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Rob E Dangerously

World's Worst Wrestling - Show #11

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Your announcers: Tony Schiavone and Jimmy Hart

 

Card for tonight:

 

WWW TITLE:

Hulk Hogan defends against Bestia Salvaje

 

LOSER MUST EAT EX-LAX BROWNIES:

John Bradshaw Layfield faces Jyushin Lyger

 

The Outsiders face Sexual Harris-ment

 

FOR THE WORLD SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE:

Vince Russo defends against Kevin Sullivan

 

Lil Sexay faces Jerry Lynn

 

Sabu faces Johnny Grunge in a 'table' match

 

La Resistance and David Flair face Ric Flair and The Insane Clown Posse

 

La Parka takes on Sadam

 

Team Deion Member #3, Meng and Stevie Ray face Lex Luger, Evil Sting and Team Game Member #3

 

Sid faces Dean Malenko in a 'submission' match

 

Bob Backlund duels it out with Kane

 

Nathan Jones and Buff Bagwell take on the Church of Sports Entertainment

 

Scott Steiner will be in action!

 

OPENING SEGMENT - Roddy Piper comes down to the ring to rant about how Vince Russo has disgraced Pro Wrestling. In the middle of the segment, Sylvan Grenier comes down to the ring and starts to preposition Roddy Piper. Piper starts to attack him and then the Church of Sports Entertainment runs down and attacks Piper, hitting him in the hip with chairshots. Which leaves him laying

 

BACKSTAGE: Macho Man Randy Savage and Brooke Hogan enter the building.

 

BACKSTAGE: Nathan Jones slobbers as he talks about his experience attacking a naked Vince Russo. While Buff Bagwell insists that he will not job for anybody.

 

BACKSTAGE: The Church of Sports Entertainment holds mass for the souls of their opponents.

 

Nathan Jones and Buff Bagwell defeated The Church of Sports Entertainment when N. Jones pinned J. Dundee with the Choke Slam in 0:02:31.

Rating: -1/4*

 

BACKSTAGE: Brutus Beefcake confronts Randy Savage and challenges him to a match.

 

BACKSTAGE: Sid rants and raves

 

Submission Match:

Sid made Dean Malenko submit to a chokehold in 0:05:52.

Rating: 1/4*

 

POST-MATCH: The Horsemen run down to the ring and hit Sid in the elbow with a chair. Injuring him in the process.

 

BACKSTAGE: Deion Sanders declares that Meng and Stevie Ray will unleash a can of whoopass, but their new partner will also bring his technical skills to the ring. Their partner is 'ReBorne'

 

BACKSTAGE: Triple H announces that they don't need a third partner tonight. But then Bodydonna Skip shows up and urges Triple H to let him tag with Luger and Evil Sting. Triple H notes that Candido has never won a match in World's Worst Wrestling. Skip says that he has that turned around and he will surprise the world.

 

ReBorne, Meng and Stevie Ray defeated Evil Sting, Lex Luger and Bodydonna Skip when ReBorne pinned Luger after a DDT in 0:03:36.

Rating: -* 1/2

 

POST-MATCH: Two men (Chuck Palumbo and Brakkus) come out of the crowd carrying a bag. They take out dodgeballs and throw them at Meng, Stevie Ray and ReBorne after the match. They then flee with Bodydonna Skip.

 

Randy Savage pinned Brutus Beefcake with the Flying Elbow-Drop in 0:02:01.

Rating: -*** 1/4

 

POST-MATCH: Savage takes a chair and hits Beefcake in the face with it multiple times.

 

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Scott Steiner talks about all the girls he had sex with while out of action. He declares that he's here for one reason and it will become obvious tonight.

 

Handicap-Match:

Scott Steiner defeated The Lost Boyz when S. Steiner made Azrael submit to the Steiner Recliner in 0:06:07.

Rating: * 1/2

 

BACKSTAGE: Bob Backlund declares his intention of weakening Kane's arm in preparation for the procurment of the Crossface Chickenwing. Bob also declares that "The New American Idol is in the building"

 

Kane pinned Bob Backlund with the Tombstone in 0:01:22.

Rating: 3/4*

 

POST-MATCH: A masked man with a t-shirt saying 'Your American Idol' runs into the ring and attempts a collar and elbow tieup with Kane. And then Jerry Lynn comes down to the ring and hits Kane with brass knuckles. Leaving him out cold in the ring.

 

OVERSEEN ON THE BACKSTAGE CAMERAS: David Flair is served with papers declaring that Ric Flair has disowned him. David charges to the dressing room of the Horsemen, and they beat him into the ground. And we see Goldust in their dressing room. Ric Flair walks out of the room and he has an announcement.

 

"WHOOOOOOO!!!! David! I'm sorry.. but.. you're not really my son.. you should have known that.. but i've decided to adopt a young man to carry on my legacy. I think you know him. He's my new son Dustin."

 

Goldust walks out of the dressing room, wearing Flair's robe and a wig, rubbing his chest.

 

Ric Flair - "Dustin, cut that out.. you know the only nipples you're touching will be on the women who ride Little Space Mountain!"

 

Dustin Flair - "WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

Ric Flair - "In fact Dustin.. i'm gonna cut back on wrestling.. so you'll be wrestling in my place tonight."

 

Dustin Flair - "Thanks Dad!"

 

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: La Resistance waves American flags and salutes the virtues of America. David Flair is nowhere to be seen.

 

BACKSTAGE MOMENT: Arn Anderson and the Insane Clown Posse are having a personal chat about the spot of "Enforcer". Arn doesn't know what the hell a Juggalo is, but he's sure that the Clowns would be able to kick ass, somehow.

 

DURING THE MATCH: David Flair came down mid-match and attacked Dustin Flair with his crowbar.

 

La Resistance and David Flair defeated Four Horsemen 2000 (Dustin Flair, Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) when R. Dupree pinned Shaggy with the French Riviera in 0:06:02.

Rating: -*

 

BACKSTAGE: Lil Sexay is reading from a notebook. His former tag team partner Sylvan Grenier comes up to him, wrapping an arm around him and standing extra close to him. "So what are you reading?", he says while licking Christopher's ear. Lil Sexay moves down the hall. "I'm reading this advice on Kevin Nash about how to harness my power, goodbye!"

 

BACKSTAGE: Jerry Lynn has a 'ho train' ready to satisfy his needs. "Pimps up, Hoes down" - Jerry Lynn

 

DURING THE MATCH: Scott Steiner hung around ringside and attempted to flirt with Chyna.

 

Jerry Lynn pinned Lil Sexay with the Piledriver in 0:03:36.

Rating: * 1/4

 

Table Match:

Sabu the Beheader defeated Johnny Grunge by putting him through a table in 0:00:54.

Rating: * 1/4

 

POST-MATCH: Sabu lays Grunge out in the ring and picks up a sword. But then Los Immigrantes makes the save for Grunge

 

BACKSTAGE: La Parka headbangs and air-guitars his chair.. and says nothing to Mean Gene

 

OVERSEEN BACKSTAGE: Moments before the match, La Parka attacks Sadam with his chair, leaving him bloodied. Scorpio Jr and Emilio Charles Jr then declare that they'll beat up La Parka in a tag team match, if La Parka has a partner.

 

IN-RING ACTION:

La Parka goes for a vertical suplex, but Emilio Charles Jr. counters it with a small package.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Jim Duggan makes the save.

La Parka nails Emilio Charles Jr. with a Frankensteiner.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Scorpio Jr. doesn't make it in time... three.

The crowd is giving La Parka a standing ovation.

 

The winners are Jim Duggan and La Parka. Time of match: 0:07:57

 

Jim Duggan and La Parka defeated Team Taliban (Emilio Charles Jr. and Scorpio Jr.) when Parka pinned Charles Jr. after a Frankensteiner in 0:07:57.

Rating: -** 1/2

(Jim Duggan and La Parka won the WWW Tag Team titles.)

 

Schiavone - "We just caught this on the security cameras, and it's the greatest ass-beating in the history of our industry"

 

OVERSEEN ON THE 'WWW BACKSTAGE CAM': Members of the Japanese Yakuza confront the Outsiders, we overhear the word 'laxatives', and the Yakuza pound the Outsiders into a pulp with their brass knuckles

 

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Sexual Harris-ment is quite amused over the turn of events. Suddenly, we see Yakuza members showing up and the Harrises hand them bags with dollar signs on them before continuing their promo.

 

PRE-MATCH: The Outsiders hobble down to the ring beaten and bloodied

 

THE MATCH:

Don Harris attacks Kevin Nash before the bell.

Don Harris throws Kevin Nash out of the ring.

Earl Hebner counts: one, Kevin Nash reenters the ring.

Ron Harris enters the ring to make it two-on-one.

Scott Hall enters the ring, but gets cut off.

Don Harris and Ron Harris whip Kevin Nash into the ropes.

They hit Kevin Nash with a double clothesline.

Ron Harris leaves the ring.

Don Harris takes Kevin Nash down with a waistlock suplex.

Earl Hebner counts: One, kickout.

Don Harris hits Kevin Nash with a snap mare.

Don Harris is going for the pin.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Scott Hall doesn't make it in time... three.

Kevin Nash complains about a fast count.

A portion of the crowd is booing Don Harris.

 

The winners are Sexual Harris-ment. Time of match: 0:00:22

 

Sexual Harris-ment defeated The Outsiders when D. Harris pinned Nash after a snap mare in 0:00:22.

Rating: -1/2*

 

BACKSTAGE: Vince Russo talks to Glacier, Viscera, Alex Wright, Maven, Shawn Stasiak, Jake Roberts, Van Hammer and Jerry Flynn and informs them that they'll be in an elimination match due to fact that they have no feuds right now. Also, apparently Maven is now a mime.

 

Elimination Match:

Glacier, Viscera, Alex Wright and Maven beat Shawn Stasiak, Jake Roberts, Van Hammer and Jerry Flynn 4 falls to 1:

x A. Wright beat Van Hammer via a moonsault bodyblock in 0:01:58

x A. Wright beat Stasiak via a dragon suplex in 0:02:38

x J. Flynn beat Glacier via the Cross-Armbreaker in 0:06:36

x A. Wright beat J. Flynn via the Reverse Neckbreaker in 0:11:24

x A. Wright beat J. Roberts via the Reverse Neckbreaker in 0:12:39

Survivors: Viscera, Alex Wright, Maven

Rating: -* 1/2

 

POST-MATCH: Jake Roberts attacks Alex Wright, hitting him with a DDT.

 

BACKSTAGE: Scott Steiner offers his services for $5,000 to any Gang Wars team that needs a 'Big Bad Booty Daddy'. Jerry Lynn walks up to him and tells him to 'Stay away from my woman'

 

BACKSTAGE: Triple H tells Bodydonna Skip that he's on 'Team Game' with his two friends. Skip calls his friends 'The Purple Cobras'

 

IN SOME MYST: Kevin Sullivan asks his father for advice on beating Vince Russo. Then 'suddenly' a spike appears in his hand.

 

VIGNETTE: We see fan-cam footage of a beach, suddenly, Vince Russo rises from the ocean with a monster mask on.

 

BACKSTAGE: Russo brags that the power of 'The Purpil Hayes' will lead to victory. Russo declares his match with Sullivan to be a match that will mimic the beatings that the Yankees unleash on the Red Sox.

 

IN-RING ACTION:

Kevin Sullivan whips Vince Russo into the ropes, but Vince Russo reverses it.

Jake Roberts pulls down the top rope.

Tim White threatens Vince Russo with disqualification.

Tim White counts: one, two, Vince Russo distracts Tim White.

Jake Roberts hits Kevin Sullivan with the DDT.

A portion of the crowd is booing Kevin Sullivan.

Kevin Sullivan is out cold.

Tim White is back on the job: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Vince Russo is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.

 

The winner is Vince Russo. Time of match: 0:03:37

 

Vince Russo defeated Kevin Sullivan by countout in 0:03:37.

Rating: -1/2*

(Vince Russo retained the World Sports Entertainment title.)

 

POST-MATCH: Jake Roberts drops his snake on Kevin Sullivan.

 

BACKSTAGE MOMENT: Jyushin Lyger is urged to adopt a name that is 'easier to spell' such as "Justin Liger"

 

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: John Bradshaw Layfield is mad! Because "Midgets like Lyger keep legitimate American light heavyweights unemployed. Face it Okerlund, when you got a guy like him, would you want to hire someone who's unknown?"

 

THE MATCH:

They lock up.

John Bradshaw Layfield uses a poke to the chest on Jyushin Lyger.

John Bradshaw Layfield is going for the pin.

Tim White counts: One, two, three.

A fan at ringside badmouths John Bradshaw Layfield.

 

The winner is John Bradshaw Layfield. Time of match: 0:00:12

 

John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Jyushin Lyger after a poke to the chest in 0:00:12. John Bradshaw Layfield suffered an elbow injury. He will be out for approximately 3 cards.

Rating: 1/2*

 

POST-MATCH: Lyger and Bradshaw left together, but then Lil Sexay came out and told them that Lyger had to eat the brownies now. Lyger responds by attacking Sexay and stuffing the brownies down his throat.

 

BACKSTAGE: Alex Wright talks to Kevin Sullivan and Sullivan vows to train Wright and friends if they take on Jake Roberts.

 

BACKSTAGE SITUATION: Bestia Salvaje is having a toy version of the WWW Heavyweight title fitted on him. The rest of the Axis of Evil urges him on to victory

 

BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Hulk Hogan promises to finish off Bestia Salvaje. But, in the middle of the interview, Macho Man Randy Savage walks up holding thong underwear, claiming that "He knows the girl wearing them very well" (Brooke Hogan). Prompting a pull-apart situation

 

Hulk Hogan pinned Bestia Salvaje with the Big Leg Drop in 0:04:20.

Rating: -* 1/2

(Hulk Hogan retained the WWW Heavyweight title.)

 

POST-MATCH: Randy Savage walked down to ringside. But then WWW Commissioner Vince Russo walked out with a clipboard.

 

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: At 'Gang Wars: The Survival Series', the WWW title will be on the line in a 'Special Four Corner Elimination match' between Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, John Bradshaw Layfield and Kevin Nash. Hogan will enter the match after 10 minutes. Kevin Nash and John Bradshaw Layfield will have a match earlier in the night, the winner will enter the match after 5 minutes. The loser will start the match with Randy Savage.

 

PPV card:

Show #15

WWW's Gang Wars

 

FOR THE BIG GOLD BELT:

Triple H © v. Sting

 

WWW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:

Hulk Hogan © v. Randy Savage v. John Bradshaw Layfield v. Kevin Nash

(Savage starts. Hogan enters at 10 minutes)

 

WINNER ENTERS THE WORLD TITLE MATCH THIRD, LOSER STARTS THE MATCH:

Kevin Nash v. John Bradshaw Layfield

 

WAR GAMES:

The Axis of Evil (Sabu, Sadam and Team Taliban) v. Jim Duggan, Johnny Grunge, La Parka, and Los Immigrantes

 

ELIMINATION MATCH:

Nash's Army (Scott Hall, Lil Sexay, X-Pac, Kane and Lita) v. Team Reich (Sexual Harris-ment, Jyushin Lyger, Jerry Lynn and Chyna)

 

ELIMINATION MATCH:

Team Game (Lex Luger, Evil Sting, Bodydonna Skip and The Purple Cobras [Chuck Palumbo & Brakkus]) v. Team Deion (Deion Sanders, Stevie Ray, Meng, ReBorne and a partner)

 

ELIMINATION MATCH:

The Four Horsemen 2000 (Ric Flair, Dean Malenko and the ICP) [w/ Dustin Flair] v. David Flair, Sid and La Resistance

 

ELIMINATION MATCH:

Team Russo (Sylvan Grenier, Vince Russo and The Church of Sports Entertainment) v. Team Piper (Roddy Piper, Nathan Jones, Buff Bagwell and a partner)

 

ELIMINATION MATCH:

Alex Wright and three partners v. Jake Roberts and three partners

 

Any thoughts?

 

The post-card Top 10 contenders:

 

10- Ron Harris

09- Scorpio Jr

08- Sid

07- Jerry Lynn

06- Rey Mysterio Jr

05- Kevin Nash

04- ReBorne

03- Bestia Salvaje

02- Randy Savage

01- John Bradshaw Layfield

WH- Matthew Morgan

BG- Triple H

WT- Hulk Hogan

 

Next show!

 

Show #12

 

Hulk Hogan and Sting v. Triple H and Randy Savage

 

WWW TAG TEAM TITLES:

Jim Duggan & La Parka © v. Sadam and Sabu the Beheader

 

WORLD SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE:

Vince Russo © v. Meng

 

STRAP MATCH:

Sylvan Grenier v. Roddy Piper

 

Lil Sexay v. Jyushin Lyger

 

Dustin Flair & Ric Flair v. David Flair

 

Lex Luger v. Team Deion Member #5

 

Kane v. Scott Steiner and Jerry Lynn

 

The Purple Cobras v. The Lost Boyz

 

Team Taliban v. Los Immigrantes and Johnny Grunge

 

The Outsiders v. The Yakuza (Kenzo Suzuki, Gedo and Onryo)

 

Jake Roberts v. Buff Bagwell

 

ALEX WRIGHT INVITIONAL PIN-ONLY BATTLE ROYAL FOR A SPOT ON HIS TEAM w/ Kevin Sullivan as a referee:

Viscera, Maven, Glacier, Van Hammer, The Abortionist, Jimmy Snuka and The Road Dogg

(The winner gets an automatic spot on 'Das Wunderteam'. Two more wrestlers will be picked at the discretion of Wright and Sullivan)

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Guest La Marka
Also, apparently Maven is now a mime.

 

It's funny on several levels.

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