**smackdown! spoilers**

[Guest Human Fly]

From lordsofpain.net taped in Tuscon, AZ

 

Tonight they filmed a segment for Smackdown at the very beginning of the show in place of the dark matches. It is as follows:

 

Vince comes to the ring that is filled with a table and two chairs. Vince on the mic. I've been looking to hire a personal assistant. Since my assistant will sometimes have to appear in the general public I thought I would hold these final interviews with candidates in public. A woman comes to the ring and states her name is Sylvia Johnson. She is the nerdy type with glasses. Vince says she is not his type and tells her to leave. Vince calls for the next candidate. A man walks to the ring wearing a suit. The man sits down but crosses his legs as if he were gay. Vince tells him to leave before he can even say anything. An older blonde comes to the ring and sits down. Her name is Sue Achenson. She can type 95 words a minute and she can take dictation. Vince likes that. She answers yes that she can do personal favors. Vince is in favor of hiring her unless there is someone else who can give him an offer he can't refuse. Stacy Keibler comes to the ring dressed as Miss Hancock. Stacy tells Sue to take a walk because she is not getting her job. Stacy says she will not tell Vince her qualifications, she will show them. Stacy gets on the table and starts dancing. Vince falls backwards in his chair. Vince repositions himself at the table. Stacy wraps her legs around Vince's neck. With a big smile, Vince says she is hired. Vince and Stacy walk to the back. BTW, for those wondering, Vince did call her Stacy and not Miss Hancock.

 

The ring crew removes the table and chairs from the ring, and changes the ring apron to the traditional red & black WWF for Jakked.

 

Mark Loyd and Al Snow come to the announce table for Jakked.

 

***JAKKED/METAL***

 

Lance Storm vs Sho Funaki

Dropkick by Funaki. Funaki misses a corner splash. Dropkick by Storm for a two count. Long standing suplex (British Bulldog style) by Storm for a two count. Storm chokes Funaki on the ropes. Jawbreaker by Storm. Storm with a second rope legdrop for a two count. Drop toe hold by Funaki. Schoolboy by Funaki for the pin.

Winner: Sho Funaki

 

Christian vs Hugh Morrus

Morrus shoves Christian down. Christian escapes a press slam and hits the backbreaker across his knee. Christian chokes Morrus on the ropes. Christian with a reverse chinlock. Morrus tosses Christian off the top turnbuckle. Morrus hits a running corner splash followed by a pancake slam for a two count. Powerslam by Morrus for a two count. Christian throws a fit after Morrus kicks out of the unprettier. Morrus hits his no laughing matter moonsault for the pin.

Winner: Hugh Morrus

 

WWF Cruiserweight Championship

Chavo Guerrero vs Billy Kidman

Kidman with a headscissors takeover. Chavo catapults Kidman out of the ring. Chavo with a baseball slide followed by a suicide dive to the outside on Kidman. Back in the ring Chavo locks on a reverse chinlock. Kidman with a huricanrana. Chavo drops Kidman across the ropes. Kidman counters Chavo's missile dropkick with a dropkick of his own. Backdrop by Kidman. Chavo with a ddt for a two count. Chavo with a german suplex bridge for a two count. Short powerbomb by Kidman. Chavo crotches Kidman on the ropes. Kidman hits a variation of roll the dice for the pin. After the match Chavo gives Kidman the brainbuster.

Winner: Billy Kidman

 

Diamond Dallas Page vs Hardcore Holly

Fireman's carry by Holly. Short arm clothesline by DDP. Dropkick by Holly. Holly stretches DDP from the ropes by his feet and kicks him from the underside in the ribs. DDP chops Holly in the corner. DDP walks into a big boot. Clothesline by Holly. Suplex by Holly for a two count. DP crotches Holly on the top rope. DDP follows up and hits a superplex. Clothesline by DDP for a two count. Powerbomb by DDP for a two count. DDP clotheslines Holly out of the ring, DDP falls out as well. Both men fight on the outside and get double counted out. Both men trade punches and have to be seperated by referees.

Double Countout

 

Tazz and Jonathan Coachman come to the announce table for Smackdown.

 

The Honor Guard from the local army base comes in front of the ring and presents the colors.

 

***SMACKDOWN***

 

Triple H vs Kurt Angle and Chris Jericho vs Edge for tonight are shown on the oval tron during the Smackdown opening.

 

Kurt Angle comes to the ring. Kurt Angle on the mic. Last week in the mood that apparently was good for business, Vince sais that Triple H would be defending his title at Backlash against Hogan. Please. Does Vince actually think people want to see that match? Does Vince velieve that people would rather see Hogan go for the title instead of your olymic hero? In the olympics I beat Russian and Iranians a heck of a lot tougher than Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik. If that's not bad enough, Flair made Austin vs Undertaker for a chance to face the champion after Backlash, so your olympic hero will not have a title shot for a very long time. I am better than anyone on raw or Smackdowm. It's damn true. Tonight I will prove just that. Tonight I requested a non title match against Triple H. I'm gonna prove to the whole world just what would have happened if Vince wouldn't have gone mental and made the Triple H/Hogan match at Backlash. You people are rude. I didn't have people chanting what when I won the gold medal in Atlanta. Those people had respect for their heros. Not you idiots here in Tucson. Every time I say a sentence I want you people to respond by saying "it's true". Crowd starts chanting "what".

 

Edge comes out to the top of the stage with a mic in hand. How do I tell you this? Your olympic gold medal win was inspiring. But more importantly it was 6 years ago. You need to get out of the past and start living in the present. Since you are not gonna be getting any title shots any time soon, maybe you and I can finish some unsettled business at Backlash.

 

At Backlash it will be my honor to kick your ass.

 

Kurt, I'm gonna say something you don't hear very often, but it's a date. These people shouldn't chant what after everything you say. Austin came up with that and he is on Raw now. These people should chant something else when you say something. Something very special, something very you. Every time Angle speaks everyone should chant "you suck".

 

Hold on a second people. Cut it out. That's enough. This conversation is over. Play my music. No don't play my music, don't play it. Crowd chants "you suck" with the music.

 

-commercial-

 

Backstage, Jericho tells Angle he just saw what happened. Jericho says Edge is a punk. Jericho tells Angle before he gets to face Edge at Backlash, he will beat the living hell out of Edge tonight. Angle says if there is anything he can't stand, it's a loud mouth canadian with long hair who dresses like a rock star, except for you Jericho. Jericho and Angle agree to watch each others backs tonight.

 

Tajiri w/ Torrie Wilson vs The Hurricane

Tajiri has Torrie dressed in a women's Japanese long robe, but you can tell she does not like it. Match starts with Hurricane flying out of the ring on Tajiri. Hurricane with a top rope sunset flip for a two count. Tajiri with a spinning heel kick. Tajiri with a knee drop across the head. Torrie is shown cheering Tajiri on at ringside. Tajiri kicks Hurricane in the head. On the outside, Tajiri hits a huricanrana. Back in the ring Hurricane hits a top rope frankensteiner. Hurricane with a suplex. Tajiri kicks Hurricane in the head for the pin. Torrie enters the ring. Tajiri says a few things in japanese. Torrie gets scared. Tajiri turns around and Kidman hits him with a missile dropkick. Kidman leaves with Tajiri staring at him.

Winner: Tajiri

 

Backstage, Stacy Keibler enters Vince's office. Vince is not there so she decides to wait by laying on the couch and reads a WWF magazine.

 

-commercial-

 

Godfather w/o escorts vs The Big Valbowski

Before the match a clip is shown from Jakked this past Saturday of Godfather dumping his escorts and attacking Val. Match starts off with punches by Val. Side russian leg sweep by Val. Godfather with a hard irish whip. Godfather rams Val in the corner. Godfather with a belly to back suplex. Godfather chokes Val on the ropes. Clothesline by Godfather. Godfather loosens the turnbuckle. Val with a shoulder block. val with a knee drop. Suplex by Val for a two count. Val with a powerbomb for a two count. Godfather side steps Val, Val hits the exposed turnbuckle. Godfather brings the time bell in the ring but the referee takes it away. While the ref's back is turned Godfather hits Val in the throat with his pimp stick. Ref turns around and Godfather gets the pin.

Winner: Godfather

 

Backstage, Stacy asks Vince if he has given any thought to her being his assistant. Vince says he is looking at a few more applicants, that he will interview tonight, but she is open to apply. Stacy says she will up the offer this time with her interview.

 

-commercial-

 

Backstage, Sharmel Sullivan waits outside Hogan's locker room.

 

Backstage, Rico, Chuck, and Billy are making fun of Maven's eyebrows. Al Snow walks up and makes fun of Rico. Rico challenges Snow to a match with Chuck. Snow accepts.

 

Backstage, Sharmel Sullivan interviews Hogan. Hogan says he has been doing a lot of thinking since last week. He wonders if he can be the champion just one more time. Hogan says Triple H can rise from anything. Jericho walks up and tells Hogan to be very careful of his match with Triple H. If Triple H loses all his rehab and his title win at WrestleMania will all go down the drain. LordsofPain.net. Triple H will go to any depths to beat you Hogan and to hold onto that belt. The match will not end with any handshake. What are you gonna do Hogan when all that reality comes crashing down?

 

-commercial-

 

Chris Jericho vs Edge

Chops by Jericho. Edge with a spinning heel kick followed by a pancake slam. Chops by Edge. Edge tosses Jericho out of the ring. Edge with a baseball slide which sends Jericho across the announce table. Edge with a to rope crossbody for a two count. Clothesline by Jericho. Jericho chokes Edge on the ropes. Suplex by Jericho. Both men trade punches. Rollup by Edge for a two count. Jericho with two elbow drops for a two count. Edge sidesteps and Jericho runs shoulder first into the ring post. Flying forearm by Edge. Edge with a top rope sunset flip, Jericho rolls through. Angle enters the ring and Edge spears him out. Jericho with the bulldog on Edge followed by the lionsault on raised knees. Edge with a rollup for a two count. Edge catapults Jericho into the referee. Edge locks on a leg submission but the ref is out. Clothesline by Jericho. Jericho brings a chair in the ring. Edge spears Jericho for a two count. Angle drops Edge throat first across the ropes. Jericho rolls Edge up for the pin. Edge chases Angle to the back.

Winner: Chris Jericho

 

Edge and Angle are shown fighting in the back. Jericho runs up and he and Angle double team Edge. Angle puts Edge in the ankle lock. Hogan runs up to make the save but Jericho gets a cheap shot on Hogan. Jericho and Angle quickly run away.

 

-commercial-

 

The mid-card wrestlers are shown placing bets on Mark Henry as they walk through the hallway.

 

Albert vs Scotty Too Hotty

Alberts is wearing trunks, not pants, and he has no shirt on. Match starts off with Albert kicking Scotty down in the corner. Albert rips Scotty's shirt off. Scotty fights back with right hands. Albert catapults Scotty throat first into the ropes for a two count. LordsofPain.net. Both men trade chops. Bear hug by Albert. Scotty bites Albert on the head to get out of the bear hug. Both men clothesline each other at the same time. Albert walks into a big boot. Missile dropkick by Scotty for a two count. Scotty hits the bulldog. Albert intercepts the worm. Baldo bomb by Albert for the pin. After the match Albert continues his attack on Scotty. Albert hits a vader bomb. Rikishi hits the ring and superkicks Albert out.

Winner: Albert

 

In the parking garage, Faarooq tells the wrestlers that Mark Henry will place his back against the wall and hold the limo in place for 30 seconds with his legs while Test tries to drive it toward him. Test revs the engine and Faarooq tells him to quit playing. Test steps on the gas pedal and Henry holds the limo with his legs. The back tires are smoking. Test revs the engine even higher. Faarooq asks Test what the hell he is doing. Test says the accelerator was stuck.

 

-commercial-

 

Backstage, Dvon, dressed in a suit, enters Vince's office. Vince says he sent Dvon out last Thursday night to find himself. Dvon says he did that but he found something else. He found the man above. He (the man above) said Dvon, I have a mission for you. Concern yourself with the citizens out there. They need the safety. In order for me to get that vision across I need one special thing. I need a benefactor. Vince says he is a very rich man and it would be his honor for Dvon to help the sinners of this world. Vince says they have a deal and shakes Dvon's hand. Testify.

 

Backstage, Hogan enters Triple H's dressing room. Hogan tells Triple H of Angle and Jericho forming a buddy system tonight. Hogan says he will watch Triple H's back tonight. Triple H says their match at Backlash will be a fight for everything that he has and everything that he is. Over the next 10 days, the next time you barge into my locker room, I'm gonna take that as an aggressive action, and then I will take action myself. As far as your offer tonight of watching my back. No thanks. I can take care of myself. This belt means that I am the best, the king of kings. This belt right here means that I am the game, and I am that damn good. Being said, let's you and I just stick to the philosophy of your on your own and I'm on my own. When we get to Backlash there will be no regrest and no apologoies. Hogan says he has played the game longer than anyone. That is why he always asks, whatcha gonna do?

 

-commercial-

 

Chuck w/ Rico and Billy vs Al Snow w/ Maven

Punches by Chuck. Al with a crossbody. Clothesline by Al. Chuck kicks Al down in the corner. Chuck with two overhead belly to belly suplexes for a two count. Al with repeated headbutts followed by a clothesline. Backdrop by Al. Al goes for the snow plow but Billy pulls Al's leg making Chuck fall on Al for a two count. LordsofPain.net. Maven chases Rico through the crowd. Superkick by Chuck for a two count. Al hits the snowplow for the pin. Billy tried to break the count but Maven prevented him from entering the ring. Al mocks Rico on his way up the ramp.

Winner: Al Snow

 

Angle is shown walking to the ring.

 

-commercial-

 

Non Title Match

Kurt Angle vs Triple H

Shoulder block by Triple H. Triple H pulls Angle's pants down during a sunset flip, exposing his thong. Triple H drags Angle all around ringside with his shorts pulled down. Angle whips Triple H into the ring steps. Back in the ring Angle finally pulls his shorts up. Angle with multiple german suplexes for a two count. Angle with an overhead belly to belly suplex for a two count. Chops by Angle. Sleeper by Angle. Triple H counters with a backdrop followed by a ddt. Triple H with a high knee followed by a neckbreaker. Choke by Triple H. Spinebuster by Triple H, Jericho breaks the ref's count. Triple H throws Jericho out of the ring. LordsofPain.net. Triple H goes for the pedigree on Angle. Jericho re-enters and hits Triple H with a bulldog followed by a lionsault. Angle rolls over for a two count. Jericho attacks the ref then he and Angle double team Triple H. Hogan runs to the ring, hulks up, and starts cleaning house. Hogan clotheslines Jericho out of the ring. Hogan follows out and fights with Jericho on the floor. Triple H hits Angle with the pedigree for the pin.

Winner: Triple H

 

Triple H looks up and sees Hogan fighting Jericho to the back. Triple H gets on the mic and says maybe Hogan didn't hear him the first time he told Hogan not to help him. Hogan walks back to the ring and gets in Triple H's face. Triple H says he respects Hogan, but with all due respect, until Backlash stay ut of my business. Hogan says until Backlash, Triple H is his only business. Angle enters the ring from behind and pushes Triple H into Hogan, knocking both men down. Angle quickly runs out. Hogan and Triple H get back up. Triple H turns around and receives the big boot followed by the leg drop. Jericho and Angle re-enter the ring and attacks Hogan and Triple H with the title. Hogan and Triple H finally clear the ring of Angle and Jericho with the simultaneous leg drop and pedigree.

 

Hogan and Triple H stare at each other while Hogan's music plays. Triple H does the ear calling thing. Hogan does it, too, to a louder pop. Then they both do it at the same time to an even louder pop. Hogan and Triple H do the hulk flexes. Hogan walks to the back. Triple H's music plays and he directs the crowd's response to Hogan. Triple H does his signature poses on the turnbuckles. Triple H walks to the back.

 

Chimmel thanks everyone for coming.

 

That is all...

[Guest Human Fly]

I agree with bcu1979 in the other thread. The writers are smoking some crack with some of these results. Morrus and Funkai???? Double C.O. with Holly and DDP, what could no one lose the heat?

[Guest bcu1979]

If you take out Vince's pathetic need to feed his ego, this actually sounds like an entertaining show. Jericho/Edge, Tajiri/Hurricane and Angle/Triple H should all be good matches.

 

I'll wait and see how it comes on tv, but it sure doesn't seem like they are doing much to build up Angle and Jericho as main event heels. They run away from Hogan?? Hopefully the show ends with Angle & Jericho beating on the two HHH's and not them getting beat up once again.

 

Is Jericho going to go from wrestling in the main event of Mania to not even being on the frigging card for Backlash?

 

Assuming each side gets 4 matches, that would leave Edge/Angle, Rikishi/Albert, Tajiri/Kidman & Billy/Chuck v. Maven/Snow as the Backlash matches for the SD side. Unless they make it a 3-way with Edge & Angle, Jericho appears to be completely out in the cold for the next PPV.

[Guest Risk]

This has reaffirmed my hate for the WWF.  I managed to not watch most of Smackdown!, proving I can overcome my wrestling addiction if there is something on that sucks.  I'll just mute all of the nostalgia and watch the cruisers.

[Guest alfdogg]

Wow, Angle jobs to HHH, never seen that before.

 

9 more posts until I get the call...

[Guest Will Scarlet]

Well, the Tajiri thing sounds interesting, of course, I am such a huge Tajiri mark that just having him get a push makes me excited.  But the rest, well, I am not sure. ???

 

While it is nice for the WWF to remember that Jakked does indeed exist, I wonder how many people who watch the WWF actually know about it.  It seems from the Jakked footage that they are wanting to give Godfather a push.  Hey, I am fine with this, as I feel the Godfather is a partially useful commodity for the WWF, if used right.  Unfortunately, the WWF is doing one of their bad habits where they feel that if a guy gets wins over guys considered to be higher on the card than he is, then he will be considered to be higher up on the card by virtue of the victory.  The problem being is that the guy who lost just goes down a few notches as the other guy is still upon looked as being a jobber/midcarder/whatever.  It especially sucks that they pushing a has been like Godfather while guys like Lance Storm and Christian are jobbing.  Storm and Christian have, in my opinion, the potential to become solid upper midcarders, who might just be able to sneak into the main event.  Godfather can, at best, be a stopgap, until the creative team finds someone better to push.  Too bad the WWF already has a ton of guys who are better and should be getting pushed.  Personally, I would stick Godfather with someone, and have him go after the tag belts until you can get more established teams to compete for the belts.

 

D-Von with a religious gimmick?  I remember reading Wrestlecrap and the guy on there offering words of wisdom to future wrestling bookers.  Those words being, "Religious gimmicks never get over." or something like that.   And it looks like this gimmick will soon be another example to prove that theory.  Poor D-Von.  Bubba Ray is being built up as someone who might actually get over, while D-Von looks to be another WWF jobber.  

 

Otherwise, everything seemed to be the same old stuff the WWF always puts out to bore the fans.  Ah well.  Better luck next week.

[Guest Anorak]

Every backstage skit at the moment seems like an excuse for the WWF to plug one of it's magazines, it's getting ridiculous. The Vince/Stacy segment sounds horrible but i'm sure worse is yet to come.

[Guest RickyB]

It looks like we'll have a Jericho/Hogan feud after Backlash from the looks of things.

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

I could live with Jericho/Hogan, if only to see Y2J verbally abuse the Hulkster.

 

I'm sick of Vince getting involved with all these women. Its just very sad.

[Guest JHawk]

It doesn't actually sound like that bad a show if the matches were given time to develop (and if they show the entire match instead of editing two minutes of it to keep the plugs for the WWF Divas swimsuit issue).

 

But why tape that personal assistant interview segment first, then show the vignettes leading up to it later on?  Unless they were shooting for reaction to see if they want to bother at all, but even then, they'd have to hold off for a week before showing it, I'd think.

 

Why am I trying to think logically after getting the call to Metal?

[Guest Midnight Express83]

hmmm...what would be a good name for the Jericho-Angle tag team? To pay homage to Zenk: The Can-Am Connection.

[Guest Goodear]

I must be really bored but for free of charge I will give you, my *cough* many fans, my thoughts and impressions on the booking choices on Smackdown.  I'd say stuff about the match quality but I haven't seen the matches, obviously.

 

Vince comes to the ring that is filled with a table and two chairs. ... (blah, blah, blah)  Stacy gets on the table and starts dancing. Vince falls backwards in his chair. Vince repositions himself at the table. Stacy wraps her legs around Vince's neck. With a big smile, Vince says she is hired. Vince and Stacy walk to the back. BTW, for those wondering, Vince did call her Stacy and not Miss Hancock.

 

Well, that adds Stacy to the list of ladies subjected to horny Vince.  I'm not quite sure why the WWF can't figure out (hot chicks = good) but (hot chicks + old man grabbing = bad).  Hey look, I did math.  I mean the natural instinct is to cheer the horndog action, but it is happening to one of the most hated figures in WWF history.  Hopefully, they'll have Stacy playing Vince like a fiddle instead of the usual 'Vince gets angry and degrades the woman skit'.

 

***JAKKED/METAL***

 

Lance Storm vs Sho Funaki

Schoolboy by Funaki for the pin.

Winner: Sho Funaki

 

Wow, the WWF must really not like Storm.  I mean really.  Losing to Funaki is like one step away from losing to Patterson and Brisco anymore.  I don't see why the WWF are player hating him quite so much, maybe Storm pushes down nuns in his free time.

 

Christian vs Hugh Morrus

Christian throws a fit after Morrus kicks out of the unprettier. Morrus hits his no laughing matter moonsault for the pin.

Winner: Hugh Morrus

 

It must be opposite day, where none of the booking is the same.  Morrus has absolutely no business kicking out of the unprettier (I would have to guess someone made an error and he really kicked out of the Revere DDT).  The 'throwing a fit so badly that you lay there for a top rope move' has got to be the dumbest thing ever.  I thought Christian turned a corner on that angle, but I also thought Morrus was a heel, so what do I know?

 

WWF Cruiserweight Championship

Chavo Guerrero vs Billy Kidman

Kidman hits a variation of roll the dice for the pin. After the match Chavo gives Kidman the brainbuster.

Winner: Billy Kidman

 

Sounds good to me.  I still think the WWF crowd needs to get a proper introduction to Chavo and Billy.  Tossing them together most likely isn't really the best thing they could do, but its not horrible either.

 

Diamond Dallas Page vs Hardcore Holly

Both men fight on the outside and get double counted out. Both men trade punches and have to be seperated by referees.

Double Countout

 

Talk about guys the WWF doesn't really like, DDP has to be right behind Storm on that list.  I know Hardcore is just coming back and all, but he's not as good as Page and sure as shooting shouldn't be going to double count outs with the man.

 

***SMACKDOWN***

 

Kurt Angle comes to the ring. Kurt Angle on the mic.

 

Was there some sort of law passed that a Kurt Angle interview has to start every single episode of Smackdown?  Mix it up, yo.

 

Edge: maybe you and I can finish some unsettled business at Backlash.

 

Time for a blowoff!  YAY!

 

Austin came up with that and he is on Raw now. These people should chant something else when you say something. Something very special, something very you. Every time Angle speaks everyone should chant "you suck".

 

Has telling the fans what to chant ever worked?  They chant what they want to chant.  Why can't the WWF be happy that they have fans so into a certain thing, they will chant it even if the originator isn't even on that program?

 

Tajiri w/ Torrie Wilson vs The Hurricane

Tajiri has Torrie dressed in a women's (Kimono! is that so hard?) Tajiri says a few things in japanese. Torrie gets scared. Tajiri turns around and Kidman hits him with a missile dropkick. Kidman leaves with Tajiri staring at him.

Winner: Tajiri

 

Does Torrie even know what Tajiri is saying?  I mean if he's being all "FU bitch," she should have just been like "Oh TAG, I'm gone."  And if she doesn't know what he's saying, how the crap have they spent all this time together as valet/wrestler?  Anyway, Torrie should have already jumped to Kidman and made Tajiri all kinds of crazy.

 

Godfather w/o escorts vs The Big Valbowski

While the ref's back is turned Godfather hits Val in the throat with his pimp stick. Ref turns around and Godfather gets the pin.

Winner: Godfather

 

Godfather cheated like a mutha!  But the thing is, the guy was over because of Hos and Ho Trains.  All this escort junk was bound to fail, and taking them away entirely will kill his heat deader than Big Show's dad.  

 

Chris Jericho vs Edge

Angle drops Edge throat first across the ropes. Jericho rolls Edge up for the pin. Edge chases Angle to the back.

Winner: Chris Jericho

 

Works for me.  Although I'm a might bit tired of the "throat on the ropes drop" being the method of cheating for interfearing heels.

 

Albert vs Scotty Too Hotty

Alberts is wearing trunks, not pants, and he has no shirt on.

Baldo bomb by Albert for the pin. After the match Albert continues his attack on Scotty. Albert hits a vader bomb. Rikishi hits the ring and superkicks Albert out.

Winner: Albert

 

What the hell are they thinking?  Albert in just tights?  EWWWWWWWWWW.  I know Buffybeast might have a heart attack o' love, but thats just got to be pretty freaking repulsive.  Rikishi + Scotty = II Cool II?

 

In the parking garage, Faarooq tells the wrestlers that Mark Henry will place his back against the wall and hold the limo in place for 30 seconds with his legs while Test tries to drive it toward him. Test revs the engine and Faarooq tells him to quit playing. Test steps on the gas pedal and Henry holds the limo with his legs. The back tires are smoking. Test revs the engine even higher. Faarooq asks Test what the hell he is doing. Test says the accelerator was stuck.

 

I remember when Jimmy Hart was doing this sort of thing with Joe Le Duc in Memphis.  Anyway, of all the people to pick to drive a car into you, why would you pick a heel?  They are evil!  Until they turn good again, of course.

 

Vince says he is a very rich man and it would be his honor for D-Von to help the sinners of this world. Vince says they have a deal and shakes D-Von's hand. Testify.

 

Oooookay.  Hopefully D-Von will help the sinners of the world, like, sin more.  Now there's a angle the marks could get behind instead of being RTD-Von.

 

-commercial-

 

Chuck w/ Rico and Billy vs Al Snow w/ Maven

Superkick by Chuck for a two count. Al hits the snowplow for the pin. Billy tried to break the count but Maven prevented him from entering the ring. Al mocks Rico on his way up the ramp.

Winner: Al Snow

 

Maven: Tag Team Champion.  Get used to the sound.

 

Non Title Match

Kurt Angle vs Triple H

 

Hogan clotheslines Jericho out of the ring. Hogan follows out and fights with Jericho on the floor. Triple H hits Angle with the pedigree for the pin.

Winner: Triple H

 

Its all about doing the jobs.  As long as the main event goes to a three count, I'm happy.

 

Triple H turns around and receives the big boot followed by the leg drop.

 

Awesome.

[Guest]

Quote  

Lance Storm vs Sho Funaki

Schoolboy by Funaki for the pin.

Winner: Sho Funaki

 

 

Wow, the WWF must really not like Storm.  I mean really.  Losing to Funaki is like one step away from losing to Patterson and Brisco anymore.  I don't see why the WWF are player hating him quite so much, maybe Storm pushes down nuns in his free time.

 

Quote  

Christian vs Hugh Morrus

Christian throws a fit after Morrus kicks out of the unprettier. Morrus hits his no laughing matter moonsault for the pin.

Winner: Hugh Morrus

 

 

It must be opposite day, where none of the booking is the same.  Morrus has absolutely no business kicking out of the unprettier (I would have to guess someone made an error and he really kicked out of the Revere DDT).  The 'throwing a fit so badly that you lay there for a top rope move' has got to be the dumbest thing ever.  I thought Christian turned a corner on that angle, but I also thought Morrus was a heel, so what do I know?

What the Hell is going on here? Guys like Godfather & Maven get bigger pushes then Christian and Storm? I understand Storm can make almost anyone look good in the ring but that doesn't mean make him a damn jobber. In almost every Ross Report he talks about how good Storm is and how a push is coming. I'm still fuckin' waiting! To job Storm out to Sho Funaki is just total crap.

 

What the Hell did Storm and Christian do to get jobbed out like this? I know they travel together. Maybe they showed up late a few times? Either that or they forgot to carry the main eveners like Taker and X-Pacs bags.

 

and the WWF wonders why the Internet and "Smarks" hate them.

[Guest What?!]

I don't think we should be down for Lance Storm. We should be happy for Funaki. I mean, this is his first win singles win since who knows when.

 

Anyways, I think the D-Von gimmick might work if he's all evil and such. I dunno.

 

Of course I'm the only one who probably likes Dirty Old Vince.

[Guest Human Fly]

I hope D-Von gets over. Him being with Vince will probably help. I'm still befuddled about Storm and Christian. What in the world? I hope it was a istake and Morrus didn't kick out of the unprettier. If so, that really is messed up. Are they trying to bury him? Also, I guess Val Venis's main event push got stopped before it got started.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Hey, I am fine with this, as I feel the Godfather is a partially useful commodity for the WWF, if used right.

 

If his part is nothing.

[Guest]

""In the parking garage, Faarooq tells the wrestlers that Mark Henry will place his back against the wall and hold the limo in place for 30 seconds with his legs while Test tries to drive it toward him. Test revs the engine and Faarooq tells him to quit playing. Test steps on the gas pedal and Henry holds the limo with his legs. The back tires are smoking. Test revs the engine even higher. Faarooq asks Test what the hell he is doing. Test says the accelerator was stuck.""

 

 

I could have sworn I saw this same thing when I was at Smackdown last week, well we saw like half of it. I'm assuming this was taped last week and just being shown tonight?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

okay, the vince stuff is shit and i'm changing the channel when it comes on. dido for all the backstage segments.

 

albert in trunks? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

 

the tajiri/kidman angle is interesting so i'm sure it'll get fucked up.

 

they have all the talent you need for a great promotion and the best they can do is have Vince interview people and for mark henry to hold a car in place?

[Guest]

I coulda sworn that I saw the Faarooq/Henry angle also.

 

and I liked it.

 

When it was done in 1984 by Ken Patera, Al Hayes and Vince McMahon.

[Guest Loss4Words]

Hogan v Jericho could be very compelling if Jericho is allowed plenty of mic time and at least one temper tantrum like he threw against the Rock in January. While I'm not advocating an angle filled with Russo-ish shoot comments, I would think that Jericho's real feelings toward Hogan would shine through and motivate him here. Also, Hogan v Rock is done, Hogan v HHH will be done this month and Hogan v Jericho will most likely be done next month. Unless they go for Hogan v Angle as well and then move him to Raw to do "dream matches" with Taker and Austin, I think the gravy train is about to run out, if only because he's running out of money matches.

 

Hogan's the kind of guy you have to have in a big angle all of the time. You can't have him just there or he's useless. But I do admit that the WWF is SOOOO doing the right thing here by striking while the iron is hot. If only they took that same approach when midcarders got over, business might be a little better right now.

 

But I'm sure Jericho and Angle will keep Hulk tied up at least until the Rock returns in June. After that, I'm not sure what Hogan's future holds.

[Guest Cataclysm911]

I don't know what to say. Wrestling entertains me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. I got bored just reading the Smackdown spoilers, not because of all of the type-o's that an actual, somewhat credible source would allow to be posted, not because of the shameless plug thrown in mid paragraph, but because just reading about what is going to happen bored me.

 

Vince needs competition.

[Guest imajackoff?]

Vince comes to the ring that is filled with a table and two chairs. ... (blah, blah, blah)  Stacy gets on the table and starts dancing. Vince falls backwards in his chair. Vince repositions himself at the table. Stacy wraps her legs around Vince's neck. With a big smile, Vince says she is hired. Vince and Stacy walk to the back. BTW, for those wondering, Vince did call her Stacy and not Miss Hancock.

 

Well, that adds Stacy to the list of ladies subjected to horny Vince.  I'm not quite sure why the WWF can't figure out (hot chicks = good) but (hot chicks + old man grabbing = bad).  Hey look, I did math.  I mean the natural instinct is to cheer the horndog action, but it is happening to one of the most hated figures in WWF history.  Hopefully, they'll have Stacy playing Vince like a fiddle instead of the usual 'Vince gets angry and degrades the woman skit'.

This reminds of what Meltzer said on WOL this past weekend when trying to explain why Keibler was being teamed with McMahon.  He said (im paraphrasing) that there is a tendancy for men and women put together in angles to eventually become couples themselves.  This sounds to me like a nice way of saying that Vince wants to fuck Stacy.

 

Then there is this from www.wrestlingobserver.com today:

 

"Vince McMahon is headed to Australia right now with Stacy Keibler and Mark Henry.

 McMahon will be doing an interview for 2 Day FM Radio via the OZ stereo network in

 Australia over the weekend which will get national play. A press conference takes place

 tomorrow in Melbourne for the August PPV show there. (thanks to David Boothroyd)"

 

Hmmmm.... does Vince usually go overseas for promotional work??  I thought that was more Shane's thing.  Something tells me that Mark won't being seeing much of the other two outside of the promotional engagements.

[Guest Smeghead]

I was at the Smackdown tapings last night, and there are a few mistakes with these results.

 

1) Before the interview segment, there was a match between Test and Farooq.  At first I thought it was a dark match, but the ring and Tron were set up for Smackdown.  So this match may end up on TV.  It would make sense, since the situation with Test nearly running over Mark Henry could lead up to it.  Why they taped it first I don't know.  Farooq gets the pin after a spinebuster.

 

2) JHawk asked why they would do the interview segment first, and then do the backstage stuff with Stacy and Vince leading up to it.  Well, they didn't.  The opposite happened.  After Test vs. Farooq, they show Stacy walking into Vince's office.  He's not there, so she puts her feet up, much to the fans' delight, and waits.  Then the Tron goes off for a moment.  When it comes back on, Vince enters the room, and they talk for a moment.  Then they do the interviews in the ring.  Again, I'm not sure why they'd do this before the Jakked/Metal tapings.

 

3) Goodear's assumption is correct.  Hugh Morrus did not kick out of the Unprettier.  He kicked out of a reverse DDT.

 

By the way, Goodear asked if trying to get the fans to chant something has ever worked.  Answer:  yes.  It worked on the night of the draft.  "You are...an asshole!"  Remember that?  And it worked in Tucson last night.

 

Angle:  "That's enough!"

 

Crowd:  "You suck!"

 

Angle:  "I mean it!"

 

Crowd:  "You suck!"

 

Angle:  "Cut it out!"

 

Crowd:  "You suck!"

[Guest bcu1979]

Lance Storm said on his website that he was supposed to win the match against Funaki but there was a miscommunication somewhere and he ended up getting pinned by a sunset flip. He wasn't sure if it was his fault for thinking the count was only at 2 or if the bell guy messed up and rang the bell early.

 

I believe he said he wasn't sure if it was even going to air. It doesn't matter in the long run since so few people even watch Jakked. But it's nice to know that the WWF wasn't planning to have Storm job to Funaki. Now if he can only make it back to Smackdown one day.

[Guest Smeghead]

Actually, that explains a lot.  After Funaki got the pin, they started playing Storm's music.  They switched to the KaiEnTai music a minute later.  Now I know why that happened.