The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Vengeance 2003

[Guest TSMAdmin]

The Dames’ Diatribe on WWE Vengeance 2003

 

For those of you who are relatively new to my reviews, you’ve missed out on a ton of bitching about Cablevision and their shitty service. As someone who reviews TNA weekly, I was ecstatic when Cablevision picked it up around October of last year…only 4 months into the promotion. After the whole Yankees/YES Network fiasco where Bronx residents such as myself weren’t able to watch our own team on TV, I wasn’t exactly a happy camper when it came to Cablevision and their business decisions.

 

Then, the week after Raven faced Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title in TNA’s biggest show to date at that point, Cablevision here in the Bronx stopped airing TNA without any warning or explanation. I was upset, once again, but Bob Barron was able to hook me up weekly, albeit a day late, which got me booted off one of the sites that I wrote for.

 

Then last night, good old Cablevision decided to give me another swift kick in the ass as 8:00 PM came along and there was no Vengeance in sight. Apparently, it was only available for customers who had converted to digital boxes. The catch here is…Cablevision NEVER told anyone HOW to obtain digital boxes or WHEN it would be absolutely necessary to! Then those bastards want to know why I want DirecTV so badly. But sadly, it’s not up to me…

 

Fortunately, the PPV came in midway through somehow, so I was able to catch the replay, which ended at 2am, hence the lateness of this Diatribe. My guess is that enough people complained to convince them to put it back on. For the record, Cablevision absolutely sucks and if it weren’t for the fact that they own Madison Square Garden, the Knicks and the now bankrupt chain of “The Wiz” stores, they wouldn’t have nearly as much power as they do. Gee, I wonder why The Wiz went out of business.

 

Sorry about that…I guess I got a little carried away. Well, let’s just get to the pay per view, shall we?

 

Bonus Heat Match:

 

Ultimo Dragon vs. Kanyon

 

Match Background: Poor Ultimo Dragon. The guy came in with so much hype and they’ve already dropped the ball with him. He debuted at Madison Square Garden and defeated Shannon Moore. You’d think that from there, he’d gain a string of victories and be in a position to vie for the Cruiserweight Title, right? Nope. From there, he wasn’t even ON TV the next week and then lost to Eddie Guerrero in the opening bracket of the US Title Tournament. Not that there is any shame in losing to Eddie Guerrero at all, but Spanky wasn’t doing anything on the card that night and seeing how little they value him, they could have easily placed him in Ultimo’s slot and not have the Dragon job already. Then, he faced Jamie Noble and the only reason he was able to get the win in that match is because Noble was distracted by Billy Gunn and Torrie. Some great push, huh? The only reason why I’m emphasizing all of this is because the last time that a major Cruiserweight was signed, Rey Mysterio, he was immediately put up against Kurt Angle and had a high profile series of matches with him and other members of the “Smackdown Six” and made to look credible. Ultimo deserves better than this. Speaking of those who deserve better, he’s facing a man who was out for 2002 with an injury and returned with absolutely zero fanfare, Chris Kanyon. Kanyon hasn’t been seen on Smackdown since he was beat up by the Undertaker in a bad skit during early February. He’s been a Velocity mainstay as of late and for those who don’t watch the show, this is probably the first time in months that he’ll be seen by more then 10 people.

 

The Match: To emphasize just how little WWE cares about Kanyon, he’s already in the ring awaiting Ultimo and can’t get his own entrance on a Pre-PPV Heat. Ultimo immediately demonstrates his quickness by ducking some clotheslines and big boots and lands a leg sweep on Kanyon for the first real move of the night. Ultimo connects with his series of kicks for a two count, but ducks his head too early and pays for it. Kanyon puts Ultimo up on his shoulder and slams him down face first, which gets a reaction out of the crowd as Ultimo sells the knee upon impact. Kanyon only gets a two count out of it and follows it up with a backbreaker for a second nearfall. Kanyon taunts the crowd and receives a loud “Kanyon Sucks” chant as he works over Ultimo with some restholds. Ultimo gets up and connects with some more kicks before coming off the 2nd rope with a cross body, but doesn’t go for the cover. He charges at Kanyon with a cross body attempt off the ropes, but gets caught and planted with a fallaway slam INTO a vertical suplex for a two count. That was unique. Tazz calls it a “Tabletop suplex”, which sounds pretty cool. Kanyon then decides to go old school on us and attempt the Flatliner (Samoan Drop off the 2nd rope), but Ultimo is able to slip out and powerbomb him out of the corner! Ultimo collapses in the corner with great selling and trips up Kanyon as he charges at him. Ultimo lands some kicks to the ass, literally, and has to loosen up his legs afterwards. Back in the middle of the ring now, Ultimo and Kanyon trade waistlocks until Dragon is able to land a kick to the midsection and hooks him for his unique backwards somersault finisher that I forgot the name of for the pinfall and the victory.

 

Winner: Ultimo Dragon

 

My Opinion: In the very short amount of time that these men had to work with, they were able to put on a decent match with some nice selling by the Dragon and unique offense by Kanyon. Both of these guys deserve a spot on the everyday Smackdown roster and it’s a shame that they aren’t being used properly. Eventually, Dragon will get some sort of a push based on his signing alone, but I fear that Kanyon may be dead in the water and would probably be better utilized elsewhere. *1/4

 

We get the usual opening PPV montage with Angle, Brock, Zach Gowen and Stephanie McMahon talking about their dreams and how they’ll accomplish them tonight. The montage switches gears midway with Vince McMahon narrating for the heels and their goals, even going as far as calling himself the “reaper of souls”. Excellent montage, as always.

 

And the first match of the night will probably be the best as we open the night with…

 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit in the US Title Tournament Finals

 

Match Background: This is the match that most people are looking forward to and are most willing to put down $35 for.

 

For years, these two men have torn it up across the globe and made names for themselves as two of the greatest workers in the world. Starting in Japan with Benoit going under the name Wild Pegasus (eventually becoming the Pegasus Kid) and Guerrero as Black Tiger, Benoit and Guerrero seemed to follow each other across the globe to every federation. Both men were in ECW, then jumped to WCW around the same time. In WCW, both men were pushed as great technical wrestlers, but felt misused. In the winter of 1999/2000, both men along with Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko, jumped to the WWE as The Radicalz in one of the biggest promotions jumps EVER. The group didn’t stay together long as everyone ended up going their separate ways, but Benoit and Guerrero remained good friends.

 

Although a skirmish came between them during the Angle/Benoit/Los Guerreros tag feud, they didn’t have an issue with each other until December when Eddie and Benoit were both looking for a shot at the WWE Title. They faced each other at Armaggedon with Benoit coming out on top, defeating Eddie with the Crippler Crossface.

 

Fast forward to months later and both men are now in the US Title Tournament. With wins over Ultimo Dragon and Billy Gunn, Eddie Guerrero is in the finals along with Chris Benoit, who went through his friend Rhyno and Matt Hardy to get there. This past week on Smackdown, Eddie called out Benoit, his “best friend” to talk about their match at Vengeance. Benoit came to the ring and called Eddie on the fact that he called him his “best friend”, yet never bothered to keep in contact with him. Eddie then revealed the truth…he can’t stand Benoit because for years, he’s been second best when compared to him. Eddie is determined to prove to everyone that he is better than Benoit and undeserving of being second fiddle. Eddie then tried to attack Benoit from behind, which resulted in a brawl for a few moments. Eddie then took spray wax that he uses for his custom Low Riders and sprayed it in Benoit’s face, temporarily blinding him. Benoit is fine though and will be 100% when he faces Eddie Guerrero for the vacant US Title tonight.

 

Both men are former WCW US Title holders by the way…

 

The Match: Eddie gets a loud, mixed reaction as he rides his convertible Low Rider into the arena. Benoit gets a loud pop as he makes his way down to the ring as well, mostly positive. A small “Eddie” chant breaks out as the ref gives instruction to both men…like they need it.

 

They lock up, with Eddie backing away into the ropes as Tazz practically guarantees a classic match up from these two. A mixed chant breaks out as Eddie gets a hammerlock and takes Benoit down to the mat until the Rabid Wolverine is able to get up and hits a MASSIVE shoulder block to Latino Heat. They lock up again and Eddie once again works on the arm, but Benoit switches into a full nelson and transitions into a Crossface attempt, which is blocked by Guerrero. Eddie and Benoit tussle over the arm for a moment until they end up in a side headlock in some beautiful chain wrestling and then Guerrero shoulder blocks Benoit down.

 

Greco-Roman knuckle lock now with the stronger Benoit gaining the advantage, but Eddie is able to counter and takes down Benoit with a top wrist lock. This is just beautiful WRESTLING. Eddie chops Benoit…and will mostly likely pay for it later. Eddie then comes off the ropes with a rana attempt, but Benoit rolls through and we get a bunch of rolling nearfalls (with a TWIST~!) until Eddie is able to armdrag Benoit to the outside.

 

They lock up again and Eddie takes Benoit down with a side headlock. Eddie has to push Benoit’s legs to the side as Benoit tries to subtly counter. It’s those little things about both men that make their work so crisp and sadly, so rare these days. In a gorgeous display of intelligence, Eddie gets up and fakes going to the ropes, only to come back down on Benoit with the side headlock and gain better positioning. Benoit gets up and goes for a back suplex, but Eddie flips out of it and hooks on the side headlock again.

 

Eddie comes off the ropes and Benoit goes for a tilt a whirl, but Eddie reverses it into a Tombstone position and the crowd goes CRAZY. That move, hell…that POSITION ALONE is one of the most over moves in the wrestling WORLD. Benoit reverses it and the fans are jumping out of their seats before Benoit delivers a shoulder breaker and goes after the Crossface! Eddie tries to block it, but Benoit is able to hook it as Eddie quickly gets his feet to the ropes. Eddie bails to the outside, but Benoit won’t give him a moment’s rest and goes FLYING to the outside with a GREAT Suicide Dive with a forearm to Eddie’s mouth that hits FLUSH.

 

Benoit tosses Eddie back in and tosses him into the turnbuckles shoulder first and then slams him down…and Eddie sells it properly, clutching at his shoulder on the mat. Benoit puts on a great half nelson on the bad shoulder to work it for the Crossface some more. Benoit takes Eddie down and slaps him in the back of the head in the most cocky ring work I’ve seen Benoit ever do as a babyface before whipping him into the ropes. Eddie reverses it, but Benoit is able to block it and goes for a quick roll up and all of a sudden, WWE cameras cut away to a shot of the arena in the middle of the match! The production error is quickly rectified as Eddie gets out of the roll up attempt, only to EAT a Benoit chop! Eddie recovers and sends Benoit to the mat with a back elbow as Chris charges and places him on the top rope for a rana that connects.

 

Eddie gets up with Benoit still on the mat and the crowd has definitely come alive as Guerrero delivers a nice back suplex on Benoit for two. Benoit sells it beautifully and Eddie starts to get cocky by bouncing around the ring and delivering some boots to the midsection. Benoit gets up only to get a chop to the chest by Guerrero and responds in kind. They go back and forth with chops for a moment, but Eddie regains the advantage momentarily with a thumb to the eye. Benoit then BAAAACK body drops Eddie to the mat as he comes back with a surge of energy and connects with several shoulder blocks. He sends Eddie to the corner and proceeds to wail away at his chest with vicious chops that send Guerrero reeling out of the corner. Benoit sets Eddie up for the Germans, but Eddie reverses it and Benoit counters the standing switch and places him on the top turnbuckle with his back facing the ring. Both men go up top and Benoit connects with the SUPER BACK SUPLEX~! Both men are down as they land HARD!

 

The crowd is definitely into this as they count along with the ref’s 10 count and Benoit is able to crawl onto of Eddie for ONE…TWO…NO! Cole makes an idiot out of himself on commentary by naming men from WCW who have held the US Title and then says: “Will it be Benoit or Guerrero who will join that illustrious group as US Champion here tonight”. I guess he doesn’t realize that BOTH MEN were U.S. Champion in WCW at one point.

 

Benoit gets up and hits the first two of the Triple Germans, but Eddie counters the last…and Benoit counters THAT into the CROSSFACE~! Eddie can’t get to the ropes and looks to tap out…but eventually gets his right foot on the bottom rope. Benoit gets a backbreaker for a two count and goes for a second, but Eddie flips out of it and begins his Rolling Vertical Suplexes! He hits the first two and then places Benoit up top and connects with a Superplex!

 

Eddie gets up and heads to the top rope for the Frogsplash, but Benoit moves out of the way, but not enough and Eddie collides slightly with Benoit’s backside.

 

Benoit gets up and hits the WILDBOMB~! He hasn’t done that in SO LONG! ONE…TWO…NO! Benoit goes for the Crossface again and Eddie once again gets to the bottom rope. The ref has to separate Benoit, which irks the Canadian superstar and Eddie charges into Benoit, who bumps the ref! Eddie goes to ringside and grabs the new U.S. Title and connects with it to the side of the head on Benoit! Eddie hits the Frogsplash…the ref comes over for the cover…ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Eddie is STUNNED and goes out to ringside again for the US Title. He comes in…looks a bit confused as to what to do…and then nails the REF with the title in the back! He then places the belt on Benoit and lays down, feigning as if he’s been KO’ed! The fans laugh as they revel in the CHEAT~! that is Eddie Guerrero. Things don’t exactly work out the way he wanted them to, however, as the ref is STILL down and Eddie has to get up and try to wake him up….before going back to his fake KO’ed position. It doesn’t work as the ref is just OUT and Eddie starts shaking him…and he finally starts to stir.

 

Benoit gets up and hooks on the Crossface from behind and Eddie taps out…but the ref is still downed and can’t see what’s going on. Benoit tries to wake the ref and Eddie goes after Benoit with the US Title again! Benoit ducks and German Suplexes Eddie and then it’s CUTTHROAT~! as he signals for the Headbutt! The ref crawls over to Eddie, who’s still holding onto the US Title and looks to try and take it from him as Benoit comes off the top. Eddie pulls the referee in the way and he takes the Headbutt to the kidneys!

 

Rhyno comes into the ring for some reason and sets up the GORE~! in the corner as Eddie and Benoit get up in opposite corners of the ring. As they get to their feet, they get closer to each other and Rhyno charges…and GORES BENOIT! Rhyno spits on Benoit as the crowd boos and Eddie is in SHOCK!

 

Rhyno leaves the ring and Eddie shrugs it off to bad luck…before heading to the top and nailing the Frogsplash for the pinfall and the win.

 

Winner and new US Champion: Eddie Guerrero

 

My Opinion: This was a great, great match up between these two men who built the match up slowly and were able to get the crowd into it with great WRESTLING. It’s definitely the little transitions and nuances that make these two some of the best workers in the world today and they were ON tonight. They didn’t need big, outrageous bumps to do it or anything out of the ordinary either. The interference by Rhyno marred the finish of the match and Eddie’s cheating shenanigans towards the end of the match, while very humorous, detracted from the wrestling. If this match had a clean finish, I would have gone even higher. If the rumors are true and WWE wants to make the U.S. Title the “wrestling” title, then this was definitely the measuring stick that every US Title match needs to live up to and try to surpass. ****1/2.

 

In the back, Vince McMahon is sniffing a bouquet of flowers in Stephanie’s office. Stephanie walks in and Vince tells her that he’ll be on Raw this week to confront Kane about Tombstoning Linda. Stephanie gets upset at her father for even insinuating that he’s going to defend her honor after saying some disparaging remarks about her this past Thursday on Smackdown. Vince says that he’s trying to turn over a new leaf and that he bought her some flowers. Stephanie says that she likes the bouquet, but Vince then informs her that those aren’t her…those are Sable’s. He then gives her a handful of dried, cheap flowers before walking out.

 

We go to a video package reviewing the Billy Gunn/Jamie Noble match up tonight.

 

Billy Gunn (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. Jamie Noble in an Indecent Proposal Match

 

Match Background: Jamie Noble, the redneck messiah, is now a rich man having inherited over $800,000 from the death of a long lost aunt. Since then, Jamie Noble has been interested in sleeping with Playboy Centerfold Torrie Wilson, who is now seconding Billy Gunn to the ring. After a mixed tag between himself & Nidia against Torrie and Gunn, Noble offered her $10,000 to sleep with him…which she denied. The following week, Noble then upped the ante to $25,000 dollars, but Torrie still said no and Nidia left his side due to his indecent proposals. This past week on Smackdown, Billy Gunn faced Noble and defeated him clean in the middle of the ring with his new finisher, the Gunnslinger (Chris Harris’ Catatonic from TNA). After the match, Noble once again got on the microphone and told Gunn that he wanted a rematch…and Torrie can name her price. Torrie then got into the ring and told Noble that she’s so confident in Billy Gunn, that she’ll agree to sleep with him on Smackdown for free should Noble win at Vengeance, leading to tonight’s match.

 

The Match: With Gunn and Torrie already in the ring, Noble comes out with a solid briefcase and THE STICK~! He says that he’s prepared a “Love Case” with “sex oils and toys” for later on.

 

This sets Gunn off who leaves the ring to charge at Noble and ducks a shot with the “Love Case” and kicks it right back into his face. “That’s a fragrant love scented candle, bitch!” Kudos to whoever gets where that’s from.

 

Gunn opens the case and is stunned to find oils and a ball and gag inside. He gets into the ring as the bell rings and hits a massive tilt a whirl slam and connects with a flurry of right hands. Gunn hits a reverse powerbomb and sets up Noble in the corner for a splash, but misses and Noble barely grazes Gunn with a dropkick that sends him to the outside. Tazz makes a funny as he says that the only oils he uses is “Castrol GTX. Drive Hard, you know what I’m sayin.” Noble with a pescado to the outside and Gunn begins to sell the knee. Noble dropkicks Gunn, who was in a seated position as Noble’s girlfriend Nidia comes to the ringside area. Back in the ring now, Noble works on the knee momentarily before Gunn is able to avoid a kick and hits The One and Only.

 

Gunn gets up, connects with several right hands and hits a nice hiptoss into a neckbreaker (Jorge Estrada’s “All Shook Up” from TNA) and gets a two count out of it. Gunn goes for the Fameasser, but can’t quite extend the leg because of the knee and Noble is able to escape. Gunn hits a Diamond Cutter for a quick two count and Noble dreams of filling Torrie with his white redneck ooze were almost crushed in an instant. Gunn heads to the top, but Noble is able to crotch him by going after the bad wheel. Noble goes up top with Gunn and hits a DDT off the 2nd rope! ONE…TWO…Nidia puts Gunn’s foot on the bottom rope!

 

Noble goes to the outside to yell at Nidia for that and Torrie sneaks up from behind Noble. She attempts to slap him, but Noble catches her and plants a big one on her lips…and gets slapped her both Nidia AND Torrie.

 

Noble gets back into the ring and ducks a clothesline from Gunn before landing a dropkick to the knee. Noble bounces off the ropes, but Torrie holds onto his leg and gets Noble’s attention before Gunn is able to attack Jamie from behind. He sets him up for the Gunnslinger, but Noble lands on his feet and tosses Gunn into Torrie before rolling him up and grabbing the tights for the pinfall.

 

The crowd pops because they know what it means as Torrie uses the worst acting possible to display disgust at the thought of sleeping with Noble on Thursday. Nidia storms off to the back upset as well…

 

Winner: Jamie Noble

 

My Opinion: It was rather obvious prior to the match that Noble was surely going to win seeing as how this match would have no purpose otherwise. Gunn already beat Noble clean on the Smackdown prior and now on this upcoming Smackdown, Torrie will probably find some cheap way to get out of sleeping with Noble in a bad skit. Why is she always involved in the worst skits? What does Torrie Wilson do anyway? Yes, she’s good looking, but she’s terrible on the mic AND the ring and doesn’t have much in the way of charisma to begin with.

 

The match was alright as Noble bumped hard and tried to work in some knee psychology, but there were two things at fault. One: they didn’t have a lot of time. Two: it’s Billy Gunn. A man that Chris Benoit couldn’t even get a great match out of. I do like the added moves in his repertoire, but I’d like to see him use them on guys who aren’t Cruisers. *3/4

 

In the back, Funaki is with the APA and shows us some footage of the APA mess from this past Thursday. Bradshaw then invites Funaki to the Brawl. As Bradshaw cuts a promo about the upcoming fight, the Easter Bunny comes hopping by…

 

Simmons: “Well I’ll be DAMNED!”. Cute, short, unoffensive segment.

 

APA Invitational Brawl

 

Match Background: While this isn’t exactly a match per se, the APA have invited a bunch of lower midcarders and comedy acts to the first APA Invitational Brawl. Not much is known about the rules, but it seems to be some sort of bar fight and all of the participants aren’t known. Those who are definitely involved though are Sean O’Haire, Brother Love, Doink The Clown, the APA themselves, Spanky and the Brooklyn Brawler.

 

The Match: At first glance, the men in the match are the APA, The Basham Brothers, Spanky, Orlando Jordan, Kanyon, Funaki, Matt and John from Tough Enough 3, the FBI, Sean O’Haire, the Easter Bunny, Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, Doink the Clown, the Brooklyn Brawler, Brother Love and two men dressed as the Conquistadors.

 

Only a select few get their own entrances and Spanky starts dancing to them all on the top of the bar.

 

For the record, there’s a small bar set up near the side of the entrance ramp where all of the competitors are in close proximity of each other.

 

Bradshaw gets on the mic and tells them that the rules are simple. No rules…the last man drinking wins.

 

Brother Love takes the mic from Bradshaw and begins preaching. He goes on way too long and the crowd actively starts booing until he kicks the contest off by breaking a car stool over the backs of the Conquistadores and they’re immediately eliminated.

 

Spanky gets tossed off the bar through a table by the Bashams and the Brawler puts down Doink with a bar stool as well. Orlando Jordan is taken down by the FBI. Sean O’Haire takes the Easter Bunny’s costume head, turns it around and punches him in the face. As everyone brawls, Funaki is still sitting at the bar, still drinking. Bradshaw takes out Kanyon as O’Haire takes two pool cues and stands on the bar. Bradshaw heads towards him and gets cracked in the head with a pool cue, breaking it in half. The same happens to Simmons as he approaches O’Haire as well. Nunzio takes a bad kick from O’Haire…who then takes a somersault plancha off the top of the bar from Shannon Moore! Brother Love then relives the Barber Shop days as he puts Shannon Moore through one of the bar’s windows. The Bashams toss Nunzio into the bar itself, with all of the bottles falling on him. The Easter Bunny gets tosses through some glass as well. The Brawler goes after Bradshaw, but gets put down. The Bashams go after Kanyon and try to put him through a table, but can’t. Matt Hardy gets on top of the bar, removes his shirt and legdrops both the Bashams and Kanyon on the table…which doesn’t break. He goes to repeat the spot and does so…but the table is more resilient than anyone else in the match.

 

Bradshaw takes a look at Funaki…who is still drinking and hasn’t brawled with anyone yet. Funaki gets up to celebrate…and falls backwards drunk.

 

Brother Love is still in it, but Ron Simmons is behind him. Bradshaw hits him with a beer bottle and the ref declares Bradshaw the winner.

 

Winner: Bradshaw

 

My Opinion: How in the world was Bradshaw the winner if Ron Simmons was clearly still in it? Ah yes…Bradshaw has a book coming out. As long as he doesn’t get a singles push, I couldn’t care less. Sean O’Haire was impressive during the contest, dominating the APA at one point. The brawl was pretty fun and it had some cool visuals, but of course…zero wrestling aside from two legdrops by Matt Hardy and a somersault plancha. Therefore, it gets a 1/2* from me.

 

In the back, Jamie Noble is perusing through the Torrie Wilson Playboy mag and asks a member of the ring crew to take a look before gloating. Noble actually holds the magazine in a position where you could see some of the pics…but correctly fixes it quickly. The crew member asks “What about Nidia?” and Noble basically blows her off saying that she’ll get over it.

 

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team for the WWE Tag Team Titles

 

Match Background: This is a match that seemed to be thrown together for the sake of giving these guys something to do. Granted, it’ll probably be good and I’m looking forward to it, but the build up has been minimal. Three weeks ago, former WCW World Tag Team and Cruiserweight Tag Team Champions, Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman, won a 4 way tag team match to become the number one contenders to the WWE Tag Team Titles. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, formerly Team Angle and now known as The World’s Greatest Tag Team, have been involved in the main events on Smackdown as of late and haven’t interacted with Rey and Kidman at all. The most we’ve seen in terms of a build up for this match was Rey and Kidman picking up some momentum with tag wins and Haas and Benjamin watching their matches in the back on a monitor. That is IT.

 

The Match: Cole actually refers to Rey and Kidman’s reign in WCW, even going as far as calling them the Filthy Animals. Benjamin and Rey start with Benjamin gaining the upper hand on the mat before a clean break. Rey connects with the first major move of the match up with a head scissors that takes Shelton down before tagging in Kidman, who comes in for the double team and a two count. Kidman takes it a step further with a tornado-esque head scissors that pops the crowd, but Shelton slams him down right after. Haas comes in and school boys Kidman immediately for a two count.

 

Kidman is able to get a flying forearm off an irish whip, but Haas is able to take over and puts Kidman on the ropes, setting him up for a cravate. Haas misses and Kidman holds him while he tags into Mysterio, who hits a springboard legdrop. That’s the most realistic way I’ve ever seen someone connect with a springboard dropkick to someone in that position. Then again, it took two people to set it up and its normally done in one on one contests.

 

Rey goes for his wheel barrow bulldog, but Haas counters it in midair into an Edge-O-Matic for a two count. Haas RAMS Rey into the corner HARD with an irish whip two times in a row and then hits him with a unique slam for two. Benjamin comes in and elevates Rey up high for a two count. He hooks Rey with a chinlock, but Mysterio battles out and ends up connecting with a front dropkick. He charges with a a rana that Benjamin rolls though, but can’t escape the basement dropkick to the face.

 

Both men make a tag and Kidman is a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO~! landing dropkicks on both men and a BAAACK body drop on Haas before a spinebuster for two. Kidman goes towards the corner to set up a head scissors on Haas, but Benjamin catches him and puts him in place for the leapfrog splash to the back. Benjamin comes off the ropes for it, but gets tripped up by Mysterio who pulls him to the outside. Kidman then head scissors Haas into the ropes and into position for the 619, but Benjamin returns the favor and trips up Mysterio. Rey kicks Benjamin off and connects with a springboard plancha to the outside as Kidman elevates Haas over the top to the outside as well!

 

Haas and Benjamin get up as Kidman stands on the middle of the top rope…and hits a SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE~! The crowd erupts in a “Holy Shit” chant, as expected as we get a replay on it. He tosses Haas in, goes for the cover…ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Kidman then charges at Haas, but gets elevated up and over onto the apron and lands some right hands. With Haas staggered, Kidman looks to set up a move off the apron, but Benjamin comes running in and whips Kidman into the ring post from the apron, sending him crashing to the floor! Haas tosses Kidman in and gets a two count off of it.

 

Benjamin and Haas combine for a SICK tag team maneuver as Benjamin picks up Kidman for a scoop slam across Haas’ KNEE and they get a two count off of it. Benjamin, working on the back, sets up a bow and arrow with a bridge, which he transitions into a regular bow and arrow later on in a nice spot. With Kidman now in trouble, Haas comes in and connects with some stomps on the back and then whips him sternum first into the turnbuckle and puts on a surfboard stretch. Kidman tosses Haas out of the ring in desperation and goes to tag Rey, but Benjamin draws the official, who then forces Rey back to the corner because he didn’t see the tag. Double suplex on Kidman also gets a two count and then Benjamin actually powerbombs Kidman! Benjamin goes for it again, but Kidman remembers his counter for it and hits it…and finally tags in Rey.

 

Rey is a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO~! as he comes in with a springboard somersault (which barely grazes Benjamin) and hits a NASTY enziguiri on him as well. He gets a sunset flip on Benjamin for two and then turns a springboard wheel barrow into a DDT! ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Haas comes in, but Kidman knees him from the apron, allowing Rey to dropkick him from behind and set him up for the 619! He hits it and then hits a springboard senton and looks for a cover, but Benjamin comes in with a big boot to the head to get Mysterio off. Benjamin and Kidman both go over the top rope with a clothesline and Haas covers Mysterio for a close two count as well.

 

Benjamin comes in and argues with the ref as Kidman sets up Haas on the top rope and alley oops Rey up top with a rana! Rey goes for the cover as Kidman holds up Benjamin…

 

ONE…TWO…NO!!!! EVERYONE thought that was IT! Most people in the crowd began celebrating until they realized that Haas kicked out!

 

They start chanting “Bullshit” as Kidman catches a Benjamin kick, only to EAT his spin kick counter and sends Kidman to the outside! Rey catches Haas with a dropkick to the back and gets on his shoulders for a rana…but Benjamin comes flying in with a springboard hooking neckbreaker off of Haas’ shoulders! ONE…TWO…THREE!

 

Winners: The World’s Greatest Tag Team

 

Cole starts complaining that Benjamin wasn’t the legal man…but the replay reveals a blind tag, allowing Benjamin to come in! Cole immediately retracts his statement as the tag champs celebrate up the ramp.

 

My Opinion: This is the difference between the Smackdown Tag Champs and the Raw Tag Champs. While Benjamin and Haas beat two good wrestlers clean using real tag team wrestling, despite being heels, they look one hundred times stronger than La Resistance, who jobbed to Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade on Heat last week…and aren’t even on Raw every week.

 

Rey and Kidman, who aren’t usually a tag team, put it together and were both pretty much on during the match up, with the exception of a blown spot by Rey and some poor selling by Kidman at times. At times, it resembled a small spotfest, but it was still gold. It’s just amazing how good Benjamin and Haas are as a tag team at this stage of their careers. ****1/4

 

This year’s SummerSlam commercial plays as we get the most hilarious visual of the half year so far…Brock Lesnar F5’in a SHARK!

 

We get a video package for Sable/Steph as we prepare for the next match.

 

Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon

 

Match Background: This was an off shoot of the Vince McMahon/Zach Gowen feud as Vince McMahon began to doubt the business decisions of his daughter and Smackdown GM, Stephanie McMahon. He then made Sable Stephanie’s new assistant, which didn’t please Stephanie in the least. Together, Sable and Vince combined to make fun of Zach Gowen at every opportunity, which also didn’t please Stephanie at all. At Zach Gowen’s contract signing, Sable blindsided Stephanie with a clipboard and waffled her over the head with it, kickstarting this rivalry. Moments later, in the back, Stephanie charged at Sable and tussled with her until they were able to be separated. Vince then made a match between Stephanie and Sable for Vengeance. After a few other catfights, Sable then tried to lure Stephanie into the back parking lot this past week on Smackdown. Stephanie gave chase and ended up stripping Sable of her top before she was able to hop into a limo to escape. Vince then appeared and told Stephanie that after her match with Sable at Vengeance, should she be unable to serve as GM, Sable would take her place.

 

Oh yeah…both women are former WWE Women’s Champions. Yep…

 

The Match: This match is labeled as a “No count out Catfight” by ring announcer Tony Chimel as the match starts. Stephanie charges at Sable on the rampway as the match starts and pulls her by her hair towards the ringside area. She tosses her into the ring, wedgie first, and Sable tries to skip out through the crowd. Stephanie gives chase and tosses her back over the top of the guard rail before clotheslining her weakly on the floor. She tosses Sable into the ring, who connects with an ugly dropkick to the head and working over Stephanie in the corner with some kicks. Sable then taunts Steph before pulling her out of the corner in a big bump for Daddy’s Little Girl for a two count. Sable connects with a kick on Steph’s back before grinding over her body. Sable looks at referee Brian Hebner seductively and gets rolled up by Steph for a two count. She pays for it by tasting the palm of Sable’s hand with a hard slap. A second hard slap in the corner by Sable leads to an irish whip…and she gives chase only to EAT Steph’s elbow in the FACE. Cole: “Stephanie…with perhaps that McMahon POWER, may have begun to kick in here!” Steph gets an UGLY spear takedown and then pulls Sable by the hair for a two count. Sable bails once again, but Steph takes the fight to her on the outside. She goes to get a chair, which is taken away by the ref so Steph attacks with forearms instead. Back in the ring now, she catches a Sable kick and slaps her in the face. Steph gets a rolling neck snap and then proceeds to kick Sable directly in the ass. In the corner, Sable covers up as Steph does her poorest impression of a ground and pound that I’ve ever seen. Steph attempts to remove Sable’s top, so the ref separate the two. Stephanie pushes the ref back, but takes a kick to the midsection from Sable to get some space between the two. The ref takes his shirt off to put on Sable and as this is going on, A-Train comes running in and literally runs right over Stephanie before taking off through the crowd.

 

Sable gets on top of Steph for the pinfall and the win.

 

Winner: Sable

 

The crowd actually pops for Steph as she’s helped to the back. And to think…most people didn’t think that Stephanie would ever garner a face reaction about a year ago.

 

My Opinion: For everything that they did right, they did about 4 things wrong. The match was mighty sloppy, pretty boring and it didn’t even have a clean finish. Not that it would have helped much, but it looks like A-Train is headed towards another push that most likely won’t go anywhere. It also looks as if Steph was put out of commission by Train and so we’ll most likely get some poor skits on Smackdown with Sable as acting GM. -**

 

The announcers dub the following match “Old School vs. New School” as we get a video package for it…

 

The Undertaker vs. John Cena

 

Match Background: Sadly, this match has had so little build up to it that I almost forgot it was even on the card. A year ago, Kurt Angle called out any rookie in the back to come in and face him, which is when John Cena debuted. After a good match, Angle was able to eek out the victory and the Undertaker gave Cena a handshake afterwards out of respect for his tenacity and talent. Back in June at Madison Square Garden, John Cena cut a promo about now being a Smackdown veteran, having been in the WWE for over a year. In commemoration of this event, he then called out someone new from the back to face him, like he did when Kurt Angle did the same a year ago. Orlando Jordan made his debut then and lost to Cena after the Doctor of Thuginomics held onto the tights for the win. Cena then attacked Jordan after the bell, but the Undertaker rode down on his bicycle, chasing Cena away. Undertaker then shook Jordan’s hand, like he did to Cena when he debuted. Cena took exception to this and told The Undertaker that he had no respect for him anymore. In the opening round of the US Title Tournament, John Cena lost to Billy Gunn after The Undertaker distracted Cena. The following week, Cena ate a big boot from the ‘Taker and that was the last interaction these two have had until tonight. In all fairness, The Undertaker recently lost his father and hasn’t been on the road lately. Cena, in the meantime, has been cutting promos and vignettes left and right about The Undertaker. In recent weeks, however, Cena has been cutting promos with Kurt Angle, Vince and Stephanie McMahon, all unrelated to his “feud” with The Undertaker. Tonight, ‘Taker is back and ready to face Cena in a one on one match up.

 

The Match: Cena takes THE STICK~! before the match up to cut his usual pre-match rap.

 

I don’t need tattoos and leather pants to try to act cool

I got throwbacks and steel chains, I lead the New School

It’s time to take out the evil, keep em restin’ in pieces

I’m a eat you alive dog, they’ll find your bones in my feces

I’m aight, I’m untouchable, this won’t be a fight

I’ll walk away with his bike and he can suck my tail pipe

He had a good run, but its bye bye see you later

I’m the real dark side, half machine like Darth Vader

I’m way better than Dead Man, you just another dead sucker

You think he’s beat John Cena, then yous a STUPID MOTHER…*raises mic*

 

Ahh, my virgin ears!

 

Taker takes for-fucking-ever to get into the ring and annoys me.

 

They lock up and Taker over powers the smaller Cena into the corner. The ref separates the two and Cena comes back with a slap to the Taker’s face…which upsets him very much. He charges at him, but Cena ducks and hits some punches to the midsection and right hands to the face. Taker tosses Cena into the corner and goes after some punches, but Cena covers up…except for the last blow to the ribs. Taker big boots Cena to the outside and continues the beat down, ramming him into the barricade. Cena takes a swig of water as Taker goes into the ring to break the count and then sprays it into Taker’ face to blind him. It works only for a second as Taker whips Cena into the guard rail HARD chest first and continues to stalk his prey. He rams Cena into the steel post and continues the onslaught.

 

Taker then sets Cena’s head on the apron and he hits a legdrop off of the apron onto Cena’s throat! Taker starts taunting Cena with his words and he continues to punk him out. ‘Taker gets a two count and puts on a key lock, but doesn’t get the tap out. Cena gets up and tries to fight back, but gets tossed to the outside like a sack of potatoes. ‘Taker goes Old School and hits the rope walk clothesline and then hits a BIG chokeslam! ONE…TWO…NO! ‘Taker picks Cena up before the three count…which, according to the unwritten rules of wrestling, doesn’t bode well for him. ‘Taker sets Cena up for the Last Ride, but Cena slips out and connects with a DDT!

 

Cena crawls towards the turnbuckles and goes to expose the top turnbuckle. Before he can finish, he goes after Taker with some big boots and chokes. The ref goes to attend ‘Taker, so Cena goes to work on the turnbuckle again, almost done with it. He sees Taker getting up and stops working on it to beat on him some more. He goes for a right hand, but ‘Taker blocks it and hits one of his own. ‘Taker goes to work on him in the corner and then connects with a clothesline from across the ring. ‘Taker sets himself up for a second as Cena pulls the pad off finally and Taker comes charging right into it as Cena ducks! ‘Taker starts selling the ribs and Cena shoulder tackles ‘Taker out of the ring to get a moment’s rest. ‘Taker connects with an uppercut from the floor, but Cena knees ‘Taker off of the apron onto the guard rail and works on his ribs some more. ‘Taker starts bleeding internally (read as: he starts bleeding from the mouth) and Cena starts kicking him in the ribs. ‘Taker tries to fight back, but his ribs are still hurting him too much and Cena is able to take over. ‘Taker tries a big boot, which Cena ducks, but Cena can’t duck the hooking clothesline and ‘Taker gets a two count. Cena gets up and once again goes for the ribs. Cena goes to slam ‘Taker, but he slips out and puts on his Dragon Sleeper (Takin Care of Business), only for Cena to quickly get to the ropes. Cena recovers and connects with a spinebuster for a two count. Cena once again goes after the ribs with knees to the midsection. ‘Taker gets up and takes the advantage in a slugfest, getting another clothesline and crawling over for a two count. ‘Taker signals for the Tombstone, but Cena slips out and goes for the FU! Taker slips out of that and connects with a big boot to the chest and a legdrop for a two count.

 

‘Taker works over Cena in the corner and it looks as if he’s choking him. The ref pulls ‘Taker off, so Cena is able to grab his steel chain from the corner and nails ‘Taker in the ribs with it! Cena slowly stalks Taker and hits the FU! ONE…TWO…NO! DAMN YOU UNDERTAKER!

 

John Cena has as much frustration on his face as I do, so he turns to ‘Taker and starts pounding away at him. Cena takes ‘Taker into the corner and continues punching away at his ribs and then makes the cardinal mistake by standing on the ropes to punch his face. ‘Taker heaves Cena out of the corner, ala Triple H at WM 17 and Last Rides him down to the canvas. ONE…TWO…THREE.

 

Winner: The Undertaker

 

My Opinion: So much for “building new stars”, huh? Cena needed the win. This was the closest that Cena has gotten to beating a top star. He didn’t come this close against Brock at Backlash, whatsoever. ‘Taker sold a hell of a lot for Cena, but when it came right to it, a steel chain to weakened ribs followed by Cena’s finisher isn’t enough to put him down for the three count. Now THAT bugs the shit out of me. **1/4.

 

We get a video package on Zach Gowen vs. Vince McMahon, which includes a lot of the same things that was shown on Confidential. For the record, I think he’s getting a hell of a lot more backlash than the kid deserves. It’s not like HE’s the one booking the shows. I think Zach would be just as happy to be wrestling on Velocity every week, so stop hating, will ya?

 

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

 

Match Background: An offshoot of the Vince McMahon/Hulk Hogan feud, Zach Gowen made his WWE debut a little before Judgment Day when he attempted to come to Mr. America’s (Hulk Hogan) defense against Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire. Zach Gowen had the desire to become a WWE superstar and believed that Mr. America would be his way into the company, which Vince McMahon was vehemently against. At Judgment Day, Zach Gowen prevented Vince from interfering at the end of the Mr. America/Piper match, causing Vince to turn his attention to Zach and his dream. With the power to make it come true, Vince held his power hostage, telling his daughter and Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon that she cannot offer Zach a contract. With Mr. America fired by Vince McMahon, Vince wanted to make Zach work for it and challenged the puny, one-legged wrestler to an arm wrestling contest. Vince kicked Zach’s leg from under him to win the challenge and told Zach that he didn’t want any freaks in his company. After Stephanie McMahon made Vince McMahon feel guilty about business practices in the past, Vince attempted to apologize to Zach, but Zach didn’t want an apology…he wanted a contract. Vince told him that he’d give it to him if Zach joined the Kiss My Ass Club…but Zach low blowed Vince instead. This lead to Vince making a match between The Big Show and Gowen & Stephanie, with the stipulation being that if Gowen & Steph were successful, he’d get the contract. With help from Angle and Lesnar, Gowen was able to hit a moonsault on Show and get the pin and won his contract. Gowen, now under contract, was under Vince’s authority and Vince booked a match between himself and Gowen for tonight, his first one on one encounter since entering the company.

 

The Match: Gowen takes his prosthetic off before the match starts and Gowen gets overpowered into the corner during each lock up. Gowen goes for another lock up, but Vince puts him on the mat with amateur take down and a hip toss and then slams him down. Gowen gets up and goes for a roll up on Vince, but McMahon is able to hold onto the ropes…and then clotheslines the SHIT out of Gowen, which gets a replay. In the corner, Vince uses his strength to nail Gowen…but the kid continues to fight back, unsuccessfully. Gowen gets up and fights back with some back elbows…and then elevates Vince up and over the top. Gowen then, using the ropes, kicks Vince away from the ring, up towards the bottom of the ramp. Gowen gets on the apron…ONE LEGGED ASAI MOONSAULT~!

 

Gowen hops back into the ring as we get a GREAT angle on the replay. Vince comes back into the ring, only to eat a pair of legdrops and finally a legdrop off the second rope! He goes for the pin, but Vince powers out of it with ease. Vince trips him up and starts working on Zach’s ONLY leg. Zach tries to fight out of it, poorly, as the refs talk about the disadvantage that Zach is in without another leg to use for leverage. Tasteless sign in the crowd reads: “Got Leg?” as Vince rams Zach’s leg into the mat several times. Vince dares Zach to get up…which he does, using the ropes…and then Vince kicks his only good leg out from under him to MASSIVE boos. Vince flexes for the crowd to get some more heel heat before ramming Zach’s leg into the ring post.

 

Zach tries to get up with Vince in the ring now…but Vince puts on a single leg crab and Cole wants Zach to tap out. Tazz puts over the fact that if the ref stops the match, Vince will fire him, so Zach is on his own. He’s able to get to the ropes and get a ring break, but Vince is relentless. He pulls Zach off of the ropes and Zach tries to kick back in retaliation…so Vince oversells it to mock him. Some more kicks to the same leg and Vince is actually feeling pain in his knee now. The crowd comes alive as Gowen gets to his um…foot slowly. He kicks Vince in the chest as he charges and then flips over him to connect with a second! He starts punching Vince on the mat and pulls him towards the ring post. He crotches Vince and then rams HIS leg into it several times to a big pop. He’s almost counted out, but makes it back into the ring just on time.

 

Vince gets on his feet, limping and Gowen jumps to the top and comes off with a bulldog attempt (that he botches) and McMahon is down! Gowen then climbs to the top and connects with a dropkick, which Cole calls a missile dropkick. Gowen sets up Vince….and hits the ONE LEGGED MOONSAULT~! ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Zach goes to pick up Vince, but gets raked in the eyes. Vince goes to the outside and grabs a chair, bringing it to the ring. The ref tries to stop him from using the chair, but gets tossed to the outside. Vince, selling his own knee injury, gets down on one knee holding the chair and Zach dropkicks it into his face! Vince is busted WIDE open as he is just GUSHING blood! That was probably the quickest, nastiest bladejob EVER. Zach takes the chair and uses it on Vince’s back and heads back to the top! Zach misses the moonsault and Vince goes for the cover. ONE…TWO…THREE!

 

Winner: Vince McMahon

 

After the match, blood is just POURING out of Vince’s forehead and the replay makes it look MIGHTY hardway. That is SICK! Vince is able to walk to the back alone though…

 

The camera now focuses on Zach, who gets up to a loud reaction, with a smatter of boos. Not exactly the type of ovation that Chris Benoit got at the Royal Rumble, but then again…it looked like WWE set this one up on purpose. Zach puts his prosthetic on and walks back up the ramp alone.

 

My Opinion: The match wasn’t great, but I don’t think anyone really expected it to. It consisted of Vince being ruthless and Zach selling like crazy, getting sporadic spurts of offense in once in a while. In terms of sheer emotion and drama, this match didn’t compare to Hogan/McMahon…but it had better work involved, sadly. *1/4

 

In the back, Josh Matthews asks Eddie Guerrero if he feels his US Title win is tainted because of Rhyno’s interference. Of course, Eddie Guerrero says no and says that Eddie doesn’t need or want any friends and the reason why is proven by Rhyno turning on Benoit. All he needs is the US Title.

 

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show for the WWE Title

 

Match Background: After feuding for the better part of four months, Brock Lesnar defeated Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania 19 for the WWE Title and after the match, Angle was out for two months with a career threatening neck injury. Since then, Brock has been feuding with his long time rival, The Big Show, who was the first man to pin him and took the title from him at last year’s Survivor Series. Kurt Angle then made his return as a babyface and made his intentions known…he wanted the WWE Title again. The Big Show interrupted his speech and told Angle that he’d have to wait in line, attacking him and luring out Brock Lesnar in the process. After dispatching of Show, it was revealed that Angle and Lesnar had become good friends and since then, have teamed up several times against the Big Show. When the Big Show faced Zach Gowen on Smackdown, both Angle and Lesnar came in and caused Show to lose, leading Vince McMahon to make the match at Vengeance into a triple threat match for the WWE Title. Also, as punishment for their interference, Angle and Lesnar both faced The Big Show & The World’s Greatest Tag Team in 3-on-1 Handicap matches in back to back weeks. This past week on Smackdown, the sides were finally even as Angle and Lesnar teamed up with Zach Gowen against The Big Show & The World’s Greatest Tag Team. After the match, Angle and Lesnar finally came to blows only to be double chokeslammed by The Big Show at the end of the event.

 

This isn’t the first time that these three men were involved in a triangle for the WWE Title. Back in December, Kurt Angle defeated The Big Show for the WWE Title with Brock Lesnar’s interference, only to reveal later that it was part of a master plan by the former manager of all three men, Paul Heyman.

 

The Match: Tony Chimel does some VERY interesting ring announcing as first he declares the match No DQ, informing Tazz and Cole about it…and then says “the first man to catch a pinfall will be the new champion”. I thought I was the only person who spoke that way. The ring announcing hijinx continue as Chimel then declares The Big Show, the first man to have an entrance for this match, as “one of the champions…the Big Show!”

 

At the bell, all three men are sizing each other up, but Kurt and Brock stare each other down specifically. They both then go after the Show, but Show double clotheslines both men and tosses out Angle. Brock tries his hand at Show, but immediately gets chokeslammed and Show goes for the pin, but it’s broken up by Angle. Wow…a finisher within the first 30 seconds of the match?

 

Show MASSIVELY chops Angle in the corner now, with Brock on the outside, but Angle tries to counter by utilizing a German Suplex. Show’s just too big for him and he well…uses his ass, literally, to get Angle off of him. Angle tries to come back against the Show with right hands and a cross body, but he’s caught and Show goes for the Final Cut. Angle slips out of it and hooks on the Anklelock, but Show actually counters it!

 

Show prevents Brock from getting back into the ring before going back to face Angle again and knocking him down with a kick to the chest and a legdrop. Show goes for the pinfall, but Brock makes the save. Brock gets his shoulder blocks in the corner on Show and follows it up with a flying forearm off the 2nd rope to knock him down. Brock then attempts the F5, but Show connects with a clubbing blow to the back and hits the Final Cut on Brock for a two count.

 

Angle comes into the ring with garbage can lids and wails on Show. Brock takes one and they treat Show like a pinball, teaming up for the last blow and knocking him down. Angle and Brock then attempt a double suplex on Show…but Show overpowers them both and suplexes THEM.

 

Show then goes for a double chokeslam on both men, but both Brock and Angle kick out of it and chokeslam SHOW! Brock goes for the cover…and Angle pulls him off and both men finally confront each other in the ring. After several shoves, Brock lands the first blow with a clothesline. Brock is able to land the F5 and Angle rolls out to the floor.

 

Show gets up and Brock is just waiting…Brock picks him up and performs the move. He crawls over for the pin…ONE…TWO…the ref is pulled out by Angle!

 

Brock goes to the outside with Angle and brawls with him on the outside, sending him into the steel steps and then the ring post. Show gets up in the ring, only for Brock to come back in as well and attempt to knock him down with clotheslines. Show connects with a clothesline of his own and a BIG elbowdrop that Brock sells like DEATH for two.

 

Angle is bleeding from the forehead on the outside as Show has the advantage in the ring. Show places Brock on the top turnbuckle and heads up top for a superplex. Tazz and Cole remind us that the last time those two came down in the ring with that much weight at once, the ring collapsed! Angle tries to get up and stop them from the apron, but gets shoved down by Show. The distraction is enough as the BEAST known as Brock Lesnar comes out of the corner with Show on his shoulders for a RUNNING POWERBOMB! The crowd chants about celestial feces as Brock crawls over for the cover…but Angle comes in and nails Brock in the back with a chair to break it up. Angle NAILS Brock in the head with the chair, sending the Champion to the outside and the Olympic Gold Medalist goes for the cover on Show himself. ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Angle in the ring, connects with some more chairshots on Show and heads to the outside with him. He charges at him with the chair in hand, only for Show to put his boot up and ram it back into Angle’s face. Show sets up the Spanish Announce Table to put Angle through, but Angle is able to counter the chokeslam with the Angle Slam through the table!

 

All three men are now down on the outside! Brock is on the other side of the ring bleeding, while Show and Angle are near the announcers downed!

 

Angle and Brock make it into the ring, weakly…and stare at each other from across the ring. Angle and Brock eventually get to their feet, staring a hole at each other the entire time. Angle starts out with right hands and gets the advantage with them, but Brock battles back and tosses Angle over the top rope! Brock goes after Angle, but gets whipped into the steel steps himself. He bounces Lesnar’s face into the steps several times before they go back into the ring…and Angle hits the Rolling Germans! Angle then flips Lesnar up and over ONTO HIS FACE with the last German! Angle goes for the cover and only gets a two count though.

 

Angle looks fired up now as he takes the straps off and goes for the Angle Slam, but Lesnar counters and connects with a spinebuster. Lesnar gets a nearfall off of it and both men are down again. Brock eventually gets to his feet and puts on a gutwrench on the mat, squeezing the life out of Angle. The ref lifts Angle’s arms twice and goes to drop it a third time, but Show comes back in and legdrops Brock! He covers both men…ONE…TWO…NO!

 

Show is PISSED and signals for chokeslams on both. He sets it up and HITS IT! He covers Brock for ONE…TWO…NO! He then covers Angle…ONE…TWO…NO! Brock broke up the nearfall on Angle! Show is ANGRY now and goes for a chokeslam on Lesnar, but eats a low blow. Angle and Lesnar go at it now and Lesnar ends up shoulder blocking the ring post…so Angle puts on the Anklelock on Lesnar from there! Show gets up only to get an Angle Slam in the ring by Angle! Angle then hits the Angle Slam on Lesnar in the middle of the ring!

 

ONE…TWO…THREE!!

 

Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Kurt Angle

 

My Opinion: WOW! Now THAT was certainly unexpected in two ways. The first is that Angle is now a four time champion, which didn’t surprise me…but him pinning Lesnar 100% clean did. Also, the match was VERY good, even though the Big Show was in it. I’ll admit it, Show has been booked very well as of late and was taken very seriously in this match up. It took a big bump on the outside to take him out of the match up for as long as he was. Kurt and Brock worked their asses off as well and it certainly showed. Dare I say that I honestly believe this match was better than their Wrestlemania match because there weren’t any blown spots and neither men were hurt, so they were able to go balls out. Bring me more! ****1/4.

 

Overall: Let’s compare Vengeance to Bad Blood, shall we? Smackdown’s first pay per view was a much better show than Raw’s first pay per view. Not only were the matches better (THREE matches **** or above) and flat out more entertaining, but it had very little in terms of backstage segments and those that we DID have all lead somewhere. Although the build up for Vengeance was mighty poor and the emphasis were on the two worst matches of the night, the rest of the card definitely made up for it and I have NO problem recommending this pay per view whatsoever. As a whole, this was probably the pay per view of the year.

 

‘Til next month’s SummerSlam…

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

Any questions, comments, whatever…send it all to [email protected].