I fucking love Grindcore

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

The star of the story is the guy that posted this on the Alberta metal forum. He's also the same guy that knocked me and some chick down a flight of stairs at the Alberta Dethfest a few weeks ago. These guys are fucked.

 

From The Georgia Straight , a Vancouver alternative press paper:

 

The Shit Hits The Fan In Cowtown

 

By john lucas

 

Publish Date: 16-Sep-2004

 

Extreme Elvis, eat your heart out. Vancouver's TARD is known for its out-there antics, but when the band played at Calgary nightclub the Underground on September 5, things got decidedly out of hand. Singer Jessley Willis, who often wears a diaper on-stage, defecated in said undergarment during the course of a song. He then took (fecal) matters into his own hands and displayed his doings for the audience to see. One member of the crowd got a little too close for comfort and ended up smeared with Willis's diaper droppings.

 

Tard drummer Mister Nasty picks up the story: "Everybody cleared out from the front of the stage, right to the back of the bar," he told the Straight. "And so the song stops, and Jessley's like, 'Where did everybody go? What's wrong?' We had like one or two songs left in the set. We break into another song, and the same dude who got the crap smeared on him, and a buddy of his, walk right up to the front of the stage. They were the only two guys right in front. Everybody else is at the back, like 'Who knows what might happen next.' "

 

What happened next was that the two men jumped on-stage and assaulted Willis, bloodying his nose before the rest of Tard even noticed what was happening "We all figured out what was going on," Nasty said. "We jumped in and pushed the guys off. Then they got kicked out of the place altogether."

 

Nasty, who described Tard as a "handicapped grindcore band", noted that the group has pulled some bizarre stunts in the past, but he added, "Without a doubt that's the most extreme thing we've ever done.

 

"We've got basically two singers, Jessley and Timmy, and they kind of beat on each other the whole time," Nasty said. "I mean, Jessley's climbed on top of a monitor and done like a headfirst dive and broken Timmy's nose before. That happened at the Cobalt, actually, at one of our first shows. We have wheelchair moshes, too. We have two wheelchairs. We just stick 'em in the front and people ride around in 'em and smash into each other. We've wheelchaired people off the stage onto the floor. It gets pretty insane. Tard is just a crazy band, man. That's all I can say."

 

Calgary concert promoter Wee Claire, who booked the Underground show, did not witness the incident. The Straight asked her if she was likely to welcome Tard back to Cowtown. "Probably not, no," she said. "I am going to get all sides of the story. I have received the perspective of my coworkers at the bar. I'm gonna talk to a few audience members and perhaps my local opening band and just gather information on what their perception of it was and come to a conclusion. So I'm not going to say I'm definitely not going to book Tard again. I just want to know what happened, and then I will come to the conclusion after that."

 

We most likely will be booking with a member of this board and not Claire, but best left unsaid until something is solidified. Not for a few months, anyways.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Yeah, I would've beat that guy's ass, too. One can do this because it's grindcore. Fistfighting is acceptable under any circumstances. If something doesn't break during the set, it was a shitty performance.