Fucked up dating experinces

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

All right. Everybody's had bad relationships or mooned after a girl forever and then managed to fuck things up with the girl, post your stories here.

 

I'll post mine later.

[Guest converge241]

I saw this girl at a God Lives Underwater show and my friends encouraged me to talk to her she gave me her number and we started talking .. she was on the air of a local radio station and just smokin'..so we start dating and things are going good..one night after being out with friends while they were working, i left a "drunken swinger's call" if youve seen swingers, youll know what type of call i mean , and then add on drunk and rambling.. that was the end of that!

[Guest Kinetic]

It seems that every girl I date is part of a giant conspiracy to ensure that I never get to have sex again.  They all refuse me on the grounds of religion or fear of pregnancy or some sort of health concern.  I eventually lose interest, as dating without sex is a ridiculous waste of time.  I stay friends with them, though, because I'm a kind and generous person.  This allows me to be party to their many tales of sexual activity with other, obviously more persuasive people.

[Guest goodhelmet]

Fuck the kindness bullshit. I went that route and got played. After bartending for x amount of years, you realize people are full of shit and after a few drinks, you WILL get laid... if you're even a halfway decent looking person. Hell, even if you're an ugly bastard you can get some action. Worked for me.

[Guest Kinetic]

Fuck the kindness bullshit. I went that route and got played. After bartending for x amount of years, you realize people are full of shit and after a few drinks, you WILL get laid... if you're even a halfway decent looking person. Hell, even if you're an ugly bastard you can get some action. Worked for me.

I'm completely gorgeous.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

[Guest razazteca]

its all about confidence in yourself + smooth talking at the right time.

[Guest goodhelmet]

maybe it's because you live in a horrible northwest texas town (or wherever). or maybe you're just not getting them drunk enough.

[Guest Kinetic]

maybe it's because you live in a horrible northwest texas town (or wherever). or maybe you're just not getting them drunk enough.

That's it exactly.  There are over 200 churches in Abilene, a town with just over 100,000 people.  That's a lot of Jesus, and I'm not even close to being a religious person.  Most of the intelligent, attractive girls that I meet don't want to do what I want to do.  They want to invite me to their church.  Temper that with the fact that I'm a naturally peculiar person with a horrible disposition, and you have a recipe for datelessness.  I've got one tonight with a Zimbabwaen beauty queen, though.  Odds of sex are about 500:1.  Odds of miniature golf are extremely good.

[Guest goodhelmet]

yeah, churches suck!!! dude, get the alcohol. you'll have the church girls worshipping satan before it's through. and what's your horrible disposition? living in the podunk town? that can be overcome with ...more alcohol.

[Guest TheDames7]

Just got to comment.  Texas...chock full of good looking women no?  GO TO ANOTHER TOWN! Kinetic...you're beautiful man.

 

Helmet...even though you know about my problems, I still think the nice route is the way to go if you want to be truly happy.

 

NOW...onto a pretty fucked up story.  Its not mine, its a female cousins of mine.

 

She goes to NYU and some white guy asked her out on a date.  Now, my cousin is very um...she has a porn stars body basically.  After the date, he invites her over to his place and they start making out.  Now, she opens her eyes for a second because she starts hearing something...and he's jerking off while they're making out.  She has no idea what to do but she doesnt stop kissing him...she says she doesnt know why.  The guy cums and looks at her and says.."Thanks....I really needed that".  

 

She left immediately and never talked to that guy again.

 

I cried laughing when she told that story to me man.

 

Dames - Dr. Love

[Guest goodhelmet]

Sorry Dr. Love but fuck being nice. Being an asshole works. And happiness can be bought, right? Seriously, there's millions of women out there and you just have to be better than them. They will stand in line and wait to be noticed. And why would a truly intelligent girl go to church anyway?

[Guest TheDames7]

Eh, once they get some dick, they'll be calling you Jesus.

 

Dames - His Nickname in the Sack is "God"

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

fuck liquer, get some weed. pot heads get laid a hell of alot more then most people. trust me, I know.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Hmmm... note to self: be drunken potheaded arrogant asshole.

 

Seriously, ummm... here's one of my stories:

 

There was a girl I liked named Jennifer, around summer '00 I think, maybe summer '99, it doesn't matter.  Anyway, she had given me her number at the beginning of the summer, and finally, near the end, I got the chutzpah to call it.  I did, and got her answering machine.  I left a message asking her how her summer went and if she wanted to hang out to call me.  About ten minutes later, her mom calls back, and totally bitches me out, telling me that she knew what I was up to and if I EVER called again she'd call the cops.  Needless to say, I wasn't up to anything, had no idea what she was talking about, and started crying.  I find out when school starts again that Jennifer never even got the message and her mom is one of those super-butch crazy lesbians (this is from Jennifer's own description), and apparently that was the main reason why she viciously attacked me on the phone.

[Guest Kinetic]

Update:  What the name of the first track on This Year's Model?  It might as well be the story of my life.  We played miniature golf, as I predicted.  Then, she informed me that her brother--and she has this incestuous relationship with him that I don't even want to get into--wanted her home at 7:00.  On a Friday!  She's 19!  What the fuck?  In any case, this girl has no libido whatsoever and I just cannot pursue someone if there's no sex involved.  Still...she's so hot.

 

Texas women are overrated, Dames.  Beneath that big blonde hair lies the mentality of a small child, more often than not.

[Guest JHawk]

Might as well get my fucked up story in.

 

I'd been talking to this girl from college for about 3 months, and we were hitting it off very well.  So at this point she and I are doing some pretty heavy flirting.  So I ask her out, she turns me down, and I more or less go "Hey wait a second, we've been flirting for how long now?"  And she goes "I was flirting?"  No shit, she actually says that.

 

If that's not bad enough, she gets "engaged" two months later to some guy she was talking to online and hadn't even met yet.  Luckily that's when I figured out it wasn't me and she was completely psycho.

[Guest goodhelmet]

Update:  What the name of the first track on This Year's Model?  It might as well be the story of my life.  We played miniature golf, as I predicted.  Then, she informed me that her brother--and she has this incestuous relationship with him that I don't even want to get into--wanted her home at 7:00.  On a Friday!  She's 19!  What the fuck?  In any case, this girl has no libido whatsoever and I just cannot pursue someone if there's no sex involved.  Still...she's so hot.

 

Texas women are overrated, Dames.  Beneath that big blonde hair lies the mentality of a small child, more often than not.

ok, did you slip her alcohol?

Do not use pot. It will make the girl laugh a little and then fall asleep.

What are you attempting to get from her? Sex or relationship?or both?

[Guest TheDames7]

Texas women are overrated, Dames.  Beneath that big blonde hair lies the mentality of a small child, more often than not.

Overrated? HA! Says you.  Big chesty blondes who are dumb...thats just perfect.

 

Dames - Corrupting Women Across The Nation

[Guest Kinetic]

ok, did you slip her alcohol?

Do not use pot. It will make the girl laugh a little and then fall asleep.

What are you attempting to get from her? Sex or relationship?or both?

There really wasn't an opportunity to give her alcohol at the Putt-Putt course.  In fact, the date lasted all of 2 and a half hours before her brother wanted her home.  It's so ridiculous.  I refuse to date the Zimbabwean girl again until she acts like a fucking adult.  Honestly.

 

I'd like both, but I'm getting neither.

[Guest Kinetic]

Overrated? HA! Says you.  Big chesty blondes who are dumb...thats just perfect.

 

Dames - Corrupting Women Across The Nation

Sounds like you're a Debra man, then.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Update:  What the name of the first track on This Year's Model?  It might as well be the story of my life.  We played miniature golf, as I predicted.  Then, she informed me that her brother--and she has this incestuous relationship with him that I don't even want to get into--wanted her home at 7:00.  On a Friday!  She's 19!  What the fuck?  In any case, this girl has no libido whatsoever and I just cannot pursue someone if there's no sex involved.  Still...she's so hot.

 

Texas women are overrated, Dames.  Beneath that big blonde hair lies the mentality of a small child, more often than not.

ok, did you slip her alcohol?

Do not use pot. It will make the girl laugh a little and then fall asleep.

What are you attempting to get from her? Sex or relationship?or both?

ah not all of them fall asleep. I've never had a girl fall asleep on me when she was high.

[Guest goodhelmet]

ok, you're not getting sex or relationship. the sex is the easy part. I don't know what your current occupation is. If you're at a dead end job or making less than $400 a week then go apply at any nightclub. work as a barback stocking beer and learn how to bartend. girls will swarm, booze is plenty, and the money is nice for a minimal amount of time involved. And if you're in college, bartending is a great job to have.

 

Now if you want a relationship, do NOT work at a bar. Go to said church with these girls. Pretend you're interested in God's word and then lie your ass off to get in her pants.

 

In the end, they are all sluts anyway. I believe a wise man once said "Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

ah yes the rev. Dre he is a wise man, isn't he?

[Guest evenflowDDT]

In the end, they are all sluts anyway. I believe a wise man once said "Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."

What? That's a terrible thing to say... err... no... must... follow advice of being arrogant.

 

"Damn straight it's true! Stupid ho's who... ummm..."

 

I can't do it.  Do nice guys really ALWAYS finish last? ???

[Guest goodhelmet]

"I can't do it.  Do nice guys really ALWAYS finish last?"

 

It depends what you're looking for. If you're looking for sex, then usually the nice guys wave goodbye to the girl who's going home with the drunken slob who bought her drinks all night. If you're looking for a relationship, then you might find someone by being nice. i guess it's just the circumstances. But I've observed a lot of fucked up shit and I wouldn't trust any woman as far as I could stretch my arm out. I've been burned, i've had friends that have been burned, and i've slept with women who were cheating on their husbands. Do not trust women!! trust them as much as you trust yourself and if you think, as a man, you can turn down a free piece of ass begging for you then you have a stronger will than i do.

[Guest muzanisa]

On the subject of Church.

 

I was out on the piss one night when I hooked up with a bunch of Australians who took me to a pub in Kings Cross called the back packers. It was very Bacchanalian and I ended up pulling this rather hot Aussie bird.

At the end of the night I'm about to get in a cab to get her back to her place when she says I can sleep over and tomorrow we can both go to Church.

I pretended I left something in the pub and tracked down my mates. When I told them what had happened they started laughing and informed me that the Church was a club that runs 11- 3 on Sundays and features strippers, Aussie Rock, much drinking and is attended by every young antipodean in London.  

Thankfully by the time I got back she was still there and we ended up having a nice six week realationship that ended when she went to Europe.

 

Nice guys are always seen as friends. Be a bit of a bastard. Or move out I lived in the Suburbs and moved to London when I went to University. Cities are always great especially if you are peculiar because that's were all the peculiar people go.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Don't slip a girl alcohol. That's date rap. If she drinks it of her own volition, you might have a different story.

 

Pinnacleofallthingsmanly-Stealing the Dames' gimmick.

[Guest]

nooooooooo.date rap is like lls aroundthe way girll

[Guest redbaron51]

One thing is.

 

Do not go out with a minister's daughter. Very bad experiance. For me anyways.

[Guest muzanisa]

Went out with a very religous girl once. meant to meet here once and she didn't show up till the next day. when I asked her why she said she'd been at a church picnic. I asked her if they'd had loaves and fishes? and that was the last time I ever saw her.