Promo: a little late

[Guest Low Brass]

Low Brass arrives at the Gund Arena!!!  It's Promo time!

 

LowB: Ladies and Gentlemen.  Two days ago was my ONE year anniversary in the IGNJL.  One whole year.  Well, I've just come to say that that is a long time.

 

The crowd sits quietly.

 

LowB: Oh, and I've got a new X Force 9 announcement!

 

The crowd cheers.

 

LowB: There will be an established leader for XF9 within the month.  What I ask is that Ash and Erek play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.  The winner of 7 of 13 of these games will be crowned the leader of X Force 9.....

 

The crowd leaps in cheers.

 

LowB: Hold on.  They will be crowned ONLY after they then defeat the other in an arm wrestling match that requires 4 falls to win.  One continuous match with 4 falls being needed.  However, the loser of the Rock, Paper, Scissors compeition can redeem himself if HE should score 5 falls in the arm wrestling match.

 

The crowd kind of cheers, confused.

 

LowB: If the loser of the Rock, Paper, Scissors round wins the arm wrestling match, there will be one final competition to determine the winner.  That final competition will be none other than......

 

The crowd sits in anticipation of some massive wrestling match such as Hell-in-a-Cell, or Stairway to Hell, or some other match with Hell in the name.

 

LowB: It will be... a relay race!!!!

 

The crowd is silent and confused again.

 

LowB: They will race beginning from the ring, up the ramp, to the backstage, through the kitchen, through the dining area, then they MUST go to the bathroom, just number 1, no number 2's are necessary.  After using the bathroom, they must carry a cadbury cream egg, on a spoon, in their mouths, to the parking lot where I will be waiting to eat the eggs and declare a winner.  The first person to me, with the unharmed cadbury cream egg for me to eat, will be declared the winner.

 

silence.

 

massive cheers.

 

LowB: One last announcement.  There is a new member of X Force 9.  He is will be revealed along with the new leader.

 

The crowd cheers some more.

 

LowB: THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  GOODNIGHT!

 

END PROMO

 

------------------------

 

Erek and Ash, I'd like for you guys to write these on the side, as long as they don't interfere with your normal matches.  However, I'd like it to be done by the end of the month please.  If you're confused, this is how the tournament will go.

 

Round 1: Rock, Paper, Scissors competition.  

 

Best 7 out of 13 wins.  Competition takes place in the ring with me as the referee.  I'll count to three as you two swing your hands.  When I get three, both of you will choose either Rock, Paper, or Scissors.  Rock is denoted as a fist.  Scissors is denoted as the index and middle fingers extended in a "V" fasion.  Paper is denoted as a flat palm face down.  Rock beats scissors by smashing it.  Scissors beats paper by cutting it.  Paper beats rock by wrapping it up and mailing it to Afghanistan ((as if you guys didn't already know how to play)).  Matches need to be PMed to me.

Word limit: 6000 words (I really have no idea how long these'll be.  I'm guessing 1000, but I felt like giving you guys extra room, just incase you hit 1001 )

 

When I receive the matches, I'll mark them myself, post it in a promo and declare the winner.

 

Round 2: Arm Wrestling competiton.

 

This is one continuous match.  I'll referee as you two arm wrestle on the standard arm wrestling podium thingy.  The winner of the Round 1 needs to score 4 falls here to win this round.  The loser of Round 1 must score 5 falls to move to round three.  A fall is when person 1 shoves person 2's hand onto the pad on the side.  When a fall is scored, I'll position your hands back at center high, and then the next fall begins.  No breaks.

Word Limit: 6000

 

I'll mark the matches and declare a winner as before in a promo.

 

Round 3 (if necessary): Relay Race competition.

 

The race will begin in the ring.  You two will, on my signal over the Smarktron, race up the ramp, to the backstage, through the kitchen, through the dining area, then to the bathroom.  You must force yourself to take a piss in bathroom, just number 1, no number 2's are necessary.  So drink a lot of water or something.  After using the bathroom, you must carry a cadbury cream egg, on a spoon, in your mouths, to the parking lot where I will be waiting to eat the eggs and declare a winner.  The first person to me, with the unharmed cadbury cream egg for me to eat, will be declared the winner.  Simple enough eh?

Word limit: 6000

 

I'll mark the matches and declare a winner if the competition isn't over after Round 2.

 

If you guys really don't want to do this, then just let me know and I'll just pick a new leader, but I think this should be a lot of fun and rather entertaining in the least.

 

Oh, and to the new member of XF9, PM me letting me know that you are ready to be announced.

 

-Low Brass

 

ugh...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

He retires, yet still conjures up one of the most beautifully absurd things I've ever seen.  When I hang up the boots, I hope I can officiate relay races too...

[Guest]

Oh! I know who the X Force 9 Member is!! It is none other than...

 

Johnny Gerenric smashes Cutthroat hard over the head with a steel chair, knocking him out cold. Then Low Brass hands him a wad of cash...

[Guest chirs3]

Good lord...

 

This should be fun to watch!

[Guest ErekT2k]

OMG, that is gonna be some funny shit to write. Haha, my brain is tingling. Btw, who *is* the new XF9 member? Is it who I think it is? Because if it is, I think he was supposed to get back to me a long time ago.

[Guest Low Brass]

You should know who it is, Erek.  I was talking to you and Ash about it, like, a month ago.  Except he said he had to do something first, then he never did it, so now I think it's time to finally announce it.  His initials are Lisa S.*  No, wait, that's too obvious.  How about... L. Simpson.*

 

Well, I can see that you're in, Erek.  Now I must just wait for Ash's word, then you two can get started on round one, ROCK, PAPER, and SCISSORS!!!!

 

-Low Brass

 

ugh...

 

*insert ACTUAL initials here.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

You fucking anal-cunt slut! Blarg is my word! Blargg is your word! Die!

[Guest Low Brass]

How about not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blarg, you Anchovy's cunt.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

I'm all for it.

[Guest Low Brass]

Alright.  Ash is in.

 

Erek and Ash, write round 1, the Rock, Paper, Scissors competition and send it in to me as soon as you can.  Try not to take too long, but don't let it mess up the writing of your actual matches.  This is gonna be great.

[Guest Thoth]

Completely random stuff like this is what makes this fed great.  Keep it up.

 

Here is a smiley face:

 

Here is what I dub the blowjob face: :0

[Guest Zero_Cool]

*pumps a fist on how XF9 is picking a new leader*

 

it makes me wish I had Ash and LB duke it out in a few hundred games of table hockey to decide who would be leader...

[Guest Low Brass]

Sorry Munich... you're just not as keen as me on these kinds of things.  For example, I did this, and you did not.

 

 

 

-Low Brass

 

ugh...Table Hockey woulda been fun.

[Guest Zero_Cool]

Poignant...or something...

 

anyway, the winner of that little contest coulda claimed to the table hockey MASTA!!  

 

I don't know why, but that seemed funny to me.

 

*runs away*

[Guest Low Brass]

I thought it was "MASTAH!" with an "h."

 

 

 

So, um.  Sega Genesis rules.

[Guest Low Brass]

Ash, looks like you got not match on Metal, (unless I rapidly skipped over it) giving you massive amounts of time to write for this.  No hurry though, just an opportunity.