Storm Matches Of Non-Winning

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

Any help would be appreciated... This is a tandem TEAM ANGER~! effort, so... Yeah... I'm lightly snarked we didn't win, because I thought this was pretty good... But, a little constructive criticism never hurt, I suppose.

 

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As SWF Storm comes back from commercial, we sweep the confines of the arena as the thousands of Irish residents in attendance go wild, waving signs, posters, and the like as the camera finally comes to rest at the announcers table as Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley are shown to the worldwide audience while the crowd behinds them go mad.

 

Cyclone begins to speak, hyperactive and full of life as usual, “Welcome back fellow citizens to S…W…F STOOOOORM~! We’ve had an exciting show so far, and it’s about to get even better as now it’s time for the huge battle royal to determine the number one seeding for the Cold Front Tournament!”

 

“Can’t they just give it to Max King or Spike or somebody,” asks a whining Riley. “I mean, why should they have to fight through a few schleps when we all know one of them is going to win the damn tournament anyway?”

 

“That is why we have the matches, Robert. After all, who would’ve predicted the flurry of World Title changes earlier this year or even the rise of Toxxic?”

 

“Bah, one in a million chances them all. After all, Toxxic and his skills would’ve been recognized soon enough in the SJL -”

 

“- after beating Tokyo X 247 times.”

 

“Like his first few weeks in the SWF was that much different?”

 

“Hmm…you have a point Robert. Anyway, as I was saying, who knows who will have the momentum after this match, could it be a dark horse like Danny Dagda, a veteran such as Manson, or even a returning legend like Sacred? We’ll know soon enough as Funyon is in the ring, ready to go.” As the arena goes dark, save the entranceway and ring being spotlighted, Funyon waits for a moment for the crowd noise to die down, and then the dapper announcer begins,

 

“The following match will be held under battle royal rules and the winner will be the number one seed in Cold Front Classic Tournament!” Smattering of cheers for this, as no one really knows what the tournament is, aside from the fact that the winner will face the World Champion.

 

“The first man in the battle royal…” Slight pause and then the sound of boos as Manson comes out.

 

“…he is MANSON!” Manson salutes the booing crowd, and then goes into a corner, awaiting his opponents.

 

“One of his opponents…” The cheers start up as “Breathe” does and Todd Cortez jogs to the ring.

 

“…he is the current USJL champion…”The Urban Legend” Todd Coooortez!” Cortez gets in the ring, avoiding Manson as he plays to the cheering crowd a bit. Immediately the crashing guitars of 'Battle Ready' by Otep kick in as Spike Jenkins and Sacred come out, together but in no way a team as they don’t even look at each other one their way down.

 

“…they are members of Revolution Zero…Sacred and the SWF Cruiserweight champion…Spiiiike Jenkins!” Spike plays a little to the booing Irish crowd while Sacred simply gets in the ring, still ignoring his ‘partner’.

 

“Up next…” ‘Superstar’ by Saliva kicks in to a healthy heel pop as ‘The Icon’ Max King walks to the ring, sans Kelly Connelly.

 

“…he is a former ICTV Champion…”THE ICON” MAX KIIIIING!” King saunters down to the ring, arrogant as ever while some fans throws trash, and of course, are immediately beaten about the head and shoulders by security.

 

“Their opponent…” Generic music hits as Danny Dagda comes to the ring to a smattering of boos, and some cheers, from the crowd.

 

“…DANNY DAGDA!” Dagda gets to the ring, yelling at the unappreciative fans, and going right up to Sacred, then Manson, who brush him off. Dagda yells something about “kicking all your bitch asses” then goes to a corner.

 

“Introducing next…” ‘Back on Earth’ hits the PA to a loud response from the Irish SWF fans as they rise to their feet as both Fury and Cross come to the ring, Cross with the tag belt on his shoulder as Fury has his Hardcore belt around his waist and his tag belt around his shoulder.

 

“…they are the SWF Tag Team Champions and one is the Hardcore Gamers Champion…DAVID CROSS and CHRISTIAN FURY!” The cheers grow louder as both men go right into belly of the beast, paying no mind that now they’re outnumbered three to one. Cross hands over his cross and jacket, and both drop their titles.

 

“Finally…” Funyon takes leave of the ring as…

 

“Remember Comet, as soon as Maddix gets in the ring, this match starts up,” notes Riley as the arena goes completely dark.

 

“Which is why Funyon just went down to the floor,” replies Comet. “Our dear Funyon may be a bit of an outlandish dresser, but he’s no fool. The battle will begin immediately as soon as Citizen Maddix enters the fray.”

 

“That’s what I just said!”

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

The post-riff part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps Landon Maddix, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side as the lights return back to normal. ICTV title belt around his waist, Landon jaw jacking with fans on the way down the ramp as he goes.

 

“…he is the current ICTV champion…LANDON MADDIX!” Landon has a little grin as he does a little pacing around the ring, before jumping on the apron, then flipping himself in the ring as the carnage begins…

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The carnage begins right away as King goes over to meet up with Landon, Manson rushes Dagda, and Sacred and Spike turn toward the tag champions. ‘The Urban Legend’ goes over to cut off King at the pass, but is blocked by Dagda and Manson trading right hands with the long-time SWF veteran gaining the early benefit. Lashing out a little, throw a quick palm strike at Dagda, slowing him even more, than follows that up by launching an unsuspecting Manson to the mat with a quick sweep kick.

 

“The action is hot and heavy early Robert, as all nine men know what a win here would mean,” says Comet as the brawling continues inside the ring. “None of these men are willing to back down with a chance at the World Title on the line.”

 

“They all have a shot at the title irregardless,” replies Riley. “The winner will just, have an easier time of it. So, someone like Manson or Sacred will have an even larger advantage!”

 

“I do believe someone like Landon Maddix or David Cross would think different, that perhaps they have the shot for glory.”

 

“Well, that’s why they are them, and I’m me.”

 

“You mean, beside the obvious skill differences?”

 

“Comet, thank you. I realize we’ve been working beside each -”

 

“Robert, I meant how they had more than you.”

 

“Idiot clown.” Back in the ring, Cross and Sacred trade strikes with the SWF legend gaining the early leverage, following those strikes up with a quick knee and then a throw in to the corner to knock the wind out of The Fallen Angel. Spike, on the other hand, is nailed quickly by several chops... Then a big knuckle right to the temple, sending him spiraling back into…Todd Cortez! Cortez, not happy by the intrusion of his and Dagda’s fight, lashes out at Spike, knocking him dizzy with a spin wheel kick, then knocking him down to the mat with a nasty snap enzuigiri to the cheers of the Dublin crowd!

 

“Citizen Spike is not having a good day as of yet,” says Comet as Jenkins turns back to Dagda, who is on the mat. “On the other hand, the newest recruit to Revolution Zero is dominating David Cross!”

 

“Peaks and valleys, Comet. Peaks and Valleys,” replies Riley. “Spike is just biding his time until he can get rid of that wacko Fury and actually concentrates on someone worth a damn.”

 

“Why not the man who is kicking him from pillar to post?”

 

“It’s a plan; Spike wouldn’t just go out there and get his ass kicked for no reason.”

 

“Are we talking about the same Spike Jenkins?” As Comet and Riley spar, in the ring the battle royal has split into four groups. In group one, Sacred has a modified sleeper hooked on Cross in the corner and beating on him as the man from Oil City attempts to break the hold. Sacred responds by just digging the hold in more as Cross struggles. Meanwhile, Fury and Cortex have changed targets as Fury beats on Dagda with several palm strikes, then drills Danny with a spinning heel kick knocking him into the corner!

 

“Citizen Dagda could be in real big trouble here,” says Comet as the crowd buzzes a little. “He has not had any real offense thus far, and has gotten the stuffing kicked out of him by Citizen Cortez and Fury!”

 

“Well, he’s not the only one getting beaten up in this match! Cross is about out of it and Maddix isn’t looking too hot at the moment,” replies Riley as the camera focus switches to the fact Manson and King are kicking the hell out of a grounded Maddix in the corner as a portion of the crowd boos like mad.

 

“Citizen Maddix is a true warrior though, and he will survive. But, tonight there will only be one survivor.”

 

“Comet, you’re not Jeff Probst. It’s a battle royal, not a reality show.” As previously mentioned, ‘The Icon’ and Manson are beating the hell out of Maddix in the corner. They finally drag him to his feet as the crowd continues to boo the duo, as Manson hits a devastating high knee of Maddix, followed by King taking him down to the mat with a lifting DDT!

 

“Citizen Maddix has to go into his resolve to continue fighting or those two dangerous men will take him apart,” says Comet.

 

“Will? It seems they’re already in that process.” On the other side of the ring, Spike and Todd trade strikes, attacking each other with wild abandon, taking no quarter. Cortez drills Spike with a few shots in a row, then brings a cheering portion of the crowd to their feet with a spin wheel kick, further disabling Jenkins! A quick sweep kick then brings him down to the mat! However as Cortez reaches down to further punish Spike, the Cruiser Champ shows his craftiness by temporarily blinding Cortez with an eye poke, then taking Cortez to the mat with a quick dropkick to the knee as Todd is temporarily blinded!

 

“Citizen Jenkins should be ashamed of himself for using underhanded tactics such as that,” says Comet as Spike lays in a few kicks to the fallen Urban Legend.

 

“Just win, baby,” replies Riley. “After all, imagine the buy rates for RevZero versus RevZero. It’ll be a license to print money.”

 

“I do think the SWF faithful would rather have a hero with virtue such as Citizen Cross or Cortez rather than two stable mates fighting each other. After all, while evil fighting evil can be entertaining, good triumphing over evil is truly wonderful.”

 

“Comet, no one is going to triumph over Toxxic anytime soon.” Back near the ropes, Sacred has gone from a modified sleeper to a simple chinlock, but Cross is fighting it. He’s sweating as fighting off Sacred’s attempts at knocking him out started from the very beginning. The Fallen Angel attempts to stand up, but the former US Champion simply grinds down holder, adding in a bit of a quasi-legal choke to get the section of the fans watching this battle vocal in their boos. After a moment though, Sacred releases the hold, kicking Cross a few more times, then stepping back, before rushing the fallen co-holder of the tag belts and delivering a nasty knee drop right to his skull! Sacred pulls up Cross and after a quick kick to the gut is able to get Cross over in a huge suplex that rattles the ring and brings the fans to their feet in a display of hate for the newest member of Revolution Zero. Sacred simply smirks a little as he continues his onslaught on Cross, driving his feet right into the expansive chest of the Fallen Angel with a series of nasty kicks!

 

“Citizen Cross has to do something to stop this onslaught or like Dagda, he will soon be out of the ring!” Comet says this as Sacred brings Cross back to his feet, before dropping him back to the mat with a brutal, quick DDT!

 

“You say that like getting those two losers out of the ring would be a bad thing?” replies Riley. “I mean, get Fury and Cortez out too and maybe, this could turn out to be a decent battle royal!”

 

“Only because in your eyes, the ring would be filled with villainy of all sorts.”

 

“Well…exactly. Those are the wrestlers who know what to do and how to do it.” Back in the ring, Dagda has finally shown some signs of life, blocking a Fury suplex and slipping behind Christian. Dagda then rings the Hardcore champ’s bell by picking him up and over and dropping him to the mat with a huge back suplex! Danny goes to continue his assault, but as he pulls up Fury and drives a boot into his gut…Fury blocks it! Christian spins Danny around, then as the crowd buzzes, takes Dagda down to the mat with a huge bulldog! Then, Fury picks up Dagda, locks him in from behind and…

 

“…TIGER SUPLEX BY FURY!” screams Comet as the crowd pops huge! “Citizen Fury just tossed Dagda right out of this match on to the hard, unforgiving concrete floor!”

 

“Lucky break,” scoffs Riley while the crowd continues to cheer Fury. “Let’s see him do that to King or Sacred.”

 

“He might very well do that soon Robert,” replies Comet. “After all, there are still seven men left who will lose this match.”

 

ELIMINATED: DANNY DAGDA by CHRISTIAN FURY

 

Fury immediately turns to King and Manson, who turn from beating on Landon even more and head toward Christian! The Hardcore champ goes in, both barrels blazing knocking King back with a big right hand, followed by one for Manson. King attempts to attack again, but Landon wraps his arms around ‘The Icon’s’ leg and keeps him there. Taking the moment of advantage while he can, Fury drills Manson with a right hand, then takes a step back and drills him with a short arm lariat that causes Manson to fall back toward the center of the ring.

 

“Christian Fury is a man on fire right now,” says Comet as the crowd cheers like maniacs.

 

“Yeah, let him expend all his energy right now,” replies a still confident Riley. “By the end of the match, he’ll be bled dry and everyone else will still have plenty of gas.”

 

“In theory, Robert. But true heroes and warriors can fight on for justice longer than they should by any measure of a mortal man!” As Fury and Manson brawl, and Maddix takes King down to the mat with an Oklahoma Roll, Spike Jenkins continues his back and forth with the Urban Legend by having his attempt at a Hotshot, be blocked and turned into a huge single arm DDT by Cortez! As the crowd comes alive for the Urban Legend, he immediately goes for a sweep kick, but Jenkins recovers as he stands and delivers a nasty palm strike to Cortez! Cortez is stunned for a moment, but blocks the next attempt by Spike, and sends him up, over, and down to the mat with a quick judo throw!

 

“Citizen Jenkins and Cortez are showing that they have no level of even respect for each other as they are just trying to knock the other man out of commission,” Comet says as Cortez unleashes a brief flurry of elbows to Jenkins as he stands.

 

“Well, Jenkins is a successful Cruiserweight wrestler. Cortez is MVS-lite, his little lackey. Why wouldn’t Spike want to get rid of him once and for all?”

 

“It truly pains me to see your break between reality and your fantasy, Robert. It truly does.”

 

“What are you talking about? I mean, Spike is a better man and wrestler. It’s not like I’m saying Tom is really retired or something silly like that.”

 

“Um, Robert, Tom is -”

 

“Lalala. Not listening.” While Maddix and King roll around in one corner of the ring trading shots, Cross finally gets out of Sacred’s grip to deliver a few right hands… Mostly thanks to Fury saving him from a piledriver by Sacred! Meanwhile, Cortez brings the Dublin crowd to its feet by drilling Jenkins with a huge hurricanana, then from the corner whips Spike hard into the other side! The former tag champion, charges does the parry, then the turn, and the final explosion of power that comes with a handspring elbow, only Spike moves to the side and Cortez only hits turnbuckle to the deflation of the SWF faithful! With a grin, Spike kicks Cortez in the gut, backs up for a moment, then…

 

“..LAST DANCE BY ‘HOLLYWOOD’ SENDS CITIZEN CORTEZ TO THE FLOOR!” screams Comet as the capacity crowd boos the elimination of one of their favored wrestlers.

 

“Jenkins just outsmarted the punk,” says Riley. “He let him get too confident, then pulled the rug out from under like him like the talented tactician he is.”

 

“You truly are drinking the RevZero Kool-Aid Robert if the words ‘tactician’ and ‘Spike Jenkins’ are in the same sentence. Like you’ve said about so many wrestlers, Spike got lucky and moved out of the way at the opportune moment. Nothing more and nothing less.”

 

“Don’t get mad at me because Cortez is out on the floor, Comet.”

 

ELIMINATED: TODD CORTEZ by SPIKE JENKINS

 

Back in the ring, Maddix is back on his feet for the first time in what seems like forever. Unfortunately, it is because Max King has him in position for the jumping piledriver! However, Landon blocks the first attempt and simply backdrops King up and over to the mat on the second attempt! Maddix then springs off the ropes and nails King with a huge Shining Wizard as he attempts to get up to his feet! Maddix then goes back to the ropes and jumps, and drills King, rolling through the move and rising to his feet as the fans in Dublin go mad!

 

“He has to be cheating,” says Riley as Maddix as he continues his assault on King in the ring. “Manson and King took him apart earlier today. He has to be cheating or something, it’s the only explanation.”

 

“Or perhaps,” begins Comet. “He simply had a larger heart and more of a backlog of will than other men?”

 

“Nah. He’s cheating.” While Manson and Fury trade hold and moves in one corner, pounding each other with all the power of a Hardcore match (only without the weapons involved), Spike and Sacred have Cross locked in a corner and are commencing the beatdown. Sacred pulls Cross up and holds him up as Spike sets back for a moment, and executes The Last Dance super kick again. There's only one slight problem…

 

“…SPIKE HIT SACRED! SPIKE HIT SACRED!” screams Comet as Sacred falls to the ground and Jenkins jaw drops in shock. “Things have taken a horrible turn for Revolution Zero!”

 

“Recover, you fools!” explains Riley. “Take out the goof in black, and then worry about attacking each other!”

 

“Worried a bit?” asks a curious Comet.

 

“Of course not,” replies Riley, his voice still a bit unsteady. “Spike can still take care of Cross no problem.” Cross gets back to his feet quickly as Sacred has troubles getting to his feet. Bad news for Jenkins, as he rushes Cross only to be drilled with a big forearm! The Oil City native then follows that up with another one, finishing things off with a kick to the gut and huge gutwrench suplex into the ropes! As the fans go wild, Cross delivers a quick kick to the sternum of Jenkins, wraps him up and lifts him up for a moment, before dropping him to the mat with a neck-rattling Exploder Suplex that rocks the ring!

 

“C’mon Spike, remember what Toxxic taught you. Be a bastard, and win this thing!”

 

“Still not worried?”

 

“He got as few moves in,” replies Riley. “It was bound to happen. After all, the goof has lucked into three title reigns so far in the SWF.” Cross rises his fist to the cheering crowd, while Sacred gets up, and decides that winning is the better part of valor and heads over to the war between Manson and Fury, charging both men! That allows Cross to simply pull Jenkins up, rear back, and drill Spike with a huge elbow to the forehead! Jenkins is rocked back, and is then kicked in the gut by Cross and brought up to a power bomb position. Finally, Spike remembers who he is, and claws and scratches at The Fallen Angel’s face to get Cross to drop the power bomb!

 

“See, told you,” says Riley as Jenkins brings Cross to the mat with a low blow!

 

“I somehow fail to think that Citizen Cross is finished now,” replies Comet. Meanwhile, King and Maddix trade holds on the other side of the ring and the triumvirate of Fury-Manson-Sacred trade shots at each other.

 

“He still has a warrior’s heart in him.”

 

“It doesn’t matter if he has freakin’ Conan’s heart in him, it’s all over but the crying for Cross. Jenkins is going to take him out right now!” On one side of the ring, Fury and Manson have decided that Sacred is the bigger threat and have teamed up, attacking him in the corner as the crowd continues to cheer and boo the matchups as they change all over the ring. Also, ‘The Icon’ is on a bit of a run as he hit’s a few elbows, followed by a sternum buster on Maddix, then attempts a reverse DDT, but Maddix flips through up and over and lands on his feet! In shock, King is easy pickings for a Hurri-Lanrana, then a nasty Dropsault to the cheers of the capacity crowd.

 

“Citizen Maddix and King have not stopped fighting since moment one of this battle royal,” says Comet as the crowd cheers on Landon.

 

“Good, easier for Maddix to be easy pickings for whoever is left at the end.” On the other side of the ring, Jenkins makes the most of his moment of advantage by locking Cross in and taking him to the mat with a STO… At the same moment, Landon makes his comeback. While the ring shakes and the crowd goes wild, Spike takes a step back and drills Cross once in the chest as he rises, then again in the chest on The Fallen Angel as David looks to be out of it.

 

“Time to finish the goof off,” screams Riley as Jenkins grins a little and takes a step back.

 

Jenkins then goes for the proverbial knockout blow, but as he goes for it, Cross ducks under the kick, and then stands up to the cheers of the Dublin crowd! Cross then ducks a wild strike attempt by Jenkins and nails him in the back of the head with a lariat! Jenkins goes end over end to the mat with a crash. Cross then locks an ‘out of it’ Jenkins in a waistlock, takes a step back, picks Jenkins and throws him up and over with a…

 

“…GERMAN SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE BY CITIZEN CROSS!” screams Comet as Jenkins lands the hard way, on his neck and back as Dublin goes mad for The Fallen Angel! “Spike Jenkins is the third man eliminated, and we are down to six to go tonight!”

 

“OK, so he got lucky,” replies Riley. “Spike got a little overconfident there, but it happens. Someone will take care of this soon enough.”

 

“Well, it seems that everyone is in a bit of a spot, Robert.”

 

“Manson will come to his senses and knife Fury in the back, Cross is a goof, and Maddix is simply not going to win tonight. Simply not happening.”

 

ELIMINATED: SPIKE JENKINS by DAVID CROSS

 

After a moment of watching Spike complain to the referees, Cross turns back and joins the fray, going after Sacred. He delivers a devastating forearm shiver, then another one. Fury turns to Manson, only to get a low roundhouse kick for his troubles!

 

“I knew it would happen,” says a joyful Riley as Manson moves toward Fury. Stunned, Fury falls quickly to a high knee, then a cyclone elbow knocking him into the middle of the ring, stumbling as Cross and Sacred trade shots near the ropes! Manson moves toward Fury as Maddix and King tussle in the other corner, trading chops and punches to no real effect to each other. Christian tries a defensive kick, but Manson deftly ducks and then locks Fury in and drills him to the mat with a quick Northern Lights Suplex with no bridge!

 

“Six men, all fighting one another for a chance at the richest prize in this business!” Comet says with a hint of overzealousness as the three duos brawl in their respective areas.

 

“Soon to be three men, Sacred, The Icon, and Mansonosity himself! From then, maybe they can play ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ to see who loses to Toxxic.”

 

“I believe any of these men would take the chance to be the number one seed and have the best shot to beat Toxxic with no worries or regrets,” replies Comet. “After all, I somehow doubt a master manipulator like Sacred is really concerned about Toxxic being his stable leader.”

 

“But he doesn’t want issues with other stable members before that possible match.”

 

“What conflicts? Robert, do you honestly believe a SWF superstar like Sacred really cares what Spike Jenkins of all people has to think about him?” In the ring, Landon is taking the advantage over King, attacking him with chops, strikes, and finishing things off with a flourish called a shotei! King stumbles back as on the other side of the ring, Cross has the advantage on Sacred sending him to the mat with a sweep kick! Then, Maddix follow things up on his end with a picture-perfect wheel kick into the back of King’s head! As King stumbles around, Landon finishes things off with a Shining Wizard as the same time Fury brings Manson down to the mat with a huge spinning heel kick right to Manson’s skull!

 

“What a battle we have between these six men, not giving an inch against each other!” screams Comet as Sacred hits a low blow as Cross attempts a brain buster.

 

“Soon, soon, we’re going to find out the winner. Cross and the rest are running out of time.”

 

“It could be, Robert, that Sacred is running out of that precious time.”

 

“Nah.” With Manson down and out on the mat, Fury turns around to see his partner in trouble and charges. Sacred never sees Fury coming as he picks up the nearly three hundred-pound Fallen Angel and is dropped to the ground with a mighty Gore as the crowd goes mad! Maddix gets in another shotei on King that sends him into the ropes all while Cross recovers and Fury brings Sacred to his feet. As the crowd continues to cheer, Cross and Fury both grab a leg and pick up Sacred and…

 

“…the tag team champions of the world have just eliminated Sacred!” Comet says while the crowd continues to go wild as Manson gets to his feet.

 

“I can’t believe this, how can those two broody SOBs be so damn lucky?”

 

“Perhaps Robert, it is because they have the courage of true warriors?”

 

“Like I just said, they’re just luck. Sooner or later, that luck has to run out.”

 

ELIMINATED: SACRED by DAVID CROSS & CHRISTIAN FURY

 

As Cross and Fury bump fists, Landon runs through the second ropes, spins around and drop kicks King right in the face with the 608! The crowd continues to buzz as Landon then nails an off-balance King with another “Maddixrana or whatever the hell it is,” that call courtesy of Bobby Riley. Seeing his moment at hand, Landon drills King again in the stomach, and finish things off with the Landon Eye absolutely sending King hard to the mat! With the sound of thousands behind him, Maddix picks up King and goes to toss him over the ropes, but King fights back with wild right hands, trying to stop the inevitable. Finally, Landon gets him out and over, but…

 

“…MANSON FROM NOWHERE! HE KNOCKED LANDON OVER THE TOP RIGHT ON TOP OF MAX KING! BOTH MEN ARE OUT!” Comet goes mad as Manson drills Landon in the back of the head out of nowhere knocking Maddix out of the ring, as neither man saw Manson charging and the tag champs were simply too late.

 

ELIMINATED: MAX KING by LANDON MADDIX

ELIMINATED: LANDON MADDIX by MANSON

 

Manson raises his hands, an evil glint in his eyes and turns around… Right into David Cross and Christian Fury.

 

“Uh-oh,” Comet utters as the crowd ignites. “This could turn out very badly for Manson.”

 

“Meh,” Riley retorts. “Manson could take them both with both hands tied behind his back!” Meanwhile, Manson backs slowly away from TEAM ANGER~!, putting his hands up in a defensive manner. The crowd just eats it up, getting behind Cross and Fury that much more!

 

“You were saying, Bobby?” Just then, as David and Chris take a split second to look at each other, trying to figure out what to do… Manson simply EXPLODES out of the blocks, leveling a HUGE double clothesline right through the Tag Champs! The crowd goes inverse of their previous mood as Manson flexes for them!

 

“I was saying,” Riley says proudly, “that Manson can handle these two goofs easily.” Cross and Fury scramble to their feet as Manson turns back towards them… Looking at them with a seriousness that’d be startling to most... Except for Fury and Cross, whom ready themselves, hunkering down slightly, striking vaguely martial-art poses…

 

“Why do I hear John Williams in my head?” Comet inquires.

 

“Who?”

 

“You know, the guy that does the…” Suddenly, the crowd lights up as Fury and Cross both charge at Manson! They level punches and kicks at Manson… Somehow, someway, Manson either just ducks out of the way, just blocks, or just reverses the blows. The trio slowly weaves around the ring, Manson still quite on the defensive, but handling it quite well… Even getting his own small bits of offense in on occasion, but Fury and Cross are just as skilled in defending themselves as Manson seems to be.

 

“Why does this seem oddly familiar to me?” Riley muses as Manson gets himself backed into the corner… The crowd cheers as Cross and Fury close for the kill…

 

“Like I said Bobby,” Comet responds, “Somehow they’re all playing out that scene from…” The crowd suddenly rocks into a chorus of boos and hisses as Manson levels Fury down with a clothesline, just escaping out of the corner as a Cross spinning kick caves in the patch of air where Manson’s head just was. Cross advances on Manson still, firing off fists and kicks that Manson dekes and reverses, but nothing that he can take advantage of as Fury re-enters the fray.

 

“Scene from what, Comet? What movie?” Before Comet can respond the crowd fires up as Fury and Cross step back, both launching kicks to their respective sides of Manson’s head…

 

However, Manson catches them both, a grimly determined expression on his face.

 

“Oh yeah,” Comet utters, this time managing to be heard over the crowd. “That cinches it… They’re definitely going for the whole…” The crowd’s heat suddenly kicks up another notch and drowns Comet out… The reason being that Manson fixes his focus on Cross, grabbing his leg with both hands, falling, twisting, and taking the Oil City native down with a vicious Dragon Screw! Manson springs back up as Fury advances, Cross being temporarily out of the picture.

 

“And Cross is out of the picture!” Riley chortles. “The youth has been eliminated from Team Drama, and now Manson’s gonna maul Fury!” Fury fights Manson back towards the corner, but isn’t able to get a good shot in yet as the superstar from the Mile High has a seemingly impenetrable defense.

 

“Wait…” Again, we hear Riley… “Manson’s gonna maul Fury… I get it! Comet, I get it!’

 

“So you agree?”

 

“So far, but doesn’t that mean…” The crowd starts to rally once more as Cross struggles to his feet, his leg obviously bothering him after that Dragon Screw. Fury does now have Manson backed into the corner, trying to get the upper hand… Suddenly, Manson lances out, catching the red-headed Clevelander under the chin with a hard throat chop… Fury staggers back away from the corner, giving Manson some much-needed room… He lashes out with a kick to the gut before Fury can recover, then shoots out of the corner… He spins; locking Fury in the ¾ facelock, then sits out… Hard… The crowd explodes into thermonuclear-style heat as Fury’s chin crunches sickly into Manson’s shoulder… Fury bounces back hard, and both men wind up flat on their backs on the mat… Fury motionless, and Manson rising to a stand, a twisted smile on his lips as he eyes Cross across the ring.

 

“Oh no!” Comet shouts, albeit a little overdramatically and maybe a bit… Sarcastically? “Manson has pretty much killed Fury with the ‘Consequences’ finisher!”

 

“There’s one step,” Riley mutters. “But the next step isn’t going to happen!”

 

“Come now Bobby,” Comet chuckles. “Even in the movie, good wound up winning out.”

 

“Well… At least Cross spared us the overdramatic ‘NOOOOOOOOOO!’”

 

“I’ll agree there.” Cross’ face twists into an expression of impassioned anger as he leaps forward in a charge. The crowd goes full-bore behind Cross as fisticuffs are thrown, blocked, and reversed for several moments. Then, after a particularly violent-looking double reversal, both men spin away from each other, glaring at one another, trying to figure out the next phase of attack.

 

“Now that was totally unnecessary.”

 

“I agree, Comet.” Suddenly, both men charge in at each other again… Locking up, reversing, re-reversing, trying to punch and kick to the upper hand… Suddenly Manson lances out with a forearm shiver to Cross’ neck… With the boos behind him, and with his opponent staggered, he latches onto Cross' arm, slinging him into the ropes… And with a burst of speed himself, the boot comes up high…

 

And LEVELS Cross to the canvas with the ol’ Yakuza Kick!

 

“Citizen Cross completely floored with the boot to the head!” The crowd boos hard as Manson flexes again for the hostile crowd.

 

“Don’t showboat you fruit loop! Dump him out!” Manson hauls Cross to his feet, dragging him over by the ropes… Then planting him in the headscissors!

 

“Oh no… Manson looking to make a statement here and now, but can he get Citizen Cross up?” Manson answers that question, lacing his arms around Cross’ waist… And slowly… Lifting… Cross… Up… But suddenly Cross' feet come back down to the mat! Manson couldn’t bring him all the way, and his fatigue from battling early in the match becomes a factor! The crowd explodes as Cross gets his feet firmly planted to the mat, and with a quick double shot under Manson’s chin extracts himself from the headscissors. He breaks his opponent’s hold with quick shots to his arms, and then yanks on one of those arms hard to spin Manson around! He stops Manson by getting him in a waistlock… The crowd ignites!

 

“Can he do it? Can Citizen Cross do it for the second time tonight???”

 

“No, no, no, no…” Suddenly Cross lifts up hard, sending Manson up…

 

And…

 

Over the ropes as the German Suplex is released!

 

“NO!” Riley’s lament is barely heard as the crowd goes into utter madness once Manson hits the ground outside the ring!

 

ELIMINATED: MANSON by DAVID CROSS

 

“Good has triumphed! Citizens Cross and Fury are the last ones standing!”

 

“Ah, but lest you forget, you caped jackass… Fury isn’t really standing, and besides. There can be only one!”

 

“The movie allusions continue, but you make a good point… What’s going to happen now?” Cross makes his way over to the far side of the ring, where Fury has finally, groggily made it to a sitting position. He looks up, seeing Cross standing over him… Cross nods, and gives Fury a quick smile. Fury chuckles, shakes his head, and then holds his fist out in front of him.

 

“What the Hell?” Riley sounds confused, but his play-by-play partner can be heard chuckling. Cross holds out a fist as well, and then both start pumping their fists… The crowd… Well… Some laugh, some boo, some cheer… Very mixed reaction to this way of deciding things between the two tag partners:

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Three! Both fists don’t change.

 

“I don’t believe it!” Riley blurts. “Those fuckers are playing ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ for the #1 seed? Are they mad???”

 

“Weren’t you the one calling for Sacred, Max King, and Manson to do the very same earlier?”

 

“Shut up, Masked Freak!” Meanwhile, back in the ring… The fists pump again…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Three! Both fists resolve themselves into flattened palms.

 

“Well, there’s two ties,” Comet states, doing his play-by-play best. Once more with the fists…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Three! Fury makes his fist into a sideways victory sign…

 

However, Cross still has the fist! Fury smiles ruefully up at his tag partner.

 

“Cross crushed Fury’s scissors with his rock,” Comet says, “But will Fury ask for the best 2 out of three?”

 

“I’m going to go into the ring and crush their rocks soon if this doesn’t stop,” Riley fumes. Cross looks at Fury quizzically, but Fury just shakes his head. With a grin, he grabs the bottom ring rope…

 

And slides himself under! The crowd goes apeshit!

 

“I don’t believe what I’m seeing!” Riley says incredulously.

 

“It’s the utter display of gamesmanship and teamwork, Bobby!”

 

“It’s a couple of pussies that don’t want to fight each other and bruise their fragile egos!”

 

ELIMINATED: CHRISTIAN FURY by … DAVID CROSS’ ROCK?

 

DING! DING! DING! The ring bell marks the match as official, despite the odd ending, and Fury slides back into the ring slowly, and comes to raise his tag mate’s hand high! The crowd is agreeable, cheering madly, despite the anti-climactic ending.

 

“Your winner,” Funyon intones, “And the #1 seed for the Cold Front Classic Tourney… DAVID… CROOOOOSSSSSSSSSS!!!”

 

“And there you have it folks,” Comet calls out. “The Cold Front Classic seeds are set… David Cross, winner of your Battle Royal, is the #1 seed, and receives a bye for Lockdown. Chris Fury pulls the #2 seed, facing a very compelling match against Rev-0 straight-edger Spike Jenkins, your #7 seed. Third-seeded Manson will tussle with the newly-returned and sixth-seeded Sacred. Once again, Landon Maddix and Max King square off, in a matchup of #4 and #5. Moreover, we finish off with #8 seed Todd Cortez and #9 seed Danny Dagda facing off on Lockdown, to see who will go up against David Cross! It’s pure madness, but the Storm isn’t letting up… Next! The mysterious Ghost and the crazy Andrea Montgomery team up to battle the… Odd tandem… Of Austin Sly and Kaine! Stay tuned!”

[Golgo 13 0]

Here's what I was working on. This was my exit order, as I tried to pair up faces and heels for the next round, but eventually I just said 'Fuck it.'

 

---

 

We come back to Storm, where a number of competitors are already present in the ring, including Tag Team Champions David Cross and Christian Fury, Danny Dagda, Max King, Revolution Zero's "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins, current Cruiserweight Champion, Sacred, and USJL Champion "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. All are battling it out early in tonight's main event, the Cold Front Classic Battle Royale! Of course, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley are there to bring it to us.

 

"(Comet) Welcome back to Storm, from Dublin, Ireland, where the the opening match of the Cold Front Classic Tournament is already under way! Whoever wins the battle royale tonight will capture the number one seed in the tournament!"

 

"(Riley) It's obviously a huge advantage to get the number one seed, because whoever wins will receive a first round bye. Personally, I think Manson stands the best chance."

 

"(Comet) Well, nothing came of that at Ashes to Ashes, where the two were set to face off, and I apologize to our fans who were expecting to see that match, but I'm sure Manson and Kibagami will be destined to meet soemtime in the near future, as they still have many issues which need to be settled."

 

In the midst of the assorted battles going on the in the ring, with Danny Dagda and Max King pairing off agaisnt Cross and Fury, and Revolution Zero double teaming Todd Cortez, trying to send him over the top, a voice echoes over the speakers…

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

The post-riff portion of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps Landon Maddix, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side as the fans continue cheering. Landon turns back to the curtains as Megan follows out from the back. They then walk down the ramp, with Landon leading the way, jawjacking with fans on the way down the ramp as he goes.

 

"(Funyon) And down comes Landon Maddix, who defeated Max King at Ashes to Ashes!"

 

Inside the ring, Spike has transitioned toward helping Max King throw Chris Fury over the top, as Landon hands his ICTV Championship to Megan Skye and slides into the ring, immediately hitting Spike with assorted punches. King spots Maddix and goes after him with forearms to the back, saving Fury's hide from a double team for now, as King and Maddix exchange punches. Spike turns back toward Fury, as the house lights drop to black and multi-coloured strobes take their place. "Crusher Destroyer" blasts from the speakers, and the fans immediately begin booing, as Manson rushes down to the ring!

 

"(Comet) And here comes Manson!"

 

"(Riley) Yes!"

 

Manson slides in and Cross throws himself over the top rope, not wanting to face the awesome destructive power of… dun-dun-DUN MANSONOSITY! With one foolish mortal out of his way, Manson turns toward Dagda and delivers an uppercut, knocking him into the tenth row and impaling him on a group of metal chairs! King stupidly hammers Manson's back with a forearm, and MOTHERFUCKING EXPLODES ON CONTACT! Manson nonchalantly gathers up his bloody remains and throws them over the top! Another one goes down!

 

Like his coward of a partner beforehand, Fury throws himself over the top, but not one to let another get away, Manson summons a pair of… LOLLERSKATES~ out of midair! As Fury runs toward the back, Manson chucks them at Fury, and they decapitate him, killing him instantly!

 

"(Comet) Wow! Manson is so awesome! Let's all sacrifice a virgin to him!"

 

"(Riley) I agree, Comet!"

 

Sacred is the next to challenge Manson, managing to land a series of punches, not one to be taken out so easily by Manson's power of instantaneous explosion on contact. However, Manson suddenly shoots FIRE! Out of his FINGERS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Sacred is set aflame, and he stumbles over the top rope, where the referees dig a fire extinguisher from under the ring and put out the fire. Medics head down to take Sacred to the back, passing up Dagda who clings to life, because no one cares about that fucker. But the medic's faces bubble, boil and melt! HOLY FUCK!!

 

Manson cackles, as Maddix also escapes the ring, but Manson calls down lightning from the heavens! He electrocutes Maddix! Maddix also explodes into a million pieces!

 

"(Comet) I wish I were as powerful and all around awesome as Manson!"

 

Spike begs for forgiveness, but Manson has none of it! He simply lifts Spike up by the sides of his head, and squeezes, as if Spike were a ripe fruit! Spike's eyes pop out of his head, he struggles to get free, but soon enough Manson crushes Spike's head as if it were a grape! Blood and brain matter spills all over the ring, as Cortez looks at all the devastation around him, his eyes never before bearing witness to so much might. Cortez is a changed man this night, but only for a few seconds, as Manson punches a hole through his chest, and using his lightning fast reflexes, pulls out his heart! Looking at his still beating heart in Manson's crackling hand, Cortez finally expires. Lifting Cortez up by the hole in his chest, Manson simply tosses him over the ropes, down to the floor!

 

::DING DING!::

 

"Crusher Destroyer" hits, and Manson stands victorious, amidst assorted viscera and blood from those foes he smited on the field of combat tonight.

 

"(Comet) Wow! What a performance! I wish I were like Manson!"

 

"(Riley) Don't we all, Comet. Don't we all…"

 

Copyright 2004 Smartmarks Wrestling Federation

"Spike Sucks"