OAOAST IntenseZone - 11/18/03

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

 

PYRO! PYRO! PYRO! AND STREAMERS! LOTS AND LOTS OF STREAMERS!

 

JR:

Fans, we are coming to you from the world-famous Korakuen Hall in the land of the Rising Sun, for tonight's broadcast of the ONLY International brand of OAOAST entertainment, IntenseZone!

 

Tonight, we've got a blockbuster main event, as the newest IntenseZone phenomenon, Ted Weddy, gets his shot at the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP against Calvin Szechstein! Ted has the chance to prove that IntenseZone is the place where stars are made, so don't turn that dial!

 

Also, Puerto Rican Lightning will defend the North American title against a legendary Puerto Rican wrestler. Names like Carlos Colon and Hercules Ayala Jr have been tossed around, so stay tuned!

 

All this, plus the RETURNED Stephen Joseph, Al Logan, the Dream Machines and much much more!

 

Hang on, wait a second fans, it looks like something interesting is brewing up already in Dan Black's office, let's take a look!

Edited November 23, 2003 by DuskTillDawn

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

We cut to the backstage, as Calvin taps his foot calmly inside the office of Dan Black, looking at his gold Rolex and tapping his foot a bit more...

 

The door swings open, and a growling Black steps through, sweat dripping down his face. He looks at Szechstein with daggers in his eyes, cuts bandaged up all over his face as he glares at Calvin. The smirking World champ shoots a cocky expression at the IZ GM.

 

CALVIN

Well, aren't we the sight for sore eyes. Nice win out there, Danno

 

BLACK

I appreciate the comraderie, Calvin. Any particular reason you're loitering in my office?

 

CALVIN

Well, I was actually hoping for one of those wit-filled, sharp-tongued conversations that our friends in TV-land have become so accustomed to. Then I saw the list of contenders for IZ in the Elimination chamber, and damn if that's not a better joke than anything I've ever come up with.

 

BLACK

Yeah, that was almost as good as heldDown's top four guys losing to a bunch of nobodies from a second-class wrestling federation... wait, that actually happened.

 

CALVIN

Dan, Dan, these are big words you speak, but I highly doubt that your merry band of bootlickers can stand up to us. Fluke losses aside, Dan, you've got to realize what you're putting at stake in this match. Who is going to take IntenseZone seriously if none of your three guys can come away with the title?

 

BLACK

Thankfully, Calvin, I won't have to worry about that. The only thing I have to worry about is you winning tonight, because what looks better? Three IZ guys overcoming overwhelming odds, or four IZ guys doing what everyone expected?

 

CALVIN

As if I'd lose, Dan.

 

BLACK

Well, you did manage to lose to four nobodies, I wouldn't put losing to Teddy Weddy beyond you.

 

CALVIN

Dan, Ted was second rate on my show, and now he's number one on yours? I'm sure he'll give me a run for my money, but the point is that I shouldn't have to prove I'm better than he is.

 

BLACK

Well, Calvin, maybe you're not

 

CALVIN

I'm not the idiot who gave Popick a way to wrestle again, either.

 

BLACK

And I'm not the idiot who won the world title and is playing second fiddle to the guy he beat for it.

 

Calvin stares at Black coldly.

 

CALVIN

I'll make you regret those words, Black.

 

Black gets in Calvin's face, the blood beginning to ooze out from under one of his bandaids.

 

BLACK

I'd like to see you try, Champ.

 

CALVIN

I'd love to... unfortunately.

 

Calvin backs away from Black, beginning to walk to the door.

 

CALVIN

I do have a World title defence to make, something I'm sure you'd know nothing about. Maybe if you keep reaching for those stars, Blackie.

 

Calvin shoots a cocky wink at Black as he opens the door and exits. Black glares after him, then goes to his desk, sitting down and pulling out a sheet of paper. He begins to write as we fade to black...

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR

We're back from that atrocious Macho Man CD commercial, by gawd, and Mario, err, Plushy Al Logan is in the ring, tirading against an invisible enemy. I assume he is waiting for Stephen Joseph. Stephen's been locked in a feud against both Dan Black's Goons and Alfdogg's Deadly Alliance. Since Al Logan is a follower of Alfdogg, one can only assume his goal tonight is to soften Stephen Joseph up for the Triple Threat Tag Team Match at Deadly Games

 

"Awww Naww" blares around the arena, and Stephen Joseph comes walking out with Jesse "The Body" Ventura in tow. Even Stephen's sporting a feather boa, and the two seem to have a blast walking down to the ring. Jesse takes the extra boa, and makes quite the fashion statement by putting two around his neck. Stephen Joseph climbs into the ring, and Al stops prattling on to invisible Joe, and stares death into Stephen Joseph.

 

::Bell Rings::

 

Stephen charges right at Al with a clothesline, but the stiff man refuses to sell, shaking it off. Stephen exchanges a few stiff chops, and Logan just walks right back into Stephen. Logan pushes Stephen down, flurrying rights and lefts to the point of opening up a wound above Stephen's left eye. Mario pulls him up by the neck and attempts to toss him, and yet Stephen is able to get both feet up and into Mario's head with a dropkick. Mario finally staggers some, and Stephen is sitting on the apron bewildered.

 

JR: What's gotten into Al Logan tonight. It's almost like he took something to not feel anything, and by gawd, its conteracting Stephen Joseph's offense.

 

Rolling out into the ring, Stephen consults with Jesse as Al Logan gets back up. Strategy over, Stephen slides back in, begging Mario to come closer. The stalking begins, with the referee now being distracted. Jesse's on the ring apron arguing with the referee. Just as we see this, Stephen nails a low kick on Al Logan. The ref nearly turns around, but Jesse pulls him back around and kisses him! Our ref is flushed face and scrambles back, spitting on the canvas while Jesse laughs delightly on the apron, hopping down. Stephen Joseph yells for the ref to come over, and he covers Mario.

 

JR

What an idea. The oldest cheat in the books, and Jesse writes a new chapter to it tonight! Aww, Mario kicks out!

 

Now only does Mario kick out but he starts "hulking" up! Stephen Joseph stares in disbelief, but not before Mario runs in with a running clothesline, flipping Stephen over once and onto his back. We hear groans of pain, and its obvious that one hurt. Mario poses for a minute, but decides to pull Stephen up from behind. Then from the crowd, a man jumps the railing and grabs Jesse, pulling him up...

 

JR

WHO THE HELL IS THAT? He's gotta be twice the weight of Jesse and alot tower. BY GAWD NO! JESSE was just powerbombed on the ringside barrier, breaking it in half!

 

Stephen, groggy and feeling Al trying to lock in a full nelson from behind, kicks low again, and follows up by grabbing underneath the dazed Logan's shoulders, pushing Logan upwards and skywards over Stephen's right shoulder, resting Al Logan's neck on Stephen's right shoulderblade, and pops downward in what is essentially an inverted Finality. Stephen covers Logan!

 

 

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

3!

 

 

The crowds cheer and rise as Stephen has his arm raised in victory, but Stephen soon looks over at Jesse being attended by EMT's. The AngleTron cuts on, and its Alfdogg!

 

Alfdogg

I see you beat Al Logan. But really, didn't I just beat you Stephen. I think you're down to three members now. HeheHEHE, HAHAHAHA

 

JR

What now! And what of Jesse, damn the Deadly Alliance, that's going too far!

 

[commercials]

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR:

Fans, we're back, and Jesse Ventura is still being attended to by the medics, and dammit, I've had it with Alfdogg and this Deadly Alliance! Jesse and I may not see eye-to-eye often, but he is an honorable man and a wrestling legend who didn't deserve that heinous attack by that pack of thugs! They'll pay BY GAWD they'll pay, somewhere down the line!

 

(a production assistant whispers in JR's ear)

 

What the hell?! Fans, there's some sort of altercation that apparently went on between Dan Black and Dangerous A during the break, roll the footage!

 

Graphic: "During the Break"

 

We’re backstage, and Dan Black is sitting in large room at a huge table. Stacks of sushi and rice surround him, with a huddle of Japanese waitors clustered around the table. Dan is munching on something, but suddenly stands and spits onto the floor! The waitors gasp and stand back.

 

BLACK

What the HELL is that crap?

 

One of the waitors shuffles nervously.

 

WAITOR

Ah…is blowfish, Mister Black. Very fine delicacy.

 

BLACK

Blowfish? You’re feeding me fish that BLOWS?

 

Dan angrily sweeps the platters of food off the table with a huge crash!

 

BLACK

I don’t know what the HELL I was thinking bringing IntenseZone out here! You feed me crap, my hotel room is frankly nowhere near whats good enough for a man in my position, and what’s more-

 

SLAM!

 

The door bursts open, to reveal Dangerous A~!

 

DA

Black!

 

The waitors all grin and nod and applaud DA wildly! Dan looks around and fixes them with a vicious glance.

 

BLACK

Oh, yeah you’re big stuff around these parts, aren’t you?

 

DA

If you mean did I learn my craft here, hone my skills, earn the respect of a nation and be the reason this arena is sold out, then yeah, I’m big stuff! And when I see you disrespecting a fine culture like this- you know what, it PISSES ME OFF!

 

The waitors applaud again!

 

BLACK

(Sighs) That’s great. Just great. Not only do you FAIL to take out Mad Cappa for me, not only do you sign up with that idiot Alfdogg in the Toothless Alliance, but now YOU are pissed with ME?

 

DA walks over and gets right in Dan’s face.

 

DA

I joined up with Alf because that’s where the powers heading. At Deadly Game, the whole of the OAOAST will see that when our team crushes yours and Stephen Joseph’s. As for tonight- here’s an open challenge- meet me in the ring later. You can even pick the type of match.

 

BLACK

I’m really not scheduled for a match…I have adminstrative duties to perform, people to see- you know, people think being a General Manager is all power and wealth- and well, it is, but you know, I have to-

 

DA

Whatever. I knew the first day I met you you were a coward.

 

Dangerous A turns to leave.

 

BLACK

Easy there…a coward? That’s a brave thing to say. Because I never turned down your offer. I’ll be happy to meet you out there, and make a fool of you in front of these people that somehow think you amount to something. The type of match?

 

Dan pauses, looks DA up and down, and says something in Japanese. DA smiles, nods, and Black stalks out. We cut back to our announce team.

 

JR

What did he say? BAH GAWD, what kind of match?

 

FUJI

Black say- “FIRST BLOOD”!

 

JR

MAH GAWD! First Blood match on IntenseZone tonight!

 

[commercials]

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

[The video fades in to Jay sitting on a park bench, the sounds of 3rd Strike's "Breathe it Out" playing in the background.

 

JAY:

The one North American title defense I had, that sticks in my memory the most, was the No-Rope Barbed Wire match against Jacob X. Nick Mondo, the deathmatch legend, raises my hand.

 

*clip of a bloodied Jay getting his arm raised by Mondo.*

 

Heavenly father make us stronger

 

JAY:

I still can't believe this, Mondo goes up to me and says, "Jay, you're gonna be great"...and I said to him, thanks Nick, but I'm already great. I'm gonna be the GREATEST.

 

 

*clip of the elimination chamber structure.*

 

Yeah we felt the pain that life can give.

 

JAY:

The time is almost upon us, Deadly Game, the OAOAST World Title on the line in the most dangerous matche ever devised, with six GREAT athletes... and one who's UNBREAKABLE. Crystal....

 

*clips of Jay and Crystal delivering the Total Elimination to Amazing Zero, and her hitting a top rope rana on Zero, followed up by Crystal nailing Jay with a dropkick*

 

And still insanity seems the only way I can feel humanity

 

Phenomenal, unpredictable, deceptively deadly.

 

*clip of Crystal taking the Colt 45 from Jay*

 

But not Unbreakable. Blurricane...

 

So try to understand we've got to save ourselves

 

*clips of Blurricane hitting a high crossbody on Jay, and delivering the Blur Effect to Jay. *

 

Superhuman, unreal, powerful.

 

*clip of Blurricane taking the STIFF~! Superkick from Jay*

 

But not Unbreakable. Puerto Rican Lightning....

 

Fucking coward go hide behind your false pride, street talking facade helps you justify this genocide

 

*clips of PRL hitting the FU Elbow on Jay and putting him through a table with the Annexation of Puerto Rico*

 

Sneaky, amoral, pure evil...

 

*clips of Jay hitting him with the Afterthought, a facebuster on tacks, and the famous fall off the Cage of Death.*

 

Certainly not Unbreakable. Ragdoll...

 

Fool you kill your brother and you think that makes you a man, try to tell his mother why she'll never see her son again

 

*Clips of Ragdoll clocking Jay with a Doll-inator, and a sunset flip powerbomb on the floor*

 

Vicious, insane, driven....

 

*Clips of Jay hitting him with the KT Driller from several different angles.*

 

Unbreakable? Nah. Zack Malibu....

 

Cuz our fate lies in our hands, it's you and no one else

 

*Clips of Zack hitting Jay with the Cross Special POP Drop, and School's Out.*

 

Dedicated, death-defying, heroic...

 

*Clips of Jay hitting Zack with the Afterthought and a brainbuster*

 

But not Unbreakable. And Calvin Szechstein....

 

Cry out...kill the violence...cry out...chant the freedom

 

*clips Calvin getting the Code Red Clash on Jay, and the FUBU 450*

 

A champion, that is about to be dethroned...

 

*Clips of Jay dropping Calvin with the Afterthought, and the KT Driller*

 

Crystal, Blurricane, Zack, Rags, PRL, Calvin... at Deadly Game, you're standing in the way of greatness.

 

Kill this fucking sickness, I need to feel my soul release

 

[Jay stares into the camera]

 

Move.

 

 

JAY DARRING

UNBREAKABLE

 

JR:

"Shooter" Jay Darring making a very strong statement- he's coming for the World title- this will be his third shot at the belt, will it be a charm? We're gonna see Jay in action later tonight...but right now, we understand the Dream Machines have just arrived, can we get a camera back there?

 

(We go backstage where the Dream Machines and Eddy are walking.)

 

PARKA

Good to have you back Eddy. How are you feeling?

 

EDDY

Not too bad...I still get headaches, but I'll be fine.

 

PK

Don't worry we're gonna make them pay for what they did!

 

EDDY

I heard about the El Camino...that sucks.

 

PARKA

Sucks doesn't even begin to describe it....oh great.

 

(The camera pans around to show TNT standing in the way.)

 

BRIDGES

Well look who's back.

 

EDDY

I don't want any trouble guys.

 

BURNS

We do! You're still holding our tag titles!

 

PARKA

Well come take them then!

 

(Suddenly OAOAST officials run in and stand between them.)

 

OAOAST OFFICIAL

That's it!! Since all of you cannot control yourselves you all cannot be around each other until the PPV!! If the Dream Machines attack TNT they will be stripped of the titles. If TNT attack the Dream Machines they will lose their title shot!

 

I don't even want to see you near each other!! Is that clear?

 

EVERYONE

Yes!

 

(Everyone goes their own ways as the two teams sneer at each other one more time.)

 

[commercials]

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR:

The rivalry between TNT and the Dream Machines is reaching a fever pitch, and it'll culminate at Deadly Game! Without a doubt TNT is the biggest challenge to date for PK and the Parka, can they overcome? Find out on Pay Per View!

 

Wait a minute, we're being joined by the legendary Mr. Fuji! Fuji-san, it is a pleasure to see you again!

 

FUJI:

And a pleasure to see you Jim Ross. On behalf of the Japanese people, I would like to thank you for bringing OAOAST entertainment to the Orient!

 

JR:

And your presence truly makes this a historic edition of IntenseZone-now it's time for Puerto Rican Lightning's Legends challenge- who's it gonna be?

 

*The AngleTron lights up with a video of San Juan, Puerto Rico. The crowd pops as they are suprised. As the video shows footage of different places of San Juan, an organ is heard playing a sweet, gentle song. The video shows the beautfiul beaches of San Juan. Follow by looks at Olde' San Juan. The organ music continues to play as the crowd becomes hyper waiting for PRL's appearance. The video shifts from San Juan to New York City. The video shows footage of Times Square. Follow by Madison Square Garden and the Statue of Liberty at night. The video then shows a helicopter circling NYC at night follow by a look at the Manhattan skyline. Then Yankee Stadium and the Brooklyn Bridge. The organ music changes by going a high note as an angelic choir joins in. The video shows the Empire State Building and a NYC nightclub before shifting to Miami, Florida. The organ music continues playing as the video shows Miami at night. It shows footage of Miami Beach follow by a birds eye view of Pro Player Stadium. Miami's many night clubs are shown as the organ music nears it's end with the crowd getting more and more excited to see PRL. The video then shows Orlando, Florida, more specifically, Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure. As the organ music ends, the lighthouse at Islands of Adventure is shown with the light from the lighthouse shinning in front of the camera as the word "LIGHTNING" is said in a whisper. A lightning bolt hits the entrance and the Japanese crowd pops big time. Smoke and pyro fills the entrance as the AngleTron shows a blue screen with the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" in big blue blocky letters. "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" starts up as the AngleTron shows PRL sneering at the camera in a broken down warehouse.*

 

JR:

Puerto Rican Lightning is here in Japan!

 

Mr. Fuji:

It is about time!

 

*The lights go down, as the fans see a silhoutte of someone near the entrance. The crowd pops then boo as they know it is the silhoutte of Puerto Rican Lightning. Puerto Rican Lightning raises his right arm which has the OaOasT North American Title. He then raises his left arm which has the Puerto Rican Championship. He turns around as the lights go back on and the crowd begins booing big time. The Lightning Crew follow him out of the entrance and they are also met with loud boos and chants. The crowd begins throwing garbage and chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL walks to the ring, cocky, and confident as usual. The Lightning Crew walk behind him watching his back. Mr. Boricua jaws with some fans, while Colombian Heat (in full Flava Flav mode) is in awe of the arena. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is holding a camcorder and is recording the crowd. Thomas Rodreguiez is jumping up and down like an idiot, blowing his whistle. Vitamin X is walking last, silent and staring at the crowd.*

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring. Accompanied by The Lightning Crew. Weighing in at 223lbs. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the OaOasT North American & Puerto Rican Champion, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTTTTNINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

JR:

The Lightning Crew are all making their debut in Japan this week. And not suprising, these fans in Japan are treating Puerto Rican Lightning the same way they do in America.

 

Mr. Fuji:

I am ashamed for my fellow countrymen. Booing and disrespecting the great Puerto Rican Lightning like this. PRL is a GREAT athlete. A great man. He does not deserve to be treated this way.

 

JR:

All these fans here think otherwise.

 

*Puerto Rican Lightning dares the fans to touch his belts. PRL continues to walk cool and confident into the ring. He sneers at the crowd then enters the ring. He gives his belts to Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, then does the HBK-pose, with Colombian Heat posing behind him, while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd boos PRL as he grabs his belts and poses with them on the turnbuckle. The crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL sneers at them. PRL poses on another turnbuckle a'la The Rock.*

 

Mr. Fuji:

The greatest athlethe in the OaOasT today! Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

JR:

You have got to be kidding me! You're no different from Jesse Ventura.

 

*"Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" dies down as PRL grabs a microphone. As The Lightning Crew stand in the ring, the crowd begins a loud chant of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Puerto Rican Lightning is in awe of the crowd response and has a slick smile on his face.*

 

JR:

These fans in Tokyo letting PRL know how they feel about him.

 

*The chants continue, loudly, as PRL brings the microphone to his face. The fans quiet themselves.*

 

Puerto Rican Lighning:

Finally.....Tha Puerto Rican.....HAS COME BACK TO

JAPAN!!!

 

*The crowd pops for PRL.*

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Yes, I am finally here in Japan. Home to advanced techonology, Sony, Nintendo, Sega, Anime, Kawada, The Great Muta, and the Gamera and Godzilla movies. And frankly, I'm a little disappointed with this country.

 

*The crowd boos PRL.*

 

PRL (Continuing):

I'm disappointed with how you people have responded to me. I expected to come here to a hero's welcome. I expected to arrive to large fanfare. People screaming. Teenage girls chasing after me thanks to my matinee idol looks. I expected to sign autographs, and for people to chant my name. And what do I find? That you really are no different from the U.S.A. You boo me. You chant "P.R. Sucks!" You call my girlfriend names. You throw garbage at me! I mean, come on! Isn't Japan a far more advanced country than the United States! I expected something different from this country. But it's the same damn thing everywhere I go. U.S.A., Canada, Japan, Australia. They all boo me. The only country that doesn't boo me is Puerto Rico, and that's because those people apperciate greatness when they see it!

 

*The fans boo PRL loudly. There are signs all over the arena that say "P.R. SUCKS!" on them in English.*

 

JR:

PRL is sure being rough on Japan isn't he?

 

Mr. Fuji:

PRL is right. They should be showing him some respect.

 

JR:

Well, what respect does he deserved?

 

Mr. Fuji:

He is a great performer.

 

JR:

I will give you that. PRL is a great wrestler. But his actions and his attitude need some improvement.

 

Mr. Fuji:

PRL's a great guy. He doesn't need any improvements.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Now, I am here tonight, not because I wanted to be here, (Boos), but because I HAD to be here. You see, as an IntenseZone Superstar, it is my duty to be on the show every week. I am one of IZ's best, most popular, and most bankable stars, and so, I need to be on the show every week or people won't watch IZ and instead will switch over to that OTHER promotion's show on Monday's or worst, wait till Thursday nights to watch HeldDown! The Unlucky 7 Elimination Chamber Match is only 2 weeks away. 2 other IZ superstars besides myself will be in the Chamber, and we HAVE to make IZ look strong in that match. HeldDown has beaten us in the ratings, and we cannot have that happen no longer. IZ is the superior show, and it's about time the public relize that.

 

*The crowd gives PRL a mixed reaction. Some boo him because he's PRL, while others cheer him for his pro-IZ stance.*

 

Mr. Fuji:

Now how do you feel about PRL, Jim Ross?

 

JR:

I still feel the same way about that bastard.

 

PRL:

Now, it is time for my NA Title defense. You people in Japan will now get to see PRL in action, live and in person!

*The crowd boos. They begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL sneers at the crowd.*

 

PRL:

Shut up. Anyway, the man I was suppose to face for the NA and Puerto Rican Championships was suppose to be here last week, but unfortnaley, he missed his flight from Puerto Rico. So, he had to wait an extra week, and, I guess, what better way to make his OaOasT debut than in Tokoyo, Japan!

*The fans cheer for the cheap heat.*

 

PRL:

Well, there are better places like San Juan, Puerto Rico, but I guess this place will do. (Boos!) So, the time is now. The anticipation shall end. Ladies and gentlemen. People around the world. It is now time for the debut of one of the most atlethic, charasmatic, strongest, and all around greatest wrestlers to ever come from Puerto Rico, second to me of course. I give to all of you, the #1 Contender to the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championships: Fernado Alejandro Rodreguiez-Ramone-Batista-Gonsales-Gonsalvez-Burrito-Conjuito-Morito-Lavito-Furrito-Hitto-Fernandez.

 

*"Puerto Rico" by Funkmaster Flex starts to play. The crowd stands up in anticipation for the appearance of the new guy. Some are cheering. "Puerto Rico" continues to play, but Fernado is nowhere to be found.*

 

JR:

Well, we are all now waiting for the debut of the Fernado fella.

 

Mr. Fuji:

Maybe he has stage fright.

 

*After a few more seconds, someone finally appears through the entrance. But it is not the big, tall, muscular man that PRL was describing. Instead, it is a 4 foot 2, 110 lbs pale weakling with a shaved head, and a soul patch. His big brown eyes are filled with fear as the man walks slowly to the ring. He is wearing long blue tights with yellow lightning on the sides, taped wrists and black boots. He slaps hands with several fans and walks to the ring. Most of the crowd begins booing Fernado as they are disappointed. Puerto Rican Lightning just laughs.*

 

JR:

What the? W--What? What the hell is this? Come on! This ain't right!

 

Mr. Fuji:

PRL didn't actually say how tall this Fernado fellow was?

 

JR:

Do you seriously think that this young man has any chance at defeating PRL?

 

Mr. Fuji:

Well, 1-2-3 Kid defeated Razor Ramone on an episode of WWF Monday Night RAW back in 1993, so this Fernado kid may have a shot.

 

JR:

I would suggest that Fernado forfeit this contest. PRL has the size and strenght advantage. PRL has fooled us all again, BAWD GAWD!

 

*"Puerto Rico" by Funkmaster Flex continues to play as Fernado enters the ring. He raises his arms in the air to garner a crowd reaction, but none is present. Puerto Rican Lightning beats on Fernado's back and the referee rings the bell starting the match.*

 

*DING DING DING*

 

OaOasT North American & Puerto Rican Championship Match: Puerto Rican Lightning (Champion w/ The Lightning Crew) vs. Fernado Alejandro Rodreguiez-Ramone-Batista-Gonsales-Gonsalvez-Burrito-Conjuito-Morito-Lavito-Furrito-Hitto-Fernandez (Challenger):

 

JR:

And here we go with the North American and Puerto Rican Title defense on this special Sunday Edition of IntenseZone!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning beats on Fernado for a few seconds. The crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL chokes on Fernado until the referee breaks it up. PRL picks up Fernado and whips him into the ropes. He hits a Flying Forearm on Fernandez causing the crowd to boo. PRL smiles evily and waits for Fernadez to get up, doing another Flying Forearm to his face. He picks up Fernado and whips him into the ropes once more to do another Flying Forearm. Finally, he picks him up one more time, and does one final Flying Forearm before kipping up to loud boos.

 

JR:

It looks like Puerto Rican Lightning is going to end this match early and sadly, it is not a suprise.

 

Mr. Fuji:

PRL is setting up Fernado for the Sweet Chin Music. His move to set up the P.R. Nightmare.

 

Lightning jumps up and down and sneers at the crowd. He jaws with the fans for a bit as they boo and heads to a turnbuckle. He stomps his foot several times a'la Shawn Michaels waiting for Fernado to get up. He yells "Come on!" as Fernado slowly gets up. The crowd is on their feet and booing.

 

JR:

It looks like PRL is going to hit the Sweet Chin Music.

 

Mr. Fuji:

Oh, Fernado is a dead man.

 

PRL continues to wait for Fernado to get up. Once he does, PRL charges from the turnbuckle and gives Fernado the Sweet Chin Music to boos.

 

JR:

The SWEET CHIN MUSIC! THE SWEET CHIN MUSIC CONNECTS!

 

Mr. Fuji:

Fernado has no chance in hell of winning now.

 

P.R. Lightning gets up and saids "That's It!" He waits for Fernandez to get up again as the crowd boos and chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Fernandez gets up and walks right into a kick in the gut from Tha Puerto Rican, follow by the P.R. Nightmare to huge boos from the crowd.

 

JR:

The P.R. Nightmare! THE P.R. NIGHMARE CONNECTS ON FERNADO! IT'S ALL OVER NOW!

 

PRL pins Fernado Alejandro Rodreguiez-Ramone-Batista-Gonsales-Gonsalvez-Burrito-Conjuito-Morito-Lavito-Furrito-Hitto-Fernandez.

 

 

1.............

 

 

 

 

2..............

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!

 

 

*DING DING DING*

Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and STILL OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Champion, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!!!

 

*"Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" begins top play over the P.A. System as the crowd boos and chants

"P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Puerto Rican Lightning gets up and spits in the face of Fernado. He poses and jaws with the fans.*

 

JR:

Well, PRL once again escapes defending the North American Title.

 

Mr. Fuji:

What do you mean escaped? He just defended BOTH his belts right here this second.

 

JR:

But that wasn't a real oppoent, Fuji. That was just someone he got off the street. PRL has been free from defending the NA Title every week against a real oppoent ever since IZ General Manager Dan Black absolved the Mandatory NA Title Defense rule.

 

Mr. Fuji:

He IS defending the title right? A real champion defends the belt against whoever. People didn't complain when Bret "The Hitman" Hart was defending the WWF World Heavyweight Title against guys like Virgil and Rick Martel. So why should this be any different?

 

 

JR:

Because PRL is afraid to put the belt up against any REAL OaOasT superstar. He knows he can't beat "Shooter" Jay Darring. He KNOWS he can't beat The Blurricane. And he ESPECIALLY knows damn well that he cannot beat The Mad Cappa.

 

Mr. Fuji:

He already has beaten all three of those guys.

 

JR:

With help from The Lightning Crew.

 

Mr. Fuji:

A win is a win in the record books no matter how it was obtained.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Championship belts and poses with them. He raises both belts in the center of the ring with The Lightning Crew as "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" continues to play. As he is about to leave the ring, he notices that Fernado is still in the ring struggling to get up. PRL looks at The Lightning Crew, then a sadistic smile shows up on his face.

 

JR:

What is PRL thinking of now, Mr. Fuji?

 

Mr. Fuji:

I think I know what it is, but I'm not sure. If it's what I think it is, Fernado is not going to like this.

Puerto Rican Lightning walks up to Fernado, who is now up. He looks at PRL and offers a handshake. PRL looks at him and then at the crowd....and delievers another P.R. Nightmare to him.

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD~! ANOTHER P.R. NIGHTMARE TO FERNADO! WHAT WAS THAT FOR? THE MATCH IS OVER!!!

 

PRL:

Zack Malibu. "Shooter" Jay Darring. Ragdoll. Blurricane. Crystal. Calvin Szechstein. I hope you are all watching right now, because this is a preview of what I'm going to do to each one of you in the Elimination Chamber Match at Deadly Game.

 

PRL and The Lightning Crew begin beating down on Fernado. They lay the boots to him as the crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL jaws with the fans and delievers another P.R. Nightmare to Fernado.

 

JR:

OH MY~! THAT IS ENOUGH! STOP IT PRL! STOP IT! YOU ALREADY WON THE MATCH! LEAVE FERNADO ALONE! HE ISN'T EVEN A WRESTLER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

 

Mr. Fuji:

PRL is using Fernado to show the rest of the Unlucky 7 just what he is capable of. I see nothing wrong with that. Fernado is just a training dummy to him. This was just a warmup match for Deadly Game.

 

Mr. Boricua grabs Fernado and gives him a chokeslam. Vitamin X picks him up and gives him The Overdose (Double Armed Suplex Into A Neckbreaker.) Thomas Rodreguiez kicks Fernado in the balls. Colombian Heat gives Fernado the Colombian Necktie (Vertibreaker). Cuban Wall follows with the Lightning Crew Bomb (Splash). PRL gives Fernado another P.R. Nightmare. Finally, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez finishes the torture with a hard slap to the face of Fernando.

 

JR:

DAMNIT! THIS IS HORRIBLE! THIS IS COMPLETELY UNECESSARY! PRL DOES NOT NEED FERNADO TO SHOW THE UNLUCKY 7 WHAT HE CAN DO! HE DOES NOT NEED THIS!

 

*Fernado is now bleeding heavily. Referees go to check on him as The Lightning Crew pose in the center of the ring with the belts. The crowd boos and chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" starts up again as PRL makes the "I Want The Belt" motion to the crowd. He smiles evily and raises his belts then leaves the ring with The Lightning Crew. The camera does a closeup of a bleeding Fernado Alejandro Rodreguiez-Ramone-Batista-Gonsales-Gonsalvez-Burrito-Conjuito-Morito-Lavito-Furrito-Hitto-Fernandez. The Lightning Crew leave the ring and exit through the entrance but not before PRL poses with his belts. Fernado is still being checked on by the referees.*

 

JR:

PRL has just shown an example of just what he is capable of doing.

 

Mr. Fuji:

I will say this, if PRL is as agressive and psycothic in the Elimination Chamber as he was tonight, and he was the night he injured The Mad Cappa, he has a very good chance of becoming OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion at Deadly Game.

 

JR:

I really don't like that again.

 

Mr. Fuji:

OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

JR:

I will throw up if that ever happens. Anyway, don't go away folks. We will be back with more action on IntenseZone!

 

*Fernado Alejandro Rodreguiez-Ramone-Batista-Gonsales-Gonsalvez-Burrito-Conjuito-Morito-Lavito-Furrito-Hitto-Fernandez is picked up by the referees and road agents and carried to the back. He is weaken and bloodied. The crowd cheers as he is taken to the back for medical treatment. We see him exit then fade to black.*

 

[Fade To Black]

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR:

And now we go live, via satellite to The Shuffle's apartment in scenic Lynnwood, Washington where The Shuffle is resting and recovering from the injuries he received at the hands of Pushy Al Logan last week.

Shuffle appears on camera, he's sitting in an arm chair with a neck brace on.

 

Shuffle:

Thanks JR. Let me say first that it's killing me not to be there tonight. I know that all of my fans are worried, and I want to let them know that I'll be back and dancing just as soon as I'm able. The doctors tell me that I've got a pretty bad concussion, a strained neck, and that some bone chips floating around in my spine.

 

They wanted to operate on my neck, but that'll take me out for over a month- and there's no way I'm going to miss DEADLY GAMES~!. I don't know how, but come Deadly Games I'm going to get revenge on Pushy Al Logan. I'm going kick G. Money's ass AGAIN. Hell, I'm even going to take out Alfdogg just for hanging out with those two clowns.

 

So I'm going to rest up- and I'll be back in the arena next week. I probably won't be able to get in the ring under the pay-per-view, and then I'll still be feeling numb in some places. That won't matter though- 'cause it won't be about what I can feel. It's all going to be about what the Dangerous Alliance feels when I get my hands on them!! I know that I don't have to be 100% to beat those no-talent half-wits. I know that because no matter what I lack physically I'll be able to make up with heart. I know that I'll have every single one of the fans behind me- chanting my name and doing my dance. If I've got the love of the OAOAST fans, that's all I'll need to get by.

 

So fans- you keep believing in me, and I'll keep believing in you. I'll see you next week, and till then- do a little B. Diddy Shuffle for me!!!

 

JR:

The Shuffle is one hell of a competitor Mr. Fuji, definitely a future superstar in this company, and you better believe he'll be coming back with a vengeance.

 

FUJI:

I'm sure Jim Ross, his B. Diddy Shuffle is the latest dance craze over here in Japan! But now, it's time for the match I've been looking forward to all night, the national hero, Dangerous A, against Dan Black!

 

FIRST BLOOD MATCH

Dan Black vs. Dangerous A

 

JR

Well, its time for a match between a man who is LOVED in Japan, and a man that’s HATED everywhere he goes!

 

FUJI

Dangerous A legend in my country. But Dan Black, he has intelligence! He wins!

 

JR

We’ll see! These men, along with 10 others, will battle in the first ever OAOAST Scramble Match at Deadly Game. Not only is pride on the line, but momentum going into that match.

 

"Mr. Brownstone" hits up, and the Tokyo crowd rises in delight, roaring Dangerous A to the ring!

 

GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA

The following contest is a FIRST BLOOD MATCH! Introducing first, from TOKYO JAPAN, weighing 240lbs, DANGEROUS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

DA salutes the fans, stepping into the ring and stretching out.

 

JR

In the United States, Dangerous A has become deeply unpopular for his brutal assaults on Mad Cappa and alliance with Alfdogg. But here, he’s still a hero.

 

FUJI

Here come real hero!

 

“Quiet” buzzes out, as bloods of black smoke pour out of the entranceway. Sharp, bright bursts of pyro crack out, as the IZ GM slowly emerges from the smoke.

 

GMC

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd his opponent, from London, England, weighing 242lbs- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan BLACK!

 

Black, eyes locked on the ring, walks quickly and purposefully down, stepping into the squared circle.

 

JR

Here we go folks, this could be brutal- first man to bleed loses! Simple!

 

DING DING DING

 

Dan and DA stare at each other for a beat, before starting to circle. A jump forward, and the opponents go into a lock up. DA starts to push Black down, but Dan twists out, grabbing the arm behind DA into a hammerlock. DA immediately counters however, twisting around himself and getting a waistlock. Dan runs forward quickly and grabs the top rope.

 

Our official, a young Tokyo native, counts the break. As DA honourably steps back however, Dan turns and rakes the eyes! DA staggers back, and Black lashes him with a European uppercut. Another uppercut, and Black whips DA to the ropes, but DA shoulderblocks Dan to the mat! DA stands ready, beckoning Black to get up, and as he does so cracks him with an elbow shot! Another elbow, and Black is sent hard into the corner.

 

DA slaps his thigh to an excited cheer from the crowd, and charges with a YAKUZA KICK attempt- but Dan ducks at the last second and DA hits the top turnbuckle hard! DA hops out, and Dan clips his leg to send him down to the mat. Black immediately targets the leg that hit the corner, dropping a knee and keeping it there, grinding at the back of DA’s own knee.

 

JR

Dangerous A may have lost his cool there in trying for such a big move so soon. If he’s hurt that leg, Dan Black will be remorseless in tearing it apart. He’s that kind of wrestler, that kind of man.

 

Dan tries to roll DA over and hook in an STF, but DA rolls back onto his back and he and Black start to exchange blows, striking hard! DA propels Black off and away, with Dan staggering onto the ropes to steady himself. DA clambers up and flicks out his leg, testing it out.

 

FUJI

Dangerous A need to protect leg- if he incapacitated Black can pound him till he bleed!

 

JR

But in a match like this, anything can happen! A stray punch can bust open a nose! The match could end at ANY time!

 

DA rushes in at Black, who ducks down and manages to backdrop DA up over the top rope and out to the floor! DA pulls himself up, as Dan pauses for a moment, before bouncing off the ropes and sprinting at DA!

 

Black vaults over the top rope and crashes into DA!

 

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!

 

JR

Well when in Japan, I guess! But high risk to his own body – he could easily be bleeding from that attack! I guess Black is now losing his cool- these two are really building up some issues!

 

Black and DA start to pick themselves up, as the official checks them for any signs of blood. DA cracks Dan with a forearm shot, and, grabbing Black’s left arm, whips him into the steel ring steps with a huge crash!

 

JR

A smart move from DA- there’s some sharp steel there that could easily cut Dan open!

 

But as DA pulls Black up, theres no blood. DA grabs Dan’s head and goes to ram it into the ringpost, but Dan elbows him in the gut in desperation and reverses the attack, slamming DA head first into the post! Still no blood, so Dan just punches DA in the face a few times to keep him down, and goes to fetch a steel chair from ringside!

 

FUJI

Ah, Mr. Black can smash DA skull in! Beautifullllllllllllll!

 

JR

Ah, yeah…

 

Dan comes round the corner, swinging the chair, but DA leaps up and kicks it back into his face!

 

JR

MAH GAWD! What impact!

 

FUJI

But no blood! No blood Mr Ross!

 

DA scoops Dan up again and just drops him onto the guard rail, driving all the air out of the IZ boss’s body. DA pauses to draw breath, before picking up Dan and rolling him back into the ring. The chair follows, as does DA.

 

DA sets up the chair, standing upright, in the middle of the ring, and drags Dan over in front of it. DA slowly underhooks Dan’s arms…

 

JR

NO WAY! He’s going to give him the Tiger Driver onto that upright chair! DA is SICK!

 

Dan somehow becomes aware of the trouble he’s in, and fights back, freeing an arm enough to connect with a LOW BLOW! As DA’s grip slackens, Dan heaves up and backdrops DA up and down onto the chair with a huge crash!

 

DA writhes on the mat, clutching his back, as Dan kneels, clearing his head. Our official rolls DA over to look at his back- and signals for the match to continue!

 

Black picks up the chair, which is almost broken in half, and throws it out of the ring in disgust. Heard to be muttering “Cheap Japanese crap”, he brings DA up and slaps on a full nelson! Dan goes for his release Dragon Suplex, but DA fights him off! Both men spin, Dan ducks DA’s strike and dropkicks him in the face!

 

Black steps out of the ring to the top rope, and flips off the whole arena, before leaping off with a diving headbutt that CRUSHES into DA’s face! But STILL no blood!

 

JR

These men have hard, tough bodies, conditioned not to give up, not to bleed!

 

FUJI

Cut him! Cuuuuuuuuuuuut hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!

 

Black frowns, frustrated, and heads up top again! DA pulls himself up, and Dan leaps off with a shoulder block attempt- but DA grabs Black and powers him to the mat with an STO!

 

JR

MAH GAWD! Black jumped right into that STO! DA is a KILLER!

 

Black, dazed by the impact, is easily grabbed up by DA. The Tokyo born star holds Black by the scruff of his neck and just starts to power his forehead into Dan’s! Once, twice, three times DA butts Dan, before letting him fall to the mat!

 

DA slides out of the ring….reaches under the canvas…and brings out a screwdriver!

 

JR

Oh my…things are getting dangerous out here! No pun intended! Regular wrestling hasn’t got the job done- DA is about to get hardcore!

 

DA is back in the ring, and advances on Black, twisting the sharp tool in his fingers! Black looks up, and panics, starting to try and scramble out of the ring! The official steps in DA’s way and, bowing, pleads with him not to use such deadly force! The Deadly Alliance member looks at the young referee, and shakes his head, smiling slightly. Still the ref won’t move!

 

JR

Why is he protecting Dan Black? Black doesn’t deserve this!

 

FUJI

Because Dan Black honorable man! Doesn’t deserve poking with tool!

 

JR

Er….yeah…

 

DA loses patience and kicks the ref in the stomach!

 

POWERBOMB!

 

JR

DA showing he really is ruthless in pursuit of victory!

 

DA continues to move in on Black, who scrambles into the ropes. DA grabs him by the hair and pulls him up, and is about to rake his forehead with the screwdriver when Dan knees him hard in the stomach! Dan grabs the wrist of the hand holding the weapon and the two men fight over it, struggling, deadlocked!

 

DA starts to overpower Dan, but Black follows his opponent’s earlier example and headbutts him! The Tokyo born star immediately comes back with his own headbutt however, that stuns both Dan and himself! The two men stumble down to one knee as the screwdriver scutters across the ring, landing near the prone official.

 

Dan is up first and slides out of the ring…reaching under it and bringing out a long chain!

 

JR

MAH GAWD, what else is hidden under there?

 

FUJI

Dan and DA come prepared! Very good! Is Japanese way!

 

Black coils the chain around both hands, and climbs back into the ring. Black wraps the chain around DA’s throat and starts to choke him out! DA’s eyes are bulging and his face is getting red, but Black keeps on driving the air out of him! The crowd BOOS Dan as he persists in the brutal attack, until DA’s movements slow, his fighting arms and legs drop…and he’s motionless. Dan lets up on the choke.

 

JR

He’s choked him out! But he needs to be bleeding!

 

Black stands over DA and nods in satisfaction, raising the chain above his head- only for a shocked look to appear on his face, quickly followed by agony as DA kicks him in the groin!

 

JR

DA was playing possum! He pretended to be out to get Dan to let up!

 

DA is up, and grabs the chain from the hands of the weakened Black. DA wraps it around the head of Dan, and gives him a chain assisted neckbreaker!

 

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

With Black flat on his back and out cold, DA grabs up the screwdriver again and moves over to Dan…sits over him…and viciously draws the metal point across the forehead of Dan Black, cutting him wide open and causing a gush of blood down Black’s face!

 

DA grins and howls in victory- but of course our official is still out, and cannot call for the bell!

 

JR

Well, he screwed himself there. He could have had this won!

 

DA moves over to try and raise the referee, and doesn’t see Dan’s Blackheart Security members Angel Steel and Hades come running down to the ring! Angel tends to Black as Hades stands behind DA, waiting for him to turn! Eventually, alerted by the BOOS of the crowd, DA turns- and is CRACKED in the head with a vicious roundhouse kick! Another kick to the head! Hades grabs DA in, underhooks the arms, and hoists him up- into a reverse TOMBSTONE!

 

JR

MAH GAWD! Vicious move! DA has got to be out!

 

The masked man, Hades, looks at the fallen DA seemingly without emotion, before moving over to Dan Black. Hades wipes his hand over the face of Dan, getting his palm covered in blood! Hades walks back to DA and just smears the blood all over the face of DA!

 

Angel has a black towel which she uses to cover the head of Dan, as Hades picks up the referee, who looks about him woozily!

 

JR

Oh this is such a screw job…why am I not surprised?

 

Hades shoves the referees face next to DA’s and whispers in his ear. The battered official squints, blinks, and nods, waving his arm feebly for the bell!

 

DING DING DING

 

GMC

Ladies and Gentleman, the winner of the match- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan BLACK!

 

JR

MAH GAWD! DA got totally screwed! That’s Dan Black’s blood all over his face!

 

FUJI

Black outsmart DA! That deserve victory!

 

Angel helps Dan up, mopping at his face, as Hades starts to stomp the body of DA! Suddenly, Alfdogg and G Money come sprinting down to the ring!

 

Dan’s group scatters, as Alf and GM check on DA.

 

JR

We’ve narrowly avoided another battle between these teams- but what a brutal match! Dan gets the win, but you have to expect DA to be PISSED! I wouldn’t want to be in Dan’s boots come Deadly Game! We’ll be back with more!

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

*A video opens with "Shooter" Jay Darring standing in the middle of a ring in an empty gym. He is closing his eyes, as if he is meditating. The sun lights up the dusty gym as the camera does a closeup of Jay. A calm, comatose melody is being played in the background and plays throughout the video. The song is sweet and gentle. Right after the close-up of Jay, the screen cuts to a black background with white writing on it. The writing reads:*

 

7 Superstars

 

*The video cuts to Zack Malibu sitting in a turnbuckle. He is relaxed and seems to be concetrating. He is also in an empty gym.*

 

*The camera than does a quick cut to Blurricane sitting on top of a high skyscraper. Blurricane has a serious look on his face and is staring down at the streets below.*

 

*The next shot shows Ragdoll standing in a dark alley sneering at the camera and smoking a cigarette.*

 

Compete In One Match

 

*As the comatose song continues to play and reaches a new note, the camera cuts to Crystal, who is working out at a gym. She looks up at the sky and breathes in a deep breath.*

 

*The camera then cuts to a quick shot of Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL is also relaxed. His eyes are close as he is meditating also. He then sneers at the camera for one quick second.*

 

To determine the One And Only Anglesault Thread Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.

 

*Finally, the camera cuts to Calvin Szechstein. He is also at a gym, albeit a very fancy looking one, and is staring at the sky through the window. He is holding the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship belt and has a serious, determined look on his face. The sun lights up the belt and the camera does one last closeup on Calvin's face before cutting to one more black screen with white writing.*

 

Who will survive the Elimination Chamber?

 

*The camera shows parts of the Elimination Chamber. The music changes when a man sings....*

 

Cause It's A DEADLY GAME....

 

*The camera does quick zooms and far away shots and camera shakes as seven people are shown fightning in a dark alley. The people are shadowed by silhouttes but they appear to be the 7 OaOasT superstars involved in the Elimination Chamber Match. A rock song plays in the background as the 7 people continue to fight.*

 

DEADLY GAME

 

DEADLY GAME

 

The camera then cuts to the Deadly Game logo:

OAOAST DEADLY GAME: UNLUCKY SEVEN

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30TH

AT 8:00 P.M. EST

LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELITE OPERATOR TO ORDER NOW!

 

JR:

It's going to be brutal, it's going to be bloody, it's going to be INTENSE, and it's only on PAY-PER-VIEW! The FIRST-EVER OAOAST Elimination Chamber match- the seven-biggest stars in this company will destroy each other for the top prize in the game!

 

[shin-Jingi-Naki Tatakai by Hotei begins to play over the PA, and the crowd is ON THEIR FEET as the arena darkens!]

 

FUJI:

Music the Japanese people have been waiting to hear again for quite some time!

 

JR:

That's right Mr. Fuji, while "Shooter" Jay Darring is not the national icon that Dangerous A is, he still does have quite a following in this part of the world- competing at the tender age of 18 in Big Japan Pro Wrestling as "Danger Boy" Jay Darring, he briefly held the BJPW Junior Heavyweight title, defeating Jun Kasai in April of 2001. Jay Darring's reputation of recklessness is still rememberd, listen to this crowd!

 

[The noise reaches a fever pitch as Jay emerges from the entranceway, an appreciative grin on his face. He slaps hands with the fans as he enters the ring, face-to-face with his opponent, already in the ring.]

 

JR:

Jay will be taking on Thunderkid, a member of that vile Dangerous Alliance, who took out Jesse Ventura earlier tonight!

 

FUJI:

Jesse was a good friend of mine Jim Ross, and I was disgusted by that gang-beating. Jesse is tough, he'll definitely get his revenge.

 

CAPPETTA:

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, already in the ring, weighing in at 230 pounds...this is THUNDERKID! And his opponent, from South Boston Japan,

 

[the crowd ROARS!]

 

FUJI:

Not even Jay can resist the cheap pop!

 

weighing in at 173 pounds, "DANGER BOY" JAY DARRING!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Kid and Jay immediately lock up, Jay grabs a headlock, Kid backs him into the ropes. Kid shoves Jay off, Jay hits the ropes, ducks a clothesline from ThunderKid, and CONNECTS with a leg lariat! ThunderKid immediately bails to the outside...

 

JR:

ThunderKid trying to catch his breath here, but he's forgetting something- to look at his opponenent!

 

The crowd is clapping in unison as Jay signals to the outside, ThunderKid completely oblivious. Jay measures him, his the ropes-springboard- RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT CONNECTS to a POP!!!

 

FUJI:

The Japanese crowds love that move!

 

Jay rolls ThunderKid back into the ring and covers!

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

QUICK KICKOUT!

 

JR:

Jay Darring taking advantage early on in this contest, trying to end this early!

 

Jay picks up Kid, he irish whips him into the corner-no-reversed! Jay vaults over the ropes, catches Kid with a punch, staggering. Jay quickly climbs to the top- SUNSET FLIP!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Both men get back to their feet quickly- but Jay is ready first, DRILLING Kid with a roaring elbow!

 

JR:

What a shot by the former Danger Boy!

 

Jay waits for ThunderKid to get back to his feet-he's loading up....Kid's back on his feet....AND EATS A RUNNING YAKUZA KICK!

 

FUJI:

The Yakuza Kick, and deadly name for a deadly move!

 

Kid is knocked loopy, Jay is signalling....he picks Kid up in a fireman's carry, THERE'S THE KT DRILLER!

 

JR:

There's the KT Driller!

 

FUJI:

It came from Japan!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!!!

 

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

CAPPETTA:

Your winner of the match, "Danger Boy" JAY DARRING!

 

JR:

An emphatic victory for the Shooter, you better believe this will give him more momentum going into the Elimination Chamber!

 

FUJI:

Wait a minute, from behind!

 

THE LIGHTNING CREW have swarmed the ring, loaded to the brim with weapons! Jay turns around...STRAIGHT INTO A VCR SHOT BY COLOMBIAN HEAT!!!!

 

JR:

You can hear that from the bleachers, Jay is busted open!

 

The Lightning Crew continue to pound on the defenseless Jay with singapore canes and chairshots to the neck and back!

 

JR:

No doubt softening up Jay for their boss, PRL before the PPV!

 

FUJI:

Look, over there, it's THE BLURRICANE!

 

The crowd is GOING NUTS as Blurricane hits the ring! SUPERKICK to VITAMIN X. Thomas Rodriguez tries a clothesline...BUT RUNS RIGHT INTO THE BLURRI-CHOKESLAM!!!

 

JR:

BLURRICANE IS CLEANING HOUSE!!!

 

Colomibian Heat tries to charge in with a lariat, but Blurricane ducks! He hooks Heat from behind...BLUR EFFECT!!!

 

FUJI:

Blurricane is the man! He's gotta get his own TV show over here!

 

The Lightning Crew scrambles off as Blurricane helps the bloodied Jay to his feet...they stare at each other for a few moments, before shaking hands, their eyes locked!!!

 

JR:

They may be friends now, but in mere days, they're going to be locked in mortal combat with each other-business has definitely picked up!

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR:

Earlier tonight, we caught up, with the rather unorthodox opponent for Calvin Szechstein tonight, the man Stephen Joseph granted a chance to shine, on the world stage, Ted Weddy. It was...interesting, to say the least.

 

FUJI:

Ted Weddy is a BIG SUPERSTAR in Japan. Except here we call him "The Swearing Afro."

 

(Ted Weddy, tonight's challenger for the OAOAST WORLD TITLE, is backstage with special Japanese correspondent CHARLIE MINN~!)

 

MINN:

So Mr. Weddy,

 

TED:

That's PRRRR-ESIDENT WEDDY! Get it right, or I'll PYOOKE on you like GWB did to your Prime Minister ho!

 

MINN:

So so sorry Teddy, how does it make such a rapid rise to the top of OAOAST IntenseZone, and compete for the World Title in the home of good wrestling, Japan!

 

TED:

Well Chuckles, it feels pretty frizeakin' good. Finally OAOAST is making use of my multiple orgasmic talents, and I proooved I can hang with these mofos by plowing through them like I plow through hookers!

 

As far as the WOOOOORLD TITLE goes, it's like a WET dream come true! I trained foreeeever to get to this moment, and I'm not gonna let it slip from my hot, sweaty palms. In fact, just to make suuuure none of the Totally Endorsed LOSERS came to help the sumbitch- well, I brought a AMERICAN DWEEEM IF YOU WEEEEEL!!!

[DUSTY RHODES enters the frame!]

 

DUSTY:

We're here on the muthaship, my prahzed student Ted Weddy gets a shot at the fifteen pounds o'gold. Calvin, my brotha Tedda beat ya up, and you ran. The realiZATION, if you weeel, that you're gonna lose that belt to-nite, is creepin' up on ya baby! TO-NITE IS OUR NIGHT!

[J-Train walks in eating a bag of potato chips.]

 

J-TRAIN:

YEAH YEAH YEAH! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKIN' BOUT STARDUST! SZECHSTEIN, LET THE GATES OF HELL OPEN ON YA!

 

[Dusty, J-Train and Ted all pose and act tough for the camera.]

 

JR:

Weddy, Szechstein, World Title, Japan- it's up NEXT!!!

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

JR

Mr. Fuji had a sushi appointment, but I’m still here, and it’s time for the MAIN EVENT!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

GARY MICHAEL CAPETTA

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE match scheduled for ONE fall!

 

"I Pledge Allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of TEDDY"

 

 

 

"What's My Name" by Snoop kicks into gear, and out struts the self-proclaimed President, Ted Weddy, accompanied by his loyal Odd Squad of Gary Busey and J-Train. The crowd waves along in time to the music as Ted enters the ring.

 

GARY MICHAEL CAPETTA

The challenger! At 390 pounds, he hails from Hollis, Maine… TEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY WEDDY!

 

The crowd roars for Ted as the music fades out…

 

"Three-two-one, I'M THE BOMB!"

 

"I'm The Bomb" by the Electric Six begins to play over the public address system, the crowd systematically booing as a grinning Calvin Szechstein steps out onto the ramp, tonight wearing a loose Majestic jersey over his singlet, the OAOAST championship slung over his left shoulder. He waves to some of the fans, sliding into the ring and going over to the ropes, placing his right foot on the middle rope and doing the "thinker" pose, with the OAOAST championship held in an outstretched left hand.

 

GARY MICHAEL CAPETTA

And the champion, weighing in at one-hundred ninety-seven pounds, he hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin… CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALVIN SZECHSTEIN!

 

Teddy starts out the aggressor, stalking after the smaller Calvin and looking to lock up with him, but Calvin avoids, scampering away from Weddy and to the opposite side of the ring. The President, obviously a bit bemused by Calvin’s cowardice, stalks him once more, breathing menacingly down his neck as Calvin stumbles backwards along the ropes, and right into the turnbuckle!

 

Teddy grins as he closes in on Calvin, pouncing with a snapping left jab! Calvin reels from the blow, and Teddy follows it up with another snapping left! Calvin’s head spins from the move, but his brain picks up on the maneuver and recognizes it. Before he can put this knowledge to use, however, Teddy catches him with another hard left to the face! The crowd roars, looking for Teddy’s signature big right to end the combo, but as he brings the right towards Calvin’s head the Champion drops to his knees, and Teddy’s hand sails into the air where Calvin’s head formerly was!

 

JR

Calvin narrowly escapes the capper to Teddy’s corner combo, and it’s obvious from the beginning of this match that Weddy will be the aggressor!”

 

The larger Weddy reaches down, grabbing Calvin by the scruff of his neck and lifts him to his feet. Keeping a firm hold on the back of the Champion’s neck, Teddy leads him to the middle of the ring, and proceeds to grab him by the arm, dancing back a bit and whipping Calvin into the ropes! The Champ hits them hard, coming flying back at Teddy, who looks to take Calvin down with a hard lariat – but Calvin rolls underneath it!

 

The crowd pops for the athletic maneuver, as Calvin pops up on the other side of Weddy. Teddy’s momentum brings him whirling around to face Calvin, who leaps into the air and dropkicks the President straight in the teeth! The crowd cries out in boos as Weddy falls to the mat, grabbing his jaw in pain as he quickly gets back to his feet. Calvin, meanwhile, recovers quickly, getting to his feet and yelling out at the crowd.

 

“That was brought to you by KISSSSSSS PINBALL!”

 

“YOU SUCK!”

 

“No, you…”

 

Calvin is cut off quickly by a hard forearm to the back from the President, much to the delight of the crowd! Weddy grins as Calvin topples over, landing on his face and clutching his back in pain as Weddy looks down at Calvin with disdain.

 

“Metallica, bitch.”

 

“PRE – SI – DENT! PRE – SI – DENT!”

 

JR

The crowd is really starting to get into this match, and they’re solidly behind Teddy Weddy!

 

Calvin gets up slowly, and as he stands up, his back to Teddy, the President wraps his arms around Calvin’s midsection, putting the World champion into a rear waistlock! Calvin, however, knows Teddy’s arsenal, and he reaches back and catches Teddy with a clubbing elbow to the side of the face! Teddy releases the waistlock, and Calvin whirls around, catching Teddy with a solid slap to the face!

 

*CRACK!* “OOOOOOOOOH!”

 

The crowd’s reaction to the move echoes Teddy’s reaction, as he grabs the side of his face in pain, and quickly Calvin grabs Weddy by the arm, whipping the President into the ropes! Weddy hits them hard, coming flying back at Calvin, who looks for the high leg clothesline – but now Weddy rolls underneath it! The crowd pops at the athleticism from their tubby hero as Weddy breaks out of his roll, hitting the opposite ropes! Calvin, confused, looks around for Teddy, but the President comes up behind him, grabbing him by the back of the head and leaping into the air, driving Calvin’s face into the mat with a vicious running bulldog!

 

The crowd erupts as Calvin hits the mat hard, bouncing like a pinball into the air and onto his back, and Teddy looks down at Calvin, disdain in his eyes as he looks up to the crowd and delivers a million-dollar smile.

 

JR

It’s time for some judicial review! BAH GAWD!

 

Weddy grins as he runs over to the ropes, bouncing off of them and strutting back towards Calvin, moving ever so slowly Ric Flair stylee, much to the delight of the Fargo crowd. As Weddy reaches Calvin’s body he puts his hands behind his head, busting out a pelvic thrust to screams from the females in the crowd and a “PELVIC THRUST OF TRUTHITTUDE!” from JR, before quickly bringing his right arm around and dropping a huge elbow into the chest cavity of Calvin!

 

The fans erupt as Calvin clutches his chest in pain, but Weddy pays him no mind, instead pulling him over onto his back and making the cover!

 

“OOOOOOOOONE!”

 

“TWOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“TH – TWO COUNT!” Calvin narrowly gets the shoulder up, and Weddy, still grinning from the earlier maneuver, grabs him by the neck and lifts him to his feet.

 

JR

The ELBOW OF TRUTH gets two, and Teddy is awful close early in this match!

 

Weddy grabs Calvin, kneeing the Champion in the kidneys and placing his head between his legs, putting Calvin into a standing headscissors! The crowd erupts as Weddy grabs Calvin around the waist, lifting him up onto his shoulders and into powerbomb position! The crowd goes WILD for the rarely-seen maneuver from Weddy, but their cheers turn to jeers as Calvin gracefully falls backwards, arching his back and wrapping his legs around Weddy’ head, snapping him over with a hurricanrana! Weddy lands hard on his back, with Calvin sitting on his stomach, beckoning for Soapdish to count the pin!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“TH…”

 

Teddy reaches up, putting his hands into Calvin’s chest and sitting up, pushing Calvin forward into a pinning predicament! Soapdish, sick of seeing reversed-pins sequences but forced to count anyway, gets down!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“THRE – NO!” Calvin rolls backwards, getting to his feet quickly as Teddy stands up as well, the two of them staring at each other as the crowd begins to applaud!

 

JR

INDY APPLAUSE STANCE BY GAWD!

 

Calvin, however, is not one to respect the Indy Applause Stance, and quickly he charges Teddy, leaping into the air and spinning over in midair, looking to catch Teddy with a spinning heel kick…

 

But Teddy catches him in midair! The crowd pops as Weddy grins, stepping forward and dropping Calvin back-first across his knee! Teddy grabs the fallen Calvin, lifting the Champion to his feet and grabbing him by the arm, looking to whip him into the ropes – but Calvin reverses, using all of his might to send Weddy into the turnbuckle! Calvin grins, walking with SWAGGER~! over to Weddy and reaching back with his left hand, looking at it quickly before bringing it across the left side of Teddy’s face with a huge slap!

 

The fans cry out against this obvious disrespect move, and Teddy’s head snaps over to the right side, only to get clubbed in the face by a right forearm from Calvin! Teddy slides down the turnbuckle a bit, but Calvin grabs the President under the chin, rearing back and catching him HARD across the chest with a knife-edged chop!

 

*THWACK!* “WHOOOOOOOO!”

 

The President grabs his stomach in pain, welts already forming as Calvin plants a palm in Weddy’s stomach, shoving him back into the turnbuckle and cupping his chin once more, rearing back and catching Weddy across the stomach with another knife-edged chop!

 

*THWACK!* “WHOOOOOOOO!”

 

Weddy again grabs his stomach in pain as Calvin gracefully backflips out of the corner, winking at the camera before running at Teddy, running up his chest and using it as a springboard to backflip off of, his right foot catching Teddy under the chin with a nasty kick as he backflips over in midair, landing on his feet in front of Teddy! The President grabs his chin in pain as Calvin grins, yelling out at the crowd.

 

“Pepsi says, THAT’s the real joy of cola!”

 

“CALVIN SUCKS! CALVIN SUCKS!”

 

JR

Calvin’s getting a lot of no love here!

 

Teddy stumbles out of the corner, grabbing his jaw in pain as Calvin plants both hands in his stomach, pushing Weddy back into the corner! Teddy stays there, catching his breath as Calvin backs up a bit before charging Weddy once more, leaping up and planting both feet into the President’s stomach, grabbing Teddy by the head and looking both ways before falling back, pushing his legs into Weddy’ stomach and letting go of him so that Teddy flips over his body, landing hard on his back!

 

JR

Monkey flip from Calvin!

 

But as Calvin’s legs press Teddy’s body into the air he grabs his left one in pain, his face a grimace as he clutches his leg in pain, referee Nick Soapdish going over to him to check on him. Meanwhile, Teddy gets to his feet, a bit shaky – and the crowd’s booing lets him know something is not right! He turns around, looking to the source of the boos to see the big, lumbering Cuban Wall stepping over the guardrail, his eyes glinting as he stares up at Teddy!

 

JR

It looks like Calvin is injured, bah gawd!

 

Wall lumbers over to where Teddy stands, grabbing Weddy’s leg and yanking him out of the ring! Calvin, seeing this, nods, and referee Soapdish prods his leg, Calvin yelping out in pain as though on cue. On the outside, Show and Teddy are locked in a scuffle, Weddy trying to amateur wrestle Wall but the smaller, more muscular big man trying to avoid this. Weddy tries to grab Wall in a collar and elbow tie-up, but the big man hops back from it, charging forward and flattening Weddy with a huge lariat!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

The Cuban grabs Weddy, lifting Teddy to his feet before grabbing him by the arm, whipping Weddy into the barrier and following close behind him! Teddy’s body goes flying into the guardrail, and as the natural reaction of Teddy bouncing off tries to take place it is cut off at the knees by Wall, who pancakes Weddy into the railing once more! The grinning Wall backs off, allowing Weddy’s limp body to fall to the padding on the outside, while inside the ring Calvin continues to yelp in pain.

 

JR

The Cuban Wall is annihilating Teddy Weddy on the outside! That’s CHEATING, bah gawd, and with PRL’s men!

 

Wall grabs Weddy’s limp form, lifting the President to his feet. Wall knees Weddy in the stomach, doubling him over and quickly pulling the President’s arms between his legs, putting him into pumphandle position. The crowd erupts in boos, knowing that the Fireman’s Carry Piledriver is on tap – and as the Wall lifts Weddy up, flipping him over in midair and placing the President on his shoulder, Teddy slides down Wall’s back, escaping the hold and winding up on the other side of Wall!

 

The crowd erupts as Wall stumbles around – only to find Weddy waiting there! The President reaches around behind Show with his left arm, quickly grabbing Matthews’ right arm and hooking it in a hammerlock. Weddy then reaches up, putting his right arm underneath Wall’s jaw and dropping to his knees, driving the Cuban’s jaw into his arm with a vicious chickenwing jawbreaker! The Cuban bounces up into the air, clutching his jaw in pain, and using all of his strength Weddy wraps both of his arms around Wall’s legs, hoisting the Cuban Wall up into the air (and getting an “OOH!” from the crowd for the impressive visual) and dropping him neck-first across the guardrail!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

The crowd roars out, cheering madly as Weddy stands up, admiring his handiwork.

 

JR

Justice delivered by the President!

 

Cuban Wall grabs his neck in pain, falling on the outside and grabbing his neck in pain as the satisfied President turns back to the ring, and Calvin, seeing Weddy back on his feet, shoves Soapdish out of the way, standing up as Teddy slides into the ring. Calvin dances away from Teddy, but as the President stands up Calvin dances back, lashing out with a high leg that catches Teddy…

 

*CRACK!*

 

Right in the jaw with a vicious Superkick! Weddy falls over as though taking a gunshot to the head, the crowd roaring for the sudden impact and then boos the man delivering it, as Calvin stands over Weddy’ fallen body, staring down at Teddy and tsk-tsking a bit before looking up at the crowd and calling out to them.

 

“It looks like Teddy just went bankrupt!”

 

The crowd goes livid with boos as Calvin stares down at Teddy, prodding his fallen body a bit with his foot. As Teddy doesn’t move, Calvin grins, heading over to the turnbuckle.

 

JR

It looks like Calvin is going to TAKE TO THE AIR!

 

Calvin climbs the turnbuckle carefully, placing his right foot very carefully on the bottom rope, then placing his left foot very carefully on the middle rope, then placing his right foot very carefully on the top rope, then places his left foot very carefully on the top rope. During the whole routing Calvin grins like a madman, the crowd booing the ever-confident Calvin as though he were Hitler incarnate, but the game show man pays them no mind, turning around on the top rope and staring out at Weddy, lying prone in the middle of the ring.

 

The Champion, realizing he doesn’t have much more time, bounces on the ropes, spinning a hundred and eighty degrees in midair and splitting his legs, landing split-legged on the ropes and springing off, backflipping in midair and landing stomach-first across Weddy’s prone body! The crowd roars for the pretty move, but boos Calvin as he bridges through, grabbing Weddy’s leg and looking for the pin. Soapdish hits the mat…

 

JR

SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT! THIS COULD BE ALL!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

 

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

 

 

TWO COUNT!”

 

Weddy barely gets the shoulder up, the crowd going absolutely nuts as Calvin stares daggers at Nick Soapdish, obviously thinking that it was a three count. Soapdish, feeling the need to verify his accuracy, holds up two fingers to Calvin, and the game show host, frustrated, hefts Weddy up, obviously looking for the knockout blow.

 

JR

We nearly had a tremendous letdown there, thank god Weddy could keep himself alive!

 

Calvin lifts Weddy up, mumbling to himself as he grabs Weddy by the arm, whipping the President hard into the ropes! Calvin, anticipating Teddy coming back, executed a perfectly timed hiptoss…

 

ON NOTHING BUT AIR!

 

Weddy grapevines both arms on the top rope, holding on, and Calvin turns around, staring daggers at Weddy for ruining his attempt at the Hiptoss Piledriver. REALLY IN ANGER with Weddy, Calvin charges the President, looking for a Cactus clothesline to send both of them over the top…

 

BUT WEDDY PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE!

 

Calvin, looking to barrel into Weddy, instead sends himself over the top rope, landing hard on the outside! A grinning Weddy slides outside, obviously on the fence about what to do to Calvin…

 

JR

TWICE Weddy gets the better of Calvin! It looks like this coul dbe over in a hurry!

 

Calvin, meanwhile, is up on the outside, and looking to absolutely MURDILIZE~! Weddy. Angrily, Calvin charges the President… but as he gets close to Teddy, Weddy wraps both arms around Calvin, grabbing him in a front waistlock and falling backwards, throwing Calvin over his head with a huge belly-to-belly! Calvin goes flying, landing on his back a good three feet behind Weddy, and the crowd pops huge for the move!

 

“THAT’S PRE SI-DEN-TIAL!” *clap clap clapclapclap*

 

“THAT’S PRE SI-DEN-TIAL!” *clap clap clapclapclap*

 

JR

HUGE OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY BY WEDDY! IT COULD BE OVER!

 

Calvin grabs his ribs in pain, and Weddy gets to his feet, a smirk on his face as he walks over to Calvin, picking the Champion up and rolling him back into the ring. Referee Soapdish, seeing the groaning Calvin, goes over to check on him, and as Weddy looks to roll into the ring his foot is grabbed! Weddy turns around, looking to see who has a hold on his leg…

 

To see Cuban Wall once again!

 

The crowd roars out in boos as Wall pulls Teddy down off the apron, grinning stupidly. Teddy looks to land an elbow to Wall’s head, but the Cuban ducks it, raising up his right arm and hooking Teddy’s neck with it! Quickly, Wall uses his right leg to grapevine Teddy’s right, and falls forward, driving Teddy back-first into the thin padding on the outside with the STO!

 

JR

STO BY CUBAN WALL! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

 

Soapdish, having checked thoroughly to make sure Calvin is okay after the nasty fall and making sure Calvin has gotten to his feet okay, turns around to see the Cuban rolling Teddy’s limp form into the ring. Soapdish goes over to the ropes, looking to scold Wall, but the Cuban simply turns around, hopping over the guardrail and disappearing through the crowd.

 

In the ring, however, Calvin pulls Teddy’s body so that it’s parallel to the turnbuckle, walking over to the buckle and climbing it quickly, not wanting this match to go on any longer than it has to. He turns around as he hits the top rope, facing out at Weddy, lying in the middle of the ring, and the thousands in attendance at the Tokyo Dome. Calvin stands up to his full height, grinning like mad.

 

“I’D LIKE SOME FUBU MERCHANDISE FOR 450 G’S!”

 

The crowd boos like mad, knowing exactly what this mean, and their fears are justified as Calvin leaps off the top rope, flipping over a full four-hundred-and-fifty degrees, his arms and legs outstretched to expose his stomach…

 

*WHUMP!*

 

And he lands hard, right on Teddy’s prone body! The crowd roars out in boos as Calvin reaches over, hooking the leg quickly and pulling on it as hard as he can, looking for the quick three…

 

JR

FUBU 450! It CAN’T be over, dammit!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!”

 

 

“TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

 

The crowd erupts in boos as Calvin rolls off of Weddy, rolling all the way out of the ring as Soapdish quickly gets to his feet, calling for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA

Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR winner, and STILL the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL-VIN SZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHSTEIN!

 

The crowd choruses in boos as Calvin gets to his feet on the outside, arms raised as Nick Soapdish rolls out of the ring, grabbing the OAOAST World Championship and jogging over to Calvin, handing the Champion his belt. Calvin holds it up high in the air in his left hand as Soapdish lifts his right hand in victory. The crowd’s booing grows even louder as Calvin kisses his World title belt, strapping it around his waist.

 

We shift to a shot of Teddy, staring angrily up the ramp at Calvin. JR’s voice feathers over Teddy’s pissed-off expression, summing up the moment perfectly.

 

JR

Calvin takes one from Teddy Weddy, and takes away in the process Ted’s World title hopes! For all of us here in Japan, and for the departed Mr. Fuji, GOODNIGHT!

[Guest Jay Z. Hollywood]

CREDITS:

 

PRODUCER

Jay "late but laid" Darring

 

WRITERS

B. Dids

#1 MST3K Mark

Mystery Eskimo

Stephen Joseph

LaParkaYourCar

Chuck Woolery

DuskTillDawn (that's me~!!!)

DonWestMark03