Backstage Politics~!

[The Mandarin 0]

Being an internet fan, I hear of constant reports of wrestlers exercising their "backstage power". Locker room leaders like Undertaker and Kurt Angle seem to have a lot of this and use it, while wrestlers such as Rob Van Dam and other lower card workers do not and are often subsequently buried. What does it take to have backstage power? One would assume that you have to have good relations with top dogs in the company, you have to be WWE born and raised, and if you really want to be a head honcho, you have to be 300 pounds and have played some college football. Screwing the boss's daughter doesn't hurt either.

 

So what do we know about backstage politics? Not as much as we'd like to think. But we do know that it may be a factor into today's product. So in this diary, I will guess what tactics were used that shaped or modified the happenings of this week's TV tapings while adding my own dialogue to some of the situations. Additional backstage meetings that may or may not have any outcome on the product will be thrown in as well.

 

I'll also assign star ratings to the politics, a DUD being no power exercised at all, ***** being "ABUSE OF POWER! WOO! ABUSE OF POWER! ABUSE OF POWER! WOOOO!" as Ric Flair would like to say.

 

Here's the current roster. I assigned "hand sizes" to everyone. The higher the number, the more power you command. All of this is reflecting what we see on television, so don't be suprised if someone's hand value goes up during their subsequent TV push.

RAW Roster

100 Nobody.

90 to 99 Jim Ross, Triple H

80 to 89 Mick Foley, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels

70 to 79 Kane, The Rock

60 to 69 Al Snow, Chris Benoit, Edge, Eugene, Jerry Lawler, Randy Orton, Trish Stratus, William Regal

50 to 59 Batista, Chris Jericho, Christian, Johnathon Coachman, Lilian Garcia, Lita, Shelton Benjamin, Stacy Keibler, Test

40 to 49 A-Train, Eric Bischoff, Gail Kim, Garrison Cade, Ivory, Jazz, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Maven, Molly Holly, Rhyno, Rob Conway, Rodney Mack, Rosey, Steven Richards, Sylvan Grenier, Tajiri, The Hurricane, Val Venis, Victoria

30 to 39 Chris Nowinski, Chuck Palumbo, Nidia, Tyson Tomko

 

SmackDown Roster

100 Nobody.

90 to 99 Undertaker

80 to 89 Kurt Angle

70 to 79 Paul Heyman

60 to 69 Eddie Guerrero, Hardcore Holly, JBL

50 to 59 Billy Gunn, Billy Kidman, Booker T, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Hiroko, John Cena, Michael Cole, Rey Mysterio, Rico, Rob Van Dam, Tazz, Theodore Long, Torrie Wilson

40 to 49 Bill DeMott, Charlie Haas, Chavo Guerrero, Funaki, Heidenreich, Jamie Noble, Kenzo Suzuki, Nunzio, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Rene Dupree, Scotty 2 Hotty, Spike Dudley,

30 to 39 Akio, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Danny Basham, Dawn Marie, Doug Basham, Johnny Stamboli, Mark Jindrak, Shannon Moore

 

First "show" up soon.

[The Mandarin 0]

RAW Live on Spike TV- Aug. 23, 2004

 

We are LIVE tonight from backstage in Anaheim, California.

 

6:26 PM

Chris Benoit vs. Tonight's Booking Sheet

And here's smark darling, Chris Benoit. Benoit passes by tonight's booking booking sheet to start, and he works his way down the list. STIFF hit to the ego as he finds out that he's gotta face Tyson Tomko tonight. Yes, THE Tyson Tomko. On Sunday Night Heat. The man who was just two weeks ago World Champion stares (notice the selling of the dismay)..he's passing by agent Arn Anderson(!)..will he launch a protest?! We'll find out after the break.

 

Back now, and Benoit's working the confusion as to WHY he is wrestling Tyson Tomko. He stops Anderson, this could be it--but Benoit just asks what other plans they've got for him tonight! SWERVE! Anderson asks him to do a run-in during Regal vs. Flair. Benoit asks if he's supposed to get in the ring, but Arn TAKES HIM DOWN with a "No, you won't really be involved in the finish," comeback. Benoit nods in approval and walks away at 3:13. 1/4*

 

Thoughts: Smarks didn't like the cop-out finish, but it is keeping with Chris Benoit's character of being easy to work with. This isn't good for Benoit, though, as he's dropping down the card at a lightning speed.

 

--

The Rock arrives in the arena after getting out of his expensive car.

 

Jim Ross goes into the catering room! What is this all about?

--

 

6:44 PM

Backstage Segment: Chuck Palumbo is with management in the back. "Chuck, how do you feel about being forced to squash a local jobber tonight?" "Well, it's not really a step forward for me, but I'll work it like a man." Chuck is still suffering complications from his brutal politician attack three years ago when he forgot to shake the crippled Droz's hand. Dr. James Andrews has diagnosed it as "acute jobberitis of the Chuck".

 

Triple H w/ Wedding Ring vs. Planned Material

"Uhhhh...it's time to go seee Viiiinnnceee...*HHHonk*..it's time to go see Viiincce--" Triple H makes his entrance into Vince McMahon's office for his weekly 20 minute promo. Vince holds the door open for Hunter. Triple H tells Vince he doesn't believe in destiny. He doesn't believe in consequences. But he does believe that the first draft for tonight's Randy Orton/Evolution segment could be a cancer for his career. "Vince-uh, I have a problem with this booking. See, nothing against the writers, I love them all-- especially the head writer, but I don't like the way this is going. It says this here--" *Triple H BLOWS THE SPOT by pointing to the writing material, not remembering his father-in-law is dyslexic* "--uh..it says that Randy Orton's supposed to knock me out with the belt shot. Now, I think that would just ruin me. I've been dropping matches like flies recently, and now if he were to knock me on my ass cleanly this soon before Wrestlemania, that would bury me." Vince is in for The Responsal, but his son Shane runs in! We head to a break!

 

We're back after that cliffhanger. "Vince, your son Shane is on line one. He says it's urgent." "Tell him I'll take the call later." Shane's attempted run-in is narrowly averted. Triple H stares him down. Vince puckers his lips. But WAIT-- Triple H with the foreign object! Hunter flashes the wedding band at dear old dad. "I'll tell you what, Hunter. Tonight, IN THAT VERY RING.. you will not only be blinded with Randy Orton's spit beforehand, but you will immediately wake up and start drooling after being hit in the face with your--uh--Randy's belt." "I like the way you think, dad." A hug ends it at 14:19. ***

 

Thoughts: Good offense there by Triple H, but it seems he always relies on his trusty jackhammer (dear ol' dad) for victory. This makes him look somewhat weak to the boys in the back. This showcased the bond between Hunter and Vince, and their stable (Hunter, Vince, Flair, Stephanie) is really coming along. I suspect one of them will turn on the other eventually, breaking up the group for good.

 

--

7:11

 

Chris Jericho is told that he will win later tonight. But wait-- SWERVE! It will be by disqualification. Gotta protect Edge's heat. Jericho agrees to the master plan.

 

Backstage, Triple H celebrates his victory with Ric Flair. Hunter asks what other lines he can rip off Flair for his promo.

 

Retired politician Shawn Michaels makes his comeback in just a matter of weeks. But the question is-- is the Michaels/Jesus combo still tagging? Jesus has been subsequently buried on TV since the injury. Nobody has been praising the Lord, and His stock has dropped. Locker room talk has it Jesus is also upset at the "Wedding from Hell" tagline to tonight's main event.

 

--

 

7:40

 

We come back and Rosey and Val Venis are discussing the higlights of last week's suprising effort by Sylvan Grenier, whom due to his ties with Pat Patterson was let off the hook from jobbing clean to Rhyno.

 

Stevie Richards' stock goes down when he forgets the big spot and doesn't remember his dress clothes. They have to improvise the finish and he loses the bout to WWE brass-- and some cash.

 

SmackDown Rebound- Kurt Angle does a run-in and leads Luther Reigns to backstage victory, getting him upcoming high-profile matches. The proposed Heidenreich angle got sacked because the Undertaker wasn't feeling it. And Sakoda says his goodbyes which may spell doom for his partner-in-being-foreign Akio.

 

The Rock vs. The Diva Search Contestants w/ La Resistance and The Coach

The Rock marches into the writing staff's room and is immediately hit with greetings. That gets 2. Rock was always a favourite of the writing staff as they don't have to do much of the work while teaming with him. Rock asks what his role is tonight and they dispatch of him quickly with the Diva-Search-Segment-Ad-Lib. They follow it up with the announcement of pie-eating. That gets another 2. Rock no-sells the offense at first but will go along with it all just as long as WWE keeps plugging his movies while he's away. Rock goes off to practise his hilarious "sperm bank" joke for tonight at 3:42. DUD

 

Thoughts: Basically a squash. Rock's selling was bad as well, but this does nothing to reduce his backstage power as he continues to make tons of money for "Executive Producer" Vince McMahon.

 

8:35

WWE's Smack of the Night: Ric Flair's book being published may have got him more over backstage, but he's still selling effects from Plane Ride from Hell including that upcoming CourtTV bout vs. The Stewardesses.

 

Main Event Promo: Jim Ross is ambushed in catering by Johnny Ace. Jim had just finished going over a plate of chicken wings. "Jim, we need to talk." Jim and Johnny make their way to a nearby office. Jim goes to sit down but SNAPS the chair! "Good God almighty, people need to stop leaving these gimmicked chairs around."

"..er..yeah. Anyways, Jim, it's about that one guy you've been looking at. Now, I know you're a big fan--"

"This young stud has unlimited potential, in my view."

"Yeah, but he came down with an unfortunate injury just a few days ago."

"They took him to a medical facility and we hope to get an update."

"Well, the diagnosis is bad. And I think it's not worth the money to sign him to OVW if he'll just be rehabbing for half of his contract," Ace said.

"Business is about to pick up!"

"Yeah. So I think it's a no-go."

"But he's a hoss! College football! I'll tell ya what Ace, in over 25 years in this business, while you may think I have more guts than brains, you'd be goofier than a pet coon to not hire this young horse if you think just because of some vile injury that looks like a car-wreck may keep him from being quicker than a hiccup by the time he gets back. But I may be wrong."

"..what? Anyways, Jim, I'm director of talent relations, not you. So if I say no, then you better listen to me. You've probably got more important things to do. Go do them."

"Well, isn't that heinous! Quite frankly, I don't give a damn any longer if you're gonna treat me like a scalded dog! You can go to hell, you big booger red! And quite frankly, you've got some weight issues! Oh, there will be hell to pay, tomorrow night at the House Show!"

Jim Ross walked off in a huff while Johnny Ace just sat there as RAW was about to start.

 

Thoughts: I like the continuity there. If you recall, it was Johnny Ace who got Jim Ross's old job. The tension is brewing between them and they may wrap it up at the next big pay-per-view. Jim Ross was on fire there as well. My only criticism is that staff angles are getting old. In the end, it doesn't put the wrestlers over.

 

Final Thoughts: The main event promo and the Triple H bout saved an otherwise lackluster effort. The Rock was never good at backstage politics and he was blown up at 3:00 in. That's just exposing the business, man.

[tekcop 0]

That's great stuff, dude. We need more jobber skits, though. Will you be doing Heat and Velocity?

[Guest Real F'n Show]

That was great. Thanks.

[reign 0]

Keep 'em comin'...that Jim Ross vs. Johnny Ace main event was killing me!

[Guest General Spliff]

That was bloody great. I think i speak for everybody when i say i cant wait too see the next episode. Keep up the good work

[The Mandarin 0]

Dude, I'm like, too busy (see: lazy) to update this on a continuous basis. I will throw in the odd show from time to time. But don't let this die yet~! If you guys want to get your kicks in by writing "segments" for different shows (aka. writing what happened backstage after Chavo got injured or how Vince McMahon is suddenly "fond" of Hiroko), that would be super cool.

 

Here's some ideas:

-Rene Dupree pisses off the brass by doing the French Tickler.

-Heidenreich goes nuts..again.

-Undertaker doesn't feel it.

-Diva Search contestants bicker.

-HBK leads another wrestler to being a born-again Christian.

-A rookie forgets to shake hands with Droz; buried for six years.

[Guest Big Daddy V1]

That was some good stuff there.

 

Even if you only do a weekly show (like only do Raw or something), that would still make me happy every week.