Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) Voice-Over (James Earl Jones) Normally, when two men battle inside a ring, it is done with honor, respect. But this month, we come from Alacatraz. A place decidedly known for its lack of both. For this special occasion, the outdoor courtyard and indoor gym, long abandoned were renovated. Special ferries hauled people, parts, and fans onto the island for two days of mayhem. The long-silent halls of Alcatraz are disturbed. They hear again the sounds of activity, of punishment. What dare we awaken and bring unto the world again? Our tale is told in numbers. License to Pin is an event of numbers. The first PPV to be fought over two days, the second to feature the King of the Deathmatch tournament. The third title defense for Zack Malibu. The fourth July PPV. It is an event of returns. The return of Jay "Shooter" Darring. It is rumored that Sandman haunts the premises. And Stephen Joseph returns to active wrestling. It is an event of pain. For no man imprisoned here ever made it off the rock. Tonight, the tournament begins. And many will go no further. Indeed, there is no escape from Alcatraz. Edited August 1, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) BUFFER LADDDIIIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME TO LICENSE TO PIN! COLE What a lineup we have tonight. The opening rounds of the Emporer of Death Tournament. COACH The Global Party Exchange faces Hell's Hitman in a match with tag team title implications! CABOOSE And my favorite wrestler, Jivin' J.R.! takes on some sumbitch with a tennis racket. COLE Why Caboose, that's our first match! CABOOSE Great. I can leave after its over. Tuxedo Match Jivin' J.R. vs. Jim Cornette COACH I can't wait for this, Mikey. Jivin' J.R. promised he'd be escorted to the ring by, and I quote, "mighty fine bitches." COLE I'm sure his boys, the OAOAST tag champs, paid top-dollar prices for his escorts. COACH Black Tie! BUFFER The following contest on License 2 Pin: This Ain't Oz is a tuxedo match! The only way to win is by stripping the tuxedo off your opponent. Let's meet the participants. First, this man's considered to be one of the legendary managers in professional wrestling history. The teams he's managed compromise a one man Hall of Fame. Ladies and gentlemen, from Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at "you never ask a man how much he weighs," the manager of the New New Midnight Express...Mr. Jim Cornette. The boo birds come out in full force as "Chase" cues up. COLE The world's most famous momma's boy, dressed in a polyster white tuxedo that makes him look like a 1980s drug kingpin heads to the ring, swatting away banana's being thrown at him using his tennis racket. No doubt Jivin' J.R. will be the fan favorite in this match. COACH Well I guess he should be thrilled homemade knifes aren't being thrown -- but what's with the banana jokes? COLE Some say Cornette used a banana in a way the good Lord didn't intend for it to be used; others say it's an urban legend. COACH Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you saying we have a Ron Jeremy power of yoga situation with Jim Cornette? COLE In Cornette's case, he didn't need the yoga. Of course this is purely speculation. What Cornette does in private is none of our business. Still to come: James E.'s New New Midnight Express will take on the Farmer of Champions' Black T, the defending tag team champions. BUFFER And his opponent... "The James Bond theme" hits. A white spotlight pans the entranceway, dressed in a tradition black tuxedo, Jivin' J.R. appears in the center of the spotlight. He pulls his FLY SWATTER out of his tuxedo and swats it against the air. The white spotlight turns red. Jivin' J.R. takes a few steps out, pulls out a whistle. Blows on it. COACH He's callin' 'em out. 5 PUPPY DOGS charge J.R., jumping on his legs. COACH Where the fine bitches? That can't be them. COLE (laughing) Enjoy your night. BUFFER From Oklahoma, weighing an undisclosed amount, he is the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R. * DING DING DING * COLE Cornette tackles J.R. to the mat. They roll around the ring like a couple of pigs in mud. Cornette forearm shots the Farmer of Champions. Uh-oh. James E. is going for the clothes. COACH Put the women and children to bed. COLE Cornette's pulled J.R. coat over his head, he's tugging away. He removed it. Now he's got to rip off J.R.'s shirt and pants, and it's over. J.R.'s shoe has come loose. Cornette has it--he has it...WHAM. He blasted J.R.'s with his own shoe. I can't watch this. I've had my fair share of problems with J.R. in the past, but this is about to become a public execution. Cornette throws J.R.'s shoes into the crowd. James E. goes to the corner and grabs his tennis racket. "Get up," says Cornette, wanting to deliver more punishment to his former friend. J.R. struggles to get back on his feet. Cornette cocks the racket...THUD! COACH Down goes J.R.! Down goes J.R.! Down goes J.R.! Cornette then grabs J.R.'s fly swatter and begins slapping J.R. across the face with it. "This is what you've become, J.R. -- a pest." COLE Just rip the rest of his clothes off, Jim! That's enough, damnit! He isn't a wrestler. COACH He's got himself into this. COLE That's a lie, and you know it. Jim Cornette & the NNMX attacked him, Black T returned the favor the following week. Cornette knows J.R. isn't trained to wrestle; he's doing this to humiliate him. Cornette takes off his belt and starts whipping J.R. on his stomach. "I'm doin' you a favor -- coverin' those stretch marks with brusies, punk." A chant of "JIVE! JIVE! JIVE! JIVE!" breaks out. COLE This unique crowd in attendence is trying to encourage Jivin' J.R. Come on, J.R. You can do it! J.R. begins trembling. He slowly crawls to the ropes, now being whipped on his back. J.R. grabs the bottom rope and shakes it. On one knee, he grabs hold of the second rope and shakes it even harder. Squating, J.R. grabs onto the top rope and shakes likes he's never shaked before. He's a manic, manic -- no, he's JIVIN' UP! J.R. jives around the ring, absoring the belt whips to the back. Cornette is stunned. The crowd is loving this. In one last attempt to crush J.R.'s momentum, James E. goes balls-to-the-wall whippin' J.R. across the chest, stomach, legs, back. J.R. just shakes his head no. Cornette slams the belt to the mat and picks up his tennis racket. If this doesn't bring him down, nothing will. Jim bashes Jivin' J.R.'s brains in. Nothing. COLE Either J.R. doesn't have a brain, or the adrenaline is running full speed ahead. COACH I wouldn't rule out the former. J.R. RIPS HIS SHIRT OFF revealing his upper body painted in GREEN. It's... THE INCREDIBLE JIVIN' J.R. The Incredible Jivin' J.R. points his finger at James E., and along with the crowd says, "YOU~!" J.R. blocks a punch and connects with 3 of his own. He whips Cornette off the ropes...THE BIG BOOT! J.R. looks at the crowd, slapping his man boobs. The crowds cheers grow louder with each boob slap. Mr. Jive runs the ropes. BIG SPLASH. J.R. stuffs Cornette's face into his man boobs (THE BREAST STROKE) until James. E. passes out. COACH That's one unique sleeper hold. COLE Off go the pants, the coat...and the shirt. That's it. * DING DING DING * BUFFER The winner: Jivin' J.R. J.R. dances around the ring. He twirls his hips ala Rick Rude, rubbing his chest. J.R. grabs his left man boob and licks it with his tonuge, getting a MASSIVE POP from the crowd. The cameras quickly cut away to: COLE Don't point the camera at me. Go backstage or something. We don't go backstage, but our next PPV event is plugged. DIAL AS FOR ANGLESLAM August 29, 2004 Edited July 31, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) COLE It’s time for a grudge match that could tear this whole cell block down. COACH I hope not. I’m already feeling claustrophobic in here! CABOOSE Then just leave! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall and is a No Holds Barred Match!!!! *The fans cheer* CALIFORNIA LOVE!!!! COLE Here we go! CABOOSE I’d like to see Parka try and fit that El Camino in here! *The fans are rowdy in the cells and on the walkway as Parka comes out…on a motorcycle.* COACH Wow! Nice bike! COLE Well if you can’t fit a car in then bring a motorcycle. *Parka gets off the motorcycle and slaps hands with some fans. As the camera closes in we see Parka has a cigar in his mouth.* BUFFER Introducing first, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, THE PARKA!!!! COLE That can’t be healthy, but Parka has come here tonight with a new attitude. *Parka enters the ring and hands the cigar and his mask to a ring attendant. The fans cheers are cut off by Money by Pink Floyd as J. Arthur Edwards walks out accompanied by Christopher Cain and the fans boo loudly as some hammer on the bars of the cells with whatever they can get their hands on.* BUFFER Coming to the ring, accompanied by Christopher Cain, from Washington D.C., weighing in at 225 pounds, J. ARTHUR EDWARDS!!!! COACH It’s freakin loud in here!! COLE I can hardly hear myself think. CABOOSE Well you’re not missing much then. *JAE slides into the ring and comes face to face with Parka. The two of them stare each other down and look like they’re ready to kill each other.* *Ding Ding Ding* The two men take a step back and then lock up and fight for control. JAE breaks free and puts on an Arm Wringer, but Parka fights out and puts on an Arm Wringer of his own. JAE flips out and takes Parka down with an Armdrag. The fans boo as JAE smirks at Parka. Parka quickly gets up and goes back to a lock up. Parka manages to back him into a corner, but JAE quickly reverses positions with Parka and lays in a few chops. The fans whoo and it echoes along with the loud chops. COLE The sounds are amplified in this setting! COACH I know, isn’t it cool? Parka blocks a chop, pulls JAE back into the corner, and punches him to the face over and over as the fans cheer. Parka picks up the pace and throws a rapid series of punches that get a pop from the crowd. Parka then backs up a step and blasts JAE in the face with a forearm. JAE is shaken and almost falls out of the corner, but Parka catches him. Parka then whips JAE across the ring to the other corner where he hits hard and stumbles out. Parka then hits a high Back Body Drop that sends JAE almost as high as the second level of the cell block before he comes crashing down to the mat. COACH Wow JAE got high! CABOOSE And he didn’t even share. JAE makes it to his feet only to get a boot to the gut as Parka goes for a Tiger Driver. JAE blocks the move and hits a Back Body Drop of his own, but Parka flips over with a Sunset Flip! JAE manages to roll through before a pin can be made and stomps Parka below the belt! COLE That will affect your singing voice. CABOOSE Among other things. Parka rolls around on the mat in pain as JAE just shrugs his shoulders at the ref’s complaints. JAE then turns with his back to Parka and hits a Standing Moonsault onto him! 1 No!!! COLE It’s too early for a three count. I have a feeling these two have much more violence to dish out. JAE then positions himself in the corner and waits for Parka to stand. As Parka gets up JAE runs forward for a spear, but Parka side steps him and sends him flying right into a turnbuckle. JAE stumbles out and Parka grabs him for a Snap Suplex. Parka then exits to the apron and hits a Slingshot Senton Splash on JAE! COLE Shades of Eddy Guerrero! COACH Parka with a cover…1…..2….No!! JAE kicks out. Parka stands and pulls JAE to his feet and goes for a Vertical Suplex, but JAE lands behind him. JAE quickly hits a Waistlock Takedown before standing up and dropping an elbow across the ribs of Parka. JAE gets up again and drops another elbow to the ribs before pulling him up by the head. JAE then plants three hard knees to the midsection of Parka and hits a Judo Toss that sends Parka down hard to the mat. Parka gets up again and JAE whips him to the ropes before planting a knee to Parka’s gut that flips him over. Without wasting any time JAE hits the ropes and does a Standing SSP onto Parka for a pin. 1 2 No!!! COLE What a move! JAE then pulls Parka up and goes for a Gut Wrench Suplex, but Parka blocks it and wraps his own arms around JAE before pulling him into a Tombstone position. Parka then leaps into the air and drives JAE headfirst into the mat with a Tombstone Piledriver! COLE My God this could be over already! CABOOSE No way it’s over. 1 2 3 No!!! JAE kicks out! Parka stands and waits for JAE to stand slowly holding his head. Parka runs in and nails him with a Leg Lariat that knocks him back to the mat. Parka quickly pounces on him and starts blasting him with punches to the head as the fans cheer along. Parka then pulls him to his feet by the hair and goes for a Vertical Suplex, but JAE lands behind him and hits a Backdrop Suplex. JAE gets up and flips off the fans who boo loudly and toss trash into the ring. A cup full of Coke hits JAE right in the head and he starts yelling at the fans. COLE The last thing we need is a pissed off J. Arthur. CABOOSE These fans are out of control in this environment! JAE waits for Parka to stand and then hoists him onto his shoulders for the Rolling Fireman’s Carry, but Parka fights out and lands in front of him while still holding JAE’s head. Parka then picks him up and hits a Vertical Suplex before going for another. Parka gets him up and hits a second suplex. Parka flips over and pulls him back up for a third suplex. Parka gets him up and holds him there for a second as the fans cheer and then Parka hits the third suplex. The fans know what’s coming next as Parka pulls him up one last time and hits the Michinoku Driver to finish the Supercharger. COLE What a move by Parka! CABOOSE Yeah, but he’s not going for a cover! Instead of going for a cover Parka pulls JAE out of the ring and to the floor. JAE stumbles around for a second until Parka nails him with a Shoulder Block that sends him back flipping over the ring steps! The fans reach out through the bars to touch the wrestlers as Parka pulls JAE back up and slams him face first into the bars of one of the prison cells! JAE stumbles back and falls to the ground as Parka slaps hands with some fans. JAE crawls to the ring and pulls something out from under the ring as Parka comes over to pick him up. As Parka reaches for him JAE comes back with a chair and blasts Parka to the face. Parka stumbles back against a cell door and slumps to the ground as JAE slowly stands. JAE then swings back and tries to sandwich Parka’s head between the chair and the cell door……….but Parka moves and the chair slams against the bars with a loud THWACK! COLE That would have just about killed Parka! Parka stands and JAE swings again, but Parka ducks and grabs him and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex that tosses JAE over the ring steps and across the floor! The fans erupt with “Parka” chants as JAE holds his head in pain. COLE Parka has adapted his style to a more suplex oriented style since coming back and that’s just a taste of some of the suplexes Parka uses! COACH I think JAE just “tasted” the floor! CABOOSE Enough with the puns already! Parka goes to grab JAE, but Cain comes around and grabs Parka by the shoulder. The ref exits the ring and tells Cain to back off, but Cain just shoves the ref aside and tosses Parka back first into a cell door! Parka hits hard and lets out a loud groan before stumbling back into the hands of Cain who lifts him above his head. COLE Shades of what Cain did to Leah Blackstone! Cain goes to toss Parka against the bars, but Parka slips out and hits a low blow on Cain! Parka then shoves Cain into the bars and Cain hits face first. Parka goes to get JAE only to find that he’s right behind him and JAE catches him with a knee to the gut. JAE then lifts Parka onto his shoulders and goes for the Objection, but instead of dropping him on his knee he drops Parka on the ring steps!! Parka hits hard on his ribs and bounces off with a painful scream. COLE My God no!!! Parka could be all busted up inside after that!! CABOOSE These two are gonna kill each other! JAE throws his arms to his side and basks in the anger from the crowd. JAE even gets a few stomps to the ribs of Parka for good measure before going back to taunting the fans. JAE then lays Parka across the steps and drops his knee across Parka’s ribs three times. Each time he drives the knee down Parka groans in pain. COLE This guy makes me sick. CABOOSE He just wants to win Cole! COACH I think he wants to end Parka’s career. Parka stands, but JAE quickly plants a shoulder into his gut and rams him into the edge of the ring. Parka starts to stumble forward, but JAE does it again and then one more time! Parka’s pain shows in his face as JAE slides Parka into the ring and climbs to the top rope. JAE sets up and goes for the Final Litigation, but at the last second he sees Parka move and rolls through the move. COLE J. Arthur with an incredible stop there. CABOOSE The guy is one of the most agile competitors around! COLE I wouldn’t go that far. JAE comes up a little slow as the roll took a little bit out of him, but he makes it to his feet and waits for Parka to stand. JAE runs towards him, but Parka plants a boot to JAE’s gut and hits an Exploder Suplex that sends JAE bouncing across the mat and under the bottom rope to the outside. Parka stays on the mat trying to recover as the move took a lot out of him. The fans cheer him on as they chant “Let’s go Parka.” COLE Parka just sent JAE flying out of the ring! Parka finally slides to the outside and goes after JAE and picks him up before tossing him into the ring post! JAE bounces face first off the ring post and falls to the mat. Parka isn’t satisfied so he picks JAE up again and tosses him into the ring steps. JAE hits the ring steps hard with his shoulder and knocks the top part of the steps clean off! COLE My God! Parka is just letting him have it! Parka shows pain in his ribs from the beating he’s taken so far and decides to take a breather. The fans cheer him on as JAE scrambles to his feet and Parka goes to grab him, but out of desperation JAE grabs Parka and pulls him face first into the ring post and Parka goes down. JAE then stumbles over to the announce table in one of the cells. He then grabs a water bottle and takes a drink before tossing the bottle away. COLE Hey that’s my water! COACH Who left the door open to our cell!? There’s no where for us to go! CABOOSE Then I’m using you as a shield. JAE then reaches into the announce table and pulls out one of the monitors and turns just in time to blast Parka to the head with it! COACH Oh my God!!!! COACH Hey I was using that monitor! Parka goes down to the floor and a trickle of blood appears on his forehead. JAE then pulls the monitor out some more and slams it down into the gut of Parka. Parka rolls over to avoid another shot only to get a shot in the ribs! JAE then tosses the monitor aside and it hits Coach right in the head knocking him clean out of his chair! CABOOSE Whoa!!!! Today is my lucky day!! COLE Holy sh*t!! Are you alright Coach!? The fans that can see inside the announcer’s cell laugh their heads off as JAE just shrugs his shoulders and picks Parka up. JAE then lifts Parka up and drops him ribs first across the edge of the announce table! He then grabs Parka by the head and tosses him into the ring under the bottom rope. The ref is pleading with JAE to keep it in the ring, but JAE just ignores him and slides into the ring. JAE then goes for a cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Parka kicks out! JAE can’t believe it so he pulls Parka to his feet by the head and then lifts him into a Backbreaker! However, JAE doesn’t let him go, instead he turns him and hits a Rib Breaker before pulling him up and placing him upside down in the corner with his leg hooked under the turnbuckle. COLE Tree of Woe!!! JAE then takes a few steps back and runs in for a Low Dropkick to Parka’s gut! JAE then rams his knee into the gut of Parka three times. COLE Enough!! CABOOSE Not enough! JAE then exits the ring, grabs Parka by the head, and pulls back so that Parka’s body bends back against the turnbuckles. The ref calls for a break, but since it’s No Holds Barred JAE doesn’t listen. JAE grabs a chair from under the ring, slides back in, and takes a baseball swing to Parka’s midsection! He then tosses the chair out of the ring and laughs at Parka’s predicament. COLE JAE is just working over Parka’s ribs! He wants to soften him up for the Final Litigation! He then backs up before running in with a Shoulderblock to Parka’s gut. JAE then holds onto Parka in this position and lifts him off the turnbuckle so that he’s lying lengthwise across JAE’s shoulder. JAE then goes for a Running Powerslam, but Parka manages to slip off behind him and gives him a shove into the corner. JAE hits the turnbuckle hard with his face and stumbles back towards Parka. Parka then hits a Clothesline that brings both men down to the mat! Parka is slow to move as JAE lies prone on the mat. COLE I don’t think he can make a cover. I’m not sure how he even did the move! Parka is visibly holding his ribs in pain as he barely drapes an arm on him. 1 2 No!!! JAE kicks out!! Parka slowly pulls JAE to his feet and hooks him for a Fisherman’s Buster. Parka strains through the pain and hits the move, but he lets out a loud groan as he hits the mat and once again lies there for a moment. COLE Parka is using bursts of energy to hit these moves, but he’s leaving himself hurt and slow to make the cover. CABOOSE That’s going to be his downfall I can feel it. Parka finally goes for another cover. 1 2 No!!! CABOOSE See! He barely got a two count! Parka waits for JAE to stand and positions himself behind him. As JAE stands Parka runs in, grabs JAE, and hits a Bulldog! Parka luckily lands right by JAE and drapes an arm over for the cover. JAE managed to land close enough to the ropes to drape a leg over, but the ref doesn’t see it at first. 1 2 No!!! The ref sees JAE’s foot on the rope and waves off the pin!! COLE JAE managed to get his foot on the ropes! CABOOSE That ref needs to wake up! He almost didn’t see the foot on the rope! As Parka stands up Cain grabs him by the foot and pulls him out of the ring. The ref yells at him to back off and even comes out to get in his face. COLE The ref needs to get control of this!! Cain is trying to buy JAE some recovery time! Cain tosses Parka aside and starts yelling back at the ref. The ref finally has enough and sends Cain to the back, much to the delight of the crowd. Cain refuses, but the ref calls out a few officials to help take him back. JAE calls over to Cain and tells him to go on back as the fans cheer. COLE It’s about time!! The ref is focused on Cain, so JAE uses the opportunity to exit the ring and grab a chair. As Parka stands JAE nails him in the ribs with the edge of the chair a couple of times. He then blasts Parka in the head with the chair, sending him down to the ground and then pulls him over to an open cell. COLE My God what is he doing?? Parka struggles to get on all fours, but as he does JAE pulls the cell door forward and slams it into the Parka’s ribs!! COLE No!!! Dammit that could have broken his ribs!!! CABOOSE Even I’m beginning to feel sorry for Parka! The ref runs over and backs JAE off of Parka while he checks on him. JAE just laughs as the fans begin throwing trash at JAE again. JAE gloats to the fans about his handiwork and the fans are absolutely livid with him as they chant “You Suck”. JAE then takes a mic and begins to talk. J. ARTHUR Ref, ask this idiot if he wants to quit already. I’m feeling a little generous today and I’ll let him walk away now to avoid permanent injury. Parka tries to stand, but he falls back down. The ref asks him if he wants to quit and he says no. J. ARTHUR Parka just quit! There’s no reason to keep fighting. COLE Just quit already! It’s not worth it! Parka tries to stand again and falls to the ground once more. The ref says he’s going to end the match, but Parka grabs him and threatens to kill him if he does. Parka uses the ref to pull himself up and manages to make it to his feet. The fans cheer as Parka stands. JAE tosses the mic and gets ready for Parka to come at him. COLE He really needs to think about this. He could be making a mistake. CABOOSE He made a mistake in even doing this match, or coming back to the OAOAST for that matter. Parka, breathing heavily, shoves the ref aside and runs at JAE. The two start trading punches and JAE easily gets the upper hand. Parka goes down to his knees as JAE blasts him in the head with punches. JAE then grabs him and tosses him into the ring before heading back up to the top rope. COLE Here we go again. JAE steadies himself and then goes for the Final Litigation……..but Parka moves again and this time JAE hits the mat hard! COLE He misses again! Both men lie on the mat in pain as the ref climbs back into the ring and checks on both men. The ref asks both men if they want to quit, JAE says no and Parka, through rough breaths, says no. COLE Parka is having a real hard time breathing here. CABOOSE He needs to just quit. This match isn’t for any titles, so why risk it!? The fans cheer on Parka as he slowly crawls across the mat. Parka holds his ribs in pain as he slowly pulls himself towards the ropes. JAE on the other side of the ring crawls to the ropes and begins pulling himself up. Parka pulls himself up one rope at a time and both men reach their feet almost at the same time. The fans stand on their feet and cheer as both men slowly meet in the middle of the ring and begin trading punches. JAE lands a punch and Parka stumbles back before hitting a punch of his own. JAE stumbles back and goes for another punch, but Parka ducks, kicks him in the gut, and then lifts through the pain to get him into the Day of the Dead position! COLE This could be it!!! Parka struggles to lift him high, but the pain is too much and JAE breaks free. JAE lands behind him and grabs him for a Backdrop, but JAE twists him around and hits the Judgment Call (Blue Thunder Bomb)! 1 2 3!! No!!! Parka kicks out at the last second!!! COLE I can’t believe it!! CABOOSE Me neither! What about you Coach? *Coach mumbles something from the ground* CABOOSE He’s speechless! JAE can’t believe his eyes and lets the ref know about his anger. JAE then pulls Parka to his feet and hoists him onto his shoulders for the Objection, but as JAE presses him up Parka twists out, grabs JAE’s head on the way down, and hits a desperation DDT! COLE What a great variation of the Float Over DDT that Parka uses!! Both men lie on the mat, trying to regain their composure. Parka crawls over and drapes an arm onto JAE. 1 2 3!! No!!! JAE kicks out again!!! Parka has a pained look on his face that is a mix of actual pain and frustration as he once again tries pulling himself up using the ropes. Parka signals for the end and waits for JAE to stand. As JAE stands he grabs him and lifts him into position for the Day of the Dead again, but JAE breaks free and hits a low blow before sliding out of the ring for a breather. COLE Oh come on!!! JAE walks over to a cell, steals a fan’s Coke and drinks it. The fan yells at him, but JAE just flips him off and goes back towards the ring. As JAE reaches the ring he sees a pissed off Parka reach his feet and JAE backs off a few steps. Suddenly the fans go absolutely nuts as Rick Edwards appears out of nowhere, blasts JAE in the back of the head with a forearm, and tosses JAE into the ring! CABOOSE That’s not fair!!! JAE is irate as he gets to his feet and yells at Rick on the outside. Rick just laughs and points behind JAE. JAE turns around only to get kicked right in the gut and hoisted onto Parka’s shoulders for the Day of the Dead! Parka struggles to lift him high and almost drops him. Rick shouts encouragement from the outside and Parka finally hits the Day of the Dead (Razor’s Edge)!! COLE He hit it!!! Parka lies on the mat for a moment in pain as the fans beat against the bars and cheer. CABOOSE These fans are gonna make me go deaf! Parka slowly pulls himself over and makes the cover. 1 2 3!!!! *Ding Ding Ding* BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner…THE PARKA!!!!! JAE lies on the mat holding his head as Rick slides in, gets in his face, and yells at him. RICK You Son of a Bitch!! Do you wanna fight me now!? Rick grabs him by the head to punch him, but Cain comes running out and Rick bails from the ring as the fans chant “Rick, Rick, Rick.” Rick comes around and helps Parka walk to the back as Parka can hardly stand. Parka pats him on the back and shakes his hand as Rick lifts Parka’s hand in victory. PARKA You’re alright kid. You’re alright. COLE Parka may have won this match, but he looks like he’s in bad shape. CABOOSE Speaking of bad shape maybe we should get some help for Coach…what am I saying?? Rick and Parka walk to the back as the fans continue to cheer and JAE is fuming in the ring as Cain helps him up. COLE This is not over between Rick and JAE that’s for sure. CABOOSE Not by a long shot. COACH *Mumbles incoherently* Yay…can I go home now mommy? Edited July 30, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) Cole Stephen Joseph and Bill Watts are arguing backstage! Stephen wasn't at HeldDown this Thursday, why is he here tonight? Caboose You idiot. His 10 days are up. NananaNA, hey hey hey...You're FIRED! Cole We take you to the back live! Stephen Joseph Dammit Watts, its gotten out of control, and the board isn't doing a damn thing about them. Bill Watts It isn't my call. Besides, who would ever trust you Stephen, to tell us what we should be doing. You're lucky we just can't get rid of you. Stephen Joseph Oh gee. Wow. Call me suprised. Watts, you can't get rid of me because I've yet to do anything wrong. Bill Watts Umm...Caboose? Stephen Joseph And who approved that? Look, it's simple. Tony was attacked earlier, by THEM. I'm trying to run a two-night PPV, and I needed his help. Now he's gone, hopefully he'll make his title defense. I don't like the fact that THEY are getting power, and taking it away from me. Bill Watts I rather like that...why is that my problem? Stephen Joseph At least Bill, you know who I am. And I know how to weild power. You think these guys do? Do you know them, their aims? I don't. You know me, I'm your known "evil" I asked you for temporary measures to ensure that THIS PPV continues, and that these fools from SWF get the message. Bill Watts Temp...Popick, SWF? These guys are SWF? Stephen Joseph Who else could they be? They're not our guys. What time has anyone had to do anything this sneaky? No Watts, I know for a fact that at least one of those guys has ties to the SWF. I saw Tyler's limo pick them up at the last show. Here's the proof. ::Stephen Joseph hands Watts a photographic picture.:: Bill Watts Hmmpph. Stephen Joseph All I'm asking ... ::Power goes out:: ::CLANG!:: ::DING!:: ::THUD!:: ::Power comes on:: Watts and Popick are both down in the hallway. Popick's bleeding from the mouth, Watts from his forehead. On the wall, a hastily scribbled "5". As they turn to see each other bloodied in the face, Popick spits up more blood. Bill Watts ::Cough:: Popick, Fine. You've got your emergency powers. Find out who these bastards are. Deal with them. Stephen Joseph ::Blood oozes from his lips:: Aye. I will. How much Authority do I have? Bill Watts As of this moment, until you have the situation under control, you have full control of all broadcasted TV OAOAST operations. Cole MY GOD. Stephen Joseph is back in control temporarily! Caboose This is Un-Fucking Called For. Edited July 30, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #1 COLE It's now time to begin the spectacle that many of you bought this show to see: The Emperor of Death Tournament, a sixteen-man single-elimination tournament that starts in just a minute, and will conclude tomorrow night, in the OAOAST's version of a Cage of Death! COACH Throughout the next two nights, you will see these sixteen men put each other through the damndest stipulation matches possible...you'll see Barbed Wire Boards, Fans Bring the Weapons, Thumbtack, and Four-Corner Lighttube matches! CABOOSE In the words of everyone on the message boards...this is gonna be sick! COLE Well, judging by the fact that the platform is set up for all four sides of the ring, I'm guessing it's time for Parental Indiscretion II: Daredevil's Delight. COACH In order to the platforms on each side of the ring, spanning the entire side and are elevated at least fourteen feet above the concrete floor, we have different weapons of destruction on each side of the ring. On the side facing the entrance cells, we have a large pile of chairs that will be more than enough to use for all four men. To the left of that, I see a large set of ladders stacked up on each other, which I'm sure all four of these high-fliers will use to their maxmium damage. On the opposite side of the ring, I see two large stacks of tables. And on our side of the ring, there's a gigantic hamper that's about five feet tall, three feet wide, and at least six feet long. COLE Plus, the referee will not be in the ring to start. It'll just be these four in the ring at first. At a randomly drawn time, the referee will be sent to the ring. CABOOSE Let's not forget the benefits for the winner of this match. He gets a bye into the semi-finals of the tournament, since this match technically eliminates as many people as two first-round matches and one quarter-final match does. Plus, Rick Edwards has agreed to put his X-Division Title on the line in this contest. COLE Without any further ado, let's go to the ring for Parental Indiscretion II: Daredevil's Delight! ("Mindfields" starts up, and SB87 comes out by himself...) BUFFER The following contest is both a first-round and quarter-final match in the Emperor of Death Tournament. It is also Parental Indiscretion II: Daredevil's Delight! Introducing first, weighing in tonight at 136 pounds...he is one-third of the Rave and Assault Squad...SB87! COLE You're looking at the future of high-flying wrestling right here, in SB87. ("Mindfields" continues, and out walks Nate. He ignores the fans, and checks the sturdiness of one of the pole towers that's helping to hold up the squared-off platform above the ring.) BUFFER His opponent...weighing in tonight at 192 pounds...the second third of the Rave and Assault Squad...Nate! ("Mindfields" still keeps playing, as Mikey comes out. He runs to the ring, slaps hands with his brother, but ignores SB87...) COLE Looks like he's totally in the zone here... BUFFER The third competitor...the third of the three Rave and Assault Squad members: Mikey! ("Mindfields" cuts out, and "Tear Away" starts up. Rick Edwards comes to the ring with the X-Division belt over his shoulder to a nice ovation. He hands it to a ring attendant as he nears the ring. But, he doesn't enter the ring since all three RAS members are in there.) BUFFER And the final competitor...from Houston, Texas...weighing in tonight at 210 pounds, he is the current X-Division Champion RICK EDWAAAAAARDS! *DING**DING* SB87, Nate, and Mikey all shake hands with each other. Edwards cautiously enters the ring. SB87 goes after him, but Nate and Mikey yell at him to stay back. Seconds later, Nate charges at Edwards. But, Rick ducks his Yakuza kick. Mikey charges at Rick, and Rick backdrops him over the top rope. Mikey lands on his feet on the apron, so Rick springboards off of the second rope on the other side of the corner, and brings him back in with a flying headscissors. SB87 charges at Rick, and backflips out of the legsweep attempt that Rick performs. SB87 then hops up for a hurricanrana, but Rick grabs him and flips him onto the other two! COACH Man, Rick is really handling these three well so far! Rick pulls Mikey up, and lets loose with repeated forearms to the face. He then whips Mikey off to the ropes. Mikey goes for a flying headscissors, but Rick tosses him at Nate, and Mikey accidentally brings Nate over with a tornado DDT! SB87 then leaps at him to perform a move out of wheelbarrow position, but Rick reverses that into a Flatliner. Mikey gets up and charges at Rick. Rick ducks a punch from Mikey, drops him onto his knee with an STO-like move, and then drops him with a regular STO! CABOOSE Might I suggest everyone jump him at the same time?!?!?!? Nate gets up, and Rick tries to kick him. Nate catches the kick, but Rick spins himself around and hits a reverse-rotation enziguri. Rick pulls Nate up and lifts him in an electric chair. But, Nate pushes out and lands on his feet behind Rick. He goes for a flying headscissors, but gets dropped with a side backbreaker. Rick immediately then puts Nate up on his shoulders and drops him on his knee with a DVD neckbreaker! SB87 charges at him, but Rick disposes of him over the top rope! COACH Goodbye, little one! Rick then runs, bounces off of the ropes, and gets leapfrogged by a just-standing Mikey. He sees SB87 outside of the ring, jumps, and hits a Spaceman plancha (no-touch top rope springboard dive)! Rick gets up, but walks into an attempted baseball slide headscissors by Mikey. But, Rick grabs onto Mikey's ankles, yanks on him, and tosses him onto SB87's prone body! COLE Creative use of the enemy... Rick then quickly climbs up the apron and onto the top rope. He sees Nate standing in the ring, and goes for a flying sunset flip. Rick connects, but Nate rolls through. Nate goes for a Hagekure (running knee to the face), but Rickl rolls back to duck it. Rick kips up, and Nate goes for a flying headscissors. But, Rick ends up twisting Nate in mid-move, and goes for a powerbomb. But, Nate instantly reverses that into a snap rana. Both men come back up, and Nate goes for a kick. Rick catches the leg, and then ducks the enziguri attempt. COACH He knew to do that since he regularly uses a version of that move. Rick then tucks his head down, rolls to his side until he's back onto his feet, and yanks on Nate to bring him back up, with him popping right into position for a Russian legsweep. Rick then rolls back onto his feet, keeping ahold of Nate, and drops him with a front-face Russian legsweep, driving him face-first onto his knee! Rick turns around, and ends up having to duck a springboard clothesline from Mikey, who had gotten to the apron seconds earlier. CABOOSE That came outta nowhere! Mikey rolls onto his feet, and then whips Rick off to the ropes. Rick comes off of the ropes with a handspring, using the momentum to jump backwards and hit a variation on the Sliced Bread #2! Rick sees SB87 on his feet on the floor and goes for a baseball slide. But, SB87 moves and Rick lands on his feet on the floor. SB87 runs at Rick, Rick lifts him over his shoulder, SB87 handsprings off of the ropes using the apron, and twists to go for a flying headscissors attempt. He hits it, but Rick cartwheels at the last second. Just as Rick gets to his feet, Mikey comes flying out of camera view with a tope con hilo over the turnpost onto Rick! COLE This match is moving at a lightning-quick pace! Mikey shakes himself off, and both him and SB87 work over Rick with repeated stomps. Mikey then pulls Rick up and tosses him back into the ring. Mikey hops onto the apron, and connects with a slingshot swanton onto Rick. SB87 hops onto the apron, amazingly hops over the top rope with a wide split, and drops a legdrop. Nate then comes off of the ropes and connects with a 360 running corkscrew splash on Rick. Mikey follows up with a cartwheel moonsault. SB87 then finishes off the series with an amazing running 450! CABOOSE The future is now, and his name is SB87! Nate and SB87 then pull Rick closer to a corner. Mikey then jumps to the second rope in the corner and hits a moonsault. Nate then jumps to the top rope and nails a turn-around legdrop. SB87 then grabs onto the top rope, and nails an Arabian press-style corkscrew splash! Mikey pulls Rick up, and connects with a snap suplex. Nate then pulls Rick off of the mat by the legs and drops him with a sitdown powerbomb. SB87 then pulls Rick up with a reverse front facelock, and connects with a jumping full-rotation version of the Roll of the Dice/Angel's Wings/Hero's Welcome, rotating all the way back around to a falling reverse DDT! COLE What was that?!?!?! Nate and Mikey then pull Rick up and lift him in a double side suplex position. They then toss him high in the air and drop him with a sitdown bomb/neckbreaker combo move (Backseat Driver)! SB87 then charges and hits a standing Shooting Star Press! Mikey pulls Rick up, and lifts him for a powerbomb. He then lets him dangle, and SB87 is able to dropkick him in the face. Mikey then lifts Rick, switches Rick's position, and drops him with a Death Valley Driver! Nate then runs at the ropes, springboards off of the second one, and hits a quebrada senton (corkscrew Lionsault)! CABOOSE niceNICE! Nate then pulls Rick up, and whips him off to the ropes. When he comes back off, Mikey and Nate lift him for a Harris Bros.-style H-Bomb, but then flip him onto his face in one fluid motion. SB87 then gets lifted by Mikey and Nate. He climbs to the point where he is standing on their shoulders, and launches off to hit a Whisper in the Wind on Rick! Nate then pulls Rick up, and shoves him into a corner. Nate goes to the opposite corner, and whips Mikey at him to connect with a flip into him! SB87 then whips Nate at Rick, and he nails another flip into him! SB87 then charges forward, looks to be going for the third charging flip in a row, but turns it into a standing dragonrana! COLE Is there anything this kid can't do? Nate and Mikey then charge to opposite ends of the ring, springboard off of the second rope, and connect with dueling Lionsaults onto Rick! SB87 then pulls Edwards up to his feet, and hands him over to Nate and Mikey. They then lift him up on their backs in a double piggyback, and fall back to slam him down on the mat. Nate then steps on the second rope and motions to the crowd. SB87 then pulls him down, and starts yelling at him for playing up the crowd. They shove each other, until Mikey gets them to stop. COLE Dissention in the RAS camp, eh? SB87 then climbs to the second rope, and connects with an impressive Shooting Star Press onto Rick! SB87 then goes for the cover, but there is no referee around. Nate and Mikey pull him off to yell at him for such an error, and they get into it again. All of a sudden SB87 jumps up high, flips off of their chests, and nails a moonsault press onto Rick, who had just stumbled onto his feet a second earlier. He lies on Rick for a second, but move as Nate and Mikey try and grab him. SB then punches both Nate and Mikey in the stomach, jumps onto their backs, and goes for a double Famouser-type move. But, they catch him in mid-air and drop him with an inverted powerbomb! COACH Looks like blood is thicker than water with Nate and Mikey! Nate then runs outside, and tosses two chairs into the ring. He sets them up, and then, alongside Mikey, attempts a double wheelbarrow suplex on SB87. But, he reverses that into a double bulldog, driving them both face-first onto the chairs! SB87 poses for a second, drawing boos from the crowd. He then pulls both of his usual partners up, going for a double-DDT. But, they reverse with a double release Northern Lights suplex! Nate then pulls SB87 up and lifts him onto his shoulders. Nate and Mikey then hit a Cruel Intentions/neckbreaker double-team move! COLE Two wrestlers are better than one! Nate then yells something to Mikey. Mikey then positions himself for a powerbomb from Nate. Nate then powerbombs Mikey onto SB87! Mikey sees that Rick's staggered to his feet, and kicks him in the mid-section. Mikey then whips Rick off to the ropes. Rick bounces off of the ropes, and Nate pops up to leapfrog over him. But, Rick ducks a clothesline by Mikey. Rick then stops, grabs Mikey, and hurls him at Nate, making him spear Nate in the process. CABOOSE I didn't know we'd see humans as weapons tonight. Mikey stumbles to his feet, and gets grabbed by Rick. Edwards then lifts Mikey, and drops him on his face with an inverted side suplex slam. Rick then sees SB87 stumbling around, and kicks him in the mid-section. Rick goes for another inverted side suplex slam, this time onto the chair, but SB87 lands on his feet behind Edwards. SB87 then elevates himself, and drops Rick face-first onto the chair with a Famouser! As this is happening, Nate rolls outside of the ring and grabs a ladder to toss back into the ring. COACH I think the atmosphere's about to change! Right after he tosses it in, SB87 tries diving onto him with a pescado (grabs rope, lunges himself over), but Nate slides into the ring. SB87 lands on his feet and tries grabbing the ladder at the edge of the apron, but Nate dropkicks it into his face! Nate then springboards to the top rope, and connects with a falling splash onto SB87! Nate picks up the ladder and turns around, but walks right into a baseball slide from Rick that knocks the ladder into his chest area! COLE What goes around comes around... Rick picks up Nate and the ladder, and performs a version of the White Russian legsweep with the ladder on Nate. He then makes sure the ladder is placed right on his chest, and connects with three repeated double stomps onto the ladder and his chest. SB87 sneaks back into the ring while this all happens. Rick then gets to his feet, and is met with a springboard knee to the face by Mikey! Mikey pulls Rick up, lifts him in piggyback position, and drops him with a piggyback stunner. Mikey gets up, and SB87 nails him with a dropkick from between the bottom and middle ropes! CABOOSE Will this match slow down? I'm having a hard time keeping up! SB87 then pulls Rick up, and slams his face on the apron. He follows up by lifting the rest of Rick and laying him down on the apron. SB87 then sets up two chairs on the floor, facing seat-to-seat, right behind Rick. SB87 follows up by goes into the ring. When Rick gets to his feet on the apron, SB87 charges at Rick. But, Rick sees it coming and is able to duck down and backdrop SB87 over the top rope and onto the chairs! COLE Wow! Rick turns around to look at what he's done, but suddenly gets pulled from out of camera view. The camera pans back to show that Mikey had gotten into the ring seconds earlier, out of everyone's site, and was dragging Rick over the top rope via a reverse facelock. He pulls until Rick's hanging by his knees. He keeps ahold of the reverse facelock, as Nate goes up top, and the brothers nail Rick with a top rope moonsault/reverse DDT double-team move! COLE What innovation! Nate and Mikey both try pulling Rick up for their next move. They then start shoving each other over who'll get the next move in. Mikey then throws a standing high kick at Nate's head, but Nate ducks. Nate then does the same, and Mikey ducks. Mikey then jumps into electric chair position. Nate pushes Mikey's legs upward, and Mikey flips onto his feet. Nate then jumps and hooks himself in wheelbarrow position, pushes up, and sends Mikey to the outside with a snapmare. Mikey stumbles around to the other side of the corner, and Nate delivers a slingshot-over-the-top-rana that sends him flying into the stack of tables! CABOOSE Props beware! We cut to a second camera, who shows, in the ring, Rick reversing a suplex attempt by SB87 with a small package, but there's no referee to count. So, he lets go and gets up.Rick then grabs one of the chairs that is already in the ring, and sets it up again. But while he's doing that, SB87 jumps him from behind. SB87 then locks in a cravate, leaps onto the second rope, and nails a Triple Cross (360 Swinging neckbreaker version of a facebuster) onto the seat of the chair! COACH That'll break a jaw! SB87 pops up to his feet and tries to draw the ire of the crowd. He turns around, and walks right into a springboard spinning wheel kick from Mikey! Mikey pulls SB87 up, hooks him in a pumphandle, and drops him with a spinning inverted powerbomb! Mikey then starts to climb up the ropes. He then lunges onto the pole tower, and climbs up until he's standing on the platform atop it. At around the same time, we see Nate climbing the tower from the floor on the corner to Mikey's right. He gets onto the platform, and they both walk across until they meet in the middle on their side. They exchange punches until Nate ducks one, hooks Mikey, and drops him a good ten feet with a big STO! COLE That was incredible! COACH Their splat on the mat was almost sickening! As the crowd chants "Holy Shit!", both Mikey and Nate lay on the mat, nearly knocked dead from the impact. After the crowd dies down, Rick pops up and deliver a version of his Doomsday Kick that sends SB87 through the ropes and to the outside. SB87 lies on the concrete floor, and Rick springboards to the top rope, nailing him with a devastating flying cannonball senton! COLE And now Rick tries to die as well! Rick slowly gets up, as a "Rick!" chant breaks out. He then sets up a table outside of the ring. He pulls Nate to the outside, who had regained mobility seconds earlier. Nate blocks a punch from Rick, and he starts exchanging stiff forearms to the face. They do this for about fifteen seconds before slightly seeing Mikey charging in the ring, as they side-step, and Mikey totally misses his mark for his tope con hilo, as he ends up flipping and falling through the table on the outside! CABOOSE That's a mistake that'll ruin you for sure! SB87 crawls into the ring right after Mikey goes through the table, and goes up top. He then yells at Nate and Rick to look at him. They turn around, and he nails them with an incredible Shooting Star Senton plancha! He grabs Rick and tosses him back into the ring. SB87 then quickly scales to the top rope, and connects with an incredible Skytwister Press! Nate slides into the ring a few seconds in. SB87 gets up, and delivers a one-legged moonsault kick to his stomach for his troubles. Nate goes down on all fours. SB87 then walks into a corner, charges, leaps on Nate's back with one foot, and nails a tabletop Shooting Star Press onto Rick! COACH This kid obviously won his feud against gravity! Nate stumbles to his feet, and SB87 jumps on his back in piggyback form. He then nails an incredible Code Red-style rolling prawn hold! A buzzer goes off, and the referee runs down to ringside! The referee slides in and counts the first pinfall of the match... 1... 2... Kickout! Mikey then slowly crawls back into the ring. SB87 kicks him in the face as he re-enters. SB87 then pulls him up and goes for a suplex. But, Mikey blocks it, changes his footing, and brings SB87 back with a cobra clutch Russian legsweep. Mikey then hooks SB87's head under his leg and cranks on his arm to lock in the Octopus hold. Seconds later, Nate dives at it to break it up. Nate pulls SB87 up, and lifts him for a crucifix powerbomb. He then sees Rick standing, and tosses SB87 at Rick. SB87 grabs onto Rick's head in mid-air and drops him with a stunner! COLE That was out of NOWHERE! SB87 stays seated and holds Rick's head over his shoulder, as Nate tells SB87 he's going to dropkick Rick, but then dropkicks both (one with each foot). Nate pulls SB87 up, and sends him off to the ropes. He then almost tears his head off with a Yakuza kick that makes SB87 do a backflip before landing! Nate then goes to the outside, grabs two chairs from one side, then goes to the table side, sets up a table, and lays the two chairs on top of it. He then climbs to the top rope, where Rick meets him with a forearm to the face. Rick goes for another, but Nate ducks it. Nate then places Rick on his shoulders, stands up fully, and nails an astounding fireman's carry swanton through the table/chair setup! COACH I dub that move "Death"! The crowd roars upon seeing that move, and the roar doesn't die down for about twenty seconds. Then, in the ring, SB87 and Mikey start exchanging forearms. Mikey ends up winning the striking battle, with four repeated forearms to the face. Mikey then lifts SB87 for a side suplex, and tosses him onto the ropes. However, SB87 uses the ropes for an Arabian press-style springboard onto his feet, and then slides to the outside. He then goes into the giant hamper of weapons, and pulls out a lighttube. He tries carrying it back into the ring, but as he's in the ropes, Mikey charges at him with a kick that breaks the lighttube over his face! COLE Here is a new element of danger that'll up the ante! Nate then rolls over and puts his arm on Rick for the pin... 1... 2... Mikey breaks it up by launching himself over the top rope and landing on them. Mikey then pulls Nate to his feet, and whispers something in his ear. Nate then shakes the cobwebs off, and they both go over to the chairs side. They each grab a set of chairs, and somehow set up an amazing pyramid of chairs (four on bottom, three above, two on top of that, and one on the top). SB87 brings Rick over to that side, as Nate and Mikey go back into the ring. Rick starts to fight back, as SB87 and him climb onto the apron. Nate and Mikey come off of the ropes on the other side, charge forward, and attempt diving speas at SB87 and Rick. But, Rick and SB87 hop up at the last second, and they end up flying through the ropes and crash through the chair pyramid! CABOOSE Well, THAT came back to bite them in the ass! Rick and SB87 climb back into the ring. Rick ducks a jumping spinkick from SB87, and puts him up for an electric chair. He then hooks SB87's arms, and drops him with the Assault Driver (split-legged electric chair slam)! He goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Rick then goes to the outside grabs a ladder, and throws it into the ring. He slides into the ring and sets it up in the corner. He pulls SB87 up, and performs an Irish whip that sends him back-first into the ladder. He then charges at SB87 and nails a perfect charging avalanche flip (Nebraskan Tumbleweed)! Rick then sets the ladder up near the corner and starts to climb it. He climbs slowly due to the injuries suffered earlier in the match. SB87 then begins to climb up the other end. SB87 and Rick then exchange punches at the top of the ladder. However, Rick wins the battle by smashing SB87's face on the top of the ladder. Rick then lifts SB87 in slam position, climbs to the top of the ladder, and nails an amazing moonsault fallaway slam! COACH How'd he pull THAT one out of his ass? After the crowd calms down and he's had time to get some of the pain to go away, Rick then crawls forward and goes for the pin... 1... 2... Mikey somehow pops of camera view and breaks it up. Mikey grabs the ladder out of the corner as Nate slides back into the ring. Mikey then puts the ladder around his neck and starts to spin around, in Terry Funk-like fashion. Nate gets to his feet, and repeatedly ducks the ladder shot attempts. After he ducks the fourth go-around, he grabs Mikey in a reverse waistlock...and German suplexes him with the ladder AROUND HIS NECK! CABOOSE I think he just killed his brother! Nate can't bridge that into a pin, so he gets up. He attempts a high kick aimed at a just-risen Rick Edwards, but Rick catches it. He then spins Nate around on one foot. When he comes back around, Rick puts him up on his shoulder, and nails an Eight Second Ride (Kryptionite Crunch/Air Raid Crash into a Flatliner) onto a chair! Rick holds his own arm for a second, as he drove his own arm down onto the chair. He then pops up to go for the pin, but collides skulls with Mikey when he does so. COLE It looks like both men had the same idea there... CABOOSE I think all four guys have the same idea here: get the damn win! Mikey then hops onto Rick's back and goes for a Code Red. But during the upward motion, Rick hooks Mikey's arms back. He then sits down while letting go of the arms to hit a Gory Special faceslam! Rick pops up and gets the crowd going with his own energetic state. But, he then turns around and walks into an incredible standing windmill kick from SB87 that sends him to the outside. SB87 goes up top, and nails a plancha version of the Dope Nose (twisting Shooting Star Press)! COACH He could have broken his "dope nose" there... CABOOSE Hardy har har... Both SB87 and Rick rise dazily at around the same time, as SB87 hit his head on the floor as he landed. As they rise, both Mikey and Nate are going to the top rope on the two corners on that side. They launch off...and connect with dueling Reverse 450 planchas to SB87 and Edwards! Nate then grabs a table, and sets it up on the floor. He then connects with a punch to Mikey's face. He pulls Mikey up onto the apron as he stands there himself. He then puts Mikey in the torture rack to position him for The Bad Trip (Rack Piledriver). He tosses him up to drive him down, but Mikey knew it was coming and reversed it into a hurricanrana through the table! COLE That's the bad thing about having a sibling as your opponent: he always knows your next move. Mikey then goes for the pin... 1... 2... SB87 breaks it up. He then tosses Mikey back into the ring. SB87 then climbs onto the apron and up the ropes. As this is going on, Rick is setting up another table on the floor behind them. SB87 then jumps upward and starts to hang off of the pole underneath the platform above him. Mikey then gets to his feet. He nails a no-touch springboard dive to the top rope, and spears SB87 off of the railing, through the table, and to the floor! COACH In the immortal words of every fan at home: "DAY-UM!" The crowd once again starts to chant "Holy shit!". After the crowd dies down, Rick comes up behind a dazed Nate and tosses him into the ring. He lifts him, and drops him with a brainbuster. Rick then grabs one of the ladders already in the ring and sets it up. He climbs it, and then puts one foot on the top rope to bounce off and fall with the ladder across Nate's ribcage area. Rick then clutches his leg. The camera closes in, and we see a giant blood stain forming in the pant leg. He then literally rips off part of his pant leg with his bare hands. The referee hands him athletic tape, and he tapes up his leg. COLE This shows how much Rick Edwards wants to keep going: he's going to tape himself up just to continue. He limps around on the leg for a second before Nate is somehow able to get up, come from behind, and nail a great reverse hurricanrana on Rick! Mikey then comes back into the ring, and Nate kicks him in the stomach for his troubles. Nate then goes for a Vertebreaker, but Mikey lands on his feet, lifts Nate, and drops him with a Dungeon Bomb (flips Nate over with side suplex and drops him face-first with bulldog). COACH That'll make you pay for plastic surgery! Mikey then goes for the cover.... 1... 2... Rick Edwards breaks it up. Rick and Mikey then start trading punches on their feet. For some reason, both then go to the second rope. Mikey then nails a forearm to the stomach that curls him over. Mikey then hooks Rick's head, and nails a flipping neckbreaker that doubles as a senton onto Nate! In the way that they landed, Mikey had landed in a pinning position on Nate... 1... 2... SB87 breaks it up. SB87 pulls Nate up and puts him in a bent position. SB87 then jumps onto Nate's back, and falls back with a nasty-looking cannonball senton that sends Nate flat on his face. He sees that Rick's stumbled to his feet, and goes for a flying headscissors attempt. But, Rick clutches SB87 and drives him down on his head with a tombstone piledriver! Rick then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Mikey breaks up the pin with a bizarre Shaolin-style twisting legdrop. He pulls Rick up, lifts him, and drops him with a sick brainbuster head-first, causing him to drop down onto SB87's face! Mikey goes for the pin... 1... 2... Nate breaks it up. Nate connects with two forearms to Mikey's back, and sends him off to the ropes. Mikey ducks a clothesline, comes off the ropes on the other side, hops up, and leaches himself onto Nate in a wheelbarrow position. He pushes off of the mat, but Mikey lifts and tosses him upward, causing him to nail an amazing Shooting Star Press onto Nate! Mikey then grabs Nate by the hair, and pulls him up to the top rope as he climbs the ropes himself. He then grabs him almost like he's going for a Russian legsweep to the outside...but then launches off, as they nail a duel 450 onto SB87! COACH That's something we've never seen before! Both Nate and Mikey go for pins on their seperate opponents... 1... 2... Both look over at the other, and collide while trying to break the other's cover up. They then come to their feet, and Mikey kicks Nate stiffly in the thigh. Nate replies with a stiff sidekick to Mikey's ribs. Mikey responds to that with a loud kick to Nate's chest. Nate looks up angrily, and throws a kick at Mikey's head. But, Mikey ducks it and lifts Nate in an electric chair as he's scrunched down. He then grabs the back of Nate's legs and tosses him up, with him landing in a cannonball senton onto Edwards! While this is going on, SB87 sneaks outside, reaches into the big box of weapons, and grabs a pair of kickpads with lighttubes attached, to which he places on his boots. COLE Those could be dangerous... CABOOSE Isn't this whole tournament? SB87 then climbs onto the apron, springboards to the top rope, and connects with a flying shoulderblock to Nate, who had just risen. SB87 then kicks Mikey in the stomach, and positions him a little closer, and nails an incredible standing moonsault to Nate that doubles as a double-footed kick to Mikey's face, breaking the lighttubes over his face! Rick rolls outside of the ring during this, grabs a chair, then runs to the weapons hamper, grabs a set of lighttubes and some tape, and tapes the lighttubes to the chair! COACH He's constructing one hell of a weapon there! COLE I think the beating in this match has sent his already-unsteady state of mind into hyperdrive! Rick then slides into the ring with his lighttube chair. He sees SB87 standing, spins him around, and cracks him over the skull with the chair, breaking most of the lighttubes in the process! He sees that there's still a bunch of broken glass stuck to the chair, so he places it on Nate's head, and sandwiches it with a brutal double stomp! He see Mikey on all fours, tosses the chair low, and dropkicks it to the side of Mikey's head! CABOOSE That's concussion city! Edwards goes outside to the tables, and grabs three of them. He then calls over four ring attendants to help him out. A couple help him stack the tables in formation, and the other two go to get stuff out of the box of weapons. They come back with a large bag of thumbtacks, various lighttubes, and a large roll of barbed wire. Rick climbs to the apron with one of the ring attendants, and starts to wrap the table in barbed wire. The tallest assistant is busy taping the lighttubes onto the middle table. The other two assistants are pouring the thumbtacks onto the bottom table, and spreading them out so that they're all sharp-side-up. COLE I think whoever goes through this is losing! Rick then gets handed a super-tall ladder by one of the attendants, and slides that into the ring. He sees Mikey perching the top rope, and jumps up to shake the top rope and crotch him. Rick then climbs the corner and turns Mikey around to face the mat. Rick then attempts a top rope rana, but Nate forearms him in the back. Nate then climbs the top rope behind them, and goes up higher on the pole tower. He then launches off, and brings Rick over with a sunset bomb, which in turn makes Rick give Mikey a hurricanrana, and Mikey lands right on SB87! COACH That was INCREDIBLE! COLE I think they're all taken out! Due to the no-DQ rules of the tournament, the referee is not allowed to count them down. But, all four competitors slowly rise to their feet. Mikey gets up first, and sets up the super-tall ladder. Rick and SB87 get up, and SB87 charges at Rick. But, Rick backdrops him, and SB87 lands on the floor hard. Rick then goes to the outside, and lifts him onto the bottom table of the triple-decker. Rick then grabs some of the roll of tape from the lighttubes earlier, and tapes SB87 onto the table! CABOOSE That's unfair! Rick then sees that Nate's trying to go for an Asai moonsault on him, and clips his knee in mid-flight. Rick then climbs onto the apron, forearms Nate in the back of the head a few times, and then lifts him and lays him down on the top table. He then re-arranges the barbed wire, and ends up tying Nate and the table together with the barbed wire! Rick turns around, and sees Mikey climbing the pole tower to get onto the platform above. Rick starts climbing, but Mikey gets up there before him. Rick then starts throwing punches upward to get Mikey on the defensive. Rick then gets fully standing on the platform. He screams something, then jumps and sends Mikey OFF OF THE PLATFORM AND THROUGH ALL THREE TABLES, WEAPONS, AND OPPONENTS WITH A DOOMSDAY KICK! COLE OH MY GOD! OH MY FREAKIN' GOD! CABOOSE JESUS H. CHRIST! COACH WOW! CROWD "Holy Fuck! Holy Fuck!" Rick then stands upon the platform and surveys the damage below him. He looks around at the crowd, who are rabid...and nails an amazing MOONSAULT OFF OF THE PLATFORM ONTO THE DAMAGED BODIES! Rick lands on Nate, and the referee counts... 1... 2... 3! BUFFER Your winner of the contest...and STILL X-Division Champion, Rick Edwards! COLE Can you believe that? COACH No, I honestly can't! CROWD "Thank You! Thank You!" COLE Rick damn sure earned his slot in the semi-finals with this performance. WOW! CABOOSE But let's not put down the Rave and Assault Squad...they were MORE than formidable opponents. They each, at one point or another, had this match in the bag. Rick rolls into the ring, where the referee hands him the X-Division Title belt. He hugs it as he lies in pain on the mat. We then see attendants and officials who help Nate, Mikey, and SB87 into the ring. They either go down on their knees in pain, or hold themselves up with the ropes. Rick extends his hand to all of them...and Nate and Mikey shake it! COLE That's one hell of a show of respect! Rick then extends his hand to SB87...and SB87 flips him off, as the crowd creates a chorus of boos! Mikey and Nate yell at him for doing that, and he slaps both of them in the face before running off. The camera closes in on him right before he exits, and he says "Wait until you see what I got on Thursday, you ungrateful assholes!" COACH I can't believe what he just did! That disrespectful son of a bitch! COLE Well, even if he is disrespectful, that was a great performance by all four, and hopefully it opens the eyes of the Board of Directors about the Rave and Assault Squad. But, your winner and still X-Division Champion, advancing to the semi-finals automatically, Rick Edwards! More to come! QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Edited August 1, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #2 COLE It's now time for our next first-round match in the Emperor of Death Tournament, as Drek Stone, the rookie phenom who's taken this company by storm and won the OAOAST "Insert Nationality Here" Title, and literally given it to Italy, will face one-half of unarguably the most popular tag team to come across the block in a long time, Johnny "Jam" Jackson of the Global Party Exchange! COACH It will be a two-out-of-three lighttube log cabin match, meaning that in order to win, you must make your opponent go through or break or somehow destroy two of these three-foot high log cabins made of lighttubes. CABOOSE I totally see Drek winning this match, since Jackson's a tag team specialist and not a solo wrestler, and going on to both destroying Mad Cappa inside the Cell tomorrow and winning the tournament in one fell swoop! COLE On the contrary, I believe that Jackson might have this one in the bag, as even though Drek is a more competent singles wrestler by nature, the Mad Cappa situation and the Hell in a Cell match tomorrow night...and even if he does win here, I don't see him having much, if any success tomorrow. COACH On that note, let's go to the ring for our next contest! ("Make Her Say" starts playing, and Johnny Jackson comes out to the screams of the same girls that screamed for his partner earlier. The drunk guys who booed from earlier are out back throwing up.) BUFFER The following is a Two Out of Three Lighttube Log Cabin First-Round Match in the Emperor of Death Tournament! Introducing first, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 212 pounds...he is Johnny "Jam" Jackson! COLE Jackson might take his frustrations for his team not getting a tag title shot tonight out in this tournament. ("Woke Up This Morning" then starts up, and Drek Stone comes out with his fists fully taped, wearing a white wifebeater with black slacks. He hands off his gold chains to a ring crew assistant, and slides into the ring, giving them the Italian salute to a chorus of boos.) BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 235 pounds, he hails from Brooklyn, New York, and is the OAOAST Italian Champion...he is "Reckless" Drek Stone! *DING**DING* Right at the bell, as Johnny acknoledges a fan screaming for him, Drek runs across the ring and delivers a knee to the back. Drek then pounds him with forearms to the upper back. After Drek's done doing that, he hooks Jackson's neck and snapmares him to the mat. Drek then drops down repeatedly with knees to Johnny's back. Drek then pulls Jackson up, and delivers a stiff chop to his chest. Jackson falls back to the ropes, and receives another rather-stiff chop to his chest. CABOOSE I knew it: you fools are totally wrong, like usual. Stone then whips Jackson off to the ropes. He bounces off of the ropes, and runs right into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Drek pulls Johnny up, and delivers a stiff European uppercut right to his jaw. Jackson goes flying back into a corner. Drek delivers a stiff forearm to Jackson's face and yells "CAPPA!" during it. Drek nails another forearm, and again yells "CAPPA!" during it. He does this twice more. COACH Looks like Drek is imagining that Johnny Jackson is the Mad Cappa! Drek then goes to the opposite corner, runs at Jackson, and nails a spinning wheel kick that sends Drek over the top rope and standing on the apron. Drek takes a few steps forward, turns around, and knocks a stumbling Jackson down with a clothesline. Drek then grabs onto the top rope with both hands, and nails a slingshot legdrop into the ring. Drek pulls Jackson up, and goes for a slam. But, Jackson slips out of the back end, and lands on his feet. He then nails a dropkick to the back of Drek's head! COLE Jackson might not be liking being pounded on by Drek... COACH To quote Caboose, "Gee, ya think?" Drek stumbles through the ropes and to the outside upon getting nailed with that dropkick. Jackson goes for a pescado, but Drek moves out of the way. Jackson lands on his feet on the floor, but Drek kicks him in the groin. Drek then lifts Jackson for a suplex, but then charges and sends him groin-first into the ringpost! CABOOSE I doubt any of these squeeling teens in the crowd will have Johnny's babies any time soon! Jackson is set down chest-first onto the apron, and Drek lets loose with forearms to his back. Drek then gets under Johnny and lifts him in a fireman's carry position. He then drops him with a Samoan drop onto the concrete. He puts Johnny on the apron, and goes to grab one of the three lighttube log cabins to position it. Drek then climbs to the apron and pulls Johnny onto his feet. He then lifts him for a suplex, but Johnny fights his way out of it. Jackson then tosses Drek back into the ring. Drek comes into his feet, and Jackson nails him with a springboard bodypress! COLE Nice! Both men get to their feet, Drek slower than Johnny, and Johnny nails a flying headscissors. Drek groggily comes to his feet after that, and walks right into a standing hurricanrana by Jackson! Both men come up again, with Drek groggily stumbling back into the ropes. Jackson punches him in the side of the head before whipping him off to the ropes. Drek comes off of the ropes and runs right into a high standing dropkick from Johnny! COACH He got some air on that one! Drek then rolls to the apron. He comes to his feet, and Johnny springboards to the second rope inside of the ring. He then leaps off, and nails a turnaround dropkick to make Drek fall to the floor! Johnny then waits for Drek to get up on the floor. When he does, Johnny charges to the other side, bounces off of the ropes, runs forward, and nails Drek with a beautiful tope con hilo! COACH Jackon got some nice elevation on that flip! Jackson landed badly on that one, as both slowly come to their feet. When both men get up, Jackson goes for an Irish whip. But, Drek reverse the Irish whip, turns around, and punches Johnny in the nutsack. Drek then lifts Johnny in spinebuster position, charges forward, and drives him back-first into the ringpost. Drek then hooks Johnny, lifts him, and drops him with a side suplex. Drek pulls Jackson up, and drives him into the ring apron with a Russian legsweep. CABOOSE Any blind man can see that Drek's assaulting Jackson's back right now. Drek then lifts Jackson in an electric chair, and places him so that he's standing on the apron. Drek then yanks on his foot so that he comes down jaw-first on the apron. Drek then positions Johnny for a powerbomb and lifts him. But, Jackson punches Drek and attempts to reverse with a hurricanrana. But, Drek is able to hold Jackson up, and kicks him hard in the spine. Drek then pulls Johnny up and tosses him into the ring. Drek then grabs one of the log cabins and has the referee help him lift it into the ring. COLE We could see the first kaboom of this match... Drek slides into the ring, pulls Jackson up, and drops him with a DDT. Drek then lifts him on his shoulders in fireman's carry position, and hurls him over onto his back. Drek then drags the lighttube log cabin closer and pulls Jackson up. He locks in a full nelson and goes for his patented Recker (Dragon Suplex), but Jackson hooks his leg around Drek's to block. Johnny then scores with a standing switch into a side suplex version of the Side Effect. COACH Jackson barely escaped certain danger! Johnny pulls Drek up, hooks his head, and spins around to nail a Tornado DDT. Drek then stumbles up and walks into a corner. Jackson charges at him and brings him over with a monkey flip. Drek stumbles up, and walks into a spinning wheel kick by Johnny. Jackson pulls Drek up and slams him down. Johnny then runs to the ropes, springboards, and nails a perfect Lionsault. Jackson pulls Drek up with a headlock, charges forward, leaps off of the second rope, and nails a Tornado bulldog. COLE This looks like a comeback from "Jam"! Jackson then starts signalling for something as Drek lies there, slowly coming to his feet. When he does, Johnny charges at Drek, but out of pure instinct, bends down and backdrops Jackson up and sends him through the log cabin! BUFFER Drek Stone is now up one log cabin to none. Drek slowly pulls Jackson out of the pile of broken glass and mercury powder, being careful to avoid getting cut, and tosses him out of the ring. Drek follows him. Drek pulls Johnny to his feet, and sends him back down with a hard forearm to the face. Drek then pulls Johnny up, grabs him by the shirt and back of pants, and literally slides him across the floor chest-first! CABOOSE It's just like a scene out of "Cocktail"! Drek walks over to Johnny, yanks him up by the back of his shirt as he stands over him, and connects with four stiff crossface shots to the side of his face. He then pulls Jackson up, hooks him, and tosses him across the floor with a big release Northern Lights suplex! Drek then sees a fan flipping him off, and takes his time to argue with the guy. COACH This could be a huge mistake by the still relatively-new Stone. Stone then gives the guy the "Italian Salute" and pulls Jackson up. Drek goes for an Irish whip, but Jackson was able to rest up during Drek's argument and gets the energy to reverse it into an Irish whip into the ringpost. Jackson walks over to Drek, gets him fully on his feet, and lets loose with a series of rapid-fire punches. He then pulls Drek's shirt up over his head and connects with three stiff chops to the chest. Jackson follows up by hooking Drek and bringing him over with a snap suplex. COLE This looks like Johnny's third wind! Jackson pulls Stone back up and tosses him into the ring. Jackson follows him in. He then yells at one of the ring attendants, and the guy brings Jackson the second lighttube log cabin, which Jackson sits down near a corner. Johnny pulls Drek up, and nails a spinning neckbreaker. Johnny then waits as Drek dazily comes to his feet. As Drek rises to his feet, albeit bent over, Jackson charges and nails a running flip neckbreaker. Jackson then points at the log cabin to signal for something... COACH This doesn't look good for Drek Stone! Jackson pulls Drek up, and lifts him for an over-shoulder powerbomb. Jackson charges at the log cabin, but Drek slips out of the back end. Jackson turns around and charges at Drek. Drek uses Johnny's momentum against him and nails a gutwrench suplex into the corner, crushing Jackson's neck on the landing. Drek then pulls Jackson up by his hair, and brings him down with a Russian legsweep. Stone finds the cameraman on the apron and says into his camera, "Cappa, this is for you." CABOOSE Drek sends better messages than even Hallmark! Drek pulls Jackson up, and lifts him on his shoulders. Drek then attempts a TKO. But, Jackson reverses mid-move and nails a falling reverse DDT. Jackson rushes up, and quickly repositions the log cabin where it's standing in the corner. Jackson then sees that Drek is up, and charges at him for a clothesline. But, Drek ducks, and Jackson turns around into an inverted atomic drop. Drek then immediately flows that into a Rude Awakening neckbreaker. CABOOSE Slow the flippy down! Drek pulls Jackson up and lifts him onto his shoulders as he walks. But, Jackson slips out right before Drek goes for the Death Valley Driver into the log cabin. Jackson then ducks under a clothesline when Drek turns around while punching him in the stomach at the same time. Johnny goes for a Northern Lights suplex into the log cabins, but Stone punches his way out. Drek then takes a few steps back and charges at Jackson. But, Johnny leapfrogs Drek, and Drek goes charging head-first through the log cabin! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the score is now one log cabin apiece; the next log cabin destruction will determine the winner. COACH That couldn't have been pleasant for Drek Stone. Jackson immediately seizes the moment and slides to the outside to get the third log cabin. He then lifts it, and the referee assists in bringing it over the top rope and into the ring. Jackson slides into the ring, pulls Drek up, and goes for a powerbomb. But, Stone holds on and sweeps Jackson's legs out from under him. Stone goes for a catapult, but Jackson oddly crawls away on his back to reach out and grab the bottom rope. Jackson then rolls to the apron. CABOOSE Look at the coward... COLE Yeah, like none of your heroes have done any worse to get away from punishment for worse reasons... Jackson rises to his feet on the apron, and Drek goes for a shoulder charge to the stomach. But, Jackson leaps up and guillotines Drek on the middle rope with a legdrop. Stone falls backwards onto the mat as Johnny climbs up top. He then launches off, and connects with a top rope legdrop. Jackson then takes a second to rip off his shirt for some reason... CABOOSE Aww, look at the little puke trying to get the few females in this building to wet their panties for him. Johnny pulls Drek up, hooks his head, and goes for a tornado DDT. But, Drek tosses Jackson off in mid-rotation. Jackson lands on his feet, but get dropkicked in the testicular hanging region for his trouble. Stone hooks Jackson, and nails a snap suplex. Stone holds on, turns it over, rises up, and nails a second snap suplex. Drek holds on again, turns, comes to his feet, and lifts Jackson for a suplex. But this time, he keeps him held up as the crowd counts the seconds... 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! Drek then drops him with a big stalling suplex. Drek then gets up and brushes himself off. He steps on Jackson's head for no reason before pulling him up. He grabs Jackson in a uranage, hooks the wrist underneath his legs, and brings him over with a wrist-clutch Exploder! Drek yells out that "it's over", and pulls Johnny up with a front facelock. He then goes for the Stonecutter (Implant DDT) into the log cabin, but Jackson blocks it, twists out of the facelock, and nails a short-arm spinning wheel kick. COLE Talk about escaping impending doom! Stone comes to his feet, and Johnny clotheslines him over the top rope. Jackson then rushes off to the other side, comes off of the ropes, charges towards Drek's side, and nails an incredible Spaceman hilo dive (no-touch top rope springboard flip dive)! Jackson shakes off the pain from landing on a concrete floor to get up, leap onto the apron, and nail a moonsault on a prone Drek Stone! COACH Johnny Jackson is busting out his exciting aerial assault! Jackson pulls Stone up, locks in a Dragon facelock, and nails a sitdown reverse DDT! Jackson hurt his tailbone slightly, and takes a moment to rub it before going to the apron. He slips while climbing it, but gets back up on it. He then starts a clap to get the crowd going, and they follow suit. Jackson then charges and leaps off, but Drek moves, making Johnny miss his frog splash! CABOOSE That'll hurt the man-boobs! Drek pulls himself up using the apron curtain and the apron itself. Stone then pulls Jackson up, and lifts him to nail a gutbuster on one-half of the Global Party Exchange. Drek then lifts Jackson and lies him down on the apron. Stone climbs up on the apron himself, and pulls Jackson onto his feet. Drek forearms Johnny in the face while holding onto him, and then sits him down on the top turnbuckle. Drek climbs onto the second rope, and then over the top so that he's back inside the ring while standing on the second rope. As he struggles for positioning in the ring, a masked man wearing a "Mad Cappa" shirt slides into the ring and moves the lighttube log cabin. CABOOSE What the hell? The masked man sneaks out to the floor so that Drek doesn't see him do his deed. Drek then hooks Jackson, and brings him back with a big Russian legsweep from the second rope! But, there was no lighttube log cabin to go through! Drek looks around confused, as he sees the log cabin in one piece off to the side. He looks around, and sees the masked man wearing the "Cappa" shirt. CABOOSE I think someone's gonna get hurt! Drek then slides outside of the ring, and starts to chase the masked man. After their third lap around the ring, Drek dives out and tackles the man down to the concrete floor. He repeatedly punches him in the head and neck as he rips at the mask. He eventually gets the mask off, tosses it away, and lifts the man's head up to see who it is....it's Tom Goran! Tom Goran?!?! COLE Um...what just happened? Drek looks down angered, but not as angered as before, and slams Goran face-first into the concrete floor to knock him unconcious before going back into the ring. Drek then pulls Jackson up and goes for the Recker. But, Jackson flips out mid-move and lands on his feet! Drek gets up, and receives a facebuster for his troubles! COACH There has to be many jagged pieces of glass and thumbtacks in that mat right now! That can't feel good! However, that wind knocked the energy out of Johnny Jackson, as he stays down with Drek. Both men slowly get up, as the crowd cheers on Jackson. The referee isn't counting due to the no-DQ rules, but he is trying to get both men to start fighting again. When both men finally rise, they charge at each other. Jackson leaps over Drek, hooks Stone's arms with his legs, and nails a Code Red! CABOOSE How'd he do that? COLE He has heart, that's how! Jackson then pulls Drek up and whips him off to the ropes. Johnny nails a nice-looking flipping lariat that sends Stone down. Jackson pulls Drek up, and lifts him over his shoulder. Johnny again signals that he's going to put Drek through the log cabin to win, but Drek slips out the back end. Stone then hooks Jackson's head and nails a reverse DDT/Russian legsweep combo move. CABOOSE Looks like "Mr. Heart" just ran out! Drek then slides his thumb across his throat to signal the end. He pulls Jackson up with a full nelson to indicate that the Recker is coming. Just then, The Mad Cappa's music starts up! COLE WHAT?!? Could it be? CABOOSE This is total bullcrap! Drek then shoves Jackson down, and gets ready to be confronted by The Mad Cappa. He looks around to all sides to check to see where Cappa's coming from, but he doesn't see him at all. Drek then climbs to the second rope and yells at Cappa to come out. Cappa doesn't come out, but Johnny Jackson rises and forearms Drek in the back! CABOOSE This smells like a sabotage to me! Jackson then turns Drek around as he's seated on the top rope. Jackson springboards to the top rope beside Drek, leaps up....and sends Drek flying over and crashing through the lighttube log cabin with a top rope hurricanrana! *DING**DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...advancing to Round Two in the Emperor of Death Tournament...Johnny "Jam" JAAAAAACKSON! COLE It looks like Drek Stone doesn't have to worry about surviving the Emperor of Death Tournament and Cappa inside the Hell in a Cell all in one night! CABOOSE Cappa's playing mind games, I tell ya! Mind games! (Jackson exits the ring with his arm raised in victory by the referee as the crowd cheers. After coming to, Drek goes nuts in the ring, repeatedly kicking the bottom rope and kicking at the timekeeper after he handed him back his Italian Title belt.) COACH And from the looks of it, those mind games might be working! Drek Stone might just be getting some slippery fingers from holding that belt. COLE This makes tomorrow night's Mad Cappa versus Drek Stone match inside of the Hell in the Cell for the Italian Championship just THAT more interesting! Also tomorrow night, Johnny Jackson will try and become Emperor of Death, as he just advanced to Round Two! More in a few seconds... QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Edited July 30, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #3 COLE Let's go to the ring for our next tournament match, Four-Corner Barbed Wire Boards! ("Make Her Say" starts up, and Scotty Static comes out, not waiting for his cue. He's dressed in a wifebeater tanktop with red pants, sporting the different look just for this show. A large group of females in assorted cells yell for him, but some of the more drunken, angry male fans decide to go against the mold and boo him, which throws Scotty off a bit.) CABOOSE I love me some drunks! BUFFER The following contest is the first of the first-round matches in the OAOAST Emperor of Death Tournament, and is a Four-Corner Barbed Wire Board match, where each corner will have a five and a half foot tall, three foot wide barbed wire board standing in it. Introducing first, from Orlando, Florida; weighing in tonight at 192 pounds....SCOTTY STAAAAAATIC! ("Black" starts up, and the 24/7 Champion Hoff comes out, wearing a white Thrillogy shirt and jeans instead of his usual ring gear. He's largely booed, except for the group of drunks who booed Static, who decide to cheer for Hoff.) BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 277 pounds; he is the current 24-7 Champion and a member of the Thrillogy, he is HOFF! ::bell rings:: Hoff takes a look at the boards, and even cautiously puts his thumb on one of the barbs on one of the barbed wire boards, pulling it back quickly when he feels it push on his skin. Hoff then turns around and gets to business. Both men come to center-ring and lock up. Hoff then easily shoves the much-smaller Static down to the mat. Static looks up at Hoff frustratedly and then rises to his feet. Static and Hoff then lock up again, but this time, Static uses his speed to go into a reverse waistlock. Hoff quickly powers out, whips Static around by the arm, and sends him down with a sick hammer forearm to the side of the face! COLE DAMN! Hoff pulls Static up, stands him up with the ropes, and whips him off to the other side. Static ducks a clothesline attempt from Hoff, and gets caught while going for a bodypress. But, he punches his way out of the slam, and comes off of the ropes again. Static then goes for a tornado DDT, but Hoff tosses him off. Static lands on his feet, but falls down while trying to avoid the barbed wire board in the corner. Hoff tries to grab him, but Scotty rolls outside of the ring. Hoff tries to block every possible entrance way into the ring from Scotty, but Static is able to slide in past Hoff. Hoff tries grabbing him again, but he quickly crawls through Hoff's legs. COLE Static's using some amazing speed here to counter-act Hoff's size...good gameplan! Hoff turns around, and Static kicks upward. Hoff grabs his leg and pulls, but Static uses that to flip onto his feet. Static then pops Hoff in the mouth with a forearm. The strike stuns Hoff. Static then comes off of the ropes and connects with a flying forearm to the face. That sends Hoff reeling backward. Static then gets up and dropkicks Hoff. That sends him back to the ropes. Static then comes off of the ropes on the other side, charges at Hoff, and connects with a clothesline that sends both men over the top rope, with Scotty landing on the apron and Hoff landing on the floor. COACH And so the fight begins... Static rolls back into the ring. Hoff quickly comes to his feet, but Static tries to send him back down with a pescado press. But, Hoff catches Static and throws him back into the ring. Hoff slides back into the ring quickly. Static tries crawling away, but Hoff pulls him up by the pants. He then locks Scotty in a front facelock in the center of the ring. He keeps Static centered in the middle of the ring as Static attempts to squeeze his head out of the front facelock. He slowly does, and then locks in a wristlock on Hoff. But, Hoff easily pulls Static in and reverses it with a headlock. COACH Um...Michael? It doesn't look like Hoff's really wanting to use those barbed wire boards... Static tries to shove Hoff off to the ropes, but Hoff won't budge. Hoff then scores with a headlock takeover, and keeps Scotty grounded with a side headlock. Static repeatedly tries to reverse with a headscissors, but Hoff shoves Scotty's legs away. Hoff then switches to a grounded front facelock. Static tries to twist out in both directions, but Hoff's too powerful. COLE I honestly think that Hoff's afraid to even get near the boards! CABOOSE Shut up! He just wants to prove that he doesn't NEED to use weapons to win! Hoff cranks in on the front facelock for a few more seconds before switching to a grounded reverse waistlock. Hoff then turns Static over for a waistlock bridge...1......2....Static rolls back over. Hoff rolls Scotty onto his stomach. Hoff keeps ahold of the waistlock as he comes to his feet, pulling Static up with him. Hoff then switches to a half-nelson, keeping ahold of Static's waist with his other arm. Hoff applies pressure to the shoulder and neck as the restless crowd starts to chant "BOOOORRRING! BOOOOOORING!" CABOOSE Yes, Hoff will be "SCOOOOORING!" tonight... COLE How do you know? CABOOSE I paid for his g...I mean, I met her before the show. Hoff then spins Static around and re-applies the side headlock. Hoff laughs at the fans, who keep chanting "BOOOORRRING!" at the match. Hoff then lifts Static for a slam, but then lets him down and re-applies the front facelock, which gets an audible groan from the crowd. Hoff then re-positions himself and lifts Scotty for a suplex. But, he lets Static down once again and locks in a cravate. Hoff wrenches back to apply more pressure, but he leaves too much room during the wrenching and Scotty escapes. COACH Run, Scotty, run! Static comes off of the ropes, and ducks a back elbow. He grabs onto the arm and goes for an Irish whip. But, Hoff stays stationary. Static then jumps up and puts himself into wheelbarrow position. He pushes up off of the mat and brings Hoff down with a face jam onto his knee. Hoff stumbles back and walks into a dropsault. Hoff backs up and slowly bounces off of the ropes. Static then tries for an armdrag, but Hoff won't move. So, Static keeps ahold of the arm and dropkicks Hoff in the shin to send him falling onto his face! COLE Now that's thinking on your feet! Static then comes off of the ropes and nails a snap legdrop across the back of Hoff's head. Scotty pulls Hoff up and punches him in the mid-section. Static then goes for an Irish whip, but Hoff reverses it. Static comes off of the ropes, and slides between Hoff's legs. Hoff turns around and walks into a front dropkick to the chest that sends Hoff down. Hoff gets back up, and Scotty goes for another front dropkick. But, Hoff catches the legs and Static falls to the mat. Hoff hooks Scotty's legs and goes for a catapult. But, Static lands feet-first on the middle rope and lands a twisting legdrop onto Hoff! COACH What cat-like balance by Scotty Static! CABOOSE Scotty Static is pussy-like, that's right... Static then slides outside of the ring and grabs a chair from underneath the ring. He brings it inside of the ring as Hoff stumbles to his feet. Static tries to swing the chair at Hoff, but Hoff kicks him in the mid-section. Hoff then hooks Static for a face-jam with the chair over his face, and drops him hard! Hoff pulls Static up and suplexes him. Hoff then grabs the chair and sets it up. Hoff pulls Static up and sits him down in it. Hoff then comes off of the ropes, charges at Static, and kicks him in the face so hard that he goes flying outside of the ring! COLE OUCH! Hoff quickly goes outside of the ring and grabs a chair. He teases swinging it at Static before tossing it back into the ring. Static walks away from Hoff as he stumbles to his feet. Hoff chases after Static, but gets an elbow to his stomach for his troubles. Static then hooks Hoff's head, hops up with both feet horizontally onto a wall, and pushes off to hit a Shirauni (Sliced Bread #2), bringing Hoff's neck onto his knee! Static pulls Hoff up and throws him back into the ring. Static then slides back in himself. Scotty grabs one of the boards, lifts it to mid-ring, and lies it on its back with the barbed wire sticking up. Scotty goes to get Hoff, but Hoff punches him in the stomach. CABOOSE We might be getting violence here soon! Hoff then gets fully onto his feet and lifts Scotty for a suplex. He then sees that he'd fall on the barbed wire board if he did so, and stops it right then. Hoff then switches grips on Scotty and goes for a backbreaker. But, as he lifts Static up to drop him on his knee, Static uses the momentum of the lift to fall back into a crucifix... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men come back up, and Static tries to drop toe hold Hoff into the barbed wire. Hoff won't budge, so Static punches him in the lower nutsack region! Hoff then loses balance and falls chest-first into the barbed wire! CABOOSE Low blows are illegal! COLE This is a deathmatch, you dumbass! Static then jumps on Hoff's back with both feet, and drops with a cannonball senton! Static turns Hoff over, as the barbed wire rips shreds out of Hoff's shirt, and goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Static pulls Hoff up and goes for a DDT onto the board, but Hoff blocks, lifts Static up, and tosses him chest-first onto the barbed wire! Hoff pulls rips Static's wifebeater tanktop off of him to make it easier to pull him out of the barbed wire, as we see trickles of blood come down from Scotty's chest. Hoff then pulls Scotty up and whips him off to the ropes. Hoff goes for a tilt-a-whirl powerslam, but Scotty slips out of the back end. COACH He's a sneaky one... Hoff turns around and walks into a forearm to the face. Static then goes for a standing hurricanrana. However, Hoff catches him and drops him back-first onto the barbed wire board with a powerbomb! Hoff then grabs another barbed wire board out of a corner, and slams the front side down on Static's chest! Hoff picks up the chair he threw into the ring, and repeatedly hits the top board with the chair! CABOOSE I think Hoff's awaken! Hoff then lifts the top board off of Static, with the barbed wire ripping a giant hole in the left leg of Static's pants. Hoff then pulls Static to his feet, as the camera closes in on small cuts that have been opened in Scotty's back. Hoff points at one of the barbed wire boards left set up in a corner. He then lifts Static up over his shoulder, attempting an over-the-shoulder powerbomb. Hoff charges at the board, but Static slips out of the back end. Hoff turns around and throws a high kick at Scotty that sends him into the barbed wire board behind him. The board awkwardly breaks at the bottom. COACH That couldn't have felt good! Hoff then grabs Static by the hair, grabs the barbed wire with his free hand, and grinds the wire into Static's face, cutting deeper and deeper into his flesh. Static is bleeding quite well from the face as Hoff stops cutting. Hoff then pulls Scotty up, and slams him onto the mat. Hoff places a chair onto Scotty's face, and stomps the chair four times. Hoff then pulls the chair off of Scotty and pulls him up. Hoff then drags Scotty by the hair to the board set up on the opposite side of the ring in a corner and stands him up on it. Scotty tries moving, but the barbed wire catches on his pants. Hoff goes back to the other side, charges forward...and nails a rolling cannonball avalanche into Scotty, sending both men through the board! COLE Jesus H. Christ! Both men lie in pain in the corner, with barbed wire going into Scotty's back, and Hoff's arm being cut open by the board breaking and poking into his skin. Hoff slowly gets up. When he is physically able to get to his feet, he goes around the ring to get ahold of the two chairs that have been used so far. He then sets them up on opposite ends of the barbed wire board in mid-ring. Hoff then pulls Scotty out of the abyss of broken wood and barbed wire in the corner, lifts him, and slams him onto the board. CABOOSE The end is near! Hoff then grabs the other barbed wire board from the board sandwich earlier, and sits it on top of the chairs and over Static, like a table. The more dangerous end of the board is facing Static's prone body. Hoff then points upward. The crowd cheers, and he tells them to shut up. Hoff then goes to the top rope. He balances himself slowly before standing up all the way and launching off! Hoff comes down and goes through the top board with a huge double stomp, crushing Scotty Static in the process! CROWD "HO-LY FUCK! HO-LY FUCK!" COLE I think Hoff just closed the book! Hoff shakes himself off before jumping onto the pile of wood, barbed wire, and unconcious human carcass for the cover... 1... 2... 3! BUFFER Your winner of the first opening round match in the Emperor of Death Tournament....HOFF! CABOOSE I told you he wasn't afraid to get violent! COLE I guess that the morale of the story here is that you don't awaken Hoff's inner-beast! COACH I still cannot believe how brutal that finishing double-stomp that crushed Scotty Static was! I hope he's alright. (Static gets a nice ovation as he is helped from the ringside area.) COLE That's well-deserved. He tried his hardest... CABOOSE Trying your hardest only counts if you win! Otherwise, you just wasted your time. QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Hoff Edited July 30, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #4 BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen the following first round match in the Emperor of Death Tournament is scheduled for one fall, where the Fans Bring the Weapons! A roar goes up in the crowd as they hold up an assortment of crap that they want the two men to use to mame and destroy each other with during the course of the night… CUE: “No Chance in Hell” by Bradley Boyds The familiar music of the Lightning Crew hits as Vitamin X enters the arena to boos from the packed crowd. He starts taunting the crowd and steps into the ring, awaiting his opponent. BUFFER On the way to the ring, representing the Lightning Crew, from Miami Florida weighing in tonight at two hundred forty-eight pounds… VITAMIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN EEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!! “No Chance in Hell” dies down as Vitamin X stretches on the ropes and continues taunting the crowd. He surveys the arena and looks around at the fans, many of whom are carrying different foreign objects. CUE: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope COLE Here he is! The man that wants Hoff in a hospital bed! CABOOSE Ah shut up Cole, Gunner is no certainty to face Hoff; he’d have to get to the finals of the Emperor of Death Tournament to do so! COACH Yes this past week Gunner was informed that the only way he could get his hands on Hoff tonight was if he made it to the finals of this Tournament and Hoff did as well. Gunner is out for revenge tonight and god help anyone who gets in his way. Rhino’s old ECW theme hits as the crowd go up as one and cheer the big man’s entrance. Then, from out of the curtain, he appears, decked out in his Orange Jumpsuit, with ‘GS’ on the back, and ‘KILL HOFF’ on the front, all written in black, blood-like writing. He salutes the crowd, before entering the ring and staring down Vitamin X, who leaves in a hurry, fearing this behemoth of a man. BUFFER And his opponent, from Detroit Michigan, standing Seven Feet Tall and weighing Three Hundred Fifty-Five Pounds… ‘The Enforcer’, GUUNNERRRRRRRRRRRRR SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Gunner motions for Vitamin X to come into the ring, but X shakes his head, and so Gunner turns to the crowd and shouts ‘Chickenshit!’ to their delight. He starts to take off his jumpsuit, but Vitamin X slides into the ring and runs at the big man, connecting with a clothesline to the back of the head and sending him staggering forwards! COLE What a cheap shot! Vitamin X delivers a clubbing blow to the back of the head again to Gunner, before taunting the crowd with a smile on his face, pointing at his head, telling the crowd how smart he is. Gunner turns around with a scowl on his face, seemingly unaffected by the earlier blows. Vitamin X turns to face Gunner, who floors him with a vicious clothesline of his own! X is back up quickly, but Gunner grabs him by the throat with both hands, and propels him into the corner! Gunner opens up on Vitamin X with right hand after right hand, rocking the Lightning Crew members’ world! COLE Vitamin X doesn’t know where he is! Gunner is beating the hell out of him! Gunner grabs X by the chin with one hand and screams “YOU WANT TO STOP ME FROM GETTING TO HOFF YOU SON OF A BITCH!’, before connecting with another hard right hand. Gunner holds his arm up and asks the crowd for a weapon, and someone throws him a Pool Cue! Gunner twirls the cue in his hands as he waits for X to get to his feet. Vitamin X gets to his feet, and runs at Gunner, who buries the Cue in the midsection of Vitamin X, before bringing it down over Vitamin X’s back, breaking it in half! The crowd responds with an ‘Owahhhhh’ as Gunner smiles, and holds the broken cue in the air! COACH Gunner sees Hoff in Vitamin X. He sees Hoff in every single guy that gets in his way. God help anyone who gets in this monster’s way. Gunner runs to the ropes and delivers a leg drop to the throat of Vitamin X! Cover by Gunner… ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! X kicks out as the ref counts two. Gunner grabs Vitamin X by the hair as he lifts him to his feet. Gunner picks X up with ease and throws him to the mat with a hard scoop slam. Gunner quickly runs to the ropes and hits a big elbow drop to the chest of Vitamin X. Gunner shouts to the crowd ‘THROW ME SOME MOTHER FUCKIN WEAPONS’, and they oblige, throwing a variety of items into the ring, including a steel chair, a 2x4, a keyboard, a garbage can and the trusty fork. Gunner grabs the 2x4 and lifts Vitamin X to his knees… but Vitamin X hits Gunner downstairs with a hard low blow! COLE That right there will stop any man, no matter how big or how small! X grabs the 2x4 from Gunner and brings it down over the big man’s back! Vitamin X comes off the ropes and charges at Gunner, smashing the 2x4 right into his face, sending him down to the mat! Vitamin X mounts Gunner and starts hitting him with right hand after right hand, beating the hell out of him! COLE Vitamin X is going to town on Gunner Sharps! CABOOSE Gunner got too cocky, Vitamin X is going to take advantage now! X gets off Gunner and grabs the steel chair, smacking it on the ground and yelling for Gunner to get up. Gunner slowly gets to his feet, X charges at him with the chair, Gunner ducks under, and ROCKS him with a stiff uppercut, that sends him back and to one knee. Gunner runs at X this time, but X drives the steel chair into Gunners gut, and then smashes it into the bag man’s face! COACH Gunners face was splattered all over that steel chair! Vitamin X goes for the cover on Gunner Sharps, hooking the outside leg… ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOONO! Gunner Sharps POWERS out! COACH After a brutal chair shot by Vitamin X, Gunner still manages to easily kick out! Gunner is focused on winning the Emperor of Death tournament! Vitamin X gets up quickly, and Gunner does the same. X runs toward the seven footer, but Gunner floors him with a big boot to the face! Gunner grabs the fork off the mat and holds it up in the air, garnering a pop from the packed crowd! Gunner grabs the hair of Vitamin X and brings the fork down hard against his forehead! COLE My God! Gunner brings the fork down again to the forehead of Vitamin X, before digging the utensil into the Lightning Crew member’s skull! CABOOSE This is sick! Gunner throws the fork away as he leads Vitamin X around in a circle, so that the whole crowd can see the crimson starting to seep out of his forehead. Gunner gets Vitamin X to his feet, and sends him to the ropes for an Irish whip. X comes off the ropes, and Gunner picks him up for a sidewalk slam, and makes a cover! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Vitamin X kicks out! Gunner calls for some more weapons, so the fans throw in a rubber chicken, and a STOP sign! CABOOSE Now what the hell could you do with a rubber chicken? Vitamin X slowly gets up as Gunner grabs the rubber chicken, X charges and Gunner floors him with a hard shot! COLE What the hell? Gunner opens the rubber chickens mouth and marbles start to fall out! COACH It was loaded! Gunner calls for a Chokeslam, but suddenly, a fan enters the ring! COLE Wait a minute! The fan, a baseball cap over his face so he can’t identified, grabs the garbage can and charges at Gunner, connecting with a blow to the head that sends the big man down! The fan takes off his baseball cap to reveal… Steven Joseph! COACH Give me a break! CABOOSE The leader of the Lightning Crew is here! Yes! Joseph gloats over his sneak attack on Gunner Sharps, and begins taunting him, and telling Vitamin X to get up. Joseph and Vitamin X go to the outside and grab something from under the ring… a glass panel! COLE What are they going to do with that? COACH Joseph is channeling the spirit of the Dream Machines here! The two Lightning Crew members grab Gunner and position the dented garbage can in the center of the ring before double Irish Whipping him to the other side. Gunner comes off the ropes and the two men hit a double drop toe hold on the can! Vitamin X goes for a cover on Gunner Sharps… ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOONO! Gunner kicks out! CABOOSE The Lightning Crew is in charge now! Steven Joseph points to Gunner and then the glass panel as the two men grab Gunner and back him into the opposite corner! COACH Gunner might be going for a ride! COLE If they hit this, Gunner will be done for! Joseph and X try the double Irish whip again, but Gunner stands his ground! They try the whip a second time, but Gunner won’t budge! Gunner pulls both men towards him, and takes them down with a double clothesline! Gunner runs to the other side of the ring and tells Joseph and X to get up! COLE Gunner is challenging two men! CABOOSE He’s insane! Both men make their way to their feet…X runs at Gunner first, but Gunner sidesteps him, sending him to the outside! Steven Joseph charges this time, Gunner ducks and grabs the keyboard, Joseph turns around, and Gunner SMACHES him in the head with the keyboard! COLE There are keys all over the ring! Joseph staggers around the ring for a second, and Gunner catches him by the throat with his left hand! Gunner lifts Steven up with a Gorilla Press, holds him up there for a few seconds and then flattens him with a hard Spinebuster! COACH Beautiful combination move, slamming Steven Joseph down to the mat! Joseph is out! COLE But look out Gunner! Look out Gunner indeed, as Vitamin X cracks him in the back with a kendo stick that he got from a fan at ringside! X signals fro the X spot as he positions the STOP sign and Gunner in the middle of the ring, boots Gunner in the stomach, runs to the ropes, and springboards off the second rope… COLE Might be the X Spot on the STOP sign… But Gunner catches Vitamin X in mid air by the throat! Gunner lifts X high into the air, and slams him down with a CHOKESLAM~! Onto the stop sign!!! Vitamin X is down, and Gunner is PSYCHO, screaming ‘MOTHER FUCKING IMPACT SPEAR TO HELL!!’ COLE I think he pissed the big guy off, and you don’t want to piss this big guy off. Vitamin X crawls to the corner with the glass panel set up. Gunner crouches in the opposite corner like a caged animal, just waiting for his prey to get up and turn around. CABOOSE Please X, just don’t turn around! COACH I think we are about to see what happens to people who get in Gunner’s way, and it ain’t going to be pretty guys! Vitamin X gets to his feet and looks into the glass panel. A look of fear is present upon his face as he turns around… Gunner charges… X turns… Gunner charges… X turns… Gunner charges… X turns… Getting sick of this yet… It’s going to end soon… …MOTHER BAH GAWD FUCKING IMPACT SPEEEEEEEEEEEEAAARR~!~! ON VITAMIN X THROUGH THE GLASS PANEL! COLE Glass shards are everywhere! Gunner goes for the cover and hooks the leg… ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!!! *DING DING DING* CUE: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope Gunner gets straight up and salutes the crowd as the referee raises his hand in victory! COLE Gunner was protected from the glass, he never got a chance to take his jumpsuit off, and I bet he’s glad! COACH Gunner just put on one hell of a display, destroying Vitamin X AND Steven Joseph, and moving on to the Quarter Finals of the Emperor of Death Tournament, where he will face the winner of Drek Stone vs. Johnny Jackson in a 100,000 Thumbtacks match! Gunner continues to play to the crowd as his music rings out and Michael Buffer announces the result. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner… GUUUUUUNNERRRRRRRRR SHAAAAAAAAARPPPPPPPSSSSSSS!!! COLE There’s a long way to go in this tournament guys, and who knows what could happen! QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Hoff Gunner Sharps Edited August 1, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #5 This is a prison, for God's sakes. There is no entrance music, there is no fanfare, there is just WAR. Calvin Szechstein and Leon Rodez enter the ring, which is decked out in Christmas lights and looking awful festive, and Rodez goes for an early lockup on Szechstein, but the Thrillogy's chief financial backer wants absolutely no part of that, and he quickly sidesteps Rodez, not wanting the Silky Smooth one anywhere near him in this environment. COLE Szechstein trying to avoid any sort of pain, and it's understandable why! Rodez is hungry, though, and he bounces on the balls of his feet, obviously eager to go after Szechstein. Calvin continues to bob-and-weave, avoiding Rodez as he makes another charge, looking to take Calvin over with a Cactus-style clothesline -- but Szechstein is too wise for that, and he HITS THE DECK, scissoring Rodez's legs and driving him face-first... *SMASH!* ...into the Christmas lights with a drop toe hold! CABOOSE Calvin is using the technical mastery that ONLY he has to create a world of pain for Leon Rodez! Rodez grabs his face in pain, the tiny shards of glass creating a unique patchwork of cuts that drip blood down his face as Calvin grabs him by the hair, lifting him to his feet. Szechstein grabs Rodez by the arm, whipping him hard into the ropes, where he again crashes into the tiny glass bulbs! *SMASH!* COACH Again into the Christmas lights! Szechstein grabs Rodez once more by the hair, lifting him to his feet. Calvin grabs Rodez by the arm, looking to whip Leon into the ropes -- but Rodez reverses, and this time Calvin is headed straight for the glass! ... but the Thrillogizer TAKES TO THE AIR, leaping over the ropes and landing gracefully on the outside, glass-free! Calvin takes a bow, the inmates violently shaking the bars and booing him mercilessly as he poses on the outside... ...only to get taken out by a diving lariat from Rodez! Both men hit the ground hard, but Rodez is on his feet first, and he grabs Calvin, lifting him to his feet. COLE I guess you could call that the Christmas gift that stings for weeks! CABOOSE ... shut up, Mitchell. Rodez grabs Szechstein by the hair, rolling him back into the ring and following himself. Calvin gets to his feet, a bit shaky, and Rodez looks to take advantage of that, charging Szechstein and looking to spear him right back into the Christmas lights... ... ... but Calvin LEAPFROGS IT, shoving Rodez through the top and middle rope! Rodez's momentum carries him over, and the ropes catch him, causing the Silky Smooth one to be caught in a hangman! CABOOSE HO-HO-HOLY SHIT! The bloodthirsty inmates roar at Rodez's pain as Calvin merely watches Leon struggles, the lights slicing open Rodez's neck like there's no tomorrow! Rodez struggles against them for a while, but eventually he just can't take the pain, and he passes out! Calvin, breathing heavy, raises an arm in victory as Rodez is helped out of the ropes by a ring attendant! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via knockout... CAAAAAAAAAALVIN SZECHSTEIN! COLE Knock out my ass! Calvin didn't even take one bump into the glass! CABOOSE Well, Rodez is knocked out, and Calvin did it -- I'm calling it right now, folks, Calvin Szechstein will win this whole tournament by KO! COACH Think that all you want, we still have more matches coming NEXT! QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Hoff Gunner Sharps Calvin Szechstein Edited August 1, 2004 by Chuck Woolery Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 EOD QUALIFIER #6 COLE It's now time for our Four-Corners Lighttubes match of the evening, as the ring crew attendants set up the sets of six lighttubes taped together in the corners of the ring. COACH We've seen Sly Sommers spike the best of the best on their heads with his devastating piledriver, plus his new move, the straitjacket piledriver that he calls the Slyledriver, and he's made the toughest of tough guys say "Uncle!" to his Cravateface submission hold, but can he pass through the huge Cuban Wall? Let's find out NOW! ("LIGHTING CREW!" is heard over the intercom in the prison, and "No Chance In Hell" starts up. The Cuban Wall makes his way to the ring to a chorus of boos.) BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a Four-Corner Lighttube First Round match in the Emperor of Death Tournament! Introducing first, weighing in tonight at 285 pounds...from Havana, Cuba, he is the Lightning Crew's CUBAN WALLLLLLLLLLL! CABOOSE What's with the long "l", man? ("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes to the ring. He's wearing long jean shorts and a white "HeldDOWN~!" t-shirt. He gets a nice ovation coming out, but the pop gets even bigger when he goes back to behind the entrance, and comes out back, waving an American flag.) BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 198 pounds; he is a former OAOAST X-Division Champion...from Bayside, California, SLY SOOOOOOOOOMMMERS! COLE It looks as if Sly's trying to use the Jim Duggan strategy of using a magical United States flag to melt the evil foreigner... CABOOSE He'll need any edge he can get, looking at his history against men who are much larger than he is. In the past, we've seen the Thrillogy's Hoff absolutely destroy him, though Hoff is a bit bigger, and arguably stronger and more athletic than the Cuban Wall. *DING* *DING* Sly walks around the ring as the match starts, getting a "U-S-A!" chant. Wall gets noticably upset with the patriotism being displayed by Sly. Both men then lock up center-ring, and Cuban Wall easily outpowers Sly, shoving him down to the mat. Sly looks up, and Wall literally growls at him. Sly then shrugs it off and gets to his feet. They walk around again before Wall goes in for a lockup. But, Sly fakes him out, goes under, and locks in a reverse waistlock. Wall grabs Sly's wrists and pushes downward, breaking the waistlock. He then steps to the side and flips Sly onto his back by the wrist. COACH The Cuban Wall is truly that: a wall! Sly shakes that off, as Wall laughs at him. Sly gets up and challenges the Cuban Wall to a test of strength. Wall giggles for a second before locking one hand with Sly's. He goes to lock the other, but Sly twists around and locks his left arm in a reverse hammerlock. Sly then pivot steps and twists himself to lock in a cravate on the Cuban Wall. Wall then lifts Sly in the air and tosses him off. Sly holds his back for a second before getting up and sliding through Wall's legs. Wall turns around, Sly hops into wheelbarrow position, and uses the momentum to bring the Cuban Wall over with a headlock takeover! CABOOSE That sneaky little bastard... Both pop back up, and Sly brings him down with a drop toe hold. Sly quickly hops over and rolls him up with an Oklahoma roll... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly then quickly locks in a front facelock on a kneeling Cuban Wall. But, Wall gets all of the way to his feet and tosses Sly away with a release Northern Lights suplex. Wall then comes to his feet, as Sly crawls to all fours, and nails a stiff charging knee to the side of Sly's head. Cuban Wall then pulls Sly up and nails a front-face suplex. Wall then runs off of the ropes and hits a falling headbutt. Wall then pulls Sly up, and slams him back down to the mat. He then kneels down and scrapes his knee across Sly's eyes. COLE That's just an insult right there! Wall then pulls Sly up, and signals that he's going to toss him through one of the sets of lighttubes in a corner to a loud roar. He tosses Sly, but Sly sees the lighttubes before being tossed, and rolls out of the way and onto the floor as he lands. Sly runs back into the ring, and charges at the Cuban Wall. But, he walks into an inverted atomic drop, followed immediately by a stiff lariat, sending Sly down hard. The Cuban Wall then pulls Sly up, and lifts him onto his shoulders. Wall then spins around with Sly, and performs a standing fireman's carry toss. CABOOSE Down goes the loser. Wall pulls Sly up, and puts him in pumphandle position. Cuban Wall lifts Sly and drops him with a pumphandle backbreaker. Wall keeps ahold of the pumphandle and lifts Sly again. He lifts him into a snap powerslam. Wall goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Cuban Wall then goes to a corner, and rips the tape bindings off of the lighttube set in that corner, and pulls two lighttubes from the set. Wall sets one down on the mat, and pulls Sly up while holding the other one. He then puts the lighttube across Sly's back, lifts Sly, and slams him onto the mat, with the lighttube breaking for extra impact! Wall then grabs the other lighttube, sets it on Sly's chest, and connects with a double knee drop, breaking the lighttube on Sly! He goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Cuban Wall takes a moment to argue with a fan before he goes to pull Sly to his feet. Wall goes for a suplex, but the stalling gave Sly time to rest up, as he's able to flip out of the suplex. Wall turns around and walks into a back cresent kick to the stomach. Sly then grabs Wall by the hair, and brings him down with a facebuster into some of the glass that Wall had previously broken! Wall turns around, and blood starts to trickle from just above his eyebrow! COLE As expected, there's blood... CABOOSE That's as obvious as your crush on Coachman. Sly then waits as Wall stumbles to his feet. Sly goes for a flying headscissors when the Cuban Wall gets fully up, but the Cuban Wall tosses him off. Sly lands on his feet, and a second later gets knocked down with a violent running kick to the side of his head by Wall. Wall then pulls Sly up, and attempts to put him through a set of lighttubes set up in the nearest corner with an STO. COACH This landing won't be pretty... But, Sly holds onto the ropes so Wall can't send him into the lighttubes. He then starts to connect with back elbows to the side of Wall's head. Sly escapes the move. Sly then comes off of the ropes, but Wall catches him in the middle of the ring with a big flapjack. Cuban Wall then pulls Sly up, lifts him for a side suplex, and drops him with a backbreaker. Wall keeps ahold of Sly, puts him on his feet, and brings him down with a Russian legsweep. COLE Looks like the Cuban Wall is softening Sly's back for his finisher here. Cuban Wall pulls Sly up, and drops him with a gutwrench gutbuster. He then transitions that into an STO. Wall goes for the cover again... 1... 2... Kickout. Cuban Wall then grabs the other four lighttubes from the bundle, and lays them in the center of the ring. He then grabs Sly, puts him in position, lifts, and drops him with a powerbomb onto the lighttubes! Wall then picks up a piece of broken glass and starts carving into Sly's forehead. He ends up cutting a huge gash in the middle of Sly's forehead, with blood flowing into Sly's hair and down his face. Cuban Wall then pulls Sly up and drops him with Snake Eyes down onto the top turnbuckle in the only empty corner in the ring. CABOOSE That's it! Open the cut wider! Cuban Wall then puts Sly on his shoulders, and goes for a Death Valley Driver into the corner. But, Sly slips out at the last second. Wall runs at Sly, and Sly sends him to the outside with a flying headscissors. Sly then pulls a lighttube out of a near-by bundle, takes off to the ropes on the other side, comes off them, and nails an incredible tope suicida onto Cuban Wall, smashing him in the face with the lighttube for extra damage! COLE WOW! CROWD "H-D! H-D! H-D!" The lighttube breaks so that a large chunk of it remains. So, Sly places it on Wall's face and breaks it with a stomp! Sly then pulls Wall up to his feet, and chops him twice. Sly then puts Cuban Wall up against the ringpost. Sly walks back a bit, then charges at Wall. But, Cuban Wall moves and Sly goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Wall then puts Sly up on his shoulders in an electric chair. He then tosses him backwards, and back-first into the ringpost. Cuban Wall then grabs two chairs from underneath the ring and sets them up seat-to-seat. He then lifts Sly over one shoulder, and drops him hard with a powerslam! CABOOSE That'll rearrange your spine! Cuban Wall then tosses Sly back into the ring. Wall slides in and goes for the cover.... 1... 2... Kickout. Cuban Wall pulls Sly up, lifts him, and drops him with a backbreaker. Wall keeps ahold of Sly, lifts him, and drops him with a second backbreaker. Cuban Wall then re-positions Sly, lifts him up into a Crucifix Bomb position, and drops him into an inverted backbreaker from that position! Wall then pulls Sly from off of the mat, and tosses him with an Exploder suplex! COACH Folks, you must remember that, even without the lighttubes involved in some of these moves, the ring mat has broken glass from previous moves all over it, and is still quite jagged and dangerous. Cuban Wall then lets loose with repeated stomps to Sly's lower back region. Wall follows up by pulling Sly up and draping him over his back with a Gory Guerrero Special, cranking more in the chest region than the neck to apply the most torque possible on the back. Sly screams in pain while in the hold, but refuses to give it up. Sly tries fighting out, but Wall is too strong. Eventually, Wall gets tired of holding Sly in the hold, so he gives one more big crank, and lets go, dropping Sly on his face. COLE A little careless, wouldn't you say? Wall pulls Sly up in a reverse waistlock, and drops him on the back of his head with a brutal release German suplex! Wall goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall immediately pulls Sly up by the hair, and connects with a stiff forearm. Cuban Wall keeps ahold of Sly's hair, so Sly doesn't go down. Wall then lifts Sly onto his shoulders, and flips him over for a gutbuster-style backbreaker. Wall pulls Sly to his feet by the hair, and nails an STO onto his knee. Cuban Wall then hooks Sly's arm in between his legs and hits a wrist-clutch Doctor Bomb. Cuban Wall goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall then turns Sly over, and grinds his face into the glass. Wall pulls Sly's face up for a second, as the camera gets a gruesome close-up of pieces of glass sticking out of Sly's bloody face. Wall then pulls Sly up, and hooks him in a half-nelson. He then flips Sly over, and drops him on his knee for another inverted backbreaker. Wall then pulls Sly up, and puts him over one shoulder. He then charges towards a set of lighttubes in one of the unscathed corners, but Sly slips out of the back end and scores with a schoolboy... 1... 2... Kickout! Sly then comes off of the ropes, and clotheslines Cuban Wall. He doesn't go down. Sly comes off of the ropes again, and this time sends Wall down with a flying sitdown lariat. Sly gets to his feet, and Wall does as well seconds later. Sommers then kicks Wall in the mid-section, hooks the arms, and connects with a butterfly swinging neckbreaker. Sly rolls through on the mat back to his feet, keeping ahold of the double underhook, and drops Wall on his face with a double-underhook DDT! CABOOSE This comeback will end in about ten seconds here, just watch! Sly then pulls Wall to his knees with a front facelock, but then fakes him out, and rolls him through with an inverted schoolboy... 1... 2... Kickout! Both come up, and Sly ducks a clothesline. Both turn around, and Wall hooks Sly. Wall goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but this time, Sly knows what is coming and reverses into a big DDT in mid-move! Sly pulls Cuban Wall up, and goes for the Double Shot (face jam to knee/floating neckbreaker in one motion), but Wall twists Sly around during the neckbreaker and drops him with a Uranage Backbreaker! Cuban Wall then sits Sly up, and kicks Sly repeatedly in the spine, as hard as he can! COACH He's trying to kick right through him! Cuban Wall pulls Sly up, and drops him with a side backbreaker. Wall then picks him up for a slam, and drops him with a Catatonic (slam swung into Rock Bottom/uranage). Wall goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall pulls Sly up, performs an armwringer, and pulls Sly in for a big STO! Wall goes for another cover out of desperation... 1... 2... Kickout! Cuban Wall then places Sly on his shoulders, and scores with a big Assault Driver (electric chair flipped into a split-legged slam). But, he doesn't go for the cover and chooses to instead go for another one. He get Sly up on his shoulders, but Sommers is somehow able to repeatedly punch Wall in the head, and then rolls through for a victory roll... 1... 2... Kickout! Both pop up immediately, and Wall sends Sly down with a spear from behind. Cuban Wall then grabs a lighttube from the second bundle that had been undone earlier, and sets it down on the mat. He pulls Sly up, butterflies his arms, and drops him with a lifting pedigree faceslam, destroying the lighttube in the process! Wall goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! CABOOSE What in the hell...? Wall then tosses Sly through the ropes and to the outside. Cuban Wall goes to the outside himself, and hooks Sly in a full nelson. He then lifts Sly and slams him down on the edge of the apron. Wall then reaches inside of the ring, and grabs the biggest piece of lighttube possible. He then sticks it in the back of Sly's waistband, and puts Sly's shirt over it. Wall then forearms Sly in the back and breaks it over Sly's bare skin! COLE That was creative, I have to admit. Cuban Wall then hooks Sly in a pumphandle, and tosses him overhead for a pumphandle suplex onto the concrete. Wall then pulls Sly up with both hands by the throat, and tosses him back-first into the ringpost. He then pulls Sly up by the waistband and tosses him into the ring. Wall slides in, hooks Sly's neck and leg, and tosses him with a release fisherman's suplex! Wall pulls Sly up by the wrist, and pulls him in for an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! CABOOSE The Cuban Wall's just tossing "Cry" Sommers around the ring like a baby! Cuban Wall then lifts Sly on his shoulders in Burning Hammer position, and drops down to his ass for an Abyss-style backbreaker. Wall then goes for another cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The Cuban Wall can't believe it! He points at one of the lighttube bundles that is still set up in a corner. Wall then gets up, and pulls Sly up with him. He positions Sly, lifts him, and goes for a running powerbomb into the lighttubes! But, Sly slips out at the last second, Wall turns around, and Sly connects with a step-up enziguri! But, The Cuban Wall doesn't go down. Sly then walks to the center of the ring, charges at the Cuban Wall, and brings him down with a flying headscissors into a DDT! COACH Whattamanuever! CABOOSE That's actually a flying headscissors into a DDT... COACH Shut up! Wall is in a sitting position in center-ring, and Sly connects with a Hennig Neck Snap! Sly then grabs the legs and rolls through for a jackknife pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Sly pulls Wall up, ties Wall's arms around him, and hits a straitjacket Russian legsweep. Sly then tries to roll that back into the Cravateface, but Wall powers out of it. Both men come to their feet, and Wall lifts Sly onto his shoulders. Wall then spins Sly around for a kneeling front fireman's slam. Cuban Wall stalls for a second before going for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Wall pulls Sly up slowly, and then goes for a suplex. But, Sly falls from behind, lands on his feet while hooking Wall's head, and nails the One Hit Wonder! Both men are out on the mat, but the referee won't count due to the no-disqualification stipulations for all Emperor of Death matches. Both men slowly crawl to their feet, with Sly needing to pull up on the ropes for assistance. COLE Whoever can get up first has an open gateway for victory! Both men get up at around the same time, and Sly lets loose with a series of rapid-fire stiff forearms to the face. Sly then takes a few steps back, charges forward, and nails a tornado Flatliner! Sly then traps Wall's arm, but can't get the head hooked for the Cravateface. So, Sly struggles but pulls Wall onto his feet by the arm, and nails a Russian legsweep. Sly then goes to the second rope on one of the corners without lighttubes. The Cuban Wall stumbles to his feet and charges at Sly. But, he runs right into Sly's boot. Sly turns Wall around and goes for the Diamond Dust. But, Wall grabs him and flips him onto his ass! CABOOSE That's a broken tailbone! Wall then goes for a spinal tap kick, but Sly rolls backwards, hooks Wall's neck by his ankles, pushes off of the mat, and scores with a multi-rotation flying headscissors. Wall comes back up to his feet, but is bent over. Sly then jumps onto Wall's huge back, and drops down with a Famouser! Sly pulls Wall up to his feet and locks in a headlock. He then drags Wall along as he charges at a corner. He runs up the ropes, and changes the bulldog into a tornado DDT! Sly goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Sly pulls Wall up with a headlock, and teases going for something. But, Cuban Wall is able to shrug off his fatigue, lift Sly, and drop him with a Blue Thunder Bomb! 1... 2... Kickout! Wall pulls Sly up with a reverse waistlock, and goes for what would be a sick German suplex through a set of lighttubes in the corner. But, Sly reverses with a wheelbarrow victory roll... 1... 2... Kickout! Sly then tries for a no-hand rolling prawn hold when Wall gets up, but Wall stays up with the ankles tucked underneath his armpits. Wall turns it over in an attempt for a reverse Boston Crab, but Sly quickly crawls away. Wall then charges at Sly, but Sly catches Wall with a drop toe hold, and Wall goes face-first through a set of lighttubes set up a corner! COLE Holy crap! COACH He's DEAD! Sly pulls him out of the corner and goes for the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE How in the hell did he do that? CABOOSE He's that damn good. Sly slowly gets to his feet, and then signals for the Slyledriver! Sly puts Wall in position, but his back acts up and he cannot lift Wall. Sly instead goes for, and hits, a DDT. Sly then yells at two ring attendants. He tells one to set up a table outside of the ring, and the other to help him with the last lighttube bundle. Sly and the attendant lift the lighttube bundle over their heads, as the table gets set up. They then hand it to the guy who set up the table, and he tapes the tubes onto the table. COLE This could be dangerous... CABOOSE Gee, ya think? Wall stumbles to his feet and walks to Sly, who is on the apron. He blocks a punch from Sly, and goes for a chokeslam. But, Sly pokes him in the eye mid-move. He lets Sly down, but Sly keeps ahold of the arm. Sly then drags on the arm until Cuban Wall is draped over the top rope. Sly then straitjackets Wall's arms, puts him in position, and....SLYLEDRIVER THROUGH THE LIGHTTUBE TABLE! CROWD "Holy shit! Holy shit!" Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2... 3! BUFFER Your winner of the Four-Corner Lighttubes match...Sly Sommers! COLE My lord...I think he just tore down the Cuban Wall! COACH That was incredible! Wall sits up from out of the abyss of lighttubes and wood, with a good portion of his head, neck, and shoulders cut, and his entire upper torso turning crimson. He has a blank stare on his face, as he's obviously barely concious. Stephen Joseph them comes to the ring and starts yelling at Cuban Wall. He shoves off the medics who have come to ringside to check on Wall's condition, grabs Wall by the ear, and makes him walk away with him like a small child. COLE Cuban Wall just nearly got killed, and Stephen Joseph's now embarrassing him like this? Give me a break! The floor camera then pans over to Sly, who's a bloody mess as he walks to the back. Sly stops momentarily to grabs the lens of the cameraman's camera, lean in, and say "Tomorrow...this'll be nothin', Cal. Die, Calvin, die." CABOOSE Isn't murder illegal? COACH In something called "the Emperor of Death Tournament", I doubt it. COLE Well, if Calvin ends up drawing Sly as his second round opponent...I guess that question will be answered clearly. More coming up! QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Hoff Gunner Sharps Calvin Sly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) EOD QUALIFIER #7 *BZZZZT* *The following PPV program is experiencing Technical Difficulties. Please contact your satellite or cable provider* *BZZZZT* COLE JAY DARRING WINS! COACH WHATAMOVE on Chris Stevens who showed alot of heart. CABOOSE You mean blood. COLE Jay Darring advances in his return bid for the Championship! QUALIFIED FOR DAY TWO Rick Edwards Johnny Jackson Hoff Gunner Sharps Calvin Sly Jay Darring Edited August 1, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) Up next... GPX vs. Hell's Hitmen! Cole Cut backstage! Stephen Joseph Wall, you look like shit Cuban Wall ... Stephen, what are you going to do now that you're in control. Does this mean Puerto Rican Lightning will come back? Stephen Joseph Ummm. No. Not until the situation resolves itself. You really want these guys to have a chance to hurt him? No, I didn't think so. But I've got a job for you and the rest of the Crew. Follow me. ::Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph walk down a flight of stairs, and then down a hallway lined with cell doors. We hear voices, seemingly at the end. As we walk closer, we see Lindsey Gonzalez, Vitamin X, and Mr. Boricua.:: Stephen Joseph Thanks for coming at such short notice. Good things come to those who help those in ::chuckle:: power. ::Popick takes a key out of his pocket, and turns a keyhole at the end of the hallway, a very large steel door. They all walk through:: Two weeks ago, 4 masked men ruined my return match and laid you four out, bloodied. I don't think you appreciated it. I didn't. I still don't know why they didn't attack me. However... ::Popick turns and looks into a cell:: You'll see that all four men have ... been restrained. ::4 men all in black are shuffling in a cell. They look exactly like the 4 men who jumped the Lightning Crew:: They say there's a 5th, I guess that's the business of the "5". Until I find him, or her, I want you four to "guard" our friends. Mr. Boricua Thank you, Mr. Popick. We will ensure they do not move ... much Stephen Joseph Good. Because tomorrow night, I'm revealing them, and their 5th. No one takes away my POWER. Edited August 1, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted July 30, 2004 (edited) Cole: It's our final match of this evening! One of these teams for sure will be contending for the tag team titles soon! Cue: “Hit Me Verdi One More Time” The bizarre mix gets the fans lungs pumping as they fill the air with echoing BOOOS! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contests is a special tag team challenge match and it is set for one fall. Introducing first, making their way to the ring, at a total combined weight of SEVEN HUNDRED EIGHTEEN POUNDS, the team of the Devilman, JINGUS and the Saaaaaaaaaaadist, they are HELL’S HITMEN! The Hitmen walk through the hallway, looking quite at home in such a raucous environment. JINGUS has a new red and black mask with actual devil horns sprouting from the top, and red trunks trimmed with black, while Sadist wears all white long trunks. The two monsters climb into the ring and surround the referee for some early intimidation. COLE Hey, that’s not fair! CABOOSE They’re just introducing themselves, relax. COACH This is going to be a Hell of a task for their opponents, coming off the back of being in the tournament… BUFFER Aaand their opponents… STROBES! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... BUFFER From HOTlanta Georgia, at a total combined weight of four hundred seven pounds- Scotty Static, Johnny “Jam” Jackson- the GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! Johnny and Scotty dance out, a little less vigorously then usual. They’ve both been put through brutal matches already in losing their first round Emperor of Death tournament bouts. COLE Can the GPX pull themselves together to face the Hitmen? COACH They’ve got all the fight in the world. If they can try and get a quick pin somehow, I think they can take this. GPX are halfway to the ring when YOUR tag team champions BLACK T emerge from the entranceway behind them, wielding steel chairs. The BOOS off the fans alert GPX, but Dan and T.Bod are already running towards them. GPX turn- CRACK! CRACK! -and both go down to vicious chair shots to the head. Dan and T.Bod stand over their victims and seem to be giving them some choice words, before finally dropping the chairs onto the GPX, shaking hands and walking backstage. On their way, Dan finds a camera to tell: “And that’s what happens when you cause BLACK T to lose a match…bloody idiots…” COLE OHMYGOD! Black T just laying out the GPX! CABOOSE Well, they cost the team of GPX and Black T the 8 man tag on HeldDown just a few days ago- and Black T hate to lose. COACH I don’t think the GPX can compete in this match. Indeed, Scotty and Johnny aren’t moving. Medics begin to run out, with stretchers. But suddenly they scatter, as Hell’s Hitmen jump out of the ring, grab up the bodies of the GPX and throw them into the ring! COLE Oh no! Somebody stop them! This is just wrong! JINGUS grabs the referee and demands that he starts the match. *DING DING DING* COLE Hell’s Hitmen are just running on intimidation! The OAOAST can’t allow this to continue! CABOOSE Then go stop them, Mikey! COACH Yeah! Go get ‘em! COLE I couldn’t abandon you guys. I know you rely on me. Sadist shoves Jackson into a corner, while JINGUS picks up Scotty, executes a simple body slam, and casually covers: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Scotty gets a shoulder up! JINGUS roars in surprise, and covers again. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The crowd POPS its approval, and starts up a “G-P-X! G-P-X!” chant. JINGUS brings Scotty up, but Static starts to fire up! We see that blood is starting to pour out of his forehead, but SS lays a flurry of punches to the Devilman that have him rocking back! Static runs the ropes, but JINGUS just lays him out with a big boot. Cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Scotty kicks out again! JINGUS picks Static up, and sets him for up for a power bomb- but suddenly Johnny Jackson is in the ring! He vaults onto Scotty’s back as he’s bent over for the power bomb and delivers a fierce enziguiri! JINGUS is staggered by the force of the kick- and goes down! COACH What an athletic move from JJ! Johnny puts Scotty on top of JINGUS! ONE! TWO! THRE- No, JINGUS kicks out. Scotty is first to his feet, and dropkicks the Devilman in the face as he rises to one knee. Scotty brings JINGUS over to the GPX corner and tags in Jackson, who is also bleeding heavily. Nevertheless, Johnny vaults into the ring with a fameasser to JINGUS! Jackson follows up with a spinning leg drop, and then climbs to the top rope! As JINGUS gets to his feet, JJ jumps off with a flying body press, but JINGUS just hits him with a lariat in mid air! Johnny goes 360 and lands on his head! Blood flies into the air! COLE Man, that was sick. Jackson has got to be out of this now. As if to make sure, JINGUS picks up Jackson- CLAWSLAM! JINGUS isn’t even bothering to go for a cover now, instead tagging in Sadist. The perverted monster walks around the body of Jackson, like a hungry wolf, before scraping him off the mat and setting for a power bomb. Scotty Static tries to jump into the ring to save his partner, but the referee holds him back! BOOOOOOOO! COLE C’mon ref! Give GPX a break! POWERBOMB to Jackson, and Sadist then drags Johnny to Scotty and allows him the tag. Static jumps in angrily and works over Sadist with punches and kicks to the midsection, but after a few seconds he’s running out of steam, the blows slow and ineffective. COACH The blood loss is weakening Scotty now, I don’t think he can go much longer! Sadist blocks the last of Static’s punches and hoists him onto his shoulders before delivering a running DVD! Sadist tags in JINGUS, and we got the clothesline assisted power bomb, that crushes Scotty into the mat like a guided missile. Static is just out cold, still bleeding, and the referee checks on him. Sadist pushes the ref aside to try and get to Scotty, but the referee covers Scotty with his body. After a brief inspection, the ref… …calls for the bell!! JINGUS and Sadist are held back by a crowd of security and medics who run in to tend to the GPX. The referee talks to our announcer. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has stopped the match as the GPX are unable to defend themselves. The winners of the match- HELL’S HITMEN! Crowd: BOOOOOO! COLE Well, I hate to see this happening, but I think the referee has made the right decision. The death matches and the assault by Black T have left GPX in no condition to fight here. CABOOSE Hey, they had every chance to compete, and Hell’s Hitmen were just too strong for them! No excuses! HH leave grinning, whilst the GPX are loaded onto stretchers and slowly carried out in silence. COACH A big win for the Hitmen, albeit tainted. The tag division is getting hotter every show- don’t forget the huge tag title match tomorrow night, Black T vs. the New New Midnight Xpress! CABOOSE GPX can watch from their hospital beds! COLE I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Fans, have a great night and join us tomorrow night. WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, and we will crown the winner of the EOD TOURNAMENT!!! Edited July 30, 2004 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
