I nearly ran over a fat kid today.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

So I went downtown today, driving my mother's 1995 mercury villager mini-van, to get some legal documents I need. After picking up said documents I started driving home. I hit a red light on the way, when I notice these fat kids (around 15) yelling across the street to each other. Real "morbidly obese" looking kids. The light turns green, and the kid started WALKING INTO THE STREET. And when I saw walking, I mean SLOWLY. On purpose. He was like a 90 year old man walking across the street, holding up ALL the traffic, and laughing it up with his friends across the street. I honked my horn and he gave me "the look". When I saw "The look" I mean the "I wanna jelly donut, bitch" look. Well I'm not exactly a nice person, so I got VERY pissed, and decided to scare this fucker so that he would never do it again. So I started driving and pretended to be looking in the glove compartment for something and I see the kid start waddling like hell back to the sidewalk. I was very proud of myself and felt like sharing the story here at The SmartMarks.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

He was wearing a Kurt Angle shirt, if that means anything.

[Guest Anticrombie]

Some fat-ass 4-year-old-looking fathead waddled out of his house SO FUCKING SLOW without looking.... had I not honked the fat fucker would have been Geo Metro-fied!

[Guest DonVito]

When I saw "The look" I mean the "I wanna jelly donut, bitch" look.

If you ever see me give you that look that means you're about to meet the inside of my belly.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

This was a parody thread, guys. Stop posting in it.

[Art Sandusky 0]

This is what happens when I don't come here for a couple of days. I swear, I can't leave you kids unsupervised for a single day.

[Guest T®ITEC]

I nearly ran over Jeebus today. Stupid bastard ran right in front of my bicycle.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

I nearly ran a joke into the ground today.

 

K.