedom. Edward James is going to have to be like LeBron James if he wants to save the Freedom, though.

 

On the flip side, Marvin Jenkins was drafted as the 20th overall pick by the Las Vegas Jokers, who had the best record in 2006, and are very well known for their stellar pitching staff.

 

Finally, another team in the SFBL will have TSM teammates, as the "Berzerker" was drafted as the 33rd overall pick by the Jacksonville Jackoffs. Rolf will go to play with Winston Ghandi and the rest of the Jackoffs at Astroglide Park in 2007.

Because this needs a shameless bump, and I can only provide one that's totally stupid and unremarkable, I SHALL DO SO~!

 

...firstly, Eddy J will suck. And he'll suck hard. Worse, he'll suck more because he's on the Freedom.

 

Next, Jenkins will do something. What I don't know. But he'll do something. Probably win a trophy or title. Whichever would come first.

 

Rolf and Ghandi are now Jackoffs together. Hopefully, their well put jackness shall help Jacksonville to go far this coming 2007 season.

 

That's your shameless bump for this evening. I'm your host, Lightning Flik, being my blandish self for the evening.

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Hmm. Nice of Flik to think so highly of Marvin Jenkins..

*shrugs* He's on a team that has an excellent pitching staff. The team knows pitching, hence, best place for Jenkins to beef himself up into a good player.

 

Eddy J on the other hand, will just be stupid and damaged.

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Since we've got no TSMers for the 2008 season (or at least none I see), I'll nominate another character:

 

First Name: Victor

Last Name: Zoukis

Nickname: Zealous

Number: 15

Origin: Canada

Birth date: August 24th, 1989

Age to start: (whatever his age is at the 2008 season)

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 237 lbs.

Bats: Switch

Throws: Left

Position: Starting Pitcher

 

Duration (A, B, C, D, E) - A

Holding Runners - D

Groundball% - B

Avoiding hits vs. Left-handed hitters - D

Avoiding hits vs. Right-handed hitters - B

Avoiding hits talent - B

Avoiding doubles vs. Left-handed hitters - C

Avoiding doubles vs. Right-handed hitters - B

Avoiding triples vs. Left-handed hitters - C

Avoiding triples vs. Right-handed hitters - C

Avoiding homeruns vs. Left-handed hitters - C

Avoiding homeruns vs. Right-handed hitters - B

Avoiding walks vs. Left-handed hitters - D

Avoiding walks vs. Right-handed hitters - C

Getting strikeouts vs. Left-handed hitters - D

Getting strikeouts vs. Right-handed hitters - B

Velocity -- B

 

Figured that would look a little more realistic. If that doesn't work for you Evo, I'll fix it up.

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Guest Evolution

Okay, let me explain something.

 

Groundball% - B

(This starts at 50%. If Flik were to put a 1 in place of the B, I would make his character's Groundball% 60%.)

 

Avoiding hits vs. Left-handed hitters - D

(This starts at 5, and can go up to 10. If he puts 3 points into this, it obviously goes up to 8)

Avoiding hits talent - B

(This starts at average. Replacing "B" with 1 gives him a good talent at avoiding hits, replacing it with 2 gives him brilliant. This applies for all talent categories.)

 

Velocity -- B

(This starts at 5 as well and goes to 10.)

 

There is no talent category for speed, duration, etc. Only those categories involving numbers from 1-10 have talent categories (except for velocity).

 

Also, you CANNOT subtract points from your separate categories to give more points to other categories.

 

Finally, I really don't care if we don't have anyone for 2008, I stick by the rule that you get one character at a time. We'll just play through the seasons with our faithful characters.

 

So, Flik, your second guy needs work, and when the time comes, I'll be glad to put him in the game.

 

Feel free to ask more questions, I'm hurr to answer, if you will.

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Guest Evolution

SFBL 2007

 

East-West Conference

 

Crime Spree Finally Wins East

 

After waiting for many seasons and finishing second place a good number of times, the Baltimore Crime Spree finally clinched the East Division with a 97-64 record, blowing away the other competition in the East. New York finished second with a 85-76 record, while Philadelphia made a big improvement this year, finishing above .500 with a 81-80 record.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Baltimore 97 64 .602 -

New York 85 76 .528 12.0

Philadelphia 81 80 .503 16.0

New Jersey 74 87 .460 23.0

Boston 70 91 .435 27.0

 

Baltimore Crime Spree:

Last Year: 85-77, 2nd place in the East

Star Hitters: Shimetarou Naoki (2007 Big Stick Winner) (.334, 50 HR, 143 RBI), J.C. Morello (.291, 25 HR, 91 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Ben "Pistol" Eastin (2007 Rocket Wrist Winner) (20-8, 2.20 ERA, 211 Ks), Robert Cowan (16-5, 2.74 ERA)

What Went Right: Much like last year, the Crime Spree continued to hit balls out of the ballpark, that can mostly be attributed to Naoki's first full season with the Crime Spree. The rest of the Spree hitters did fine and dandy, polishing a now well-rounded offense. On the other side of things, the pitching staff held up considerably, and despite losing Ben Eastin in the last two weeks of the regular season, he still managed to capture the Rocket Wrist Award.

What Went Wrong: The pitching staff is allowing a considerable amount of homeruns, but it's no spilled milk to be crying over.

 

New York Bums

Last Year: 76-86, 3rd place in the East

Star Hitters: Valentin Rivera (.296, 39 HR, 146 RBI), Clement Nations (.350, 29 HR, 111 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Randy Delong (16-13, 4.26 ERA)

What Went Right: Clement Nations is back in the saddle as he won yet another batting title, commandering the Bums' offense along with the heavy-hitting Valentin Rivera, who also managed to raise his batting average quite a bit.

What Went Wrong: The pitching staff which Randy Delong was once in control of has now long since faded, and the Bums are in big trouble on the pitching side of things. The hitting is there, but if they can't come up with a competent pitching staff, they won't be able to contend in 2008.

 

Philadelphia Freedom:

Last Year: 64-98, 5th place in the East

Star Hitters: Ramon Merino (.268, 17 HR, 96 RBI), Oscar Ortiz (.287, 21 HR, 79 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Ferdinand Carreiro (17-4, 3.21 ERA, 218 Ks)

What Went Right: Oscar Ortiz decided to produce some offense along with Ramon Merino, as the Freedom's comeback from a horrible 2006 is definitely the feel-good story of the regular season. Also, a deadline trade gave the Freedom Ferdinand Carreiro, who proceeded to put together solid outings. Slowly, yet surely, the pitching staff is getting better.

What Went Wrong: The trade that gave the Freedom Ferdinand Carreiro carried a big cost. As in the #1 pick in the 2007 draft by the Freedom. Yes, Edward James was traded midseason to the Memphis Eels for a 31 year old pitcher. No matter how good Ferdinand is, you just don't do that. However, the offense seems to be getting better nonetheless. It's going to take more pitchers than Carreiro to turn around that staff, however.

 

New Jersey Clerks:

Last Year: 86-76, 1st place in the East

Star Hitters: Wilford Linn (.299, 14 HR, 90 RBI), Herbert Huber (.288, 28 HR, 105 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Juan Pearson (16-14, 3.57 ERA, 240 Ks), Dewayne Bouldin (34 saves, 2.93 ERA)

What Went Right: The Clerks signed Herbert Huber to a fat free agent contract during the offseason, and it appeared that everything would be coming up roses for the Clerks. Well, Huber certainly did help an offense that seemed to be slacking in some areas, but...

What Went Wrong: Not only is the pitching staff getting better, but Herbert Huber simply isn't producing enough to have an enormous effect on the team.

 

Boston Tea Baggers:

Last Year: 72-90, 4th place in the East

Star Hitters: William Allen (.251, 31 HR, 101 RBI)

Star Pitchers: None

What Went Right: William Allen can still hit the longball and drive in the runs.

What Went Wrong: Needless to say, the Tea Baggers are in big trouble. After losing Sergio Santana to free agency, things did not get much better. This team could potentially lose 100 games next season unless they improve some things, starting with their pitching staff.

 

West Becomes A Joke With Another Las Vegas Victory

 

There is simply no team better than the Jokers in the West, as Las Vegas once again has advanced to the playoffs by clinching the West Division with a 86-75 record. Seattle and Denver finished a respective four and six games behind, as they continue to throw up some resistance to the fact that the Jokers are continually hitting the playoffs, no matter what.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Las Vegas 86 75 .534 -

Seattle 82 79 .509 4.0

Denver 80 81 .497 6.0

Phoenix 76 85 .472 10.0

Los Angeles 74 87 .460 12.0

 

Las Vegas Jokers:

Last Year: 99-63, 1st place in the West

Star Hitters: Christopher Silveira (.288, 15 HR, 90 RBI), Freddie Gutierrez (.285, 25 HR, 98 RBI)

Star Pitchers: James Rosales (14-8, 4.15 ERA), Felix Rodas (16-6, 3.82 ERA)

What Went Right: 2007 was an interesting offseason with the loss of one of the aces in the Jokers' hand in James Ellis, but all things considered, they have recovered nicely. Make no mistake, this is not the same team that won 99 games last year, but with the 4th lowest team ERA in the league, the pitching staff has done anything but suffer. On the offensive side, Christopher Silveira continues to put up solid numbers year after year, and free agent acquisition Freddie Gutierrez put together some good numbers himself.

What Went Wrong: There are a few things wrong with the Jokers this time around. First and foremost: The offense. They're slow, and they're mediocre when it comes to hitting the ball. The Jokers' dynasty on top of the West division might be coming to an end next season unless they can have a good season with picking up free agents or even draft picks. Draft picks are of a lesser content, though. The Jokers need help with their offense now, not a season or two down the road, if they want to continue that dynasty. The rest of this team will not be holding up. A healthy Philip McGee will help next season if they can get it, but that's left to be seen.

TSM Player: Marvin Jenkins (9-13, 4.18 ERA) was a good addition to the Jokers' pitching staff, putting together a respectable rookie season.

 

Seattle Frasiers:

Last Year: 80-82, 4th place in the West

Star Hitters: Keith Cooperman (.292, 23 HR, 92 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Giant Gonzales (13-9, 3.92 ERA), Claudio Galaviz (17-3, 2.24 ERA, 215 Ks)

What Went Right: The pitching staff is slowly becoming better and better, as Giant Gonzales likely had the season of his life and Claudio Galaviz is emerging as a new ace for the Frasiers.

What Went Wrong: Gunderson is approaching a state of washed-upness, and the offense needs a lot of work, as Keith Cooperman won't be around forever.

 

Denver Douchebags:

Last Year: 92-70, 2nd place in the West

Star Hitters: Jason Orozco (.342, 52 HR, 126 RBI), Luis Amezcua (.316, 26 HR, 93 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Dexter Garnica (19-13, 4.31 ERA)

What Went Right: Jason Orozco was a Big Stick Award contender with his numbers, and Dexter Garnica is holding his ground as the ace for the Douchebags.

What Went Wrong: The pitching staff continues to lack, however, and the offense could use a little help in the run scoring department.

 

Phoenix Ashes:

Last Year: 80-82, 3rd place in the West

Star Hitters: Shiro Suzuki (.334, 17 HR, 91 RBI), Quentin Brown (.281, 24 HR, 91 RBI), Randall Merz (.269, 24 HR, 109 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Mathew Carey (41 saves, 2.66 ERA), Robert Stanton (15-9, 3.88 ERA)

What Went Right: Suzuki put together another solid year, and if Suzuki, Brown, and Merz can have breakout years, the Ashes can go to the playoffs, easily. Also, a new starting pitcher ace has emerged in Stanton.

What Went Wrong: The offense is still struggling on Shiro, Quentin, and Randall's shoulders, and it will likely all go south unless something happens for the better in the FA signings.

 

Los Angeles Glory Holes:

Last Year: 76-86, 5th place in the West

Star Hitters: Robert Reiley (.301, 25 HR, 98 RBI), Trent "Butch" Morphy (.262, 34 HR, 101 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Sergio Sarabia (15-13, 3.17 ERA), Jose Opitz (15-12, 3.78 ERA, 202 Ks)

What Went Right: The pitching staff is still showing signs of promise, especially with a solid year from Jose Opitz.

What Went Wrong: In late May, the Glory Holes lost Saul Abad for good with a career-ending injury, and the pitching staff has struggled ever since, despite Opitz' year. Sarabia is struggling as well. As for the offense, well...they just need help. Now.

 

North-South Conference

 

Transit Authority Return To The Top Of The North

 

After finishing second place behind the Vasectomy in 2006, the Transit Authority are back in the playoffs with a 97-64 record, finishing 6 games ahead of their counterparts in the Vasectomy. The Columbus Pride, meanwhile, became the first team in SFBL history to lose 100 games.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Chicago 97 64 .602 -

Vancouver 91 70 .565 6.0

Detroit 74 87 .460 23.0

Indianapolis 67 94 .416 30.0

Columbus 61 100 .379 36.0

 

Chicago Transit Authority:

Last Year: 84-78, 2nd place in the North

Star Hitters: Samuel Sainz (.254, 39 HR, 107 RBI), Johnny Sheckler (.281, 20 HR, 73 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Lazaro Arevalo (17-10, 2.89 ERA), Daniel Estill (20-6, 2.86 ERA, 270 Ks), John Propes (19-11, 3.71 ERA)

What Went Right: Lazaro, Daniel, and John carried the Transit Authority to the playoffs, without a doubt. Samuel Sainz also gave the Transit Authority a little help, but that pitching staff was just so stellar it is hard to overlook it.

What Went Wrong: Chicago is the slowest team in the SFBL, and they need to work on getting the bat on the ball, as no matter how many runs Samuel Sainz drives in, he still needs to start hitting the ball.

 

Vancouver Vasectomy:

Last Year: 88-74, 1st place in the North

Star Hitters: R.J. Frost (2007 Big Stick Award Winner) (.329, 33 HR, 139 RBI), Zoilo Castillo (.310, 20 HR, 97 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Tito Aquino (18-11, 4.12 ERA), John Husted (16-6, 3.55 ERA), Yogi Hisahsi (18-4, 3.56 ERA)

What Went Right: Arthur Kriebel was lost to free agency, but they managed to recover quite well with the combination of Yogi, Tito and...John. Also, they had a solid bullpen headed up by closer Enrique Orozco who saved 40 games for the Vasectomy. The offensive side of things is quite good, with R.J. Frost capturing a Big Stick Award after unquestionably his most productive season.

What Went Wrong: Aside from those three great pitchers, the other starting pitchers were quite awful. Where Chicago had a great pitching staff and bad offense, Vancouver had good offense and a pitiful pitching staff, despite Tito, John, and Yogi's efforts. However, they should be solid contenders in 2008.

 

Detroit Motor Vehicles:

Last Year: 81-81, 4th place in the North

Star Hitters: John Whitehead (.283, 31 HR, 111 RBI), Logan Caldwell (.342, 25 HR, 109 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Pedro Camacho (13-12, 5.34 ERA)

What Went Right: Whitehead and Caldwell once again combined to put together good numbers for the DMV, and Pedro Camacho had a respectable season.

What Went Wrong: Camacho is the only starting pitcher with a winning record on the DMV, as the trend continues for North pitching staffs to be putrid, despite the explosive offense and the emergent Transit Authority staff.

 

Indianapolis Ignition:

Last Year: 83-79, 3rd place in the North

Star Hitters: Alfred Padillo (.255, 21 HR, 89 RBI), Joel Masahide (.259, 37 HR, 117 RBI)

Star Pitchers: None

What Went Right: Joel Masahide just needs a little help with the batting average, as he puts up very good numbers for the Ignition, along with a solid season from Alfred Padillo.

What Went Wrong: Pitching, pitching, and more pitching problems. Joey Fernandez (8-22, 5.36 ERA) just plain sucks, you can't blame the offense on this one and with the highest Team ERA, things were just not going good for the Ignition this season, and it was a miracle and Joel Masahide that kept them from finishing dead last in the division this year. Oh, and the next team helped out, too.

 

Columbus Pride:

Last Year: 79-83, 5th place in the North

Star Hitters: Harry Ducharme (.300, 37 HR, 101 RBI), Mike Scherbak (.254, 19 HR, 91 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Joseph Onorato (13-10, 4.42 ERA)

What Went Right: Harry Ducharme is practically carrying this entire team on his shoulders with minor help from Joseph Onorato

What Went Wrong: This is the bottom of the barrel as far as teams go, and it absolutely shows. Ben Dover had an awful year in 2007 after a solid one in 2006, almost losing 20 games and finishing with a ERA well over 5.00. The offense isn't producing nearly enough, and the pitching isn't much better, as the Pride staff allowed the most team walks, and 182 homeruns during the season.

 

Jackoffs Win Close Playoff Race

 

Jacksonville won a one-game playoff to advance to the playoffs, winning the South division and edging out the Atlanta Hanoi Janes, who had tied the Jackoffs by the end of the season. Memphis finished one and a half games back.

 

Team W L PCT GB

Jacksonville 88 74 .543 -

Atlanta 87 75 .537 1.0

Memphis 86 75 .534 1.5

Houston 84 77 .522 3.5

Charlotte 71 90 .441 16.5

 

Jacksonville Jackoffs:

Last Year: 84-78, 2nd place in the South

Star Hitters: Winston Ghandi (.321, 26 HR, 101 RBI), Thomas Lipps (.322, 13 HR, 100 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Joey Salvador (17-9, 3.15 ERA), Rolf Dreikugeln (10-5, 3.45 ERA), George Alongi (13-8, 4.50 ERA)

What Went Right: Somehow, the Jackoffs lost Herbert Huber to free agency and actually managed to do better than when they had him. Well, to be honest, it's no mystery: Thomas Lipps and Winston Ghandi had good years, helping a struggling offense into the playoffs. Meanwhile, the pitching staff was fine and dandy, and likely had a hand in the Jackoffs making it very far.

What Went Wrong: The offense needs a little work in the offseason if the Jackoffs want to return to the playoffs and possibly put some distance between Atlanta and them. Because Atlanta isn't getting much weaker anytime soon.

 

Atlanta Hanoi Janes:

Last Year: 73-89, 4th place in the South

Star Hitters: Carlos DeSantis (.357, 27 HR, 95 RBI), David Hunter (.286, 21 HR, 122 RBI, 45 SB), Baldo Covas (.301, 8 HR, 111 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Leslie Felder (15-11, 4.41 ERA), Eric LeBeau (14-14, 4.35 ERA)

What Went Right: They almost did it. The deadline acquisition of speedster David Hunter definitely helped the Hanoi Janes, as they scored 914 runs on the way to a second place finish during the season. Carlos DeSantis is still very, very good, and Baldo Covas can bring home the runs without question. Also, Eric LeBeau is just getting better and better.

What Went Wrong: The bullpen was just far too weak for Atlanta to get very far, and even if they had beaten the Jackoffs in that one-game playoff, it's questionable whether they would have even made it very far in the postseason anyway. However, if the Hanoi Janes can get their shit together, they should finally get their chance in the spotlight in 2008. Also, the Hanoi Janes could afford to hit a few more homeruns.

 

Memphis Eels:

Last Year: 92-70, 1st place in the South, League Champions

Star Hitters: Jeff Jetton (.317, 17 HR, 90 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Tracy Charland (13-8, 4.51 ERA), Ralph Mitchell (14-14, 3.44 ERA)

What Went Right: Gee golly, the Eels sure hit a lot of homeruns. Their 207 team homeruns led the SFBL, and the pitching staff only ALLOWED 121, which was impressive.

What Went Wrong: They certainly didn't look like defending champions. They are slowly becoming a faster team, but now the offense is in big trouble of faltering unless some reconstruction work is done.

TSM Player: Alex Zenon (12-8, 2.97 ERA in AA) enjoyed a successful year in the minor leagues, though it's doubtful the Eels will ever call on his services unless they suddenly get desperate, or Zenon suddenly gets good; the latter of which just ain't going to happen.

 

Houston Horny Toads:

Last Year: 76-86, 3rd place in the South

Star Hitters: Zachariah "Hurricane" Orlowski (.332, 47 HR, 117 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Peter Reynosa (15-13, 4.27 ERA)

What Went Right: The "Hurricane" is still producing a great amount of offense, as he contended for the Big Stick Award once again this year. Also, Peter Reynosa is doing pretty good on the mound. The Horny Toads are also the fastest team in the league with 155 stolen bases.

What Went Wrong: The Horny Toads allowed a lot of homeruns, and yet had a lot of problems getting the bat on the ball this year.

 

Charlotte Harlots:

Last Year: 70-92, 5th place in the South

Star Hitters: Edgar Clune (.287, 19 HR, 89 RBI), John Duran (.277, 17 HR, 78 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Joseph Rector (2007 Rocket Wrist Award) (21-7, 2.72 ERA)

What Went Right: Well, the belly-itchers were surely on a minimum this year, as Rector was more than enough to give the Harlots a solid pitching staff. Also, Edgar Clune and John Duran did pretty good this year on the offensive side of things.

What Went Wrong: Okay, so now that Rector is on the Harlots and seems to be doing pretty well for himself, the focus needs to turn to the offense. Charlotte can contend with Rector on board, they just need some good years from the offense.

 

Record Book

 

In the East-West, Jason Orozco has set a record for the most homeruns in a single season, besting the record of 50 set by Samuel Sainz in the SFBL's inaugural season. That record had been one of the longest standing ones.

 

Joey Fernandez has the record once again for the most losses by a North-South pitcher, losing 22 games and besting the record of 21 by another Joey, Joey Salvador.

 

North-South wins All-Star Game...Again

 

The "Hurricane" Zachariah Orlowski was the MVP for the N-S Allstars, going 2-for-3 with 4 RBI and a 2-run homerun in the N-S' narrow 7-6 win over the East-West All-Stars. TSM players in the All-Star Game that played included Shiro Suzuki (0-for-3), Carlos DeSantis (2-for-3, RBI), Logan Caldwell (0-for-1, pinch hitter), R.J. Frost (1-for-3, BB), Winston Ghandi (0-for-3, BB), and John Duran (0-for-3)

 

East-West Fresh Fish Award:

Jose Loera (SEA)!

He batted .280 in 493 AB, with 9 homers and 74 RBI.

 

North-South Fresh Fish Award:

Edward James (MEM)!

He batted .292 in 535 AB, with 16 homers and 81 RBI.

 

East-West Rocket Wrist Award:

Ben Eastin (BAL)!

He had a record of 20-8 with an ERA of 2.20 and 4 shutouts.

In 33 games started, he pitched 258 innings, fanning 211 and walking 47 batters.

 

East-West Big Stick Award:

Shimetarou Naoki (BAL)!

He batted .334 in 593 AB, with 50 homers and 143 RBI.

 

North-South Rocket Wrist Award:

Joseph Rector (CHA)!

He had a record of 21-7 with an ERA of 2.72 and 1 shutouts.

In 33 games started, he pitched 228 innings, fanning 152 and walking 83 batters.

 

North-South Big Stick Award:

RJ Frost (VAN)!

He batted .329 in 596 AB, with 33 homers and 139 RBI.

 

East-West Glass Ceiling Award Winners:

Pitcher: Jose Opitz (LA)

Catcher: Jc Morello (BAL)

First Base: Edward Stockstill (SEA)

Second Base: Luis Amezcua (DEN)

Third Base: Ronnie Desrochers (LV)

Shortstop: Mark Heidt (SEA)

Leftfield: Stephen Penney (LA)

Centerfield: Kaname Yakumo (NY)

Rightfield: Carl Phillips (NY)

 

North-South Glass Ceiling Award Winners:

Pitcher: Emmett Combs (VAN)

Catcher: Michael Bridger (CHI)

First Base: RJ Frost (VAN)

Second Base: Dean Kornegay (COL)

Third Base: Matthew Welke (JAC)

Shortstop: Robert Domingues (VAN)

Leftfield: Baldo Covas (ATL)

Centerfield: Herschel Fansler (DET)

Rightfield: Gary Burleson (DET)

 

Carlos DeSantis

Shiro Suzuki

John Duran

Ben Dover

Giant Gonzales

RJ Frost

Winston Ghandi

Markus Cirillo

Alex Zenon

Eric LeBeau

Logan Caldwell

David Hunter

Marvin Jenkins

Rolf Dreikugeln

Edward James

 

Coming up: The 2007 postseason.

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Ok, going on the assumption that HP = Hit by pitch, I got hit 23 times in one season? 23 god damn times? Sweet merciful crap.

 

Since the next highest was 5 I think my assumption is safe. 23 fucking times.

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If I done screwed up, let me know.

 

First Name: Peter

Last Name: Kostka

Nickname: PK

Number: 40

Origin: USA

Birth date: 10/21/1982

Age to start: 20

Height: 5' 9"

Weight: 180lbs

Bats: Right

Throws: Right

Position: Closer

 

Duration- +1

Groundball% - +1

Avoiding hits vs. Left-handed hitters - +2

Avoiding homeruns vs. Left-handed hitters

vs. Right-handed hitters talent -- +1

Avoiding walks vs. Left-handed hitters

vs. Right-handed hitters talent -- +1

Getting strikeouts vs. Left-handed hitters vs. Right-handed hitters talent-- +1

Velocity -- +2

 

*** All pitchers are allowed 2-4 pitches (pitches do not cost any points, just pick 2-4)

 

Fastball

Curveball

Sinker

Splitfinger

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Meh... As I said. Eddy J would suck...

 

How he won a Fresh Fish Award, I'm still wondering...

Because there were 48 SBs thrown in with the solid hitting numbers.

:huh: 48? Wow. That's definitely a lot of them. What's the record?

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Detroit Motor Vehicles:

Last Year: 81-81, 4th place in the North

Star Hitters: John Whitehead (.283, 31 HR, 111 RBI), Logan Caldwell (.342, 25 HR, 109 RBI)

Star Pitchers: Pedro Camacho (13-12, 5.34 ERA)

What Went Right: Whitehead and Caldwell once again combined to put together good numbers for the DMV, and Pedro Camacho had a respectable season.

What Went Wrong: Camacho is the only starting pitcher with a winning record on the DMV, as the trend continues for North pitching staffs to be putrid, despite the explosive offense and the emergent Transit Authority staff.

 

Caldwell's offensive numbers are being nullified by the lack of a Detroit pitching staff.

 

Crap.

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