Fucked up dating experinces

[Guest Flyboy]

Texas women are overrated, Dames.  Beneath that big blonde hair lies the mentality of a small child, more often than not.

Overrated? HA! Says you.  Big chesty blondes who are dumb...thats just perfect.

 

Dames - Corrupting Women Across The Nation

Heh.. I'm from Texas and live here, so I should know a little bit..

 

Texas women aren't THAT overrated... go to Houston, Dallas, etc.. It's like.. wow there.

 

Abilene right, Kinetic?  Been there many times.  Reminds me a little bit of where I live (Lubbock).  Never see many Abilene women since I'm always passing through.

 

Oh, and I don't have any fucked up dating experiences.  Fucked up break-ups are another thing, though.  

[Guest TheDames7]

Well...I guess I know which Texas poster I'm going to be spending more time with if I ever do decide to go down there...

 

Dames - Yee-Haw!

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Wow. you guys had bad experinces with ministers daughters? all the ministers daughters I know are sex freaks.

[Guest Kinetic]

Heh.. I'm from Texas and live here, so I should know a little bit..

 

Texas women aren't THAT overrated... go to Houston, Dallas, etc.. It's like.. wow there.

 

Abilene right, Kinetic?  Been there many times.  Reminds me a little bit of where I live (Lubbock).  Never see many Abilene women since I'm always passing through.

The one time I went there (for a house show in January, as a matter of fact) I was pretty impressed with Lubbock.  It has a big college and everything, so it's automatically better for women than Abilene.  But obviously bigger cities are always better.  I think the key for me, as far as not going insane from sexual frustration, is to get the fuck out of Texas as soon as possible.

[Guest Flyboy]

Heh.. I'm from Texas and live here, so I should know a little bit..

 

Texas women aren't THAT overrated... go to Houston, Dallas, etc.. It's like.. wow there.

 

Abilene right, Kinetic?  Been there many times.  Reminds me a little bit of where I live (Lubbock).  Never see many Abilene women since I'm always passing through.

The one time I went there (for a house show in January, as a matter of fact) I was pretty impressed with Lubbock.  It has a big college and everything, so it's automatically better for women than Abilene.  But obviously bigger cities are always better.  I think the key for me, as far as not going insane from sexual frustration, is to get the fuck out of Texas as soon as possible.

I know what house show you're talking about... I was going to go, but said "Screw it."  It was the month HHH had came back...

 

We have a big college, but the college is.. well, eh.  Women are pretty good here... Texas isn't that bad.  Well, it can be.. but still.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Allright...i think i was 15 maybe 16 and i was at a dance chilling out with my friends when this girl come up to me. she tells me that her friend want to dance with me, so i look in the direction she's indicating and she's pointing right at this chick that looks like she was 19, just oh..my..god...hot. So I get all cocky and start to walk towards her, she's giving me a big smile and a come hither look. so I'm just about 3-4 feet from her when i trip..and fall right into her. sending her falling to the ground.

 

She ran out of the dance and I never saw her again. and i was given the nick name 'twinkle toes'.*sigh*

[Guest Flyboy]

Smooth move, Twinkle Toes... er, I mean CWM.  Smooth move.  

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

D'OH! i shouldn't have told that story!

[Guest Bosstones Fan]

I went out with this girl once a couple of years ago when I was in college.  We went out to dinner, did something (I can't remember exactlly what) else, and then went back to my apartment.  We were watching some movie on tv, then started to get a little freaky.  So we move into the bedroom, and she takes off my pants and starts giving me a blowjob.  All of sudden (and without warning), she stops, looks at me and says "We can't have sex."  I say, "What?  Why not?"  And she says, "Because I don't have sex on the first date."  She gets dressed and then asked me, "What do you want to do now?"  

 

I took her ass home and haven't seen her since.  Fucking bitch.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Hey, another one, where I REALLY messed up.  In 8th grade (note: I wasn't in a proper mindset in middle school... how I acted back then isn't a reflection on me now because I'm WAY beyond that) I really really liked this girl named Daniela, and I broke up her relationship with her boyfriend, and sent her some sick poems pasted to playing cards on Valentine's Day.  The worst, which was about necrophilia (hey, I said I wasn't in a proper mindset...), got me a one-way ticket to a meeting with the guidance counselor and the principal.  The principal flat out asked me with a straight face if I was "casting Satanic love spells" and if I was a necrophiliac.  Oh, how I wish those days had never been.

 

Ready for the clincher though? It turns out Daniela is a lesbian! It's like Chasing Amy on some serious crack ???

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

lol

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

"Because I don't have sex on the first date."

 

You should have told her that it was time to start. Sex on a first date? There was a girl I met during my summer of love who ended up being one of the groupies that would show up at our suite every day. One weekend, her cousin came to visit her, and she was a sight to behold. I met her cousin on a Friday night and talked to the other girl for the first time that night. The next day in the dining hall, the girl came over to where I was sitting and we talked for a little while and I had gotten her to agree to come visit me that night (with her cousin of course). The girl was supposed to go to the movies with this guy that was trying to be her boyfriend (she was really using him as transportation for her and her friends) that night, but she got the birght idea to stop by my suite and see if I wanted to come to the movies with them. I wasn't there when she came by, but they came by later that night. All three of us were in my room, and we ended up watching tv. The girl was sitting in my room on the couch while her cousin (who I wanted to exchange carnal knowledge with) was in my bed. Her cousin ended up sitting next to me on the couch and we were all one big happy family. The girl fell asleep on my left, and her cousin was supposedly asleep on my right. I was about to get up, but the cousin pulled my arm (she was pretending to be asleep)  and I sat back down. She started rubbing my arm and worked her way into my pants, while the other girl was asleep next to me. Later on, she "woke up" and asked me if she had done anything nasty while she was asleep. They left my room the next morning, (it was now Sunday) and went somewhere with my suitemates (who all wanted to fuck this girl too) while I worked on a paper that I had due. They reappeared at the suite, but I had to go across campus to use someone's computer. When I got back to my room, everybody was gone, and I began to study. My suitemates came back with the two girls and they were joking around in the living room. The girl I wanted to fuck (I'm tired of calling her the cousin) came into my room wanting and sat down on the couch. I was trying to work, but I knew what she wanted to do. Her cousin came into the room to see what was going on (nothing luckily) and my suitemates uhered her out and kept her busy. The girl that was in my room locked the door, so I had to abruptly end my studying. I made my way over to the couch, but we didn't really do much. I'm going to cut to the chase because I'm telling a long, boring story. That night, both girls were in my room, and the girl I wanted to fuck was supposed to be going home. The other girl fell asleep, and the girl I wanted to fuck took advantage of her by telling her a lie to get her to go back to her room. She was going to wait with me for whoever was supposed to come pick her up (nobody was coming). After she left, things were beautiful. There's nothing like fucking a girl with a beautiful body in front of a mirror and watching yourself do it. I met this girl on Friday, didn't really talk to her until Saturday night, and sealed the deal by Sunday night. Dates? I don't need no stinking dates! The situation later went awry, but I'll tell you about that later. I'll just say this, the guy who wanted to date the girl whose cousin I wanted to fuck was a real bitch.

[Guest]

My best friend and I managed to secure dates with two of the hottest girls at my high school. My friend and I planned all week, everything was perfect, we were going to spend like 80 bucks apiece on the evening, (which is a lot when you're currently unemployed) and then the big day comes. I'm sitting in English class, with both of the girls....we'll go like this

Me = Greatest Lover on Earth

My Best Friend = that other guy

Girl I'm going out with = Girl 1

Girl that other guy's going out with = Girl 2

So another girl comes walking over and says "Hey, girl 2, who are you going out with tonight?" And Girl 2  says, "Greatest Lover on Earth." and Greatest Lover on Earth (me) says "No...you're going out with that other guy." And Girl 2 says, "I thought I was going out with you." And I say, "I thought you were going out with that other guy."....

 

And Girl 2 says, "Does that other guy think this is a date?"

Then she proceeded to break down into tears and yell "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" over and over again. That was fun explaining to him....I would've laughed if it wasn't so sad.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

for the whole texas debate

ill vouch or the women in austin,

theres a reason why im  going to visit friends there this summer

 

BPP: Sexier than Dames, and gets phone numbers

[Guest caboose]

Ok, my story isn't about strange people I've gone out with, but about a date which had more twists than an episode of RAW.

 

It was the summer of 2001 and I was pissed cos I realised I had just fucked up my end of year exams.

I basically decided that i would be pissed or stoned for the whole summer.

Come the end of July, I had only been sober for one day, which was my little sister's birthday, so i was justified.

Anyway it was the end of July and on a Friday night me and all my friends went out for my friend Andy's 17th birthday.

Lisa, a girl who I had been good friends with since I was like 7, had split with her boyfriend the previous day.

I hadn't actually spoken to Lisa since she hooked up with her boyfriend some 6 months previous, on the basis that her boyfriend was an absoloute jackass.

Well, she came out as well and me in my slightly drunk state made a few crude jokes at her expense during this night out.

Well when we all hit a club at about 1am, Lisa pulled me aside and asked why I had been insulting her all night.

I said I was a bit drunk and annoyed that the two of us hadn't spoke in so long.

We both apologised to each other and continued with the drinking. As the night went on, we started to talk more and more, got closer and closer, until we got thrown out of the club for sitting in the corner kissing each other all night.

On the long walk home, having run out of money for a cab, I revealed that back when I was 14, I had a big crush on her.

I said I would have asked her out, but because we got split into single sex schools, belive me it sucked like a bitch! I saw less of her and wasn't sure if she felt the same.

Well Lisa turnsaround and said she had a crush on me around the same time. By now I was kicking myself and decided that while she may be on the rebound, I would ask her out.

I asked her out to a date on the following Wednesday at 8pm and I walked her home.

I was out of town for the next 4 days so I didn't see her.

Come Wednesday evening, Lisa shows up at my door and I being the moron that I am, have forgotten all about it!

Well I get ready super fast and we head out to the Cinema to see Shrek.

During the film, everything was cool, we held hands, had been kissing and laughing all night long.

Suddenly as we are exiting the cinema, Lisa's phone rings, guess who it is.

It's her frickin' ex.

He tells her how he wants her back and says he needs to speak to her.

She tells me whats going on, and realising that she stills feels for him, tell her to go and meet him and try and salvage it if she can.

How Honourable Am I?

I walk home, ring up my mates, they are getting pissed in the park, so I go join them.

At about 2am, I get a call on my mobile, it's Lisa.

She says while she was talking to her ex, she realised it's me she now wants.

I say fine and tell her I'll ring her tomorrow because I'm a little drunk.

She asks me where I am, and says she wants to make it up to me.

I tell her I'm at the park ready to light up a splliff with my friends.

She says she'll be there soon. I'm thinking what the hell? Is she messing me about or is this legit?

Well she gets to the park at 3am, in the mean time, I had been explaining the story to my friends and had managed to get stoned.

As all my friends leave, we embraced and says she knows how to make it up to me.

I ask How?

She says follow me.

I follow her onto the small nine-hole golf course and behind the back of the golf shack.

She pulls down my trousers and Union Jack boxers, and proceeds on giving me the best HEAD I ever got!

Seriously it must have been the alcohol and weed, because it felt fucking AMAZING!

 

Where are we now?

Well we are still together and she's coming to Toronto with me when I move there in September.

She says if she likes it, she'll stay with me in Canada.

 

Moral of the story:

That was the strangest date EVER!

[Guest]

It was having a relationship with one girl that allowed me to make my now locally famous analogy between professional wrestling and sex. To me, just like a ***** Flair/Steamboat, you need two quality workers in there, willing to give and take moves. If one is slow, or has to be carried, or doesn't really do much of anything offensively, then the match quality suffers.

 

It didn't help that I ran into the sexual equivalent of El Gigante in my sex debut. In the five times we did it, she did less and less. I call her the Sack of Potatoes now, because that's what I think of when I think of her. She just laid there and didn't do ANYTHING back.

 

Not even head! She gave head once or twice, also my first encounters with such, and it was terrible. I was literally having to make myself stay aroused by thinking about stuff. I had to do this during sex eventually. Pretty bad I know. Turns out she gave terrible head on purpose, because she didn't want to. I never even asked for her to do it in the first place.

 

Of course, I did whatever she wanted me to do, and did it well too. My hands and mouth were ***** workers, even though I was literally learning how to do it as I went along. She got off many a time. As for me, I cannot say the same, at all. Not even once. I faked it twice though, even though they say guys can't fake it.

 

I think I was about to give up on the whole concept of sex at one point. "THIS is what the big deal is about?" I asked myself often. The way I saw it, it wasn't worth the trouble.

 

Her talking about being a good cook and saying she'd have an easy LIFE if I liked simple foods made me run for the hills. She was upset, telling me "I don't want you to think of me as some whore you fucked a few times or something." I told her that if she was a whore, I'd want my money back.

 

She still bothers me over AIM, wanting to get back together. I told a friend of mine that if I ever run into her, I'm going to open the conversation with:

 

"Okay, head or get out of my face. And I mean good head."

[Guest Singular]

"for the whole texas debate

ill vouch or the women in austin,

theres a reason why im  going to visit friends there this summer"

 

Damn right.  I've lived in Austin all most my whole life, and never has there been a time when there wasn't a large amount of fine women around.  And there are of course the big breasted blonde beauty's that always seem to be a few beers shy a six pack.  Don't bother me at all.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

ill have to say hi when im in austin then

 

after i see the women