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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

SJL Crimson Card - Saturday, April 27th

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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

Your post-PPV edition of Crimson: A KingPhisto production!

 

SJL Crimson Card

Due Date: 3 PM board time on Saturday, April 27th

Venue: The All State Arena in Rosemont, Illinois!

 

NO-SHOW AND THOTH SPANKS YOU NO-DISQUALIFICATION MATCH - send to Suicide King

Jacob Helmsley vs. Xero vs. Johnny Generic

-Please guys, write.  You're both very good, but you write too infrequently.  This is a triple threat no-DQ match between Xero, Jake, and Johnny Generic.  I think Johnny Generic is 6'4", 260, and wears plain black trunks, but I'm not sure.  He does generic things.  If you don't write this, then I will get you a bus ticket to California.  You will ride the bus, and upon getting there, be thrown into Thoth's dorm room, where he will spank you violently while the latest Dance Dance Revolution mix plays in the background.  Please write, and we'll get you back up where you belong.  Like Raoul in Phantom of the Opera, that's all I ask of you.

WORD LIMIT: 3000

 

HARDCORE MATCH - send to TheBostonStrangler

Cutthroat vs. Kojack

-From a hardcore mall to standard hardcore.  They wet their chops in the Toy department, and now, they go at it in a falls-count-anywhere no-DQ brutal hardcore showdown.

WORD LIMIT: 3519

 

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH - FIRST FALL WINS - send to crusen86

Frost vs. Tod deKindes vs. T-Bone

-A former TV champion and an Icelandic brute who brawled in a mall meet up with Tod deKindes, the man who oh-so-nearly won the TV belt from TNT but was outwitted by a 15 minute draw.  Who'll win?  Whoever gets the first fall, that's who.

WORD LIMIT: 4003

 

TV TITLE MATCH - send to HVilleThugg

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson © vs. Vanguard

-Vanguard cleaned house and brought vengeance to shoppers everywhere, winning a TV title shot along the way.  He cashes it in ASAP against TNT, and the results should be A-OK.

WORD LIMIT: 4004

 

ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE EUROPEAN TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP - send to Suicide King

Poisyn vs. "Deathwish" Danny Williams vs. Insane Luchador

-Three men whose paths have intertwined and who all put in impressive showings at Absolution now lock up with a shot at Z's newly won European title on the line.  This is elimination style, and the last man alive will be going after Z sooner rather than later...

WORD LIMIT: 4427

 

In case you didn't notice, Stryke and Erek Taylor have been bumped to the WF, resulting in Stryke having to vacate the JL World Title!  Who'll be the next champion?  The winners of these next three matches will go on to Metal to fight it out and answer that question.  Guys, this is your chance to step up and show us what you've got!  Word limits are down only because I know you all wrote your butts off for the PPV.

 

WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH - send to TheBostonStrangler

Mafia vs. Z

-He returned to action in a brutal TLC match, and he the latter joined XF9 won the European Title at Absolution!  Now these two go at it for a chance at their first ever World Title shots!

WORD LIMIT: 5000

 

WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH - send to Suicide King

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. "Flunkmasta" Flexxx

-Flesher lost his Euro belt, but now's his chance to move on to even greener pastures!  Unfortunately for him, he's up against bad man extreme Flexxx, who came back and did some naughty things in a brutal TLC match.  

WORD LIMIT: 5000

 

MAIN EVENT - send to crusen86

WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

Ash Ketchum vs. Ced Ordonez

-It's a long fine tradition: the XF9 against itself match!  Tonight we'll see if Ced Ordonez has the stuff to truly step up and join the hallowed ranks of this esteemed group, as he takes on one of its most veteran members, Ash Ketchum!  The World Title has been just out of Ash's reach for so long, but with an impressive win over Jacob Helmsley at Absolution, he's got nowhere to go but up...

WORD LIMIT: 5000

 

That's your card, folks.  Impress us!

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Guest Thoth

Shoot!  I can't mark, I'm going out of town.  Please replace me. I'll be back on Sunday, though.

 

And if I get back and find Jake and Xero no-showed, I WILL write a promo with you getting on a bus.  And you know where it goes from there.  I want you to no-show.  Bad.  I want to write this promo.  I dare you.  Spite my dreams.

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Guest midnight_burn

The first show after my bumping, i don't know how you guys will get on without me.

 

But regardless, YOUR SJL World Heavyweight Champion certainly approves of this show, 6 very deserving men fighting for the right to follow in my footsteps.

 

There will no doubt be some very good matches, and i'll certainly look forward to reading them.

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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

Stryke, I love your quotes and how they fixate on da BUTT.

 

And Thoth, it's taken care of.  Kingy gets another matchy-poo!

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Guest CED Ordonez

I'm part of the ME scene again? Good gravy what has the world come to?

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Guest crusen86

Generic is actually 6'1". His weight is average for his height. It isn't exactly known, mainly because I use the metric system.

 

Oh, and if anyone gets the fall over Generic, they are awarded the jobbers title and will fight Cutthroat for a year. That is all.

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Guest ErekT2k

Stop complaining Ced and maybe you'll stay there. ;)

 

Good luck to those in the World Title scene. And I'll be rooting Z even more now because well, we haven't seen a Double Champion for sooooo long.

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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

Don't call it a comeback!  Johnny's been here for years!

 

Erm...let's see...uh...yeah.  This isn't spam.  Love the card!  Whee!

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Oh, um...in that case, King, could you send that segment I sent to you to Crusen? Or should I just do it myself? Sorry, I thought that you were posting the show.

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Guest

This is gonna be a kick-ass card. My match REEKED of Awesomeness, and I hope that match catapulted me towards a shot at the top...

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Thanks.

 

Now all that's left is winning my match.

 

*prays to the JL gods that he somehow beats Vanguard)*

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom

Um, is the show going to be posted at all or am I just staying up into the wee hours of the morning for nothing?

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