Guest Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Smark darling Joanie Laurer has recently been announced as appearing on NJPW shows soon. Apparently she will debut on May 2nd and will be competing against guys. Im really looking forward to those Chyna/Chono matches COUGHnotreallyCOUGH. Heres a piece from http://www.altwrestling.net/columns/marcdow042802.html On May 2, 2002, one of the world's most venerated wrestling promotions is officially going to flush themselves into the crapper. In the above picture is Japanese legend Antonio Inoki initiating an agreement with Joanie "Chyna" Laurer, and Inoki's company, New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW). It appears that Ms. Laurer will be training at the company's training center in Los Angeles in preparation for wrestling the men on the New Japan roster. This is absurd. In Japan, women's wrestling is BIG business (well, panties worn by young schoolgirls are also sold in vending machines, and are apparently big business as well, which says something -- I'm not sure what, exactly). Joanie Laurer getting her abysmal workrate exposed by Momoe Nakanishi or any of the other women in All Japan Women's Wrestling, Arsion, or GAEA would still make Laurer a great payday. But, since Joanie is a "groundbreaker" for women in pro wrestling, she has to work with the guys. It is no big secret that since Keiji Muto left NJPW in December, taking with him most of their young talent, including their most promising athlete Satoshi Kojima (think if Austin left the WWF for one of the startups taking Jericho, Edge, Rhyno, Benoit and Brock Lesnar), that New Japan has been grasping wildly at straws to regain attendance and prestige. They have or are planning to bring in in such names as Eddie Guerrero and the Steiner Brothers ro pop business. But, given Vince McMahon's control of the American wrestling scene, bringing over Americans will only be a brief stopgap. As anyone knows who has ever watched Japanese wrestling, the Puroresu style is extremely stiff, and the workers take pride in their offense looking as real and as devastating as possible. Winning a match in Japan is as much a testament to your skill as a wrestler as it is to having the will to survive. Such legendary names as Inoki, Tatsumi Fujinami, Keiji Muto, Vader, Masahiro Chono, and Stan Hansen have enhanced their legends as venerable wrestlers because of their ability to withstand punishment and dish it out in return. With that being said, beating The Kat, Ivory, Lita and Chris Jericho, and bodyslamming Bart Gunn and 2 Cold Scorpio, does not equate to being hit in the head with six Shining Wizards, getting clotheslined out of your boots, or being kicked in the head and getting stretched in a painful STF. There is no reason to believe that New Japan Pro Wrestling would want to work less stiffly for one match per show. The difference would obviously show, and New Japan's woes would be completely on display for all to see. Signing Chyna is a great move to get the outside world talking. The mainstream press believes that Chyna is a great, popular athlete. You and I, on the other hand, know that Chyna is just another female product of the Vince McMahon machine, who was treated differently because of her physical gifts. Vince gave Chyna breasts, a normal-sized jaw, and two Playboy shoots. What she gave Vince back in return was poor matches, poor promos, and a poorly-executed heel turn, but a wildly popping crowd. Well, the Elephant Man was popular too, in his heyday. Let's just hope that Chyna isn't so desperate for the spotlight that she becomes a freakish sideshow as well. If she's as educated and independent as she claims to be, then, don't treat her like a woman, don't treat her like a man, treat her like a person who needs to find a new direction in life, before she ruins her own. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 29, 2002 PLEASE!!!!!! Stiff the Hell out of her. Triple H isn't around to protect her now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RicFlairGlory Report post Posted April 29, 2002 This is me *yawn* This is me not caring about chyna *yawn* no difference Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Satanico Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Good maybe this will get her stop appearing on TCM. I love that channel and i don't enjoy seeing her on the channel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lord of The Curry Report post Posted April 29, 2002 *Raises imaginary bottle of beer* Here's to Chyna taking a Judoh-Driver..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Whats TCM? Turner Classic Movies? What does she do there? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Hmm, neat story. I'm glad she found work somewhere, I hate anyone falling from prominence like she had, even if it is her. Probably why hearing about Tammy Sytch makes me more and more depressed as I hear about her problems(I for one want to see that porno she's doing). Hell, this may just do for many what it will do for me: Get them interested in this Puro stuff we hear such raves about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Satanico Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Whats TCM? Turner Classic Movies? What does she do there? Yes She's been introducing some of the newer 80's movies that TCM now shows along with their normal old stuff. The worse part of her being on there is that she tries dressing like a woman but it just makes her look like a transvestite that just walked off the set of a John Waters movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Human Fly Report post Posted April 29, 2002 "PLEASE!!!!!! Stiff the Hell out of her. Triple H isn't around to protect her now." My thoughts exactly, lets she how she holds up. Also, Women's wrestling is a lot more butal in Japan why can't she fight the Women? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Some Guy Report post Posted April 29, 2002 Chyna will definatley be a heel because everyone knows the Japanese hate China. Bad puns kick ass Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Risk Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Chyna will definatley be a heel because everyone knows the Japanese hate China. Bad puns kick ass I thought the same thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly Report post Posted April 30, 2002 I feel bad for Chyna. I hope she is treated decently in Japan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Yech... at least the Japanese won't be able to stand for Chyna's shoddy workrate. I'd say the calls for "stiffing the hell" out of her would be mean, but that is how they work over there and since she made that choice knowing that's not how she works and is probably expecting some special treatment, she deserves to be "stiffed the hell out of". Whoa, that sounds dirty. Even worse since it's Chyna we're talking about... ::shudders:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Satanico Report post Posted April 30, 2002 I feel bad for Chyna. I hope she is treated decently in Japan. And i laugh at Chyno and hope she is at the recieving end of several of those high impact Japanese finishers that involve the head and neck. Please don't crucify me Puroresu fans. I haven't watched as many Japanese tapes as i should watch so i don't have alot of knowledge about the move names Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mad Dog Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Here's hoping that Don Frye decides to shoot on her trans-gendered ass. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Caliban Report post Posted April 30, 2002 I'm looking forward to being able to download clips of Chyna getting the Ganso bomb in a couple of years... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Actually, the other day I was listening to the radio on the way home from and Barry Williams (aka Greg Brady) was trying to get Andrew Dice Clay to box Chyna in the next Celebrity Boxing special. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Man, she is going to get her ass handed to her, and probably every other piece of silicone on her. Dear god, I just thought of something... I hope she doesn't join Team 2000! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Nevermortal Report post Posted April 30, 2002 Dammit! She's not doing Joshi? Well, there goes my hopes of Aja Kong decapitating her with a uraken. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HartFan86 Report post Posted April 30, 2002 *Raises imaginary bottle of beer* Here's to Chyna taking a Judoh-Driver..... LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
