the mighty WWE SMACKDOWN WORKRATE REPORT-4/22/04!

[Guest FrigidSoul]

*struggles within his ropey confines*

 

Great Scot! If only I could reach my Frigid-Belt...running out of precious time...

 

 

Will our Frigid Hero escape this predicament?

 

Will Sass get away with his dastardly plans?

 

Will DownHome start wearing pants even when alone in the confines of his own home?

 

*screen shifts to a shocked DownHome sitting in his undies eating a bowl of Trix cereal*

 

Tune in next time, same Frigid Time, same Frigid Channel!

[AndrewTS 0]

Reneah DewPrix hosts his cafe. He demands a moment of silence. These people are so unrefined. Rene is here bring class and style and HIS WANG! to Smackdown. Torrie shows up and 34 year old virgins blow a fetid congealed load over their HR Geiger ("PRONOUNCED GHEE-GHER, SIMPLETON!") Alien Collector's Edition Portfolio onto the 1/16 scale Doctor Doom bust. Torrie is lying like a filthy liar! Of course, she was laughing at Big Show! Renee is in soooo deep because he has to try to cover for Torrie Wilson attempting to ACT~! Renee is sick to his stomach. Torrie is selfish! She relies on men for everything! FIFI ISn'T THE ONLY BITCH IN THE RING! Rene realizes that Torrie is ruining his big debut by having the acting skills on par with a downloadable episode of SundaySchoolUpskirts.com and he FREAKS OUT! Cena comes in and beats some sense into the faux surrender monkey. Dupreee didn't understand the American law that if you pose completely naked, you don't have to act anymore. It's the eternal thespianic mulligan. Unless you're Carmen Electra.

 

"GHEE-GHER?" A friend of mine who is quite the Geiger-holic always pronounced it "Guy-ger" (although he doesn't fit your stereotype) You know, for some one who takes quite the number of cheap shots at those 34 year old virgins, you seem to have quite a store of knowledge about this stuff, DEAN.

 

Torrie's performance truly was abysmal, and even with plenty of time the little squirrel on a treadmill inside her brain seemed unable to get things moving, and Rene doing a decent job of saving that segment is truly commendable. Apparently being a 20 year old OVW guy with POTENTIAL gets rewarded by an opportunity to cop a feel on the talentless blonde Playboy bimbo.

 

However, this will probably lead to Cena getting his turn with Torrie, and will probably be the closest thing you'll see to Torrie getting near a black cock. Don't you hate stuck up porn bitches that are like that? Torrie has never screwed a brotha*! Smackdown needs the sweaty, Geiger-esque Mark Henry to come back, double-team Torrie with Theodore "I live up to my fucking name, playa" Long, and Mark can shove his black-as-tar ovipositor into Torrie's various orifices. Either that, or Booker can make her his personal sucka.

 

*No, Maven does NOT count.

[Guest Nater]

Imagine a world where Torrie had half a brain and told the joke she was laughing at to DewPrix. He would by Charlie Bravo on himself while she did Vince's ass-strut out of the ring.

[Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN]

Torrie shows up and 34 year old virgins blow a fetid congealed load over their HR Geiger ("PRONOUNCED GHEE-GHER, SIMPLETON!")

 

"GHEE-GHER?" A friend of mine who is quite the Geiger-holic always pronounced it "Guy-ger" (although he doesn't fit your stereotype) You know, for some one who takes quite the number of cheap shots at those 34 year old virgins, you seem to have quite a store of knowledge about this stuff, DEAN.

Hey, I never said I wasn't a complete and utter dork. The guy whose collection of dorkish stuff I base these on is named Mark and I was over at his house last Tuesday and we were grilling him about weird shit that he has and he actually has a Geiger book. He said, "Oh yeah, that GHEE-GHER book is pretty rare" or something. So I said "You realize that pronouncing that as ghee-gher is so going to make the Workrate Report." And then we went back to debating if his Monty Python and The Holy Grail figures actually qualify as True Dorkdom. (I say no.) ((And he's not a virgin.))

[AndrewTS 0]

I asked my friend who was into the Geiger stuff about it, and he's pretty sure it's "Guy-ger." He has a few Geiger art books, can often glance at a piece of artwork and give a good guess of who drew it, and some one he knows from his art classes also pronounces it that way. So, I'm not sure. I think he's not a virgin, either.

 

...they made Monty Python and the Holy Grail figures? Eh, I'd say they don't qualify. Monty Python anything is inherently cool, so they would be by proxy. Is there a black knight figure with removeable limbs?

 

Edit: Or are the ones he has custom-made?

[Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN]

Is there a black knight figure with removeable limbs?

 

Edit: Or are the ones he has custom-made?

No they are still in the boxes from when he bought them and yes the arms and legs are velcroed on the Black Knight.

[AndrewTS 0]

Ahhh...

 

Everything on Google seems to suggest it's "GHEE-GER," but it is *spelled* "Giger."

If it was the other spelling, it would be right to say it the other way probably, like the Geiger Counter.

[Guest Nater]

I've seen an interview with that guy, he loves his heroine and black penises.

 

 

 

 

Crazy-ass Germans.

[DerangedHermit 0]

*struggles within his ropey confines*

 

Great Scot! If only I could reach my Frigid-Belt...running out of precious time...

 

 

Will our Frigid Hero escape this predicament?

 

Will Sass get away with his dastardly plans?

 

Will DownHome start wearing pants even when alone in the confines of his own home?

 

*screen shifts to a shocked DownHome sitting in his undies eating a bowl of Trix cereal*

 

Tune in next time, same Frigid Time, same Frigid Channel!

*acid-punches FS in the face*

[AndrewTS 0]

I've seen an interview with that guy, he loves his heroine and black penises.

 

 

 

 

Crazy-ass Germans.

heroin*

 

He's Swiss, actually.

[Conspiracy_Victim 0]

Is there a black knight figure with removeable limbs?

 

Edit:  Or are the ones he has custom-made?

No they are still in the boxes from when he bought them and yes the arms and legs are velcroed on the Black Knight.

Yup. Mine's still in the box sitting on my bookcase. I'm debating if I should leave it in it's box for the asthetic value or take it out and start reenacting scenes. Decisions, decisions...

[Lil' Bitch 0]

*struggles within his ropey confines*

 

Great Scot! If only I could reach my Frigid-Belt...running out of precious time...

 

 

Will our Frigid Hero escape this predicament?

 

Will Sass get away with his dastardly plans?

 

Will DownHome start wearing pants even when alone in the confines of his own home?

 

*screen shifts to a shocked DownHome sitting in his undies eating a bowl of Trix cereal*

 

Tune in next time, same Frigid Time, same Frigid Channel!

 

Looks like this is it for our hero.

[Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN]

Is there a black knight figure with removeable limbs?

 

Edit:  Or are the ones he has custom-made?

No they are still in the boxes from when he bought them and yes the arms and legs are velcroed on the Black Knight.

Yup. Mine's still in the box sitting on my bookcase. I'm debating if I should leave it in it's box for the asthetic value or take it out and start reenacting scenes. Decisions, decisions...

Just don't take it out of the box, re-enact scenes, videotape it and stick it on the internet. Unless you want to.