Classic Leon Sharpe (sorta)

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Here's all the stuff for that.. bare with me and the commentary-based match stuff

 

Date of matches: October 9th, 2001

 

First, the set up

 

"Earlier today..."

 

[We go to the parking lot, where we see a car pull up to the enterance. Out of that car comes the EWA tag team champion "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe. Sharpe has one belt over his shoulder and one over waist again. As Sharpe is walking up to the enterance.. Rob DiMarco is on the scene with a mic.]

 

Rob DiMarco- Thundergod, you are scheduled to wrestle four tag teams tonight for the belts, which will be a unique situation for anybody. Do you think you can defeat these four teams?

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- Well yes.. I am the tag team champion, therefore I will be able to defeat all four of these teams.

 

Rob DiMarco- Any word on who these teams will be?

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- Nope.. they may be appearing around the place but I will not name names for the match. Although I am facing some former tag team champions tonight. That is all..

 

[sharpe walks into the building]

 

and more set up

 

[sharpe is seen walking thru the back with the belts, following an executive around.]

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- Come on.. you couldn't give the belts to me last week but you should be able to do me a favor this week. It doesn't even override the authority of Stone.

 

Tom Stone's Assistant- I'm not gonna do that, it's a stupid idea for me to do that.

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- All you have to do is wear a mask and put on a good effort.

 

Tom Stone's Assistant- No. I'll get hurt bad.

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- Look, you will be doing what I asked you to do, it's no longer a request, it's a demand.

 

[sharpe hands the Assistant a mask that looks more like a jockstrap.]

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- good luck tonight asshole.

 

[The Scene shifts from Sharpe and the Suit to showing what appears to be the Rock'n'Roll Express drinking beer with the EMTs and two fat guys in leather.]

 

And a prematch interview

 

[We go to the back where Rachel Stevens is standing by.]

 

Rachel Stevens- Hello, we just got word that one of the teams that Leon Sharpe will be facing is demanding an interview.. yes, some team is demanding an interview. Please bare with us, I've seen them an...

 

"Salude el pato!"

 

Rachel Stevens- oh Jesus.. why me?

 

[We see two men with green masks, long beards, robes and head-dresses on walk onto the scene. One man is holding a framed picture of Osama Bin Laden while the other is huffing from a pipe.]

 

Madman #2 (with the picture)- Rachel Stevens, etgay youray eaddresshay onway andway overcay yourselfay, youay arlothay orewhay!

 

Madman #1 (with the pipe)- eonlay arpeshay! Youray agtay eamtay itlestay areway oonsay otay ecomebay ourway eltsbay! eway illway illkay youay iteywhay! eway illway eatbay youay illysay! AHAHAHAY! ELLTAY EMWAY ALYTAY!

 

Madman #2- EEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLWAY... eway otgay ethay infidelway eonlay arpeshay inway ethay ingray ithway ethay admenmay, ethay admenmay illway eatbay eonlay arpeshay otay eathday, eway avehay ourway atwafay onway eonlay arpeshay. eonlay arpeshay etterbay atchway outway orfay usway. eway oday itway allway orfay ethay ookienay, ethay ookienay, youay ancay aketay atthay ookiecay andway ickstay itway upway youray assway!

 

[The Afghan Madmen walk off as Rachel Stevens shakes her head in embarrassment.]

 

Rachel Stevens- I feel so dirty now... I need a shower..

 

[stevens shakes his head as we see what appears to be Shawn Vinson in the background in wrestling tights.]

 

And another interview

 

[We go to the back, where Leon Sharpe is standing by in street clothes with both tag team title belts over both shoulders of his and sunglasses on. Standing by him is Rachel Stevens.]

 

Rachel Stevens- I am back here with "Thundergod" Leon Sharpe.. the first man to hold both EWA Tag Team titles by himself and he will be facing four tag teams.

 

[sharpe smirks]

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- four teams against one man. It's almost a fair fight.. haha..

 

Rachel Stevens- We have shown hints of one team in this, our people have decoded that two men calling themselves the Afghan Madmen are facing you.

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- Yeah.. they are quite a tag team, who knew that Pushtu is so much like Pig Latin. Heck, that's the most that the Muslims have to do pork. Anyways, I don't care about those guys, I got some people to find them. They are nutcases, at least they are sane enough to wear masks. They are the fairest skinned Afghanis you will ever meet also.

 

Rachel Stevens- Anyways, do you see any difficulty with this match?

 

"Thundergod" Leon Sharpe- No, not at all. I know who I am facing, You all don't.

 

[sharpe smirks again and walks out of the scene.]

 

Ready yet?

 

Chris Myers- The next matches is scheduled for one fall and THEY ARE FOR THE EWA TAG TEAM TITLES..

 

"THUNDERGOD!"

 

[That word is heard before "Dragula" by Rob Zombie starts to play]

 

Chris Myers- Introducing first.. standing 6'10 and weighing in at 303 pounds, from Kingman, Arizona, The EWA Tag Team champion... "THUUUNNNNNDERGOD" LEON SHARPE!

 

[sharpe gets down to the ring to boos from the crowd and faint cheers.]

 

["Rock and Roll all Night" by KISS starts to blare thru the speakers]

 

Chris Myers- and his first opponents.. introducing first, weighing in at 557 pounds, from Pensacola, Florida... Robert Gibson, and his partner from Memphis, TN... Ricky Morton.. The Rock'n'Roll Express!

 

Eddie Sensation- Holy Shit! Leon Sharpe dug up the Rock'n'Roll Express?

 

The Informer- The RNR Express, not known for winning in the EWA, but they have held tag team gold before..

 

Vic Canon- Ricky Morton starting here with Leon Sharpe.. Ricky with a dropkick and SHARPE JUST STANDS THERE. Morton with another dropkick and Sharpe is laughing at him.

 

Eddie Sensation- Ricky always took the beatings. That never changes, does it?

 

The Informer- Morton with a high cross body and Sharpe catches him, Sharpe to the corner, Oklahoma Powerslam by Sharpe.

 

Vic Canon- It might be best for the RNR Express to double-team Sharpe..

 

Eddie Sensation- or take a countout loss.

 

Vic Canon- Ricky Morton now trying for an atomic drop on Sharpe, SHARPE REVERSES INTO A BELLY TO BELLY! Morton is flying into his own corner. He makes the tag to Robert Gibson! Gibson charges Sharpe... HOLY SHIT! SHARPE JUST WALLOPED GIBSON WITH A LARIAT! Gibson must be feeling like he has a concussion.

 

Eddie Sensation- then again, it's his fault for charging a 300lb man, this isn't 1986 anymore Robert, your fat 50 year old ass is grass.

 

The Informer- Sharpe is just taunting Gibson, Sharpe has Gibson up... OH MY GOD...

 

Eddie Sensation- EXPLODER! EXPLODER SUPLEX BY SHARPE!

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe just threw Morton into the ring. Morton and Gibson charge with a double lariat and Sharpe catches them.. DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! Sharpe is making a cover on Gibson..

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE..

 

Chris Myers- Your winner of the first match, and still EWA Tag Team champion, "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe.

 

Chris Myers- Introducing second..

 

"Here comes the Axis, and here comes the Smasher.. called Demolision... walking disasters!"

 

[A ripped off version of Demolition's theme song plays thru the speakers]

 

Chris Myers- accompanied to the ring by Mr. Fuji, they are Axis.. Smasher.. Demolision!

 

[bill Eadie and Barry Darsow walk out in the ring gear of Demolition.]

 

Eddie Sensation- This is Brillant! Sharpe is gonna take out Demolition.

 

Vic Canon- This note that I just recieved says that the name Demolition is a copyright of the World Wrestling Federation and therefore, somebody is gonna get sued if they screw this up. These guys are Axis and Smasher.

 

The Informer- Axis.. with an axhandle to Sharpe. Sharpe doesn't feel that at all. Axis tags to Smasher, Smasher with a forearm to Sharpe, Smasher is trying to choke Sharpe..

 

Eddie Sensation- He's going for a chokeslam!

 

Vic Canon- and Sharpe shrugs that off.. CHOKESLAM BY SHARPE! Smash must have been 10 feet up. Axis comes in, facerake by Axis, eye gouge, Sharpe just thumped him with a forearm.. TWO HANDED CHOKESLAM TO AXIS! Sharpe is just obliterating Demolition.

 

Eddie Senasation- because both of them are not the tag team that Leon Sharpe is. End of story.

 

The Informer- but Mr. Fuji is on the ring apron and he had something in his hand.

 

Eddie Sensation- It's the ceremonial salt that all evil Japanese guys like to use, Sharpe better watch out, Fuji's aiming upwards..

 

Vic Canon- FUJI THROWS THE SALT, SHARPE JUST LEAPED UP! SHARPE TAKES THE SALT IN THE CHIN! Sharpe brushes off the salt and Mr. Fuji is leaving.

 

The Informer- Mr. Fuji doesn't want to bother with Leon Sharpe. But, Sharpe is leaving to ring to chase down Fuji.

 

Eddie Sensation- Fuji deserves it.. you don't throw ceremonial salt at the Thundergod and get away with it, no matter how old you are.

 

Vic Canon- SHARPE HITS FUJI WITH A RIGHT HAND! POWERBOMB ON THE ENTERANCE TO MR. FUJI! Smash with an ax-handle to the back on Sharpe. Sharpe throws Smash into the ringsteps. Ax off the apron with an ax-handle. Sharpe avoids it, Ax gets thrown into the ringside barrier. Sharpe throws Smash into the ring.

 

Eddie Sensation- Sharpe is taking Demolision or whatever the hell they are being called, we aren't calling them by their bullshit names.

 

The Informer- Sharpe with a front-layout suplex to Smash.

 

Eddie Sensation- Ax is getting on the apron.

 

Vic Canon- and Sharpe throws him into the ring.

 

The Informer- Sharpe with a big boot to Smash. Sharpe lifting Ax up for a suplex, JACKHAMMER VARIATION BY SHARPE!

 

Eddie Sensation- I wouldn't be suprised if Sharpe found a way to win without even using the LS Special once. Sharpe is just that damn good.

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe lays Smash down first and he lays Ax over the knee of Smash.

 

Eddie Sensation- It's a one man Demolition Decapitation!

 

The Informer- Sharpe up to the top rope, ELBOWDROP FROM THE TOP TO AX! Sharpe makes a cover on Smash.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

Chris Myers- Your winner of the second match, and still EWA Tag Team champion, "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe!

 

Chris Myers- Introducing third..

 

["Rock the Casbah" by the Clash starts blasting thru the speakers]

 

[Note from June 2004: Afghanistan isn't around a casbah]

 

Chris Myers- From Kabul, Afghanistan..

 

[We hear loud boos start up and a chant of "USA" start. We hear parts of the audience chanting "Fuck Bin Laden".]

 

Chris Myers- Madman #1.. Madman #2.. The Afghan Madmen!

 

Vic Canon- In the great tradition of the Iron Shiek, General Adnan, Mr. Saito and Nikolai Volkoff, these two are probably the first Afghanis around wrestling.

 

Eddie Sensation- and the crowd does not like them at all. Especially with that framed picture of Bin Laden.

 

The Informer- Why should these guys be liked? they are idiots.

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe throws Madman.. Madman #1, I think.. into the ring and starts pounding him hard. Sharpe throws Madman Uno into the corner.

 

The Informer- and Sharpe is choking him hard while the referee is holding back the other Madman.

 

Eddie Sensation- Oh come on, turn around Ref!

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe ends the choke and he throws Madman #1 into his own corner, Madman charges and Sharpe hits him with a back body drop, Sharpe reaches onto the Apron for that picture.

 

"FUCK BIN LADEN! *clapclap* *clapclapclap*"

 

Eddie Sensation- can we turn that down? My children would be watching.

 

The Informer- Madman #1 ambushes Sharpe and Sharpe throws him over the top rope.  The ref is going to count Madman #1, Madman #2 is in the ring and Sharpe had the picture.

 

*KAZAWAM*

 

Vic Canon- SHARPE JUST HIT THAT MADMAN WITH THAT PICTURE!

 

Eddie Sensation- Turn around Ref! This is a screwjob!

 

The Informer- Madman #1 in the ring now, Sharpe with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to #1, Sharpe lifts #2 up..

 

Vic Canon- POWERBOMB!

 

[We hear fans chanting "Four more times" and Sharpe is nodding.]

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe lifts up #2, POWERBOMB! #1 is getting to his feet.

 

The Informer- Sharpe with a forearm to the face of #1, #1 goes thru the ropes, Sharpe back to #2..

 

Vic Canon- POWERBOMB! Sharpe is lifting #2 back up.. POWERBOMB! Sharpe lifting #2 back up again, POWERBOMB!

 

The Informer- FIVE POWERBOMBS TO #2! STICK A FORK IN HIM! HE IS DONE!

 

Eddie Sensation- This is sadistic! Can't the ref see the glass in the ring? Does he want to see it? Sharpe is unleashing some saturation bombing to this man like the US did yesterday to Afghanistan.

 

Vic Canon- Do I give a shit if the referee is biased against these guys? This is entertaining for some reason, just sit back and enjoy it Eddie, I doubt the Madmen will come back to the EWA.

 

The Informer- #1 back into the ring, Stungun to #1, Sharpe drops an elbow on the throat of #2 and he is going for the pin!

 

Eddie Sensation- He is not the legal man... although does it ever matter nowadays?

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

Chris Myers- Your winner of the third match, and STILL the EWA tag team champion, "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe.

 

Vic Canon- Sharpe is pulling out scissors and he is putting them to the masks of those two men.

 

*snipsnip*

 

The Informer- hey! wait a minute here! those aren't Afghanis and those beards were fake!

 

Eddie Sensation- see what sensationalism can do to us? Sharpe just beat up two pale guys who were the closest to Afghan when they were sleeping under an afghan blanket in bed.

 

Vic Canon- It appears that those Madmen are as much Afghanis as me and you. It's not like they didn't deserve five powerbombs for being jackasses. Sharpe took targeted action against idiots.

 

[note from June 2004: Man, that match doesn't age well]

 

Chris Myers- anyways, introducing fourth..

 

["Who let the dogs out" by the Baha Men starts playing thru the loudspeakers.]

 

Chris Myers- first, from Tampa, Florida, "The Perfect Creation" Shawn Vinson!

 

Eddie Sensation- wait, isn't that Sharpe's lackey? he's gonna wrestle Sharpe? god damnit.. this smells more of fish than sushi!

 

Vic Canon- I don't think Sharpe is gonna accept an easy win, he's gonna beat somebody viciously to win.

 

Chris Myers- and his partner..

 

["I'm like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado starts to play thru the loudspeakers..]

 

Chris Myers- America's favorite Tom Stone staffer, hailing from Parts Unknown.. JUSTIN MONTOYA!

 

[Justin Montoya, aka the Tom Stone staffer is being physically forced out to the ring in a jockstrap mask and jeans.]

 

Vic Canon- Justin Montoya? damnit, his name is not Justin Montoya.

 

The Informer- It will have to do for now.. Sharpe charges Montoya and Montoya is out running. Vinson throws Montoya into the ring.

 

Eddie Sensation- Let him run!

 

Vic Canon- I might agree with you here. Sharpe hits Montoya with a big boot. Sharpe picks Montoya up and a chokeslam to Montoya.

 

The Informer- Sharpe is moving the limp body over to Vinson.

 

Eddie Sensation- It's gonna be a hot tag.. well, if Montoya can get over to the corner without Sharpe helping him.

 

Vic Canon- and Vinson reluctantly tags in. Vinson is offering Sharpe a handshake..

 

Eddie Sensation- and Sharpe takes it!

 

The Informer- Sharpe is now being offered a hug by Vinson, BELLY TO BELLY BY SHARPE! Sharpe waits until Vinson gets up, clothesline!

 

Vic Canon- Montoya is slumped over in the corner. Sharpe throws Vinson into that corner, Vinson springs over and behind Sharpe, Vinson trying for a German suplex, elbow to the face by Sharpe, Suplex by Sharpe.

 

Eddie Sensation- this seems to be somewhat competitive, maybe being a toadie for Sharpe wisened Vinson up to how to face the man.

 

The Informer- Sharpe with an elbowdrop to Vinson. Sharpe picks up Vinson, Butterfly Suplex and a cover..

 

One..

 

Two..

 

Vic Canon- and a kickout by Vinson, the first kickout of this match.

 

Eddie Sensation- You won't pin a young guy like Vinson with a butterfly suplex, you gotta do something vicious to him.

 

Vic Canon- Vinson back up, dropkick to Sharpe and Sharpe shrugs it off, Sharpe goes off the ropes and Dropkick to Vinson!

 

Eddie Sensation- How often do you see a big man like Sharpe doing a dropkick? How often does he need to do one?

 

The Informer- Sharpe picks Vinson up and he smacks Vinson across the face.

 

Eddie Sensation- now, that is an insult.

 

The Informer- DISCONNECTION! SHARPE'S VARIATION OF THE TOMBSTONE DELIEVERED TO VINSON! He has to be out now. Sharpe picks up Montoya out of the corner.

 

Eddie Sensation- what a nice move by Sharpe here, he rarely unleashes the Tombstone.

 

Vic Canon- SHARPE HITS THE LSS ON THAT POOR MAN!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE! It's over!

 

Chris Myers- Your winner of the match, and still EWA Tag Team champion, "The Thundergod" Leon Sharpe!

 

Nothing like going down "Squash" road, beating up real guys, and all that. Sharpe also countered the ceremonial salt. I think that the match order is fucked, the best match was first.

 

Man, I have alot of this stuff saved.