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Mystery Eskimo

OAOAST IntenseZone - 1/20/04

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RATM's "Guerilla Radio" kicks up, and we go into the usual opening montage of action shots- PRL with a flying elbow, Shuffle dancing, Dan Black scowling- but suddenly the tape stops, the music stops, and we cut to Dan Black, sitting in silence behind his desk.

 

Dan stares at the camera for a moment, before standing up and pushing his computer monitor off the desk violently! It crashes to the floor with a BANG and fizzes.

 

BLACK

Damn you! You son of a-

 

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

 

We cut to pyro in the nick of time! Lights, camera, action- well, Jim Ross.

 

hid_ross.jpg

 

JR

Good evening everybody, and welcome to IntenseZone! Let's get straight to it- Dan Black has just received some very bad news- and we can take you back to what occured just moments before we came on air! Take a look at this exclusive footage!

 

The face of Jim Ross vanishes...

 

"So, Dan, here I am."

 

We fade in on the office of Dan Black, where Calvin grins sadistically, sa Dan sits in his chair, obviously a bit tired.

 

"And here you are, after losing to SpiderPoet and putting on some of the worst television ever over the past couple of weeks. And here I am, back again, and I'm supposed to want to appear on your show?"

 

Dan looks up at Calvin.

 

"You're contractually obligated to, Calvin."

 

"Ah ah ah, Dan," Calvin tuts, grinning. "I made sure there was a loophole in my contract pertaining to 'shitty television', and you sir have put on such terrible programming that I have flexed my contractual muscle."

 

Dan glares at Calvin as the Champ continues.

 

"You see, Dan, if the Board decries that one show is significantly weaker than the other, then the Champ is allowed to stop appearing on that show. And if you'll remember correctly, that little board meeting you skipped two weeks ago?"

 

Calvin grins sadistically.

 

"That was the meaning where Calvin Szechstein, OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, was allowed to cease booking himself on IntenseZone. Guess what, Danny baby? Your show, already God-awful, just got even worse, as the last saving grace is gone. I really hope you can find a way to get me back, Dan... but until you can, I'm done here."

 

Calvin laughs at Black, who stands up menacingly -- stopping the laughter of Szechstein, who simply backs away.

 

"Ah ah ah, Dan," Calvin tuts again. "I'm through here... just let me leave in peace."

 

Calvin turns around, walking out the door as we fade to commercial...

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JR

Welcome back...and what a way to start the show, as OAOAST World Champion Calvin Szechstein has just dropped a bombshell on Dan Black- and the whole of IntenseZone! Backstage everyone is shocked by this development. We here on IZ must admit that ratings have fallen below expectations in recent weeks- but can we allow Calvin to get away with this? I'm sure we'll learn Dan Black's feelings a little later. And don't forget, he has a match against SpiderPoet this weekend at AnglePalooza- plus Stephen Joseph last week announced a House of Mirrors match against Dan for Anglemania III!

 

Phew- enough yacking from me! Let's go over to the dancing star of IZ- DA SHUFFLE~!

 

We cut, and a camera moves past Shuffle backstage. He's just walked out of Dan Black's office.

 

Shuffle motions to the camera, and asks somebody off camera for a mic. The camera pulls in tight on his face.

 

Shuffle:

 

PRL!! Are you watching this? You'd better be, because I've got some bad news for you. See, I just got out of Dan Black's office, and he's told me that our match at Anglepalooza will be a HARDCORE Match. See, Dan thinks that that's a great idea, because Dan doesn't like me much, and it means that the Lightening Crew can run in whenever they want and then I'll be wrestling 1 on 17. Dan thinks he's pretty clever, he thinks he's just screwed me out of the North American title...

 

Dan. Thought. Wrong.

 

See, a Hardcore match means that you can't be DQ-ed because of interference. It means when you're losing, you can't keep your title by trying to cheat. See, anybody who's ever wrestled you knows that it's only a matter of time until some cat with a silly name runs in and tries to give old PRL the advantage. I'd pretty much assumed that was going to happen anyway. Now I know that when it does, I'll still have that shot at the title. See, I'm not scared of PRL, I'm not scared of the Lightening Crew. The only thing I was worried about was that PRL would use some underhanded tactic to run out with the title still around his waist.

 

What I know now is that anything goes. So not only will PRL not be able to use a DQ to keep his belt, I'll be able to use any thing I can to win this match. I've always stayed within the rules that were laid out before me, but now, I can use my full repertoire. See, you all know me as a fun-loving dancing guy. What you don't know is that hitting somebody in the face with a chair is PRETTY DAMN FUN!!. Hell, busting somebody in the grill with a two-by-four is a high quality way to spend a half hour. You think I like dancing? Well it's a lot more fun to dance on somebody after you've just Shuffle Bombed them through a table~!

 

I'm sure everybody thinks this is pretty cocky talk from a guy who hasn't done anything in OAOAST. I'm sure you're saying "But Shuffle, your neck has been hurt for the past month- and haven't taken any time off to let it heal." Well, all those things are true. I don't deny that I'm the underdog in this match. PRL might be a bastard, but he's a bastard with some skills. Yet still I remain confident. I know that at the end of the day, I've got something that PRL doesn't have. I know that I haven't cheated my way to get to where I'm at. Everything I've got I owe to hard word, strong will and a big heart. I know that in the end, it's that heart, it's that will, it's that drive and determination that will allow me to shake off whatever PRL can throw at me and leave Anglepalooza with the title belt on my shoulder."

 

We cut back to the annouce table.

 

JR

Fighting words from Shuffle! The NA title match this weekend will be NO DQ! Its going to be crazy, and you dont want to miss it!

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::The screen turns into shades of red, blue, and orange. The Lightning Crew logo appears on the bottom of the screen with Lightning Crew.com underneath. In scratchy white letters read these words, narrated by a man with a scratchy high whisper: “THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE LIGHTNING CREW”::

 

::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins to play. Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, and Thomas Rodriguez all stand in front of a white sheet, which shows the Lightning Crew logo, and clips of Puerto Rican Lightning. The screen is still covered in shades of red, blue, and orange. The three guys are all wearing white Lightning Crew t-shirts, sunglasses, gold chains, black boots, and black jeans. They are all smiling evilly as they speak.::

 

Vitamin X:

Aw yeah. This here is the Lightning Crew, and we got an announcement to make.

 

Cuban Wall:

That’s right. The Lightning Crew is not all about kicking ass and taking names.

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

True, we are also into selling our merchandise.

 

::The three guys hold up the official Lightning Crew t-shirt. The camera changes angles, and fades in and out, as the three speak.::

 

Vitamin X:

Get your very own Lightning Crew T-Shirt! It’s 100% contact and it’s the best.

 

Cuban Wall:

The Lightning Crew is the future of professional wrestling. So jump on the bandwagon right now and join the revolution.

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

That’s right, Wall. We are in control and no one can stop us. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

Cuban Wall:

Boo-Yah!

 

Vitamin X:

Don’t say Boo-Yah! That’s my catchphrase. Just don’t.

 

Cuban Wall:

Screw you!

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

Stop acting like a bunch of babies and buy the shirt.

 

Cuban Wall:

Just buy the shirt!

 

Vitamin X:

BUY THE SHIRT! BUY THE SHIRT!

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

YEAH! BUY IT! BUY THE SHIRT! HAHAAHA!

 

::The camera cuts to a screen filled with information on how to get the Lightning Crew T-Shirt. The blue, red, and orange shading continues. The order information is in a scratchy font. The LC logo appears on the upper left hand corner of the screen. The background is the Lightning Crew logo shown from different angles. The Lightning Crew t-shirt is shown on the right side of the screen. The same narrator with the scratchy whisper voice narrates the information with Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Thomas Rodriguez still yelling “BUY THE SHIRT!” still speaking during the narration.::

 

::The camera cuts to back to Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, and Thomas Rodriguez. “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd comes to an end as the three Lightning Crew members finish their speech.::

 

Vitamin X:

So, if you haven’t already, what are you ready for? BUY THE SHIRT!

 

Cuban Wall:

And remember.

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

We are the Lightning Crew.

 

Vitamin X:

Lightning Crew 4-Life, yo! HAHAHA!

 

Cuban Wall:

Word to your mother.

 

Vitamin X:

Dude, stop that. That is NOT cool.

 

Cuban Wall:

Bite me! I’m not into all the “Hip” lingo.

 

Vitamin X:

You suck.

 

Cuban Wall:

I can kick your ass if you want!

 

Vitamin X:

Bring it tough guy! Come on!

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

Guys, stop it now.

 

::Cuban Wall and Vitamin X look at each other. They smile then hug.::

 

Vitamin X:

Aw, come here you big lug.

 

Cuban Wall:

We cool?

 

Vitamin X:

Yeah.

 

Cuban Wall:

Wanna go kick somebody’s ass for no reason?

 

Vitamin X:

HA! Now you’re talking! HAHAHA!

 

::The same screen shown at the beginning of the commercial appears again. The Lightning Crew logo appears at the bottom of the screen along with Lightning Crew.Com on the bottom. In scratchy white letters, read these words, narrated by the same man with the high, scratchy whisper voice: “THE PRECEEDING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE LIGHTNING CREW.”

 

::FADE OUT::

 

::COMMERCIALS::

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Jailbait walks through the gates of the OaOast arena for the first time in months. The crowd is less than apathetic to the inconsistent stars arrival. He arrives with several black suited individuals with oily black hair.

 

Their gold chains nearly blind the cameraman, who takes a step back to get a good wide shot. There seems to be ten men standing behind Jailbait as he walks towards the ring.

 

Black Suited Man: “All right kid, you know what’s up. You know what to do and times ticking away. We’ll see you around (laughs along with the others as they all walk out of the arena).

 

Jailbait takes a sigh of relief. He begins to pound against the concrete wall in frustration, but why?

 

 

:: “How I Could Just Kill A Man” hits and Jailbait makes his way out to the ring. The crowd sits on their thumbs, with no sign of excitement or spark. Jailbait climbs into the ring and grabs a mic. ::

 

“Umm, it’s been a tough year ya’ know? (Climbs atop the far turnbuckle and takes seat). First, my one shot at the big time is shattered when I get busted up by some 500 pound walking gorilla. Then, I’m sent to jail after losing to that no good bastard Dan Black (crowd cheers mildly). Then, I get put on the shelf with an injury. Not a good year in the life of this essa.”

 

:: Jailbait stares into the crowd who are chanting “shut up and wrestle!” ::

 

“Yeah, I wish I could. I wish I could entertain you guys. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But, things get into the way and you get lost. I was lost. Along my broken track, I landed into the wrong crowd. Now, I’m in more trouble than I could ever imagine.”

 

:: The fans still chant “Jailbait sucks” and “Get out of the ring.” ::

 

“I owe a big sum of money to these guys back home from New York (Rubs skull in a frustrated manner). The legal fees, medical bills, and providing for my family all costed me. I wasn’t able to get into the ring much, so I had to steal. I had to borrow, I had to resort to depths that I didn’t want to go.”

 

:: Fan yells “GAY!” ::

 

“ If I don’t make over 2.5 million dollars in just under 3 months, the boys back home said their going to take the…….they said they were gonna’ take my kids. My little 3 year old boys! I entered the Rumble at Anglepalooza for one reason: To win and go on to win the OaOast world title. I need to win that title. The Main Event of Anglemania means a big paycheck. That’s what I need, that’s the only thing that will save my boy’s life.”

 

:: Crowd still sits silent.::

 

“ So this Sunday isn’t just a waste of a night. I’m not going out there for personal glory. I’m not fighting for the personal accomplishment of carrying a belt around with me. I need to pay that money back, or my family ceases to exist. That’s it. I MUST throw all 20 other OaOast wrestlers over the top rope and win this battle royal. If I don’t, it’s over, it’s all over.”

 

:: Jailbait climbs out of the ring to boos mixed with cheers. The crowd still sits lethargic.

 

::Cut to the backstage area. Puerto Rican Lightning appears and is walking to an unmarked door. The crowd boos the moment he is shown. "P.R. SUCKS!" chants begin. PRL looks around and opens the door. The room is dark. The only light is coming from a movie projector that is showing violent and disturbing images on it. There is a man watching the footage. He is shaking and screaming. He is tied to a chair and is being forced to watch the footage by having his eyes held open by a machine. PRL walks up to the man, who the camera only shows the back of. PRL smiles evilly.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

I think you have had enough. The mental programming is complete. You are ready. It is time. It is time to introduce you to the world. Future generations may damn me, but YOU ARE MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT! YOU ARE MY CREATION! You are now ready to infect the OaOasT. The Lightning Crew will never be forgotten, and people will always remember the name of PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

 

::PRL unties the man. The man gets up and yells. The camera still shows the back of the man as PRL continues speaking.::

 

PRL:

It is time. It is time for you to be unleashed! You will show the world just how powerful you can be. You are the PERFECT wrestler. The man every LC member should be! Are you ready?

 

::The man grunts::

 

PRL:

Then lets go! Here we go!

 

::PRL and the man leave the room. The movie projector is still playing the disturbing images. The camera zooms in the footage of bloody bodies, decaptitated heads, starving children, and people with physical diseases. The camera fades to black.::

Edited by Mystery Eskimo

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::The Lightning Crew logo appears on screen. “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd plays in the background. Footage of the Lightning Crew, specifically Puerto Rican Lightning plays in the background, as The L.A. Phantom spray-painted silhouette appears shows up on screen. With the figure’s right arm raised, the sound of a spray-paint can is heard as, on the body of the silhouette, the words: Lightning Crew BATTLE OF SAN JUAN appears. The paint drips off the words as another piece of machinery plops the words underneath the L.A. Phantom. Big red, neon letters shine on and off. The words read: “OAOAST INTENSEZONE LIVE FROM SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING’S HOME! THE BATTLE OF SAN JUAN; TUESDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2004. 23 DAYS AWAY!” Fireworks and pyro explode from the corners of the logo as “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd stops playing.::

 

JR

IntenseZone in Puerto Rico! We're all very excited about this opportunity! But one man who isn't excited about IZ right now-

 

"Quiet" hits up, and Dan Black strides through his black smoke entrance to hit the ring, mic in hand. The usual torrent of BOOS Dan collects from the fans is subdued tonight, with the loyal IZ fans reeling from Calvin's earlier announcement. Dan slides under the bottom rope and stands in silence for a moment, taking in each part of the arena.

 

BLACK

Well...I'm not going to come out here and say that IntenseZone is at its highest peak. We've lost guys. Good guys, even those that I hate to admit that of. This job was never going to be easy, but you know what? I'm the man to do it. But its time to take care of business.

 

And Calvin, let me tell you something. I wasn't going to enter the Rumble. I thought I'd leave a spot for another IZ star to maybe make his name.

 

But now? I'm in baby. Oh, am I ever in. Because if the World Champion goes from IZ- well, then I guess we need a new World Champion. And no offence to PRL, or Alfdogg, or any of my friends here on IZ- but I'm the man to do that. I WILL win the Rumble, Calvin. And then your words won't count for anything anymore. There'll be no politics. No meetings. You and me, one on one at Anglemania!

 

The crowd actually POPS for Dan Black! Dan looks taken aback, and scowls!

 

BLACK

But I'm not stopping with you, Calvin. SpiderPoet!

 

Crowd resumes normal behaviour and pops big for SP.

 

BLACK

You and me, at AnglePalooza. The Adrenalin Title. MY Adrenalin Title. I created it. I will wear it. You and your bitch girlfriend better be ready. We go way back, you and me...just like me and Susan Joanne....Stevie Jo...Popick.

 

Crowd ROARS a POP!

 

BLACK

Oh yeah...always the big man...always the center of the attention. You have your mysterious little video last week. I'm out here, accepting the match. So I'll be wrestling twice at Anglemania. Defeating the two men that are the biggest cancers in the OAOAST. When the dust settle, Anglemania...the World Title...the OAOAST...all will be painted BLACK.

 

Dan throws down the mic and leaves, the crowd booing a little, but mostly quiet.

 

JR

Dan Black, Ladies and Gentleman- arrogant, ruthless, not the kind of human being you normally want to associate with. But there's no doubt that he loves IntenseZone, and the OAOAST. Next-

 

::The AngleTron lights up with a video of San Juan, Puerto Rico. The crowd pops, as they are surprised. As the video shows footage of different places of San Juan, an organ is heard playing a sweet, gentle song. The video shows the beautiful beaches of San Juan. Follow by looks at Olde' San Juan. The organ music continues to play, as the crowd becomes hyper waiting for PRL's appearance. The video shifts from San Juan to New York City. The video shows footage of Times Square. Follow by Madison Square Garden and the Statue of Liberty at night. The video then shows a helicopter circling NYC at night follow by a look at the Manhattan skyline. Then Yankee Stadium and the Brooklyn Bridge. The organ music changes by going a high note as an angelic choir joins in. The video shows the Empire State Building and a NYC nightclub before shifting to Miami, Florida. The organ music continues playing as the video shows Miami at night. It shows footage of Miami Beach follow by a bird’s eye view of Pro Player Stadium. Miami's many nightclubs are shown as the organ music nears its end with the crowd getting more and more excited to see PRL. The video then shows Orlando, Florida, more specifically, Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure. As the organ music ends, the lighthouse at Islands of Adventure is shown with the light from the lighthouse shinning in front of the camera as the word "LIGHTNING" is said in a whisper. A lightning bolt hits the entrance and the crowd pops big time. Smoke and pyro fills the entrance as the AngleTron shows a blue screen with the words "PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING" in big blue blocky letters. "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" starts up as the AngleTron shows PRL sneering at the camera in a broken down warehouse. The lights go down, as the fans see a silhouette of someone near the entrance. The crowd pops then boos, as they know it is the silhouette of Puerto Rican Lightning. Puerto Rican Lightning raises his right arm, which has the OaOasT North American Title. He then raises his left arm, which has the Puerto Rican Championship. He turns around as the lights go back on and the crowd begins booing big time. They begin throwing garbage and chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL walks to the ring, cocky, and confident as usual. He brings out Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez out with him, who is wearing a red tanktop, blue sweatpants, a gold necklace, and sneakers with her hair down. She joins PRL, and together, the two walk to the ring. PRL is holding both his belts on his shoulders and dares the fans to touch his belts. PRL continues to walk cool and confident into the ring. He sneers at the crowd then enters the ring. He gives his belts to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and then does the HBK-pose while pyro goes off behind him, kissing his right arm. The crowd boos PRL as he grabs his belts and poses with them on the turnbuckle. The crowd chants "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL sneers at them. PRL poses on another turnbuckle a'la The Rock.::

 

JR:

Puerto Rican Lightning is out here, but for what for? He is not scheldued for a match tonight, and the Lightning Crew Gauntlet isn’t until later on tonight. The OaOasT North American and Puerto Rican Champion will have a title defense in 5 days at Anglepalooza, where he will take on The Shuffle in a Hardcore Match. Not only that, but PRL will also be involved in the Royal Rumble match at Anglepalooza, with the winner receiving the #1 Contendership for the OaOasT World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania III.

 

::PRL leaps off the turnbuckle and hands his belts over to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd continues booing loudly as PRL demands for a microphone. He hands the mic over to Lindsay as “Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)” dies down.::

 

JR:

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is going to speak first. The girlfriend and the first lady of the Lightning Crew, Lindsay has watched PRL’s back for almost a year, and she will definitely be in PRL’s corner when he takes on The Shuffle this Sunday at Anglepalooza in a Hardcore Match.

 

::The crowd boos loudly. They chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Ms. Lindsay becomes a bit irritated, as the crowd isn’t allowing her to speak. PRL sneers at the crowd. Finally, Lindsay, as ordered by PRL, begins to speak.::

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? PRL…Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

::The crowd continues booing loudly, drowning out Lindsay. Lindsay becomes irritated with the “SLUT! SLUT!” chants directed at her. PRL mouths “Idiots!”::

 

JR:

The crowd is not too kind to Lindsay. They’re treating her with the same amount of respect that they treat Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

::The crowd continues booing loudly.::

 

Lindsay:

May I have your attention please? May I--?

 

::The crowd continues booing. Finally, Lindsay becomes pissed.::

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

HOW ABOUT ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!!

 

::With that, the crowd boos even louder. PRL kisses Lindsay as “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” chants fill the arena. PRL grabs the microphone and sneers at the crowd. The crowd responds with the “P.R. SUCKS!” chants.::

 

JR:

Apparently, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has more class than Puerto Rican Lightning, which is nice to know, although it makes the reasons why she is with PRL even more confusing.

 

::The crowd continues booing as PRL gets ready to speak. The booing stops.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

You can boo all you want, but you just have to face facts that I’m just that much better than all of you!

 

::Boos::

 

JR:

More ego stroking from Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

And it is because of this simple scientific fact, that I will walk out of Anglepalooza this Sunday with the OaOasT North American Title STILL around my waist. For you see, The Shuffle, even though I consider my match with him this Sunday, to be a walk in the park, The Shuffle, is, when I think about it, just like The Mad Cappa. He is just like The Blurricane. He is just like “Shooter” Jay Darring. He is just like Naz Mistry. He is just Andrew “Your Hero” Hyland. And he is just like all of you idiot, pieces of trailer park trash. He is a LOSER! And this Sunday, he will be another victim! Another casualty. Another person who I have crushed, who I have defeated, who I will destroy! The Shuffle will be an example of what happens, when you step into the ring with Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

::The crowd boos. PRL takes a break from speaking to soak in the jeers. Several anti-PRL signs are shown in the crowd as PRL smiles. Lindsay gives PRL words of encouragement, making PRL blush.::

 

JR:

Well, it’s quite obvious that PRL is confident. Perhaps he is overconfident about his match this Sunday at Anglepalooza. PRL is a cocky son-of-a-gun, but he is a talented one as well.

 

::”P.R. SUCKS!”::

 

PRL:

For you see, I’ve discovered that The Shuffle is not so smart. If Shuffle was smart, he would have not participated in that Triple Threat Match for #1 Contendership to the North American Title. He would have stayed away, he would have forfeited. But, apparently Shuffle has more guts than brains, and so, he not only participated, but won, and now, I, Puerto Rican Lightning, a man of integrity. A man of strength. A man of honor, decency. A man who is a hero to millions upon millions of people in Puerto Rico. And now, in the first pay-per-view of 2004, my opponent is some dude, who’s only memorable for the fact that he can’t dance! Why, oh why, must I defend my PRESTIGIOUS NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST A DANCING JACKASS? There’s a conspiracy against me in the OaOasT, and it’s no thanks to that bastard, Stephen Joseph. He is just bitter that I kicked his ass a month ago, and he’s taking it out on me. He just can’t accept the fact that I’m better than him.

 

::The crowd boos.::

 

JR:

That is a lie! That is a lie and PRL knows it! Stephen Joseph won the match, and was beat down by the Lightning Crew afterwards! He is more of a revisionist than Vince McMahon!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning (Continuing):

But enough about all of that. You all know that I will defeat The Shuffle at Anglepalooza this Sunday and then go on to throw 29 other men over the top rope to win the #1 Contendership to the OaOasT World Heavyweight Title in the Royal Rumble Match. Let’s concentrate on tonight. For tonight is an important night in Lightning Crew history. Tonight is the night that will not only see the end of The Mad Cappa, when he takes on a member of the Lightning Crew I haven’t announced yet. But trust me, that Lightning Crew member will bring CRAPPA’S dreams to an end, because he will pin Mad Cappa 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring, ending the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, and ending Mad Cappa’s dreams of facing me in the ring! HA! HA! HA!

 

::The crowd boos loudly. Someone in the crowd yells out “GET TO THE POINT!”::

 

JR:

AMEN!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Yes, good sir, I am out here for a reason!

 

JR:

I wonder what reason this could be?

 

::PRL smiles evilly as the crowd boos. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez looks at PRL with loving eyes as she holds his belts up. PRL sneers at the crowd.::

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

What reason are you out here for, P.R.?

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Thanks for asking, Lindsay. I am out here tonight, to introduce to you all the future of professional wrestling. The evolution of this business. I am presenting to you someone who will be around for a long time. He is a machine. He is a monster! He is the man I want every member of the Lightning Crew to be! Tonight, is the debut of my greatest accomplishment! My very own creation! But first, let me give you a bit of a backstory. You see, for the past month or so, I’ve been watching my members of the Lightning Crew fight, and in each match they’ve been in, I’ve heard JR talk about how I brainwashed these guys. How they have no heart.

 

::PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez turn to JR as they continue speaking. PRL gives JR a dirty look, who responds with a look of anger his own. Lindsay curses him in Spanish.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

He saids that the Lightning Crew members “Drink My Kool-Aid”. That they are all zombies with no souls. Well, Good Ol’ JR. You’re wrong. You’re very wrong. You see, Jim Ross, my Lightning Crew members are all human beings who all have brains, a heart, and a conscience just like you. They are not demons. They are not puppets that I control. They have their own minds. They CHOSE to accept my invitation to join the Lightning Crew. They ACCEPTED it! Sure, I only pick people who are WORTHY enough to join the Lightning Crew, but I didn’t FORCE them to join. They joined by their own will. They’re not evil. They’re good-hearted people. They all. They are. You don’t wanna believe me? Fine. But they are. They are.

 

::The crowd boos loudly. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” fill the arena. PRL sneers.::

 

JR (disgusted):

I find that hard to believe.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

However. However. JR gave me an idea. An idea only someone of my intelligence could think of. What if I could create somebody who did everything I said? What if I could create somebody who had the power of Brock Lesnar, the speed of Rey Mysterio Jr., and the flair and charisma of myself? What if he worshipped the ground I walked on? Did everything I ordered them to without question. What if this person “drank my Kool-Aid” as JR would say? This idea seem like it could only come to fruition only with the Lightning Crew and Lindsay by my side. I wanted to create a powerhouse. I wanted to create a person whose mind was only focused on one thing: DESTRUCTION. Someone who could very well, rip The Mad Cappa limb from bloody limb. I was successful. I have created a machine. A heartless, evil, psychotic monster whose only purpose in life is to serve me and destroy anyone who gets in my way. But! This person is only the first of many. Soon, I will have a whole army of monsters on my side. A whole army who will destroy anyone who gets in my way, a whole army that will cripple each and every OaOasT superstar from IntenseZone and HeldDown! I took someone who was down on his luck. I took someone who had no future. I took someone who was poor, who was weak, who had no muscles, no strength, and like Dr. Frankenstein, I made him better. He was a scrawny, small, man and I turned him into a large, muscular machine. With Lindsay by my side, we started what we called Project: Cappa Killer. It took some time, but we did it. We finally did it. He is a killer in the physical and mental sense. He only follows my orders and he does everything I say. I am a GOD! I AM A GOD!!!

 

::The crowd boos. PRL laughs and smiles at Lindsay.::

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD~!!! THE MAN IS INSANE!!! HE IS INSANE!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

The contract I signed with Dan Black said that I was allowed only to include one more member of the Lightning Crew while Mad Cappa was in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. Well, say hello to that one member. And he is the member that I am SURE WILL DESTROY THE MAD CAPPA!!! I am proud to let Cappa know, that I have added one more member for you to overcome. But trust me. It won’t be easy. For if you are lucky enough to win tonight, you will have to face this machine. This monster. He is my greatest creation, and I am ready to unleash him into the world. Ladies and Gentlemen.

 

Lindsay:

It is time to introduce to you the future of professional wrestling! The evolution of this business!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

A man, who will be the first of many. A man who will lead my army. A man who will CRUSH THE MAD CRAPPA! He is what every Lightning Crew member should be. When you follow my beliefs. When you do everything I say. When you are Lightning Crew through and through 4-Life. You will become him. He is an example of what I want in a Lightning Crew member. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you.

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

PRL’s greatest achievement!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Here is he. The NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I proudly introduce to you…. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER!!!

 

::The lights go down in the arena. The crowd pops in anticipation. “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins playing. A lightning bolt hits the entrance as the Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The crowd boos as smoke and fog fill up the entrance and lights flicker on and off in the entrance. Suddenly, through the fog a 7-foot tall man appears. The crowd is in shock.::

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD~!!! WHAT A HOSS!

 

::The man is very, very muscular. He has black eyes, a black crew cut, like the kind PRL use to have. He is wearing black long tights with PROTOTYPE in white blocky letters on the front and the Lightning Crew logo on the rear. His legs have mechanical limbs painted down the sides. He also has black wrist tape and black boots. He is not smiling, walking straight to the ring with a look of anger on his face. The crowd boos Prototype, while PRL and Lindsay applaud their creation.::

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD~!!! This man, this monster, this machine! He looks powerful and unstoppable. Puerto Rican Lightning saids he created him? This man looks like nobody can stop him. PROTOTYPE could be the perfect wrestler.

 

::PROTOTYPE continues walking to the ring as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play. The crowd continues booing as PROTOTYPE enters the ring. He stands in the center of the ring, with a spotlight shining on him. He doesn’t smile. He doesn’t scream. He just looks at the crowd with anger on his face. PRL and Lindsay applaud PROTOTYPE and high five him. PROTOTYPE stands in the center of the ring as the lights go back in the arena and “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd dies down. The crowd boos loudly as PRL grabs the microphone and begins to speak.::

 

PRL:

Look at what is standing in front of you! It’s the evolution of this business! It’s the future! He is what I want all of my Lightning Crew members to be! He is PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER!!! Mad Cappa, I hope you are watching! Because if you so happen to move on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, you will have to face THIS MAN! THIS MACHINE! STARTING NOW, THE FUTURE HAS ARRIVED!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! PROTOTYPE, are you ready?

 

PROTOTYPE:

Yes sir. I am at your bidding.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Good, and call me boss. PROTOTPYE, do you have any words for the audience?

 

PROTOTYPE:

Boss, I will crush anybody I face. I will strike fear into your enemies. I will make sure that nobody, NOBODY messes with you. I will do whatever you ask of me. I am your servant, I am your creation. I am a MONSTER!!! IAM YOUR GREATEST ACHEIEVEMENT!!! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!

 

PRL:

See? He even has my laugh! I am so proud of him! That’s my creation! That’s my creation! I can’t wait till you start slaughtering my enemies. Like Frankenstein, you will be unstoppable! So, to the OaOasT, I say watch out for the lightning strike! Because you will suffer a P.R. AND PROTOTYPE NIGHTMARE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

 

::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins to play. The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PROTOTYPE holds the ropes for Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to exit. The crowd continues booing as Puerto Rican Lightning, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and PROTOTYPE leave the ring with PRL shaking hands with PROTOTYPE along the way. The three Lightning Crew members raise their arms in victory then leave.::

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD~!!! The Lightning Crew has just gotten bigger and better! PROTOTYPE: The Perfect Lightning Crew Member. Someone that was created by Puerto Rican Lightning. He is a monster. He is a machine! PRL was intent on creating someone who was purely evil, and he got it done! And now, The Mad Cappa has one more person to face in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet! Before he had 5 people to face. Now he has 6. And it is someone who PRL created himself. The obstacles have become more and more tougher to overcome, if The Mad Cappa wants Puerto Rican Lightning, he MUST get through the PROTOTYPE. BAWD GAWD~!!! The PRL/Mad Cappa feud has just got kicked up a notch! Fans, we’ll be back right after this!

 

::COMMERCIALS::

 

 

COMMERCIALS

Edited by Mystery Eskimo

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::The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo appears onscreen. The Lightning Crew logo flashes by and is on top of the screen, follow by GAUNTLET in big, white, blocky letters underneath it. Colombian Heat, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, and Thomas Rodriguez all appear underneath the logo, posing. There is a red x covering Spanish Fly, as well as Mr. Boricua. Both men are also in black and white. The crowd pops loudly knowing what is coming up next. Small “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” chants are heard in the background as JR speaks.::

 

JR:

Coming up next is Round 3 of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. It’s The Mad Cappa’s journey, his road to a match with Puerto Rican Lightning. So far, The Mad Cappa has managed to defeat both Spanish Fly and upset Mr. Boricua. This is Cappa’s week of competing in the Gauntlet, which was laid down by PRL in an attempt to get him off his back. Remember, if The Mad Cappa loses ONE MATCH in the Gauntlet, then he and Puerto Rican Lightning can never ever have a match with each other. BUT if The Mad Cappa can defeat each member of the Lightning Crew, then he will have a one-on-one matchup against Puerto Rican Lightning. The Mad Cappa started the gauntlet against the newest member of the Lightning Crew, Spanish Fly, 3 weeks ago on IntenseZone.

 

::The IZ logo flashes by on the screen. A caption reads “INTENSEZONE 3 WEEKS AGO” with clips of The Mad Cappa/Spanish Fly match being shown. The clips end with The Mad Cappa’s win.::

 

JR:

Despite Spanish Fly’s impressive arsenal of moves, he fell to The Mad Cappa to the roars of the crowd. Spanish Fly was great in his debut match and surely made an impact in the fan’s eyes.

 

::The IZ logo flashes by again. A caption reads “INTENSEZONE 2 WEEKS AGO” with clips of The Mad Cappa/Mr. Boricua match. Clips of the 14-minute match are shown. PRL’s Sweet Chin Music on Mr. Boricua is shown follow by Mad Cappa’s BUST A CAP. The clips end with Mad Cappa raising his hands in victory.::

 

JR:

Then 2 weeks ago on IntenseZone, The Mad Cappa took on Mr. Boricua, PRL’s bodyguard. Mr. Boricua had the size and weight advantage, but Cappa had twice the heart Boricua did and, despite Dan Black naming Puerto Rican Lightning the Special Ringside Enforcer, and PRL using his power to interfere in the match, it backfired as PRL inadvertently delivered a Sweet Chin Music to Mr. Boricua giving Cappa the win AND a spot in the Royal Rumble match at Anglepalooza. As announced 2 weeks ago on IZ, Puerto Rican Lightning is also in the Royal Rumble match meaning that these two men will have no choice but to fight each other if they want to receive a shot against the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania III. PRL and The Mad Cappa will be in the ring along with 28 other men on January 25th, and I cannot wait to see the eventual meeting in the ring between these two with a shot at the OaOasT World Champion on the line. We do not know who The Mad Cappa is facing tonight. He has so far defeated 2 members of the Lightning Crew. There are only 5 members left in the Lightning Crew. Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Colombian Heat, Thomas Rodriguez, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. We do not know who PRL has chosen for Cappa to fight tonight. Will Cappa be able to defeat his opponent tonight? Or will PRL finally get what he wants and that is a Mad Cappa lost?

 

1, 2, 3 Hit It!

 

::The opening trumpet blare of “Let Me Clear My Throat” causes the crowd to stand up and cheer.::

 

JR:

Well, it’s time for Round 3 of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet!

 

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The entrance becomes fill with lights that flicker on and off. The crowd cheers loudly as spotlights circle the arena. Chants of “Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa!” are heard in time with the beat.::

 

JR:

The most popular superstar currently on IntenseZone! The Mad Cappa is coming out to face an unknown opponent!

 

::A single spotlight shines on the entrance where Mad Cappa’s back is turn. He starts dancing and jumping up and down getting the crowd all hyped up. Cappa dances towards the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. The fans chant “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues to play.::

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is Round 3 of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet and is scheldued for one fall with a one-hour time limit. It is a straight up one-on-one wrestling match with the stipulation being that if The Mad Cappa wins this match, he will move on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. However, if he loses, then he will never ever have a one-on-one contest with Puerto Rican Lightning. Introducing first, from Washington D.C., weighing in at 185 lbs. He is currently competing in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

 

::The Mad Cappa continues high fiving the fans. As he heads to ringside, Cappa slaps the hands of the people sitting in the front row. The crowd chants “Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa! Go Cap-pa!” Some members of the audience dance as well.::

 

JR:

Last week, The Mad Cappa defeated the biggest member of the Lightning Crew, Mr. Boricua to advance in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet and receive a slot in the Royal Rumble match at Anglepalooza. This week, he will be facing an unnamed opponent as PRL has yet to announce who Cappa will be fightning. The question is about to be answered.

 

::Cappa enters the ring and dances some more. The crowd cheers loudly and chant “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” Cappa bounces off the ropes as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool stops playing. There is silence for a few seconds. The Mad Cappa stands in the ring waiting for PRL’s opponent. The crowd waits in anticipation and begin chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Mad Cappa chants that along with the crowd waiting for The Lightning Crew opponent to show up.::

 

JR:

We are all standing here, waiting for the Lightning Crew member The Mad Cappa is suppose to be fightning tonight. This wrestler has yet to show up. Who will it be? Colombian Heat? Cuban Wall? Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez? Vitamin X? Who will it be? Who will The Mad Cappa face this week?

 

::”Suddenly a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Smoke fills up the entrance as the Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron.::

 

JR:

Who is it going to be?

 

::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins to play. The song continues to play for a few seconds, but no one comes out. The crowd and Mad Cappa look at the entrance waiting for the newest Lightning Crew member to come out. No one appears. The crowd becomes anxious and antsy as they wait for someone to appear. “No Chance In Hell” starts up again, but still no one appears.::

 

JR:

It’s been a while, but no one has showed up.

 

::Suddenly, as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play, Thomas Rodriguez hesitantly comes through the curtain. As soon as Thomas sees Cappa, he runs back through the curtain. However, Puerto Rican Lightning shoves Thomas Rodriguez back out. Rodriguez tries to leave, but PRL continues shoving him towards the ring. The crowd laughs at Thomas but boo PRL. The Mad Cappa has a confused look on his face wondering why he is fighting Thomas. Rodriguez desperately tries to escape, but PRL grabs him and continues shoving him closer and closer to the ring as the crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS!”:

 

JR:

WHAT? Thomas Rodriguez? Tho-T-Thomas Rodriguez? What the? Why is he fightning? Why didn’t Puerto Rican Lightning choose someone else to fight Cappa? You would think, after having Cappa defeat Mr. Boricua last week, that PRL would choose someone more qualified to take on Cappa? But maybe PRL thinks that if Boricua couldn’t beat him, then he should take a risk and put Thomas in the ring against him. Although Thomas doesn’t look exactly thrilled to be in the ring against Mad Cappa.

 

GMC:

And his opponent, from Burbank, California, currently residing in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Representing the Lightning Crew, the official referee of the Lightning Crew. THOMAS RODDDDDDDDDRIGUEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!

 

::”No Chance In Hell” continues to play as PRL shoves Thomas Rodriguez to the ring, while offering him words of encouragement. Rodriguez is wearing a blue tanktop, blue long tights with PUERTO written down the left leg, and RICO written down the right. He is also wearing blue elbow pads, taped wrists, black boots, a Puerto Rico flag on the rear, and blue wristbands. Puerto Rican Lightning tries to calm a sweating, shaking Thomas down, offering him words of encouragement and trying to calm him down. Rodriguez looks at Cappa, who is pissed, then looks back at PRL as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play. The crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Thomas Rodriguez slowly steps into the ring, with his eyes on Cappa, who is ready to attack.::

 

JR:

Thomas Rodriguez is not a trained wrestler. He tried to be one, but was unsuccessful. He has been hit in the head before and has received numerous BUST A CAPS from The Mad Cappa, but has never stepped into an OaOasT ring to compete in a matchup. This will be his debut matchup.

 

::Thomas Rodriguez enters the ring. He looks at Cappa, then at PRL, who gives him a thumbs up, reassuring Thomas, before he runs right back through the entrance. The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Thomas yells at PRL, yelling for him to come back as “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd dies down.::

 

JR:

What a great role model PRL is. Running away from The Mad Cappa. PRL is just sending Thomas Rodriguez in for the slaughter. He doesn’t care about him. He’s just using the Lightning Crew as dummies. As protection from The Mad Cappa. What a great leader he is!

 

::Thomas begs the referee to not ring the bell, but he does, and the crowd explodes.::

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The Lightning Crew Gauntlet Match: Straight Up One-On-One Wrestling Match: “The Evil Referee Gets His Comeuppance”: If The Mad Cappa wins, he moves on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. If The Mad Cappa loses, he and Puerto Rican Lightning can never ever have a match against each other; The Mad Cappa vs. Thomas Rodriguez:

JR:

Thomas Rodriguez has screwed many wrestlers before. He has been a crooked ref since joining the Lightning Crew. He has shown a complete disregard of the OaOasT rulebook, yet, thanks to Dan Black, is still an official OaOasT referee. Well tonight he could be receiving his comeuppance, as he takes on The Mad Cappa in a one-on-one match. It’s time for the next round of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, and it looks as though the match may go in Mad Cappa’s favor.

 

The crowd becomes anxious and chant “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” Cappa stalks Thomas Rodriguez, who tries his best to beg Cappa not to attack him. However, it fails. The Mad Cappa spears Thomas down and starts beating him, slamming his head onto the mat and punching him. The crowd approves. Thomas struggles to get up, but is picked up by The Mad Cappa and whipped into the ropes. Cappa waits for Thomas to return, then does the Fall From Grace to a big pop.

 

JR:

The Mad Cappa laying into Thomas Rodriguez, and it looks like this will be a short match.

 

Cappa picks up Thomas, who pokes him in the eyes. The crowd boos as Thomas takes the time, to try and figure out a way to escape. He tries to escape, but instead, decides to try and beat up Cappa. He throws weak punches, none of which effect Cappa. The crowd laughs at Thomas’ attempt. Cappa laughs also as Thomas drops to his knees and tries to punch Cappa’s stomach. He runs to the ropes…and is met with a punch to the jaw from Cappa, which gets a pop.

 

JR:

What a shot to Thomas Rodriguez’s jaw! The Mad Cappa has not allowed Thomas Rodriguez to get in any offence at all. Cappa now picking up Thomas and continuing the assault.

 

The Mad Cappa European Uppercuts Thomas several times. The Mad Cappa whips Thomas into a turnbuckle, but Thomas reverses, however, Cappa climbs the top rope and comes down with a side swinging moonsault onto Thomas and covers him.

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

JR:

The Mad Cappa gaining the first cover of the match, but to no avail as Thomas Rodriguez kicked out. Cappa continuing to beat up Thomas.

 

The crowd chants “Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa! Mad Cap-pa!” as TMC beats on Thomas Rodriguez. Cappa picks up Thomas and whips him into a turnbuckle. Cappa stomps a mudhole onto Thomas Rodriguez’s chest with the crowd counting along with each kick. Cappa stops then dances a bit which causes the crowd to pop. Cappa gives the crowd a sign of respect then returns to a now dazed, sweating, and tired Thomas Rodriguez. Rodriguez gives Cappa a low-blow just as Cappa picks him up. The crowd boos as Cappa winces in pain.

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD WHAT A SHOT! For a referee, that is not proper. And isn’t it ironic that the referee for this match did not see that low blow. That just isn’t right.

 

The crowd boos as Thomas takes the opportunity to grab Cappa and roll him up for the pin.

 

JR:

RODRIGUEZ ROLLS UP CAPPA! THIS COULD BE OVER!

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

KICK OUT!!!

 

JR:

JUST IN TIME! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ COULD HAVE PULLED THE UPSET BY PINNING THE MAD CAPPA, BUT CAPPA KICKED OUT IN TIME! AND THE MATCH CONTINUES!

 

Thomas Rodriguez kicks Cappa in the gut. The crowd boos as Thomas begins switching between kicking Cappa in the stomach and posing for the crowd. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” while Thomas tells the crowd to shut up.

 

JR:

Thomas Rodriguez has now taken control of this match, which is surprising for someone who isn’t a professional wrestler.

 

Rodriguez punches Cappa in the stomach then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Cappa ducks, kicks Thomas in the gut, and then gives him a Cappabomb.

 

JR:

CAPPABOMB! CAPPABOMB! THE CAPPABOMB ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ! THE COVER! 1! 2! NO!!! CLOSE BUT TOO FAR! THOMAS IS STILL IN THIS MATCH!

 

The Mad Cappa gets up and climbs the top rope. The crowd stands up and cheers as Cappa gives Thomas Rodriguez the Top Rope Legdrop to a pop. He goes for the cover, which gets two.

 

JR:

This match has only lasted several minutes, and yet Thomas Rodriguez looks like he’s been in a 20 minute Hell In A Cell match. Meanwhile, Cappa hasn’t even broken a sweat. He’s not in pain. He’s jumping up and down. He is a trained wrestler and so he has the endurance to last in a match. Cappa now dropping several elbows onto Thomas’ sternum.

 

Cappa picks up Thomas and chops him several times. Thomas gasps for air, but Cappa continues chopping Rodriguez’s chest with the crowd “WOOOOO!” every time. The Mad Cappa whips Rodriguez into the ropes, and comes back with a spinebuster.

 

JR:

SPINEBUSTER! THE SPINEBUSTER ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ!

 

The crowd cheers loudly and chant “Let’s Go Cap-pa! Let’s Go Cap-pa! Let’s Go Cap-pa! Let’s Go Cap-pa!” TMC heads to the top rope and waits for Thomas to get up.

 

JR:

What is Cappa going to do now? What is he going to accomplish now?

 

The crowd stands up in anticipation waiting for Cappa to get up. When he does, Cappa gives him a missile dropkick. He goes for the cover.

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

Thre-KICK OUT!!!

 

The crowd is disappointed, but begins cheering again. Cappa grabs Thomas and whips him into the ropes. Thomas reverses and sends Cappa to the ropes. He charges at Cappa, but Cappa flips him over the top rope into a massive back body drop, which pops the crowd.

 

JR:

OH MY!!! OH MY!!! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ HAS JUST TAKEN A RIDE DOWN TO THE FLOOR! HE HAS PROBALBY INJURED HIS BACK WITH THAT MOVE! BUT THE MATCH IS NOT OVER! REMEMBER, THE MAD CAPPA CANNOT WIN THE MATCH BY DISQUALIFICAION! HE MUST WIN BY PINFALL OR SUBMISSION!

 

The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Thomas lies on the floor breathing hard and holding his back. Cappa stands in the ring, but decides to exit. The referee begins counting as Cappa grabs Thomas and beats on him some more to big pops.

 

JR:

This isn’t so much of a match as it is a slaughter. This is incredible. Thomas has gotten no offence, and has gotten the crap beat out of him so far in this match, which has bowling shoe tendencies.

 

The crowd cheers loudly. The Mad Cappa smiles and saids “Want me to beat on him some more?” The crowd responds with an astounding “YES!” The Mad Cappa punches Thomas in the face several times.

 

JR:

The fans are enjoying Thomas Rodriguez’s beating at the hands of The Mad Cappa! It seems like they want the man to suffer his comeuppance.

 

The Mad Cappa drags the dazed, confuses, tired, and sweating Thomas Rodriguez by his tanktop and slams his face onto the ring apron. He slams it again then drags him some more with Thomas Rodriguez begging for mercy. Cappa points to the stairs and saids “You’re going there!” Thomas yells out “OH GOD!” and The Mad Cappa whips him into the stairs to a resounding “OH!”

 

JR:

BAWD GAWD THE IMPACT! THE CARNAGE!!! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ IS IN PAIN!!!

 

The Mad Cappa slams Thomas’ face into the stairs, and then throws him back into the ring. Cappa beats him some more then picks him up. Cappa punches Thomas two times, dances, which gets a pop, then gives Thomas the IMPACT to a pop. The Mad Cappa then jumps up and down getting the crowd excited. The crowd cheers and chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The Mad Cappa smiles as the crowd becomes more and more excited. Cappa gets into position to deliver the BUST A CAP.

 

JR:

This could be it! This could be over! We could be looking at the end of Thomas Rodriguez’s wrestling career! The Mad Cappa is going for the BUST A CAP and going to end this match once and for all! This is it! The match is over. The Mad Cappa is moving on! He is going to win!

 

The crowd becomes more and more excited as Thomas Rodriguez, in pain, breathing heavily, dazed, and confused, starts to get up slowly. Suddenly, the cheers turn to boos as the crowd turns their direction to the entrance. The Mad Cappa looks at the entrance, and gets a look of rage on his face. The booing becomes clear as Puerto Rican Lightning walks to the ring with his sunglasses on, a black Lightning Crew t-shirt, a black baseball cap backwards, a gold chain, gray sweatpants, a pierced ear, and sneakers carrying a chair.

 

JR:

It’s Puerto Rican Lightning! He has returned! What the hell is he doing here? He has no right to be here! He should still be running away! The bastard should leave.

 

The Mad Cappa and PRL begin trash talking each other. Thomas Rodriguez slowly is getting up. The crowd boos and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”

 

JR:

The crowd is not too kind to Puerto Rican Lightning. Can’t say I blame them though.

 

PRL stays near the ring as Cappa dares him to enter.

 

JR:

PRL is trying to psyche out Cappa. Trying to distract him from winning. Will this work?

 

The Mad Cappa tries to go after PRL, but to no avail. He notices Thomas getting up, so he goes to him and beats him up. The Mad Cappa whips Thomas Rodriguez into the ropes, but Thomas reverses, and Puerto Rican Lightning hits Mad Cappa’s back with a steel chair.

 

JR:

OH MY! THAT DAMN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS ONCE AGAIN INJECTED HIMSELF INTO CAPPA’S BUSINESS! HE IS OBSESSED WITH MAKING SURE CAPPA DOES NOT WIN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!

 

The Mad Cappa crumbles in pain, and then looks at PRL with rage. He grabs PRL’s head, which causes the crowd to pop loudly. Cappa tries to punch PRL, but suddenly, Thomas Rodriguez grabs The Mad Cappa’s baggy shorts, and pulls on them, while putting his feet on the ropes. PRL smiles.

 

JR:

THOMAS RODRIGUEZ ROLLS UP CAPPA! HE’S GOT THE SHORTS! HE’S GOT HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE’S GOT HIS FEET ON THE ROPES!!!

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JR:

NO! NO! NO!!! NO!!! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE! NO! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ HAS JUST DEFEATED THE MAD CAPPA!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning jumps up and down. He plays to the camera as The Mad Cappa gets up in shock. The crowd is in shock and begins booing. Thomas Rodriguez pulls down the straps to his tanktop and yells. He slaps his head and smiles evilly, then high-fives PRL.

 

Gary Michael Cappatetta:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, THOMAS RODRIGUEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! Therefore, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet is finished!!!

 

JR:

NO!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! DAMNIT!!! THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!!! THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!!! THAT DAMN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST CAUSED THE MAD CAPPA TO LOSE THIS MATCH TO A NON-WRESTLER!!! PRL HAS CAUSED THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET TO END!!! THE GAUNTLET IS FINISHED! THE MAD CAPPA HAS LOST HIS CHANCE AT FIGHTNING PRL!!! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! THOMAS HAD THE SHORTS PULLED! HE HAD HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE CHEATED! HE CHEATED!!!

 

::”No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd begins to play. The crowd boos and some throw garbage into the ring. PRL enters the ring and hugs Thomas Rodriguez. He raises his hands in victory as The Mad Cappa still stands in shock. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” fill the arena as the two Lightning Crew members celebrate.::

 

JR:

I don’t believe this! Thomas Rodriguez had his feet on the ropes when he pinned The Mad Cappa. He cheated to win and now he must lose his chance at facing Puerto Rican Lightning! Son of a bitch this is not fair! This is not fair at all!

 

::”No Chance In Hell” continues to play as PRL and Thomas Rodriguez continue to celebrate. They leave the ring when suddenly Stephen Joseph comes through the curtain with a microphone in hand. The crowd cheers loudly. Joseph has a pissed off look on his face. PRL and Thomas Rodriguez stop smiling and become worry as “No Chance In Hell” by Lloyd & Boyd stops playing.::

 

JR:

That’s Stephen Joseph!

 

Stephen Joseph:

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! This is not right! This is not right at all!

 

JR:

You’re damn right!

 

SJ:

No! No! Puerto Rican Lightning. I never knew how much of a coward you were until just a few minutes ago. Using a steel chair to attack Mad Cappa. The man had Thomas Rodriguez beat and you know it!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

What are you talking about?

 

Stephen Joseph:

You know damn well what I’m talking about! Yo, ref. Thomas Rodriguez did not win this match fair and square, G. He cheated. He cheated like the scum that he is.

 

JR:

YEAH! YOU TELL HIM JOSEPH! YOU TELL HIM!!!

 

Stephen Joseph:

Yo, fresh, run that replay again and show the ref just what we’re sayin’.

 

::The IZ logo flashes on screen. The AngleTron shows PRL smashing the chair to Cappa’s back. It then shows Thomas rolling up Cappa and pulling his shorts, then putting his feet on the ropes. The camera does a close-up of the feet on the ropes. The crowd boos as the IZ logo flashes once again and cuts to the present. PRL and Thomas are both worried. Cappa smiles as the crowd cheers. Joseph continues.::

 

JR:

Now the referee knows the truth!

 

Stephen Joseph:

Well now, esse, I’m afraid you’re going to have to go back into the ring, because this match is being restarted right now!

 

::PRL freaks out. He screams “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Thomas becomes worried again.::

 

JR:

OH YEAH! THAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!

 

Stephen Joseph:

So, son, ring that bell, and get your ass back into the ring, Thomas, because, I get a feeling, you won’t be in there for long.

 

::The crowd cheers. PRL and Thomas become worry. Cappa smiles and heads out of the ring, grabs Thomas, and drags him back into the ring. PRL screams, but stays away from Cappa for fear of attack. Stephen Joseph leaves as the bell rings.::

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JR:

STEPHEN JOSEPH HAS DONE THE RIGHT THING! HE HAS RESTARTED THIS MATCH! PRL HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO WATCH!

 

Thomas Rodriguez begs Cappa not to attack, but he does, by giving Thomas Rodriguez the BUST A CAP. Thomas plops down onto the mat face first as the crowd explodes and PRL sneers.

 

JR:

BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ! THE BUST A CAP ON THOMAS RODRIGUEZ!!! IT’S ALL OVER! IT’S ALL OVER!!!

 

The Mad Cappa jaws with Thomas Rodriguez then covers him.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

GMC:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and moving on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The Mad Cappa gets up and celebrates. The crowd cheers loudly and chant “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL whines and does a temper tantrum outside the ring and makes threats to The Mad Cappa. Thomas Rodriguez lies on the mat in pain as Cappa dances.::

 

JR:

WAY TO GO CAPPA! AND WAY TO GO STEPHEN JOSEPH! HE SAW THE TRUTH RIGHT THERE AND HE DID THE RIGHT THING! HE RESTARTED THIS MATCH BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO! WAY TO GO! WAY TO GO CAPPA!!! AND NOW PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS A LOT MORE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THE MAD CAPPA HAS MOVED ON IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! HE HAS FOUR MORE MEMBERS LEFT TO FACE! HE IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO HIS MATCH AGAINST PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! HE IS ALMOST THERE!!!

 

::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues to play. The Mad Cappa dances in the ring a bit then exits the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning takes this as the right time to enter the ring and check on Thomas Rodriguez. The crowd is still cheering and are chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The Mad Cappa enters the crowd and high fives some fans. He grabs a beer and drinks it, then raises his hands in victory. He exits through the crowd with “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool playing over the P.A. system. The crowd is still cheering.::

 

JR:

The Mad Cappa has advanced! He is one step closer to a match against Puerto Rican Lightning! He has 4 more members to go to achieve his dream! He is almost there!

 

::Replay is shown of Thomas’ pin, Stephen Joseph’s decision, and Cappa’s BUST A CAP::

 

JR:

We thought we would see an upset. Thomas Rodriguez had the match won with a rollup. But he pulled the tights and had his feet on the ropes. Luckily, Stephen Joseph restarted the match, and 10 seconds, and one BUST A CAP later, The Mad Cappa pinned Thomas Rodriguez, and moved on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. God Bless Stephen Joseph! And God Bless The Mad Cappa!

 

::Puerto Rican Lightning checks on Thomas Rodriguez. Rodriguez is tired, in pain, sweating, breathing heavily, and is shaking. PRL puts his right arm over his shoulder and walks with him slowly out of the ring. The crowd boos and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Some throw garbage. Puerto Rican Lightning carries Thomas Rodriguez to the entrance.::

 

JR:

PRL must be worried now. He is now going to be sending his big guns against Mad Cappa now. Cuban Wall. Vitamin X, Colombian Heat, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. These four are next in the Gauntlet. We have no idea who Cappa will face next, but it will DEFINTLEY not be as quick as this match was. The saga continues. The Mad Cappa has moved on in the Lightning Crew Gauntlet! We're out of time, for everyone on IZ, good night, we'll see you at Anglepalooza!

 

::FADE OUT::

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::Cut to the Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos the moment they are shown. All 9 members of the Lightning Crew are arguing with each other. Cuban Wall shoves Colombian Heat. The Lightning Crew continue arguing with each other with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez acting as peacemakers. The yelling stops, but the arguing continues.::

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

Calm down! Calm down! Calm down!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Thomas, this is all your fault!

 

Thomas Rodriguez:

My fault? I wasn’t the one who thought that me fighting The Mad Cappa would be a good idea! You send me out there to be slaughter by Cappa!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

The Lightning Crew Gauntlet means that every Lightning Crew member faces him. Besides YOU won the match, but that prick Stephen Joseph decided to reverse the decision since he has a grudge against me!

 

Vitamin X:

Thomas is right. P.R., why the hell would you force Thomas take on Cappa? You know Thomas isn’t a trained wrestler.

 

PRL:

X, stay out of this! Everyone gets a shot. Besides, I didn’t see YOU volunteering to fight Cappa!

 

Vitamin X:

YOU decide who faces Cappa! Remember? This is all you!

 

PRL:

You are just twisting things!

 

Colombian Heat:

Does anyone know what 2+2=?

 

PRL, Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, PROTOTYPE, Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall:

SHUT UP HEAT!!!

 

Colombian Heat:

Why you are mad at me for? I just ask a simple question, G.

 

Cuban Wall:

Man, I have had it up to here with you.

 

PRL:

Wall. Don’t!

 

Wall:

Why you gotta take his side?

 

PRL:

I’m not taking anyone’s side!

 

Cuban Wall:

Blow me!

 

PRL:

Hey screw you!

 

Cuban Wall:

I can kick your ass right now, you know!

 

::The yelling continues. It gets to a fever pitch with all the men shoving and screaming. Finally, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has enough and slaps each Lightning Crew member. The crowd “OOOOHS!” each slap. PRL laughs at the Lightning Crew, until Lindsay slaps PRL, which pops the crowd. PRL holds his right cheek in pain.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

OOOOWWWWWW!!! That hurt! What was that for?

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

To shut you all up! You are all acting like a bunch of whiney babies, like these fans.

 

::The crowd boos. “SLUT!” chants.::

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

Now, you all got to come together and unite! The Mad Cappa has defeated three of you! Spanish Fly, Mr. Boricua, and tonight Thomas Rodriguez. Now, while I agree that PRL sending Thomas Rodriguez tonight was a dumb idea.

 

PRL:

Baby, it wasn’t.

 

Lindsay:

Yes it was! But don’t let tonight’s lost get to you. The Mad Cappa still has 5 more Lightning Crew members to fight. Vitamin X. PROTOTYPE. Colombian Heat. Cuban Wall. And Me. Any of us can bring Mad Cappa down. PROTOTYPE is the perfect Lightning Crew member, he can do it. He has it all. Vitamin X has the speed and agility to bring him down. Plus, he was the one who started the beatdown on Cappa that led to his injury. Cuban Wall is big, tall, and has the strength of 5 men. He can do it. And Colombian Heat. Well—um, he can jump really high.

 

Colombian Heat:

Yeaahhhhhhhh boy!

 

Lindsay:

The point is, that anyone of you can, and WILL, take The Mad Cappa down. You just have to stay focused! Trust me, anyone of you will make him scream!

 

Colombian Heat:

Yo, Lindsay. You wanna get together later. Maybe go to the movies or somethin’?

 

Lindsay:

No thanks.

 

PRL:

Nice try. Lindsay’s right, yo. Anyone of you can defeat The Mad Cappa. Just remain focus in the objective. DESTROY CRAPPA! Remember that. DESTROY HIM! DESTROY HIM!! DESTROY HIM!!! And at Anglepalooza, one of you will get that oppturnity to take down Cappa. Because at Anglepalooza, the Lightning Crew Gauntlet will continue in a one-on-one contest, as The Mad Cappa takes on…um…uh…uh…um.

 

::PRL looks at the Lightning Crew. He is uncertain who he is going to chose. The crowd is anxious as to who he picks. Colombian Heat raises his hands and tries to get PRL’s attention. He scratches his head then figures it out.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ!

 

::The crowd boos. Lindsay is in shock. Colombian Heat does the international signal for “Drats!” The other Lightning Crew members look at PRL with bizarre faces.::

 

Vitamin X:

Uh, P.R. You sure about this?

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

Yes I am. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez can beat The Mad Cappa. She’s smart, she DID train as a wrestler. She's also hot, she’s sexy, and she’s got the, um, “assets”. Remember, at AngleMania II last year when her stripping caused Mad Cappa to not notice Vince Rusco hitting him with a cane. She has distracted plenty of opponents with her hotness. She can do it again. Plus, unlike Thomas, she actually has had proper wrestling training, so she knows some non-bedroom moves. She's a great high-flyer, I've seen her in action. She is probalby the best woman wrestler ever! All she has to do is wear something revealing, play with Mad Cappa’s head, do some of her awesome high flying and wrestling, and he will be down on the mat with Lindsay on top of him for the 1,2,3. And that will be the ONLY time I will allow Lindsay to be on top of another man. HA! HA!

 

Cuban Wall:

Uh, boss. This doesn’t seem like a good idea.

 

PRL:

Are you questioning me? NOBODY QUESTIONS ME!

 

Cuban Wall:

No. Uh, no, boss. No.

 

PRL:

You better not. This could work. No, scratch that, this WILL work. Lindsay will do what a man couldn’t do, and that’s beat The Mad Cappa and end this Lightning Crew Gauntlet once and for all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez:

Thanks, honey. I am honored that you have chosen me to take on The Mad Cappa at Anglepalooza. Trust me, baby, The Mad Cappa will be putty in my hands. I will use him to my advantage and I’m doing it all for you! And P.R., this Sunday, I will be wearing the sexiest wrestling attire you have ever seen.

 

PRL:

MMMMM. I like it when you get dirrty! HA!

 

Lindsay:

This Sunday, this, ::Lindsay pulls down her pants to reveal a thong:: fine ass and this ::pulls down her tanktop for PRL to see:: fine body will do what Fly, Boricua, and Thomas couldn’t. And that’s defeat The Mad Cappa once and for all! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

 

Colombian Heat:

Damn girl! You are looking F-I-N-E FINE! Can I do you just once?

 

PRL:

HEAT!!!

 

Colombian Heat:

Sorry, sir!

 

PRL:

Whoo! I feel better now.

 

::PRL grabs a dart and throws it into a dartboard. The dartboard has a picture of The Mad Cappa in the center. Several darts are on the picture, with the dart PRL throws landing on Cappa’s eye. The crowd boos.::

 

Puerto Rican Lightning:

BULLS-EYE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA!!!!

 

JR:

The Mad Cappa vs. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez at Anglepalooza? This will certainly be an interesting match. A battle of the sexes if you will. This Sunday, at Anglepalooza, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez takes on The Mad Cappa as part of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. If The Mad Cappa can defeat Lindsay, he moves on in the gauntlet. But if he loses, The Lightning Crew Gauntlet is over, and The Mad Cappa can never have a match against Puerto Rican Lightning. It’s happening this Sunday at Anglepalooza, and I cannot wait! It is certainly going to be a slobberknocker folks!

 

::FADE OUT::

Edited by Mystery Eskimo

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