Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Those of us who aren’t deaf hear “I Like” by Katy Rose play. Those of who aren’t blind see the opening video. And those of us who can’t get any play settle in for another episode of OAOAST.... The show opens inside the arena, sans any opening theme, pyro display, or roaring crowd. Instead, the fans are booing loudly, as the arena lights shine down on a lone figure, standing in center ring. He is the Savior of the OAOAST. He is The Franchise. He is the World Heavyweight Champion. ZACK MALIBU stands in the ring, dressed casually in jeans and a grey New York Rangers T-shirt. Despite his laid back appearance, the look on the champions face says otherwise, as he stands in the ring, snarling at the crowd. The fans are already on him tonight, as a chant of "Zack's A Hack" breaks out, spreading like wildfire from the floor level all the way to the cheap seats. Malibu tenses up, arching his eyebrow at the crowd, as he's ready to respond. MALIBU Shut up...shut up...WOULD EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!? As if the crowd would listen. Instead, the chant gets stronger and louder, with nearly every fan in the house participating. "ZACK'S A HACK!" "ZACK'S A HACK!" Refusing to be belittled by the "lowlife scum", Malibu takes the mic to his lips again, ready to unleash a verbal barrage of hate on the crowd. MALIBU Look at you people, each and every one of you, acting as if you're better than me. You people think you can talk down to me? ME? Do you know who I am? You should all be kissing my ass for helping keep this company in business! You wouldn't be here without me! The crowd does not respond in kind. Malibu could care less. MALIBU What, are you people mad you didn't get your bootleg Fourth of July fireworks display? Tough shit. I called opening spot tonight for a very good reason. I wanted to come out here and talk about someone who hasn't been taking their job very seriously as of late. COACH Mikey, you're in trouble! COLE ME? CABOOSE If anyone in this booth is going, it's got to be the Walking Hard-On next to me. COACH That's what I said...Mikey! MALIBU See, last time I checked, we had a big pay per view coming up in just (holds one finger up to the camera) one week. In one week, I'm stuck defending my title, the belt that menas more to this sport than any other person or any other thing, against a girl who must have listened to too many Spice Girls songs in her day. Crystal, you think this "girl power" phenomenon is something to be proud of? Honey, let's face it...I'm the star, and YOU...YOU are the novelty act! "Female Phenom"? What the hell are you trying to prove...that you're as butch as us guys? Or are you just a groupie that's happy to get all sweaty with the muscle men because that's how you get off? COLE Uncalled for. CABOOSE Coachman's fantasizing about it. The men, I mean. MALIBU Not to mention, Crystal, that this title shot means soooooooo much to you...yet last week, here on HeldDOWN~! you were nowhere to be found! Not even doing an interview...not even drawing hype to yourself! You have done nothing...NOTHING that makes me think you deserve this title shot! You sit at home, or wherever you were, and watch me come out here and take on all comers, week in and week out? Now, some people might call that "smart strategy". You've all seen the caliber of talent I've had to deal with, and a lot of you think I'm wearing myself thin. You're all wrong however...I'm merely tuning up, not because I need to, but because I want to. I want to be in prime condition come License To Pin. I want to be on top of my game just to show you, Crystal, just to prove to you that you will never, EVER, reach my level IN YOUR LIFE! You say that you want the playing field even this time around? Honey, it was NEVER even, because I'm *that* much better than you, and then some. You are a JOKE. You think that because you got a fluke pin over me IN A TAG MATCH, or that you made me submit in a match with SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN IT, that it makes you a threat to me? Chrissy, it makes you LUCKY! All you are is a dreamer. You have aspirations of gold, but your talent lies in a cesspool. You know why these people love you, Crystal? It's because they don't know any better! These two-toothed, mongoloid scumpuppets think that a pair of breasts makes you their queen...and those are just the female fans! Don't even get me started on these guys out here, who's only experience with a vagina was when they exited their mothers! COLE That is just...folks, we apologize! MALIBU (looking into the camera, heated) I have had it...HAD IT with you people! I have had it with people who think they can take advantage of who I am, using my celebrity to get ahead. I'm sick and tired of this company leeching off my name because I once made the mistake of giving a damn about it. I am SICK AND TIRED of the Sly's, the Northstar's, the Leon Rodez's, the Michael Cole's, the Josh Matthews', the camera men...EVERYONE, ALL OF YOU, YOU ALL MAKE A LIVING BECAUSE OF ME, AND YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY? IT HAS GOT TO STOP! IT IS GOING TO STOP! IT IS GOING...it's going to stop. Crystal, you've chosen this path for yourself, and now this is what comes to pass. Next week, come License To Pin, the subtitle is right...This Ain't Oz. I realize it's a nice play on words given the popularity of the HBO show, but it's also got a nice reference to the classic Wizard of Oz story. It's just that Crystal, you aren't Dorothy, and the yellow brick road is only going to lead you to a world of hurt. I tried to tell you, and I've even tried to show you that this feud, it can't lead to any good for you. Next week, at License To Pin, it's what it all comes down to. I'm going to walk down that aisle, look you in the eye, and when it's all said and done, you'll be in the one position you seem to enjoy the most...flat on your back! With that, Malibu tosses the mic over his shoulder and exits the ring, as the fans jeer wildly. "Nothing" kicks up to signal Zack's exit from the arena, as he avoids any contact with fans while heading up the ramp. We then cut over to Sofa Central, as our fearless hosts are FINALLY ready to welcome us to tonights show. COLE Folks, I’m deeply sorry you had to had sit through that bitter tirade. The champ has lost it. And soon he’ll lose his belt also. I am Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and Jonathan Coachman and we are live from Santa Fe, New Mexico. What a show we have planned for you tonight. COACH We’ve got ass, titties, and big booty bitches as the devilish diva, Candie takes on the fitness model from hell, Krista Isadora Duncan! Plus, Drek Stone takes on my man, Sly! And Hoff will be in action against the future Mrs.Coachman, Crystal! CABOOSE And we’ll be back! (Go to break) Edited July 23, 2004 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 (edited) (Return from break) The camera cuts away to show Drek Stone walking happily down a long hallway, with the Italian Championship hefted over his right shoulder. The fans immediately begin to boo upon seeing Drek appear on the screen, but it doesn’t seem to affect him in the slightest. He continues to walk contentedly, right past two teamsters sitting nearby. TEAMSTER Good evening, Mr. Stone. How are you? Drek continues to stroll down the hallway, completely ignoring the man’s greeting. TEAMSTER Well, anyway……good luck with the Mad Cappa tonight. Drek suddenly stops in his tracks, and turns around slowly to face the man. DREK ……good luck with the Mad Cappa? After all my weeks of dominating the guy, why would you choose to have such an absurd thought tonight? TEAMSTER Oh….well, no reason. It was just that we saw the Mad Cappa stomp around here a few minutes ago with a baseball bat. He went back that way. You must have just missed him. He looked really mad, so I just wanted to wish you good luck with him tonight. Drek shoots a long stare at the teamster. DREK ….r-really…..I-I’m pretty surprised he’s here tonight. Well, it doesn’t matter either way. To be polite, you can shove your luck up your ass. And if the Mad Cappa wants me, tell him where I am. I have no problem humiliating that gavone once again. Drek then starts to walk down the hallway again, this time a little bit faster. However, he’s going the opposite direction of where the teamster pointed out the Mad Cappa went. TEAMSTER But Mr. Stone, where should I tell him to look for you? Drek completely ignores the man’s comments, but continues to march down the corridor. He begins to scream the Mad Cappa’s name irately, trying to pass off the image that he actually is looking for the former Puerto Rican Champion. However, there seems to be another emotion mixed in with that anger. Could it be apprehension? Could it be fear? DREK Come on, Cappa!! You’re here tonight, aren’t you?! Got a big baseball bat you’re ready to use? Well, I’m right here, Cappa! Drek pounds his fist against a nearby door. DREK I’M HERE, CAPPA! NOW’S THE TIME TO GET YOUR REVENGE!! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE ARE….. Drek finally reaches the end of the corridor, and looks ready to head through the double doors. However, he suddenly stops in mid-sentence and tilts his head to the left. In the distance, there can be some loud screaming heard. DREK Is…..Is that you, Cappa?! CAPPA!!! The voice starts to get a little clearer, and it becomes more obvious that the person is starting to move closer to the camera. Finally, the crowd is able to hear what the screaming is all about. ??? WHERE ARE YOU, CALVIN?! You son of a bitch……I HAVE SOMETHING WORSE THAN A PAIR OF SCISSORS PLANNED FOR YOU!! The fans start cheering excitedly as they finally realize that this is Sly Sommers having his own rampage through the hall. The double doors that Drek was just standing in front of are abruptly kicked open, and Drek finds himself standing face-to-face with Sly. Sly has a large bandage taped across his forehead, showing remnants of the Calvin Szechstein scissors attack from last week. The two stare at each other for a second, until Drek speaks first with a grin across his face. DREK Well…..how you doin, Sly? You look a little bit angry there. SLY Drek, I don’t suggest you pick tonight to try and pick a fight with me. I really think you should just TELL ME WHERE CALVIN IS!! After all, I wouldn’t want you to miss your Hell-in-a-Cell match next Sunday. DREK Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it. But the truth is I’m a little bit worried about your condition. I mean….I know unsightly bandages across the forehead are all the rage these days, and I’m sure you’re finally happy to get one. But if you can, I would suggest you stay away from people with scissors. Don’t you know how dangerous that could be? SLY …….I’ll take that suggestion into consideration. Might I also suggest that it might be for the best if you grew a set of BALLS? Immediately after the latest remark, the fans begin to cheer loudly. SLY Because, as I’m sure you know….you haven’t defended that Italian title in two weeks. And it could be bad for your future if you don’t get some practice in before you face The Mad Cappa at “License To Pin.” I hope you know what I’m getting at here. DREK I do……but I honestly hope you’re joking. Look at you. You’re in no condition to fight ANYBODY tonight. And now….if I’m right here….you’re honestly making a challenge for my Italian Championship here tonight? SLY – with a sneer As much as I’d love to get my hands on Calvin Szechstein tonight – oh, and I vow I will – I might love it even more to snatch that gold away from your arrogant ass. DREK Well then….you’re in luck, friend. Because I was looking to school somebody else tonight, and I think you’re exactly the type of person I was looking for. And just like I dominated your heated rival two weeks ago, I know I won’t have any problems doing the same tonight. SLY Oh, I know you would think that. But keep one thing in mind……I’m not Calvin Szechstein. I’m FAR FROM IT! I have more talent than Calvin Szechstein, I’m a better ring general than he is…..and, just so I’m perfectly honest, I do the kinds of things in that ring that Calvin would never even dream of. I go further than that asshole would ever go. And tonight, you wil be the perfect witness to that. Congratulations, Drek. You’re in for a long night. Sly walks back the other way, once again going through the double doors. Drek stares at Sly for a few seconds, then turns his attention to his Italian belt. DREK He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You’re not going anywhere tonight. I promise…… *The camera slowly fades away as Drek stares at his Italian Championship, somewhat uncertain….* (Go to break) (After break) Stephen Joseph So I asked a question TWO weeks ago. Who will challenge Stephen Joseph? Last week, no one showed up to answer the call. Now, there's still no one signed up for tonight, and I'm standing in the ring, in my GOOD clothes. ANYONE back there with any gut check at all? Cole He's been out here since we started commercials last break Caboose He's a windbag with a point. I don't think we'll see him in action tonight Cole And why not Mr. Analyst? Caboose Because no one is stupid enough. Please, its a trap. Stephen Joseph Any... CUE: "You Sexy Thing" Leon Rodez (walking out) Yo, S Jizzle~! Hey baby ::towards a blonde next to the ramp:: Popick, the man. Man weren't you like, champion two years ago or something before Dan Black knocked your neck around so you could kiss your own ass? Caboose I'd like to point out that I retired him first, thank you. Cole Does this have to be about you? Caboose It was about me last night Cole ... Leon Rodez (walking towards the ring, taking off his robe) Yo, Loverbirds over there. Stop yakking. Now Popey, man, I'm always up for a good time, but I wasn't around last week, cause I was you know, having a good time. But ::yawns:: I could use the exercise for a few minutes, you know, get limber for Ms. ? ::turns to the blonde:: Ms. Tonight over there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Stephen Joseph So in other words, you're accepting my challenge. Leon Rodez Yeah dawg, that's why I'm here. ::slides into the ring:: We gonna go or what? Stephen Joseph You'll do. ::DING:: Leon claps his hands to get the crowd going, and makes for SJ with a hook and collar. SJ bites and goes to clasp on, but Leon Rodez slides down under SJ's legs and pulls them out, sending SJ crashing down towards the mat to the laughter of the crowd. Leon puffs and jogs around as Stephen Joseph glares back from the mat. Leon comes over with a handshake gesture to Stephen, who looks at it and spits on the outstretched arm. Rodez gets pissed and begins to unload some rights and lefts on SJ, sending him into the closest corner turnbuckle. Rodez whips Popick to the other side. Popick hits back first and stumbles onto one knee facing Rodez, who pops out a SHINING WIZARD~! Cole WHATAMOVE! Rodez covers, but gets only a 1 count. (Crowd: Rodez!) Rodez pulls Popick back up and places him in the corner, and begins to mound him from the second rope for a count-a-long. Stephen wakes up before it can commence, and dumps Rodez to the outside to buy some time. Rodez slides back in, clutching his back, as Stephen hangs over him, grabbing at his throat with two hands. Popick goes for the Synchronicity, but Rodez scissors the addomen to hold on. Leon then pulls back and over scissoring Popick's neck and snapping back with a standing hurricanrana pin! 1! 2! Kickout! Leon motions to the crowd, and TO THE LADIES~! who squeal. Picking up Stephen Joseph, Leon pulls him up and down with a hard scoop slam, placed perfectly near the turnbuckle. Leon scales up the turnbuckle, posing and gyrating for the fun of it all. He turns around to face SJ lying on the mat, when the crowd boos! Rodez looks left, but Vitamin X is on his right, Vitamin tries to pull Leon down, but Leon Rodez kicks him in the head! BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES! Stephen Joseph Moves! Leon Rodez lands on his feet! Joseph with the Synchronicity Lock. He pulls up and turns around, Leon flipping downwards, head between Joseph's legs. Synchronicity V3! 1! 2! 3! Vitamin X, Lindsey Gonzalez, and the rest of the Lightning Crew then enter the ring, standin gover Leon as he gets up. THE LIGHTS GO DOWN. The AngleTron lights up! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5! LIGHTS ON! And after what seemed like more than a minute, we see what has happened. 4 masked men in black clothes stand in the ring at each turnbuckle, with Stephen Joseph in the middle, and the Lightning crew laying in and out of the ring. Leon Rodez is walking up the ramp, looking like he doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to get into the middle. Cole Who are these men, What do they have to do with this match? Caboose I don't know, but I wouldn't want to be Popick...ever! Stephen looks left, right, back, forward. He's surrounded by these four strangers. They stare back, if you call being masked and unmoving staring. One finally moves, walking up to Stephen Joseph and he slowly traces a "5" on Joseph's chest, pointing back at him after doing so. THE LIGHTS GO OFF 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... And the come on, and on the AngleTron an ominous warning. "10 days left Stephen." COACH Ten days left until what? CABOOSE Until your fired, hopefully! NEXT! CALIFORNIA LOVE!!!! COLE Whoa! We weren’t expecting Parka out here tonight. COACH Hey any time my homey G is out here is fine by me. CABOOSE Homey G?? *The El Camino pulls out onto the stage and bounces for the fans before coming to a stop. Parka steps out and raises his arms in the air as the fans cheer and then walks down to the ring and grabs a mic.* PARKA I know I’m not scheduled to be out here, but I have something to say, so the people in the back can just deal with it! Last week J. Arthur Edwards and Cain picked on the wrong man. They attacked Eddy to get to Rick, but they didn’t think about just who they were pissing off! *The fans cheer* PARKA If J. Arthur won’t fight Rick then maybe he’ll fight me!! *The fans cheer louder* PARKA At License to Pin I want J. Arthur in the ring and I want it No Holds Barred! It’s time I got back to doing what I do best and that’s dishing out some violence! *The fans cheer again* PARKA Now before I go I want to bring out Rick Edwards because I’ve got something to say. *Parka lowers the mic and waits and after a few seconds Tear Away by Drowning Pool starts.* COLE Looks like Rick is on his way out. CABOOSE Wow you’re so observant Cole. *Rick comes out in street clothes and the fans give a mixed reaction as they still are not sure what to think of him. Rick makes his way to the ring and grabs a mic of his own.* RICK What do you want? PARKA I know you want J. Arthur in the ring in the worst way right now, but if he’s not going to accept then I want him in the ring as you just heard. I need to know that we’re cool on this. I know you’re still on the fence as far as trusting me and I’m not sure if I can trust you yet. So we have to be on the same page here! RICK If he’s gonna keep dodging me then I’ll at least be somewhat satisfied as long as someone is kicking his ass. If you want him then by all means go for it, but save a piece of him for me, because I plan on fighting him somewhere…somehow. PARKA That’s all I needed to hear. He… WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!! COLE What the hell?? *Parka and Rick look around to see where the voice is coming from when suddenly JAE appears on stage* J. ARTHUR No one talks about me behind my back! Parka if you want a match then you come to me first instead of blabbering about it in front of these peons! PARKA So is that a yes or a no? J. ARTHUR You’re putting me in a bad situation. You see I might be in court… PARKA Just answer the damn question because you’re starting to sound like a pussy. *The fans chant “You’re a pussy!!” and JAE covers his ears.* J. ARTHUR Shut up!! Fine! I’ll wrestle you Parka. You I have no problem whooping, but Rick like I said before we're not fighting because even though you turned your back we're still family and I'm gonna make you see that! RICK We will fight sooner or later. You can’t duck me forever! J. ARTHUR You know what Rick…we won’t fight until I say so, because we’re doing things my way. RICK Is that so? J. ARTHUR Yes it is and to show you how serious I am I’ve brought you a present. *Christopher Cain comes out onto the stage pulling Leah Blackstone by the hair. Rick looks pissed as the fans boo loudly.* COLE Oh God no! J. ARTHUR I control the way things are going to go down! Do you understand!? RICK Don’t do this! J. ARTHUR I said I was going to show you how serious I am, so this is no idle threat. Do it Cain! *Cain lifts Leah in a Gorilla Press and tosses her off the stage and through a table!* COLE No!!!! My God he could have killed her!! CABOOSE Damn!! *The crowd chants “Holy Shit” as Parka and Rick exit the ring. Parka runs up the ramp and chases JAE and Cain off before jumping down to check on Leah. Rick walks over with a dazed look on his face and his skin is pale white. Rick places his hands on his head as he shakes his head. The trainers come out to check on Leah as we go to a break* (Go to break) Edited July 23, 2004 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 (edited) (Return from break) The heavily synthesized “Party All The Time” plays through the loud speakers signaling the arrival of one half of the Saints, Logan Mann. COLE Logan’s entrance music reminds me of why I don’t love the 80's. CABOOSE Logan? Logan Mann? He’s coming out here? (Caboose breaks into a sweat and starts to use his hand to fan himself) Oh my god. Oh my god. Be calm, Caboose! Be calm! Indeed it is Logan Mann who steps out from the sliding doors. Logan stops at the top of the entrance ramp and treats us to a little “Machine Head” on the air guitar as multicolor spotlights race around the arena at a dizzying pace. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the special guest commentator for this match....LOGAN MANN! The announcement is met wild cheers from the teenage girls in the audience. Logan makes sure to blow them a special kiss, while at the same time thinking how he wouldn’t touch them with a fifty foot pole covered in a fifty foot condom. COLE Caboose, you don’t look so good. CABOOSE (sweating even more) Logan’s coming down here! I’ve never been this close to a true celebrity before! COACH Who are we? CABOOSE You? You’re not fit to lick Pauley Shore’s jock. Wearing his hair in a pony tail and decked out in red leather pants and a dark blue Logan struts on over to the announce table. He puts on a headset and greets his partners. LOGAN What is up, Triple C? CABOOSE O MI GOD! LOGAN! Logan, will you sit next to me? LOGAN All the seats seem to be taken. (Caboose shoves Cole out of his chair, knocking the skinny announcer to the floor!) CABOOSE One just opened up! LOGAN Thank ya much, Boo-Boo. CABOOSE Did you hear that Coach? He called me Boo-Boo! COACH I call you Boo-Boo all the time and you always threaten to dip me in a pool of flesh melting acid! "Party All The Time" cuts out and “I want Candy” hits and the crowd vocally shows their displeasure! COACH Candie? Somebody please shoot me. CABOOSE & COLE Gladly! The doors separating the backstage from the arena slide away and out comes Candie. She’s sitting on a throne with her legs crossed and eyes glaring disapprovingly at the fans Her throne is being carried by four shirtless, tall, dark and definitely handsome men. COLE (staring at the tanned guy with bleach blonde hair to the left of Candie) I’m so jealous.....of the guys! Because they get to carry Candie to the ring. And Candie’s hot and I like hot women because I’m not gay. Nope. Not gay. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall now making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California......CANDIE! The men set the throne down and help Queen Candie to her feet. They lift her onto the ring apron and the guy who Cole was checking out holds the ropes open for Candie so she has easy access to the ring. Candie motions for her man slaves to be gone and they exit without question. Clad in a feminine version of her boyfriends ring gear, Candie climbs to the top ropes and basks in the “cheers” of the crowd The heavy bass of JoJo’s hit song “Leave”out of the loud speakers as the crowd rises to their feet waiting to see who will be the one to kick Candie’s ass into next week. COLE Ah ha! I know why you’re out here Logan. When the up tempo but emotionally pained chorus hits the doors part and Krista Isadora Duncan steps out from the back. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at one hundred and fifty five pounds...uh......KRISTA! LOGAN There she is, gentlemen. The apple of my eye. The reason I exist. She is the Yin, I am the Yang. She is the magnificent sun and I am the lowly earth. My existence revolves around her. Sporting a pair of low cut jeans that have a tiny stars embroidered with little sparking gold buttons and reveal a purple thong , Krista heads towards the ring, fixing her eyes on Candie. Krista slides underneath the ring ropes and enters the squared circle. Candie moves towards the center of ring, smirking at Krista. The ref calls for the bell. *ding ding* Krista Isadora Duncan grabs a hold of Candie’s arm and tosses the blonde bombshell into the corner! Krista stomps her feet against the mat, then charges towards Candie, leaping into the air and splashing her chest into Candie’s face! LOGAN Hey Coach, how much do we have to pay to get her do that to us? COACH HOLLA! Candie tries to stumble out of the corner, but Krista wraps her hand around her ostrich length neck and slams her back against the turnbuckle! “WHOO!” The crowd shouts as Krista tries to rip apart Candie’s flesh with a knife edge chop! “WHOO!” Another chop! “WHOO!” Another! Sick of hearing the phrase and feeling the move that Ric Flair made famous, Candie boots Krista in the gut ending the assault and giving her time to stagger out of the corner. Candie grabs Krista and whips her into the ropes. Candie lowers her head, thinking that KID will leapfrog her... FOOLISH GIRL! Krista runs towards Candie, grabs her into a front facelock and SPIKES her head into the mat with a running DDT! Candie rolls away from Krista, holding the side her head and gritting her teeth. Krista walks over to Candie and tries to bring her to her feet BUT Candie slugs Krista in the face with a right cross, knocking Krista flat on her BUTT! Candie POUNCES on Krista like an enraged cat! The two roll around the mat, with Candie scratching and clawing at Krista, and Krista punching Candie. Krista finally puts the palm of her hand on Candie’s face and shoves her off! COLE Logan, are you sure about Krista? Alix is nice, but Krista’s um... she’s... CABOOSE A dyke? COLE I was going to say ‘mean’. She’s kind of mean. LOGAN I like a mean girl! Keeps me interested! Just means I gotta work a little harder, but the payoff will be much sweeter. Both women are on their feet! Candie tries to stick a boot into Krista’s midsection. Krista shakes her head, telling Candie to try again. Candie goes for an enziguri but Krista ducks and Candie’s foot whiffs by Krista’s head! With her free foot, Candie tries to do a back kick! But Krista catches Candie’s leg in her arm! Candie is panic stricken as Krista has a firm hold on both her legs! Candie calls out for help, but no one can give it to her! Krista lifts Candie up and sends her flying backwards with a wheel barrow suplex! The fans roar in approval at seeing Zack’s better half in pain! LOGAN Gentlemen, I like a woman who’s rough around the edges. Has a little emotional baggage. Like I said, it keeps my interested. COLE I think she’ll keep you in the hospital. Candie, of course does not share the crowds pleasure. She rolls out of the ring and DEMANDS that someone hand her a microphone. A member of the ring crew rushes to her with one. She snatches it out his hand, then shows her gratitude by shoving him to the ground. CANDIE Enough! Do you people know I am? CROWD You’re a crackwhore! You’re a crackwhore! CANDIE Shut up! Shut up! I hate you all! I’m Zack Malibu’s girlfriend! I’m the most important woman in this company! I’m the second most important person in the world! (Chants of slut replace the crackwhore one) I don’t have to fight midcarders! I could have a world title shot any day I wanted! I don’t need this! I’m outta here! I’m leaving! I hate you! HATE YOU ALL! I hope you’re all miserable for the rest of your lives! I hope everyone you ever meet is very mean to you! All of you! Krista, enjoy the fifteen minutes your tryst with a rockstar will give you! CROWD SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! As a parting gift Candie gives the crowd the one fingered salute. A frown etched on her otherwise beautiful face, she storms to the back seeking the comfort of her loving boyfriend. BUFFER You’re winner as a result of forfeiture, KRISTA ISADORA.... (Buffer forgot Krista’s last name! Red in the face, he puts his hand over the mic and asks Krista her last name. Afraid of incurring her anger he tries to avoid her stony glare.) BUFFER DUNCAN! (Krista, who isn’t even sweating, asks for a mic. Hoping to make up for forgetting her last name, Buffer gives her his.) KRISTA Well, that was fun. (Krista leans over the ropes and looks at Logan) Hey, Logie! I wrote you a lil something. LOGAN Hear that? She wrote me something. KRISTA Yeah, it’s a story. Or a scenario. I haven’t been too receptive towards you’re advances and I’m sorry! I have a hard time showing my feelings. I always have. So, the best way for me to express my emotions is to write them. And I decided to write something about my most favorite person in the whole wide galaxy...YOU! LOGAN She might not be a challenge after all. KRISTA Can we dim the lights, please? I want to make sure we’ve got the perfect mood. (The lights are dimmed and Krista nods her approval. She pulls out a few folded sheets of paper and begins to read.) KRISTA It was a quite night in a charming but unremarkable suburb of Las Vegas. All the kiddies had gone to bed, the mommies were sitting alone in their kitchens with the lights turned off and their sorrows drowning in a glass of cheap wine. The daddies were at some sleazy motel, sleeping with their secretaries, forgetting about the loving family they were destroying in the process . But, you Logan, you’re at home. You’re hard at work diligently writing your next hit song. You know for sure that this next song is going to be ground breaking! You know that it’ll turn the music world upside down. LOGAN Is this a true story? Because it sure sounds like it! Guys, wait till you hear what I've done with the Jug. It's the new Sitar! KRISTA But what you don’t know is that it’s really your world that’s about to be turned upside down. You hear a car pull up in front of your house, but think nothing of it. You simply assume that it’s the pizza you ordered. After all, even Hendrix had to stop for a late night snack. LOGAN How true. And like Jimi, I love the extra sausage. KRISTA You gather together the money to pay the pizza boy. The pizza costs fourteen dollars, so you grab fourteen and two quarters. “Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have to tip like it” is what you comment to yourself. LOGAN Damn straight. You don’t make money by spending money. KRISTA Suddenly you hear the sounds of glass breaking! You’re higher then a jet airplane so you just think it’s Stone Cold Steve Austin. You go back to debating whether to give the pizza boy $14.50 or $14.25. Then you hear a vase break! “That’s not part of Stone Cold’s entrance”, you think to yourself. You climb upstairs and enter the hallway. It’s dark but you can make out the outline of a slender human female. “She must be hot.” You tell yourself as your mind cycles through all the nasty things you plan on doing to her. LOGAN Aw, yeah! Whip out that baby oil, Coach, it’s party time! KRISTA “Who are you? You ask, barely able to contain your throbbing member in your pants. The figure gives no answer, her silence only serves to make you more aroused. COACH I heard that! Maybe Krista’s not as crazy as we all thought. KRISTA The figure creeps closer towards you. It never crosses your mind to ask why a woman who you think wants to have sex with you would need to break into your house. You’re to caught up in a wave of sexual fury to let common sense cloud your bad judgement. Your run towards this woman and take her into your arms, spinning her around and hoping against hope that she’ll never leave your side. You flick on the light and see that the figure is shrouded in black and wearing a ski mask. This would arouse suspicion in most people, but not you. LOGAN Not bad. Not bad. Got a little role play going on. Not my thing, but Logan Mann is not close minded sexually. KRISTA You rip away the ski mask, trying to see the face of this woman you’ve exalted to goddess status. The mask slowly slips out of your hands and falls to the floor like a leaf falling from a tree. You’re taken aback by beauty in front of you. She’s simply stunning, twenty eight years old, green eyes, beautiful facial features, long sandy blonde hair. LOGAN All right! To think if it wasn’t for me, you three would be watching a couple of sweaty roid monkeys feel each other up. KRISTA The woman is me. Exactly like you had hoped for when you saw that someone had broken into your home. “I knew you’d come around.” you smugly remark referencing your invitation for me to become your groupie. You take my soft hands in yours and try to plant a kiss on my dark red lips. I pull away from you, freeing myself from your grip. “What the hell are you doing?” any hint of romance is gone from your voice. You’re not used to being denied what you want. “You’ll do what I say!” The tone in which you use would tell a normal woman that there’s little room for disobedience. But I am not a normal woman. I turn away from you, regretting that I ever came here. But you place your hand on my shoulder and violently spin me around so that we’re face to face. You stumble backwards when you spot the volcanic rage erupting in my eyes. You start to slink away but I floor you with good left hook to the nose. My hands vibrate as I feel the bones in your nose shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. I proceed to pound away your mid section with kicks until you stumbled backwards into a table and knock over a lamp in the process. LOGAN The plot thickens! A tale of femdom, prehaps? KRISTA The room is darkened, but its easier for me that way. I reach into a hockey bag that I had brought in. You had failed to notice it. Your mistake. I pull out a shot gun and an axe. You crawl away from me, trying to get to a phone so you can call for help. I follow you like a tiger following it’s prey. I catch up to you in your kitchen. You stand up and toss out a punch, it hits my chin but I hit you back with the BUTT of my shot gun, knocking out several of your pearly whites. You crumple to the ground and holler out in pain. Your screams of agony give me more pleasure then your pencil dick ever could. I pull out a dagger and stab you in the stomach. Blood splatters all over your floor, as droplets fall like rain from your midsection. I slam you against the kitchen wall, and pull out two more knives. You ask me what I plan on doing with those knives. But you already know the answer. Suddenly writing that world changing rock song doesn’t seem to important. Does it, cowboy? I jam both knifes into your twig like arms pinning you against the wall and leaving death as your only means of escape. I pull down your pants and the mood changes for horrific to hysterical once I’m exposed to the tiny piece of skin masquerading as your penis. Tears roll down your cheeks like a ball rolling down a hill when you see me burst into fits of laughter. How proud you were of your penis! How humiliated you are now! I decide right then and there that I need to put that poor little fellow out of his misery. You’re eyes shut and you find yourself to afraid of the fate that’s soon to befall you to even cry. I raise my axe above my head. “Score one for woman kind!” I scream as I lower the deadly weapon and rob you of what little manhood you had left by chopping off your.... (We see the “OAOAST Control room” where operators are being swamped with complaints!) OPERATOR 1 Yes ma’am we know you have kids watching. Please hold. (Switches to another caller) OAOAST HeldDOWN, this is Tina....No, it wasn’t scheduled as part of the show.... OPERATOR 2 Sir, Logan is fine. No, don’t send him get well cards. I’m sure he’d appreciate your support, Mr.Bobbit. Could you hold on? OPERATOR 3 OAOAST HeldDOWN this is Kelly speaking.....Miss, I’m glad you sympathize with Krista but the best way to handle your marital problems is not with a shotgun. Please hold.....OAOAST HeldDOWN this is Kelly speaking......No, it was just a story. She didn’t really chop it off....It’s not on e-bay because it never really happened! (Suddenly a random dick head who we assume is a member of the OAOAST board of directors bursts into the room. The man is fuming and we can almost see the smoke coming out of every hole in his body!) RANDOM DICKHEAD Somebody tell me what the hell is going here?! NOW! I want some god damn answers people! NOW! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Sir.... RANDOM DICKHEAD Who the hell are you? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT My name’s Maggie, sir. RANDOM DICKHEAD Maggie? My ex wife was named Maggie. Let me talk to someone not named after the woman who drained my balls and my bank account. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Sir, my name is Mark. RANDOM DICKHEAD Mark? The guy who changed the oil in my car was named Mark. Good, trustworthy man. Didn’t try to cheat me. I like Mark. Mark, what happened. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Well, Krista... RANDOM DICKHEAD I know what happened. What I want to know is why it happened! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Well, Krista... RANDOM DICKHEAD I know why it happened! I want to know who allowed it to happened! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Um, you sir. RANDOM DICKHEAD Poppycock! Hogwash! Hogcock! If I wanted to be blamed for something I didn’t do, I’d pay a visit to my ex wife. No, No, No. We need action. My phones have been flooded by the PTA, PTC, PTP, PS2. We need action! Suspend Krista! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Great idea. RANDOM DICKHEAD It sucks. Who hired you? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 You did. RANDOM DICKHEAD Why? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Because I’m your son? RANDOM DICKHEAD Oh. We need to fine Krista! Fine her 10 million dollars! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 10 million? RANDOM DICKHEAD You’re right. That’s two low. Fine her ten billion dollars! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Sir.... RANDOM DICKHEAD Okay, hit her with a five thousand dollar fine and tell her that she gets no company fruitcake on Christmas and definitely no cheese of the month on her birthday. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 I never got a cheese of the month on my birthday... RANDOM DICKHEAD That’s because I don’t like you. I really wanted a girl. And I blame you for ruining your mother and I’s marriage. (Random Dickhead walks out of the room, humming the Saints hit song “Waves over South Dakota”.) Edited July 23, 2004 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 (edited) (Back to the arena) COACH Five thousand dollars is a lot of money! Espically when Logan was turned on by the whole thing! Apparently, he’s into Snuff! COLE Moving on, two weeks ago on HeldDown, the New New Midnight Express were involved in a match against the All American Boys II & III. During that match, NNMX manager James E. Cornette was ejected from ringside by referee Nick Patrick. Little did we know that ejection would lead to further chaos minutes later. COACH The Midnights went on to win their match, but when they returned to their dressing room they found trouble. When the NNMX entered their room, not only did they see their manager James E. Cornette laid out in a pool of blood -- much like the condition Jivin' J.R. was left in 3 weeks back -- but also a message written on the mirror. "Black T was here. PS: Don't turn around." CABOOSE Like a horror, instead of getting the hell out the NNMX decided to turn around, and when they did...boom!...attacked with steel chairs by the tag champs themselves, Black T. Payback for the beating Jivin' J.R. received. COLE Due to those events, the OAOAST board of directors suspended both teams one week without pay. Here's James E. Cornette with some comments recorded earlier tonight. Jim Cornette, wearing a bandage on his forehead, and the New New Midnight Express stand in front of a large OAOAST banner. CORNETTE What a travesty of a suspension that was! Sure, it slightly hurt our wallets, but not as bad as it did to Black T. I mean, without pay, how's T-Bod gonna pay child support to all those kids he's fathered? And how's Dan Black gonna pay for all that plastic surgery to make his ugly-lookin' self look good? Unlike my Midnight Express, Black T have confidence issues. Better bodies? Advantage: NNMX. Better wrestlers: NNMX. Best manager: NNMX. Smarter team? Advantage: NNMX; just look at their handsome-looking manager, smarter than Stephen Hawking, but I let the poor chap have the "smartest man alive" moniker due to the bad cards life's dealt him. But you know what isn't fair about this whole situation? Getting booked in matches you don't want. Two perfect examples: the board of directors sign a match -- a tuxedo match at that -- between myself and that disgrace of a legend turned comedy act, my former best friend, Jivin' J.R; and tonight's match between my Midnight Express and the Global Party XChange -- two guys, when asked who they'd like to see as president of the United States, said Mischa Barton. In two weeks we're facing Black T for the gold, yet we gotta wrestle a top-notch team while Black T sit on their butts backstage watching The Office. You call that fair? Hell, no! The red-faced Cornette takes a moment to compose himself. CORNETTE Simon, let me ask you something. What do the New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, *NSync & 98 Degrees -- hell, just for old times sake, the Rock 'n' Roll Express -- have in common? SIMON (sarcastically, of course) Great bands, Jimmy. And they bang all the hot chicks, which we know is a result of fame, not looks. The thought of Justin Timberlake giving Cameron Diaz an orgasm is sickening. NED The thought of Cameron Manham, Hamburger -- the fat chick from The Practice -- having an orgasm is Jivin' J.R.'s wet dream. SIMON Timberlake? What -- did his parents live near a forest where trees getting chopped down fell into the lake, so they figured "Bingo. Our last name'll be 'Timberlake.'" CORNETTE The answer: What is they're all dead. Those of you at home playing along, if you got the answer right, throw yourself off a bridge. Scotty & Johnny, this ain't Dawson's Creek. Simon & Ned aren't Michelle Williams & Katie Homies. Prepare for the highlight of your lives, because in 50 years when the NNMX are remembered as the greatest tag team in OAOAST history; on your death beds, GPX will say "Thank God for the NNMX. Without them we wouldn't remember our names. God knows the people forgot long ago." Last year I promised the world the man I was managing at the time would cleanse the sins of wrestling's past. Now that I have men actually capable of getting the job done, the OAOAST is doing its damnest to see me fail. Well I hope you punks watch License 2 Pin: This ain't OZ, because not only am I going to beat the jive outta J.R. but the Midnights are gonna strip Black T of their titles and throw them in a cell with two guys named Bubba & Ray. And let me tell you, these are guys you don't want waistlocking you. Haha! Cornette & the NNMX exit the interview area, laughing. COLE Now let's go live backstage, where the OAOAST tag team champions are standing by. Gentlemen, thank you for-- DAN & T-BOD Shut up, Cole! Inside their locker room, Black T are seated, the tag titles gently placed on a small table. DAN Jim Cornette says we have confidence issues. Mr. T, do we have confidence issues? T-BOD Mr. Black...we're smart and rich -- not to mention sexy -- no, I don't believe we have any issues. Wearing his "Danny Hodge: Whadda mean you don't know who he is?" shirt, Jivin' J.R. enters the room. J.R. I'm so excited guys. DAN Watching 'Babe Does Dallas' again, J.R.? J.R. No. I watched that before viewing countless hours of footage involving Hell's Hitmen, NNMX, The Saints & GPX, making sure I have a scouting report ready for each team. Anyway, I'm talking about being in a James Bond movie. I can't belive I'm gonna be in one. T-BOD You mean License 2 Pin? You do know it's not a movie? Right? J.R. Wha...? DAN Its name's inspired by Bond. T-BOD Like the New New Midnight Express is inspired by the Midnight Express. DAN Just without the talent. T-BOD Ooh! J.R. But I bought a tux, ordered some mighty fine bitches to escort me to the ring -- the Jivin' Girls -- and worked on my British accent...The name's Jivin', Jivin' J.R. Dan whistles. DAN (holding a tennis ball) Here boy! Fetch. Go get it. Dan throws the ball on the floor. J.R. chases after it. DAN The OAOAST tag team champions would like to wish the best of luck to the NNMX. As a matter of fact, good luck to both teams. Should they feel the need to use tables, ladders, chairs, low blows, goughing of the eyes, hair pulling, closed-fist, ether, powder in the eyes, or racquets, let the record show Black T approves of these methods. Until next time. T-BOD Beat the hell outta each other! J.R. Butterfly in the sky, flying as twice as high, take a look, it's in a book -- Black T is going over. HeldDOWN~! One Fall, 15 Minute Time-Limit New New Midnight Express vs. The Global Party XChange BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time-limit. CABOOSE Well, we already know the finish. DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM BUFFER Coming to the ring, to be introduced by their manager. As "Chase" plays the NNMX head to the ring, making an "X" with their two index fingers. Jim Cornette trails them, holding up his tennis racket like its some kind of trophy. CORNETTE They're playboys and lover-boys, beautiful and sweet, bombastic and bodacious, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned -- the New New Midnight Express. BUFFER And their manager, Mr. Jim Cornette. COLE I was talking with Jivin' J.R. earlier today, and he was telling me a story about the time Jim Cornette won a doubles tournament with a partner named Jack. CABOOSE Wait a minute, Cole. What kind of sick sex joke is that? You cry about us continuing with the gay jokes, and you try slandering a good citzen like James E. Shame on you. In a world full of posers, phonies, and wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na BUFFER And their opponents, weighing a combine 407 pounds, Soctty Static & Johnny 'Jam' Jackson -- the Global Party XChange! GPX come flying out of the entranceway, jacked up. The arena erupts in a "PARTY" chant, as Teen People's sexiest men alive head for the ring, slapping and shaking hands of their fans. Two fans, wearing black jumpsuits and skelton masks, jump over the guardrails and jam signs into GPX's faces... "GPX -- the dumbing of society" & "The World is Ours!" Security quickly escorts the men out of the area. COLE Fans, we love for you to have a great time at OAOAST events, but please don't jump over the rails into a superstar's face. COACH Those guys look familiar. CABOOSE You're right, those two guys appeared two weeks ago with anti-American signs. COACH They weren't attacking Uncle Sam this time. Now it's GPX. CABOOSE GPX's making more enemies than John Gotti and America. Johnny & Ned go to their respective corners. Scotty Static & Sarcastic Simon will start things off. COLE Collar-and-elbow tieup. Back into the corner. Ref's calling for a clean break. Simon's backing off...Oh, took a swing, but Scotty moved out of the way. Armdrag. Another. Hiptoss, followed up with a dropkick. Simon exits the ring. Look at this. Jim Cornette's consoling him. CABOOSE Nothing wrong with that. If we had more people like Jim Cornette roaming the earth, we wouldn't have things called problems. COACH If we had more Cornette's, warn every Dairy Queen in the country. Ned's tagged in. Struting around the ring, Ned looks at some of the females ringside and says, "Look, don't touch," then twirls his hips ala Elvis. CABOOSE Ha! Look at that. Thousands of women around the world just fainted. Scotty & Ned lock up. Go behind, waistlock. Scotty attempts to worm out of it. Droptoe hold, over the top into a side headlock. Ned whips Static into the ropes. Scotty hops over him. Ned leapfrogs, catches Static coming back off the ropes, scopes him up, but he floats over. Ned looks left and right, only to have Scotty jump on top of him in a victory roll position. Instead of a victory roll, he spins around and executes a hurricaranna. Ned staggers up going towards the wrong corner. Johnny greets him with a big right hand. Ned woobles around...towards Scotty! Again, Ned's nailed with a right. Now he's caught between both members of GPX getting hammered with punches. Johnny slams Blanchard's head into the turnbuckle. Tag made. Ned's stumbling around the ring, with Simon & James E. trying to point him in the right direction. FULL NELSON SLAM! 1...2...Simon disrupts the count. THESZ PRESS! Scotty caught Simon with a Lou Thesz Press. Now he's plumping away with fists to the face. The referee's trying to get both illegal men out of the ring; in the process, allowing Jim Cornette to his racket to Ned. WHAM! Across the back of Johnny 'Jam.' 1... 2... 3--Kickout! Johnny incredibly managed to kickout. 'The Narcissistic One' pounds the mat in frustation. He -- and so did a majority of the people watching -- belived that was it, this match was over. Blanchard drives the flat of the boot against the side of Johnny's face before tagging in Simon. But he isn't done delivering further damage as he whips Jackson in the ropes...droptoe hold...bam...elbow-drop by Singleton. COACH Classic MX, or NNMX in this case. Aw, hell, every version of the Midnight's used that very move. COLE Simple and effective. Simon heads to the top, the crowd boos. CABOOSE They aren't booing the high-risk attempt. COLE They're booing the World tag team champions, Black T, making their way ringside. Black T and their manager, the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R. look on from the entranceway. VEGOMATIC! COLE Boom! Simon off the top with the flying legdrop formerly known as the 90210, renamed because... COACH It slices and dices. That's what James E. told me personally. And I gotta agree. 1... 2... Double-axhandle from Scotty breaks up the count. Pissed, Simon goes after Static, but his speed is too much for Singleton, as he misses an attempted spear and is pushed into the steel ringpost exposed between the top and middle ropes. Scotty returns to his corner and leads the crowd in a "JOHNNY" chant, trying to encourage his fallen compadre. Ned & Cornette do the same thing for Simon. Holding his shoulder, Simon crawls ON TOP of Johnny, attempting to keep his as far a way from his corner as possible, while trying to tag Ned. Johnny hooks Simon's legs, who responses in kind. Both men wrench back, sorta like a modified surf board...on their stomachs (JJ's stomach's touching the canvas, Simon's on JJ's BUTT), screaming in pain. JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY! COLE The crowd continuing to urge Johnny 'Jam.' Ned climbs to the top. Seeing it, Scotty also heads to the top. On the top, they both lock eyes, almost daring the other to jump. Off goes Ned, a split-second later goes Scotty. FLYING ELBOW-DROP to their opponents! The crowd stands on their feet, applauding the maneuver. Ned came from the right side, Scotty the left. The two get up and begin slugging it out, toe-to-toe, man-to-man. Referee Jack Doan tries to intervene, but gets caught in the corner after Static ducked a punch and dropkicked Blanchard unknowningly into the referee's position, followed by a big splash (Stinger Splash), knocking out the ref. Scotty gets kicked in the gut, then nailed with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER from Simon, who bends backwards after a forearm shot to the lower back, kneelift to the midsection...pumphandle into piledriver...BEAT DROP! The cover -- there's no referee, so Johnny counts it himself. 1... 2... 3...BIG POP 4... 5...Cornette sneak's up behind JJ, but he turns around just as JC was going to hit him with his racket. JC shakes his head, walking backwards. JJ grabs him by the hair, cocks the fist and...RELEASE GERMEN SUPLEX courtesy of Narcissistic Ned Blanchard. "Get him (the referee) up, Jimmy," Ned asks his manager. Cornette does everything he can to get the ref up -- massaging and slapping being his best main methods, although one suspects he's using this to abuse the officials he's had a run-in with in recent weeks. Scotty Static charges Ned. He immediately lifts him up by one leg, as his partner Simon grabs his right leg in mid-air, for the FLAPJACK~! Referee Nick Patrick rushes to the ring. Apparently, he'll take over duties due to the incapacitated Jack Doan. Double underhook suplex from Ned keeps Johnny weaken. He heads to the corner, where Simon is awaiting him on the top. Somebody call NORAD, a rocket has been launched. Boo say the fans. The New New Midnight Epxress' ROCKET LAUNCHER~! BLACK T RUNS-IN attacking the Midnights -- but on the outside HELL'S HITMEN have jumped Scotty Static as well. That's why the fans were booing when the NNMX were about to deliver the Rocket Launcher. Jivin' J.R. chases Jim Cornette through the crowd swapping at him with his fly swatter. All hell's breaking loose. * DING DING DING DING * Dan's hammering Simon in the corner, while his partner T-Bod's stomping the crap out of Ned. Oh, poor, Johnny 'Jam' Jackson. Unfortunely for him, he got up after taking the Rocket Launcher, but he goes back down after Dan's BLACKOUT (Stunner). Nothing but PITCH BLACK (Chris Daniels' Angel Wings) for Simon. 3-B, BLACK BODY BAG (simulataneous Rock Bottom/Spinebuster) for Ned. Black T stand over the NNMX, holding the OAOAST tag team titles high. Dan & T-Bod notice Hell's Hitmen staring at them, and they flee the scene. Once BT fled, JINGUS & The Sadist return their focus on GPX. Luckily for JJ, he's still out after taking the Blackout. His partner, Scotty isn't so lucky, getting destroyed on the outside. JINGUS & The Sadist hold SS by the head...and slam him FACE FIRST into the STEEL RINGPOST! All the females in attendence gasp and scream in horror as blood rushes down the face of Scotty. JINGUS removes the protective mats, and has Scotty in a powerbomb position. The Sadist comes off the top with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE, as JINGUS finishes off the powerbomb to the concrete floor. VAYA CON DOIS~! (Go with God) Scotty's out-cold. JINGUS & The Sadist wipe their hands in Scotty's hair, then rub it on their faces like it's some kind of war paint. OAOAST officials finally appear -- although they, too, are hesitate to get in the way of Hell's Hitmen. If humanly possible, nobody wants to get in their way. EMTs come on with a stretcher. JINGUS & The Sadist threaten to attack, but they leave through the crowd, who hilariously scatter when HH near. The EMTs, along with the help of Johnny 'Jam' Jackson, place Scotty on the stretcher and roll him backstage. Many fans can be seen crying as the stretcher passes them. BUFFER The winners of the match, as a result of disqualifation, the New New Midnight Express. COLE The crowd isn't liking this. They're booing the decision. I thought you said this match will going to a draw, Caboose. CABOOSE Oh, my God! Swerve~! BUFFER I've been informed by referee in charge of the match, Jack Doan, the decision has been reversed. Your winners: Scotty Static & Johnny 'Jam' Jackson -- the Global Party XChange! CABOOSE You can't do that! COLE He can. And did. Jack Doan was the referee in charge of the match. CABOOSE Nick Patrick replaced him after he got bumped. COLE But Doan still had final say. COACH Both guys are talkin' somethin' over. "You were taken out. I was told to replace you. As I was headed to the ring, I saw Black T attack the NNMX. I called for the bell," says referee Nick Patrick. Jack Doan responses, "I understand where you're coming from. However, I saw Hell's Hitmen attack GPX on the outside, and called for the bell. My match. My decision." Doan says something back to Patrick, they head over to SOFA CENTRAL~! CABOOSE That's the worst refereeing I've seen in my life. You both suck. Where's Charles Robinson? We need Charles in charge. COACH (singing) Of our days and our nights. The stage manager hands Doan his headset, apparently talking with the head OAOAST official. Nick & Jack watch a replay on the monitor and begin another round of discussions, this time with "Cowboy" Bill F'N Watts, the Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors, present. They relay a message through the headset. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, after further dileberations, both referee's have ruled this match a double disqualifation. COACH Let's go to Michael Cole, with Bill Watts. COLE Mr. Watts, it's been a while since you've been on OAOAST TV. I understand you have an announcement. WATTS Yes I do, Michael. As the world saw moments ago, things got wild. We had referee's down, guys running into matches they're not apart of. Well, that's all gonna change next week. There won't be a need to run-in other people's matches, because not only are Black T fined $2,500, and Hell's Hitmen fined $5,000 for their actions...Next week, right here on HeldDown, there will be an 8-Man "Wildcard" match. Big pop from crowd. WATTS The World's tag team champions Black T will team up with the Global Party XChange... That draws a huge reaction from the crowd, and a stunned look on MC's face. COACH & CABOOSE Whoa! WATTS (CONT'D) ...against Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express & Hell's Hitmen. Next week, they're gonna hook 'em up! Cole watches Watts leave, still stunned from his announcement. We go to break with a text graphic. NEXT WEEK... HeldDOWN~! 8-Man Wildcard Match New New Midnight Express & Hell's Hitmen vs The Global Party XChange & Black T Edited July 22, 2004 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 COLE This next match was announced earlier this afternoon. These two have met once before, back when Crystal had the 24/7 title, but the match was ultimately indecisive. Now, Hoff has the title, but I’m not sure that’s what this match is really about. COACH: My girl actually asked for this match not for the title so much, but for a measure of revenge on AJ’s part. COLE Well, at least until Gunner gets his hands on Hoff. CABOOSE Hoff will destroy Crystal, just like he destroyed AJ, and just like, in the near future, how he’ll destroy Gunner Sharps. CUE: “Set it Off” by Audioslave “Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, weighing at 150 pounds, CRYSTAL!” ::Crystal emerges from the smoke and walks to the ring. She slaps hands as she makes her way, occasionally pointing at “Crystal” signs. She gets in the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle, smiling to the crowd before doing some last minute warm-ups.:: CABOOSE She better wipe that smile off her face now, or Hoff will wipe it off for her! CUE “Black” by Sevendust “And hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 lbs, he’s the 24/7 Champion and part of the Thrillogy, HOFF!” ::Hoff saunters down to the ring and smirks condescendingly to the crowd. He fires back at fans who are throwing insults at him, but one fan in the front row makes a comment that particularly annoys him. An argument occurs between the two, which distracts Hoff. After getting fed up with the fan, Hoff turns around to head to the ring, only to get met with Crystal’s baseball slide:: DING! DING! DING! Crystal punches Hoff and grabs him by the hair to toss him in the ring. Hoff stumbles up in the ring only to get aquatinted with Crystal’s flying forearm! Hoff slowly gets to one knee, which Crystal takes advantage of and performs a shining wizard! She quickly goes for the pin 1! Kickout. CABOOSE If Crystal thinks that Hoff will go down that easily, she’s in for a loooong night. Hoff sits up and Crystal gives a hard kick to the back. She then runs the ropes and does a neck snap on the still sitting Hoff. Coming off the opposite ropes, she dropkicks Hoff’s face! COLE Crystal is using her speed and hit-and-run tactics to ground a much stronger Hoff. As Hoff struggles to get up, Crystal stays behind, out of view from Hoff, and clips him from behind, taking out his left knee! Crystal picks up his leg, and slams the knee to the mat! She takes Hoff’s left ankle with both hands for leverage, and pushes on the front of his knee as far as she can, trying to hyper-extend it. Hoff screams in pain before grabbing Crystal by the hair and pulling her off. Crystal’s undaunted though, and quickly pushes her self up and runs towards Hoff. When she meets him, she’s met with a right hand! She staggers a bit, and Hoff sends her off to the corner. He runs towards her, but Crystal thinks quickly and puts her boot up. When that doesn’t faze Hoff much, she soccer kicks his left knee, and he goes down! COACH Crystal’s chopping down the monster. Ya know, she’s one smart cookie. CABOOSE Well, wait until that monster wakes up. Then Crystal is in for some trouble. Crystal goes on the outside and drags Hoff into the corner, so the post is in between his legs. She takes his left leg, and swings it, smashing his knee to the post! She does it again, with Hoff screaming. She gets back inside just before the ref gets to 8, and goes back to the corner. By this time, Hoff is getting up, with the help of the ropes. Crystal kicks him in the stomach once, and mounts the second rope, signaling for the ten-punch! “1!” “2!”“3!” “4!” “5!” “6!” At 6, Hoff pushes her off. Crystal rolls back on her front and gets up, only to be met with a vicious clothesline! He then picks up a woozy Crystal, and gives her a gutwretch suplex, slightly favoring his knee. CABOOSE Hoff’s so powerful, that even with one knee, he can throw around Crystal like a ragdoll! So much for that strategy! He picks her up again, and drops Crystal with a brainbuster. He covers her. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal gets on all fours to try to get up, but Hoff has different plans. He measures her up, and drops his left knee in the back of Crystal’s head. COLE He did that just to spite her! CABOOSE I think that’s Hoff’s way of saying that her strategy of taking out his legs ain’t going to cut it! Hoff roughly picks up Crystal, who’s holding the back of her head. He carelessly tosses her to the corner. Before he can deliver a clothesline, Crystal drops down, and rolls away from the corner. Hoff turns around after the clothesline attempt, only to get his head hooked by Crystal. She, with Hoff’s head hooked, goes for the tornado DDT. In mid-move, he counters into a northern lights suplex! COACH Ouch! 1! 2! Kickout! Hoff goes to pick up Crystal, when he suddenly hears the cheers of the crowd. Curiously, he turns around to see what all the commotion is about, and his eyes widen when he sees. “Gunner! Gunner! Gunner!” CABOOSE Hey! He has no business being here! With Hoff complaining to the ref, and yelling at Gunner, Crystal takes advantage of the distraction, and rolls up Hoff with a schoolgirl. 1! 2! Kickout! Gunner continues to look on, staying at the corner. Crystal seems to have her second wind, as she runs to the ropes, and delivers a flying headscissors! Hoff staggers up, and Crystal, showing her tenacity, dropkicks his left knee to get the big man down. Crystal locks in the half boston crap, back towards the entrance, to wear down the let knee when the crowd suddenly boos. She lets go to see what the noise is for, and sees the OAOAST World Champion, Zack Malibu! CABOOSE Finally! Someone to even up the score! COLE Even up the score? Gunner hasn’t even done anything yet! Now it’s Crystal’s turn to be distracted. She continues yelling at Zack when Gunner’s voice of warning makes her turn around. She sees Hoff coming and delivers a drop toe hold! Hoff is laid out on the second rope, and Crystal goes to the outside on the apron, gets a running start, and legdrops Hoff’s head! Both of them land on the outside. There, Zack jerks around Crystal, and starts talking trash to her. Crystal says something to aggrivate him, and he takes a swing, but Crystal ducks! Instead of firing back, she drops down to the ground. Zack looks at her confusingly, only to get met with a clothesline from Gunner! Crystal gets up and smirks at a pained Zack, but Hoff snaps her back to reality, and throws her back in. She goes for a kick in the stomach, but Hoff easily catches her foot, smirking. She hobbles around until Hoff spins her around, and Crystal hits a dragon whip! She runs the ropes, only to get tripped up my an recovered Zack. Gunner goes for him again, and they are at it again! Meanwhile, Hoff recovers, and irish whips Crystal to the ropes, she bounces back, and hits a swinging Flashback! As this is going on, the brawl on the outside has escalated, and has moved on in into the ring! The ref, having lost all control, rings the bell. That doesn’t matter to any of the four in the ring though, because they continue fighting anyways. Gunner and Crystal work together to clothesline Zack out of the ring, and to back bodydrop a recovered Hoff out of the ring! The two Thrillogy members help each other up while Crystal whispers something to Gunner. He nods and gets on all fours while Crystal runs the ropes, hops off Gunner’s back, and dives on the World and 24/7 champions! She recovers quickly, gets in a couple of shots on Zack, and gets back in the ring, high-fiving Gunner. COACHThis is insane! The referee goes to the announcer and tells him something, who nods his head in response. “This contest has been declared a No-Contest. HOWEVER, the ref has ruled that since all four competitors are here, we are going to have a Tag Team Match pitting Crystal and Gunner Sharps against Zack Malibu and Hoff!” The crowd goes BANANA as we head into a commercial break. COLE Don’t go away folks, we’ll be right back! *COMMERCIAL* Drink Aaron Burr Beer Aaron Burr Beer: Tastes like being shot. *END COMMERCIAL* COLE Folks, welcome back to HeldDown, and if you just tuned in you missed a hell of a development! COACH That's right, the match in the ring was SUPPOSED to be Hoff vs. Crystal! But, due to the interference from Zack Malibu and Gunner Sharps, it's been turned into a tag match by the official! In the ring, Hoff cinches in on Crystal with a rear chinlock. CABOOSE You know, that damn Gunner ought to be suspended again, he's the cause of all this! COLE Can you blame him? I'd want to get my hands on Hoff too! Crystal tries to fight to one knee, but Hoff powers her back down with the chinlock. COACH Hoff is in control right now. CABOOSE Thank God for that. COLE Fans, here's what you missed during the commercial break. "During the Break" rolls by on the screen, and we see Hoff and the World Champion, Zack Malibu, being sent to one corner by the official, and Crystal and Gunner Sharps to another. Crystal steps into the ring and turns to confer with Gunner, and Hoff darts in and plasters her from behind with a clothesine! The "HeldDOWN" logo flashes as we cut back to the match in progress. COACH Hoff hit my girl with a cheap shot-- CABOOSE Now, now, it was a smart tactic! COLE Nonetheless, it's allowed Hoff to get the upper hand here. Hoff jaws at Gunner while he pulls back on the chinlock, and Gunner leans into the ring and yells back. Hoff smirks, but Gunner turns away and waves his arms to the crowd! The fans begin to cheer and stomp as Crystal shoots an arm into the air! Hoff's mouth opens and he shakes his head, but Crystal fights to her knees! Crystal throws an elbow to Hoff's gut! Another! One more, and Hoff breaks the hold! Crystal slips out and turns to face Hoff, catching him with a beautiful dropsault! Hoff staggers back, and Crystal charges, spilling him over the top rope! COLE Oh yeah! COACH Go Crystal! Zack looks down at Hoff in shock, then turns back to Crystal, who BLASTS him with a forearm! Zack staggers and falls off the apron! The fans go MAD as Crystal grabs the top rope, and dives out of the ring onto Hoff! But Hoff catches her! CABOOSE Ah ha! Hoff keeps a hold of Crystal, charging at the ringpost and driving her back into the steel! The fans boo as Crystal's back arches, and Hoff drops her to the ground with a thud. Hoff quickly checks on Zack, who gets to his feet...and the two Thrillogy members begin stomping away at Crystal! COLECome on! COACH Oh wait, here come Gunner! Gunner hops off the apron and stalks over to the scene. Hoff looks up and quickly slides back into the ring, and Zack shies off of Crystal! Gunner kneels down to check on Crystal, and Zack begins to taunt him! COLE Zack Malibu can sure run his mouth. CABOOSE He's charismatic! Gunner stands up and stalks over to Zack, but the referee leans out of the ring and breaks it up. Gunner turns to head back to his corner...but Hoff slingshots over the top rope and floors Gunner with a diving cross body splash! COACH Big move by Hoff! Hoff gets to his feet and begins throwing insults down at Gunner, but gets hit from behind by Crystal! Zack rushes Crystal, but the Female Phenom sees him coming and catches him with a big chop that sends him down! Crystal turns back to face Hoff, and catches him with a stiff shot to the temple! Hoff spins and staggers away, but Crystal grabs him by the tights and rolls him back into the ring! COLE Back to the action in the squared circle! The ref sends Zack and Gunner to their respective corners, after the two men exchange a few words. In the ring, Crystal pulls Hoff up to his feet and stings him with a big knife edge chop! Hoff reels, and Crystal chops him again! Hoff lands in the ropes, and Crystal whips him off, but Hoff reverses! Crystal comes off the far side and ducks a clothesline, but Hoff catches her off the other side with a SPINEBUSTER~! COACH There's the power advantage coming into play again! Both Hoff and Crystal go down after the vicious front spinebuster. Gunner begins pounding the turnbuckle, but the fans boo as Hoff beats her to her feet. Hoff smiles as Crystl slowly gets to her knees. Hoff saunters over to the Phenom and grabs her ankle...but Crystal kicks her leg free! Before Hoff can react, Crystal dives and makes the tag to Gunner Sharps!! The fans ROAR as Gunner rushes into the ring, but Hoff quickly makes the tag out to Zack Malibu!! COLE What? Come on, is Hoff scared of Gunner? CABOOSE He's tired, Cole! That spinebuster took a lot out of him! COACH Uh-huh, sure. CABOOSE Shut up, poppyseed. COACH ...huh? The fans jeer as Zack slowly gets into the ring. Zack and Gunner size each other up, pacing, before moving in for the tie-up, but Zack ducks under Gunner's guard! Zack trips Gunner in a drop toe hold, taking the big man down, and quickly slapping on a side headlock. Zack releases the hold just as quick, and hops up before pouncing on Gunner with a falling elbow drop. Zack finds his feet, and drops another elbow to the back of Gunner's neck! CABOOSE Zack is way too quick for that oaf! COLE Gunner Sharps has been out of action for a while...he may be a bit rusty! Zack gets to his feet again and comes off the ropes before dropping a lightning-fast leg across the neck of Gunner. Gunner rolls over, holding his neck, which allows Zack to drop a knee across Gunner's face. Zack stays on the mat and begins choking Gunner, as Hoff laughs and cheers him on. CABOOSE I've said it before, but I love Zack's mean streak...I really do. The referee pulls Zack off of Gunner, but Crystal comes in the ring to break it up as well! The official turns his attention to Crystal...which allows Hoff to come into the ring! The fans boo as both Thrillogy teammates lay some boots into Gunner! As the ref eases Crystal back out of the ring, Hoff slaps his hands together. CABOOSE That's a textbook Greco-Roman fake tag right there. COLEPlease. Zack exits onto the apron as Hoff paces around Gunner, smiling. COLE Aw come on, sure! Now that Gunner's down, Hoff wants in! COACH You know it Michael, Hoff is ever the opportunist. Hoff kicks Gunner cockily a couple times. On the third kick, though, Gunner reaches a hand out and grabs Hoff's foot! Hoff quickly backs away, kicking his foot free before putting a boot to Gunner's head. Hoff leans down and curses at Gunner before pulling him up. CABOOSE Here we go. Gunner wanted Hoff? Well he's got him! The fans boo as Hoff cockily slaps Gunner across the face. Gunner reels...then spins back and FLOORS Hoff with a clothesline! The fans go NUT! CABOOSE NO! Hoff runs to a neutral corner, looking for a tag, but no one's home! Hoff spins around, and Gunner meets him with a huge fist to the face! Hoff's head whips back as Gunner pummels him with a series of big right hands! Gunner whips Hoff out of the corner and to the opposite turnbuckle, and Hoff CRUMPLES in the corner! Gunner CHARGES -- but Hoff rolls away at the last second and Gunner's shoulder hits the post! Hoff staggers over to his corner and makes the tag back to the World Champ! COLE Hoff quickly getting out of harm's way there. Zack comes in as Gunner stumbles out of the corner, and Zack seizes the opportunity by reaching up and dropping Gunner with a neckbreaker! Gunner falls, and Zack laughs as he heads to the opposite corner! The fans jeer as Zack smiles, and begins stomping the mat! COACH I think Zack senses that Gunner's ready for the kill! The fans shower Zack in boos, stomp the floor to alert Gunner, but Gunner gets up ever so slowly. Zack crouches, then steps forward as Gunner turns...but Gunner DUCKS! And the kick strikes the referee!! COLEOh my! Zack looks down at the referee he floored with his errant superkick, not sure what to do next. Zack turns to face Gunner..... AND GETS DRILLED WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING IMPACT SPEAR!!! COLE SHARP END! THE SHARP END FROM GUNNER!! The fans go ballistic as Gunner folds the Champ in half with that sick spear! Gunner quickly makes a cover, but the ref is down! Gunner goes over to the referee, trying to stir him...when Hoff calls out from the corner!! HOFF "I'M THE ONE YOU WANT!" Gunner looks up, startled, to see Hoff nodding with a sick smile on his face. CABOOSE No! What is he THINKING? Gunner looks at Hoff tenatively, and Hoff steps into the ring. Gunner takes a slow step toward Hoff, and another...and Hoff points behind Gunner! COLE What's he...oh no! The fans begin to boo as a figure hops the guardrail! COACH It's Calvin! Calvin Szechstein hops the rail and yanks Crystal off the apron! Cal blasts a surprised Crystal with a right hand, and Crystal goes down! COLE Calvin Szechstien isn't supposed to be in this match! CABOOSE Well, hey, neither are Zack or Gunner! COACH What I want to know is, how do these Thrillogy guys always manage to hide in the crowd? Gunner stalks over to Calvin, looking down...until he's blasted from behind by Hoff! Hoff grabs a reeling Gunner Sharps by the back of the head and hooks him in a reverse facelock, shouting "this is it, baby!" COLE Oh no, is Hoff gonna go for that Future Shock we saw last week? COACH Can he even get a man as big as Gunner up for it? CABOOSE You better believe it! And, as Cal points to him and cheers, Hoff rears back...and lifts Gunner up to the lights!! COLE My God, that's over seven feet, over three hundred pounds, and-- OH! Hoff drops Gunner with the sitout reverse brainbuster now known as the Future Shock! CABOOSE WHAT A MOVE! Variant on the Screwdriver, but Hoff has transcended it into something even better! COLE Simply devastating. Hoff, smiling all the while, rolls over into the lateral press on Gunner... BUT THERE'S NO REF!! CABOOSE Aw, bollocks! The damn ref's still out! Hoff tries to get the referee back to conciousness! Meanwhile, on the outside, Crystal has recovered, and nails Calvin with a LOW BLOW to the delight of the fans! COACH Yeah! CABOOSE That's not fair! Crystal slides into the ring as Hoff tries to wake the referee! Crystal, smooth as silk, slides behind Hoff and grabs him in a rear waistlock! CABOOSE What the -- OHNO! The fans go INSANE as Crystal takes Hoff over with a release German Suplex! COLE Talk about feats of strength!! Crystal pops to her feet, with the fans cheering her on! Hoff lies prone on the canvas, and Crystal looks out to the fans! COACH Yeah! I think they wanna see Hoff tap out! Crystal nods, then heads to Hoff and grabs him by the legs! Hoff twists and turns, trying to fight it, but Crystal gets his legs crossed, and turns him over into the Crystalling!! CABOOSE But there's no ref!! COLE Who cares? Come on Crystal, make him tap! Hoff reaches out for the ropes, reaches.....and taps out!!! But there's STILL no ref!! Crystal leans back into the hold, causing Hoff to scream! Crystal turns her head back and yells down at Hoff, then turns her head back AND GETS CAUGHT WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT BY ZACK MALIBU!! CABOOSE YES! Aw, I knew Zack wouldn't stay down! Zack looks down as Crystal slumps to the mat, breaking the hold. Hoff rolls out of the ring, and Calvin shakes the referee from the outside, finally bringing the official back around! Zack makes a cover! COACH But he's not the legal man! COLE How can you even tell anymore?! The referee slowly makes his count! ONE!!! TWO!!! KICKOUT!!!!!! The fans go completely crazy as Zack can't believe it! He gets to his feet after slapping the mat in frustration, beckoning Crystal up! Zack hovers over her, and Crystal gets to her feet...but so does Gunner Sharps!! CABOOSE Zack, look out!! Zack waits for Crystal to turn around...but suddenly dives away as Gunner comes barreling in! Zack dodges, and Gunner spears CRYSTAL!!! COACH Oh, dag!! COLE Gunner accidentally hit Crystal with that huge spear!! Crystal crumples as Gunner gets to his feet, looking down at Crystal in shock. Gunner puts his hands to his temples as he turns around....right into School's Out from Zack!!!!!! COLE What a kick from Zack! COACH How did he get his leg that high! CABOOSE He's the champ, baby!! Gunner falls to the mat and, exhausted, Zack falls on his back on top of Gunner. Zack hooks the outside leg as best he can as the referee makes the count! ONE! TWO! THREE!! *ding ding ding* CABOOSE YES!! What a win for our World's Champion and the Thrillogy! BUFFER Here are your winners...Hoff and ZAAAAACK MALIBU!!!!!!! Zack rolls out of the ring, supporting himself on Hoff and Calvin. The three men walk up the ramp, oblivious to the taunting fans around them. Meanwhile, Gunner and Crystal check on each other, making sure the other is okay. COLE Well what a match this ended up being, guys! COACHYeah, and you've gotta take your hat off to Crystal and Gunner Sharps! CABOOSE Why? They didn't win a thing! In the ring, Gunner apologizes to Crystal who waves it off. Both fan favorites then turn their attention to the top of the ramp, where a very exhausted Thrillogy raise their arms in victory. CABOOSE See, Coach, THERE's your winners. There's the ones you have to take your hat off to-- But Caboose is suddenly cut off...as the arena goes dark!! COACH What? COLE Again?! The fans cheer as the arena remains black. Finally, the AngleTron lights up as an eerie music fills the arena... He who endures his fiery wrath, Will come to regret the wrong path. Those who go searching for thrills and success, Will have to pin him, if they are to past the test. He will come there to her aid, The Game will be over, no more will be played. So if you dream of the darkness, the fog, and the rain, He has chosen you to… FEEL THE PAIN The lights come back on, and the Thrillogy members look at each other, positively spooked. In the ring, Gunner and Crystal look just as puzzled. CABOOSE WHO IS DOING THIS? COLE You don't think...it might be.... COACH Hey! Look at Hoff!! On the ramp, Hoff is absolutely in a fit, SCREAMING at the fans at ringside! The fans begin to taunt him, pointing and laughing, until Zack and Calvin come to calm him down. The three leave the arena, with Hoff sparing one last, angry glance at the arena. COLE Whoever it is, they are totally and thoroughly in Hoff's head. And then, for NO APPARENT REASON, "Set It Off" kicks in over the loudspeakers, and the fans cheer for Crystal and Gunner Sharps as they leave the ring. CABOOSE Now, let's not forget who won. COLE True enough, Zack and Hoff pulled out the victory, but this was only a preview of the brutality we will see at License to Pin: This Ain't Oz. (Go to break) (They return as The Mad Cappa is sitting in front of a TV control room with various OAOAST matches from the past are playing on.) I have a confession to make! I was at this certain Monday night show three nights ago. Well, let me tell ya'! It put me to sleep three times! (Puts up three fingers.) It was THAT bad! Why did I ever go?! At least there's a show every Thursday night that's guarenteed to keep your adrenlin pumpin', your senses excited, and have all the mayhem and entertainment to keep you up! It's the OAOAST HeldDown~! You'll never wanna' check over the "other" Thursday night show after it's all said and through! Announcer: HeldDown~! Presented to you by the OAOAST! Live every Thursday night! Right here, on the Smart Marks Forum! (Return from break) COACH It's now time for the OAOAST Italian Championship match of the evening, as "Reckless" Drek Stone will face Sly Sommers. COLE This was all started earlier tonight, when Sly confronted Drek on accident while searching for Calvin Szechstein throughout this building. With the tensions leading into License to Pin heating up, both men's hot heads prevailed, and we have ourselves a match tonight! CABOOSE Sly has tasted gold before, when he had the X-Division title back last November. Of course, that's before he turned into an overgrown birth canal... COLE Let's just go to the ring! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted July 22, 2004 ("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes out, wearing a bandage on his forehead from last week's attack from Calvin Szechstein, to a sizeable ovation.) COACH Wait...what's this? There's something going on backstage! (We cut backstage, where we see the Rave and Assault Squad stomping the heck out of someone. Nate and Mikey pull him up by the arms and hair to reveal that it's Rick Edwards.) SB87 Last week...your little soap opera interrupting us...that was the last straw! (punches Rick in the face) We've had it with you and your type, hogging up all of the television time with your incessant boo-hooing, and your little morality plays, when we could be in that ring, using our actions instead of our words to get ourselves over! (Mikey and Nate shove Rick face-first up to the wall behind them, and Nate grabs a chair from the floor to hold up to the back of Rick's head. SB87 then charges at him and nails a 360 rotation front spinning wheel kick, also known as the Shining Arachnid. Rick falls to the floor upon impact.) SB87 I guarentee you, that is NOT the last time you'll hear from us! Boys, the time for talking is over... MIKEY Yeah, the time for tal... SB87 What did I just say? Now, shut up and come with me. (Mikey and Nate follow SB87 out of the room, with Mikey and Nate chatting about SB87 just snapping at Mikey.) (Cut back to the arena, where Sly Sommers is being checked for weapons by the referee.) COLE I can't believe that. The Rave and Assault Squad are blaming Rick Edwards for their promo being cut out on last week? COACH That's one issue I know isn't settled...but let's get our focus concentrated on this match, shall we? ("Woke Up This Morning" starts up, and out comes the OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone. He pours a bottle of water over his head, and then tosses the empty bottle out into the crowd. A fan touches him on the shoulder as he walks out to the ring, and Drek yells at the fan for even daring to come close to him. Drek then walks into the ring, handing the referee both his belt and a white rag, and forcing him to shine the belt. Michael Buffer then takes center-ring...) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special match tonight, as the OAOAST Italian Championship will be defended between the OAOAST Observer Newsletter's 2003 Rookie of the Year, as voted on by its subscribers and writer Dave Seltzer, and the man who looks like he will easily win all Rookie of the Year awards for the year of two thousand and four...ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? (Decent applause) I said, ARE YOU RRRRRRRREADDDDDDY?!?!?! (large pop) For the thousands in attendance, and the forty-seven watching at home...LLLETT'S GET REEEEEAAADY TO RRRRRRRUMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLE! (Crowd applauds ridiculously cheesy saying.) BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger...he hails from Bayside, California, and is a former OAOAST X-Division Champion...weighing in tonight at 197 pounds...he is Sly SOOOOOMMMMMERRRRS! (Crowd applauds Sly as he poses on the second rope.) BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 235 pounds, and hailing from Brooklyn, New York...he is the current, reigning, and defending OAOAST Italian Champion...he is "Reckless" Drek Stone! (Crowd boos as Drek gives them all the Italian Salute (scraping fingernails on underside of jaw).) *DING**DING* The bell rings, and we are underway. Both men circle around the center of the ring, and Sly even sticks his hand out for a handshake. Drek spits in it, and Sly rubs it off on his tights. They then lock up, and Sly gets the advantage with a headlock. Drek can't squeeze out, so he sends Sly off to the ropes. Sly comes off of the ropes and sends Drek down with a shoulder tackle. Sly then comes off of the ropes to his left, and Drek turns onto his stomach, causing Sly to leap over him while running. Sly comes off of the ropes on the other side, and gets leapfrogged by Drek coming back. Sly comes off of the ropes on the opposite side again, but this time runs into a drop toe hold by Stone. CABOOSE Drek Stone: smart man. Drek then flops himself over to lock in a front facelock. Sly works his way out and reverses it into a grounded reverse hammerlock. Sly then bridges over with it. Drek then slowly works his way up to a bent-over position. When he does, Sly rolls over his back backwards and keeps ahold of the arm to lock in a wristlock. Drek then uses his far leg to step over the wristlock and break it. COLE That was a creative escape. From that position, Drek locks in a cravate. Sly can't squeeze out, so he does a forward roll to escape. He then sweeps Drek's legs out from under him, and goes for a lateral press... 1... Kickout. Both men come back up, and Sly goes for another legsweep. But, Drek hops right over Sly's attempt, and drops down to lock in a seated headlock. Sly uses a very original escape for the headlock, as he basically does a push-up, then hops up and outward with his hands to squeeze out. Sly then wraps his legs around Drek's head from behind as Drek sits on the mat, then sits back and hooks the legs with it... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men come back up, and Sly nails a nice hiptoss to send Drek down. Sly then pulls Drek back up by the arm, hooks him in a hammerlock, and drops him with an inverted flatliner. Sly pulls Drek up again, wrings his arm, and sends him off to the ropes. Sly then nails a flying shoulderblock. Sly then stands up and bends Drek's arm around his leg in an unnatural position. Sly then snaps back in Indian Deathlock manner. COACH That's gotta hurt! Sly then starts repeatedly punching a grounded Drek in the shoulder until his hand starts to hurt. Sommers pulls Stone up, and pulls him over by the arm with a judo takedown. Sly goes for a cross armbreaker, but Drek locks his hands so that Sly cannot apply it fully. Drek then kicks his feet out and gets a rope break. Sly lets go of the hold, and when Drek gets up, he charges at him. But, Drek drops down while holding the top rope and sends Sly flying over the top rope and to the floor! COLE Crashing to the floor like that can't do a body good. Drek then slides to the outside. When Sly gets to a knelt position, Drek connects with a stiff knee to the side of Sly's head. Drek then uses his right arm and shoulders to hurl Sly onto the apron, and then shove him back into the ring, due to his left arm being rendered hurt because of Sly's work on it. Drek goes back into the ring, pulls Sly up, and brings him over with a snapmare. Drek then connects with a stiff kick to the back of Sly's head. CABOOSE I don't think the human head is supposed to make sounds like that. Sly then crawls around on the mat dazed, and Drek gives him a stiff field goal-style kick to the side of the head for his troubles. Drek then pulls Sly up by the hair, but cannot lift him because of his left arm. So, he applies a headlock. Sly tries to shove him off to the ropes, but Drek pivot-steps and trips Sly down to the mat. Drek then nails a standing legdrop on the back of Sly's head. Drek pulls Sly up, and connects with a stiff European uppercut that sends Sly flying back into a corner. COLE He felt that one back in California! Drek then connects with a back elbow to the side of Sly's neck. He backs off, and nails another back elbow. He then hooks Sly's head and arm, and brings him over with a twisting STO. Drek then drops to a seated position and locks in a headscissors. Sly can't squeeze his head out manually, so he rolls over so that both him and Drek are on their stomaches. Sly then does a headstand, and pops out to a standing position. But, Drek gets him back by connecting with a wild mule kick to Sly's lower back when Sly turns around. COACH Very unorthodox there... Drek then repeatedly kicks and stomps at Sly until he goes down. Stone sits Sly up, comes off of the ropes, and connects with a hagekure (running knee strike to sitting opponent). Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a neckbreaker onto his knee. Sly ends up dazed and sitting, so Drek comes off of the ropes and nails a Hennig Neck Snap. Drek then nails a standing falling headbutt. Stone then pulls Sly up and nails a jawbreaker that sends him down. Drek comes off of the ropes and nails a power drive elbow drop (Muta-like snap elbow). Stone goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then tries to lock in the Dragon sleeper, but Sly bridges up and out. Sly then nails a back elbow to Drek's stomach. Sly then comes off of the ropes, but Drek nails him with a kitchen sink knee to the stomach. Drek then scrapes his boot across Sly's forehead, trying to open both Sly's bandage and his cut without messing up his hands. But, Drek is unsuccessful. So, Drek bends down and rips the bandage off with his bare hands. COLE Sometimes, when you want to get the job done, you gotta get your fingernails a bit dirty. Drek then stomps on Sly's forehead, trying to re-open the cut. But, it won't open. He then pulls Sly up and delivers a European uppercut that won't open the cut. So, he gets frustrated and signals for the StoneCutter early. But, he lifts Sly too high when going for it, and Sly flips out, landing on his feet behind Drek. Drek turns around and walks into a superkick. Sly then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly then pulls Drek up, and goes for an Irish whip. But, Drek twists around and reverses with a snap version of Danny Doring's Bareback. Drek then lifts Sly up for a suplex, but Sly gets out the back end. He then tosses Drek over the top rope and to the floor. When Drek wanders to his feet, Sly heads up top. He then dives off, but Drek moves and Sly crashes on the floor, with his face colliding with the guardrail. The camera then gets a close-up of Sly, who looks like he's re-opened the cut from last week. COACH Uh oh...this can't be good. Drek then grabs Sly and tosses him back into the ring. Drek looks down at his hand to see that he got a little bit of blood on it, and then runs into the ring and starts rapidly punching Sly's cut, attempting to open it even wider. Drek then digs his fingernails into the cut. He quickly switches to a blatant choke, which the referee makes him break. He goes back to digging into the cut, but then chokes again. The referee then makes him get off of Sly completely. CABOOSE Drek Stone is one hell of an opportunist! COLE I say he's one hell of a cheater. Drek then sits Sly up and hooks his arm for a sitting abdominal stretch, but then hooks his head and arm for an STO-style choke submission. Sly won't give up, so Drek gets annoyed, pulls Sly up from that position, and slams him back down to the mat. Drek then goes to the second rope, and nails a big legdrop. Stone goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a facebuster while driving both knees into Sly's face. Drek then goes into the corner, slowly jogs out, and drops a knee on Sly's face. Drek then locks in a side chinlock. As the referee checks to see if the move is a choke, Drek puts his feet on the middle rope to illegally apply more pressure. The referee looks up, and Drek drops his feet to the ground, denying that he cheated. COACH Ref, are ya blind? The referee then goes back into position, and Drek does it again. The referee sees the feet on the ropes and goes back to check again. Drek moves them onto the mat again, and denies cheating. The referee then goes back to his position. Drek then puts them back on the ropes, and really gets into wrenching the chinlock. The referee spots the feet, and Drek gets caught this time! He's forced to break the hold. COLE Thattaref! Drek then comes to his feet and starts to argue with the referee. When he gets too frustrated, he turns around to go back to work on Sly. But, he walks right into a small package from Sommers... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men come up, and Sly goes for a backslide. But, Drek reverses with a neckbreaker. Drek then kneels down and chokes Sly with his shin, all while arguing with the referee. The referee has none of it, and makes Drek get off of Sly. Stone then turns Sly over, and connects with a crossface shot across the right side of Drek's face. Drek then goes for a crossface shot with the other arm, but Sly pulls him down by it, and goes for another cross armbreaker. Drek tries to keep the hands locked to block like before, but Sly scrapes his boot across Drek's hands to keep them apart. Drek then decides to roll backwards. He's then able to stand and pull his arm out. He follows up by stomping Sly in the back of the head. CABOOSE Another thing to admire Drek Stone for: inititive! Drek then drags Sly to the ropes by the hair, and chokes him over the middle rope with his leg. The referee makes him break the choke, so he locks in a camel clutch using the ropes for help. The camera closes in in Sly's face, and he's nearly got a full face of crimson, with blood dripping off of his chin onto the apron mat. Drek then pulls Sly up, and whips him off to the ropes with his good right arm. Sly comes off of the ropes and rolls under Drek's Yakuza kick attempt. Both men then turn around, and Sly gets plastered with the second Yakuza kick! COLE He might be out cold! Drek then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then immediately turns Sly over onto his stomach and locks in a front chancery (single-underhook front facelock). Sly can't escape, so he starts pounding the mat to try and get the crowd to support them. They start clapping in rhythm with his slaps on the ring canvas, and Sly slowly starts to rise to his feet. Drek can't stop Sly's rise, and comes up with him while holding onto the front chancery. Both men are standing, and Sly lets loose with a series of punches to Drek's mid-section. The eighth one is the charm, as Sly gets loose. But, Drek reaches out, grabs Sly's hair, and pulls him back down! COACH Ain't that illegal? CABOOSE Shut up, you baby. Drek then walks up to the ropes, jumps to the second one, and nails a turnaround legdrop. Drek decides to then pull Sly up to his feet instead of covering him, and shoves him into a corner stomach-first. Drek then climbs up on the second rope behind Sly and shoves the two sides of the cut together to create pressure on it to bleed more. Drek then starts yelling Mad Cappa's name into the camera maniacally. COLE He's obsessed! Drek then turns Sly around, and nails him in the face with a forearm that sends him into a seated position. Drek then grabs the top rope to balance himself, and delivers three stiff knee strikes to Sly's face in a row. Drek then jogs to the opposite corner. He charges forward, and nails a brutal facelift dropkick into Sly's face! The cameraman behind Sly gets drops of blood splattered on his lens. Drek then goes to the corner on the right, comes off of the ropes, and nails a sick running bootscrape to Sly's face! CABOOSE After that striking series, I'm surprised Sommers's head is still attached to his body! Drek then lies Sly down throat-first on the bottom rope, climbs on Sly's upper back, and repeatedly jumps up and down on it with both feet. Drek then lies down on Sly and chokes him on the bottom rope before the referee's five-count breaks it. Drek then pulls Sly up, and in one fluid motion, slams Sly's face down on his bent knee and then pops up to nail the floating neckbreaker (Double Shot). Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and hooks his arms for a butterfly suplex. But, he can't lift Sly due to his sore arm. So, he delivers a solid right hand to Sly's face to send him down. Drek then goes to the second rope. He tries to pump himself Vader Bomb-style on the second rope, but can't do so due to his bad arm, so he uses his good right arm to help launch off and drop a big elbow drop. Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Rope break! Drek then pulls Sly up in a front facelock, and swings his leg around to drop him with a reverse Hog Log (Eye of the Hurricane done with leg). Drek then pulls Sly up, wrenches his eyes, and shoves him down. The referee yells at him for breaking th rules, and Drek laughs at him. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a Williams Neckbreaker (suplex/swinging neckbreaker). Drek then stands up, and actually walks over Sly's throat. COACH I almost think Drek's trying to push his boundaries here, seeing as if I think Sly's all but done. Drek then comes off of the ropes and drops a snap legdrop. Drek gets back up and drops another snap legdrop. Drek comes off of the ropes for a third, but Sly sits up. Drek thinks quick and doesn't actually perform the legdrop, so he's able to kick Sly in the back of the head and then kicking him in the chest to send him back down. Drek then turns Sly over on his stomach and applies a camel clutch, hooking Sly's jaw with his good arm and then grabbing the bad arm with his good hand. CABOOSE I doubt Sly's surviving this... Drek cranks back on the move as Sly looks to be going out. But, right before his lights completely go off, he starts pumping his fist in the air to show that he's still in this thing. He then works his way to his knees, and follows by slowly coming up to his feet. He grabs Drek's legs and lifts him up in a piggyback as he climbs to his feet. Sly teases falling back, but Drek punches him in the back of the head twice, and brings him down with an inverted falling reverse DDT. CABOOSE That's thinking OFF your feet! Drek then pulls Sly up, and drops him with a single-underhook DDT. Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then immediately transitions the pin to a Dragon Sleeper. Sly tries bridging out like before, but Drek saw it coming and punches Sly in the stomach to keep him down. Sly tries stomping to get the crowd behind him, but Drek slaps him in the chest for every time he stomps. Finally, Sly starts kicking upward and connecting with knees to Drek's skull. After the fifth one, Drek's grip is loosened enough for Sly to get one last burst of energy, spin the hold around, and reverse with the One Hit Wonder! Both men are down, so the referee starts the count... 1... 2.... 3.... 4... 5... Sly's crawling on with just his hands, as Drek's starting to pull himself up using the ropes.... 6... 7... 8... Drek's almost up, and Sly's on one knee... 9... Both men are up. Drek charges at Sly, but Sly blocks Drek's punch and nails one of his own. Drek throws another punch, but Sly blocks it and punches Drek again. Drek tries for a punch again, but Sly ducks and Drek spins around to get knocked down with a punch to the face. Sly then starts stumbling around dizzily, showing how much the blood loss he's had in this match has gotten to him. COLE Uh oh, this cannot be good for Sly... Sly's problems give Drek the time to recover and rise to his feet. When he gets up, he quickly lifts Sly and drops him with a split-legged slam. Drek cradles Sly for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek pulls Sly up, and goes to lift him for a second split-legged slam, but Sly reverses in mid-move with a double-legged takeover into a cross armbreaker! Sly keeps his leg slightly bent so that Drek cannot lock his hands together, and keeps tilted to one side to make sure Drek cannot roll out. Sensing that the end might be coming, Drek spits in the referee's eye to temporarily blind and distract him, and then slightly lifts his elbow to strike Sly in the groin to escape the hold. COACH Come on ref, disqualify the guy! Both men rise to their feet, and Drek goes for another punch. But, Sly ducks and punches Drek in the stomach at the same time. Sly then quickly goes to the apron, springboards to the top rope, and nails a flying single-arm DDT. Sly then transitions that on the mat into a Fujiwara armbar. Drek can't either pull his arm out or get to the ropes, so he rolls forward, pulls Sly up with his body weight, and drops him with a Side Effect using his good arm. Drek then goes for another STO choke, but Sly immediately gets to the ropes. COLE This was just one in a series of submission holds that's been busted out late in the match that's already been used tonight and therefore were seen coming. Drek kicks Sly in the head after the rope break before pulling him up. Drek signals for the Stonecutter and hooks Sly's head. But, Sly is able to reverse with a Northern Lights suplex that he can't bridge due to his light-headedness. Sly then pulls Drek up, and signals for the USA High Angle 2k4 Backdrop. He hooks Drek's arm around his stomach, but Drek escapes. COACH Stone's obviously a student of tapes, and saw it coming a mile away. Drek then comes off of the ropes and connects with a Yakuza kick that sends Sly flying back and both armpit-and-throat-first onto the middle rope. Drek then hooks Sly's head in a front facelock, and has his legs dragging over the middle rope. He then shifts his body so that Sly'll spin around, and Stone drops him with an inverted Stonecutter! Drek shakes off his hurt arm, and then goes for the cover without hooking the leg... 1... 2... Rope Break! Drek pounds the mat in frustration before yelling at the referee for a supposed "slow count". Drek then pulls Sly up slowly, shakes off his arm once again, and goes for a second Stonecutter. But, due to both his injured arm and Sly seeing it coming, Sly is able to escape the facelock and score with a legsweep and roll through into a jackknife cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE We ALMOST had a new Italian Champion! Both men slowly stumble to their feet. When they're both up, Drek charges at Sly and throws a clothesline with his bad arm. That proves to be a tactical mistake, as Sly hooks the arm while ducking, twists around, and drops the arm across his shoulder for an inverted arm stunner. Sly then pulls Drek up by the arm, holds it out, and dropkicks it, causing Drek to spin around holding his arm. Sly gets up, hooks Drek's arm in a hammerlock, and uses that to bring him over in an inverted armdrag that he transitions into a sitting armbar! COACH I don't see Drek Stone surviving this! New Champion! Drek reaches out desperately and slowly crawls to the ropes. Seeing that he almost has no chance to get to the ropes, thanks to the mid-ring positioning by Sly, he rakes his fingernails on his good hand down Sly's back, causing Sly to loosen his grip due to distracting pain, and Drek to quickly crawl to the ropes. Sly slams Drek's arm onto the mat hard as he lets go of the armbar. CABOOSE That wasn't sportsman-like! COLE Either is poking at your opponent's eyes, hitting him in the baby-making region, or raking his back! COACH "Baby-making region"...that's a new one! Sly pulls Drek off of the mat and hooks him for the USA High Angle 2k4 Backdrop again. He lifts Drek, but Drek is able to switch positioning in mid-move, and goes for a sunset flip. But, he can't bring Sly over due to his bad arm. He waits until he can make sure that the referee isn't looking, and punches Sly in the nuts to make his trip down easier. Drek cradles him, and puts his feet on the ropes... 1... 2... KICKOUT! CABOOSE He's on performance-enhancing drugs, I swear! Drek gets up immediately and kicks Sly in the jaw with the toe of his boot, causing the referee to yell at Drek again, since toe-kicks are actually illegal. Drek pulls Sly up, and drops him with a DDT. Drek holds onto the front facelock, pulls Sly up, and drops him with a second DDT, right on his skull. Drek then pulls Sly up with the front facelock, but instead positions him for an attempted piledriver! COLE That's Sly's move! Drek gets him perfectly positioned, but cannot lift Sly because of the bad arm. Sly is able to then get one last boost of energy, and backdrops Stone down to the mat. Drek bounces up off of the mat holding his back, and walks into a kick to the stomach by Sly. Sly then positions Drek between his legs, straitjackets Drek's arms, lifts, and drops him with the Slyledriver! COACH That's Sly's new piledriver variation! I think this one's over! Sly lies on his back for a second, trying to undizzy himself, so to speak. As he does that, Drek rolls to the apron, cradling his bad arm and holding his neck. Sommers then slowly crawls over to Stone, as the blood still slightly drips from his almost fully-covered head of crimson, including dried-up blood in his long mane of hair. Sly grabs Stone, rolls him over slightly, and goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... DREK KICKS OUT! COACH How in the hell...? COLE Drek just kicked out of one of the damndest piledriver variations I've ever seen! Sly's put many an opponent away with the regular version, but Drek was able to survive his variation? Wow. CABOOSE Wow indeed. Sly then gets to his feet and pulls the still-dazed Stone to the middle of the ring. Sly then starts to climb the ropes facing the crowd, looking to go for a moonsault or something like it. When Sly gets to the top rope, he starts dozing off, and the camera closes in to see that Sly cannot keep his eyes fully open. He gets extremely dizzy and cannot let go of the ringpost. Sly then tries to let go and fully stand, but he quickly fades out, and ends up falling to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. He then hangs almost unconciously in a tree of woe. COLE Guys...I don't think Sly's okay.... COACH Yeah, I'm getting kind of worried too. As this happens, Drek Stone slowly wanders up to his feet. He sees his window of opportunity and goes with it. He pulls Sly's upper torso upward by the hair and hooks Sly in a full nelson, as his legs are hooked on the top rope. Drek strains to use his left arm for a second, but then powers upward, lifts Sly, and drops him with the Recker (Dragon Suplex)! CABOOSE Drek rarely busts that one out! COLE I can't believe he pulled it off, with his bad arm and all... However, due to that bad arm, he isn't able to keep ahold of Sly for the bridge. But, Drek rolls over, sits on Sly's back, and locks in an inverted camel clutch, substituting the chinlock portion for the Tazmission (katzahajime; choke with half-nelson). He has to hook his bad arm with his good arm just to keep ahold of Sly. The referee checks Sly's eyes as the camera closes in on his face, and Sly looks to be completely unconcious. The referee then does the arm-drop check... 1....the arm goes down... 2....the arm goes down... 3...Sly's arm goes down for a third and final time! *DING**DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and STILL OAOAST Italian Champion, "Reckless" Drek Stone! COLE What a finish to this contest! Drek Stone, who's proving himself to be one hell of a cerebral athlete, capitalized on Calvin Szechstein's dastardly scissors attack last week, opened Sly's forehead like a bloody faucet, and just waited out his turn until Sly's body eventually gave out. COACH I can sense a theme here: in the past month, Drek's taken on two men who we can basically call upper-carders, or main-eventers, in Calvin Szechstein and Sly Sommers...and he's beaten them fair and square in mid-ring. You know...as much as this guy irks me, I don't think I have to wait until December; Drek Stone is my OAOAST Rookie of the Year! CABOOSE Damn straight... The referee hands the Italian Championship over to Drek Stone, who raises it proudly over his head, much to the dissatisfaction of the crowd. Loud boos start to echo throughout the arena, but Drek doesn’t even bother to acknowledge them. He just shoots a long, cold stare at Sly Sommers, then changes his attention back to his Italian title. The jeers making their way through the building suddenly switch into thunderous cheers as the Mad Cappa sprints down to the ring! COLE IT’S THE MAD CAPPA!! THE MAD CAPPA IS HERE TONIGHT!! CABOOSE Oh, what the hell is he doing here?! Once again, running in right after a Drek Stone hard-fought matchup….what is this, a new trend or something? Drek drops the title to his feet and braces himself to battle the Mad Cappa. Cappa slides into the ring, and Drek immediately runs towards him to get the quick advantage. But the Mad Cappa pops right up and brings Drek down with a HARD clothesline! COACH Oh man, it looks like the Mad Cappa came here to clean house tonight! Right after the move, Drek rolls onto his side and back onto his feet. He backs himself into the corner to try to get back his wits, but Cappa isn’t allowing it. He moves up to Drek and begins to pepper him with shots to the face. After a few Cappa punches, Drek begins to battle back, hitting Cappa with his own strikes to the face. The two men ultimately move to the center of the ring, where they continue to hit each other with solid shots to the face! COLE This fistfight is starting to get out of control! You can feel just how much these two men hate each other! COACH And listen to these fans! They’re going crazy! They love it! Eventually, the Mad Cappa gets the advantage, hitting Drek with a nasty punch that sends him staggering back. Drek’s eyes widen as Cappa pushes him into the corner, and begins to absolutely unload with punches to the face and the midsection. The fans continue to cheer widely as Drek makes an attempt to cover up. Cappa finally moves back a few feet, looking like he’s sizing up Drek for something. He suddenly sprints forward, almost ready to splash Drek, but Drek suddenly gives Cappa a boot to the face, bringing him down to the mat. Drek quickly rolls out of the ring and stands at the bottom of the ramp, still in shock. CABOOSE Did you see that?! He wasn’t ready for a fight with the Mad Cappa tonight, but he STILL managed to brutally kick his ass in the ring! COACH What?! Boose, were you watching a different fight than the one I just saw? Cappa absolutely schooled Drek tonight…..just like he’s going to do in the Hell-in-a-Cell match next Sunday. CABOOSE Well, I’m not surprised. You still don’t know what the hell you’re………..WAIT! WHAT’S THE MAD CAPPA DOING?! Seemingly out of nowhere, the Mad Cappa bounces off the ropes, runs towards Drek Stone, and jumps on top of him with a SUICIDE PLANCHA!! The building immediately breaks out with a chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” as The Mad Cappa lands on Drek’s chest and continues to hit him with nasty strikes to the head. Drek makes an attempt to push Cappa off of his chest, but Cappa just continues to punch him. Six referees run down to the ring and quickly grab The Mad Cappa, pulling him off the body of Drek Stone. As soon as Cappa is restrained, Drek runs up the ramp until he finally gets to the entranceway. Looking back at the Mad Cappa with a concerned face, Drek can now see the fury present in Cappa’s eyes. Under the restraint of the referees, Cappa is noticeably seething, still wanting to get his revenge on Drek. Drek, with a silent breath, walks back through the entranceway, completely ignoring the “CAPPA!” chants breaking out around him. COLE After tonight, the anticipation is at a FEVER PITCH!! Folks, just in case you forgot….DREK STONE. THE MAD CAPPA. ITALIAN CHAMPIONSHIP. HELL-IN-A-CELL. LICENSE TO PIN. DON’T FORGET TO ORDER IT!! CABOOSE Oh, SHUT UP! Learn to use some friggin conjunctions in your sentences!! COACH Is Drek’s title reign almost over already?! We’ll find out in THIRTEEN DAYS!! CABOOSE What’s in thirteen days? COACH License to pin. CABOOSE What the fuck is that? Eh, whatever. NEXT! (Go to break) (Return from break) "It's Goin Down" by Linkin Park ft. The X-Ecutioners hits the PA system. The arena goes dark, a dim blue hue covers the arena, and white strobe lights begin to flash at the entrance. Watch them flee... Watch them flee. Wa...watch them flee. [Hip Hop hits] *Scratch**Scratch* And you do it like this... The crowd voices its disapproval as Chris Bryte saunters out of the locker room with his arms extended into the air; as always, he's wearing his trademark shades. Behind him, wearing an olive green tank top, dirty blue jeans and tan boots, lurks THE HAND~! He looks on stoically as Chris Bryte taunts the ringside fans before heading down to the ring, where Michael Buffer and referee Charles Robinson await. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 15- minute time limit. Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of 553 pounds...here is the team of THE HAND~!...and...CHRIIISSSSSSS BRRRRRRYYYYYYYYTE! The crowd boos wildly in the background as the pair continues their path to ringside. COLE Yes, fans! It's Chris Bryte and The Hand in tag team action here tonight against "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn and...well... COACH Some bum. COLE Well...yes. Last week, J-Dogg made this challenge, saying that he could pick any bum off the streets as his tag team partner, bring him or her into the ring, and together, they could defeat Chris Bryte and The Hand. CABOOSE J-Dogg is an idiot. Like I said before, anyone that would WILLINGLY step into the ring with a monster like The Hand is either a bloody fool, or he's friggin' suicidal. Gunn should've taken a page out of Panther's book and just left this fight alone. COLE Well...on that note, 'Boose, Panther hasn't exactly declined that challenge from Chris Bryte and The Hand. We've yet to get a clear answer from him. CABOOSE Clear answer?! The man came on TV and openly said that he's afraid of The Hand. He doesn't want any part of him! C'mon Cole. COLE Well...maybe you're right. Right now, let's focus on this match. COACH Yeah! I can't wait to see who J-Dogg's partner is...I bet it's Hammer! COLE Will you... COACH What?! It could be Hammer! COLE (scoffs)...Hammer. Now in the ring, Bryte and The Hand glare back up at the stage, awaiting their opponents' arrival. Bryte's music dies down, the arena goes dark, and we're greeted by the familiar chimes of Eminem's "The Way I Am." The crowd gives a good-sized pop as bright blue spotlights fill the arena. The camera focuses on the entrance, where J-Dogg steps out from the locker room. He's wearing a black singlet with red trim, with a "BEWARE OF DOGG" sign etched on the front. He's got a mic in his right hand, and when he reaches the top of the ramp, he raises his hand into the air, signalling to the tech crew to cut the music. The music dies down, the lights return to normal, and a slight chant of "J-Dogg" starts up in the crowd, bringing a smile to Gunn's face. He slowly raises the mic to his lips, points down to ringside and begins to speak. J-DOGG Bryte Man! (crowd boos) So you and your goon there decided to take me up on my little challenge. Great! That's just great. But...uh...before we get this little party started...Bryte, lemme just make one thing clear: last week...when you said that I could pick anybody...any bum off the streets...uh...did you truly mean *anybody*? In the ring, Bryte nods affirmatively. Gunn can hardly contain his laughter on stage. J-DOGG You're sure, now? (Bryte nods again) Goodie! In that case, tech crew, you know what to do! COLE Tech crew? What does he mean by...??? Suddenly the arena lights drop, and "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system. The crowd goes WILD in the background as, after approximately 5 seconds... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!* ...a HUUUUGE pyro blast goes off on stage (nearly killing J-Dogg in the process). Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, momentarily roaming the crowd before converging on the entrance, where a dark figure appears through a thick roll of smoke. Chris Bryte's jaw is hanging as he looks on from the ring. Standing behind J-Dogg, wearing a dusty brown suit, with a tattered top hat on his head and an open can of beans in one hand is none other than... COACH Oh my God, IT'S HAMMER~! COLE It's...NO! That's not Hammer...IT'S PANTHER!!!!!! Panther is J-Dogg's partner! CABOOSE Wha...no! How can this be?! He hasn't accepted the challenge! HE DOESN'T WORK HERE! COLE J-Dogg said *anybody* off the street! Bryte agreed to the stipulation, and now it appears as if those words are gonna bite him in the ass. And Caboose, I think that Bryte may have just gotten his answer to that challenge. On stage, Panther and Gunn--longtime enemies--glare intensely at one another. Panther then tosses the tattered hat into the crowd, tears off his suit (revealing his "Panther 215" ring gear underneath), then slaps J-Dogg on the neck. The men then turn and, together, they sprint down the ramp towards ringside. The lights quickly return to normal and the music stops abruptly as the two slide into the ring. *DING DING DING* Gunn runs right into a hard clothesline from The Hand as Panther goes straight for Bryte, sending him scrambling through the ropes and to the outside. Panther shouts obscenities at Bryte from the ring, leaving himself open to a blindside attack from The Hand. Clubbing forearm to the back sends Panther staggering into the ropes. The Hand follows up with a second strike to the head, before grabbing Panther by the left arm and sending him into the far side. Panther ducks a clothesline coming off and goes into the other side. He ducks another clothesline attempt and slips behind The Hand, where J-Dogg is waiting for him. Together, they place the flat of their boots into the back of The Hand's left and right knee respectively, sending him to his knees. From there, they rock the big man with stereo kicks to the chest, which is followed up by a stereo basement dropkicks--sandwiching The Hand's head and sending him straight to the canvas in pain. With the crowd rallying behind them, Panther and Gunn run to opposite sides of the ring and leap out to the apron, where they begin to measure The Hand. As the injured monster lay prone in the center of the ring, Panther and Gunn sling themselves to the top rope and springboard off, simultaneously landing on The Hand with a frog splash (Panther) and a leg drop (Gunn). Panther and Gunn spring back to their feet and thrust their arms into the air, as LOUD chants of "PANTHER, PANTHER" echo throughout the arena! COLE Listen to this crowd! CABOOSE I'd rather not, thank you very much! COLE Panther and J-Dogg are solidly in control! The Hand is down... COACH But watch Bryte! As Panther and Gunn continue to celebrate, Bryte springboards off the top rope and catches Panther square on the jaw with a jumping side kick, catching him with enough force to send him tumbling out to the arena floor. Bryte then charges at Gunn, missing with a clothesline and catching an open-hand strike to the chest for his troubles. An overhand right sends Bryte staggering back into the ropes, at which point, Gunn grabs him and whips him into the far side. Bryte manages to handspring into the ropes, but as he's snapping back for the elbow, J-Dogg ducks under, handsprings into the ropes himself and catches Bryte square on the jaw with an elbow of his own! Bryte groggily returns to his feet, where J-Dogg lifts him up and plants him in the center of the ring with a devastating Michinoku Driver. J-Dogg pops right back to his feet and points down at Bryte, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. COLE Chris Bryte is down in the center of the ring...and now J-Dogg is calling for something! What's he setting up for? CABOOSE Get up, Chris! With Bryte still down in the center of the ring, J-Dogg hits off the ropes, makes a diving somersault over Bryte's body and springs to the top rope, catching Bryte coming off with a nicely executed Sky twister press. The crowd comes to its feet as Bryte convulses in the middle of the ring. COLE Wow! Can you believe that move by Johnny Gunn? CABOOSE Absolutely not. I've never seen a move so contrived in my life! COLE Stop it! J-Dogg's in control of this one, fans, and could it be about time for what he likes to call The Dogg's Bite? If he hits it, this could be all! The Dogg's Bite (a Stunner from Handspring position) appears to be what Gunn is going for, as he's signalling to the roaring crowd. Clutching his chest and ribs, Bryte slowly begins to pull himself back to his feet, with J-Dogg hovering above him--measuring Bryte as the crowd rabidly supports him. Bryte pulls himself to a knee, then back to a vertical base, at which point Gunn hits off the ropes and dives at him with the flying bodyscissors. The crowd is at a fever pitch, sensing that the end's near, but as J-Dogg springs back up to complete the Dogg's Bite... ...THE HAND~! rushes in and grabs him by the throat. J-Dogg's eyes look ready to pop out of the socket as The Hand grips J-Dogg's neck with both hands, squeezing as hard as possible. J-Dogg fires off a few right hands to The Hand's head, desperately trying to break his death grip, but its no use, as The Hand quickly chokes the cruiserweight down to the mat. Panther re-enters the ring, looking to help his partner out, but... *CRACK* ...a timely roundhouse kick from Bryte sends Panther falling into the ropes, with his arms becoming tangled in the process. With Panther incapacitated, Bryte rushes him, catching him by the head and pounding him with a series of short right hands to the temple. Meanwhile, The Hand continues to choke the life out of J-Dogg on the canvas. Referee Robinson approaches him, imploring him to break the choke. ROBINSON C'mon, Hand! You're gonna kill him! Break the choke! 1...2...3...4......5! RING THE BELL! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Your winners, as a result of a disqualification, "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn and Panther! COLE Panther and J-Dogg win this thing via DQ, but this thing is far from over! Panther's trapped in the ropes, and The Hand...The Hand's still got that choke applied! COACH Look at J-Dogg! J-Dogg's face has turned beet red as The Hand continues to strangle him. Blood is now beginning to trickle from J-Dogg's mouth as Bryte points the scene out to Panther. "Is this what you want?!" Bryte says. "This is what's waiting for you, Panther! This is what'll happen to you!" *DING DING DING DING DING* The bell sounds once more as a bevy of officials rush out from the locker room. They hit the ring, hoping to end the assault, but Bryte quickly cuts them down with a series of martial arts kicks and strikes. On the canvas, blood continues to floor from J-Dogg's mouth as his limbs--which once flailed wildly--slowly begin to fall limp. The Hand continues to squeeze as Panther struggles to free himself from the ropes. *DING DING DING DING DING DING* More officials and a few security guards rush the ring, but once again, Bryte uses his martial arts background to stop them. On the canvas, The Hand continues to squeeze...he's squeezing so hard that blood is now beginning to gush out of J-Dogg's mouth and nose. *DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* COLE Stop ringing the damn bell and get some more help out here! The Hand is trying to kill J-Dogg. J-Dogg has now gone completely limp, but The Hand is unrelenting, refusing to break his grip on the smaller wrestler. Suddenly, a slight pop comes up from the crowd as Panther manages to get his arms free. Bryte makes a quick exit from the ring as Panther rushes The Hand and stomps him right in the head. A second shot from Panther causes The Hand to release his grip on J-Dogg, and the big man shoots a psychotic glare at Panther that brings a little bit of fear to his face. The Hand slowly rises to his feet and starts towards Panther, but before he can attack, about a dozen cops as security guards hit the ring and grab him. The crowd boos The Hand as the officers apply the cuffs to him. The Hand merely laughs, and shoots a sinister smile Panther's way before being ushered out of the ring and back to up the ramp towards the locker room. Panther takes a long, hard look at The Hand before looking down at the canvas, where his longtime rival lay motionless on the canvas. EMTs enter the ring to attend to J-Dogg. COLE My God. Fans...J-Dogg is hurt badly. CABOOSE That's an understatement, Cole. J-Dogg...I can't tell...is he even breathing? COLE I...I...this is bad. Panther looks on as the EMTs continue to work on J-Dogg. EMT #1 He's got no pulse. A look of concern mixed with frustration comes across Panther's face as he continues to watch, unsure of just what he should do next. He then kneels down next to J-Dogg's head...his eyes riddled with confusion. PANTHER J...get up! EMT #2 I think... PANTHER J! Get up, man! EMT #2 Sir...I think...he's gone! Panther looks over at the EMT, stunned. PANTHER Wha...what the fuck do you mean "he's gone"?! EMT #1 Sir...if you please... PANTHER J! Get up, man! Get up! EMT #2 Sir, please calm down! PANTHER Shut up! J, get your ass up, man...GET THE FUCK UP! Panther shoves the EMT's aside and slaps J-Dogg HARD across the face, but gets no response. Outraged, Panther grabs Gunn by the hair and begins pounding away, nailing him in the forehead with wild right hands before being wrestled to the canvas by a group of officials. Panther breathes deep, rapid breaths as more EMTs head out to ringside with a stretcher for J-Dogg. COLE This is...horrible. Absolutely horrible. (The show fades out as Cole mutters those words over and over again.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
