SJL Metal Card, May 8th

[Guest crusen86]

SJL Metal Card

Jew Date: 3pm Wednesday BT

Arena: The Drome, Springfield, Some State

 

SEND EVERYTHING TO THE SUICIDE KING! He will be posting Metal, and the Crimson card. If Edwin or myself get anything, we'll kill you.

 

Singles Match - Send to Thoth

Ced Ordonez vs. Mafia

- A main event calibre match opens the card. Why? Because I'm evil. Mauahaha!

- Word Limit: 4500

 

Singles Match - Send to Longdogger_Pete

Scott Reid vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

- Two newbies face up...

- Word Limit: 3000

 

Handicap Match - Send to Suicide King

Insane Luchador/Poisyn vs. Cutthroat

- Cutthroat wanted a handicap match. He gets one. Good luck mate.

- Word Limit: 3500

 

European Title #1 Contendership Match - Send to Grand Slam

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Frost

- Two extremely promising men, one the TV champion, go at it in order to gain a shot at the European title. Will Frost piledrive someone else through a window?

- Word Limit: 4000

 

European Title Match - Send to Grand Slam

"Deathwish" Danny Williams © vs. Tod deKindes

- These two men have been on each other for a few weeks now, and it's all about to come to head. Will Williams be able to keep his title against a fired up deKindes?

- Word Limit: 4500

 

Singles Match - Send to Longdogger_Pete

Z vs. Flexxx

- The SJLers with members late in the alphabet collide? Why? Because watching XF9 get bashed is always fun.

- Word Limit: 4000

 

Triple Threat Match - Send to Thoth

Jacob Helmsley vs. Sydney Sky vs. Xero

- Three of the SJL's oldest members come together to hammer each other. Jake and Sydney still have some unfinished business from Crimson, with Jake's mystery man, GoldenEye, making an appearence. Will he do the same thing here? The winner here could find themselves in line for a title shot...

- Word Limit: 5000

 

World Title Match - Send to Suicide King

Tom Flesher © vs. Ash Ketchum

- Flesher reckons he can beat the entire SJL at once. But eh. Instead, he gets Ash Ketchum, the titles #1 contender. Will Ash finally grab that elusive piece of gold, or will Flesher prove to be a strong champion?

- Word Limit: 6000

[Guest midnight_burn]

Looks like a very nice card, some sure to be great matches that i'll have to read.

[Guest]

I'm looking forward to my first match that I'll probably start tomorrow. I've already got a promo ready so...

 

'Tis time for sleep.

[Guest]

Dude! That card like, reeks of awsomeness! It's the first time in a long time the JL has had a Handicap Match. Cool...

[Guest Suicide King]

Rock on!  Prepare for mass evil, children!

[Guest redbaron51]

non elimination is it

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Good card....but now for some bad news.

 

I am sorry, but I will not be able to mark matches for Wednesday.  I am moving back home, and will be on the road all day on Wednesday driving from New Orleans to DC.  So, hopefully Edwin or Crusen see this and makes the changes, or the show will be incredibly late.  I've PMed them as well.

 

Also, I regret to inform everyone that I will not able to mark any more JL matches until further notice.  I will keep the reasons disclosed but let's just attribute them too me moving home and not having as much time on my hands.  So, sorry Crusen, Edwin, and King...and I'll let you know when and if I can mark again.

 

Da "sad to leave the JLers alone with King" H

[Guest hhh6294]

Jake's mystery man is Fredrick Hallbrook, GoldenEye's BROTHER, Crusen.

 

PS- New Jake stats coming up soon.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Your new marker for Wednesday, the Heavy Hitter himself, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!  His board name is Grand Slam, and he is wise and wisdom-y and stuff.  So, there ya go!  Crisis averted!

[Guest hhh6294]

*~* Jacob wipes his brow *~*

 

damn... that was close!

 

 

 

Anyways... New Jacob stats posted.  Syd... Xero... enjoy.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Heh heh.  Does anyone else think it's kinda funny that we have one new guy who calls himself "The Franchise" and another new guy who uses a finisher called "The Pittsburgh Plunge"?  It's like Shane Douglas reproduced through budding and wander his single-celled self over to our board!

[Guest DiabloIIFreak1010]

Nice card.

 

Oh, and Tom, clear your PMs. I sent you one, but I don't think you got it.

[Guest redbaron51]

Heh heh.  Does anyone else think it's kinda funny that we have one new guy who calls himself "The Franchise" and another new guy who uses a finisher called "The Pittsburgh Plunge"?  It's like Shane Douglas reproduced through budding and wander his single-celled self over to our board!

Stone Froze Jack Houston, or the Brahama Bull copies?

[Guest]

Hey IL or Posyin or whatever. Do you two come in together or seprate? I just wanna know...

[Guest DiabloIIFreak1010]

Seprate, 'Throat. The match is under tag team rules.

[Guest]

Heh heh.  Does anyone else think it's kinda funny that we have one new guy who calls himself "The Franchise" and another new guy who uses a finisher called "The Pittsburgh Plunge"?  It's like Shane Douglas reproduced through budding and wander his single-celled self over to our board!

Pittsgurgh Pride, baby... and it was the only gimmick-fitting thing I could think of.

 

Shane does so totally rock though. Too bad guys like HHH and Austin take stuff from him all the time. He was the first real badass IMO.

 

Anyone remember the Promo he cut after winning the NWA title? Changed ECW forever...

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Hehe, just now writing my match and I noticed the location. Go Simpsons! To this very day no one is quite certain of which Springfield America's most disfunctional family lives in.

[Guest Thoth]

Since I didn't do this before because Xero actually showed:

 

If ANYONE no-shows ANY of my matches without a REAL GOOD excuse (Read: Injury or death), I will write a promo where you get on a bus and go to California.  Fill in the rest.

 

Do you know why I'm doing this?  Because I want to.  And I can.  Be good little children and write write write!

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Thoth, you really, really want to write the bus promo, don't you?

[Guest redbaron51]

I'm such a bastard 8)

[Guest]

My matach is under tag team rules, right?

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Matach? We're putting Cutthroat in Klingon death rituals now?

[Guest]

No, not Klingon death rituals, Borg death rituals! FEAR THE BORG!!

[Guest]

Fucking Trekkies...each and every one of yous...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Temba, his arms wide.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

'Throat, you ignorant slut. Borg don't do rituals. They will add your technological and biological distinctiveness to their own. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

 

Beeotch.

 

And Darmok to you, Edwin.

[Guest]

So is my matach is under tag team rules?

[Guest Ace309]

*ahem*

 

Cutthroat.

 

When's the last time you saw a handicap match that wasn't, at least in THEORY, under tag team rules?

 

Even Big Show's squashes of otherwise credible athletes start off as tag-teaming affairs, until he double-chokeslams them.

 

OF COURSE it's under tag team rules.

 

And don't ask about the TKO. Please.

[Guest Thoth]

Addendum: If I am forced to write the promo previously described, I will include Cutthroat, because he has earned the status of "über-fucktard."  Thank you.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

*notes that he doesn't have to mark*

 

*leaves thread*