Crimson card, april 20th... it's a saturday

[Guest Suicide King]

SJL Crimson Card, Saturday, April 20th

Send Matches By Following Date Or JobJobJob: 6pm Saturday the 20th BT

Arena:  Gaylord National Center in Nashville, Tennessee

 

Heh heh heh… guess who got the white-out again?

 

Anyway, all match stuff and promos go to Crusen, who is posting the show.  Remember children, there is a JL PPV coming up, and it’s Wednesday!  Get your plots in high gear because they come to fruition in one week!!!

 

 

 

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Note!  Markers have been changed!  Please read and see if you have a different marker now!

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Pity Match - Send to Suicide King

Cutthroat v The Dark Reaper

-  Dammit, it’s about time one of them got a win.  Saturday sees one man become the ultimate loser and the other can hold his head slightly higher, knowing that there is one man who sucks worse then he.

- Word Limit: 3000

 

Singles Strap Match - Send to Thoth

Frost vs. Vanguard

-  There is money here, and damned if I don’t see it!  Right off of the controversial battle royal win our large cold man will take on our less large Dark Knight!  Will Mr. Freeze ice Batman?  Wait…  anyway… the men are connected by a ten foot long leather strap attached to each of their right wrists.  The strap may be used as a weapon, but other than that normal rules apply!

- Word Limit: 4000

 

Singles Match - Send to TheBostonStrangler

Todd deKindes vs. Deathwish Danny Williams

-   One is the respected foe of the new TV champ.  The other his trusted mentor.  What will happen when they throw down, and what will the new TV champ think of it?  TNT has the night off, but just might show up here…

- Word Limit: 4500

 

Triple Threat First Pin Wins - Send to crusen86

Xero v Shawn Brody v T-Bone

- Xero lost in a heartbreaker of a main event on Metal, but life goes on!  Maybe he can establish himself in the Euro title hunt with a win over the Clansman or the SSCB!  But he’ll have to wear the dress first… T-Bone of course would like to show that he is on his way to bigger and better things than the TV Title as well…

- Word Limit: 5000

 

European Title Match - Send to TheBostonStrangler

Tom Flesher vs. Insane Luchador

- Has King lost his mind? Yes.  Strictly speaking, Luchador beat Brody, one of the top lights of the European Division.  Surely that counts for something.

- Word Limit: 5000

 

First Blood Match - Send to Thoth

Stryke vs. Z

- Stryke requested this match as a warm-up for his PPV match against Taylor.  This appeals to King’s sadistic side.  Request granted.  No DQ or count-out, and you know how to win boys! And anytime Z suffers an angel gets its wings…

- Word Limit: 5000

 

MAIN EVENT

Non-Title Lumberjack w/ Attitude Match - Send to crusen86

Erek Taylor © vs. Ced Ordonez

- Heh heh heh… here’s a great way to warm the champ up for the PPV, as well as to punish the perennial do-gooder Ordonez.  No titles are on the line, but a good time will be had by all.  Strangely enough, this match wasn’t altered by King. Perhaps Edwin booked it this way for a reason…?  Anyway, the following wrestlers are lumberjacks:  Cutthroat, Reaper, Jack the Ripper, T-Bone, Todd deKindes, Brody, Xero, Deathwish, Frost, Insane Luchador, Poisyn… and Stryke.  Seems like the good guys are outnumbered.  The lumberjacks may not enter the ring, but they can rough up anyone who leaves it before rolling them back in.  Did I mention each lumberjack will be issued a pair of brass knuckles before the match begins?  No DQ of course… gee, do you think this match will end in a total clusterfuck or what!??!

- Word Limit: 6000

[Guest HVilleThugg]

ATTENTION!!

 

Vanguard, Frost, Insane Luchadore, and Flesher

 

There will be absolutely NO...and no means NO...extensions granted!  I will be out of town and will only have a window of about an hour and a half to mark matches after 6.  So, if it's not in by 6, forget about it.  I'm not trying to be mean, just letting you know that if you don't get it in, it's over.  Unless of course, you all want the show to go up like 10 hours late?  DO you want that?  Didn't think so...so, there it is...no extension...period!  Sorry.  And if you're mad...well, too bad...I can't even participate in Smarkdown in the WF, so...

 

Da "reminding you, NO EXTENSIONS" H

[Guest midnight_burn]

Looks like a rather tasty card.

 

And quite the match i'm in, up against Z in a First Blood match, it should be rather fun to write.

[Guest redbaron51]

I'd rather be wearing a kilt than a dress

[Guest Insanityman]

Whoa... title shot, kickass. *Nods* Thugg no extension needed, I just need to write quick and soon. Awesome card, and nice to see myself in a main event (if it is basically a cameo). .

[Guest]

[no message]

[Guest realitycheck]

If you loaded super soakers with corrosive acid... wouldn't it eat through the super soaker?

 

Anyway, I just have one thing to after being booked in this match:

 

Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUCK!!!

 

Let's see... can I slip you in for "Horrific absolute vengence" about, say, 2:00-ish Sunday, King?

 

You people are sadists. Always booking Z in matches where I have to rack my brain to think up some way for him to win.

 

(pause)

 

Although, I did I always want to write a match where Z got absolutly destroyed. Heh.

 

Good card all around otherwise, too.

 

-Z

[Guest Tod deKindes]

All right, since I'm making my first ever appearance in the main event as a brass knux wielding angry german lumberjack boy...do I have to contribute anything writing-wise to that match? Same for all other lumberjacks.

 

PS: I just hope we don't have to wear ACTUAL red lumberjack shirts.

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Nope, you 'jacks don't have to contribute anything.

 

And red lumberjacks... that's a good idea.

 

HEAVE HO! HEAVE HO!

[Guest Suicide King]

Lumberjacks do not have to write a thing.  If you would like your character to act a certain way in the match, PM that info to Ced and Erek and they shall write you accordingly.  All in all I am anticipating a beatdown of epic proportions.

 

And sorry Z, but I'm going to be screwing your mother all day Sunday.  Can we reschedule?

[Guest realitycheck]

My mom's 60, King. I see you have one of those 'mature' fetishes, eh?

 

And Tod, insted of a lumberjack shirt, how about you wear leinerhosen? Maybe you could cut a promo about "Schlagende Leute unten mit schwarzem forstholz und -tragen keuchen " or something.

 

-Z

Who honestly thought King had better taste. Well, not really.

[Guest]

This might seem like a dumb question. but anyways-

 

What are the dimensions to a standars wrestling ring/ SJL wrestling ring?

[Guest Suicide King]

exactly as big as you need it to be, within reason.

[Guest Kojack]

No Kojack???? Well sorry i no showed for 2 shows. When i noticed the boards werent down anymore the shows were posted so i couldnt do anything and also i wasnt book last show. Anyways Im here!

[Guest]

Alright, quick question. How does the referee call a TKO?

[Guest hhh6294]

A TKO is in BOXING!!!!

 

 

quit being a numbnut and pin the dude.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

ATTENTION!!  PLEASE READ

 

King or Edwin and JLers...

 

I cannot mark my matches for Saturday's Crimson.  I thought I'd have a little time to mark them, but it turns out that I won't.  I am out of town and I just don't have the time on Saturday to mark because I have to work.

 

It's funny how I don't work when I'm home, but when I travel, I have to go to work.  Don't ask, cause I don't feel like explaining.

 

Anyway, I need someone to pick up marking these matches.  Sorry about this, but I thought that I would have time.  Damn bitches not communicating to me properly.  Anyway, hopefully someone will pick these up...unless that is, you all want to wait until Sunday to find out the winners.

 

Da "off and running again" H

[Guest Suicide King]

So noted and altered!  Everyone look and see if your markers have been changed!