SJL Metal - Wednesday, April 10th

April 11, 2002

[Earlier tonight]

Stryke and Karen exit their limo, arm in arm as they walk to the entrance of the backstage areas. They are immediately greeted by boos, snickers, insults, and even pointing from the crowds and the backstage crew members. Stryke ignores the lot of them but Karen has problems adjusting, tears can obviously be seen dripping down her pink cheeks. Stryke kicks open his locker room and drags Karen in, obviously not showing any remorse for his enemies as well as his companions. The cameraman follows him in, following Stryke at a bad time, though.

"(Stryke) What the hell was that?!"

"(Karen) What was what? [sobs]"

"(Stryke) The crying. What the f*ck is up with that?!"

"(Karen) I'm just not used to it. I've always been a good girl..."

"(Stryke) Like I give a f*ck! Remember that you came to me! You came and you offered help! I accepted. I don't know your true reason... All I know is that you hate Erek and that's why I hired you! Now stay good to your word and do as you are told!"

"(Karen) I don't hate him!"

"(Stryke) Oh? Then what were you saying in the ring? Was somebody else saying all that crap you said about the kid? Wait a minute....."

"(Karen) W-w-w-h-h-a-a-t-t-t-t?"

"(Stryke) Hmmm, I'm just remembering what you said to Erek. It doesn't make sense whatsoever. How can it be? There's only one possible reason.... but then that would mean...."

"(Karen) What are you talking about?"

"(Stryke) You know damn well what I'm talking about. You tell me the truth now! Erek knows you. He knows you well, doesn't he?!"

"(Karen) ...."

"(Stryke) DOESN'T HE?!"

"(Karen) YES! Does that even matter?! I'm helping you!! YOU!! Not him!! What was between me and him in the past is not happening now!"

"(Stryke) You better be damn right about that. Man, go get me a drink. I'm thirsty..."

Karen makes no attempt to exit the door, continuing to sob and stare into sadness.

"(Stryke) NOOOWWW!!!!"

Stryke's thundering voice shakes Karen up and the beauty scurries out of the room, heading to the cafeteria for errands. The camera focuses back in on Stryke.....

"(Stryke) .....She's gonna get it....."

The usual fader and we go to introductions for the show.....

BREAK THE CARD DOOOOWN!

SJL Metal

The Melon Arena in Pittsburgh, PA!

Singles Match

The Reaper vs. Tod deKindes

- Both men lost on Crimson. Now they fight. Duh.

Hardcore Match

Jack The Ripper vs. Cutthroat vs. "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson

- First fall wins. The returning cerial killer managed to get the duke over old rival, The Reaper, on Crimson. Cutthroat on the other hand, came oh so close to getting his frst win on Crimson. TNT won his first match. Now, they fight and stuff.

Find The Briefcase Match

Poisyn vs. Randy Turner

- Matt Myers is back in the JL, and, erm, he's calling himself Poisyn! We here at CC don't really have any clue as to how that's pronounced, but so it goes. His first match is against Randy Turner - but this is no ordinary match. Somewhere in the locker room/behind the scenes areas of the arena is a briefcase. Inside that briefcase is $5. These two guys will beat the crap out of either other in order to not only gain a victory, but $5 as well. To win, show the referee the case. He'll be chasing the action...

TV Title Match

T-Bone © vs. Kojack vs. Frost

- First pin wins. Frost came oh so close on Crimson, whilst Kojack was defeated by T-Bone to gain the belt last week. He gets his rematch here, along with Frost because I'm nice.

Singles Match

Mike Van Siclen vs. Mafia

- MVS gets his return European Title shot on Metal. Until then, he has to deal with the on/off Mafia. Mafia could find himself in line for a shot at the belt with a win here.

Tag Match

Tom Flesher/Z vs. Shawn Brody/?

- Poor Brody. The fool is alienating everyone he knows. If the fool can't come up with a tag partner, it's going to be a handicap match. Nasty.

MAIN EVENT

Tag Match

Stryke/Jacob Helmsley vs. Erek Taylor/Ash Ketchum

- Stryke has officially lost his mind, giving Ash a shot at the World title, that match set to happen on either Metal or Crimson. Since Jacob beat the hell out of Ash in that match, he gets to team up with Stryke against XF9. Will Stryke's plan fall into place?

April 11, 2002

***We open with the camera scanning the crowds and finally ending up on the announcers.***

Axis: All right, folks, welcome to tonight's program and we have a rockin' crowd here this evening!

King: I haven't seen this town any livelier since they installed the slots machine down the hall!!

Axis: We got plenty of action for you tonight, starting off with two men who were on the losing end last week, Edwin.

Edwin: That's right, both The Reaper and Tod deKindes lost their respective matches this past Saturday night and this time, tonight, these two men will go at it. And I gotta tell you, Tod deKindes' chances of winning aren't much higher, because his opponent, The Dark Reaper, is quite a handful.

King: Handful? He's huge!!

Axis: It's Germany meets England right here as --…

King: Germany? I thought he was Canadian.

Edwin: He is, he's just billed as from Germany.

Axis: Tod deKindes takes on --…

King: But how come he speaks perfectly fine English?

Edwin: Because he's Canadian!

Axis: Like I said, it's Tod against --…

King: He doesn't look a BIT german to me.

Axis: Will you keep quiet!! We got a show to start!!

***Cut to the ring, where ring announcer Funyon and referee Mark Hebner are standing.***

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SJL Metal!…Tonight's opening contest is a one on one bout, set for one fall…Introducing first, from London, England; weighing in at an even 318 kilos, he is The Dark - Reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaapeeeeeeeeer!!!

King: He said Kilos because he's european…

Axis: (annoyed silence)…We know, King.

Edwin: I'd say that's about 50 stones.

Axis: …Don't start.

***The lights go out, as the Smarktron starts flickering. It shows brief shots of Big Ben drenched in fog and moonlight, and then we hear giant footsteps seemingly intent on trampling London itself. As the foot steps fade out, we hear a booming voice…***

"I'm baaaaa-aaaaack…!"

***Control by Puddle Of Mudd hits the speakers, as two shots of white pyro come crashing down on the entrance way. The Reaper makes his way out, clad in his usual ring attire. He climbs up on the apron and throws his huge legs over the top rope in order to enter the ring.***

Axis: This is a *mountain* of a man, folks, and he's here to make his presence felt!

Edwin: And the fans love him as well!

King: But you gotta wonder, though. The fans like The Reaper, and they seem to like Tod deKindes as well, judging from last Saturday night. You gotta wonder who they'll be siding with for this match…

Edwin: Wow, you actually make a good poin--…

King:…Of course, knowing how brain dead moronic these pathetic fans can be, they'll cheer for one guy and then two minutes later they'll cheer for the other!!

***As the PoM song ends, Funyon goes back to center ring and introduces the next participant.***

Funyon: And his opponent…

"SHOOOCK!!!"

Funyon: From Muenchen, Germany, weighing in at 227 lbs; Tod - deeeeeeeeee - Kindeeeeeesss…

***Tod slowly walks out, and waits a few seconds under the Smarktron, looking up at the rafters through his silver framed sun glasses, his hair streaming down his face; while bathing in strobe lights. The fans start to chant along…***

"Welcome to my world

Head first to the earth

With my sights on the goddamned kill switch!"

***Tod starts walking to the ring at a determined pace while throwing random looks towards the crowd. He scales to the second turnbuckles and screams to the fans. They answer back in kind.***

King: Say what you will gentlemen, but I am *not* liking this man's chances of winning this match!! I predict a Reaper victory all the way!

***The trench coat and shades are off, as Tod warms up in the ropes. Reaper is in the middle of the ring and seems to want to have words with Tod.***

Axis: What's going on here?

Edwin: It seems as if Reaper is asking Tod if he's sure he wants to proceed with this match.

King: Yes, quit! Quit right now while you still have use of your liver!!

***They stand face to face, with Tod clearly giving up a whole lot of size. Judging by body language, the announcers assume that Reaper is even ready to give a count-out win to Tod in order to avoid serious injury to anyone. Meanwhile all this time, Tod is shaking his head with a resounding 'No!' and insists to have the match started.***

Edwin: Well, you can't blame Tod for his tremendous amount of courage. In his mind, he's here to wrestle and he's ready to face anyone that's put in front of him.

King: You sure you don't mean tremendous amount of *stupidity* ?

***Seeing he won't be able to change Tod's mind, Reaper simply shrugs and gets ready for the macth. Bell rings. They circle each other for a bit and finally lock up. Tod is quickly losing that struggle however, as he's back into the corner with ease. Referee Hebner uses his five count, prompting the clean break. They circle around again and go for a second lock up. This time, Reaper simply shoves Tod away and into the corner. Circling each other again, into a third lock up. Tod tries with all his might to even push back the huge Reaper, but he instead gets sent flying over the ropes and onto the floor.***

Axis: And Tod takes a ride to the floor in the early going!!

Edwin: Huge power advantage for the Reaper!

***Tod shakes the cob webs lose and climbs back into the ring. Tod sends Reaper a 'Damn, What Can I Do To Beat This Guy?' look while Reaper replies with a 'Sorry, Hey, I *AM* Three Times Your Size After All' type of shrug. Nonetheless, Tod gets ready for yet another lock up. Reaper goes to comply, but Tod rolls under and connects with quick right hands. He runs the ropes, hits a shoulderblock, no effect. Runs the ropes again, second shoulderblock, still no effect. He tries for a third time and nails a flying dropkick that starts staggering the big man a little. Fourth try in the ropes, but this time Reaper catches Tod in a press slam, sends him WAY up and back down face first.***

Axis: That was at least nine or ten feet in the air!!

***Reaper addresses Tod again and asks him if he's still sure he wants to go on. Tod hops to his feet and offers some more punches as an answer. He tries to whip him in the ropes, but Reaper holds on and reverses the Irish whip. Tod bounces off the ropes, gets caught in a bearhug and slammed down with force to the mat. Cover.***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Thr--!…

Axis: No!! Kick out at two and a half!!

***Reaper picks up Tod and throws him to into a corner. He lays in a couple of massive chops, punctuated by the Woo's from the crowd. He scoops up Tod on his shoulder and delivers a massive running powerslam. Lax cover.***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Thre--No!!*

***Tod gets the shoulder up at the last second. Reaper drops a big fat elbow and then picks up Tod by the hair. He Irish whips him hard from corner to corner, shaking the ring at every turn. Another Irish whip to a corner. Reaper tries a running charge, but Tod moves at the last possible second, sending Reaper crashing chest first into the turnbuckle. Dropkick by Tod sends Reaper back in the corner. Tod hits a corner spear, further staggering the big man. Tod goes to the apron and nails a beauty of a springboard dropkick which fails to make the big man fall down. Standing side kick produces the same results. As does another. Same for a third one. Tod ascends to the top rope, waits for Reaper to stagger in the right position, and soars away at him with a flying clothesline. He's caught, however, and gets scooped up on his shoulder for another running powerslam. Tod slides out of *that* and clips Reaper in the left knee. Tod capitalizes and fires a couple more dropkicks to that same knee. Tod lets up on the attack for a brief while, allowing Reaper to collapse to a kneeling position.***

Edwin: He's got him down on one knee!

King: Come on Reaper! Sit on him!!

Edwin: Good strategy by Tod as he starts working on the leg. The bigger they are, the harder they fall!

King: Yeah, but you have to *make* it fall!

***Tod runs the ropes and hits Reaper in the face with a seated dropkick, which finally sends Reaper crumpling to the mat. The crowd happily cheers that little feat.***

Axis: He's got him down!!

***Tod keeps stomping and elbow dropping the knee to further wear it down. A couple of wrenches and knee bars later, Reaper gingerly gets to his feet. Tod keeps dropkicking the knee but Reaper is still getting up, though now has an affecting limp. Not one to relent, Tod gets a boost in the ropes and hits Reaper with another clip behind the knee. To the apron again and Tod connects with a springboard seated front dropkick, sending Reaper back to one knee.***

Axis: Wait a second…

Edwin: Reaper's facial mask just flew off his head!

***Tod notices the hideous scar on Reaper's face. Not only that, but he now sees another point of offense opening up. He looks over to the crowd, and thinks it up…and decides to step back, allowing referee Mark Hebner to assist Reaper and place the mask back on his face.***

Axis: Say what you will about Tod, but even *he* knows where to draw the line.

***With the mask securely back on, Tod hurries over to drop a few elbows and attempt a cover.***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Reaper muscles Tod of off him with ease. Tod stays on the offense with rapid fire right hands to Reaper's head.***

Edwin: You have to wonder how effective those punches are by Tod deKindes, what with that mask Reaper is wearing…

Axis: Yeah but notice how Tod is avoiding Reaper's face. Those punches are more veered towards the side of the head and not so much on the face. His intent is more on winning this match and NOT on injuring the Reaper.

***Tod bounces off the ropes and nails a few leg drops, across the windpipe and not the face. He attempts another cover, and Reaper kicks out with authority again. Though with difficulty, Tod picks up Reaper by the hair and backs him into a corner. He wrenches his left leg with the help of the ropes, prompting a five count from Hebner. Repeated shoulderblocks in the corner. Tod takes a few steps back to catch his breath, and comes back with a vicious running spear, driving the air out of Reaper. Reaper limps out of the corner, Tod seizes the chance, bounces off the ropes and sends Reaper back down with another dropkick to the knee. Tod yanks the downed Reaper to the center of the ring and tries to wrap his enormous legs into a figure four leglock. After a few tries, he's finally successful and the move is applied. Reaper screams in pain.***

Axis: The figure four is on! Will Reaper give it up?!

Edwin: Once Reaper loses that vertical base, he's easily prone to attacks and submission holds like that! With his weakened leg, it could now only be a matter of time until Reaper gives it up.

King: He's chopping him down to his own size and putting some pressure on him! Right now, Reaper has to be *at least* be down to 5'11"…

***Hebner asks Reaper if he submits, only to be denied every time. Reaper starts reaching behind him and tries to pull himself towards the ropes. He pulls as hard as he can…and finally makes it to the ropes. Tod makes the most of Hebner's five count and releases the hold. He hurries over and drops an elbow on Reaper to make sure he stays down. He grabs his legs, drags him over to the corner, slides outside and smashes Reaper's left knee hard against the ring post. Repeat twice. Reaper tries to slink out of the corner, but Tod intercepts him and smashes his knee again, this time against the ring apron. Tod hops on the apron and connects with a forward senton atomico ala Eddie Guerrero. Tod goes for a cover, but Mark Hebner points out Reaper's leg still under the ropes.***

King: Come on, count damn it!!!

Axis: Reaper's in the ropes, King.

King: …Oh.

***With the 700 pounder sprawled on the mat, there's not much for Tod to do except stomping and dropping elbows. He gingerly drags Reaper to center ring, gives one more elbow drop to the knee for good measure and goes up top to deliver a picture perfect Swanton bomb. Cover.***

*One!*

*Two!*

…

***Reaper kicks out in time. Several more knee drops to the leg by Tod, followed up by a single leg lock.***

Edwin: Tod is absolutely relentless on that knee!

***Tod lets go of the leg lock, and drops another elbow. Cover, but Reaper kicks out with authority again. Tod retreats to the corner to rethink his strategy while Hebner checks on Reaper.***

Axis: Mark Hebner asking the Reaper if he wants to go on. He could have a serious injury here, folks.

Edwin: He's saying no, he wants to continue!

***Reaper gingerly gets to his feet, while Tod comes at him with right hands and forearms. Kick to the gut, followed up by a huge swinging neckbreaker on Reaper. Cover.***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Kick out. Reaper slowly gets to his feet again, while Tod awaits. He bounces off the ropes and connects with a seated dropkick to the face, staggering the Reaper. Another dropkick staggers him even more. Tod bounces off the ropes again, jumps on Reaper's back and applies a Tazmission hold.***

Axis: There's the katihajime!! He's gonna try to choke him out!

King: Is it legal?!

Axis: I guess it is!!

***Reaper flails around wildly, trying to shake off Tod, but he's fading fast. Just as he's about to go off his feet, Reaper backs away into a corner, freeing himself of the hold and turning the german grappler into a pancake. Reaper tries to walk off the pain in his leg and follows it up with a belly to belly suplex. He slowly walks over the fallen Tod, and drops a leg…the bad one. He quickly realizes that, wincing in pain.***

Edwin: Not a good idea, there…

King: I knew he wasn't so smart…

***Reaper crawls over for a cover…***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Kick out by Tod. Reaper whips him to the corner and hits him with a devastating avalanche.***

Edwin: Reaper says it's over!!

***Reaper catches Tod in a double choke. In an amazing display of power, he hoists him up on his shoulders in a powerbomb position…***

Axis: He's going for his big move!! Is it The End for Tod deKindes?!

***Reaper is having trouble holding up Tod. Meanwhile, Tod is hammering away with punches to the head, trying to free himself from the hold. Reaper staggers towards the ropes. Tod uses the momentum in his favor and head scissors both of them over the top rope and crumbling to the outside.***

Axis: What agility by Tod deKindes!! Both men are out!!

***Hebner starts putting on the double count. Tod starts to get to his feet (1) while Reaper is still down, clutching his knee. Tod fires away (2) with a few weak rights. Reaper is back up (3) and leaning on the guard rail for support. (4) Tod grabs the steel rings steps and places them in front of Reaper as a pedestal of (5) some sort. Tod takes a few steps (6) back, runs at Reaper, bounces off the steps (7) and flies at him with a variation of Poetry In Motion. Reaper catches (8) him, however, in a bear hug and slams him spine first into the ring post. Reaper sees Tod leaning on that same ring post, so he slowly charges at (9) him. Tod moves at the last second, as Reaper crashes into the steel post and collapses, holding his knee as a result. Meanwhile, Tod beats the count back in (10).***

King: He stayed out too long!!

Edwin: The Reaper got counted out!

***Bell rings. 'Shock' starts up on the speakers.***

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match by way of count out…Tod - deeeeeeeeeeee - Kin - deeeeeeeeessss!!

Axis: Tod deKindes has survived possibly his most brutal encounter so far!! And he's only two matches in!!

***While Tod is on his knees, catching his breath; Mark Hebner and two EMT's go to ringside and check on Reaper. He insists that he'll be all right, but the crew tends to him anyway. As the crowd chants along to his song ("Shoooock to theeeee systeeeeem…!"), Tod starts making his way back to the locker room, not keeping his concerned look off of Reaper.***

Axis: A big win for Tod deKindes here on Metal, we'll be right back after this!

***Fade to commercials.***

Cute Little Lizard: "…You wanted *Geico*, not Gecko!…Now that's uncalled for…"

***

April 11, 2002

SJL Metal begins to start, the signature pyrotechnics lighting up, blowing fuses and exploding whenever and wherever they want! The Melon Arena is shaking hard, these Pittsburgh fans already screaming at the top of their lungs. The camera swoops in across the thousands, bringing a live picture to the millions. Axis leads the way with his fellow commentators, the JL Commissioner Edwin MacPhisto and the devious Suicide King.

"(Axis) Welcome to Metal! We're here in Pittsburgh where the fun never stops and th-"

"(King) ...the Steelers suck!"

"(Edwin) They do not! Next year is their year!! I tell you, the game was tainted!! THEY FIXED THE PATRIOTS TO WIN!!"

"(King) How can you say that?!

"(Edwin) Because I am the great Edwin MacPhisto!!"

"(King) Yeah right."

"(Axis) We're just about ready to watch the first match of the night! The Reaper takes on Todd DeKindes in a Singles Match!"

"(King) Did I mention DeKindes sounds goofy?"

"(Edwin) You say everything's goofy."

"(King) WOW! This coming from a guy who likes pandas!"

"(Edwin) THERE'S NO SHA-"

The lights in the arena suddenly dim, darkening the atmosphere and making the arena suitable for the blinding spotlights to shine down. Those spotlights move around, dancing around the arena as a missile projectile swoops down from the sky! The projectile crashes into the ramp, setting of an explosion of the wave of massive pyrotechnics lined up on the ramp! Smoke begins to fill the ramp, concealing all that lies within the curtains as "Toxicity" begins to play. Immediately, the fans rise to their feets, screaming at the top of their lungs and cheering, chanting, and cherishing his name.

"(Funyon) Heading down to the ring, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 215 pounds, he *is* the SJL WORLD CHAMPION!!!! EREK....... TAAAYYYYLLLLOOOORRR!!!!!!"

The arena shakes again, being bounced around by the continous waves of cheers being given by the fans. The girls almost faint at the sight of him, the guy who just hopped out of the smoke. Erek Taylor flashes his famous smile, the World Title strapped around his waist. Taylor moves down the ramp, every step making the girls wish they were the floor. Taylor eyes a group of girls in the front row, smiling at them and making their hearts pound a million miles a second. The Champion moves closer and winks at them, almost fainting the girls. Taylor slides into the ring and gracefully takes the microphone from Funyon. He brings the mic up to his lips but immediately pauses as chants of "Erek! Erek!" begin to make itself heard. Alas, Erek cannot wait and proceeds to speak.

"(Erek) How wonderful for me to be in Pittsburgh! [cheap pop] Definetly great. Tis is I, Erek Taylor, the man who Stryke refers to as a 'kid'. It's acceptable, of course. After all, Stryke *is* jealous. [pops] I've come to speak about a few matters, more specifically, matters concerning Stryke, my good friend Ash Ketchum, and Stryke's new manager, Karen. So I'll start with Karen first. How is it that a beautiful girl such as Karen fell into the arms of Stryke? How did Stryke ever score that lily? The Police is still investigating but I believe that Stryke has psychic powers that make all girls think he's very handsome. Yes, that's true. Stryke has psychic powers to make himself beautiful in the eyes of females everywhere but BUTT ugly to the males everywhere! [pops] So how am I going to fight such an ugly brute? How am I? That's right, I'm about to lose because I don't have enough sunglasses to block me from Stryke's face!!! I might as well lie down and let him pin me."

The crowds begin to laugh as Erek Taylor chuckles a bit.

"(Erek) Seriously now, I really do want to know how Stryke got Karen? Why did she come? But I know Stryke's yelling at some poor janitor right now so I'll get on to the next item on my list. And that is not Ash Ketchum, but rather the complaint of how the great Edwin MacPhisto is involved. So, without further adieu, I would like to request Edwin MacPhisto to come up."

All eyes in the Melon Arena turn to the announcers' table, focusing in on the MacDaddy. The SJL Commissioner rises to his feet and makes his way to the steel stairs, smiling as he enters the ring.

"(Erek) Commissioner, I've always looked up to you as my mentor, my idol, my... hero. So I ask you this, as a fan and protege, what is your relationship with Stryke?"

"(Edwin) ........"

"(Erek) Come on now, no need to hide. If it's a problem, I'm sure the 17000 fans in this arena would love to gang up on Stryke. [pops]"

"(Edwin) Erek, I'm flattered. But, I'm not at liberty to tell you what my relationship with Stryke is. All I can tell you is that you must be careful and that I now have no power in my hands."

"(Erek) What's that mean?"

"(Edwin) I cann-"

Before Edwin can finish his sentence, four blue fireworks shoot from the stage, signaling the beginning of "Break Stuff". Blue flames begin to ignite, eventually clearing and revealing the figure of Stryke in crucifix position with Karen by his side. Stryke looks up into the ring, glaring at Edwin MacPhisto as well as Erek Taylor. The Australian Devil moves down the ramp, begin greeted with chants of "Asshole! Asshole!" and other inaudible insults. Stryke slides into the ring, Karen walking up the steel stairs to join her client. Stryke snatches the mic away from Eddie Mac and brings it up to his lips.

"(Stryke) Remember our agreement Edwin. You cannot do anything unless I allow it!"

"(Erek) What the hell is thi-"

"(Stryke) I didn't ask you to talk, kid. Now shut your mouth and wait in line. I've come down here to make a few announcements. I've also come down to congradulate Ash Ketchum on cheating his way to victory...."

Boos once again pour into the arena, knowing that Ketchum won the match fair and square.

"(Stryke) Once again, Pittsburgh shows its true colors on how pathetic and immature they can be. Ash Ketchum, you're the Number One Contender. Bravo. We've seen this before. I would like to refresh your memory, Ketchum. Haven't you been in this position before? I believe you have. You were the European #1 Contender for awhile to Erek's title. And what happened? You lost. You were humiliated. You didn't have what it takes to get it done. You *still* don't have what it takes! That's why I allowed you to win the title. I know I can get the title anytime I wanted and I choose to get my shot on Crimson."

"(Axis) WHAT?! He can't do that! He has no power!"

"(King) SHHHH.... let him talk!"

"(Stryke) So Erek, on Crimson, you will face me for the title. Of course, I wouldn-"

"(Erek) Hold up. Hold up. You can't tell me when you want to fight me. You're NOT the #1 Contender."

"(Stryke) True. But the Commissioner says so....."

"(Erek) He said no such thing....."

"(Stryke) SAY THAT I WILL FIGHT EREK FOR THE TITLE ON CRIMSON, MACPHISTO!"

The crowds look to Edwin MacPhisto for a retaliation but alas, there is none. Edwin MacPhisto raises his mic, lowering his head down.

"(Edwin) ....Stryke will fight Erek on Crimson for the title......."

"(Stryke) THAT'S RIGHT!"

"(Erek) What the f*ck?!! What the hell is going on?! Commish, why are you listening to everything this moron's telling you?!"

"(Stryke) You have no right to call me a moron. And the Commissioner is listening to me because he respects me....."

Silence. Just Silence in the arena.

"(Axis) This can't be going on. Edwin MacPhisto is listening to every word Stryke is telling him."

"(King) What's Stryke got on Edwin?"

"(Axis) Are you suggesting that Stryke's blackmailing Edwin?"

"(King) It's a genius idea."

"(Stryke) Oh no no, it won't be a normal singles match, Taylor. I'm going to make your life a living hell. That's why I want you and me, in this ring, in a Ladder Match!!"

The crowds pop at the idea. Stryke smirks at the idea and begins to speak again but is rudely interrupted as the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping the crowd up as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance, like Christian’s entrance. But then, as the first words begin, the pyro in front of the entrance stops, a spotlight shining onto the stage, shining off Ash, who is in a Jericho-like pose. Misty is on his left side, her arms on her hips smiling as Ash spins around from his Jericho pose and walks halfway down the ramp. Stopping his walking, Ash brings his right arm up straight in the air quickly and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right hand. At this point, five red pyro blasts shoot up from the stage in unison, right where the original pyro was. Ash and Misty release themselves from their poses and go down to ringside, Ash slapping hands with the fans and getting pumped up as a video of clips from his best IGNWF, JL, and ML matches plays on the Smarkstron!! The fans erupt once more, watching as Ash and Misty walk down the ramp side by side before entering the ring.

"(Stryke) Great, another freak..... What the hell are you doing here?!"

Ash moves to his fellow XF9er, Erek Taylor, and takes the microphone, bringing it up to his lips before beginning.

"(Ash) I'm glad that you're setting yourself up to get beaten. But you're forgetting something, I am the Number One Contender."

"(Stryke) So?"

"(Ash) As the Number One Contender, I am entitled to decide when my title match should be. You've got the Poke Balls to come down here and force Eddie Mac to make you a contender. So, I have decided that I, Ash Ketchum, will *ALSO* enter the World Title Race and book myself in the Ladder Match! [crowds pop] That's right! It's going to be Stryke versus Erek Taylor versus... ASH KETCHUM!!!"

"(Stryke) You think I'm scared Ketchum? I can take down two of you and make it look easy. So don't flatter me with these easy matches. On Crimson, I *will* walk out the SJL Champion and that is a damn promise!"

Once more, Stryke is interrupted. This time, it's loud static.

"(Stryke) What the hell?! FIX THE DAMN MIC!! I don't deserve that!!"

But it's not the mic that's making the static. The crowds rise to their feets, "Zero" now beginning to play.

"(Axis) Now what the hell is Xero doing here?!"

Xero steps out to a tremendous cheer, stepping out to midramp as a plethora of fireworks explodes behind him. Xero has a mic in hand, raising it to his lips and beginning.....

"(Xero) As much as I want to see you three tear each other apart, I think that my announcements are more important. I have been in this league for a long time and I am shocked to say that I have not been praised as I should be. So I-"

"(Stryke) Cut to the chase, jackass!"

"(Xero) Such rudeness. As I was saying, since you three think so highly of yourselves, I hereby challenge the winner of your match to a normal Singles Match on Metal. Do you accept, or are you all cowards?"

The three inside the ring exchange nervous glances, wondering what Xero is up to. Erek makes no attempt to speak, letting Stryke do all the talking because that's all he's good at, right? Instead, Ash is the first to accept.

"(Ash) I accept."

"(Erek) Here here."

"(Stryke) I accept as well. However, I do believe that you are not good to your word, Xero. You are not the same Xero who dominated the league so long ago. You are old, weak, and you are not invincible. You live in a fantasy world where you portray yourself as a God. I want to destroy that world. I want to humiliate you. So.... I'm adding some strings. If I come out of Crimson victorious, I will accept your challenge and I will beat you. You will lose and you will dance in this ring. Not only that, but you will dance while you repeat the words 'I'm not worthy'.... that is, if you're man enough....."

"(Xero) May I remind you that if I actually tried, I would have your head in a minute. Because this is *my* league. And because this is *my* league, I choose to try and not to try. So I accept your damn stipulations. BUT! If you're putting that stipulation on the line, I'm putting the World Title on the line. It's gone long enough my waist has had no gold around it."

"(Erek) WHOA WHOA WHOA!! You people seem to forget who's the Champ and who's the Chump. Stryke is, of course, the biggest Chump I've ever seen in my life and I am the Champion. You can't come down here and start making cha-"

"(Xero) Scared, Erek? Are you scared? Of course you are. I saw what you were doing in the ring. Your eyes were laid on that fair maiden."

Xero points to Karen and immediately, the High Flying Prince explodes.

"(Erek) You think I'm scared?!?! You may have set a stipulation up but as the Champion, I refuse to put the title on the line against you!!"

"(Stryke) Of course, by Crimson, you won't even be the Champion...."

"(Erek) Did I forget to tell you that you're a jackass? No? Then shut up. Xero, I'm not scared. In fact, I'll agree to your stipulations but I will be using Stryke's stipulation as well! You will dance, but not only that, you will wear a dress! TAKE THAT!!"

"(Ash) HELLO?! Am I invisible? What if *I* come out as the Champion? Huh? Did you ever talk to me?"

"(Xero) Ash, the stipulations are different. You have a pregnant wife so I will gamble with her life. The title shot is on the line if you win....or else, your wife gets it."

The crowds responds with a high shock as Ash Ketchum glares at Xero. Ketchum looks to Misty and then back to Xero, who smiles because he knows he's in a win win situation.

"(Ash) Fine. I'll agree to the bullsh*t stips."

"(Xero) Very well..... I will not disappoint. For this is my league..... and let me be the first to welcome you to the XL......."

"Zero" begins to play once more as Xero turns around and heads up the ramp. Immediately, Ash Ketchum rolls out of the ring and races up in pursuit before flinging a hard forearm across the backside of Xero's head. Xero collapses to the ground, ramming his face into the cold steel as Ketchum lays down a barrage of hard boots to the veteran JLer. Inside the ring, Stryke encourages the fight, hopping on the ropes but Erek Taylor leaps into the air, performing a dropkick that stumbles Stryke out to the mat below!! The crowds rejoice as Taylor rises to his feet, his eyes now locked with Karen's.

"(Axis) Xero has cashed in a title shot against the Champion!! But who will the Champion be?!?! A 3 way Ladder Match will decide this!!"

Karen and Erek remain motionless until Stryke rises to his feet and yells for Karen. The beauty instantly obeys, sliding out of the ring and running to the aide of Stryke. Taylor remains in the ring, glaring at Stryke.....

The usual fade.......

April 11, 2002

EDITED PROMO!

(The camera fades in to a T.V. monitor showing the closing seconds of the TNT/Tod match. TNT gets the one, two, three, with the Tiger Driver. The screen pauses, and the camera spins around to the viewers. Deathwish and TNT are in the lockeroom sitting on a bench. Deathwish still holding the remote, gets up and lectures TNT. The camera follows him.)

Now that is exactly why I agreeded to be your mentor TNT. You destroyed that lazy, unskilled, no talent. He wasn't prepared for a match, the only thing he was prepared for was some over thought out bilingual promo. It was a perfect example of the wrestler's superiority over the "sports entertainer". However, your performance was far from perfect. This being my biggest complaint.

(Deathwish hits play on the remote and the camera spins back to T.V. monitor. TNT and Tod shake each others hands as the crowd cheers. The image pauses and the camera spins back to Deathwish. Deathwish speaks in a much more angrier tone.)

What the Hell was that? What the Hell was that? What makes you think he earned your respect? NO! What makes you think, he earned MY respect? Hes a lazy, unskilled, sorry excuse for an athlete who jumped to the big leagues just because he can cut a good promo. Meanwhile, I had to work my ass off and nearly kill myself in the ring to make it where Iam at today. Tod De what ever the Hell his name is, represents everything that is wrong with American wrestling.

(The camera quickly cuts to TNT, he obviously doesn't like what he is hearing. The camera than cuts back to Deathwish.)

Oh Sure the fans loved your mutual show of respect. But what the hell do they know. Don't you ever go out of your way to entertain them or make them happy. Fans don't win you matches. Besides I've been all around the world, and the fans in America are by far the dumbest. They would rather see flippy flop crap, and people getting hit with fake trash can lids than actual wrestling.

Now you go out there tonight, and kick some ass. And I don't want to see anymore of that handshaking crap. Just do what I tell you, and you'll go far in this sport.

(TNT raises up from the bench and stares down at Deathwish. He looks like he's struggling to hold back alot of rage. He speaks in a low voice.)

Watch Me Explode.

(TNT than walks out of the dresser room, for his match. The camera fades out.)

----

“Axis: Hello everyone we are coming to you live for April tenth’s edition of Metal here in the Melon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! We’ve already seen an action packed matchup tonight between Tod deKindes and the Reaper! But up next is what is sure to be even more exciting, a hardcore three way between SJL wrestlers Cutthroat, Jack the Ripper, and “TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson!”

“Edwin: Holy whippersnappers! I’m ecstatic!”

“King: You’re a dumbass.”

“Edwin: No I’m not, am I Jed?”

“King: Who the hell is Jed?”

“Edwin: He’s my new imaginary friend.

“Axis (concerned): Um, right, Edwin, have you had too many Flinstone vitamins again?”

“Edwin: Um.”

“Axis: Um? I don’t like the sound of that. Oh well, not even Edwin’s insanity can take away from the next match!”

“King: Axis, why don’t you tell this former SWF champion how this match came about.”

“Axis: Well, a few nights ago on Crimson, Jack the Ripper made his return and defeated long time nemesis, the Reaper. Meanwhile, TNT had his debut television match and won it against Tod deKindes. Throw proclaimed SJL job boy Cutthroat in the mix for one hell of a match!”

“Edwin: Jed says that TNT is going to win.”

“King: Yeah well Jed’s imaginary! Surely Jack the Ripper is going to win it! I mean, just look at how freakishly he tore Reaper apart in the ring last Saturday, he’s a savage! (nostalgically) You know, when I was SWF champion, they called me, the “Savage Beast.”

“Axis: Really?”

“King: No, but they should have.”

“Edwin: King, I can actually feel myself becoming dumber every night I have to commentate with you.”

“Axis: Ugh. The bickering will never end. Let’s just go down to Funyon.”

“Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen! This contest is a hardcore match and is scheduled for one fall! Entering the ring area, hailing from Anaheim, California, 267 pounds of pure, uninhibited madness! “TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson!”

The crowd erupts in cheers (and some boos) as AC/DC’s “TNT” blares from the speakers. As the introduction of the song begins, TNT very slowly saunters down the ramp with a noticeable lack of pyro. Just as the song’s course ends and “Watch me explooooooooddddeee!!!!!” is heard by the audience, what seems like hundreds of white and silver pyro are triggered consecutively as Taylor becomes livelier and seemingly walks to the beat of the music. Taylor moves quickly as he poses on each ring post. As his entrance comes to an end, TNT paces back and forth awaiting his opponents.

“Axis: TNT looks dynamite for tonight’s match!”

“King: Maybe, but I don’t think he’s hardcore enough to compete with hardcore legends, like Cutthroat, Jack the Ripper, or me for that matter.”

“Edwin: Jed begs to differ.”

“King: Who cares what Jed thinks!”

“Edwin: You hurt Jed’s feelings.”

“King: You’re a simpleton.”

“Edwin: Oh yeah, well, you are rubber I am glue. Um, wait, is that right? Whatever you say uh, sticks to me. Wait, that’s not how it goes. But, I’m a really cheap brand of glue so your insult falls off, and the reverberation is so light against your rubber that it stays there.”

“King (to Axis): Do have any idea what this nincompoop is blabbering about.”

“Axis: No clue, but we don’t have time to find out, because here comes Cutthroat!”

“Funyon: Entering the ring now, born in Greenwich, Connecticut, weighing in at 244 pounds, Cutthroat!”

There is an instantaneous blackout with an electrical sound and a pause. Then, a huge explosion fills the stage with an enchanting light as the light returns to the stage and ring as Cutthroat pulls away the curtain and comes out to Limb Bizkit's "My Way.” Cutthroat flips into the ring, jumps up onto the second rope, and throws his arms up into the air. He tosses his orange unbuttoned shirt with a dragon design onto the turnbuckle and throws his sleek sunglasses out into the crowd.

“King: Some lucky fan is going to go home with the wrestling legend Cutthroat’s glasses.”

“Axis: Wrestling legend? King he hasn’t even won one televised match yet.”

“King: He’s been screwed and you know it Axis. I mean, the crowd loves this guy, listen.”

The crowd boos Cutthroat wildly as he wanders into the ring.

“Edwin: Yep, the fans love him alright, love to hate him that is.”

“King: Well at least he’s got good entrance music.”

“Axis: Well, the truth be told, whether you like Cutthroat or not, which I don’t, you have to admit he is quite the athlete, and popular with the ladies for that matter.”

“Edwin: Jed says he sucks!”

“King: Jed sucks!”

“Edwin: Fair enough.”

“Axis: TNT has been training hard for this match, honing his body to take all the punishment the other two can dish out. Also, Taylor has recently formed a mutual bond with “Deathwish” Danny Williams, much to the dismay of his fans. Danny evidently approached TNT after Crimson on Saturday and has helped him train since then.”

“King: Yeah, well I don’t think Williams’ training is going to help for this match, I mean Deathwish is a technical mat wrestler and this is a hardcore match, do you see where I’m going with this?”

“Edwin: A story about when you were champion?”

“King: Yes.”

Meanwhile, while the commentators quarrel at ringside, Cutthroat slowly approaches TNT, staring him down. It appears as though they are about to go at it, but are interrupted by Funyon’s booming voice.

“Funyon: Ahem. Coming down to the ring now, a man who needs no introduction, but I’ll give him one anyway, weighing a petite 178 pounds, hailing from London, England, (gulp) Jack the Ripper!

The lights go out and the eerie tune of Marilyn Manson's “Redeemer” starts blasting from the PA system before Jack makes his way down to the ring. He flips off the crowd causing a negative reaction. Signs like “Jack Ripped One” dot the audience. Sick and twisted images such as castles, cemeteries, and Edwin’s house flash across the titanitron. Each picture haunts the screen and creates the perfect background for Jack. Jack lingers about the ring, circling it like a mammoth circling a jellybean jar. He menacingly spits on Edwin at the announcer’s table.

“King: Jack definitely has the match in the bag now, spitting on Edwin is good luck.”

Suddenly many fans behind the commentators begin to spit on Edwin for good luck.

“Edwin: Now look what you’ve done.”

“King: I know, I’m a saint.”

“Edwin: Ha ha! Jed just spit on you!”

“King: He’s imaginary.”

“Edwin: Oh yeah, damn.

“Axis: Can we please just start the match?”

***DING DING DING***

Cutthroat and Jack the Ripper size each other up for a few secants and almost immediately begin to unleash flurries of punches on one another. TNT soon makes this one on one encounter into a triangle travesty however as he launches himself off of the ring ropes, extends both of his arms, and plants both of his opponents into the mat with a double clothesline. Cutthroat however delivers a drop toehold to TNT, with Taylor’s head landing right in Jack’s family jewels. Cutthroat hops to his feet like a banshee on crack and stomps away on both men. He smiles to the crowd as they drown him in an ocean of boos. Cutthroat, now with the upper hand, slides outside of the ring, evidently weapon hunting. Edwin offers him Jed’s imaginary baseball bat, but Cutthroat shoots down the offer.

“King: Evidently Cutthroat, professional genius is searching for a weapon of his liking.”

“Axis: At any rate, he better find it soon because the two inside the ring are beginning to stir.”

“King: I’m sure he’ll make a good choice.”

Cutthroat grabs a dandelion from an adoring fan, and heads to the ring.

“King: Uh, well, I was thinking a chair or a ring bell, but I’m sure Cutthroat will find a way to use that dandelion to his advantage.”

Meanwhile TNT and Jack awaken in the ring, starting to throw punches at eachother. Jack low blows TNT and DDT’s the testicularly pained Taylor.

“Axis: Ripper with a blatant low blow, why didn’t the ref call that?”

“King: It’s no DQ you moron!”

Jack the Ripper lifts TNT up off the ground, and puts him back down with a spear! He observes his opponent holding his torso, and continually knees him on the back, further injuring his mid section. Cutthroat, in the ring now, blows the dandelion into Jacks’ face; the petals temporarily blind him, giving Cutthroat time to hop onto a nearby turnbuckle and nails Jack in the face with a flying dropkick! TNT, now undazed but still holding his side, lunges at Reaper, Cactus clotheslining him to the outside. Just as both get to there feet, they are met by Cutthroat’s soaring body as he comes flying over the top rope with his body outstretched! Cutthroat kicks TNT in the chest over and over while Jack slips away undetected. Just as Cutthroat turns around to deal with Jack, he is clocked in the head with a chair!

“Edwin: Ouch! Jack is the first wrestler to bring a hardcore item into this hardcore match!”

Cutthroat, now bloodied and bruised, barely manages to rise to his feet. He doesn’t stay up for long however because he is quickly taken down by Jack with a hurricanrana onto the chair! TNT stands up and launches himself at Jack, delivering a knee lift…into the chair.

“Axis: Oh no! TNT just further injured himself by knee lifting Jack the Ripper’s chair!”

“Edwin: I know Jed, that was amazing.”

Realizing he is outmatched without a weapon, TNT begins limping towards the announce table, holding his ribs in anguish. He leans against the announce table, trying to recover. Meanwhile, Cutthroat, soaked in blood, pulls two tables out from underneath the ring, and sets one up. Jack swings at the out of breath TNT, but Thompson dodges and Jack swings the chair barely missing Eddie Mac’s head! Edwin looks to his side, and then starts sobbing.

“King: Oh stop blubbering! He missed!”

“Edwin: He missed me, but he hit Jed! He’s dead!”

“King: He was imaginary.”

“Edwin: Jed and I have been friends for such a long time, we were like Sunny and Cher.”

“King: You made him up ten minutes ago.”

“Edwin: We were like Jay and Silent Bob.”

“Axis: Oh why don’t you just make up a new imaginary friend?

“Edwin: We were like Ringo and the rest of the Beatles.”

“King: I, former SWF champion, wouldn’t react like this, I’d suck it in, I’d…”

Edwin, with a swift motion, hits King with a short clothesline, knocking him off of his feet.

“Axis: I have to admit I am thankful.”

Back in the ring now, Jack the Ripper swings with the chair once more, only to hit the ring ropes and have the chair reverberate back into his face! Taylor picks him up, puts him in a fireman carry, and slowly ascends the top rope with Jack still on his shoulders. Suddenly, at the top rope, TNT falls backwards, letting go of Jacks head and letting it swing out of his grasps only to be pancaked into the mat.

“Axis: Mother of mercy! TNT just hit a top rope fireman carry to a face buster! He makes the cover!”

“Ref: One! Two!”

Cutthroat leaps into the ring and hits a dropkick on TNT, breaking up the count!

“King (recovering): Whe…where am I?”

Cutthroat grabs Taylor by his hair and savagely hurls him across the ring, then nails him in the head with a ring bell he found at ringside, TNT falls against the ropes, unconscious put still being held up by the ropes.

“Axis: How on Earth is he still standing?”

“Edwin: Um, the ropes are holding him up, duh.”

TNT’s standing days soon end however as he is powered to the floor with a killer spinebuster. Cutthroat makes the cover.

“Ref: One! Two! Thr…”

TNT manages to elevate his shoulder mere inches off of the ground, barely kicking out. Cutthroat looks both surprised and enraged at the same time, but doesn’t look too worried, simply screaming “IT’S OVER!” at the booing crowd while lifting Taylor to his blood covered feet. TNT, a helpless, limp and brutalized opponent simply stands there with glassy eyes, not ready to reverse anything. Cutthroat does a backflip, waves to his fans (two braces clad teenagers in the nosebleeds) and jumps up on TNT, hitting a vicious hurricanrana. Just as he drops to his knees to hook the leg, the now recovered Jack the Ripper comes out of nowhere and superkicks Cutthroat to outside of the ropes. Cutthroat manages to grasp the ropes just in time, still hanging on to the ring apron. As he rises, Jack smiles a crazed smile and forebodingly motions for his fallen nemesis to stand.

“Axis: What could possibly happen next King?”

“King: They could start passing out free slurpees?”

“Axis: No, I mean in the match.”

“King (still dazed): There’s a match?”

Cutthroat stands on his feet, a little bit stunned. Immediately, Jack the Ripper lets out a wail, jumps over the ropes, gets Cutthroat in the stunner position, and executes the Ripping to the outside and through the table that Cutthroat had set up earlier! The fans scream in shock and start a flourishing “Holy sh*t!” chant.

“Axis: GOOD GOD! Did you see that!? A modified Ripping outside of the ring through a table!”

“King (back to his old self): Eh, this one time SWF champ could kick out of that no prob.”

“Edwin: Oh really, we’ll have to try that some time.”

“King: Oh no you don’t need to I have it on video tape. Now, I was a little heavier back then and wrestled under the name Cactus Jack, but if you tilt your head and squint your eyes you can see it’s me.”

“Axis: That is the biggest load of cow dung I’ve ever heard.”

Reaper drags Cutthroat out of the heap of dismantled lumber and covers outside of the ring…just as TNT climbs the inside Turnbuckle.

“Ref: One!”

Taylor shouts “KABOOM!” to the adoring crowd.

“Ref: Two!”

TNT leaps off of the turnbuckle in a swan dive Headbutt position.

“Ref: Th…”

Thompson soars through the air like a pelican swooping down on its prey.

“Ref: reeee…”

TNT lands just in time smashing his head into Jack’s arched back! The remainder of Taylor’s body slaps against the mat outside as he holds his stomach and pelvis areas in pain.

“Axis: The action here is heating up like a powder cake!”

“Edwin: Mmmmm…powder cake.”

All three opponents lay unconscious in a pile of wood shards from the broken table, busted wide open with “juice” running down their faces. Oddly enough, it’s Ripper who rises the quickest, but just as he does he notices Cutthroat showing signs of movement also. Jack runs up onto the apron and hits an Asai moonsault off of the ropes, aimed right for Cutthroat! Cutthroat accidentally stumbles out of the way right before impact leaving Ripper to smash onto the hard cement floor just beyond the protective mats.

“Edwin: By golly!”

“King: I’ve seen better.”

“Edwin: King you are a five letter word that rhymes with “boron.”

King strains his mind, desperately pondering what the word is. Cutthroat crawls into the ring, picks up a chair, and awaits the first challenger. TNT incoherently staggers outside of the ring temporarily, collects himself, and slides under the ropes. Just as he does he is blasted in the ribs with the chair and then Slice Kicked into the corner.

“Axis: TNT was just wailed on with that patented spinning heel kick of Cutthroat’s! What act of bigotry will the charismatic job boy perform next?”

“King: As long as it involves a hot tub and Stacy Kiebler I really don’t care!”

“Edwin: God bless Stacy Kiebler.”

Meanwhile, where the action is, Cutthroat beats on TNT with head butts, shoulder thrusts, and random flips that make everything look better. TNT, now dazed and confused, is taken to the top rope for a superplex! With each step higher the intensity and heat of the crowd grows and grows. A “T-N-T” chant begins, and is louder than ever when the two reach the top rope.

“Edwin: This is horrible! I can’t watch!”

“King: Really?”

“Edwin: No.”

Right at the top rope, just as Cutthroat hooks Taylor’s head, Taylor elbows him in the stomach multiple times and twirls him upside down!

“Axis: Good God! Could it be?”

TNT spikes Cutthroat’s cranium into the ring with a super tombstone piledriver! The crowd goes berserk reacting to the move!

“Axis: It is!”

“King: OH MY GOD! Ahem. I mean, I once took a tombstone off of a fifty foot high balcony and came back to retain my title.”

“Edwin: Whatever you kicked out of in your fantasy land, I don’t think that will happen tonight! Thompson makes the cover and wins!”

“Ref: One! Two! Thr…”

“Axis: Say what!!! Jack the Ripper comes out of the blue and drops a knee on TNT breaking up the pin!”

Jack quickly grabs Taylor and irish whips him into the turnbuckle, TNT flips when there, putting HIMSELF in the tree of who position HBK style. Jack hunches over to Thompson and chokes him with his foot; he walks around the ring taunting the fans as he is bombarded with a flurry of boos. Ripper retrieves a chair, and simply BLASTS Taylor with it a lucky seven times, each earth shattering shot more earth shatteringly earth shattering than the previous earth shattering shot. Jack then sets up a table in the same corner that TNT is hanging in! Jack stands Cutthroat up, but is quickly kneed in the pelvis a few times. Cutthroat dropkicks Jack, and Jack slowly falls against the leaning table. Cutthroat backs up, and signals for a spear through the table!

“Axis: My God! He’s going for his patented Slasher!”

“Edwin: This will surely end the match!”

Cutthroat strides the length of the ring and into the table, but Jack moves out of the way! Taking all of the force on his shoulder, Cutthroat shatters the table and goes through it…right into a stunned Taylor who is still in the tree of woe position! Jack rolls up Cutthroat and puts his two feet on the top rope for additional leverage. Jack holds Cutthroat down to the mat for a full five seconds, but the referee is busy observing TNT’s condition. Jack, enraged at the ref, twirls him around and begins to badmouth him!

“King: You saw it as clearly as I did! Jack just got the three count on Cutthroat!”

“Edwin: He had his feet on the ropes King.”

“King: Since when are there rules in hardcore matches?”

“Edwin: Oh yeah.”

Jack, still screaming at the ref in a state of pure rage, shoves the official into Thompson, who falls out of the tree of woe after collecting a foot choke, seven chair shots, and a slasher spear. Meanwhile, Cutthroat manages to regroup and stands up, delivering a shot with the ring bell to the back of Ripper’s head! Jack falls to the mat, out cold. TNT limps over to Cutthroat and attempts Dynamite! Taylor’s version of the Tiger Driver ’92 fails however for his legs and mid section give out preventing him to lift the powerless pretty boy. Cutthroat, who’s normally radiant hair is now matted down and soaked red from the blood he has lost throughout the match, stumbles around the ring, which has crimson splotches in various places indicating the blood letting each combatant has taken. Cutthroat and Taylor, legally dead, through weak and meaningless punches at eachother. Cutthroat gains the upper hand however when he grabs Taylor’s legs and begins to turn him over for the Razor Blade, a modified boston crab.

“Edwin: Thompson has had the hoopla beaten out of him throughout this hardcore match, noticeably in his midsection and legs! TNT will have to tap or risk permanent injury!”

Just as Taylor raises his arm to give up, Jack the ripper comes from behind and bulldogs Cutthroat!

“King: Holy Spaceman Spiff! Jack the Ripper just broke up the move that was sure to end the match and lead to Cutthroat’s first (and well deserved) win!”

Ripper stands up and delivers a pedigree to Cutthroat to further harm him. Ripper signals for the end of the match as he ascends a turnbuckle!

“Axis: What high flying move in Jack’s arsenal will he pull off now?”

Jack soars through the air executing a shooting star press to a collection of “ooh’s” and aah’s” and “you suck’s!” Just as he lands, TNT materializes out of nowhere with the ring bell in his hand. A sickening thud is heard as Jack’s head is cracked on the metal ring bell. Taylor covers, forgetting to hook the leg.

“Ref: One! Two! Thr…”

“Axis: How on God’s green Earth did little Rippy kick out of that, he’s one tough brute.”

“King: Give me five minutes with him and a I’ll have him crying like a mama’s boy.”

“Edwin: Shut your pie hole you washed up has-been.”

“Axis: Uh oh, look out behind you Taylor!”

“King: He can’t here you, you idiot.”

Cutthroat emerges behind TNT with the steel chair, patiently awaiting him to turn around.

“Axis: What act of shivery does Cutthroat have in mind for the dynamite wrestler named TNT?”

“King: Duh, he’s gonna hit ‘em in the head with a chair, I don’t need a crystal ball to figure that one out.”

“Edwin: Then how exactly do you explain THIS!”

Edwin pulls a crystal ball out from underneath the announcer’s table, labeled “Property of Suicide King, Former SJL Champion.”

“King: Uuuuuuhhhh…”

Meanwhile all three men stand in the ring, Jack a little dazed and Cutthroat stalking TNT ready to pounce. TNT turns around, and ducks the swung chair! Cutthroat nails Jack on accident and stares in shock at the staggered Jack the Ripper. Suddenly, from behind TNT taps on Cutthroat’s shoulder. Cutthroat turns around, and is kicked in the stomach by Taylor! TNT hooks his arms and brings Cutthroat up in the powerbomb position.

“Axis: Dynamite! Dynamite!”

“Edwin: Wait, look! Cutthroat has grabbed TNT’s head and is spring boarding off of the ropes for his finisher, The Final Cutter!”

Just as Cutthroat is landing, he comes to a halt in mid air, being held up by the monster TNT. With one last surge of energy, TNT eases Cutthroat into the powerbomb position and spikes him into the mat!

“Axis: It’s over! Taylor just hit his version of the Tiger Driver ’92 which he calls Dynamite!”

“Ref: One! Two! Three!”

The bell ringer drags the now blood smeared ring bell off of the mat and rings it.

***DING DING DING***

That oh-so relaxing AC/DC tune is heard over the loud speakers signaling TNT’s victory as both of his opponents struggle to make it to their feet.

“Axis: TNT once again makes his mark here in the SJL and proves himself to be an unstoppable force!”

“Edwin: Jed was right all along, *sniff* poor Jed!”

TNT helps the fallen Cutthroat up to his feet and offers a handshake.

“King: Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Cutthroat reluctantly accepts, and the two shake each other’s hands in a symbol of respect. Soon Jack also joins in (though very reluctantly) on the little admiration fest and shakes hands with both competitors. Suddenly, “Deathwish” Danny Williams storms the ring, grabs a chair, and clocks both Cutthroat and Jack the Ripper over their heads. He yells at TNT and grabs his arm, taking him to the back.

“Axis: I believe there will be an icebox full of tension between that mentor/student team as Deathwish has made it clear that he doesn’t want TNT involved in all this respect mumbo jumbo.”

“Edwin: Wow, what a match! We’ll be back with even more Metal after this commercial break! Snoochie boochies!”

April 11, 2002

A commercial for ‘El Luchador Magnicifo’s Mexican Eatery and Dance Floor’ comes to a close, as the SJL logo flashes across the screen to see thousands of screaming, moshing, jumping fans ready for more of the chair-hitting, pile-driving moments of SJL Metal! The camera zooms to the announce team of Commissioner Edwin, The Suicide King, and Axis, all ready to call Metal.

“Good evening ladies, gentlemen and…others…and welcome back to SJL METAL! WOO! I’m along side our Australian play-by-play man, Axis, and the ever-so-mean Suicide King!” Commissioner Edwin remarks. Suicide King simply turns to Edwin and flips him off.

“See what I mean folks?” Edwin remarks again.

“Oh, shut the hell up, Edwin,” SC remarks, “The next match has been highly anticipated by these worthless fans, and it looks like it’s here! It’s going to be Randy Turner, who came out of a huge win over Cutthroat, going against Matt Myers, now known as Posiyn, in a…find…the briefcase…match? What the fucking hell? Who books these things?!”

“He does,” Axis says, pointing to Edwin, who is playing with his Panda, who is propped up on his desk. Edwin turns to SC, who just merely rolls his eyes.

“Well, aren’t YOU mister obvious…as for you Edwin, your booking skills suck. A find the briefcase match? Bah…I bet you play with your panda in other ways too…” SC says, looking at Edwin.

“You scruffy, toilet-brained PERVERT! You can go suck my long, purple, moldy…”

Edwin is cut off by Funyon stepping into the ring. He looks over to the referee across from him, Matthew Kevil. Funyon pulls $5 out of his pocket (Better known as the Junior League funds for the next 3 years) and puts the money in the briefcase. Kevil rushes up the entrance ramp and into backstage, as one referee remains in the ring, waiting to follow the action around the arena. Funyon puts the microphone up to his mouth…

“LADIES AND GENTLMEN…” Funyon announces, “The following match is a FIND THE BRIEFCASE MATCH! The a briefcase will be hidden in the backstage area by our head referee, Matthew Kevil, which has $5 in it. The competors will have to run backstage and find the briefcase, and take the $5 contents…and now…”

The first few guitar lines of Hoobastank’s “Crawling In The Dark” blare through the arena, and the beginning of the chorus can be heard, as the arena turns a light green color. Fans rise from their seat, and come down in a chorus of boos as Posiyn steps out from under the entrance ramp, as the mysterious smoke flows out behind him. He looks out at the crowd, and brushes his long braided strawberry blond hair to his side, and hisses at the crowd, looking on at them with a sour face. He starts walking down the entrance way, his music blaring…

“I’ve been crawling in the dark…LOOKING FOR THE ANNNNSSWWEERRSSS!!!”

“IS THERE SOMETHING MORE?!”

“OF WHAT I’VE BEEN HANDED!?”

“I’ve been crawling in the dark…LOOKING FOR THE ANNNNSSWWEERRSSS!!!”

Posiyn enters the ring, as he gives Funyon the same look as he did the fans. He cimbs up to the second rope, looking out at the fans. One fan even tries to throw a empty beer can at Posiyn, but he misses, and is quickly thrown out by security.

“From New Haven, Connecituct,” Funyon starts, “Weighing in at 239 Pounds, making his SJL return, PPPOOOOIIISSSSYYYNNNN!!!”

“Anyway, as I was saying, you can suck my long, purple, moldy…LOLLYPOP!!!” Edwin says to King. Edwin whips out a long, purple, moldy lollipop from his back pocket, and licks it, “Hey! Still good!”

Suicide King just slaps his forehead and murmurs, “Good lord…I knew I should have taken that WWF Contract that McMahon offered me, but noooooo…I had to sign that other contract that made me a JL Commentator just because it was $3 more than my original pay…”

“Crawling In The Dark” comes to an end, as System of a Down's "Prison Song" blasts over the PA system, and the crowd goes ape-shit. They rise to their feet, as the pyros blast off, and after the final pyro blast, out steps Randy Turner, flexing his muscles for the adoring fans. He starts walking down the ramp way, and stops for 3 young female fans and flexes his biceps for them, as one of them seems to faint at the sight of Randy Turner.

“Oh my lord! Look at Randy Turner! He’s huge!” Axis remarks, “If I recall, he’s 6’8” and about 670 Pounds of pure, solid muscle!”

“Your right, Axis, he IS huge!” SC says, “Huge like your mum!”

“King, if I was commissioner, I would so fire you…” Axis says back, waving a threatening fist. King simply lets out a small laugh, as he sits back in his chair, as Funyon makes the announcement of the arrival of Randy Turner.

“From Fort Worth, Texas, weighing in at 268 Pounds…HE IS RANDY TUUUUUUURRRRNNNNEEEERRR!!!”

Turner slides into the ring, as he meets eyes with Posiyn. Posiyn hops down from his perch on the second rope, and goes right up to Turner, staring into his green eyes, showing no sign of fear. The bell rings and Funyon steps out of the ring, and the match begins.

::DING! DING DIIIING!::

They still stare at each other, showing no fear or respect. Randy is the first to move, as he backs away from Posiyn, and points to his face, saying, “Your first, little man!”

“Uh-oh…Randy is making a rookie mistake, letting the smaller Posiyn make the first strike!” Axis says, “It seems as if Randy is being very arrogant in his wrestling ways…”

Posiyn lets out a laugh, as his smile soon fades to a frown, as he lets loose a quick judo punch, which knocks Randy back a bit, but doesn’t take him down. He laughs a little, and then comes at Posiyn with a powerful clothesline, but misses, as Posiyn ducks under the gigantic arm of Randy and quickly knocks him on his stomach with a powerful judo kick to the kidneys! Randy falls to his stomach, as he tries to rise back up, but Posiyn bounces off the ropes and lets looses a powerful leg-drop on the neck of Randy Turner! He quickly takes Randy down to the mat, and covers him, only to find that he cannot win by pinfall, only by finding the briefcase! He quickly exits the ring, and goes under the ring, looking for items to use.

“Ahh…look at the judo-ability of Posiyn, ready to fight whenever he’s needed to, and it seems that Posiyn’s stragity will be to disable the larger Turner in the early going of this match and search for the briefcase without interference!” SC says, carefully eyeing Myers, who goes under the ring and takes out several hardcore items, which includes a few trash cans, about three trash can lids, and a long, steel chain.

“Ah, it seems that Randy will be at a disadvantage in this match, for hardcore items aren’t actually Randy’s style of wrestling, he relies of the technical ability of power moves and submission holds, but Posiyn is taking him to a whole new world of hardcore items!” Edwin adds in. Posiyn gets up, and begins to throw hardcore items into the ring, items ranging from the trash can parts to the long chain, and he once again slides back in. He sees that the larger Randy is trying to rise to his feet from the brutal kick, and Poisyn takes advantage of this by grabbing a trash can lid and quickly jumps against the ropes, and comes back at Randy with an alternative elbow/trash can lid mix! SMASH! The ‘can lid smashes against Randy’s head, as Myers falls back on to the mat.

“Well, the looks have changed, but the fighting style of Posiyn is still there,” SC says.

Poisyn stumbles to his feet to see that Randy is still trying to get up from the brutal trash can shot, but is still woozy from the horrible strike. Posiyn goes for one last attempt to keep Turner down for good, as he climbs up to the top rope and signals for a ‘Shock Spring’ Corkscrew Moonsault…

“Poisyn is going up top!” Axis remarks.

…And Poisyn leaps into the air, spinning wildly, and comes right at Turner, only to be caught in the arms of the big man, as he Randy locks his arms around the helpless Poisyn, and he is tossed like a rag doll nearly halfway across the ring and lands right on the full trash can that he just brought in! You can hear a brutal snap echo through the arena!

“My…LORD!” Edwin says, “I’ve never seen anyone manhandle Mister Poisyn like that! He was clearly just tossed across the ring!”

Posiyn grabs his aching back, as Randy picks him up and whips him into the turnbuckle. Poisyn comes back at Randy and is scooped on his back and is whirled into a death valley driver! Randy then walks to where the trash can is and picks up the long chain and holds it above his head, signaling that it is time for the chain!

“Oh, lordie…this match is going to get ugly very quickly!” Axis says.

“And just think! They haven’t even gone backstage yet!” Edwin adds.

Randy goes over Posiyn, who is on his knees now, and wraps the long chain around Posiyn’s neck, as Posiyn begins gasping for air. Once Turner is done choking, he wraps the long chain around the wrist of the man formerly known as Matt Myers, and whips him hard against the ropes and comes at him with a gigantic clothesline, sending him twirling in the air! Randy, still holding the other end of the chain, climbs out of the ring, and takes the chain and begins to tie it in a knot to one of the turnbuckles! He complety ties it, as Posiyn comes to his senses, and rushes toward him, but is quickly stopped by his leash of steel! Posiyn begins to tug on it, trying to break it, and he looks back at Randy Turner, who is rushing up the stage with the referee and into the backstage area! Myers begins to tug harder, but it is no use.

“AUGH! NO FAIR! ILLEAGAL PLAY! DISQUALIFY TURNER! DO *SOMETHING*!” screams SC, who is going berserk in his announce seat.

“King, may I suggest riddlin?” Edwin says, laughing.

“Oh, hardy har har, Edwin. I’m cracking up,” King glares at Edwin.

“No, I’m serious,” Edwin says, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a bottle of pills, “Do you need them?”

“…No…why do you…actually…just…nevermind…” King says, turning away from Edwin.

Meanwhile, in the backstage area, Turner is throwing around crates looking for the hidden briefcase.

“Man, where the fuck is it?!” Turner screams, throwing aside steel crates and looking around. As he begins to throw around the curtains, he turns around to see a TV where several wrestlers are watching, such as Ash Ketchum and Shawn Brody. Turner glances at it just quickly enough to see Posiyn break free of the steel chain from the excessive pulling, and to see him rush backstage!

“Oh, SHIT…” Randy Turner says to himself, as he rushes toward to the entrance curtains, only to be met by a spinning wheel kick through the curtains to the head by Posiyn! Posiyn looks down at the fallen Turner, and picks him up.

“Cummon, buddy…if you want to find the briefcase so badly, let’s go get it!” Poisyn says to Turner, picking him up and throwing him through a door in the hallway which leads to the parking lot-area.

“Oh…no…” Axis says, “Please don’t…go near my car.”

Posiyn is about to whip Randy on top of one of the cars, but he is met by a quick knee to the gut, and Posiyn himself is tossed on the top of several cars, sliding on top of them from the force of the throw! Randy climbs up on top of the car with Posiyn. Posiyn tries to back away from the giant, but Randy quickly grabs the leg of Posiyn and forces his head in-between his legs, as he wraps his tree trunk like arms around the stomach of Posiyn, and lifts him up into the air on his shoulders! Posiyn quickly tries to counter by falling out into a hurriance-rana, but the strength of the mighty Randy is too much, as he simply lifts him back up and slams him down on the hood of the cars, sending car alarms off through the parking lot!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Well, the sound is driving me insane, but hey, at least my car is safe!” Axis remarks, a huge smirk on his face.

“Oh, well…it’s actually not. I took a pen knife during the break and poked holes in your tires,” SC remarks.

“I hate you, King. Can’t you fire him, Edwin?” Axis says, eyeing Edwin. Edwin just shrugs.

“I would, but then it would be just me making fun of you. And we know you wouldn’t want that. Because we love you, Axis. So very much,” Edwin says.

Randy turner looks around from his high perch on the mountain of cars, and picks up Poisyn, saying to him, “Well, buddy, the briefcase ant’ here, why don’t we go find it?”

Randy hops down from the car, and picks up the fallen Posiyn, and puts him on his back and begins to carry him through the door of the arena’s parking lot! The referee looks on in awe at the strength of Randy Turner.

“How humiliating for Poisyn!” Axis remarks, “Being carried on the back of the giant Randy Turner like some kind of small child!”

Turner exits the parking lot and goes into the hallway, still carrying the nearly dead Poisyn on his back. He then goes toward another door and kicks it open, opening the door to the locker room! Wrestlers such as Xero, Frost, and Tom Flesher run out of the locker room at the sight of the two fighting men. As Turner sees that the coast is clear, he tosses Poisyn across the room from high mighty shoulders and his chin bounces off a food-filled table, carrying items ranging from coffee to doughnuts. Turner then takes the head of Poisyn and drags him across the table, knocking over items left and right!

“HEY! THAT WAS OUR POST MATCH MEAL!!!” Edwin booms, “He will pay…”

As Turner nears the end of the table, he opens the lid of the coffee container and pushes Poisyn’s face into the container, as you can hear the screams of Poisyn from the hot, burning coffee! Randy then stops his brutal assault on Poisyn and goes over to where the bags of the wrestlers are, throwing them about, looking for the briefcase.

“AUGH! Where the *hell* did that little bitch Kevil put it…” Turner says, shaking his head, pushing several bags aside, but he turns around and to his suprise, he’s hit by a missile dropkick by Posiyn from the top of the refreshments table, as Turner refuses to go down! Poisyn then decides to take the gigantic Turner by turning around, his back facing Randy, and grabbing him by the neck and reach back, and slam him down on the mat, nearly snapping his neck in a ‘Memory’! Randy goes down hard, as Posiyn rises to his feet, takes a quick look around the room, and after he’s satisfied by his search, he quickly rushes out of the room and back into the long hallway of the arena, as the referee follows.

“See that, Edwin and Axis? Posiyn is one of the most intelligent wrestlers there. He knows that when a wrestler is down and he need to get something, don’t stick around, because he’s most likely going to get right back up and find you!” SK arrogantly says, “But that stupid Randy Turner, carrying around a veteran Posiyn on his back…Posiyn is DANGEROUS! He’s snapped! You don’t carry him around like some kind of child!”

Edwin, who is sitting behind the King, cups his hand and begins to open it and close it again, as if it was talking, as he mouths, “Blah Blah Blah” to Axis, who begins to laugh. SC quickly turns around as Edwin puts his hand down and gives a smirk.

“You guys are plotting to kill me, aren’t you?” SK says, staring at both Edwin and Axis.

Meanwhile, Posiyn is about to enter the men’s room of the arena, but he hears a door open behind him, as a very angry Randy Turner storms out of the locker room, as he spots the limping and tired Posiyn, and begins to run after him. Poisyn looks around to find a way out from the rage-driven Turner, and he spots a ladder in the corner of the room next to a few tables. He begins to climb up the ladder, going futher and further, as he feels a slight tip of the ladder, as he looks down to see Randy Turner, shaking the ladder! Posiyn then holds on for dear life, hoping that he would not fall into oblivion…

…but Randy then suddenly stops.

Posiyn looks down at Randy, who still has an iron grip on the ladder, but his weight shifts to the bottom of the ladder, as he then PICKS UP THE ENTIRE LADDER WITH POISYN DANGLING ON TOP OF IT! POISYN IS SO HIGH UP HIS HEAD ALMOST HITS THE CEILING!

“OH MY GOOOODDD!!!” Axis booms, “LOOK AT THE STRENGTH OF RANDY TURNER!”

Turner, still having an iron grip on the ladder, pushes the ladder almost above his head and tosses it aside, sending Poisyn flying downward and through some tables where the ladder was! The ladder ends up snapping in two when it hits the floor, as Randy turner drops to one knee to catch him breath.

“My god, look at the strength of that man!” SC cries, “I don’t believe what I just saw! Turner just picked up a 24 foot plus ladder with the near 240 pound Posiyn on top of it and just nearly threw it aside! I must say, I give mad props to Randy Turner, who is probably one of the strongest men on this roster!”

Turner gets up, and turns his head to take a look at the wreckage he’s made, as he lets out a weak laugh. The referee quickly rushes over to Poisyn, but Turner just taps him on the shoulder, and points in another direction, as it leaves the referee no choice but to follow Randy Turner. They begin to sprint down another hallway, as he opens a door, which is revealed to be a kitchen, as chefs stop the cooking and stare at the 6’8 man in wrestling tights who has just walked into their kitchen.

“What are YOU lookin’ at?” Randy says, staring down the chefs. They all go back to their chopping and boiling, as Randy goes around, throwing pots and pans aside and opening cabinets and so on. The referee quickly follows Turner in his search.

“We have a kitchen in this arena?” SC says, looking at Edwin and Axis.

“In fact we do!” Edwin says, “How do you think we got the hot sauce to put in your Gatorade?”

“You put hot sauce in my…Ohh…Edddwwiinn…” SC just says, stairing at the commissioner, “How I hate yoooouuu…”

As Randy finishes his search in the kitchen, he screams out loud, “DAMN!”

And quickly runs out of the kitchen, and goes past the wreckage that he made from the Poisyn/Ladder incident, and into the men’s room. Just as he enters the men’s room, he looks to his left to where the urinals are, and he spots the briefcase, which is lodged inside a urinal. He takes a deep sigh, and shakes his head.

“Only Kevil would do that…” Turner says, as he turns around, pointing to the case, but the referee seems to have gotten lost in the long hallways of the arena! He lets out a huge sigh, as he motions toward the briefcase, a stall opens up in front of him and out charges an injured Poisyn, holding his ribs. Poisyn uses his last bit of energy to blow a purple mist into the eyes of Randy Turner, a move which he calls ‘Your Poisyn’!

“POISYN! POISYN! WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!” Axis screams, “I guess he set up a trap for Randy Turner!”

Turner, nearly blinded, walks straight into a quick, swift, judo-like kick from Poisyn, which sends him straight to the cold, hard floor of the men’s bathroom. The door of the bathroom swings open, as Eddy Long walks in, who got lost in following the action. Poisyn then goes over to the briefcase, quickly opening it and taking it’s five-dollar contents. Long sees that Poisyn has the briefcase, as he walks over to the man formely known as Matt Myers and raises his hand, signaling him as the winner. The bell rings one last time, as he drops to his knees, grabbing his ribs, and stairing straight at Randy Turner. “Crawling In The Dark” begins to play over the PA System, as Funyon climbs into the ring and announces the winner.

“Your winner…” Funyon starts, “POOOOOOOIIIIISSSYYYNNNN!!!!”

“Well, Poisyn wins this match, but I’m not at all surprised! I mean…Randy Turner comes from an amateur wrestling environment, and he’s a rookie to this hardcore style matches of the SJL, and once again, experience and wisdom beats beginner’s luck and power!” SC says, “I must say…I am impressed with Poisyn, and he…hey…what’s he doing?”

Poisyn goes over to Randy Turner, who is getting up from the brutal kick, as he locks eyes with Poisyn, Poisyn looks back, showing no sign of fear or aggression, just a blank stare. His blank stare turns into a sour frown, as he says the final words before it fades into a commercial…

“You…” Poisyn starts, “Are not the one.”

The SJL logo flashes across the screen, and it fades into another commercial break…

April 11, 2002

The Metal Theme blares over the loudspeakers as Shawn Brody walks down the hall with Melissa at his side. They stop at a door with “Ced Ordonez” centered on a plaque.

“Uh oh, Edwin.” Axis looks a bit worried. “We all know the history behind Brody and Ordonez.”

“Is business about to pick up?”

“Possibly.” Axis’s voice fades out as Brody leans against the door.

Knock! Knock!

A voice on the other side shouts for them to come in. Brody opens the door and Ced jumps onto his feet ready for a fight. Brody waves Ced’s hands away and leads Melissa into the room. He shuts the door behind her, leaving the cameraman on the outside.

“I’m not sure what’s going on here but we have a three-way dance for the TV title coming up next!”

Cut to a shot of Kojack, Frost and T-Bone standing side by side as they try to look threatening.

April 11, 2002

(The camera pans across the arena for Metal, and then switches to a close-up on the commentary table.)

Axis: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Metal! I?m Axis, alongside Edwin ?Mac Daddy? MacPhisto and The Suicide King! And this next match will be either interesting or a complete ass-kicking.

Edwin: I hope it?s interesting.

King: I just hope SOMEBODY gets his ass kicked, especially T-Bone. That BASTARD!

Axis: Yes, folks. This is a triple threat match for the SJL World Television Championship. The champ, T-Bone, faces two men who are pissed and want a chance at the title. One, for starters, is the former champ, Kojack. He is really amazed that T-Bone did what he did to him last week, and he wants revenge. The third participant is the wild card. The newest star in the SJL, Frost, lost because of a technicality. Now, he wants another chance, and the Commish has granted him one, because tonight is his chance!

Edwin: Frost, do me proud.

King: Screw him! Do ME proud!

Edwin: You mean, ?DO ME FROST! DO ME HARD!?

King: I swear to God, Edwin!

Axis: Umm, LET?S GO TO FUNYON FOR THIS MATCH!

DING! DING! DING!

Funyon: LLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, this match, is a Triple Threat Match! It?s scheduled for one fall with a 4501 word limit, and is for the Smarks Junior League WORLD Television Championship! Introducing first, from Reykjavik, Iceland, weighing 296 pounds, this...issssssssssss...FROSSSSSSSSST!

(?Cities on Flame with Rock ?n Roll? by Blue Oyster Cult blares over the speakers as Frost steps out and holds a fist in the air, which brings a chorus of boos. He steps up to the apron and steps into the ring, walking to a corner.)

Funyon: His opponent, the 2nd challenger, from Miami, Florida. He weighs 240 pounds...KOOOOOOOOOOOOOJACK!

(The arena lights turn dark blue, and ?Boom? by P.O.D. blares loud amongst the fans, and they boo until Kojack comes out, when they boo even louder. Kojack struts in the ring and stares at Frost as he steps into the ring. He walks over towards Funyon, but Funyon drops down and slides out of the ring to avoid any abuse from Kojack, verbal or physical.)

Axis: Looks like Kojack is back to his old cocky self.

Funyon: Their opponent, from Sonoma, California. He weighs 275 pounds...The Smarks Junior League WORLD Television Champion...The Steak Sauce Covered Bastard...TEEEEE-BOOOONE!

(The arena goes dark and AC/DC?s ?Hell?s Bells? blares over the arena. The beating given to T-Bone is shown on the SJLTron. The screen goes dark and an eerie voice says, ?HE...has returned.? T-Bone steps out with his World TV Title belt around his waist as the crowd rises to their feet, clapping and cheering the champ on. He struts down to the ring, staring at both Frost and Kojack in the ring. T-Bone steps to the apron as he pulls out his A-1 Sauce. He takes the belt off after taking a swig and tosses the bottle to the crowd. The riff starts up and T-Bone leans back and spits the sauce into the air. Kojack rushes at T-Bone and forearms him off the apron and into the barricade.)

Axis: Kojack is wasting NO time in getting to work on the champion.

(Kojack pounds on T-Bone with two consecutive right hands. T-Bone still has his jacket on, and that doesn?t faze Kojack, who grabs T-Bone?s head and rams it into the corner post. Kojack rips T-Bone?s jacket off and proceeds to the mount. He throws ten straight right hands to T-Bone as the ref yells at Kojack to bring T-Bone in. Kojack says, ?SCREW YOU!? and throws a last right hand before bringing T-Bone to his feet.)

Edwin: What?s his problem?

King: He?s just a dick! I LOVE IT!

Edwin: That?s King. He LOVES dicks!

King: I SWEAR!

(Kojack slams T-Bone?s head into the steps and then tosses him into the ring. T-Bone gets to his feet, and Frost rushes him and flattens him with a clothesline. He picks T-Bone up and whips him into the ropes. T-Bone bounces off and Frost bends over and lifts T-Bone up and over his back with a back body drop.)

Axis: T-Bone is getting his ass kicked! This is a HUGE disadvantage for the champ, as both men would probably kill him for the title.

King: I hope they do. We need a REAL champ to hold that belt!

(Frost bounces off the near ropes and drops and elbow on T-Bone that nails the champ in the chest. Kojack gets into the ring and starts stomping on T-Bone as Frost bends over to pick T-Bone up. Frost chops T-Bone in the chest.)

WHOO!

(Kojack does the same.)

WHOO!

(T-Bone is backed up against the ropes and the heels whip T-Bone in for the double team. T-Bone bounces off as Kojack and Frost lock hands for a double-team clothesline. T-Bone ducks under both arms and bounces off the ropes. He flies in the air towards both men with his arms extended and nails Frost and Kojack with a double clothesline, knocking them to the ground.)

Axis: The champ is back in business!

Edwin: Business is about to pick up!

King: Sometimes, I really hate this business...

(Frost scrambles to his feet and rushes T-Bone with a clothesline. T-Bone ducks and goes behind. He grabs Frost around the waist and puts his head under Frost's arm. He lifts Frost up in the air and then drops him on the back of the head, as Frost rolls back on his neck and onto his stomach.)

Axis: DANGEROUS BACKDROPPAHHHHHH!

Edwin: Damn, that was a nice reversal!

(Kojack comes from behind and nails T-Bone with a forearm to the back of the head. He cracks T-Bone with a double axehandle and that knocks T-Bone into the turnbuckle. T-Bone gets whipped to the corner, but reverses it and Kojack grabs the top ropes. T-Bone rushes in and Kojack jumps up and vaults backwards over T-Bone. He turns around and points his finger to his head, telling the crowd that he?s smart, but doesn?t see that T-Bone stopped under Kojack and didn?t run into the turnbuckle.)

King: That Kojack! He?s SO smart!

Edwin: More like, not smart enough! Kojack should look behind him.

(Kojack turns around and sees T-Bone staring right at him. He turns around to run, but T-Bone grabs him by the back of his hair. He turns him around and brings him over to the turnbuckle. He turns him around and lifts him up in the air, sitting him with his back to the ring on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up to the second rope and goes back-to back with him. He reaches back and grabs the neck of Kojack, but Frost rushes over and grabs T-Bone across the waist, and hoists him over his own body, flipping him onto his back with the suplex.)

Axis: Frost hits the belly-to-belly suplex! What a counter!

King: And he just saved Kojack?s ass!

Edwin: Frost wants it. He?s really pissed now!

(Kojack gets himself off the top turnbuckle and goes over to Frost and taps him on the back, trying to congratulate him for the save. Frost retaliates by clotheslining Kojack straight to the ground.)

King: WHAT!? FROST! YOU IDIOT!

Edwin: Looks like this man is getting down to business!

(Frost looks down as T-Bone rushes from behind. He gets a forearm to the back and starts wailing on Frost with punches. He knocks Frost against the ropes. He whips Frost in, but Frost reverses. T-Bone bounces off and slides under Frost?s legs. Kojack then comes off the ropes and leaps at Frost, spinning in the air and extending his leg, catching Frost with the spinning heel kick.)

Axis: Kojack is turning into someone I wouldn?t want to mess with!

(Kojack gets up, and T-Bone comes in from behind. He grabs around Kojack?s waist, but Kojack falls forward and rolls through. He locks onto T-bone?s leg with the legvine and starts turning the ankle, snapping back onto his back for more leverage.)

Axis: It?s Torque! Kojack wants to end this now!

(The ref goes onto his stomach and asks T-Bone if he wants to give up, but Frost comes over and kicks Kojack right in the smacker. That releases the hold and T-Bone rolls over in pain. Kojack gets to his feet as Frost punches him in the back. He lifts him up and tosses him to the ropes. Kojack bounces off and Frost catches him with his arms under Kojack?s arm and around his neck. He lifts him up and over his own body and flips him onto his back.)

Axis: EXPLODAH! What a move!

Edwin: Frost is ON it tonight!

(Meanwhile, T-Bone has climbed to the top rope. Frost turns around as T-Bone flies off the top rope with a clothesline and nails Frost right under the chin.)

Axis: T-Bone flew off with that clothesline!

(T-Bone rushes over and covers Frost.)

ONE!

TWO!

(Kojack flies in to break it up with an elbow, but T-Bone moves out of the way and Kojack?s elbow hits Frost instead. Kojack gets up and holds his hands up, as if to say, ?I?m sorry,? but then he turns around and T-Bone grabs him around the neck with the goozle. He lifts him up and slams him down between T-Bone?s legs, holding the neck for a pin.)

Axis: MIRACLE ECSTASY BOMB! COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

(Kojack kicks out before the count of three, and T-Bone bounces off the ropes. He runs at Kojack who picks T-Bone up by the waist and drops him across the top ropes with the Stun Gun. T-Bone bounces off and Kojack is right there waiting for him, picking him up by his armpits, turning, and slamming him to the mat.)

Axis: The K.O.! What a move!

(Frost comes from behind and pulls Kojack up by his hair. He picks Kojack up and drapes him across his shoulders. He holds him and starts spinning around...and around...and around...and around, until he stops and tosses him off a shoulder. He wobbles around and then spins around. He jumps in the air and drops the leg. He rolls over and covers.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

Axis: Airplane Spin! Shades of Chief Jay Strongbow!

Edwin: That is a long time ago...VERY long time.

(Kojack rolls over towards the ropes as T-Bone is barely getting up. Frost gets to his feet. He picks T-Bone up for the same move, but T-Bone slides down the back and gives him a forearm in the back. He brings his neck back and grabs around it in a back chancery. He falls backwards and brings Frost?s neck with him with the reverse DDT. T-Bone covers.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

(Frost lifts up the shoulder, and T-Bone gets up. He looks around for Kojack, but it is too late, as he has gotten to the apron, jumps on the top rope, and springboards at T-Bone with a missile dropkick that hits T-Bone right in the kisser. KOJACK covers.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

Axis: That is FIVE near falls in less than about two minutes of action! These fans are LOVING THIS!

Edwin: Too bad I?m not.

King: Ahhhh...poor baby. JUST CALL THE MATCH!

(Kojack gets up and looks around for SOMEBODY to hit, and he looks to the ref...)

Axis: Uh oh, I don?t like the look of this. What is Kojack thinking?

(Kojack walks towards the ref, yelling at him because he didn?t make the three count. He grabs his shirt, but Frost comes from behind and gives Kojack a knee to the back. This pushes Kojack into the ropes and he bounces off backwards as the ref falls on his face. Kojack stumbles around and Frost is right there to give him a kick in the stomach. He puts him in the piledriver/position and hooks the arms. He locks his hands and lifts Kojack up, flipping him onto his back and driving him to the mat. He hooks the legs for a pin.)

Axis: THE EARLY WINTER! NEW CHAMP COMING UP!

Edwin: You forgot something, Axis...

(King cuts him off.)

King: THE REF IS DOWN! YOU DUMBASS! YOU CAN?T PIN HIM WITH THE REF OUT!

(Frost realizes that the ref is out and he goes over to revive him. T-Bone gets himself off the mat and walks over to Frost from behind. He wraps his arms around his waist and lifts him straight up in the air before taking his own legs out from under him and driving Frost to the mat with the suplex. He holds the bridge for the pin.)

King: Ditto for T-Bone, our GREAT CHAMPION!

Axis: HIGH ANGLE GERMAN SUPLEX! The ref is getting up! HE?S GONNA MAKE THE COUNT!

(The crowd makes the count along with the ref.)

ONE!

(The crowd gets louder...)

TWO!

(And louder...)

THREE...NOOOOOO!

(Frost gets his shoulder up and rolls over onto his stomach, as the crowd gets noisy, thinking T-Bone had it won.)

Axis: T-BONE WAS SO CLOSE!

(T-Bone gets up and moves to the middle of the ring. Kojack stumbles to his feet, and T-Bone crouches down, waiting for Kojack to stumble his way. Kojack does stumble his way, and he grabs him around the waist, picks him up, spins him 180 degrees, and slams him to the mat with a Classic Spinebuster. He rolls Kojack onto his stomach and faces the same way. He puts his right leg inbetween Kojack?s. He picks the left leg and brings it up perpendicular to T-Bone?s. He takes the other one and puts it over the crossed leg, and then wraps it around his own leg and T-Bone?s leg, pulling back on it while still standing.)

Axis: That looks like an inverted sharpshooter! That?s the move Edge was using!

Edwin: The proper name for that hold is the Queen Angelito Stretch. It puts a MAJOR beating on those legs of Kojack.

(T-Bone pulls back as Kojack reaches for the ropes. He wrenches it in harder as Frost gets to his feet behind T-Bone. Frost comes in from behind and takes T-Bone?s arm around his own neck. He grabs it with one hand and then brings his other arm inbetween both arms and lifts up, unlocking T-Bone from Kojack.)

Axis: The Cobra Clutch! It?s in! It?s gonna be a submission victory if T-Bone doesn?t do something!

(T-Bone inches towards the top rope and take a step. He?s about a foot away from the ropes, but Frost brings him backwards. T-Bone goes with the momentum and rams Frost back into the turnbuckle. T-Bone turns around as Frost wobbles out and kicks him in the stomach. He gets him cinched in for a vertical suplex, and then hooks the leg. He brings both hands together and locks them in. He lifts Frost up, and quickly brings him down on the back of his neck, sitting Frost straight up and then down.)

Axis: FISHERMAN BUSTER! T-Bone has Frost where he wants him!

(Kojack is now up and comes in from behind on T-Bone. Kojack goes to a knee and goes for the uppernut, and it connects. T-Bone grabs his nuts and turns around. He gets T-Bone into the powerbomb position. He lifts him up, and then releases at the apex of the powerbomb, dropping T-bone on his back. He drops down and covers, hooking the leg.)

Axis: THE JACK BOMB! The Jackknife Powerbomb! Kojack is going to regain the title! THERE IS A COVER!

ONE!

(The crowd boos louder...)

TWO!

(The crowd readies their trash...)

THREE...

(Frost gets up and comes across Kojack with a double axehandle. He picks up Kojack and kicks him in the stomach. He grabs around his neck and grabs onto Kojack?s tights at the hip. He lifts him up and then brings him down on the top of his head, making an implant on the mat with Kojack.)

Axis: ICE PICK! IT STARTS! NEAR FALLS A COMING!

(Frost doesn?t go for the cover, and picks Kojack up. He brings him over to the ropes and leans back to chop on Kojack?s chest.)

WHOO!

(T-Bone gets to his feet as Frost whips Kojack in. Kojack reverses and Frost bounces off the ropes. T-Bone sees his opportunity as Kojack readies to grab Frost. Kojack lifts Frost up for a pancake, but T-Bone bounces off and leaps in the air, grabbing Frost in mid-air with a ¾-face neckbreaker, bringing him down by the neck as Kojack finishes off the pancake.)

Axis: 3-D! 3-D! Kojack didn?t even see it! T-Bone came in behind Kojack?s back and nailed Frost with the 3-D!

Edwin: I guess we?ll call that, accidental teamwork?

King: Only accident here is you, Eddie!

(Kojack gets up and turns around, only to see T-Bone get up at the same time. He runs at T-Bone with a clothesline, but T-Bone takes the arm and brings it down into a Fujiwara Armbar, and then brings the legs over and locks the arm in. He locks his hands across the nose of Kojack and pulls back.)

Axis: CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! T-Bone is looking to survive! This match is now all about survival! The next big move might win the match for somebody!

(T-Bone wrenches in the hold as Kojack reaches for the ropes. He pulls back and the nose is red from the punishment inflicted by the submission hold. Kojack drags him and T-Bone towards the nearest ropes. He reaches again, but his fingertips barely graze the bottom rope. T-Bone cinches in the hold harder and wrenches back some more. Kojack screams out in pain as the fans chant T-Bone?s name.)

?T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE!?

(Frost is just starting to get up as Kojack makes another lunge for the ropes. He misses the ropes and T-Bone wrenches it in harder, bringing the head back some more. Frost gets to his feet as Kojack makes a final grasp, and this time, he gets it. T-Bone makes a final wrench and lets go. He stands up and turns around, right into a huge arm grabbing around his throat.)

Axis: T-Bone is going for the ride!

King: STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Edwin: Also known as Suicide King?s bedroom.

(Frost looks right into T-Bone?s eyes and lifts him up in the air. He holds him up for a few seconds and then drops him down with the big chokeslam. He then looks to the crowd and raises the closed fist, signaling the end of the match.)

Axis: An Early Winter might be coming for T-Bone, and Frost might be champ.

Edwin: At least he?s taking advantage of the opportunity I gave him.

King: BWAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE HEEL CHAMPIONS! THEY ARE EDDY GUERRERO-LIKE RUDO!

(Frost picks T-Bone up and places him in the powerbomb/piledriver position. He brings one arm up, and then the other, and locks in his hands. He brings T-Bone up and then flips him onto his back, holding onto the pinning predicament as the ref comes over for the cover.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

(Kojack comes in and makes a save. He pounds on Frost with right hands and backs him into the corner. He gives him a big right hand and then lifts him up onto the top rope. He climbs with him and grabs around Frost?s neck. He steps up to the top rope, and brings Frost to the top rope with him. He grabs onto Frost?s hip and lifts him up vertically, jumps off backwards and flips him onto his back as both wrestlers hit the mat hard.)

Axis: WHAT A SUPERPLEX! THAT HAS GOT TO TAKE ITS TOLL ON BOTH COMPETITORS!

(Both men lay on the mat, breathing hard. T-Bone has rolled out to the apron and is trying to pull himself up. He does and grabs the turnbuckle pad. He climbs up to the top rope and looks at his lying opponents. He looks to the crowd, who stands up, waiting for T-Bone to make his move.)

Axis: T-Bone has a choice! Both men are in the middle of the ring due to the superplex, but the obvious choice is the big man, Frost, since he is a little closer, but T-Bone has been known to stretch his limits.

Edwin: Big time decision for T-Bone!

(T-Bone stands up straight and then leaps off, bringing his arms and his knees into his chest and then extends them out, coming down with the brunt of the splash on Frost. T-Bone bounces off, grabbing his ribs and rolling on the mat.)

Axis: NO GAMBLING FOR THE CHAMP! HE TOOK THE SMART MOVE!

Edwin: Well, Kojack is up, and he is PISSED!

(Kojack is up and he sees T-Bone lying on the mat, holding his ribs. He walks over to the turnbuckle, exits to the apron, and climbs to the top rope. He gets to the top and leaps off, body spread out, splashing onto T-Bone hard, injuring the ribs even further.)

Axis: T-Bone?s ribs must be broken! That is a lot of punishment on those ribs!

(All three men now lie on the mat as the ref starts the ten count.)

ONE!

(The three men are still.)

TWO!

(There is some eye blinking going on, as all three participants are trying to recover.)

THREE!

(Same predicament for all...)

FOUR!

(The crowd is getting restless.)

FIVE!

(Frost rolls over onto his stomach.)

SIX!

(Kojack rolls over onto his.)

SEVEN!

(T-Bone lies still, clutching his ribs.)

EIGHT!

(Kojack reaches over and places his arm across T-Bone?s chest. The ref goes to make the count.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

(T-Bone barely gets the shoulder up, but he goes back to clutching his ribs. Frost reaches over and places HIS arm across T-Bone?s chest. Another count from the ref.)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...NO!

(T-Bone gets the shoulder up again.)

Axis: T-Bone has a lot more stamina than the challengers! Even with those ribs, he might be able to come back and get a shot to win!

(T-Bone gets to a knee as Kojack and Frost both jump at T-Bone with a double axehandle, but T-Bone falls down between them, and they hit each other with the axehandles. T-Bone tries to get to a knee again, and this time, he actually gets to both knees and stands up, pumping his fists to try and get back in the match. The crowd roars as T-Bone waits for Kojack and Frost to get to their feet. He rushes at Kojack and flattens him with a lariat. He bounces off the ropes for more momentum and leaps at Frost, flattening HIM with a flying lariat.)

Axis: T-Bone?s time has come!

King: THOSE GUYS BETTER FIGHT BACK!

(He brings Kojack over to the ropes and whips him into the opposite ropes. Kojack bounces off and T-Bone picks him up by the waist, turns him 180 degrees and slams him to the mat with a Classic Spinebuster. Frost runs at T-Bone as he is trying to get up, but T-Bone stays down and ducks the clothesline. Frost bounces off the ropes and T-Bone grabs him by the waist, lifts him up, spins him 180 degrees, and slams HIM down with the Classic Spinebuster.)

Axis: SPINEBUSTER CITY! T-Bone is on FIRE!

Edwin: It might be time to say good-bye to the challengers!

(T-Bone goes to the ropes and takes his thumb and slowly slits his own throat, signaling the end of the match. Kojack comes from behind and tries a clothesline, but T-Bone ducks down and Kojack goes flying over the ropes. He turns around, to see Frost coming at him with a clothesline. T-Bone ducks, turns, and kicks him in the stomach. He goes under Frost?s arm.)

Axis: THIS IS IT! PORTERHOUSE TIME!

King: You better not hit this...you Steak Sauce Covered Bastard!

Edwin: FINISH HIM, T-BONE!

(He takes his other arm and hooks his leg. He brings his hands together and clasps them. He brings Frost over and drops him on his head, holding on with his hands and making the bridge for the pinfall.)

Axis: PORTERHOUSE! COVER!

(The ref slides into position as the crowd counts along...)

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

Axis: T-BONE HAS SURVIVED THE MATCH! HE...has retained the World Television Championship!

(The ref claims the belt from the timekeeper as T-Bone goes over to him, clutching his ribs.)

Funyon: Your winner, and STILL...Smarks Junior League World Television Championnnnn...The Steak Sauce Covered Bastard, TEEEE-BOOOOOOOONE!

Axis: T-Bone has retained his title in a HARD-fought match. Give it up for Kojack and Frost, who gave a hell of an effort, but came up short.

King: DAMN YOUS, T-BONE! DAMN YOUS TO HELL!

Edwin: That's RIGHT! T-Bone IS for real. Forget Jobber To The Stars! Jobbers are jobbing to T-Bone now!

King: I wouldn?t go that far...

Axis: Ladies and Gentlemen, for the second week in a row, there is going to be a tag team main event, as XF9 comes together to battle the team of Stryke and Jacob Helmsley. It's all TONIGHT, on METAL!

(Metal fades to a commercial.)

April 11, 2002

(Suddenly the camera glows to life very slowly, bold red words flash SOLD-OUT! The bold and bright letters form L-I-V-E! “G0R0= BEINGZ RATINGS!” “I mark for porn!” signs are spotted. An “I’d rather be on Smarkdown!” is highlighted also. Not too soon after that dandy little segment that the camera showed the evil Suicide King, the Prince of flash and panache (and notably British) Edwin MacPhisto, and finally the neutral and retired Axis… Axis. Axis glances at the camera in complete confusion baffled, as Suicide King said a word that shouldn’t have been aired. The King glanced up to the camera that was recording, and swore again. Edwin drops his head into his propped hands, shaking his head sadly. Taking a long inward sigh.)

“Apparently we’re back!” Axis states slowly, baffled. “Oh yes… this will be treat, or maybe a huge mistake.” Edwin said looking up to the camera, his face mischievous.

“What another return… could it be…? (King makes obnoxious ‘dun’ ‘dun’ ‘dun’ sounds) LUCKY?” He said full-blown sarcasm with a skeptic face, perceived, as he didn’t think Edwin could deliver.

“We’ve seen the return of so many, really Edwin… who else? Renegade?” Axis face glows as he guesses excited. “No…” Edwin says a small grin, and then it changed straight to a frown. Apparently he received a message through his headgear.

“Oh crap… we have someone who would like to crash the party.” Edwin face turns to disgust. “Who? Silent?” Edwin says no, and King begins to chuckle.

“Obviously it’s Fury.” Suicide King relaxes into his seat as Edwin reaches past Axis (who was sitting in the middle in a very feeble attempt to stop a would-be fight.) MacPhisto hits a hard backhand chop into the back of his head! The fans giggle and begin a slow chant. “ED-WIN! ED-WIN!” One side begins, as the other chimes in “MAC-PHI-STO!” Trying to retain a rhythm.

Guitar riffs explode into the air as the lights go off. “Holy shit…” King says softly –barely audible- as the lights flicker and “Dig” explodes. Dumbfounded the crowd slowly raise to their feet, “DIG! BURY ME! UNDEREATH EVERYONE THAT I WAS!” Mudvayne’s “Dig” continues to play very harshly.

Edwin’s eyes start to adjust seeing a figure with his back to the crowd, and him arching his back. Oh crap… He thinks to himself, he was really hoping for Danny Williams to return for a promo. Party pooper. He thinks with a grin.

The lights go on, but are dim. A man about 6’3 stood his arched back facing the audience. Black hooded sweatshirt, baggy cargoes, and Orisis skate shoes. The fans know his once fan favorite under-dog. Black mist flies into the air, and splatters all over the ramp entrance.

“Weighing in at 195 pounds, he was unfortunately spawned from Easton, Pennsylvania…. He is the ‘True Plague’, ANDREW RICKMEN!” Funyon announces, barely stopping himself from saying Insane Luchador. This new ‘Plague’ turns out from his pose (with an added cross formation with his hands clenched into a fist). His hair spiked, eyes full of hatred, yet begins a fast pace walk down. He listens to the boos that drown out Axis cries of “IL! It’s IL!” An “ASS-HOLE!” chant picks up with rapid speed. Rickmen stops dead in his tracks looking around the ring, he then slowly turns around to the back of the ramp extending the middle finger and making the other fingers close into the palm of his hand.

“HEY!” Edwin yells with extreme anger. Plague holding a microphone smacks his lips, lets his hand and arm limp and slowly begins. “This one’s for you MacPhisto, after I pummel the shit out of Williams, you’ll regret you ever became commissioner.”

Edwin’s face flushes red and he remarks “Not bloody likely!” Heavy English accent pouring in, his face turns a dark red as Andrew brings up one hand slowly making the same obscene gesture. “Just for you Edwin.”

King snorts with laughter, and the “asshole” chant grows deafening. Andrew Rickmen slides into the ring, as the drowned out Mudvayne dies.

”And his opponent… ‘Deathwish’ Danny Williams!” Funyon announces jumping the gun, probably hoping for him to magically appear and to kick IL’s ass. Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts. The ‘Tron simply flashes “Deathwish” in bright white letters. He comes out to cheers. Which he draws in, shocked of the cheers… even if you hate someone a lot, the person you hate a bit you’d rather see when a match (right)?

Anyways, he walks down the ring at a brisk pace, sliding in. The bell chimes, as IL does a little circle, his body erect, ready to go (I know some of you will laugh…). Deathwish listens to cheers… I could get used to that! He thinks to himself.

Insane Luchador takes a huge step forward, faking a grapple then throwing out a clenched right fist to Danny’s chin. Danny’s head snaps backwards, and Andrew throws a left punch lower and not quite as hard to the top of his chest. Danny reels backwards, and IL tests his luck lunging forward, only to get a right hand to his eye.

Ouch, crap! I’ll take him down just like Rex… IL thinks slowly, trying to ignore the immense pain. Danny follows up nicely with a strong grapple and knees Insane Luchador in his gut, and then he continues with a fluent headlock. He drops back first to the mat, leaving Andrew dazed laying face first on the mat.

“Insane Luchador has seem to like to brawl more now… he sucks at it, I don’t do it, he shouldn’t.” King comments, and then shakes his head disgusted. “I think I just agreed with Edwin…” “You agreed to Operation P.O.O.F.N.A.R.” Edwin snaps back, watching Insane Luchador being dragged up by his spiked hair. Danny slams his head into Andrew’s forehead, and they both reel back. IL tries to counter throwing a sloppy punch, which Danny caught with his right hand, and he pulls IL towards him clotheslining him harshly. Insane Luchador quickly gets to both knees, and Danny is met with a huge punch to his gazoonga’s. Danny by natural reaction bends over, and Insane Luchador leaps up kneeing Williams’s nose.

“Hmm… I’m beginning to like the new Rickmen.” King says with a smirk.

Williams falls to his back, and IL attempts a sloppy pin. The ref drops to his stomach but doesn’t have to even count a one. Insane Luchador growls and he grabs Williams’s hair, pulling him up. Insane Luchador smirks wildly, and he then grins wildly. He stands there smirking to a chorus of boos. He closes his fists, and then pulls back his right arm. He rockets it into Deathwish’s chest, and then throws a low right-legged sidekick to his ribs.

“COME ON DANNY!” Edwin yells pissed at what looks like a complete beat-down.

Axis agrees slightly, and flinches as Insane Luchador throws a left jab, a right hand haymaker to the body to Danny. Danny with a violent snap ducks a high roundhouse kick, and lunges forward tackling Insane Luchador, he then begins to pummel him with punches. Rickmen pinned under much pain, but manages to throw out a right hand to Danny’s chin. Danny ignores it, and begins to choke IL. The ref counts –rather- slowly King comments. Danny squeezes harder, and IL’s face turns a purplish color. The ref reaches four, where Danny only gets his left hand punching Rickmen’s chest. Andrew Rickmen short of air and options smirks, and a small trickle of black is shown. Danny realizes what’s coming, but however way too late. Andrew Rickmen spits out a fresh batch of black mist making Danny let go and his eyes watery. The ref stares down at the two, Andrew Rickmen takes a huge breath in, and slowly releases it letting the Mist run down his chin. Boos erupt everywhere, and the referee has to make a vital decision.

“RICKMEN DID IT IN SELF-DEFENSE!” King cried out, as Edwin obviously disagrees. “DANNY WAS LETTING GO!” He retorted with a snort. Axis keeps his mouth shut, and does a little shrug. Insane Luchador gets to his feet, as Danny gets up blinded, he swings at air, his back facing True Plague Rickmen. The ref beckons for Funyon, and ref leans over and slowly tells him to make an announcement. “Instead of placing a double DQ, the match will continue but any other act will result in a DQ!” The fans grumble wanting to let the match end, but all rise to their feet. Andrew Rickmen locked in a Full Nelson!

“NOOOO! NOT THE BRINK OF INSANITY!” Edwin screams, watching Andrew gracefully hop onto the top turnbuckle, move held on ready to execute it. King nods slowly and says “Stupid to waste the mist so early…”

INSANE LUCHADOR LEAPS INTO THE AIR… but Deathwish throws him over his back getting out of the lock! “WAIT!” Axis cries out while Andrew Rickmen barely lands on both feet. Andrew spins around getting a knee to the gut again, Plague in a vain attempt to save himself throws his body forward. Pinning Williams into the corner he makes two powerful fists and slams with beyond rapid speed into William’s head. The ref tells Andrew to stop, as blood fly in small amounts, and William’s right hand tries to punch True Plague away, but soon his left hand signals for the tap! Insane Luchador slows down, then finally stops. Danny drops to his BUTT, breathing in hard. He rolls out of the ring, as Insane Luchador celebrates in the way, staring at the blood on his knuckles however. Williams on the outside grabs Funyon by the back of his neck (and Edwin protests) while he grabs the steel chair. He silently slides into the ring. Andrew Rickmen barks to the crowd who heaves empty cups of beer and empty bags everywhere. Danny charges forward, and Andrew whips around only to have red-hot pain surge through himself. He falls to the ground knocked out. Danny rubs some blood trickling from his nose, as he lefts IL up and hooks his right arm around IL’s leg. He then lifts him into a scoop slam, however by the chair.

“YES! GIVE THAT BRAT WHAT HE DESERVES!” Edwin screams with joy as Danny adjusts into tombstone.

Danny steps onto the chair, bending his knees… and leaping into the air, Black Mist’s dry flakes fly off as Insane Luchador’s skull slams into the chair. A “DEATH-WISH!” chant barely is heard from a group of guys from the back. “Dig” is still play as Danny spits in the face of Insane Luchador.

“IL takes the battle, but Danny wins the war!” Edwin and Axis both say with glee. SK sighs slowly. “Hate watching jobbers…” he comments.

The screen slowly yet surely fades to black as IL’s head is cut open, blood forming a pool in the folded chair and some seeping out onto the canvas. Danny at the top of the ramp laughs loudly and leaves.

April 11, 2002

The entire arena stretches below. I can see their signs, their shirts, and hear their incessant noise. They have come to be entertained. I have come to observe. Nightwatch makes a quiet noise in my ear, one that I have never heard before. Perhaps he is just as nervous as I am. Everything must go according to plan, or it will all fail. This is my calling, the one I have known for quite awhile now, but haven’t bothered to take up until now. After all of the wrongs done to me, and to the people, I cannot take them lightly anymore. I cannot stand idly by while pure evil runs rampant. There must be vengeance.

-Edwin MacPhisto- “So far on Metal, we’re hitting gold with our matches, not to mention a huge rating spike!”

-Suicide King- “How would you know, you can’t get ratings that fast.”

-Edwin- “I am in tune with the fans, dear chap. Everytime someone turns on our shows, I get this little butterfly in my stomach.”

-Axis- “It’s true, I’ve felt it before.”

-King- “You just admitted to feeling the butterflies in another man’s stomach? What is with you international types?”

-Axis- “We’re secure.”

-Edwin- “And we like butterflies. All of those pinks, and purples, and yellows… they’re just so dandy…”

-King- “Well there’s no room for butterflies or dandelions… or pink bunnies in our main event…”

-Edwin- “Wait… no pink bunnies?”

-King- “No.”

-Edwin- “Not even one, eensie teensie magenta jackrabbit?”

-King- “No!”

-Edwin- “Ah well, it was worth a try… continue.”

-King- “I don’t know if I can…”

-Axis- “Our main event… Stryke and Helmsley take on Ash Ketchum and Erek Taylor in a Tag Bout.”

-Edwin- “A tag extravaganza!”

-King- “You want to talk about tag extravaganzas… when I was in the IGNWO, we had a tag match against…”

-Edwin- “Ah- Ah- Ah-concietedjerk-choo!”

-King- “Gezundheit… wait a second…”

As the Gambling Man turns to bonk Edwin on the head, the lights go suddenly dim, and only dark blue barely illuminates the black. The crowds hush, and look for some better source of light. I can make them out even in the darkness, and Nightwatch can as well, he sees impeccably. He begins to stir, but I calm him with words. “Not yet,” I say to him. He ruffles a bit, and then settles down.

-Axis- “Well well, what have we here?”

The SmarkTron comes to life as that scary Batman theme music starts playing. How fitting. A shot of the moon, adorned by wisps of dark clouds on perhaps the scariest night in history. The howl of a faraway wolf, and perhaps the rustling of leaves. The people in the seats peer to the screen to get a better look as words begin to form.

“The Crimes of the many… are avenged by the few…”

“Justice, swift and blind, is brought down on their heads…”

“And no one will stand against the pure vengeance that they deserve…”

-King- “Edwin!”

-Edwin- “What!”

-King- “You’re reading out loud!”

-Edwin- “Oh…”

MacPhisto mouths the words to himself as they continue to appear…

“Your retribution comes from above, and in the night sky is salvation for the weak.”

“I am the Angel of the Night… I am the Protector of the Just…”

“For the wicked, I am the Truest Judgement… for the faithful…”

“I am the Dark Knight.”

I thrust my hand forward, and Nightwatch flies! The eerie belltones sound over the PA while the dark blue “V” appears over the screen of the Tron. A spotlight shines on Nightwatch’s grey form as he swoops down over the ring, causing the people to gasp, and then cheer. His wings silently flap as he continues to circle, then flies towards the SmarkTron, hovering above it for several seconds. Finally, he returns to the ring, and comes back to me. And I linger, unseen by any of their eyes up above. Watching… waiting…

-King- “What the hell was that?”

-Axis- “An owl.”

-Edwin- “Somebody let an owl in here?”

-Axis- “Actually, I think that owl is supposed to be symbolic. Some sort of presence, like an owl, is watching us all in the darkness.”

-King- “You mean… there’s somebody up there?”

All three of them look, but can see nothing. It is dark. Just the way I like it. Just the way I intended it. And I just stand on top of a beam, watching the screen fade and the lights return. Watching everyone in wonder of what they have just seen, and trying to piece together the meaning. Tonight I watch… and I wait…

But next time… the wait is over…

April 11, 2002

Fans sit in the sold out arena for tonights Metal, with electicity filling the air, as they've been treated to an awesome night of wrestling thus far. And the fans watching from their homes, are just as anxious for the show to continue, as Axis welcomes them back.

"(Axis) Welcome back to The Melon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. We're coming off our TV Title Match between the champion, T-Bone, and the challengers, Kojack and Frost."

"(King) But next is the battle between Mike Van Siclen and Mafia, in what could be a tremendous clash of rising stars in the SJL. These two will no doubt meet each other later on, but in this first match between them, this is where it could all begin"

"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong suddenly hits, causing the fans to stand and boo uncontrollably. Multi-colored lights flash, and spotlights await Mafia onstage, and finally he walks out. Decked out in black and purple tights, knee braces, standard wrestling boots, elbow pads, black Mafia shirt, black tape around the forearm and hands, and trenchcoat; The Hitman soaks in the atmosphere with arms outstretched and palms facing up, as he walks down to the ring and the spotlights follow him down.

"(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen, this following contest is an Singles Match scheuduled for one fall! First making his way down to the ring, from Denver, Colorado. Standing an even six feet and weighing in at 215 pounds. MMAAAFIA!"

"(Axis) Mafia comes down now, the sick bastard whose over-inflated ego couldn't take a loss on Metal, in a Hardcore Rules Elimination Triple Threat between himself, Xero and Jacob Helmsley. So after the match, he decided to throw his dispatcher, Xero, off the stage area!"

"(Edwin) Quite simply uncalled for. The way we understand it, Xero is NOT here tonight, but he will no doubt be looking to take Mafia apart as soon as he returns from his rest. From the buzz in the backstage, Mafia has been bragging to fellow wrestlers that he took Xero out."

"(King) Pffft. Xero got what was coming to him."

Mafia takes a slow turn at the bottom of the ramp, proceeding towards the ring steps and walking up. The fans heckle him and he shouts back, before climbing through the ring ropes and taking off his jacket, handing it to the ring attendant on the outside. He shares words with Matthew Kivell, the Referee appointed for this match, as "Runaway" by Linkin Park kicks up as the arena goes dim. Suddenly, two blue spotlights shine down on MVS as he slowly struts out onto the stage and down to the ring. The clear favorite, the fans cheer him on as, the blue spotlights shut off, and WHAM! A blast of white pyro illuminates Mike as he runs down and slide into the ring, MVS then poses on a turnbuckle nearest the announcers.

"(Funyon) And in the ring, from Harrison, Illinois. Standing in at six-foot-four and weighing in at 237 pounds. Mike Van Sic-len!"

Mafia slinks back into the ring after making way for MVS, and he runs up to Van Siclen from behind and strikes him with a forearm to the back, as Funyon hurries out of the ring. Mike climbs down, and Mafia grabs his arm from behind, twisting it into a Hammerlock. Matthew Kivell, signals for the bell.

*Ding Ding Ding *

?(Axis) Mafia not wasting any time here, as he gets the first shot on MVS, and wants to get this match over very quickly.?

Mafia keeps the Hammerlock applied, and MVS continues to attempt to find a way out. Van Siclen dives down to the mat, the force of which throws Mafia off of his back. Both men come to a standing position, and Van Siclen goes for a right hand. Ducked by Mafia, he knees Van Siclen in the gut. With Mike crouched over, Mafia takes a small charge, planting him with a boot to the side of the head. Van Siclen dazed and falling towards the mat, is pinned by Mafia, but before Kivell even has a chance to count, Mike throws Mafia off with a quick and forceful kickout. Both men once again come to a stand at the same time, and MVS takes Mafia?s head off with a brutal clothesline. Mafia lays on the mat momentarily, before MVS lifts him up by the hair, and whips him into the ropes. Mafia hangs onto the ropes, and upon seeing this, MVS gets a head of steam and takes a run towards Mafia. Mafia jumps onto Van Siclen for a Lou Thesz Press, but is caught in his arms, and immediately tossed over the top rope with ease. Mafia takes a tumble, and Van Siclen climbs out after him.

?(Axis) Fast paced match thus far, and the Amazing One is keeping up with the man who thinks he?s The Saviour of the SJL.?

?(Edwin) Mafia?s a twisted one, at that. Never been completely sane. But thus far Van Siclen is taking everything Mafia has given him, even getting the best of him.?

?(King) You?ll see. I predict in less than two months, Mafia will be the SJL Champion. And you?re a fine one to talk about the level of one?s sanity, Edwin.?

?(Axis) Harsh statement. I, for one, am wagering against Mafia on that account. He hasn?t even won a title yet.?

Mafia does his best to cover up, as MVS beats on him with stomps on the outside. Finally Van Siclen backs off at Kivell?s beckoning, and Mafia attempts to stand. Van Siclen gets tired of waiting, and he approaches Mafia. Mafia though gets a rake of the eyes on MVS, afterward throwing him right shoulder first into corner post. Mafia picks up MVS, and does so again, damaging Van Siclen moreso. MVS stumbles away, clutching his shoulder, as Mafia grabs him from behind to roll him back into the ring, near the side of the announcer table. Mafia stalking Van Siclen, jumps up and drops the leg onto the arm of Van Siclen. Afterward, floating over and locking his legs ?round the arm, and locking in an Armbar. MVS fights to the ropes, and Mafia breaks. Mafia glares at Kivell, before picking up Van Siclen and wrenching the arm, then delivering driving shoulders to the socket. Mafia whips Van Siclen to the ropes by his already hurting arm, but hangs on to pull Van Siclen right back, going right into a Drop Toe Hold. Van Siclen?s face strikes the mat and he lays stomach first, as Mafia jumps over to wrap his arms around the arm of MVS. Mafia keeps it pouring it on with the submissions, and MVS continues to struggle.

?(King) Yeah, Van Siclen is really getting the best of Mafia now.?

?(Axis) Okay, so maybe I spoke too soon.?

Mike Van Siclen rallies back with the support of the fans, as Mafia lets go. Now working with one arm primarily, he throws a left to the face of Mafia which connects. Mafia staggers, and MVS throws a kick to the midsection. With Mafia now crouched over, Van Siclen takes a charge, grabbing the head of Mafia and throwing him down with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Mafia grabs his head, and pushes up off the mat, where Van Siclen catches him with a perfect Dropkick. Mafia hits the ground, and MVS pins.

?(Axis) Pin!?

?one?

Mafia kicks out at one, and MVS picks up Mafia, to whip him to the corner. Mafia thinks MVS is running after, and he slingshots off the corner, thinking he fooled MVS. MVS stands behind Mafia, and he spins Mafia around, underhooking the arms, going for a Double Arm DDT. Mafia fights out, and gives a stiff kick to the shoulder of MVS, trying to keep the momentum from turning fully. Mafia runs to the ropes and springs off, only to be Back Body Dropped, but not fully, as MVS holds onto the legs, attempting his finisher early on. The aching shoulder of MVS is too much, as he lets go of Mafia, and Mafia goes for a Victory Roll, grabbing the legs of MVS and pinning.

?(Axis) Pin off the Van Slaminator reversal!?

?one?

?(Axis) One count for Mafia.?

MVS gets the kickout just before two, and the two foes stand off the mat. Mafia charges MVS, going for a Clothesline, ducked by Van Siclen. Mafia though thrusts his leg back, and catches MVS with the surprise Back Kick to the face. MVS clutches his jaw, and Mafia follows up with a chop to the chest. Now near the corner, Mafia props Van Siclen on the turnbuckle, facing the crowd. Mafia stands back to back with him, and he appears to be going for the Super Neckbreaker. MVS clutches onto the post, as Mafia goes running partways across the ring without his intended victim. Frustrated, Mafia instead climbs onto the top turnbuckle, positioning himself behind MVS. Mafia looks out towards the crowd, and appears to be thinking about a Reverse Frankensteiner, but MVS knocks him off the rope with repeated elbows. Mafia hits the mat, as MVS stands up on the top rope. Gracefully, Van Siclen leaps off, flipping backwards?only to hit the canvas stomach first. Mafia rolls out of the way of the Moonsault, and MVS hits hard. Mafia looks down at MVS, then over to Kivell, then over to the fans, as he signals that it?s time to put MVS away. Mafia turns MVS over onto his back, and with a swift movement?he places his foot onto top of Van Siclens chest and shouts?

?(Axis) What in the??

?(Mafia) PIIINNNN!?

?(King) Oh My God! It?s the Cocky Pin! It?s the Cocky Pin!?

?(Axis) Give me a break.?

?one?

?Two!?

?(Axis) Shoulder up, not surprisingly.?

?(Edwin) I can?t believe he brought out the Cocky Pin for us on this night. And it?s not even Pay-Per-View!?

?(Axis) A foot on the chest is NOT a finisher!?

?(King) The Cocky Pin is how the career of both Bruno Sammartino and Stan Hansen came to an end. It?s that devastating.?

?(Axis) Somehow I think you?re lying.?

The crowd boos Mafia, and he reacts by flipping ?em the finger. As he becomes increasingly infuriated, he jumps up onto the ropes to scream at the crowd, as Van Siclen forces himself from the mat. Mafia turns around, only to see Van Siclen charging at him at full speed, and diving into his chest with the Spear. The wind is immediately knocked out of Mafia as he gasps for air. Van Siclen climbs up onto the chest of Mafia, and begins to pound away with quick left hands, upset at being disrespected by Mafia. Mafia attempts to block, and fight out of it, only to have Kivell save him with interference, by pulling at the arm of MVS. MVS finally lets go of Mafia, as Kivell warns him not to use the closed fist again. MVS turns away from him, only to have Mafia tackle MVS, grabbing his legs and attempting to put him into the Walls of Jericho. MVS fights, and he pushes Mafia off into the corner. MVS stands, and Mafia is grabbed into the Standing Facelock. MVS appears to be going for a DDT, but his plans are evident when he does a 180 degree spin and sets up for the Code Red. MVS completes the spin and pushes down Mafia by the head, and his face slams into the mat. MVS goes for the pin.

?(Axis) Mafia getting upset with the fans, and he pays for it with a Spear, followed up with a Code Red. Here?s the pin!?

?one?

?Two!?

?(Axis) Mafia gets the shoulder up??

Mafia picks himself up off the mat, and he?s met by MVS who hits him with a slap across the face. MVS immediately pushes towards Mafia, and grabs his arm to whip him to the ropes. Mafia recoils off the opposite side, and comes running towards MVS. Mafia?s quickness pays off, as he slides in between the legs of MVS, and comes up behind him, underhooking the arms and tossing him back with the ever dangerous Tiger Suplex. Van Siclen?s head bounces off the mat and he?s turned inside out, eventually ending up on his stomach. Mafia follows up, jumping to the top rope and taking his opportunity. With MVS laying on the mat, Mafia jumps off and performs a front flip, eventually stretching his leg out and measuring MVS. But just like Van Siclen?s Moonsault from beforehand, MVS rolls out of the way, and Mafia falls the hard way into the mat. Van Siclen recovers from the previous Suplex, whilst Mafia recovers from the botched Hangover. Both stand off the mat, and Van Siclen gets behind Mafia waistlocking him. Van Siclen pulls Mafia back, but Mafia jumps out of the waist lock, and he hooks Van Siclen up in the standing headscissors, wrapping his arms underneath Van Siclen and pulling up. Mafia appears to be going for the Sit-Out Powerbomb, but MVS jumps off Mafia?s shoulders. MVS then flattens Mafia with a Spinning Wheel Kick, the Van Cyclonator minus the chair. Mafia lays on the ground dazed, as MVS bends down to lift him up. Before MVS knows it, Mafia hooks a leg of MVS with his own two legs, and he rolls MVS onto his shoulders.

?(Axis) Mafia with the Cradle??

?one?

?Two!?

?THREE!?

*Ding Ding Ding *

"(Funyon) Your winner, by pinfall. MMAAAFIAAAA!"

?Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck? plays as Mafia quickly rolls out of the ring. Mike Van Siclen though, sits on his knees confused as to what happened. The fans sit just as confused as well, as they boo Mafia none the less.

?(Edwin) What happened??

?(King) Mafia just used his smarts to outwit MVS. That?s what.?

?(Axis) Mafia got the pinfall off the Mahistrol Cradle, and he was VERY lucky to escape this one with Mike Van Siclen. Mafia had his number on that exchange, and came out on top. Perhaps they?ll meet during their respective hunts for the European Championship, to settle the score and bring some justice to this one.?

?(Edwin) ?Twas that incompetant ref, Kivell.?

?(King) No hard feelings just because your pick lost.?

?(Axis) Back in a moment.?

April 11, 2002

... And we’re back! The camera shows a quick outside shot of ‘The Igloo’ as the marquee flashes ...SJL Metal ... SOLD OUT! ... . The camera cuts inside, and pans around the usual electric crowd, with the trademark 'AXIS! AXIS!' chant in full swing! The camera halts its spin and settles on the announcers' table, manned by The Usual Suspects.

Axis: LIVE from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, it’s ESS... JAY... ELL... Metal! I’m "That Australian Guy" Axis, alongside "Panda Wrangler" Edwin MacPhisto, and "The Dark Jackass of the SWF" the Suicide King!

King: I deeply resent that, Axis.

Edwin: You shallowly resemble that, too.

King: Don’t make me find my whup-ass can opener, you no world title winning ho.

Axis: Children! Play nice. The next match should do most of the fighting for you anyway. Z and Tom Flesher will take on 'The Fallen Angel' Shawn Brody.

Edwin: Axis, Axis, Axis... how unlike you to forget about the ambiguous '?'. Herein, said '?' represents a partner for Brody, which he has to find himself. So, '?' = Partner. We’ll also say that 'Z+F' = Opposition. And, of course, 'B' = Shawn Brody. So, B + ? x Z+F = Tag match! You follow?

Axis: ...

King: ...

Edwin: Right! Of course, have to add in 'BAAF' or, Brody is an Alienating Asshole Factor. In that case, B + ? + BAAF - ? x Z+F = handicap match!

Axis: ...

King: ...

Edwin: Granted we could also factor in the 'ZTDM' problem, which means that Z is Truly a Dopey Moron, and then...

Edwin trails off, rambling, as the generic rock of the SJL Metal theme fades away into nothingness and the arena darkens. Over the PA, the opening strains of the Doors' "Tell All The People" start to play. A large X of Pyro sprays out across the curtain, and as Jim Morrison sings "Tell all the people that you see... follow me...." Flesher walks from the Gorilla Area, to an unusual pop.

Axis: The Pennsylvanian crowd showing a bit of appreciation for Tom Flesher tonight, after that awful match he had with Shawn Brody on Crimson. Of course, not that it would matter if they weren’t cheering him...

King: Feh. What happened to Tom? He had SO much potential. Now look at him, playing to the crowd...

Axis: But he did that anyway!

King: ... teaming up with that milquetoast Z...

Axis: But wasn’t that before...?

King: Before nothing! He’s a disgrace to me, Axis! A disgrace!

As Axis sighs at his cohort, Flesher steps into the ring, basking in the massive adoration of a, let’s say, even crowd. He sets down his beer mug and tightens the laces of his Doc Martens, as Funyon raises the microphone to his lips...

Funyon: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a TAG-TEAM match! Introducing first, from the OTHER Canada, Buffalo, New York... 'The Superior One' TOM ... FLESHER!!

Tom does his usual schtick, dropping to his knees in the centre of the ring. Again, he gets a decidedly even reaction, maybe with a little more than most of it coming in jest. The sound of The Doors fade away, to be replaced by the cheery pop sounds of Faith No More's 'Epic' as the crowd comes alive!

Funyon: And his partner...

"Can you feel it? See it? Hear it today"...

As Michael Patton’s nasally vocals tear through the Stereo, Z steps through the curtain to a decidedly better reaction than Flesher. Z walks down to the ring, playfully encouraging the crowd in that lovably dopey way of his as Funyon makes his introduction.

Funyon: From Trenton, New Jersey! Weighing in at 229lbs... Z!!

Axis: Well, the last time we saw Z, he came down to help out Flesher in his match, and prevented Tom from being caned by Brody and Melissa.

Edwin: Lest you forget, the devious Brody thought to stop that by handcuffing Z to a bathroom stall. With plastic handcuffs, but everyone appreciated the effort none the less.

King: Honestly, I’m surprised Z managed to get them off over the past three days.

Z walks up the steps, stumbling and bumbling his way through the ropes and over to his and Tom's corner, (Left from the entrance) where Flesher graciously declines Z's offer of a pre-match hug for luck. They attempt to talk strategy, with Z making ridiculous hand motions. As they talk, the arena darkens....

Funyon: And their opponents....

The eerie intro of Stabbing Westward’s "Darkest Days" starts to emanate from the PA system. The slow jingle of bells and the beat of a drum catch the fans’ attention as they turn their heads to the entranceway. The lights strobe against the black velvet curtains as the anticipating fans await his arrival with the music growing in volume. A figure in black robes steps out from behind the curtains with Melissa following behind, as the fans greet him with heated boos. Flashbulbs pop and sparkle all around as he pauses on stage, raising his Kendo Stick high and looking out into the thousands on their feet and shouting insults and obscenities. Melissa slithers her hand around his waist with a bad-girl smile, posing for a second before they start down the ramp.

Funyon: Accompanied by Melissa, weighing in at 227lbs... representing the Clan... 'The Fallen Angel' SHAAAWN ... BRODY!!

Axis: Well, we’ve seen Shawn talk to a few people before this match, but seeing as he pushed almost everyone away from him, this match could very well end up as a 2-on-one affair.

King: Unfortunately, Brody didn’t come to me first! I would have gladly teamed with him! After all, what other former World Champion is in the SJL?

Melissa slides off Brody’s robe, and takes his Kendo Stick, before he steps onto the apron, glaring daggers at Tom Flesher. He leans back in the corner from Z and Flesher, never breaking his leer.

King: Hmm... Melissa looks yummy tonight.

Axis: You’re married, King!

King: And? All I’m saying is, if I ran a porn site, Melissa'd be the first woman I'd talk to!

Edwin: If you ran a pr0n site, It’d be full of popups and 404 errors, King.

King: Oh yeah? And what would you know about that?!

Axis: Guys...

Edwin: Plenty, I’ll have you know! You mean to say you’ve never been to http://www.hotpandaluvluv.org? For just $19.99 a month you can have hot, live panda luvluv... IN YOUR BROWSER!

Axis: Edwin!

Edwin: This weeks special: Ling Ling and Xiang are left housesitting, and things start to get a little 'blue' when Xiang...

Axis: EDWIN!

Fortunately, Funyon stops this from going any further...

Funyon: And his partner...

The twinkling rhythms of ‘Esaka?’ sound through the stereo, as the crowd and announcer’s sit in stunned silence. The main beat picks up, as a short, tanned skinned man makes his way from the curtain...

Funyon: From San Jose, California, weighing in at 191lbs.... CED... ORDONEZ!!

The crowd remains quiet, as Ced steps down the ramp, and unreadable expression on his face. Finally, Axis breaks the silence.

Axis: Well... we saw 'The Fallen Angel' speak to Ced before this match, but I never would have thought...

King: Thought nothing! Looks like Ced's come into reality, and ready to join the winning team!

Edwin: Bull Durham, King. Ced's just too goodhearted to turn down someone in need. You remember Z and his tights, right?

King(giggling): Unfortunately! At least this time, Ced won't look so stupid when he wins!

Ced clambers up to the apron, his face remaining unreadable. He turns to talk to Brody, but falls victim to a vicious running knee by Flesher! Brody and Z scamper to the apron, as referee Sexton Hardcastle quickly signals the timekeeper!

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Axis: These two men not wasting any time! Irish Whip by Flesher, easily reversed by Ordonez! 'The Superior One' shoots off the ropes... and may have just had his perfect smile messed up with a roundhouse kick by Ced! Flesher scrambles to his feet, only to be the victim of a belly to back suplex! ... and another, dropping Tom right on his neck!

Edwin: Ced bridges!

One!

TWO!

THREE - NO!!

Axis: Near fall!

King: She-zeaum! These guys coming out of the gate almost as fast as I do! Not *quite* though, seeing as I’m a former SWF champion and all.

Quickly, Ced gets to his feet, pulling Tom up with him. He shoots Flesher to the ropes, hopping up and locking his thighs around Tom’s neck in a headscissors. With a jerky motion, Ced tries to work Flesher down to the ground, but his 22lbs weight difference makes that difficult. Stopping trying to pull Flesher over, Ced nabs Tom’s arm and literally slides off his head, locking in a reverse six seconds magic! Flesher struggles to stand upright with all of Ced’s weight on one side of his body, taking to one knee. Ced continues, trying to hyperextend the elbow as Flesher sits down in the hold, bringing the foot closest to Ced over and snapping the heel of one of his Doc Marten’s down on Ordonez’s face! Flesher takes advantage of the moment of release and runs over to tag Z. Z enters the ring and lifts Ced to is feet, then starts nailing him with elbow strikes. Ced slowly comes back to his senses and chops Z in the chest

WHOO!

again

WHOO!

and once more

WHOO!

before he relents. As Ordonez begins to regain ground, however, Z leans forward and tags Flesher in, and Tom reenters the ring behind Ced.

Ced doesn't see the tag and so isn't expecting Flesher to charge in behind him and dropkick him in the pit of the knee. Ced collapses to the mat and Flesher drops an elbow into the tender soft spot behind the knee, then drags Ced back toward the corner. Flesher drops to the mat and slaps on an anklelock, but is woefully close to the corner and Ced grabs the ropes almost immediately. Referee Sexton Hardcastle steps in and gives Flesher a four-count, which Flesher dutifully obeys before dropping another elbow into Ced's knee. Ced slides under the bottom rope to get a break in the action, but Flesher motions wildly for Z to go to the other side. Z charges into the ring and bounces off the ropes, and as he comes toward Flesher, Tom back body drops him over the top rope and onto Ced. Z connects, knocking Ced back to the floor, as Flesher drops to his knees into a biceps flex. Brody, meanwhile, gives a bored golf clap.

Edwin: Oh my god! Did you see that?!

King: PATENTLY ILLEGAL! They shouldn't be allowed to do that, Z is the illegal man, and besides, Ced's on the outside!

Edwin: Oh, don't get your spades in a knot.

Z rolls off of Ced, having landed pretty hard on him, and climbs back to the corner. Ced, meanwhile, pulls himself up to the apron and reenters the ring, where Flesher is waiting to put the boots to him. Ced ducks and covers, and Sexton Hardcastle forces Flesher to back off while Ced gets back to his feet. As soon as Ced manages to pull himself to his feet, Flesher charges over and nails him with a Doc Marten to the face. Flesher whips Ced into the Flesher/Z corner and charges in with another boot to the face.

Edwin: My GOD!

Axis: What?

Edwin: Ced's face!

Axis: Pardon me?

Edwin: His face! It's in peril!

Axis cracks Edwin upside the head with a newspaper as Flesher charges in with a third boot to the face, following through so hard that he has to grab the top rope as he sails between the middle and bottom ropes. Ced once again rolls away, and to prevent losing ground, Flesher reaches up and desperately slaps at Z's hand, tagging him in much to his surprise. Z looks shocked, but immediately enters the ring and chases after Ced. Unfortunately, Z trips on the ropes and falls flat on his face, giving Ced an opportunity to tag Brody in. Brody enters the ring to a shower of boos from the crowd, sees Z in the corner, and drags him by his scraggly ponytail into the corner. Brody chops him in the chest

WHOO! and Z screams OW!

a few more times

WHOO! Ow! WHOO! Ow! WHOO! Ow!

before Z collapses in the corner and grabs his chest. Brody lifts Z to his feet and tags Ced, who climbs to the top rope. Brody then executes a snapmare, following it through with a stiff kick to the spine, completing the Spinal Tap. Ced dives off the top rope and hits Z with a somersault whiplash. Z's head falls forward and then snaps back as Brody exits the ring listlessly. Ced is still hurting from the opening, so he is unable to cover Z. Brody yawns and Ced gets to his feet and boots Z in the ribs. Ordonez pulls Z to his feet and whips him into a neutral corner, then follows in with a hard spear. Z stumbles out of the corner and flops forward, allowing Ced to roll him over and cover him. Sexton Hardcastle counts

ONE

TWO

THR- NO! Tom Flesher dives off the top rope and nails a flying headbutt into Ced's back, then rolls out of the ring before Ced can figure out what happened!

Axis: Ced had Z pinned! Flesher's interference is completely unwarranted!

King: What are you babbling about? This is a tag team match! It's perfectly acceptable!

Axis: It's unethical!

King: It's part of the deal. Listen, I know how things work. I'm a former World Champion and you're not, therefore I'm much smarter and more ring-aware than you are. Deal with it.

Edwin: Deal with it! HA! You're just so punny tonight!

Axis: God take me now.... *grumble*

Z and Ced are both down in the center of the ring. Both wrestlers begin to get to their feet, Ced a bit more quickly than Z. Ced makes it to his feet first and whips Z to the ropes. As Z bounces off, Ordonez nails him with an armdrag takeover, then crawls down his body and goes for a reverse crucifix kneebar. Z gives him a boot to the chest and keeps him from locking it up, and then hops back to his feet. Once again, Ordonez whips him to the ropes, but this time he charges determinedly toward Ced. Ced sees it coming, but Z plants his feet on Ced's thigh and attempts to run up his body and go for a backbrain calf kick. Calmly, Ced ducks the kick, sending Z to the mat and allowing Ced to tag out to the Fallen Angel.

Brody enters the ring and grabs Z in much the same fashion as his previous stint in the ring, dragging him by his ponytail into the corner and nailing him with strikes, opting for roundhouse kicks to the ribs this time. Brody executes a snap suplex and floats over for a cover for

ONE

TWO

KICKOUT by Z! Brody gets up, shrugs, and sulks over to the corner, where he forcefully slaps Ced's hand, tagging the still-hurting submission mark back into the match. Brody then steps through the ropes and jumps down to the floor, where he starts talking to Melissa. Ordonez disbelievingly reenters the ring, where Z is back on his feet. Ordonez grabs Z's leg and executes a dragon screw legwhip, rolling through to snap Z's leg. Ced follows that up by lifting Z and whipping him to the ropes. Ced drops down to wait for the drop toehold, but Z grabs to ropes to stop his momentum and tags Flesher in. Ced realizes that Z isn't coming and turns to see what happened, only to be met by Flesher dropkicking him in the face.

Flesher rolls Ced to his back and grabs his leg, spinning around into a figure-four leglock. Ced cries out in pain as Flesher cinches in the hold, looking more distressed as Flesher reaches and grabs the ropes for extra leverage. Sexton Hardcastle sees the ropes shaking and looks over just as Flesher releases them and yells "ASK HIM!" Hardcastle turns to ask Ced for the submission and Flesher once again uses the ropes to crank the hold on even harder. Ced screams that he's using the ropes, and this time Flesher can't release the ropes in time, so when Hardcastle sees it he immediately begins counting. Flesher releases at the four-count and then gets to his feet with Ced remaining on the mat.

Axis: Flesher may have done serious damage to Ced's knees with that hold, especially when he was using the ropes for leverage!

King: Hey, it's only cheating if you get caught.

Edwin: So then what your wife's doing with me is nice and legal?

King: If you keep besmirching my wife's name like that I'll....

Edwin: Ah, go besmirch yourself.

Flesher pulls Ced to his feet and spins behind for a released German suplex, sending Ced tumbling into the Flesher/Z corner. Flesher tags Z, then hooks Ced into the tree of woe position. Flesher and Z then nail Ced with consecutive baseball slides to the face, leaving Ced in bad position as Brody finally sees fit to get back on the apron. Z gets back into the ring and unhooks Ced, who tumbles downward and lands on his stomach. Seeing that Ced is more or less unable to defend himself, Z smiles broadly and rolls him onto his back, then traps his hands behind his legs and locks up the Nelbina. As Z runs through his arsenal of poses (including the brand new "Point at Brody and mime a blowjob"), Brody jumps back down to see Melissa again.

Edwin: NELBINA!!!!!!!!!

Edwin stands up and starts to applaud.

Axis: Edwin, it's really nothing special.

Edwin turns around and leads the front row in a "NEL-BI-NA" chant as Axis grumbles into the mic. Z cycles through his poses, and then tags out to Flesher, who promptly jumps onto Ced's back and begins posing as well. he makes sure to make an exaggerated throat-slit pose; he looks very disappointed when he realizes that Brody's not watching. Flesher jumps off Ced and helps him out of the Nelbina position, then opting to nail him with a hard palm thrust to the back of the head and lock up a Boston crab. Z enters the ring and charges to the opposite side, bounces off the ropes and nails Ced with a baseball slide to the face. Flesher releases the crab and stands up. Z pulls Ced to his feet and whips him to the ropes. Flesher gets to the top rope as Z catches the running Ced and executes a rope-drop guillotine but keeps Ced's legs up. Z extends Ced, propped up by his neck and shoulders on the ropes and by his legs held by Z, and Flesher climbs down onto Ced's back. Flesher kneels on Ced's back and flexes as the crowd boos.

Axis: We're certainly seeing a divided crowd here.

King: Divided crowd? What are you talking about? They're booing Flesher like crazy!

Axis: Well, I realize that. It's just that they were cheering for him earlier, and it's quite a contrast.

King: Ah, they hate Flesher, they've always hated Flesher and they always WILL hate Flesher.

Flesher finishes posing and hops off of Ced's back, then tells Z to go back to the corner. Flesher locks up a German suplex on Ced and throws him backwards, holding him for

ONE

TWO

THR- NO! Ced breaks the lock and rolls through! Flesher looks shocked and spins around to go after Ced, but he's met with a defensive kick to the knees. Flesher collapses to the mat, half from the kick to the knees and half from surprise. Ced gets to his feet and gets into a stance, and as Flesher gets back to his feet, Ced nails him with an enzuigiri, putting him back down. Ced covers the stunned Flesher for

ONE

TWO

KICKOUT!!! Flesher kicks out and gets to his feet, only to be met with a back elbow from Ordonez. Flesher takes the brunt of it and is sent stumbling into the corner, where he tags Z. Z bounds into the ring and charges toward Ced, nailing him with the Clothesline From HECK. Z covers him as Hardcastle counts

ONE

TWO

SHOULDER UP by Ced! Z gets up and mounts the second rope, shouts "FUDGE YOU!" and drops an elbow onto Ced for

ONE

TWO

KICKOUT!!!! Flesher is visibly agitated on the sidelines and shouts, "FINE, I'll take care of it!" He climbs to the top and drops a flying headbutt onto Ced, then gets to his feet and spins around to grab Z. He lifts Z into the air and launches him over his head, releasing him to flip through and land on Ced for

ONE

TWO

THRE- NO!!!!! Ced kicks out, sending Z crashing into the corner! Flesher looks even more frustrated, and forcefully slaps Z's hand to tag himself in.

Axis: Look at how angry Tom is! He seems to just want this to be over! Clearly all he wants is to get Brody in the ring, and Brody just won't cooperate.

He pulls the San Jose native to his feet and slams him with a palm blow before lifting him up in position for a vertical suplex. Flesher stalls for a beat or two before dropping down into a brainbuster. Flesher pulls Ced back up with a gutwrench and, again, stalls before he sits down in the Ego Buster. Brody makes an extremely exaggerated yawning motion as Flesher covers Ced. Flesher stares at Brody looking both angry and expectant.

ONE

Brody does nothing.

TWO

Brody flips Flesher off.

THRE- NO!

Axis: He pulled Ced up! That's how bad he wants Brody! He's ignoring an easy pin on a guy who's taken a whole match's worth of beatings! That's how much he hates Shawn Brody!

Flesher gets up disgustedly and tags in Z. Z jumps over the top rope, tripping himself up and crotching himself in the process. Ced takes advantage of the situation. Knowing that Flesher will grab him if he goes for the tag, Ced grabs Z and chops him in the throat ("WHOO!") before pulling him off the ropes. Ced stiffly kicks Z in the ribs, then lifts him to his feet, spins him around and locks up a full nelson. He arches back in a Dragon Suplex, spiking Z on his head and releasing him to roll through. Close to his corner, Ced tags out to Brody. Brody enters the ring and lifts Z to his feet and locks up a double underhook.

Axis: My god... he's going to go for the Descent! He let Ced do all the work and now he's going to piledrive Z for the win!

King: Smart move on Brody's part. He's coming out looking like a rose.

Brody attempts to lift Z, but suddenly doubles over and releases his grip! He falls to the mat curling up like a tiger prawn, victim of.....

Edwin: GALATEA HEADBUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tell ya, this Z is one of the most innovative kids we have in the fed!

Suicide King grunts disapprovingly about "unethical treatment of the testicles" as Brody tries to get back to his feet. Z tags Flesher in, and Tom enters the ring looking determined. Brody gets to his feet and dives toward the corner, reaching to tag in his partner rather than face his angry protege in his injured state. Ced sees it coming and jumps off the apron as the crowd cheers. Brody turns and sees Flesher's Docs flying at him as Flesher executes a baseball slide dropkick, then grabs Brody and starts throwing a flurry of stiff palm blows to the head and neck. Meanwhile, Z gets up in the corner and, as the fans clap along, starts stomping the mat.

Edwin: He's warming up the band!

Axis: What?

Edwin: Did I say 'warming up the band?' I meant 'firing up the panda.'

Axis: ... Oh.

Flesher grapples Brody to the center of the mat and spins him around, just as Z shuffles toward him and nails him with the Blizzard of Oz! Brody's head snaps back with the body to follow, and Flesher catches him. He uses the momentum to take him through, and nails an extreme backdrop driver! Brody flips backwards and lands on his stomach. Flesher drags him back to the center of the mat and pulls Z over, then pushes Z down onto Brody in a kneeling position. Z takes the hint and flexes his biceps... so to speak... as Sexton Hardcastle counts

ONE

TWO

THREE!!!!!!!!!

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funyon: Your winners, the team of "The Superior One" Tom Flesher and Z!!!!!!!!!!!

Flesher grabs his European belt and hoists it high in the air as Z jumps up with joy. Unfortunately, he lands flat on his face after misjudging the angle of the fall. Flesher helps him up, raises both their arms in the air, and the crowd cheers a hard-fought match as we fade.

April 11, 2002

*~*The latest edition of SJL Metal once again returns to the air, the crowd at a fever pitch, yelling and cheering like drunken buffoons in a desperate attempt to get their faces on TV, even if for a fleering moment. The camera scans around the audience quickly before focusing back onto the announce table, where Edwin MacPhisto, Axis and the Suicide King sit, preparing to call the main event of the evening.*~*

Axis: "Welcome back to SJL Metal fans. There's been a show full of great action so far, and we still have one big match to go."

Edwin: "Correct as always my Australian assistant. We've got a tagariffic contest to top off an already splendid show…"

King: "It wasn't splendid, it sucked."

Edwin: "Oh pish-posh King, it's been a super show. Hardcore matches, Find the Breifcase, TV Title matches oh my! But of course the show must go on, and the main event is still to come! Huzzah!"

King: "Yes. Well anyways, the show will end on a high note as the team of Jacob Helmsley and Stryke run all over those pesky X Force 9 brats, defeating Ash Ketchum and Erek Taylor."

Axis: "It should be a very good contest, 4 of the top superstars currently in the JL going at it. You

would have to think the edge would lie with X Force 9 though, both Ash and Erek proving to be a successful team on many occasions in the past, including as recently as last Metal, defeating the team of Stryke and Flexxx."

King: "Bah, they fluked a win. Stryke and Jacob are a superior team."

Edwin: "We'll have to wait and see that. This is the first time Stryke and Jake have been in a ring together, either on the same side or as opponents. Their lack of familiarity could come into play, biting them on the bottom and giving the Poke Freak and the High Flying Prince the advantage."

Axis: "Speaking of familiarity, this is the fourth consecutive match that Ash Ketchum and Stryke have faced each other in. By now they'll no doubt be aware of just about everything in the other's arsenal."

Edwin: "This match should also have an extra dabbling of feeling in it, as the pairings of Ash Ketchum and Jacob Helmsley, as well as Stryke and Erek Taylor have been getting together on several occasions over the past few weeks, and it's only a matter of time before these two rivalries come to a head in a cataclysmic explosion of chaos and calamity."

King: "And when that happens it'll be Jacob Helmsley and Stryke on top, just like it will be tonight."

Edwin: "Well it's only a matter of time until we find out lads and lasses out there in TV land, as the fun is about to begin!"

*~*At ringside Funyon hops up from his seat and move to the ring steps, climbing into the ring, microphone in hand. With the crowd still buzzing in anticipation, Funyon reaches the center of the ring and brings the mic to his mouth, ready to introduce the competitors.*~*

Funyon: "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the main event of the evening! The following contest is a tag match, set for one fall!"

*~*As Funyon announces the match the crowd leaps to attention, all cheering simultaneously that the main event is upon them. The cheers eminate forth, but in one instant they are cut off, and replaced with seething, hate-filled boos as "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit kicks up. The crowd continue to spew malevolence forth as 4 blue fireworks blast up from the stage, before 4 silver fireworks blast up from the same spots a second later. Finally, a huge blue flame of pyro blasts up from the middle of the entranceway, and when the sparks and smoke clears, Strkye is standing on top of the entranceway, his arms out in a crucifix position, his beautiful manager Karen by his side.*~*

Funyon: "Entering first, weighing 207lbs and hailing from Sydney, Australia, STRYKE!!!"

*~*After standing there a moment to absorb the thunderous boos of the crowd, he heads down the ramp and quickly slides into the ring, before making his way to the far ring corner and climbing up, raising his right arm to the fans, resulting in another wave of hatred for the Australian. As the fans boo their hearts out Stryke hops down into the ring, giving a glance to Karen who stops at ringside before preparing for the match*~*

King: "There he is, the Showstopper himself, the next SJL World Champ, mark my words."

Edwin: "I think the current champ Erek Taylor may take issue with that."

King: "I don't care, there's nothing he can do to stop it."

Axis: "Well your boy Stryke hasn't even recorded a victory since returning so far, going 0 from 3. I don't think you can win the World Title by losing."

King: "Quiet convict boy, that's inconsequential.And besides, against Ash on Crimson he deliberately lost, putting Ash on top of him to let Ash and Erek tear each other up first."

Edwin: "A sadistically sinister tactic from Stryke. That whippersnapper certainly seems to operate in mysterious ways."

King: "Ways too complex for your feeble mind Edwin. Stryke is superior, and he'll show it in this match."

*~*As Stryke leans back against the ropes "Meaning of Life" by Disturbed comes over the PA system, and a new volley of boos rivalling the ones Stryke received flow forth from the Pittsburgh fans. As a red glow comes over the entrance Jacob Helmsley comes out onto the stage, steel pipe in hand.*~*

Funyon: "And Stryke's tag team partner, weighing 227lbs from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, JACOB HELMSLEY!!!"

*~*As boos continue to rain down on the psychotic individual Jacob heads down the ramp, ignoring the crowd's hate, before sliding into the ring. Helmsley moves towards Stryke, and the pair shares a few words, before Jacob moves over to the ropes, stretching before the match.*~*

King: "And now the entire winning team is here. Sadistic and psychotic, the two qualities that will lead to victory in this match."

Edwin: "Now now, you know that evil doesn't win out in the end. Those partying pals of X Force 9 will surely give Jacob and Stryke a booty-whipping they won't easily forget."

Axis: "Well we will see in just a moment, as all we need now is for Ash Ketchum and Erek Taylor to make their way out and the match can begin."

As if right on cue, the lights dim and the scratching noises of record discs begin to be heard. Before you know it, the music of "It's Going Down" by The X-ecutioners featuring Linkin Park begins to play, as the crowd's boos turn into massive cheers of joy. The lights perform a show that goes along with the music while the Smarkstron begin to air many clips of the many XF9ers. The camera focuses on the entrance, and catches the visages of Ash Ketchum along with his ever so lovely girl Misty, and current JL World Champ Erek Taylor the packed Mellon Arena literally exploding into a huge ovation as their favourite pair of JL stars step out to onto the stage.

Funyon: "Now entering the arena, being accomapied by Misty… weighing a combined 470lbs, the team of ASH KETCHUM and the JL World Champion Erek Taylor, X FORCE 9!!!"

*~*Ash and Erek head down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans at ringside while the crowd continues to cheer their hearts out for the XF9'ers. After absorbing the lime light they both immediately focus on their opponents, particularly Ash staring at Jacob Helmsley and Erek watching Stryke, also keeping his eye on Karen at ringside. Erek hops up on the apron at his corner, and Ash tosses his shirt into the nearby section of the crowd, resulting in a mini-melee as the excited Poke fans desperately try to get their hands on some authentic Ash merchandise. As Ash hops up to his corner the referee orders one of Stryke and Jacob to get out of the ring onto the apron as well, and it's Jacob that obliges, leaving Stryke to start the match.*~*

Axis: "All 4 participants are here, so the fireworks should start any second."

Edwin: "I like fireworks, all the colors of the rainbow. Another thing I like is fabulous grabulous zip zoop zabulous wrestling action, and this match should provide spades full of it."

*~*As Stryke stands prepared for one of his opponents, both Erek and Ash start a game of scissors, paper, rock to decide who will start the match. As both men try to win a chuckle goes up from the fans, obviously liking their larrikin attitudes. But one man in the ring isn't impressed with their little fun and games, and that's Stryke. Stryke immediately moves forward towards the X Force 9 corner, getting them to stop and get on with the match, much to the displeasure of all the Pennsylvanians packing the Mellon Arena.*~*

Edwin: "That Stryke's a party pooper, ruining X Force 9's fun."

King: "Bah, this isn't the time for gun and games, it's a wrestling match. It's serious, we

want fighting, not birthday cakes and hide and seek. There's just delaying the inevitable ass-kicking Jacob Helmsley and the next JL World Champ Stryke will give them."

*~*The referee forces Stryke to get back, but Stryke still calls out and motions for Erek Taylor to get into the ring. Erek goes to get in there, putting his leg through the ropes, but Ash stops him, and instead volunteers to take on Stryke himself. Erek steps back and Ash gets into the ring, much to the joy of the Pittsburgh faithful.*~*

Axis: "It seems Ash wants to get a go at Stryke first. After facing each other 3 consecutive times before this match there's definitely some feeling between the two."

*~*Ash is in the ring and motions for Stryke to come at him, the crowd cheering the coming collision. Stryke goes to charge at the Poke Freak, but just before he does a hand slaps his own. Stryke turns and sees Jacob Helmsley.*~*

Edwin: "Looks like Jacob just tagged himself in! I guess the psychotic pipe weilder wants to start out with Ash himself."

Axis: "With the two rivalries present in this tag match, Erek and Stryke, as well as Jacob and Ash, this should be quite a emotion-filled match."

With Jacob entering the match Stryke goes back to his corner, and the referee calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!

*~*A cheer goes up as the bell rings, and Ash and Jacob move together in the ring. They share a few taunts and insults, before immediately getting on with business, locking up in the middle of the ring. Both men jostle back and forth for position, but Ash, using his slight height and weight advantage is able to get the leverage, forcing Jacob back towards the ring corner. Ash forces his opponent back near to the corner, but just before Ash can get Jacob back into the turnbuckle Jacob manages to turn Ash around, forcing Ash into the corner instead. Jacob breaks the hold and begins to deliver a series of punches to Ash, each shot connecting with the head of Ash drawing louder and louder boos. Jacob launches another punch, but Ash is able to raise his arm and block the move, before hitting a kick to the mid-section, forcing Jacob off him. Ash grabs Jacob and attempts to whip him across the ring to the opposite corner, but Jacob holds on, and with all his might sends Ash swinging back into the turnbuckle they just came out of, Ash smacking his back into the turnbuckle, the Poke Freak arching his back in pain before dropping back into the corner.*~*

Edwin: "Some back and forth action to start, but its Jake on top right now, giving Ash one hell of a back-ache with that whip into the turnbuckle."

*~*With Ash prone in the corner, Jacob takes a few steps towards the middle of the ring before charging back at Ash Ketchum at full pelt, leaning down and looking to gore Ash Ketchum into the turnbuckle. The gore hits with a tremendous, but the problem for Jacob is that Ash dodged out of the way, and the tremendous impact was Jacob's shoulder hitting the turnbuckle! A huge cheer goes up as Jake stumbles back, dazed from the impact, and Ash takes full advantage, getting behind Jacob and locking in a half-nelson. Jacob tries to fight out, but it's to no-avail as Ash lifts Jacob over, crashing him head first into the mat with a Half-Nelson Suplex. A large pop comes up from the Pittsburgh fans, and Ash spins around, hooking the far leg and making a cover. The referee gets in position and counts the pin.*~*

ONE…

TWO…

T… No, Stryke jumps in between the ropes and kicks Ash in the head to a hefty round of boos, breaking up the pin before retreating back to the corner.

Edwin: "Ash rattled Jacob's brains with that suplex, but Stryke came in and broke up the pin."

Axis: "With Stryke lurking on the apron it'll be hard to score a pinfall here, as he'll no doubt interfere every chance he gets. And there's Karen too, and as we've seen she's not adverse to getting involved."

King: "It's a smart strategy, X Force 9 will have to work hard to get a pin here, and that's just the way it should be."

*~*Ash gets himself to his feet, and gives a glance at Stryke, who is of course professing innocence to the referee. Ash pulls Jacob up off the mat, hits a pair of quick jabs to the jaw to ensure Jacob's stunned, before whipping him into the side ring ropes. Jacob rebounds off the ropes, and Ash catches him, lifting him up for his Irish Whip Powerslam. Ash gets Jacob ¾ of the way up, but Helmsley is able to push off and slip off the side of Ash, escaping the maneuver. Jacob nails a kick to the mid-section, doubling Ash over, allowing Jacob to catch Ash in position for a Northern Lights Suplex. Jacob gets Ash hooked and lifts him over, crashing Ash into the mat, resulting in more strong boos. Jacob holds onto the bridge for a pin, the referee circling into position and counting the pin.*~*

ONE…

TWO…

THR… No, Ash Ketchum has enough left to kick his legs out, getting his shoulders off the mat and stopping the count.

Axis: "Jacob escaped the powerslam and in a good reversal moved into the Northern Lights Suplex, but at this early stage of the match it'll take more than that to win, especially with a still fresh Erek Taylor and Stryke on the sidelines.

King: "Jacob showing his dominance over the poke moron, his proficiency in the ring will be too much too much for Ash, mark my words."

Edwin: "Well don't speak too soon King, both Ash and Erek have showed their tremendous fighting spirit in the past, and I don't think those two lads will give up without one humdinger of a fight here tonight."

King: "Well I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we."

Edwin: "Yes we will."

King: "Alright."

Edwin: "Ok then."

King: "Fine."

Axis: "Calm down the pair of you, and watch the match."

*~*Jacob rolls off Ash and gets to his feet, slowly bringing the Poke Freak up with him. With a look of frustration early on in the match, Jacob walks over to his corner, and tags in the waiting Stryke, so a not so rowdy ovation from the crowd. Stryke steps into the ring under the ropes, immediately seeing the open chest of Ash exposed, as Jacob stands behind him pulling the arm back. With a look of anger, Stryke jabs his fist into the open chest three times before the referee gets into it, and sends Jacob outside. Jacob gruffs at the referee, giving him a little fright, as the Psycho steps out of the ring, and onto the apron letting Stryke do his thing on Ash.*~*

Axis: "There's the first tag of the match… Stryke, the fresh man is in for the underdog team."

King: "Now wait a minute Axis… if anyone is the underdog in this match, it's Ash and Erek. Even if that stupid Flying Freak is the World Champion, Ash and Erek are at more of a disadvantage than Jacob and Stryke are…"

Edwin: "I beg to differ my WF friend…"

King: "Oh shut up… who asked you anyway."

*~*As the two at ringside continue to argue and complain back and forth, In the ring Stryke knocks Ash to the mat with a high heel kick to the upper chest and begins to slowly stalk the Poke Freak, as crowds in the Mellon arena show their disapproval. Taunting the man like no other, Stryke slowly wanders around the Fallen Ketchum, kicking him to the mat every time that he struggles to reach his knees. In the X Force Nine corner, Erek Taylor begins to yell at Stryke with a definate tone of anger in his voice. Stryke looks over at Erek, and gives him the one-finger salute to a huge ovation of boos from the crowd, and a rage of fury in reaction to the finger from the High Flying Prince.*~*

Edwin: "Now that was uncalled for!"

King: *~*laughing*~* "Yeah, I know… but it was great!"

*~*As the always hated Suicide King bellows with laughter at the announce table Ash Ketchum is struggling to get to his feet as Stryke continues to taunt Erek Taylor, who is fighting himself to try not to get into the ring. With the referee paying close attention to Erek, Jacob slips into the ring unnoticed, and plants Ash Ketchum back on the mat with a quick Evenflow DDT to a standing ovation of boos and taunts from the crowd. With that final straw, Erek Taylor bolts into the ring, and attempts to go after Stryke, but is almost immediately cut off by the referee, who puts his entire weight into keeping the Prince back from Stryke. As Erek is batting with the referee to get free, Stryke quickly turns around, and drops his hand onto the throat of Ash, choking the life out of the slightly larger man, as crowds still continue to exhaust their windpipes booing their heads off at the actions of the two heels in the ring.*~*

Edwin: "This is just becoming a Handicapped match here… Ash and Erek are getting cheated out of this thing!"

Axis: "This is not fair in the LEAST!"

King: "Oh you two… quit being to melodramatic… it's not that big of a deal… Ash and Erek are just getting what was coming to them."

Edwin: "And how is that?! Explain it to me!"

*~*Edwin and King continue to bicker at Ringside, as in the ring, Jacob Helmsley gets into the ring and joines his partner Stryke in attacking Ash Ketchum. The two pick Ash up to his feet, and throws him into the ropes across the ring. Coming back, Jacob and Stryke attempt to pick ash up into a double side slam, but the resilliant Poke Freak extends both of his amrs, and clotheslines the two men to the floor, changing the incredible pops of boos into deafening shrills of cheers.*~*

Axis: "What a reversal by Ash! He needs to make a tag into the almost frantic Erek Taylor in his corner!"

*~*As the great Australian called it, in his corner Erek Taylor bounces off of the apron in exitement, as in the ring, Jacob Helmsley rolls out of the ring leaving Stryke alone while he thrives in pain from the impact. Dragging and Clawing himself to the corner, each inch Ash advances brings the crowd to their feet more and more. Finally, in one swift extension, Ash Ketchum lunges at his awaiting partner, Erek Taylor and connects, making the tag to a HUGE pop from the crowd. Erek Taylor bursts through the ropes and into the ring with a large amount of enthusiasm, as he charges at the now upright Stryke.*~*

Edwin: "Taylor is in! The High Flying World Champion has been tagged in!"

Axis: "The crowd is going crazy!"

King: "It'll only be a matter of time until their asses are back in their seats…"

*~*With a great deal of momentum behind him, Erek Taylor connects his arm with the chest of Stryke for a clothesline, knocking him to his back. Stryke gets up again almost immediately, only to be struck again by the energetic Prince. One more time, Erek Taylor strikes Stryke as he gets to his feet, but this time, as he approaches the Turnbuckle, the awaiting Jacob Helmsley who perched himself on the top turnbuckle in the confusion, leaps off and nails Erek Taylor with the "Corkscrew," a move that has not been seen for the longest time in the JL.*~*

King: "YEAH! That's what I'm TALKING about!"

*~*Stryke rolls on top of the Prince for the pin, but is almost immediately kicked out of by the fresh Taylor, to an incredible pop from the crowd. Jacob gets ushered out of the ring by the referee, as on the opposite side, Ash Ketchum gets up onto his side of the apron. In the ring, Erek Taylor gets up to his feet, and picks up the battered Stryke onto his feet. Erek whips Stryke into the ropes, and hits a Hurricanradda on him, holding the pin. Jacob bolts into the ring, and breaks up the pin, as on the other side, Ash Ketchum gets into the ring and rushes at Jacob. Jacob and Ash intercept, and battle themselves to the outside of the ring, to an incredible pop from the crowd.*~*

Edwin: "They are fighting on the outside now! This is getting out of hand!"

*~*In the ring, Stryke and Erek Taylor get to their feet, and see that their allies are battling it out on the outside. They turn to each other, and start exchanging blows that rock each person as they hit. Finally, after they exchange 4 blows each, Stryke begins to get the upper hand, hitting Taylor three times in a row, and then throwing him mercilessly into the turnbuckle. Erek makes contact with the turnbuckle very violently making the Prince's back bounce off of the turnbuckle, throwing him back into the ring face first on the mat. Erek clutches his back in pain, as a sickening thud of a pipe on the outside draws the attention of the camera, just in time to see Jacob standing over the now limp body of Ash Ketchum, as he slumps to the mat after the pipe shot. Throughout the arena, boos bast out, as Jacob looks out at the crowd with a sadistic look.*~*

King: "Well, there goes the Mid-card King for a while… It don't look like he's going to get up very quickly after that shot…"

Edwin: "Ash is not moving! That was a sick shot by the sick man holding the pipe…"

King: "And you would expect any less from Jacob?"

*~*In the ring, Stryke looks down at his psychotic partner, as Jacob looks back up at Stryke. Their two eyes meet and don't move a single inch, as the two stare deeply into each other's eyes. Over in the corner, Erek Taylor is struggling to get to his feet, with a visible ammount of sweat flowing down his chest. All of the sudden, Misty, Ash Ketchum's girl, breaks out from the back and runs down to the side of her man after the horrendous pipe shot from Jacob. Jacob just watches her pass, and kneel down next to Ash, as in the ring, Erek Taylor bursts to his feet, runs towards the unsuspecting Stryke, tackles him, and begins to punch away at his jaw with an enormous amount of fury in his punches. With the crowd rallying behind him, Erek continues to throw fist after fist of punches into Stryke's face, until there is a stream of blood starting to come out from under his lip. The crowd roars in approval of the blood, while surprisingly, Jacob just stands outside and watches.*~*

Axis: "Stryke is getting his head punched into the mat from Erek Taylor!"

Edwin: "Yeah… and Jacob is just standing by and watching it all go down…"

Axis: "Some team you got there King…"

King: "Jacob feels no need to help out Stryke unless he is in a pinning predicament… that's a pretty good strategy…"

Axis: "Yeah… sure…"

*~*Slowly, Jacob rises up to the ring apron, as Erek Taylor is getting pleaded with the referee to get off of Stryke. Erek finally agrees, and stops punching Stryke, and gets off of him, leaving Stryke rolling on the ground in a bloody mess. All of the sudden, from behind Jacob comes into the ring, flips Erek around to face him, kicks him in the midsection doubling him over, and sticks Erek's head in between Jacob's legs to an impressive round of boos from the capacity crowd in attendance.*~*

Axis: "Oh god… I guess it's time for the Revenge from Jacob…"

King: "You d*mn right it is!"

*~*Much to the surprise of Stryke, the referee, the crowd in attendance, and the announcers themselves, Jacob picks the prone High Flying Prince up into a powerbomb position, but lets him dangle upside down with his head pointed to the floor.*~*

Edwin: "Ha! Jacob can't even lift Erek up to do a powerbomb!"

King: [snickering] "Heh… foolish Edwin… that's not what he's trying to do…"

Axis: "uuh… then what is he trying to do?"

King: "Just watch and see…"

*~*After stalling for several seconds, Erek begins to fight back, arching his neck up to face Jacob. In the perfect position, Erek Taylor wraps his legs around Jacob's head, and begins to choke him to a roar of approval, when all of the sudden, Jacob Leans forward, and drops Erek down vertically upon the back of his neck, crushing the smaller man up like an accordian. Erek Taylor convulses on the mat a little, before falling completely limp, to an enormous ovation of boos from the crowd. Jacob just arrogantly drops down on Taylor for the pin.*~*

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

*~*NOOO!!!! At the very last second, Erek Taylor bolts his seemingly limp arm in the air, to a pop that not even Mick Foley could overtake in his return! The entire arena explodes into a deafening cry of cheers, as Jacob and Stryke both stare at each other in disbeleif. Jaocb gets up to his feet, as Stryke walks over to the almost limp Erek Taylor, while verbally bashing Jacob for not getting the job done.*~*

Axis: "EREK TAYLOR KICKED OUT!!!!"

Edwin: "GOOD LORD!"

King: "What?! How did he kick out of a move like that?!"

*~*As Stryke picks Erek taylor up to his feet, Jacob looks over at the standing man with an extreme look of anger in his face. All of the sudden, as Stryke is in the middle of picking Erek up, Jacob whips the man around making him drop Erek to the floor, kicks Stryke in the midsection, and hits the "Revenge" (Finisher- Stalling Pedigree) on Stryke, to a moderately loud cheer from the crowd.*~*

King: "WHAT THE H*LL WAS THAT?!"

Axis: "Your team has just dissolved!!"

*~*Looking down on the fallen man, Jacob just gruffs at him, and gets out of the ring while Erek Taylor, barely knowing what is going on, flops his almost limp body upon the lifeless form that once was Stryke. The Entire arena counts along with the Referee, as he counts the pin on Stryke.*~*

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

Axis: "THAT"S IT!!!"

Edwin: "EREK AND ASH HAVE COME OUT ON TOP!!!"

King: "THAT DAMN JACOB!!! HE SCREWED STRYKE OVER!!!"

*~*The Entire arena blows up with approval, as the referee lifts up the limp arm of the high flying prince, and drapes the world title over his body. Outside the ring, Jacob has moved his way over to Misty, who is still tending to her Ash. With a sadistic look in his eyes, Jacob comes up right behind Misty, looking down upon her lovely body as if he is possessed by her beauty.*~*

Axis: "Wait a minute… What is Jacob doing over there…"

Edwin: "Misty better get out of there…"

*~*All of the sudden, Jacob reaches down and grabs a fistful of hair, and drags Misty up to her feet, as she screams out in terror. With a look of complete satisfaction in his eyes, Jacob drags misty along behind him, as the crowds at ringside explode into boos. Up the ramp they go, Jacob dragging Misty behind her with a fistful of hair of the lovely, screaming woman. Fighting back with all of her might, Misty hits away at Jacob's massive arm holding her hair, but to no avail. At ringside, Ash Ketchum begins to get to his feet, realizing what is going on up the ramp. With a scared look in his eyes, Ketchum gets to his feet, and stumbles his way up the ramp, following Jacob and Misty, while the crowd behind him is booing their heads off at Jacob.*~*

Axis: "NO!!! don't tell me that Jacob is staling Misty from Ketchum!"

Edwin: "This is sick! Jacob already had a girl! What does he need with Misty?"

King: "…Damn Jacob…"

*~*The Camera following Ash goes as far as the curtain, until it cuts off, showing a panned shot of the arena, which is now emptying out, still with lingering boos from the crowds.*~*

Axis: "Well folks… we will follow this story until it's end… I am getting word that Ash is pursuing Jacob in the back, and we will try to get a camera back there as soon as we can."

Edwin: "There is going to be hell to pay if Jacob gets away with Misty… Ash is not one that lets things like that go unpunished…"

King: "What? Screw Misty! He cost Stryke the match! If anyone, Stryke is going to make him pay! That little shit hit the Revenge on Stryke and practically LET Erek pick up the Easy win!"

Axis: "Well… I am getting word that we have a camera on the scene… so let's go back there and see what's going on…"

*~*Cameras switch to the back of the arena, where a waiting car is seen with the trunk open. A lound burst of screams is heard, as the camera moves over to see Jacob, who is dragging behind him Misty, who is still trying to get out of the Psycho's grip. Jacob drags the poor, helpless girl over to the parked car. Jacob the pulls Misty right up to his face, and yells something to her.*~*

Jacob: "Misty… I know that Ash loves you dearly… and I know that he will give anything to let you go… so GET IN!"

*~*With a forceful shove, Jacob pushes the poor girl into the trunk, and closes it, as she begins to bang on the top. All of the sudden, from the back we hear the furious voice of Ash echo off to the garage.*~*

Ash: "MISTY!!! JACOB!!! GET BACK HERE WITH MY GIRL!!!!"

*~*With a sadistic smile, Jacob hops into the front seat of the car, starts it up, and begins to drive away, as Ash breaks out in a dead run to the vehicle. Jacob drives the car off up the ramp, and into the cool Pittsburgh night, as Ash stops next to the camera, and yells out to Jacob in the car, as the SJL Logo appears in the bottom of the screen.*~*

Ash: "JACOB!!! MARK MY WORDS… YOU WILL PAY!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!! YOU WILL PAY!!!!"

April 11, 2002

Show summary!

We open the show up with Stryke and Karen arriving on the scene, up to no good as usual...

...and shortly thereafter, Tod deKindes gets his first big win here in the JL, clevelry defeating The Dark Reaper on a count-out!

The World Champion, Erek Taylor, comes out to deliver some speechifications, but it soon turns into a battle of words between he, Stryke, and Ash Ketchum. A world title match is set up for Crimson, but you'll have to read to see what it is...and similarly so, a surprising fourth party gets involved and lays out a challenge for next week's Metal! Read it! Great promo!

TNT explooooooodes! with a wicked hardcore win over Cutthroat and Jack the Ripper, and something seems to be forming between Deathwish and Taylor Thompson. From now on, if anyone bitches about the card not being up, or their not being markers on the card, or anything, and then DOESN'T SEND IN A MATCH, their ass will be fried in Thugg's frying pan of justice. And then he'll eat you. Cause he's big.

Matt Myers/Poisyn makes a successful return, finding the briefcase before Randy Turner and finally learning how to spell his own name properly. Yet Randy doesn't seem to be the one Poisyn was looking for...and you will never forget the name of...eeeeeee....Pooooiiisssssssssssyn! Sorry, always wanted to do that...

Brody's paying poor Ced a visit...

PORTERHOUSE RAGE! The ultimate jobber, T-Bone, holds on to his TV belt! Damn, he got good while he was gone!

Andrew Rickmen, the Insane Luchador, makes a surprise return to in-ring action tonight, decimating Danny Williams until Deathwish turns the tables and clobbers the New Plague down! IL is definitely back in force, though, and he's crazy as hell...

A mysterious stranger looks down from the rafters...when the hell did I give Steve Borden a contract? Meh.

Mafia uses some snappy technical wrestling and a clever cradle to outwit and outfight Mike Van Siclen in an impressive upper-card victory for the paranoid hitman.

Shawn Brody finds a partner in Ced Ordonez, but the T&Z Connection overcomes, despite Z continuing to fall over and mess step up! Battle lines are being drawn very interestingly here...

...and onto the MAIN EVENT! XF9 wins after Jake beats the crap out of Stryke and captures Misty, but it's Jake and Stryke's match, and it's absolutely wonderful. Every man comes out of this match looking great, with their characters clearly defined, two killer feuds set in stone and amplified, and the two heels becoming very distinguished: Jake and Stryke are very different kinds of heels, as you'll see if you take the time to read this match, and having two distinct evil personalites at the top makes a great balance for the forces of good. My hat is off to the both of you for writing one of the most main-event feeling main events I've seen in a while.

And hey, Stryke. YOU'RE ALLOWED TO WRITE YOURSELF AS THE WINNER IF YOU WANT TO! Heh. But seriously, the internal storyline in this match is great, and the ending was perfect. If I had more hats, I'd take them off.

Card to come in the morning. I don't think any of you are awake now. You have about 7 hours to hit me with any last-minute booking requests.

SJL Metal - Wednesday, April 10th

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