Guest cobainwasmurdered Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 ::the aWo say goodbye to the divas, take one last swig of beer, and head for the ring::
Guest alfdogg Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 ::CWM looks up and notices that Stacy is massaging him with nunchucks. Suddenly she removes her hair to reveal... ALFDOGG? alfdogg beats down CWM with the chucks, grabs the mic and says, "I respect you, bookerman!" and leaves to prepare for the Rumble.::
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 The Battle Royal is almost finished, and to partly buy me some time, and partly manufacture excitement, I will post small sections of the Battle Royal starting with the next post.
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Video Package played to Survivor's 'Eye Of The Tiger'. Video shows everyone beating the shit out of each other. Ends with a quick edit showing all 29 named entrants, of which the last is AngleSault holding the OAOAST HeavyWeight Championship Belt. Fink-'Ladies and Gentleman it is now time for the 30 Man Battle Royal! Competitors will be eliminated by being thrown over the Top Rope. The Last Man left standing in the ring will then face The OAOAST Champion, AngleSault at "AngleSlam 2002"!' JR-'Get Ready for the Longest And Most Furious Post In OAOAST Today!' Clock:10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0... Brock Lesnar is no.1! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0... EarthQuake is no.2! EarthQuake goes straight for Brock, but Brock spears EarthQuake! Brock Whips EQ but EQ reverses and telegraphs the backdrop. Brock stops, picks EQ up like a GutWrench, and PowerBombs EQ over the top!
Guest evenflowDDT Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 ::evenflowDDT hits the ramp for a few words about the Rumble. evenflowDDT: You know what really bugs me about this whole rumble? The same thing that bothers me about EVERY rumble... people always talking [mimics alfdogg] 'Ooh, I'm gonna throw 29 guys out of the ring and take the title! I'm so tough... blah blah blah!' Give me a break! Ain't nobody EVER thrown 29 guys out of the ring, and nobody ever will! You know why? Because, unless you hit #1 and make it ALL the way to the end, which you'll never do, unless you turned Canadian. Also, you forget that while you're busy throwing [does annoying quotation thing with hands] "29 guys" out of the ring, those same guys are busy tossing each other out and beating you down. Not trying to pick a fight or anything... but be realistic! As for YOU, Sullivan, I don't like to swear, but as for your offer, is that a f*cking joke? After all the sh*t you damned faces have put me through since DAY 1, you want me to HELP you?! I'm not aWo, or Treble Charged, or whatever, but above all, I'm CERTAINLY not going to set myself up for another double-cross. I may be dumb, but I'm not f*cking stupid! I don't even care who wins the rumble, as long as they're not associated with YOU! ::evenflowDDT leaves the stage.::
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0... Edge runs down to the ring and spears Brock! Brock No-Sells and TKO's Edge! Edge is groggy, Brock Hits a Stalling Brainbuster and Edge is Lifeless! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3... Brock signals the TriplePowerBomb, but... Clock ...2-1.0...
Guest Sandman9000 Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 ::Sandman comes out and drags Evenflow to the back, screaming "What are you doing cutting a promo during the Rumble? Besides, we need them versus the aWo?" ::Sandman goes to hunt down Sullivan::
Guest alfdogg Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 evenflowDDT: You know what really bugs me about this whole rumble? The same thing that bothers me about EVERY rumble... people always talking [mimics alfdogg] 'Ooh, I'm gonna throw 29 guys out of the ring and take the title! I'm so tough... blah blah blah!' Give me a break! Ain't nobody EVER thrown 29 guys out of the ring, and nobody ever will! You know why? Because, unless you hit #1 and make it ALL the way to the end, which you'll never do, unless you turned Canadian. Also, you forget that while you're busy throwing [does annoying quotation thing with hands] "29 guys" out of the ring, those same guys are busy tossing each other out and beating you down. Not trying to pick a fight or anything... but be realistic! No shit, sherlock. OK, try this: I'm going to OUTLAST 29 guys in the Rumble. Better?
Guest cobainwasmurdered Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 CWM: Well I AM canadian so there!
Guest Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Sullivan is at the announce position. Watch out for flying wrestler parts.
Guest Sandman9000 Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 No offense, but I think this stuff needs to go in the out-of-character thread. We're kinda poluting our own PPV thread.
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 THERE WILL BE NO PROMOS OR BACKSTAGE SKITS DURING THE RUMBLE PLEASE. A camera zooms to the back and finds no.4 entrant Pennywise dead and head missing! Freddy Kruger is THE REPLACEMENT! FK comes out holding Pennywise's entry number and Head! FK Stunners Brock! Edge rolls out under the ropes and disappears! FK locks on the Figure4! Despite needing to throw Brock over the top. JR-'Looks like MarioLogan has picked another DUD!' Brock reverses the pressure and FK starts to tap. Brock relenquishes the hold and places FK on the top turnbuckle looking for a TopRopeSuplex! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
Guest cobainwasmurdered Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 okay no talking. other than caboose.
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Brock gets distracted by the clock and FK reverses Brock and Suplexes Brock down to the floor eliminating himself as well! JR-'Well thats two of the four dumbest competitors in this Battle Royal Eliminated!' The Soul Survivor comes out and realises he can cut a promo before his next opponent comes out. TSS-'Look who THE SOLE SURVIVOR is at the moment! It's going to be that way at the finish! Because it's my destiny to go to AngleSlam and become the next OAOAST Cham...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Faith No More start to rock and here comes Caboose! JR-'Caboose is no.6, we have two big names in the ring!' Caboose gets a mic from 'Some'where and cuts a promo as well. Caboose-'Dammit TSS you suck!' But just as Caboose makes his way to the ring, AlfDogg jumps Caboose and lays him out with the chair Caboose brought to the arena, AD then 'Pillmanises' Caboose's Head! Caboose is taken away by the EMT's! AlfDogg returns to the back proud of himself.
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Next up is that stupid Hoss Bradshaw. TSS destroys Bradshaw with a devasting array of suplexes until the next man comes out! It's Albert and TSS looks worried for half a second before hitting Albert with a Fallaway Slam, followed by a FISTDROP~!! Bradshaw recovers with a Rising Clothesline and the Hoss' Double Team TSS! Double PowerBomb! DoomsDay Device! Double BaldoBomb! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0
Guest Big Poppa Popick Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 BPP anxiously awaits his entrance...he must help out his buddy TSS
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 It's Chris Benoit Baybee! The IWC's favourite Son enters at no.9 and goes after the Hoss'! Chops All Round! TSS recovers and nails Bradshaw with his 'Clothesline Of Almost Certain Doom'! TSS then hits a Running DDT on Albert as Benoit Swandives of the TopRope onto Bradshaw! Benoit and TSS then both pick up Albert and slam him over the Top Rope! Benoit Signals for Bradshaw's elimination but TSS 'Bradshaw Bombs' 'The Crippler'! JR-'Dammit, TSS and Bradshaw are in Cahoots!' TSS and his hero Bradshaw give Benoit the DoublePowerBombsOfDoomWithExtraSecretIngrediantStank~!! Benoit then is irish whipped by Bradshaw and Backdropped by TSS over the top rope!
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 BigPoppaPickUp is next out and looks daunted at the challenge in the ring. BPP thinks to hell with it, grabs a chair and rushes the ring! BPP runs straight at TSS and Bradshaw who simultaneously sidestep and guide the diving BPP through the top ropes! The chair is dropped in the ring. BPP picks himself up, thinks 'screw it' and sulks off down the entrance way!
Guest Big Poppa Popick Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 BPP grabs a mike TSS! The Deadly Alliance is OVER! Now, it's just gonna be DEADLY...for you! and by the way...who the hell is BigPoppa Pickup? lol
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 DAMMIT BPP I SAIS NO MID-RUMBLE PROMOS! I'M GLAD I BURIED YOU! but your still in the Rumble.
Guest Some Guy Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 Caboose could you please go a little faster, thanks.
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 'Saved By The Bell' hits and Zack Malibu is no.11! ZM dashes into the ring, ducks under an attempted double clothesline from TSS and Bradhaw! ZM comes back off the ropes with the Zack Attack(Running Knee) to Bradshaw! TSS goes for goes for his Inverted Suplex, but ZM reverses it into an Explosive Dynamite Kid like Snap Suplex! Bradhsaw rises to his feet and throws a clothesline which ZM ducks and locks on a sleeper! ZM turns the sleeper into the 'Crowd Pleaser'(Billy Gunn's One&Only)! But as ZM goes for the lift up, Bradshaw reverses into a Falling Front Neckbreaker! All three men lay motionless in the ring trying to find some energy from somewhere! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 The Lights Go Out and Kane's Music hits! The Stage explodes in Red Pyro and a 7 foot monster comes out! The Monster is Jason "Kane Stole My Gimmick!" Voorhees! JR-'Well I guess it turns out Jason stole his gimmick back!'. Jason steps over the top rope does the 'Kane Four Cornered Pyro Thing'! Bradshaw and TSS make it their feet and charge Jason. Double Chokelsam from Jason to TSS and TheBigAssBanditTexan! TSS roles out of the ring. ZM recovers and still dazed stumbles backwards into Jason! ZM turns around and looks up at his opponent's face. Jason picks up ZM and nails the Tombstone! Jason stands tall in the ring with his opponents down and out! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 "Self High Five!...', 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'(DDP version) brings CobainWasMurdered to the ring! JR-'CWM is no.13! Will it be a case of Unlucky 13 for the freshly reinstated aWo member?!?!?' CWM looks apprehensive, but then suddenly charges the ring! CWM slides into the ring and launches into some CANADIANVIOLENCE~! Chops for Jason, but Jason 'Kane Sells' all of them and hits an uppercut to CWM! Jason then whips CWM into the ropes and nails a Big Boot! CWM staggers to his feet and is nailed with a 'SleepingBagSlam'! Jason picks up CWM and whips him, but CWM somehow reverses! As Jason hits the ropes, TSS grabs his foot and Jason falls on his face! Jason gets up and turns to TSS who has climbed onto the apron, Jason grabs TSS and tries to suplex TSS into the ring! TSS however guillotine drops Jason, who turns around and is Clotheslined From Hell over the Top Rope by Bradshaw! Jason lands on his feet, and proceeds on PowerBombing TSS through the Albino-Hebrew-Russian-Ecuadorian-Dutch Annonunce Table! Jason climbs back into the ring and Gorilla Press' Bradshaw! Before Jason can drop Bradshaw, CWM GORES~! Jason! Bradshaw of course falls and inadvertently splashes Jason! Jason staggers back to his feet... JR-'Oh My God this Monster just won't stay down!'. ...CWM however hits Jason with the 'PollyCutter'(Diamond Cutter) on the chair left by BBP! Jason is finally out cold! Referees and Security drag Jason away before he comes to! TSS is out on the floor, Bradshaw and CWM are fatigued in the ring and ZM has only just regained conciousness! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 'Test, Test, This is a Test!...' Test walks down to the ring and climbs over the top rope, he looks around at the battered bodies and looks unimpressed. ZM pulls himself to his feet using the ropes, and uses them for support as he ries to get a hold on the situation. Test sees this as an oppurtunity and goes for the BootToTheFace~! to eliminate ZM! ZM ducks and Test ends up with one leg eitherside of the ropes! ZM then nails Test with the 'School's Out'(SuperKick)! Test is eliminated! ZM turns around into a FallAway Slam from Bradshaw! Bradshaw gets up and gets a thumb to the eye from CWM, who then whips Bradshaw into the ropes! Bradshaw bounces of the ropes and is given a BellyToBackSupex over the top rope and to the floor by CWM! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 5-4-3-2-1-0...'Break Down The Walls!...' The Living Legend(Screw You Zybsko) Chris Jericho is no.15! Y2J casually walks to the ring, and poses on the ring apron, but ZM brings Jericho in the hard way! ZM starts stomping on Jericho until CWM low blows ZM, as ZM turns around slowly, CWM follows up with a FireMansCarry! Jericho follows up with a Missile Dropkick off the top as ZM gets back to his feet! CWM signals to Jericho to eliminate ZM, and the pair pick up ZM in the Double Bodyslam position... Clock 3-2-1-0...
Guest caboose Posted May 6, 2002 Report Posted May 6, 2002 It's The Shape! The Shape wiblle-wobbles his 650pound ass to the ring! CWM and Jericho look at each other, drop ZM and start to panic! The Shape body avalanches CWM and Jericho before sitting on top off both of them! The Shape sits there for 2 minutes while ZM recovers and starts to laugh at the CWM and honoury aWo member Y2J! Medal hits and Kurt Angle is no.17! Kurt rushes the ring, ZM waits for Angle and goes for a SuperKick, Angle ducks and delivers an AngleSlam! Kurt tries to push The Shape off of the aWo but The Shape won't budge! Angle climbs under the ropes grabs a chair and hits The Shape straight in the face! The Shape remains motionless! Kurt dives back under the ring and puls out a Fire Extinguisher! Angle shoves the funnel down The Shapes throat and sets it off! The Shape starts to sway and finally falls on his back! Angle drags CWM and Jericho out from under The Shape and helps them up. ZM however comes off the top trunbuckle with a cross body onto all three aWo members! Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...
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