Random "World's Worst Wrestling" stuff

Rob E Dangerously · August 16, 2004

911 pinned El Hijo Del Santo with the Choke Slam in 0:00:08.

Rating: *

Hawk and Animal battled to a draw in 0:03:00.

Rating: -** 1/2

Eric Bischoff decided to end the Road Warrior match, and go to something different.

3-Minute Warning defeated The Road Warriors when Jamal pinned Animal with the

Super Samoan Neckbreaker in 0:04:11.

Rating: -*

But Demolition was unhappy, so they challenged 3MW

Demolition defeated 3-Minute Warning when Ax pinned Rosey after the

Demolition Decapitation in 0:06:48.

Rating: 3/4*

Handicap-Match:

Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan defeated Bill Goldberg when Bischoff pinned

Goldberg with the Spinning Heel Kick in 0:03:28.

Rating: -**

Vince Russo pinned The Undertaker after the People's Elbow in 0:00:54.

Rating: -3/4*

David Flair pinned Brock Lesnar with the Figure-Four Leglock in 0:04:48.

Rating: -3/4*

Triangle Match:

Nick Bockwinkle defeated Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair when Bockwinkle pinned

R. Flair with the Piledriver in 0:15:22.

Rating: -* 3/4

Texas Death No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:

Sabu pinned Diamond Dallas Page with the Triple Jump Moonsault in 0:39:54.

Rating: *** 1/4

Barbed Wire Baseball Bat Match:

C.C. Sabathia pinned John Bradshaw Layfield with the Choke Slam in 0:06:25.

Rating: -1/2*

I-Quit Match:

Honky Tonk Man made The Ultimate Warrior submit to a chokehold in 0:13:32.

Rating: -* 1/2

Submission Match:

Bret Hart made Vince McMahon submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:12:33.

Rating: *

Ladder Match:

Eddie Guerrero defeated Great Muta in 0:10:17.

Rating: ** 3/4

Towel Match:

Chris Benoit (w/Dean Malenko) defeated Barry Windham (w/Kendall Windham) with

the Crippler Crossface in 0:16:58.

Rating: ** 3/4

El Samurai pinned Great Kabuki with the Samurai Bomb in 0:06:02.

Rating: ** 1/4

Terry Funk and Ahmed Johnson defeated Atsushi Onita and Goldust when A. Johnson pinned Goldust with the Pearl River Plunge in 0:11:17.

Rating: DUD

Jyushin Lyger pinned Darryl after a crucifix in 0:07:00.

Rating: -1/2*

Eugene Dinsmore pinned Kane with the German Suplex in 0:05:26.

Rating: *

Mitsuharu Misawa pinned Kamala with the Tiger Driver in 0:04:31.

Rating: 1/2*

Doink The Clown pinned Toshiaki Kawada with the Whoopie Cushion in 0:05:23.

Rating: **

Handicap-Match:

The Blonde Bombers and Rob Gilbert defeated Matt Hardy and Rocky Maivia when

Gilbert pinned Maivia with the Work of Art in 0:07:11.

Rating: *

[The Blonde Bombers are the masked tag team of Test and Van Hammer. Rob Gilbert is based on me. The Work of Art is a Frog Splash]

Lou Thesz made Nathan Jones submit to the Spinning Toe Hold in 0:07:16.

Lou Thesz suffered a neck injury. He will be out for approximately 12 cards.

Rating: **

Necro Butcher pinned Ole Anderson after a powerslam in 0:06:24.

Rating: -* 1/2

Elimination Match:

Evolution (Batista, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Randy Orton) beat Los Brazos (Brazo De Oro, Brazo De Plata and El Brazo) 3 falls to 2:

x R. Orton beat El Brazo via the RKO in 0:10:41

x B. De Oro beat R. Orton via the Armbar Submission in 0:14:46

x B. De Oro beat Batista via the Armbar Submission in 0:16:46

x Triple H beat B. De Oro via the Pedigree in 0:34:06

x Triple H beat B. De Plata via the Pedigree in 0:39:09

Survivors: Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Rating: * 1/4

El Hijo Del Santo made 911 submit to the Camel Clutch in 0:08:03.

Rating: * 3/4

And since he won, he gets a shot at Robzilla

El Hijo Del Santo pinned Rob Gilbert after a flying cross body press in 0:08:08.

Rating: ** 1/4

(El Hijo Del Santo won the Heavyweight title.)

Show #2

Four Corners Match:

Demolition defeated The NWO (Paul Terry and Rick Sun), The Blonde Bombers and

The Spanish Announce Team:

x Ax beat Holmes after the Demolition Decapitation in 0:01:54

x Terry beat Jose via the PT 123 in 0:12:02

x Ax beat Sun after the Demolition Decapitation in 0:23:03

Rating: 1/2*

(Demolition won the Tag Team titles.)

[Russian Roulette] Four Corners Match:

Ivan Koloff defeated Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov and Nikita Koloff:

x Koloff beat Volkoff via the Russian Sickle in 0:08:52

x Koloff beat Zhukov via the Russian Sickle in 0:20:43

x I. Koloff beat Koloff via a flying lariat in 0:24:47

Rating: -*** 1/2

Elimination Match:

Evolution (Batista, Randy Orton and Ric Flair) beat The Fabulous Freebirds and Terry Gordy 3 falls to 1:

x J. Garvin beat R. Flair via the DDT in 0:16:14

x R. Orton beat J. Garvin via the RKO in 0:30:43

x R. Orton beat T. Gordy via a flying forearm in 0:32:00

x R. Orton beat M. Hayes via a flying forearm in 0:32:21

Survivors: Randy Orton, Batista

Rating: * 1/4

[Loser(s) can't use the word Hunter in his name] Handicap-Match:

The Head Hunters defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley when Head Hunter #2 defeated

Triple H by disqualification in 0:07:16.

Rating: * 1/2

After the match, Triple H attacked the Head Hunters and then he hit William Regal with an ax to the gut.

Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo defeated Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg when

Bischoff pinned Lesnar after a small package in 0:08:32.

Rating: -* 1/2

Mitsuharu Misawa pinned Jimmy Valiant with the Tiger Driver in 0:07:27.

Rating: * 1/4

Toshiaki Kawada defeated Afa by disqualification in 0:05:21.

Rating: DUD

After the match, we got a challenge from the Wild Samoans to the team of Kawada and Misawa

Bob Backlund and Balls Mahoney defeated Necro Butcher and Greg Valentine when

B. Mahoney pinned Valentine with the Nutcracker Suite in 0:08:10.

Rating: -*

Eugene Dinsmore made The Genius submit to the Stone Cold Stunner in 0:04:47.

Rating: ***

{whoops... I messed up there.. }

CLASSIC BLOOPER MOMENT! (from an old TNM7 match of mine)

They're brawling on the first floor.
Damian 666 takes Randy Savage down with a power bomb.

There is no referee to count.

Gorgeous George comes from behind and hits Damian 666 with a chair.

Randy Savage hits Damian 666 with an inside cradle.

There is no referee to count.

Giro Mastura is back on the job.

Giro Mastura counts: One, two, thr... kickout.

Madusa puts Randy Savage on top of Damian 666.

Giro Mastura counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.

Damian 666 is struggling to get out of the hold.

Damian 666 is close to escaping the hold.

Damian 666 tries to fight the pain.

Damian 666 submits after 13 seconds.

All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.

Hawk and Brian Pillman defeated Animal and Brakkus when Pillman pinned Brakkus with the DDT in 0:08:01. Animal suffered a back injury. He will be out for approximately 1 card.

Rating: -*** 1/4

This is where I go all out on the Zombie idea. You see, It's Zombie Hawk and Zombie Pillman. And now we have Zombie Road Warriors. BRRAAAIIINS... WHAT A RUSH!!

Jake Roberts is in grabbing distance.

Jake Roberts dives for the keg, but he misses.

The Sandman tries to climb the ladder.

The Sandman is on his way up.

The Sandman is half-way up.

The Sandman is almost on top of the ladder.

The Sandman is in grabbing distance.

The Sandman has retrieved the keg.

The crowd is giving The Sandman a standing ovation.

Ladder Match:

The Sandman defeated Jake Roberts in 0:04:25.

Rating: *

King Kong Bundy and Kamala defeated The Insane Clown Posse when Bundy pinned Violent J with the Avalanche in 0:00:48.

Rating: -* 1/4

The Undertaker pinned Great Muta with the Last Ride in 0:08:17.

Rating: *** 1/2

Sting and The Hurricane defeated La Resistance when Hurricane pinned R. Conway after a Shining Wizard in 0:00:28.

Rating: 1/2*

El Gigante pinned Brazo De Plata with the Choke Slam in 0:08:38.

Rating: -** 1/2

Elimination Match:

Hulk Hogan, Matt Hardy and Lita beat Stevie Richards, David Flair and Prince Iaukea 3 falls to 2:

x Richards beat Hogan via the Stevie Kick in 0:16:37

x Richards beat M. Hardy via the Stevie Kick in 0:18:16

x Lita beat Richards via the Moonsault in 0:20:03

x Lita beat D. Flair via pinfall in 0:31:07

x Lita beat Iaukea via the Moonsault in 0:32:03

Survivors: Lita

Rating: -***

No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:

Sabu pinned Chyna after an Asai moonsault in 0:06:40.

Rating: 1/4*

Jyushin Lyger pinned George Steele after a dragon suplex in 0:07:01.

Rating: -* 3/4

Darryl, Wendell and Chad Angeli defeated Los Villanos (Villano III, Villano IV and Villano V) when Wendell pinned Villano III with the DDT in 0:10:38.

Rating: -3/4*

Rob Gilbert hits El Hijo Del Santo.

Rob Gilbert punches El Hijo Del Santo.

Rob Gilbert is being booed like there is no tomorrow.

Rob Gilbert hits a spin kick on El Hijo Del Santo.

El Hijo Del Santo hits Rob Gilbert with a slap.

El Hijo Del Santo nails Rob Gilbert with a slap.

The Aztec throws Rob Gilbert a hockey stick.

Rob Gilbert hits El Hijo Del Santo with it and goes for the pin.

Masahiro Chono counts: One, two, three.

Rob Gilbert is being booed like there is no tomorrow.

No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match with Special Referee Masahiro Chono:

Rob Gilbert pinned El Hijo Del Santo after hitting him with a hockey stick in 0:19:01.

Rating: ***

(Rob Gilbert won the Heavyweight title.)

and in the end, I put the title back on myself. Screw off Santito!

Rob E Dangerously · August 16, 2004

Rey Misterio Jr. and Earthquake defeated Juventud Guerrera and Kurrgan when Earthquake pinned J. Guerrera after a powerslam in 0:04:56.

Rating: -3/4*

Masato Tanaka and Pat Tanaka defeated Lance Diamond and Paul Diamond when P. Tanaka pinned Diamond after a powerbomb in 0:08:11.

Rating: ** 3/4