Sjl crimson comments

[Guest crusen86]

Alrighty, the two matches I marked were close, particularly the main event. Just some minor things gave that match to Erek. And if Cutthroat's match was a few hundred words longer and had better grammar, it would have won.

 

Card won't be up anytime soon. The  wo Suicide King matches should be up in a few hours.

[Guest midnight_burn]

Gah, knew i'd lose.

 

Had to cut out alot of stuff i wanted to include, and had to butcher most of it to fit under the word limit.

 

Still, i liked my match, particularly the ending.

 

Oh well, good job Erek, from the little bit i've read it's a very good match.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

That promo of mine was actually meant for the next show, but it all plays out anyway. Good show.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Hehe, yeah Tod I noticed that too. Anyway, haven't read everything, but seems like a great show overall.

 

From what i have read there's a great debut match from Vanguard. There was some really good plot developement between me, Danny, and Tod. Danny wrote a great match and won (and judging by the predictions thread, this was a major upset.) And of course a great main event as usual.

 

Out of seven matches up so far, I predicted four right. Which is kind of good I suppose.

[Guest Insanityman]

Great show, shit match from me. I like the pre-match promo myself...

 

 

 

 

 

-Three days before Crimson

---

The JL’s great commissioner Edwin MacPhisto is in his decorated office. His steel small trash bin overflowing with scrapped card attempts and his desk with scattered papers. He leans back in his black chair tipping it backwards, he sighs and then props his elbows on the desk and head in hands. His eyes glance around the room, he smiles at the cheating dog replica. Even through all the recent stress, he can’t help but to think something’s missing. A sudden knock startles him, and he glances up while the oak door flings open. Edwin surveys the attire first, but can match who it is immediately. Black Orisis skate shoes, signature baggy tan cargoes, and the ultra baggy black hooded sweatshirt. “Ah, the returned Insane Luchador, Andrew…” His cheery voice stops as he surveys the face. Tightened sourly, as the top of his hair isn’t spiked and instead a bandage covers it. “I want a god-damn match MacPhisto.” He snarls, still retaining the angry look. “Well, I thought I’d book you in a golly good match, but your ‘smashing’ return I thought you could use some more time off.” He begins, twisting the good “smashing” and with a very heavy British accent. “Give me a match Edwin, I’m warning you.” Andrew threatens, staring down at Edwin who toys with a pen. Rickmen quietly swears and barks “I WANT A REMATCH FROM DEATHWISH! DON’T MAKE ME HURT YOU!” He explodes, and Edwin drops the pen on the desk (which rolls away) and he stands up slowly. Andrew nearly breaks contact with the green eye, and then the yellow eye. Edwin standing at 6’6” over-towers Andrew Rickmen by three inches, and Rickmen merely growls ready to laugh at the “foolish” black goatee. Edwin keeps eye contact and MacPhisto reminds Andrew harshly, “I’m your commissioner, and I can not only hurt you, but destroy your JL career.” Rickmen shifts weight to one foot, trying to calm himself down… no luck. “Give me a match.” He commands, then Edwin points down to the gold lettered “commissioner” sign.

 

“I’d rather have the JL in complete anarchy then have you rule over us.” Insane Luchador barks, a smirk creeping across his face. Edwin makes a stressed chuckle and then chooses his words carefully. “You want a re-match? You got it; old chump… however if you talk about anarchy so much, maybe we ought to take out the rules? No DQ sound good?” Edwin says a hearty smile on his face, IL remembers what Deathwish can do to him and he nods slowly. “Fuck you.” Andrew comments with hatred. MacPhisto nods slightly and says “You know what? I don’t like the Clan… especially that evil Nekura, and you seem to like to use one of his moves. Now since I don’t like you, Nekura, or the Black Mist… I think I’ll ban it from this match.” Edwin’s smiling is a little too big now. Andrew’s face turns red, and he turns around marching out of the room yelling back “You’ll regret you fucked with the True Plague!” Edwin chuckles as he seats back down, scribbling the match on the card.

 

---

 

(The camera slowly rotates itself around the Fleet Center in Boston! Signs like “Jack the Ripper HAS HERPES!” and “Erek Taylor is my daddy!” are shown. The cameraman spots a hot college girl, stays on her and her slender body then remembers his job. He then sees more signs like “I MARK FOR STRYKE!” and “GET YOUR ASS BACK RENEGADE!” All colorful, he then slowly shows the long announcer table, -from left to right- with the nasty Suicide King, the crazy Aussie Axis, and the king of flash and panache Edwin MacPhisto! King and Edwin are arguing, as Axis tries to break it up. “You shut up!” Edwin hisses, and Axis points to the camera, as one bead of sweat falls from his eyebrow.

 

“Welcome back to the explosive and prime-time quality Crimson!” Axis introduces. “My colleagues, the nasty, evil Suicide King. The other, the JL’s king… Edwin MacPhisto.” Axis continues. “Yes, but no more stalling! It’s time we see who will get revenge and will overcome the other!” “Shut up and announce the match!” Suicide King blurts impatient. “Yes, of course…” Edwin says a little hurt. Axis butts in and announces the matches to a chorus of boos. “Insane Luchador versus Deathwish in a No DQ match!”

“That’s right Rickmen demanded a match, so I gave it to him!” Edwin says with glee.

 

The lights shut off, and the people raise and boo. The guitar riffs send chills down the marks spine. “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG! BURY ME UNDERNEARTH EVERYTHING THAT I WAS!” Mudvayne’s “Dig” continues to play loudly, and the lights flicker on and off. The lights dim it reveals Rickmen's back is facing the crowd, as he arches his back so he sees the wall, his arms and hands form a cross. At the same time he spits Black Mist, and it sprays everywhere, and Andrew turns around slowly taking in the jeers. Rickmen walks down the aisle, as wrappers hit his face, and he ignores them while he slides into the ring. Not too much later Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts. The ‘Tron simply flashes “Deathwish” in bright white letters. Deathwish strolls down the aisle, and then runs down sliding into the ring. The bell chimes in, and Insane Luchador takes a huge step forward launching a fist towards Danny. Williams barely dodges it, and Andrew taking offensive side throws out a clothesline. Deathwish catches his wrist, twisting it around and soon forming a hammerlock. Andrew Rickmen with his free left arm reaches backwards and grabs Danny’s neck. He throws all his weight forward flipping Williams to his back. (Deathwish released the hold as he slammed onto the canvas). Andrew follows up by grabbing Danny’s hair and pulling his head up. (From behind), he then locks in a harsh headlock/choke hold. Eddy Long ignoring the match gives himself kudos for looking so damn good in a striped t-shirt. He then hears a little squeal, and sees Deathwish’s face turning red. He then notes a smirk on Luchador’s sinister face. “Ha! Kick that drunk’s ass!” King exclaims, and he watches Deathwish throw his foot out, trying to nab the ropes. No such luck, in fact Plague intelligently drags him into the center of the ring, and Edwin makes a little sigh at the announcer table. Danny’s face turns a flush of purple, and his eyes start to bug out. Rickmen lets go (to many disbelief) and lets Danny breath as Andrew stands to his feet, rolling out of the ring. He lands on both feet on the outside, and he grabs William’s foot dragging him out of the ring. Danny lands back first to the cold cement and Deathwish groans in pain.

 

“Adrenaline surging through Insane Luchador I bet.” Edwin says a bit ticked.

 

Andrew grabs Danny’s hair again, pulling him to his knees. Williams launches defensive punches to True Plague’s gut. He bends down in pain and Danny flies up slamming his knee in his face. Andrew falls to his back, and Danny sees a not used chair. He grabs it and folds it up. He raises it into the air, and slams it down. However IL barely rolls out of the way, and Danny raises the chair again. Rickmen gets to his feet, and rolls into the ring. Danny slides in, and quickly gets to his feet. Williams swings wildly, and hits Rickmen’s ribs, Danny then throws his foot into Andrew’s gut, making him bend down. He then raises the chair up into the air stalling (and the crowd cheers), Andrews lunges out tackling Danny down, Andrew retreats to his feet, as Danny gets up. Andrew grabs his rib and Danny drops the chair. Plague throws a kick to Danny’s gut. He then locks in a front headlock.

 

“NOT THE EVENFLOW DDT!” Edwin yells with his head buried in his hands.

 

Danny (to many sighs) shoves Insane Luchador down to his back, landing on the chair. Eddy Long bored drops to his stomach as Williams pins,

 

ONE!

TWO!

THRE, Insane Luchador throw a shoulder up, and Danny raises him to his feet. Andrew throws a fist into his gut, and then follows it up with a jab to the chin. Danny spins around dazed, and Andrew kicks the chair by the turnbuckle. Andrew hits a full nelson on Deathwish, running him back by the turnbuckle. Deathwish lunges back, throwing Insane Luchador into the turnbuckle, and then IL hops onto the top turnbuckle with pure grace and style.

 

”NOOOOO!” Axis and Edwin scream as they watch Andrew Rickmen leap off retaining the hold and hitting the Brink of Insanity. King smirks, and then laughs at Edwin’s despair.

 

Andrew makes the pin attempt… Eddy falls to his stomach (thanking he’s in good shape).

 

ONE! No movement.

TWO! Deathwish throws his shoulder up, but not enough to break the pin. He goes back to lifelessness.

THREE! “NO! CRAP! IL DID IT!” Edwin cries with dismay, and “Dig” begins to play. Rickmen stands to his feet, smiling… a little bit of black mist falls from his upper lip. Edwin stares in shock, and tries to warn Deathwish. Danny rises to his knees, and then pulls himself up. Andrew Rickmen lunges forwards spraying the mist into his eyes! “Second time Deathwish feels Insane Luchador’s wraith…” Axis says depressed.

 

“Much more to come…” Edwin says pissed and leaning back into his chair at the same time.

 

Fade to black showing Andrew Rickmen flip off Edwin and leave the ring.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Hehe. Great prematch promo between you and Edwin IL. Liked the match too, but unfortunately your matches can't quite capture the glory that your promos do. Anyhoo, both you and Deathwish wrote great matches, and if I was the marker I'm sure I'd have a lot of trouble choosing between the two.

[Guest Suicide King]

Damn Crusen... you keep getting theses things up earlier and earlier!  How am I supposed to have any fun on Saturday?

 

Matches are forthcoming.

[Guest Insanityman]

Heh, 'tis a sad thing that my matches can't be as good as that promo. *sighs* Maybe next time if I write harder and longer... maybe... thanks for the feed-back too.

[Guest crusen86]

Z and Frost both win their respective matches by, unfortunately, default.

 

Take your time King, it's all good. I think this was a record, and prolly won't happen again.

[Guest Suicide King]

A decent show, and a decent showing from everyone.  My only comment is an uncharacteristic complaint, and a rather petty one at that...

 

I hate first person style match-writing.  It's great from a literary sense but it really takes all the fun out of figuring out who wins.  Well, gee... it's the guy who's telling the story!  Duh!

[Guest Ace309]

Vanguard's match was impressive, although the first-person thing kind of made my brain hurt.

 

... says the guy who wrote an important match with lasting angle implications from the POV of an eight-year-old girl.

 

Tom slinks away.

[Guest Suicide King]

YOU MAY NOT CRITICIZE, FLESHER!!!

 

Only I may criticize.  That is all.

 

[Guest Ace309]

Oh, just admit it, Suicide... you hate me and that's why you keep jobbing me.

[Guest Suicide King]

Keep jobbing you?  Why, that's a capital idea!!!

 

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

King, I'm new to this marking thing. Will you teach me how to job JL'ers who talk back to me?

[Guest Ace309]

Strangler, you should probably start by only jobbing Cutthroat. Takes some of the pressure off you.

 

And, may I just point out, for the sake of everyone who can't stand to read 3500 words written as a simplistic mark:

 

TOM FLESHER BROKE MIKE VAN SICLEN'S LEG. Mike doesn't need to get his grades up, HIS LEG IS BROKEN. THAT'S why he'll be out for a period of time that's coincidentally the exact amount of time it will take for him to get his grades up.

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

Wow, Iam really surprised I won.  I also apologize Insanity Man for my match being a bit one sided, but do to word limits I had to cut off a hudge bulk of your offense.  

 

Also a  big "Ha, Ha" to all those who thought I was a one dimensional "mat only" writer.  

[Guest]

Sorry about the suckiness of my match fellas, but I had a limited time frame to work with.  Stupid real life!  I ended up not really getting across any of the stuff I wanted to, but hey, you can't always have what you want.  Great show from everybody else.  And King, I will try to find another style that suits your taste better, although for what I am trying to accomplish, first person works best.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Rankings Top Ten

 

(What?  No ties?)

 

#1. Erek Taylor (60)

#2. Ash Ketchum (42)

#3. Low Brass (38)

#4. Xero (28)

#5. Insane Luchador (26)

#6. Mafia (24)

#7. Flunkmasta Flexxx (23)

#8. Stryke (21)

#9. Poisyn (20)

#10. Jacob Helmsley (18)

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Oh crap on a stick, IL... you lost

 

Hope you got more time to write a better match next time... oh yeah, and learning how to use the "return" or "enter" key would help

[Guest ErekT2k]

Barely....

 

I guess I should be lucky because in that entire match, everything was basic manuevers. There was only ONE finisher and that was my F&F X off the ladder. Wow, I can't believe a shove actually won.

 

 

(Start sillyness)

 

WOOO!!! I'm 18 points ahead of my nearest competition! GO ME!!!

 

(End sillyness)

 

Okay, on to Metal. Everyone pray that Xero loses so I get the happy time of writing him dancing in a dress while saying "I'm not worthy".

[Guest]

Well, hell with it! I DID lose but it was a few 100 words short like crusen said with some careless mistakes too but aside from that I would have won and thats good enough for me!

[Guest Suicide King]

Vanguard... no reason to change your style just for me, I just wanted to bitch and moan.

 

Strangler...   jobbing JLers is easy and fun!  Flesher is right, start with Cutthroat and work your way up to the midcard over two weeks.  You'll be able to tell who needs to be jobbed by instinct.  Oh, and job Flesher too.  He seems to enjoy it, god knows why.