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TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe

Why ESPN sucks

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Guest Anglesault
Want another reason ESPN sucks? How about people naming THEIR KIDS after it?

 

Apocalypse Now: The first ESPN siblings

 

Now, the name Espen is actually a real name (Espen Knutsen from Norway played for the Columbus Blue Jackets), but I'm sure those parents didn't know that. And naming your kid ESPN (in caps no less) really ought to be illegal.

Someone should step in.

 

Tell the parents that they can allow their children to keep the asinine names, but they have to legally change their names to Shithead and Assface.

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Guest Anglesault

I found this is a sig on another board, and I thought it was really funny (and true)

 

" I came up with a fullproof idea for disproving that the WNBA is a real sport. You choose a person from a city that has a WNBA team and ask them the following question: "Would you rather your WNBA team win the championship or be walking along and find a $5 bill on the ground?" So far, I haven't found anyone that will choose the championship. What do you think?"

-- Josh, Kansas City, Mo.

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Guest Anglesault
Yeah, that's from the new Bill Simmons column. On ESPN.com.

 

</irony>

I figured it was something like that. I need to check that out. Haven't read him since the last Yanks/Sox game.

 

Why is that ironic?

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Guest Anglesault
Yeah, that's from the new Bill Simmons column.  On ESPN.com.

 

</irony>

That large enough for you?

Ah. It takes me a while sometimes.

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Guest Salacious Crumb

Having Kyle Boller on as an anaylist for all the NFL stuff now. He's been in the NFL for a few games and wasn't that good. Stop acting like he's a football and draft expert.

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Guest Mindless_Aggression

I kinda do like when Dan Patrick has Steven A. Smith on the 5pm Sportscenter and Dan asks him a long and pointless question and Steven responds with "No."

 

The awkward silence that follows is always a perverse delight.

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Guest Smues

Some pitcher for Toronto had a no hitter going so ESPN of course has to cut to that game every chance they get, so of course he gives up a hit. Why can we not just let these things happen? Anytime a pitcher goes 4 innings without a hit mlb.com and espn have to go nuts and tell you every chance they get. Way to jinx it guys.

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Guest Ghetto Bird
I found this is a sig on another board, and I thought it was really funny (and true)

 

" I came up with a fullproof idea for disproving that the WNBA is a real sport. You choose a person from a city that has a WNBA team and ask them the following question: "Would you rather your WNBA team win the championship or be walking along and find a $5 bill on the ground?" So far, I haven't found anyone that will choose the championship. What do you think?"

-- Josh, Kansas City, Mo.

I'd take the championship. I'd rather watch the NBA than the WNBA, but I'd rather watch the WNBA than anything else.

 

Basketball (any level/any gender) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> anything that's not basketball

 

Besides, what the hell can you get for $5, anyway?

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Guest Redhawk

What I want to know is how the segways are going to sound when they have to introduce the on-air concerts:

 

"Thanks, Sal Palontonio. And speaking of the Lions, we have another Detroit juggernaut in the house: KID ROCK!"

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Guest tangerine

I saw this show this evening, It was Stuart Scott's game show.

 

It was basically a rip off of Dan Patricks old gameshow from a couple years back mixed with BEAT THE GEEK style theme.

 

ESPN2 is basically the Game Show with Poker and Pool now.

 

Just go ahead and do ESPN3-Leisure Sports Central.

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Um, why is Happy Gilmore on ESPN right now?

I have no fucking clue. Happy Gilmore is barely a sports movie.

 

They apparently have decided to shunt PTI and ATH to ESPNNews as well.

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Having Kyle Boller on as an anaylist for all the NFL stuff now. He's been in the NFL for a few games and wasn't that good. Stop acting like he's a football and draft expert.

I hate when they use an active player for the "Fact or Fiction" thing, and the questions are always about his own team. Like a guy from Philly is going to say "Fiction" when asked if Andy Reid is the best coach in his division, or the guy from Tampa is going to say "Fact" when asked if the Bucs are going to regret losing Sapp.

 

Common sense says that the player is going to give the corporate answer and thus it's pointless to have them included in an already pretty damn pointless bit.

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Guest Calandro

I didn't take the time to read the entire thread, but I do disagree with the initial post. ESPN is awesome, 80% of the time. The 20% I am referring to is the pool, bowling, and the reruns of Sportscenter, which do come in handy at times. ;)

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http://www.realgm.com/src_wiretap.php#1090635669

David Aldridge leaving ESPN 07/23 -

10:21 PM

Friday 10:18 PM EST

 

ESPN's headquarters in New York has confirmed to us tonight that David Aldridge will be leaving the network after his contract expires on August 28th. At the moment no reason was stated for his departure.

 

This news has been circulating around the Internet for the past few hours as it came as quite a surprise to most. Aldridge is generally considered to be the top basketball analyst in America today, or at least the most trusted, with the most trustworthy sources around. His calm and professional style of reporting will surely be missed on the worldwide leaders in Sports next year.

 

TNT has already been rumored to be interested in his services.

 

The 39 year-old David Aldridge was hired by ESPN as an NBA reporter in February of 1996, after working for the Washington Post.

 

With Aldridge leaving ESPN next month, Steven A. Smith now appears to be their top basketball analyst. Smith is very popular amongst the younger viewers and therefore even more popular amongst potential advertisers, but his personality and style of reporting has rubbed many basketball fans the wrong way countless times over the past year.

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Assuming he winds up with TNT, David Aldredge adds a sense of class to his reporting, which Stephen A. Smith lacks.

 

As an aside, I hate how not just ESPN, but every sports telecast has to appeal to younger viewers. All too frequently, this dumbing down involves less actual game footage, and more theatrics.

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