Climax 2004

[Stephen Joseph 0]

<Cold Cut to the backstage interview area>

 

SCHIAVONE

Later on tonight the New New Midnight Express will square off against Hell's Hitmen in a First Blood match. At this time I'd like to bring in Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express. I know you've been trying to pull some last-minute strings in an attempt to get the First Blood and special enforcer stipulations thrown out to no avail, Jim.

 

CORNETTE

Geez, Tony, why don't you just say it -- I'm trying to bail my guys out of this match. You make it sound like it's some kind of crime. How would you like it if you were told -- not ask, told -- you were signed in a match where pinfalls and submissions don't count, and your opponents would be two men who have gone on national TV and set dummies of you on fire? Would you like that?

 

SCHIAVONE

No, I can't say that I would.

 

CORNETTE

How do you think we feel? I mean...whose idea was it to book them in a First Blood match? This is wrestling. "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned are wrestlers, not street-fighters. This is obviously another ploy by Hoss (referring to Bill Watts, Chairman of Board of Directors) -- who's only second behind Jim Herd in managerial skills -- and the anti-Cornette wing of Board of Directors to run me out of the OAOAST. Cornette's don't quit. My teams don't quit. As the New New Midnight Express prepare to dance with the devil in the pale of moonlight, I want the fans to remember "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned for what they were, not what they became. I want the fans to remember the New New Midnight Express as former OAOAST World tag team champions and the greatest wrestling tag team in the OAOAST, not as the team who got slaughtered by Hell's Hitmen.

 

That last comment gets the attention of Tony Schiavone and the New New Midnight Express.

 

CORNETTE (CONT'D)

I also want the people to remember these two champions lost a match they weren't trained to wrestle in -- a first blood match. Simon and Ned might not be saints, but they were great wrestlers.

 

Speaking of saints, I'd like to remind you all that the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time will return to action very soon. They've been in Ohio training with Dr. Tom Prichard, developing their in-ring skills.

 

SIMON

What the hell -- no pun intended -- was that, Jimmy? We haven't even wrestled yet and you sound like you're reading us our obituary.

 

CORNETTE

(scoffs)

Come on, Simon. You're still alive, brother. Don't ask too many questions.

 

NED

Don't ask too many questions? Don't ask too many questions?! Maybe if you spent all your time devoted to our match against Hell's Hitmen instead of bringing up The Saints we wouldn't be asking "too many questions."

 

CORNETTE

Wait a minute. (laughs) You guys are jealous, aren't ya? You see the fire in the eyes of Synth and Logan -- the same fire you once had -- and you feel threaten by them. Is that it?

 

SIMON

Tell me, Jimmy, how many OAOAST tag team titles have The Saints won?

 

Cornette takes a step back, rubbing his hand across his chin. He knows where this is going.

 

SIMON

That's right. NNMX 1, Saints 0.

 

NED

We should of been here tonight to face The Original Elite for the OAOAST tag team championship. You even went out of your way to tell The Saints they'd get the first crack at the OAOAST tag titles once we won them. Instead, those two jackasses got us stuck in a rematch -- a First Blood match, at that -- against Hell's Hitmen.

 

MAN (Off Screen)

Who ya callin' a jackass, jackass?

 

THE SAINTS -- Logan "Cowabunga" Mann and Snyth Esizer -- in leather pants and jackets, appear at the interview position. They immediately lock eyes with the NNMX.

 

SIMON

Why don't you guys mind your own business. Your not even booked on the card.

 

SYNTH

Whenever Mr. C's involved, we's involved. You bitches been hatin' on The Saints since the beginning. We's in Sin City, the hometown of The Saints. So, we're not gonna take it. No, we ain't gonna take it anymore!

 

NED

For the last time -- mind your own business, punk!

 

CORNETTE

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. Let's not do this here. I'm beggin' ya.

 

SYNTH

(to Logan)

Did he call me a punk? Did this fool call me a punk? Ah oughta punk you out, punk!

 

Synth and Ned stand nose-to-nose. They're ready to go. Simon and Logan stand next to their partners in support. Cornette gets in-between his two teams.

 

CORNETTE

(nervous chuckling)

We're all one big happy family, like the Jacksons. This interview is over. Let's go, guys.

 

Jim Cornette escorts THE SAINTS out of the interview area, leaving the stunned New New Midnight Express behind.

 

SCHIAVONE

Simon, Ned...any comments?

 

SIMON & NED

No!

 

The NNMX leave the interview area.

 

SCHIAVONE

Lordy, there's some problems -- big problems -- within Jim Cornette Enterprises. This isn't the first time we've seen signs of animosity between The Saints and New New Midnight Express, but it is the first time we've seen Jim Cornette take sides... against the very team he brought into the OAOAST and gave the "Midnight Express" name to -- the New New Midnight Express. This is certainly a developing situation. How will this affect ClimaXXX tonight? My god, what a show!

 

 

 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land

not a wrestler was sleeping, not even a ring hand.

The card was hung by the notices with care,

in hopes that Bill Watts soon would be there.

 

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of championships danced in their heads.

And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my OAOAST brand cap,

had just settled our feuds for a long winter's nap.

 

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my office to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the envelope, and threw up the cash.

 

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

gave the lustre of midday to objects below,

when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but Ragdoll and Hoff, standing right here.

 

Two wrestlers, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be time to pick!

More rapid than eagles, their wants they claimed,

and they whistled and shouted and called them by name:

 

"Now Calvin! Now Dan!

Now, Ragdoll and Stephen!

On, Watts! On, Tony!

On, Crystal and listen!

To the top of the post!

To the top of the cage!

Now bash away! bash away!

bash away all!"

 

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky

so up to the cage-top the courses they flew,

with the sleigh of weapons, and this old wrestler too.

 

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the top

the prancing and pawing of each little stomp.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

down the chimney St. AngleSault came with a bound.

 

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of sledgehammers he had flung on his back,

and he looked like HHH just opening his pack.

 

His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how scary!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a chisled flat belly,

that shook when he suplexed, unlike a bowl full of jelly.

 

 

He was lean and mean, a right fearsome man,

and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

 

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

and piledrove all my wrestlers, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, up the cage wire he rose.

 

He sprang to his vehicle, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all drove like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

 

"Happy ClimaXXX to all, and to all a good fight!"

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

(They camera switch over to the ring as The Mad Cappa sits on a chair in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his hands while “Breathe” by Fabolous blares over the loudspeakers. “Cappa sucks” chants pop up from the crowd. )

 

Cole: “Everybody who has tuned in…….”

 

Caboose: “For the people who have already paid and are watching.”

 

Cole: “Ah yes.”

 

Caboose: “Idiot.”

 

Cole: “The Mad Cappa, who has only been seen through low quality black and white footage disrupting some of the most recent HeldDowns! episodes, has been sitting down in the middle of the ring for at least like 5 minutes already!”

 

Coach: “Since at least when the previous video package we were showing, he’s been down there.”

 

Caboose: “Well, he said he is going to take charge.”

 

Cole: “It looks like he has something on his mind.”

 

Caboose: “No duh!”

 

Cappa: “Cut my music! You see people, there’s a certain man back there who doesn’t want me out here!”

 

Cole: “I wonder who that could be?”

 

(Both Caboose and Coach give Cole a crazy stare.)

 

Cappa: “Oh look! (Looks at his watch.) I don’t even have a match on this fuckin’ Pay Per View!

 

Caboose: “That’s a shame!”

 

Cole: “There has to be a good reason for this.”

 

Coach: “Well, I don’t really care which way or another.”

 

I’m out here to protest, so it brings me oh so great pleasure to bring back……….. DA’ STREET CORNER!”

 

(A “Da’ Street Corner” intro screen plays on to Cappa’s old music, “Let Me Clear My Throat”.)

 

Coach: “Oh no! Not this show again!”

 

Cole: “To bring everybody up to speed. Cappa used to do this show back on Intense Zone when he was rehabbing after losing to Axel in the Revolution Cup finals waaaaaaaaayyy back in like August or September of last year!”

 

Coach: “However, this is all very different from when he used to do it. Back then, he would hang out with the crowd and do some things. But all in all, it’s a time waster!”

 

Cole: “He’s just in the middle in the ring, not out with the people!”

 

Caboose: “Well, I can’t wait to hear what he has to say. Who knows, it might be good!”

 

Cappa: “Remind me to kick the production guys asses for screwing up my music like that! Wrong song morons!

 

Caboose: “That’s just wrong by the normally crack production team we have.”

 

Cappa: “So……. “

 

(Loud boos from the crowd.)

 

“SHUT UP!!!”

 

(Louder boos from the crowd!)

 

“You fucking fans don’t know anything about greatness if he was in front of ya’ll! Oh! Oh! Oh! HE IS standing right in front of you! What are you people?! A bunch of fucking tourists?!”

 

Caboose: “Well, this IS Vegas!”

 

Cole: “I wonder how many people in the audience are ACTUALLY from this town?”

 

(Some cheers from the crowd!)

 

Cappa: “That explains everything! Let me guess? You guys are all rooting for Crystal to win the World title from the toughest opponent I ever faced, Drek Stone, tonight? “

 

(Crowd chants “Crystal, Crystal, Crystal!”)

 

Coach: “YEA, YEA! MY BABY GURL~! IS GOING TO WIN IT TONIGHT!”

 

Cappa: “Or maybe is it that you are rooting for Axel to retire Ragdoll out and regain the HIYAH World Heavyweight title?”

 

(Chants switch over to “Axel, Axel, Axel!”)

 

Cole: “I wonder what’s he going with all this!”

 

Caboose: “Shut up and maybe we’ll find out.”

 

Cappa: “Or possibly, might be a long shot here, excited to see the eight man elimination match for the X Division title?”

 

(Crowd cheers for it!)

 

Cole: “Well, Cappa had two STRAIGHT chances already and he blew it!”

 

Coach: “However, he at least got Leon Rodez to stand up and take notice.”

 

Caboose: “And a broken nose to boot!”

 

Cappa: “You see! I call bullshit! I should have been in that match! Time to rewind! I am going to fill in something for you short attention deficit minded people!”

 

(BOOOO!!!!!)

 

“WHAT?! I’m only speaking the truth about you guys!”

 

Caboose: “Well, he’s right about the people!”

 

Cappa: “Let me continue.”

 

“A couple of weeks ago on a HeldDown!, a man named Alex Bryant gave out an open challenge for anyone to sign up for the Second X Cup that was supposed to go down tonight.”

 

“I WAS going to join up, but, but, just watch!”

 

Coach: (With such enthusiasm) “Yeah! We get to see footage!”

 

Caboose: “At least I’m getting paid to sit next to these two!”

 

(Points to the Angletron. It shows a “2 weeks ago” graphic on the bottom left corner of grainy, low quality black and white footage as Cappa approaches Bill Watts’ office with the sign up paper for the X Cup hanging on the door. Cappa tries to go sign it, but Bill Watts shows up to snatch the paper away!

 

Cappa (on the tape): “What in the hell?! I was just about to sign up!”

 

Bill Watts (on the tape): “Too late! There are enough people on it! You should’ve signed up earlier!

 

Now get out of my office space! Good day!”

 

(Watts’ door is slammed in front of Cappa as he gets frustrated and yells out, “GATAMELA!”)

 

(The cameras return to focus on Cappa’s angered look on his face. Then backs out as Cappa slightly cools off. The crowd laughs at him!)

 

Caboose: “Well, he has a case right there.”

 

Cole: “It’s Bill Watts. He has the right to change matches that he sees fit.”

 

Coach: “Look, everybody is laughing at Cappa! I’m going to join in! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

 

Cappa: (About the crowd laughing at him.) “Oh it’s funny, huh? I might as well join on in!”

 

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

 

(Then quickly gets serious and yells out to the audience) “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Cole: “Wow. Just wow.”

 

Caboose: “It’s the crowd’s fault! They egged him on to past the point of sanity!”

 

Coach: “But it’s just so much fun!”

 

Cappa: “Aaaaah! Much better!”

 

“Oh well, it turned out to be a moot point, but most of the people who were scheduled to be in the Super X Cup were put into that eight man match that you will see on later! And I still get the shaft!”

 

“Well, that’s just ONE grievance I have.”

 

Cole: “You mean there’s more?!”

 

Caboose: “You should’ve expected it!”

 

Cappa: “What about me for tonight? Pay Per View. Nothing. Absolutely nothing!”

 

Coach: “Well, he’s on right now. On Pay Per View!”

 

Caboose: “Oh, shut up!”

 

Cappa: “Last year around this time, I finally got my first, last, and only North American title shot after 10 months in the company at that time!”

 

Cole: “Damn, was it that long?”

 

Coach: “Did we ever give a damn about the North American title?”

 

Caboose: “Good point. That title was on Intense Zone and only made one appearance on HeldDown! It’s last match!”

 

Cappa: “What do I get this year? Hmmm! Not even a GOD DAMN match! What kind of bullshit is that?!”

 

Coach: “Well, it’s ah…..!”

 

Cole: “He just should ask Bill Watts.”

 

Caboose: “Oy!”

 

Cappa: “What about as of late? Not being booked onto any shows after losing to Leon Rodez in the steel cage match! It seems like the place for competition is now suddenly afraid to actually have competition from me!”

 

Triple C: ???? (They are all puzzled.)

 

Cappa: “Do you wanna’ know how sad it has gotten?”

 

Coach: “Well, how sad is it?”

 

Caboose: “Shush!”

 

Cappa: “I had to rely on my extremely shitty TYCO Videocam~! JUST TO MAKE FUCKING APPEARANCES ON THE GOD DAMN SHOWS!

 

Coach: “Damn that is freaking sad!”

 

Cole: “Well I used to own one for my own movi….. err….., special moments!”

 

Caboose: “Cheap ass!”

 

Cappa: “I blame this all on one man.”

 

“I blame this on that no good, dick suckin…….”

 

(Cappa’s mic is temporarily cut off, to the relief of the fans.

 

Then, Bill Watts walks out extremely upset to LOUD cheers from the fans! Watts has his own microphone and stops at the tip of the ramp way.)

 

Cole: “Well things are about to heat up!”

 

Coach: “Bill Bill in da hizz house!”

 

Caboose: “Well, I’m shutting up and I’m telling you all to shut up so we can listen to what they have to say!”

 

Bill Watts: “CAPPA! You are out here wasting valuable Pay Per View time! The wrestlers’ Pay Per View time! The fans Pay Per View time and money! You are not contributing anything worthwhile to this show and you come out here to air your grievances against me! Whatever you had felt wronged by us, you should’ve talked with us privately abo…..”

 

Cappa: “Oh and what?! Just tell me what you think what I want to hear?”

 

“Look Bill, I know what is bullshit and what you just said was total…..”

 

Bill: “SHUT UP! All you have done is complain and complain and bitch and whine and moan! Did you ever think to step back, smell the coffee, count your blessings that you still have a job?!”

 

“All of this could have been avoided if you haven’t acted like a total asshole to everybody starting with Leon Rodez in that non title match.”

 

Cappa: “Two things wrong with that!

 

Why wasn’t that match with Rodez a title match?! Huh?”

 

Bill: “Caps. Okay. You want to know the reason why that was a non title match?”

 

Cappa: “UM…. YEAH!”

 

Bill: “It was a last minute decision! We didn’t know when exactly you were coming back and you kinda’ just showed up out of the blue on that day of the match. So, out of the kindness of our hearts, we set up that non title match just to satisfy you until we had an idea for your future matches!”

 

Cappa: * cough * “Bullshit! And here’s where it leads to my other concern.”

 

“Before I showed my frustration to the world, I tried to hide it. I tried to talk it over with you guys. The only response I ever got from you guys is ok, sometime will be your time, but not now.”

 

“GATAMELA!”

 

“It took me 10 months before I even had * ONE * North American title shot. It took me 19 months in between X Division title shots. Never had a 24/7 title shot on TV.”

 

“But here comes the most beautiful part about it.”

 

“I NEVER had a straight one-on-one World Heavyweight title shot! Not one! I’ve been in the company for over 22 months and I see people who came in later than me and receive numerous title shots out the wazoo!”

 

“Let’s look at the statistics!”

 

“Calvin Szechstein, Crystal, Hoff, and Drek Stone have been in less time than me and already they can say that they are either former or current World Heavyweight champions!”

 

“Crystal got at least seven or eight title shots. (Starts rapid-firing) Sly Sommers, Blurricane, “Shooter” Jay Darring, Jingus, Northstar, Axel, Ragdoll, Panther, Puerto Rican Lightning, all of them got numerous title shots! You even gave people like Chris Stevens, Jacob Lyne, Terry Simmons, Ted Weddy, and even FUCKING Phoenix got a title shot all ahead of me!”

 

“WHEN, WHEN, WHEN, WHEN, WHEN, WHEN, WHEN?!”

 

“WHEN IS IT MY TIME just to get one measly title shot?!”

 

“When am I no longer going to be JUST passed by?”

 

“At this rate, even that new dude Phenom is going to get a title shot ahead of me!”

 

“All of this is just flat out disrespect to me!”

 

“I blame this all …”

 

“on……..”

 

“you!”

 

(Slaps his own forehead!)

 

“OH MY GOD!”

 

“Stephen Joseph had been right all along! The man was right! Now I see what he was talking about! I was a fool for not listening to what the man was trying to say to me during those brief months that I was trying to get out of the INTEN5E!”

 

“That Abe Vigoda guy was a better manager that you.”

 

Bill: “You done yet?”

 

Cappa: “Nope!”

 

“What about as of late? Huh?”

 

“I only get sporadic matches here and there and usually against the same people.”

 

“I thought when Intense Zone got absorbed by HeldDown! that would have opened the possibilities of more matches with other people.”

 

“However, so far I’ve only faced like a total of like five new people after coming to HeldDown!”

 

“Also, not been booked for almost the last month! Not even booked for tonight!”

 

“So, Bill, why?”

 

Bill: “Now are you done?”

 

(Cappa shakes his head yes.)

 

Bill: “What have you done lately? Have you contributed? Have you made this a better place to work at? Have you treated anybody with respect as of late?”

 

(Cappa is about to answer, but Watts talks.)

 

“I can answer that already for you. The answer is NO!”

 

“As of your behavior as of recent, you don’t deserve to be out here!”

 

“However, since you wanted a match for tonight, and it is the holiday season. Here you go!”

 

(Bill Watts disappears back through the curtains and sends out a little Santa Claus midget! Cappa sees this and fumes! A referee runs out while the bellkeeper rings the bell.)

 

Cole: “Well, here we go!”

 

Coach: “Cappa got his wish after all!”

 

Cole: “What a merry Christmas this is turning out to be!”

 

Caboose: “Um, Christmas was yesterday!”

 

Cole: (Checks watch.) “Oh damn! Then were did the gifts that Santa was supposed to bring me? Is he a day late?”

 

Caboose: “Never mind. However, Cappa doesn’t look too thrilled about facing a midget Santa Claus on a pay per view called Climax.”

 

Coach: “I think he have rather faced someone that is actually in the OAOAST! Not a midget!”

 

THE MAD CAPPA VS. MIDGET SANTA CLAUS

 

* DING DING DING!*

 

(The crowd chants “Santa, Santa, Santa!”)

 

Cappa: “BILL! Oooooooo!”

 

* SIGH * “Oh well. This will do.”

 

“Santa” rolls underneath the ring to cheers from the crowd! Cappa drops the mic and delivers a * STIFF * kick to the midget Santa’s head, face side! Santa collapses!

 

Cole & Coach: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

 

Cole: “He almost took his head off!”

 

Cappa then casually places his foot on top of him as the ref and the crowd is baffled!

 

………………1

 

………………2

 

..…………….3!

 

* DING DING DING!*

 

Ring Announcer: “Um, the winner of this bout in 5 seconds ….. THHHHEEEE MAAAAAAAAAAAADD CCAAAAAAAAAPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

 

Coach: “Um, that was something!”

 

Cole: “Damn! Five seconds!”

 

Coach: “At least he GOT a match!”

 

Cole: “Some match that was!”

 

Caboose: “That’s not the story at all! Bill just openly disrespected Cappa after he gave his heart out there by giving him a midget non regular OAOAST contracted wrestler.”

 

(Cappa angrily walks out of the ring and storms towards the staging area! The crowd overwhelms the place with “Cappa sucks” chants and boos! Along the way, Cappa ignores everybody’s chants and boos.)

 

Cole: “That was something.”

 

Caboose: “No kidding Sherlock!”

 

(Cappa looks over to the camera at the top and begins to yell at it!)

 

Cappa: “Bill! That was fucked up! You have disrespected me for the last time! It is going to be a time for change! It will all begin this Thursday! See you on HeldDown!”

 

(Cappa disappears into the staging area.)

 

Coach: “Well, time to keep this Pay Per View going along, by going backstage!"

 

The crowd pops as we cut backstage, where we see Panther and Tina walking through the hallways; Panther’s clad in a black leather jacket, a red and black checkered button-up shirt, loose-fitting black jeans and tan boots, while Tina’s dressed up in a long black fur coat, with a red top and mini-skirt, black knee-high boots, and a black and red Santa’s cap on her head. Tina’s eyeing Panther with concern as he limps noticeably, a grimace etched on his face. They continue walking until reaching a green room where, seated upon a plush leather sofa in front of a big screen plasma TV is none other than OAOAST interviewer Jackie Gayda. She’s talking with a production assistant, but breaks away from the conversation to send a cordial smile their way when she notices them approaching.

 

JACKIE

Hey you two!

 

TINA

Hey girl! Happy Holidays.

 

JACKIE

Thanks. Same to you. Um…Panther…

 

Panther doesn’t answer. Instead, he limps towards her, favoring his lower back as he draws closer and closer to the sofa. Once there, he sits down next to Jackie, throwing all his weight down onto the sofa’s cushions as if he’s letting the weight of the world off his shoulders. He stretches, slouches deep into the sofa and puts his feet up on a coffee table seated directly in front of him. He then turns to Jackie with a dead-pan look that draws some laughter from her.

 

JACKIE

Rough day?

 

TINA

(sitting down on the arm of the sofa) He’s still trying to recover from that last minute holiday shopping.

 

PANTHER

Yeah. I promised Di [the ex-wife] I’d pick her kids up one of those new Nintendo things…(sighs) man it was crazy. Running from store to store trying to find that thing…and angry parents all over the place. Damn it, Jackie, I took a beating from a group of moms at Toys R Us that was worse than just about anything that’s happened to me in the ring. It was terrible.

 

TINA

Yeah, well Panther, look on the bright side. At least you can rest assured that the stores won’t be half as packed tomorrow…when you’re out shopping my birthday present.

 

PANTHER

…say what?

 

TINA

That’s right! My 34th birthday, and I expect something nice!

 

JACKIE

(giggles) And you know that by “nice,” she means “expensive.”

 

PANTHER

Aww c’mon, T! You’re gonna send me back out there after all I’ve been through?! And after I bought you that nice purse for Christmas.

 

TINA

Oh, don’t even get me started on the purse, Panther. I can’t even put into words just how much I appreciate it…a genuine Hughey Vutton!

 

PANTHER

Woman, I’ll have you know that that’s a very popular brand in Zimbabwe. The women there would kill to have a purse like that. You should be grateful.

 

Tina gives Panther a playful shove, to which he responds with one of his own. Jackie just laughs and shakes her head, but her smile fades slightly as the production assistant whispers something into her ear. He then walks off, leaving the three alone, Jackie with an uneasy look on her face.

 

JACKIE

Um…(nervously laughter) ya know, Panther…I know how personal things are between you, Brock Ausstin and Chris Bryte…and I know how anxious you are to come back and get your revenge…

 

PANTHER

Jackie, what are you getting at?

 

Jackie squirms nervously before answering.

 

JACKIE

Well…uh…I got a message from Bill Watts, and he wanted me to remind you that you’re not cleared to return as of yet.

 

PANTHER

I know Jackie! I know; the man’s only told me that about a thousand times over the last month. What else is new?

 

JACKIE

Well I’ll tell you: Watts said to tell you that if either you or Tina get involved in that match between Brock and Bryte tonight…well then you WON’T be cleared to return…not this Thursday night, or any other night in the foreseeable future.

 

The crowd boos in the background as both Jackie and Tina eye Panther, who’s beginning to laugh. He rubs his chin between his index finger and thumb as he tries to contain his laughter.

 

PANTHER

So Watts…Watts said that, huh? I can’t get involved or I’m not cleared to return?

 

TINA

(concerned) Panther—

 

PANTHER

Oh, don’t worry, Tina! Don’t even worry about it. Watts said not to get involved, and you know me, babe—I always abide by the rules. Now if Watts—

 

Panther starts to rise but stops midsentence, fixing his eyes upon something in the distance. Tina and Jackie turn their eyes in that direction as well as the sound of footsteps can be heard in the background, getting closer and closer and closer. The camera pans out slightly, bringing into view just what the three are looking at: “The Current Big Thing” Brock Ausstin. The crowd gives a mixed (mostly negative) reaction as his image appears on the Angletron, clad in his black leather pants and boots. He’s breathing heavily, his massive chest heaving in and out as he glares down at them intensely. Panther, flashing his trademark smirk, looks unimpressed by the sight of the monster.

 

PANTHER

Well, well, well. (chuckles) Better not let Cowboy Bill catch you in here, Brock. You know us good guys and bad guys aren’t supposed to hanging together.

 

Suddenly, Brock grabs an end of the coffee table flips it over, sending glass and china crashing onto the floor. A startled Jackie leaps behind the sofa to get out of dodge as Panther and Tina immediately rise, going face to face (to face) with the Current Big Thing. Chants of “PAAAN-THER! PAAAN-THER!” can be heard from the arena as Panther and Tina stare Brock down, eagerly awaiting his next movement.

 

BROCK

Let me warn you, Panther: you get involved in my match, then you won’t even have to worry about what Watts’ll do to you…be cause I’ll see to it personally that you NEVER WALK AGAIN!!!!

 

PANTHER

…oh really?

 

BROCK

Yeah, reall—

 

PANTHER

No, shut up! You come in here with that constipated look on your face, gagging and wheezing like you’re about to have an asthma attack, and you call yourself trying to intimidate somebody. Well lemme tell you something Brock—that shit doesn’t work with me! I’ve been in the ring with you, I’ve taken the best that you can dish out and I’ve given it right back, so rest assured Brock that I don’t fear you or anything you’re capable of doing. Now…you and Watts are worried. Both of you seem you seem to think that Tina and I showed up here tonight to interfere in your little match. Well Brock, you can tell Watts, and you can tell your boy Yancy not to worry, because believe me—I don’t give two shits about your match tonight. Tina and I are here for one reason and one reason only…and that’s to relax. To enjoy ourselves! We’ve got the holidays off, and we’re enjoying every minute of it, and you should be too, Brock. No need to stress yourself out worrying about what we’re doing. Just sit back and enjoy these next few days…because once I’m cleared to return Brock, all the fun—all the enjoyment…IT STOPS!

 

The crowd pops in the background as Panther inches closer to Brock, a look of intensity building in his eyes.

 

PANTHER

You see, Ausstin, things are fixing to change around here. For the last 14 months, I’ve allowed you and Bryte to get the upper hand on me…to distract me from my goals! To keep me from accomplishing the things I need to accomplish! (chuckles) Well NO MORE! Once I get back, I’m putting an end to all the drama, all of the bullshit that’s been going on between us! It starts this Thursday night with Chris Bryte on HeldDOWN, and when I get done with him, then you can bet your ass that you’re next. See, Brock, whether you, Bryte or anybody else likes it or not, 2005 is gonna be MY YEAR, and from here on in, I’m gonna do any and everything to ensure that that OAOAST World Title belt is strapped around MY WAIST! I don’t care what I hafta do, Brock, one way or another, it’s coming to me! (sighs) But…let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Brock, you…you just go and concentrate on your match tonight, ok?

 

Panther flashes another smile Brock’s way, and Brock shoots him a cold glare in return. After a tense silence between the two, Brock slowly begins to back away, not once taking his eyes off of Panther. Panther mockingly waves goodbye as he exits.

 

PANTHER

Have fun tonight, Brock! And remember: from this day forward, there’s no right way, there’s no wrong way, there’s only the Panther’s way…(crowd joins in) AND THERE CAN’T BE ANY OTHER WAY!

 

The crowd pops once more in the background as Panther heads back to the sofa and takes another seat. Tina takes a seat beside him, patting him on his right shoulder as a worried Gayda peeks out from behind the sofa to make sure the coast is clear.

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

COLE

Fans, up next here at Climax is a match that was made this past Thursday night on HeldDOWN! It’s Brock Ausstin, The Current Big Thing, going one on one with Chris Bryte, his own stablemate! Both these men are in the camp of Kevin Yancy Taylor…

 

CABOOSE

And for that reason, this match should not be taking place, Cole! I mean, this is completely unfair, and just another case of the OAOAST brass trying to put the screws to Chris Bryte and Kevin Yancy Taylor!

 

COLE

Well, Taylor certainly isn’t happy about it. Bryte didn’t seem to be happy about it. Ausstin, on the other hand, seemed to be pleased. Dissention between these two men has been brewing since our last pay-per-view offering, Thanksgiving Star Wars, when Ausstin faced Panther in a match that ended in a no contest when Chris Bryte made his return and KO’d the referee! In many people’s opinion, Panther had the match won, and Chris Bryte robbed him of the victory, his very first victory over The Current Big Thing! From there, Bryte and The Hand laid a beating on Panther that coupled with injuries inflicted upon him by Ausstin prior to the event, left Panther out of action for a month. However, when it came time to take credit for the job done at the PPV, Bryte completely overlooked Ausstin’s efforts and took all the credit for himself, ‘Boose!

 

CABOOSE

And rightfully so if you ask me. I mean, really—I like Brock Ausstin and all, but Chris Bryte was right on the money. When he and The Hand showed up at TSW, Brock Ausstin was in trouble—he was possibly on the verge of losing the match! Chris Bryte saved Brock’s ass, and Brock should’ve showed him the appreciation that he deserves, Cole.

 

COLE

But he didn’t! Brock resented Bryte’s boasting and that led to a confrontation between the two men on last week’s HeldDOWN! Later on that night, Chris Bryte took on Leon Rodez for a chance to vy for the X-Division Title sometime down the line. It was a seesaw battle, and in the end, it looked as if Leon Rodez had the match won after hitting that patented 450 of his! However, once Rodez managed to pull himself up for the cover, out came Brock Ausstin to cause the disqualification victory. Chris Bryte’s return match was spoiled, and Bryte wasn’t happy about that at all, as many people feel as though he could’ve kicked out of that pin. And I know that you’re one of those people.

 

CABOOSE

Yes I am. Rodez had injured his nose upon connecting with the move and was slow to cover. Bryte was down but there was still a chance that he could’ve kicked out! There’s not a doubt in my mind that Brock Ausstin intentionally ruined Chris Bryte’s return match!

 

COLE

We’ll never know just what the outcome of that match would’ve been without Brock’s interference. However, tonight, the issue between these two comes to a head as these two men square off thanks to a decision made this past Thursday by Bill Watts. Hopefully, things will be resolved between these two men here tonight, but the signing of this match has raised one very big question in my mind, ‘Boose: just who will Kevin Yancy Taylor support here tonight?

 

COACH

Well, obviously he’s gonna side with Bryte, guys. That’s his nephew!

 

CABOOSE

No, you idiot. You couldn’t be any more wrong. I know Kevin Yancy Taylor. He’s a man without taint. Without bias, and you can be sure that no matter how much of a crackhead Brock Ausstin’s been lately, he will remain in the middle! He just wants to get through this thing in one piece so that he can get back to his goal of destroying Panther once and for all.

 

COACH

Say what you will, Boo-Boo boy, but I—DA COACH—know differently! Ya can’t trust Kevin Taylor as far as you can throw him, and tonight, I think he’s gonna stab Brock Ausstin in the back in favor of his nephew! He just can’t be trusted!

 

COLE

Well I dunno about you two, but I think Taylor’s gonna side with Brock.

 

Both ‘Boose and Coach look at Cole like he’s a damn fool.

 

COLE

What? It could happen. You never know with Taylor.

 

COACH (to Caboose)

And you call me stupid.

 

CABOOSE

Yes…yes I do.

 

COLE

Enough talk—let’s take you down to ringside for action!

 

“It’s Goin’ Down” hits the PA system and the house lights dim. A blue hue covers the crowd and white strobe lights begin to flash at the entrance.

 

Watch them flee…

 

Watch them flee…

 

Wa…Wa…Watch them flee [hip hop hits]

 

*SCRATCH**SCRATCH!*

 

And you do it like this!

 

Suddenly, the locker room curtains swing open and out walks Chris Bryte to a chorus of boos. In addition to his ring gear and his trademark shades, he’s also wearing a blue vest with his name etched on the back in silver lettering. The Hand is following closely behind, and he looks on stoically as Bryte taunts some of the fans at in the front row. Together, the two men start down the ramp to ringside.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by THE HAND~! He hails from Topeka, Kansas and weighs in tonight at 175 pounds, here is CHRRRRRRRIS…BRRRRRYYYYYYYTE!!!!!!

 

The fans again voice their disapproval of Bryte as his name is mentioned. Bryte seems unfazed by the jeers, though, and continues egging the fans on as he inches closer and closer to the ring.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte on his way to ringside, and conspicuous by his absence is Kevin Yancy Taylor!

 

COACH

Yeah…wassup wit dat?! I mean…I was sure he’d be coming out here with his nephew!

 

COLE

Well MAYBE he’s with Brock Ausstin, JUST LIKE I PREDICTED HE’D BE! How about that, you two? Huh? Am I still a damn fool?

 

CABOOSE

Yes. Yes you are.

 

COACH

You’re also gay.

 

COLE

Am not!

 

CABOOSE

Then why is your hand on my thigh?

 

COLE

Well it’s so nice and smooth. (rubs Caboose’s thigh)

 

CABOOSE

Really? (blushes) Well I have been shaving more. Plus I got this new cream that really does wonders—DAMN IT, WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

 

COLE

Oh fine! Be that way!

 

Cole reluctantly moves his hand away from Caboose’s thigh as Bryte hits the ring and begins to showboat for the crowd. He removes his vest and hands it over to a ringside attendant as the music begins to die down. Then A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers:

 

"Come on God, Answer Me.

For Years, I've Been Asking You Why?

Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive?

Where is Justice? Where is Punishment?

. . . . . . . . . . .

Or Have You Already Answered?

Have You Already Said to the World,

Here is Justice. Here is Punishment.

Here....

In Me."

 

"Punishment" by BIOHAZARD starts up over the PA system, and Brock Ausstin appears through the smoke-covered entrance with a sinister smile on his face. He begins doing his dreaded HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~!, drawing a mixed reaction from the capacity crowd. Then, he lets loose a wild battle cry before heading down the ramp to ringside.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent…hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in tonight at 320 pounds, he is THE CURRENT BIG THING…BRRRROCK…AUUUSSSSTIIIIIIIIN~!

 

Brock continues his path to the ring as inside the ring, Chris Bryte talks strategy with The Hand.

 

COLE

Brock Ausstin on his way out to ringside now…

 

COACH

And Taylor’s not with him either!

 

CABOOSE

And that proves it! I told you, I know Kevin Taylor. He is not gonna allow Bill Watts and his politics get in the way of his well-oiled unit! He’s gonna stay out of this thing!

 

COLE

I dunno. I’m having a hard time believing that.

 

Brock leaps onto the ring apron and steps into the ring. He immediately starts towards Bryte, but gets cut off by The Hand, who steps in his path. Referee Nick Patrick tries to talk The Hand out of the ring as the two behemoths square off, Brock not backing down from The Hand’s challenge. With Brock preoccupied with The Hand, though, Bryte goes unnoticed as he gradually positions himself behind Brock, then catches him with a charging knee to the small of the back. The Hand steps aside at just that moment, and the force of Bryte’s blow sends Brock staggering into the ropes. Bryte wastes no time in pouncing the big man as Nick Patrick calls for the bell.

 

DING DING DING!

 

COLE

The bell has sounded and Chris Bryte’s already going to work! Using that distraction from The Hand, and Brock Ausstin’s in trouble here in the early going!

 

Bryte unloads on Ausstin, nailing him with hard punches and knees to the head and to the gut. Brock’s able to weather Bryte’s storm, however, and shove him to the mat. He looks to go on offense, but Bryte rolls back to his feet and comes at him once again, peppering him with punches to the head and kicks to the calf and right kneecap. Again, Brock manages to absorb Bryte’s blows and shove him to the mat. And again, Bryte quickly rolls to his feet and go right back at Brock. This time, though, he ends up diving right into the clutches of the big man, as Brock catches him by the throat with both hands and lifts him high into the air. Camera flashbulbs illuminate the arena as Brock walks Bryte out to the center of the ring; however, Bryte catches him with a thumb to his eyes, causing Brock to release him. Bryte lands on his feet and catches Brock with a quick forearm before hitting the ropes. Bryte baseball slides through the legs as he comes off, and catches Brock with a weak chop block to the back of his right knee.

 

COLE

Oh! Bryte going after that knee! That same knee that was injured a month ago at Thanksgiving Star Wars!

 

Brock grasps at his knee as Bryte lines him up, catching him with a HARD kick to the back of the knee that causes him to scream in pain. A second sends Brock limping into the ropes once again. Sensing that Brock’s on the run, Bryte raises his arms into the air, drawing huge heat from the capacity crowd before hitting the ropes opposite him. When he rebounds, he comes at Brock with a full head of steam, only to be sent SAILING over the top rope courtesy of a BAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP from Ausstin! The crowd pops big as Bryte’s body hits the arena floor!

 

COLE

Oh my goodness! Chris Bryte damn near got sent into orbit thanks to that back drop from Brock Ausstin, and this crowd…they are absolutely going wild!

 

Indeed, and the cheers unnerve Bryte a bit as he pulls himself up on the arena floor. He slap the ring apron and punches at the air before pulling himself back onto the apron, only to be sent back down onto the ringside mats by a Brock Ausstin forearm. Bryte quickly finds his feet and heads back onto the apron, only to be dropped by another forearm. A frustrated Bryte slaps at the ringside mats as in the ring, Brock unleashes another HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! to the crowd’s delight. Then, he starts toward the ropes, hoping to go out after Bryte. Before he’s able to, Bryte reaches between the middle and bottom ropes and wraps up Brock’s knee. He holds onto it with all his might as Brock swipes at him from the ring, desperately trying to get him off. Finally, Brock manages to catch Bryte by the hair and pull him up onto the apron. From there, he tries to drag him into the ring, but a palm strike right to the eye socket from Bryte changes those plans. Stunned, Brock staggers out to the center of the ring, at which point, Bryte pulls himself up onto the top rope and begins to measure him. The crowd clamors as Bryte waits for Brock to turn around, and when he does, Bryte leaps at him with what looks to be a high cross body…but alas…

 

COLE

HE’S CAUGHT!!!!

 

Fate strikes again! Bryte founds himself caught in front powerslam position. He struggles to break free, but to no avail as Brock muscles him up over his head for a gorilla press. Bryte’s eyes widen and his jaw drops as Brock presses him high above his head, the crowd cheering him on in the background. Suddenly, The Hand pulls himself up onto the apron and shoots Brock THE EVIL EYE~!

 

COLE

What’s he doing up there?! Get him down from there, ref!

 

Nick Patrick tries to do just that, but The Hand quickly shoves him aside and demands that Brock put Bryte down. A mischievous grin appears on Brock’s face as he ponders over the request, and after approximately 10 seconds or so, he gives The Hand his answer…

 

 

 

 

 

…by tossing Bryte straight at him, sending both men tumbling from the apron and onto the arena floor. The crowd gives Brock a good-sized pop as he beats on his chest and celebrates in the ring.

 

CABOOSE

Now that was uncalled for! Un-fucking-called for!

 

COLE

Both Chris Bryte and The Hand go down, and this crowd is absolutely loving it!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, they would love it! First moronic idea this damn Ausstin gets, and these people go crazy for him. C’mon, Chris, get up!

 

Bryte tries to pull himself up off of The Hand on the outside, but before he’s able to get his feet under him, Ausstin heads out to the floor to greet him. He catches Bryte by the back of the head and blasts him with a clubbing forearm, sending him stumbling into the aisle! Another forearm shot staggers Bryte some more. He tries to fire back with a judo chop, but Brock catches his wrist in his left hand, squeezing it tightly. Bryte cringes and stomps his feet rapidly as Brock’s grip on his wrist tightens. Then, Brock scoops him up over his shoulder and carries him back toward the apron, tossing him through the middle and top ropes before heading back into the ring after him. Brock steps through the ropes with his right foot and is preparing to do the same with the left, when suddenly, The Hand reaches up from the floor and grabs his ankle. Brock tries to kick his leg free, but unfortunately, he finds himself unable to break The Hand’s strong grip. Meanwhile, Bryte again takes advantage of The Hand’s distraction and rushes up from behind, firing off a low dropkick to Brock’s right knee, causing it to buckle. He follows that up with a HARD kick right to the kidneys, at which point, The Hand releases his leg and allows him to fall into the ring. With the monstrous Ausstin lying at his feet, Bryte takes it upon himself to drive a knee right into his windpipe! Again! Referee Patrick admonishes him, but Bryte brushes him off, hitting off the ropes once again and rebounding with a power drive elbow right to the sternum! Hook of the leg by the Bryte man…

 

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOO! Kickout WITH AUTHORITY~! sends Bryte flying halfway across the ring, landing facefirst on the canvas. He favors his mouth as he pulls himself off the canvas, the crowd cheering as they root for Brock—the clear cut crowd favorite—to get himself back into the match. Brock pulls himself up to his knees and prepares to rise, but before he’s able to, Bryte pounces him once more and locks him up in a front chancery. Brock tries to use his strength to force Bryte off of him, but Bryte’s got the hold locked in tight, preventing Brock from escaping. Looking to wear the big man down, Bryte falls stomach-first to the canvas, dragging Brock down with him, and a roll of boos comes up from the crowd as Bryte tightens his grip.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte with this front chancery locked in…trying to force big Brock Ausstin down to the canvas.

 

CABOOSE

Excellent strategy by Bryte. I don’t care how big you are, they’re all the same size on the mat!

 

Keeping the hold applied, Bryte drives some knees to Brock’s forehead, then cinches up some more. Brock presses both hands against the canvas to try and force himself back up to a vertical base, but finds himself unable to. Then, the crowd begins to chant.

 

LET’S GO AUSSS-TIIIIIIN

 

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP!

 

LEEET’S GOOO AAAAUUUUSSSS-TIIIIIIIN!

 

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP!

 

COLE

This crowd is once again rallying behind Brock Ausstin. Is their support enough to will Brock out of this hold?

 

CABOOSE

Of course not. TIGHTER, BRYTE! TIGHTER!

 

Bryte tries to tighten his grip, but the crowd’s support is beginning to get to Brock, as a surge of energy runs through his body. He begins to tremble somewhat as he forces himself back up to one knee. Hoping to slow him, Bryte begins driving more knee lifts into Brock’s head, but it’s no use. Brock soon manages to get his feet under him and drag Bryte back to a vertical base. The crowd’s chants grow louder as Brock now looks to escape from the chancery, hooking Bryte in a modified front waistlock and lifting him up over his shoulder…OH! He dropped him. Undaunted, Brock lifts him once more…but he ends up dropping him again. Bryte keeps the hold applied and begins driving more kneelifts into Brock’s skull, hoping to put him back down. But the crowd surge doesn’t let up, and with the fans willing him on, Brock makes one last attempt to escape. With the waistlock hooked, he lifts Bryte up onto his shoulder, then tosses him back, causing Bryte to belly-flop onto the canvas! The crowd pops once more as Bryte pulls himself up to his knees, clutching at his midsection!

 

COLE

Brock Ausstin with the escape! Chris Bryte is hurt after that one…

 

CABOOSE

But look at Brock! He’s sucking wind, Cole! I think that hold took something out of him.

 

Indeed. Brock’s breathing heavily, he chest heaving in and out as he struggles to breath air back into his lungs. He quickly manages to pull himself together, and as soon as Bryte finds his feet, Brock tosses his head back, beats upon his chest and…

 

BROCK

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!

 

…lets loose another wild battle cry before charging Bryte with his shoulder dipped, driving him HARD into the buckle. There, Brock begins his assault, driving shoulder after shoulder after shoulder into Bryte’s abdomen, each blow driving more and more breath out of the Bryte man’s body! Eventually, Brock lets up and draws away from the buckle, allowing an injured Bryte to stagger forward. With Bryte clutching at his rib area in the middle of the ring, Brock decides to hit the ropes, and rebounds with a running shoulderblock that sends Bryte straight to the mat. Bryte tries to recover quickly, and immediately pulls himself back to his feet, but once vertical, he finds himself wrapped up in another Brock Ausstin front waistlock. Before he can even assess his predicament, he quickly finds himself taken up and over with HOSSLY GOODNESS~! (overhead belly to belly) Bryte hits the canvas hard and comes up grasping for his lower back, a look of pain etched on his face. Meanwhile, Brock has a smile on his as he walks over to a corner and begins to set himself.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte is in a world of hurt at this moment, guys!

 

COACH

And it’s about to get worse, fellas, because watch Brock. HERE COMES THE PAIN~!

 

Indeed, Brock is measuring Chris Bryte for The Pain (spear), and the crowd clamors in anticipation of the move. Bryte slowly pulls himself to a standing position, Brock anxiously bobbing his head and wiggling his fingers as the Bryte man begins to rise. Once his feet are under him, Brock springs into action, dashing across the ring and dipping his shoulder for THE PAIN—BUT NO! At the last second, Bryte manages to side step him, and Brock goes crashing headfirst into the middle turnbuckle. Brock staggers out to the center of the ring, only to be knocked to a knee by a Chris Bryte enzuiguri.

 

COLE

Hard kick to the back of the head by Chris Bryte!

 

CABOOSE

And remember—Brock’s coming off a concussion!

 

Brock shakes his head to try and gather himself as Bryte positions himself in front of him, measuring him. With the crowd booing him in the background, Bryte quickly moves in on Ausstin and—

 

CRACK!

 

--BLASTS HIM with a hard roundhouse kick to the temple!

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

One more sends Brock leaning back onto his knees, his eyes rolling up into the back he head. A smug look forms on Bryte’s face as he goes into a martial arts stance and measures Brock once again…

 

 

 

CRACK~!

 

…before ripping into him with ANOTHER roundhouse kick that sends Brock straight to the mat! The crowd boos loudly in the background as Bryte does an arrogant bow before covering Brock with a lateral press. Nick Patrick slides into position to count…

 

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

NO!!!!! JUST TWOOOOO!

 

COLE

Chris Bryte unable to put Brock Ausstin away on that pin attempt.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but he’s definitely slowed him some. Notice that kickout wasn’t anywhere near as strong as the last one. Bryte’s wearing him down, Cole!

 

Bryte momentarily argues with the referee about the count before turning his attention back to Brock, who lies on his back trying to gather himself. Bryte hits off the ropes and comes off with a falling fist drop right between Brock’s eyes. The blow causes Brock to roll over in pain, clutching at his forehead, at which point, Bryte hits the ropes once again and comes off with a falling judo chop to the back of the head. Brock tries to shut out the pain and pulls himself onto his knees, but as soon as he does, Bryte rips into him with a swift kick to the gut. Another! Bryte then straddles Brock’s back and sits down upon it, applying a rear naked choke. He taunts the fans as he cranks back on Brock’s head, drawing more jeers in the process.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte once again attempting to take Brock Ausstin’s wind away. Trying to wear the big man down.

 

CABOOSE

Bryte’s come in here tonight with a pretty good strategy if you ask me, Cole. Did you ever think he’d have him in this much trouble?

 

COLE

Oh sure…that little help he got from The Hand earlier on didn’t hurt matters either.

 

CABOOSE

I agree. The Hand’s such an asset to Chris Bryte.

 

A faint clapping starts up in the front row as a few fans try to get Brock motivated, but before it really gets going, Brock manages to pull himself to the bottom rope and grab it with his right hand. Patrick calls for the break.

 

NICK PATRICK

Break it up, Bryte! 1…2…3…

 

Bryte breaks on three, then delivers a jumping knee right to the back of Brock’s head. Another leaves the big man face down on the canvas as Bryte gets up and once again begins to taunt the crowd.

 

COACH

Bryte’s getting cocky in there.

 

COLE

He can’t afford to do that with the likes of Brock Ausstin.

 

Brock again pushes himself up onto his knees, at which point, Bryte comes over and slaps him in the back of the head, drawing more boos from the crowd. He does it once more and laughs, shooting a big cheesy grin The Hand’s way before trying to lift Brock up off the canvas. Suddenly, Brock grabs Bryte around the waist and tries to drive him back, perhaps trying to send him back into the buckle as he did early. However, Brock, still groggy from the shots he’s taken to the head, is unable to find his coordination, and Bryte easily stops him by grabbing a front facelock. Knee to the side of the head by Bryte. He follows up with another before releasing the hold, at which point he begins to hammer Brock with rapid-fire Kawada kicks to the bridge of the nose. Each shot sends a sickening thud throughout the arena, the final blow sending Brock staggering back towards a corner. With Ausstin dazed, Bryte rushes to an opposite buckle and lines him up before coming at him with a Low Ki-style Tidal Crush that sends him staggering out to the center of the ring. Brock appears to be completely out of it, clutching his head with both hands as Bryte hits the ropes and mows him down with a big Yakuza kick to the chin!

 

COLE

What a shot by Bryte!

 

CABOOSE

He could have him here!

 

COLE

Bryte with the cover…

 

 

1…

 

 

2…

 

 

 

3—NO! Brock’s able to get the shoulder up, and Bryte’s none to happy. He shoves Brock back down and covers him once again, this time for the count of...

 

1…

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

NO! Brock raises the shoulder once more. And infuriated Bryte lifts Brock back up to a seated position, at which point he begins hammering him with rapid-fire punches to the temple, followed by a bone chilling kick right between the shoulder blades. Another roundhouse to the temple sends Brock rolling onto his knees, at which point Bryte straddles his back again, bringing his head back and ripping into the big man with a series of crossface forearms to the bridge of the nose. Then, he slaps on another rear naked choke in an attempt to wear the big man down. He locks his legs around Brock’s waist and falls back to the canvas before cinching up on the hold.

 

COLE

Brock’s got this choke applied again, and this time it’s in tight.

 

CABOOSE

Again, smart game plan by the Bryte man. So far, he’s managed to exploit Brock’s injuries, most specifically that concussion he suffered last month at Thanksgiving Star Wars, and on top of that, he’s been steadily limiting the big man’s air supply. Right now he’s got that choke locked in, and with that body scissors applied, Brock’s gonna have a difficult time expanding those lungs—getting air into his body. That’s gonna work in Bryte’s favor in the later stages of this match.

 

COACH

He may not even make it outta this, ‘Boose. Brock looks like he’s out.

 

Nick Patrick is right there to check on Brock, whose arm is now lying limp on the canvas. He taps him on the shoulder, and when Brock doesn’t respond, Patrick lifts his arm to see if he’s conscious, and holds it in the air before letting go, allowing it to fall heavily to the canvas.

 

CABOOSE

That’s one!

 

Patrick checks the arm once again, lifting it off the canvas and raising it into the air once more. When he lets go, the arm falls right back to the canvas, hitting with a loud thud.

 

COACH

That’s two!

 

CABOOSE

One more time and it’s over for The Current Big Thing!

 

The fans begin clapping and stomping in unison as they try to rally Brock back into the thing, but it appears to be too little, too late as Brock lies on the mat with his eyes rolled up into the back of his head. Bryte tightens his grip on the hold and begins screaming at Patrick: “Check him, Patrick! He’s done! He’s done”! The claps and stomps grow louder as Patrick moves in to check the arm for the third and final time.

 

COLE

This is it, gang. If it falls this time, Brock Ausstin is history.

 

Patrick slowly raises the arm and holds it up there momentarily, seemingly reluctant to release it. He eventually does so, however, and the arm…

 

 

 

…the arm…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…THE ARM STAYS UP!

 

COLE

It didn’t drop! Brock’s not out of this one yet!

 

CABOOSE

He will be! Tighter, Bryte! Tighter!

 

Bryte tries to tighten his grip, but the crowd’s cheers have again brought Brock back into the match. With them willing him on, Brock manages to roll over onto his hands and knees, and with Bryte still riding his back, he pushes himself back to a vertical base. A collective gasp comes up from the crowd as Brock rides Bryte on his back piggyback-style before charging backwards and sandwiching him up against the buckle! Again! One more time and the hold is broken!

 

COLE

He’s done it! Brock Ausstin has managed to escape the hold!

 

Brock breathes deep, labored breaths as he staggers out to a kneeling position in the center of the ring, trying as best he can to get air back into his body. Meanwhile, Bryte lay in the corner grimacing as he clutches at his lower back. Brock takes a moment or two to gather himself before returning to his feet and going after Bryte once more. However, upon reaching him, Bryte tips up against the turnbuckles and locks on a headscissors, figure fouring his legs around Brock’s head in an attempt to choke him out once again. The ref admonishes Bryte, since he’s got the hold applied in the ropes, but that doesn’t stop Brock from fighting the hold furiously. He desperately pounds Bryte’s upper thigh with fist after fist, trying to force him to loosen his grip. And he does loosen it, and once he does, Brock hooks him around the waist and whips him up onto his shoulders. Bryte’s eyes open wide with shock as Brock whips him right back down with a powerbomb onto the buckles. Dazed, Bryte staggers forward, at which point, Ausstin runs to the ropes and comes off with—

 

COLE

THE PAIN~! BROCK AUSSTIN JUST BROUGHT THE PAIN TO CHRIS BRYTE, AND THIS BUILDING HAS EXPLODED!

 

The crowd comes to its feet as Brock turns Bryte inside out with a NASTY spear! However, he’s unable to capitalize, as the holds used by Bryte have left him exhausted on the canvas. The ref puts the count down on both men as in the background, the fans’ support of Brock continues.

 

LET’S GO AUSSS-TIIIIIIN

 

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP!

 

LEEET’S GOOO AAAAUUUUSSSS-TIIIIIIIN!

 

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP!

 

COACH

The crowd’s getting behind Brock again!

 

CABOOSE

What is with these people?! How the hell can they cheer Brock Ausstin, especially when he’s facing Chris Bryte?!

 

The chants continue as both men struggle to get back to their feet. Bryte uses the ropes to pull himself up first, then heads over to Brock to go on the attack. However, Brock springs to lift and catches Bryte with a knee to the midsection to double him over. Another one sends Bryte stumbling back into the ropes, at which point Brock takes him by the arm and whips him to the opposite side, catching him coming off with a knee deep into the gut! Bryte’s momentum takes him over into a seated position…

 

CRACK!

 

…allowing Brock to return the favor from earlier with a hard kick between the shoulder blades!

 

CRACK!

 

Another causes Bryte to scream in pain. Then, Brock grabs Bryte by the hair and begins ripping into him with a series of crossface forearms! To the jaw! To the eye! To the bridge of the nose!

 

COLE

Brock Ausstin is beating the living hell outta Chris Bryte!

 

And the crowd is loving every bit of it. Bryte scrambles back to feet, only to be mowed down with a hard shoulderblock, which Brock follows up with a running elbow drop right to the throat! Bryte rolls over onto his hands and knees, clutching at his injured throat, but has no time to tend to it as Brock whips him up off the canvas and into a standing headscissors. The crowd cheers loudly as Brock lifts Bryte off the canvas and brings him down hard with I’M GOING TO EAT YOUR SOUL (sitout powerbomb). The referee slides into position for the count…

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Just TWOOOOOOO!

 

 

COLE

That was close! That was really close!

 

Brock questions the official about the count, but he maintains that it was only two, at which point, Brock lifts Bryte back to a standing position. He hooks him for a pumphandle—NO! Rake at the face by Bryte changes his plans! Swift kick at Brock’s right knee from the Bryte man! A second nearly causes Brock’s knee to buckle. Feeling the momentum shifting, Bryte hits the ropes, and rebounds—

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

Only to get dropped by a Clothesline of Mass Destruction! A dazed Bryte quickly returns to his feet, only to be doubled over by a boot to the midsection! Brock pulls Bryte into another standing headscissors and whips him up onto his right shoulder as if going for a Canadian backbreaker. However, Brock instead charges forward, driving Bryte sternum first into the top turnbuckle Rick Steiner-style! And with Bryte draped across the top turnbuckle, Brock begins to unload upon him, hammering him with hard punches to the kidney and the upper back. He then shoves Bryte up onto the buckle and climbs up onto the ropes with him, lifting him up in a fireman’s carry as he perches himself up on the top rope. The crowd begins to clamor once more.

 

COLE

Oh my God! Don’t tell me…

 

COACH

He’s not gonna F-STUNNER-5 him from the top rope, is he?

 

As nice as that would be, that’s not what Brock has planned. Instead, he falls back from the top with Bryte on his shoulders, nearly driving him through the canvas with a devastating Samoan drop! Bryte’s body quivers in pain on the mat, but Brock is hurt as well, having hit his head upon delivering the move. He’s a bit slow to cover, but eventually manages to roll himself over and cover Chris Bryte, and referee Nick Patrick slides into position to count the fall.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

3—WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!

 

 

COLE

THAT WAS THREE, DAMN IT! THAT WAS THREE!

 

COACH

What the hell?!

 

At the last second, The Hand reached into the ring and pulled the ref to the outside, breaking up the count. The crowd boos in the background as Brock pulls himself up from the pin with a look of bewilderment on his face.

 

COLE

Can you believe that son of a bitch?

 

CABOOSE

Yeah. I can’t believe the ref would just dive out of the ring like that…

 

COLE

Are you kidding me?! The Hand pulled him out! That no good bastard may have just cost Brock this thing!

 

Angered, Brock heads over to the ropes and begins to argue with The Hand. Suddenly, a roar of boos comes up from the crowd, and the camera focuses upon the entrance, showing Kevin Yancy Taylor rushing down to the ring.

 

COLE

Oh God, here comes Taylor now!

 

CABOOSE

Yup! Things are getting a little too heated out here now, and he’s just here to make sure things remain ordered for his team.

 

COLE

Somehow I doubt that!

 

As Brock is preoccupied with The Hand, the camera focuses on Bryte, who’s loading his kickpad up with what looks to be a steel plate. Bryte holds his finger over his mouth, telling the crowd to be quiet.

 

COLE

Aww hell! Bryte’s gonna try and steal this thing.

 

The crowd is booing wildly as Bryte waits for Brock to turn around, and when he does, Bryte fires off a huge roundhouse kick…

 

 

 

THAT’S CAUGHT!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

Bryte has a look of shock on his face as Ausstin holds the boot in his hand. Before Brock’s able to capitalize, though, The Hand climbs up onto the apron and hooks him for a double chicken wing! A seemingly angry Taylor climbs up onto the apron, yelling and screaming at The Hand to let Brock go. He doesn’t listen, and with Brock’s arm tied up, Bryte lines him up for another roundhouse kick that…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MISSES, AND CATCHES THE HAND INSTEAD!!!!!

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

COLE

The Hand is down!!! The Hand…he just got kicked with that same boot that Bryte loaded that plate into! He’s out like a light, and now watch Brock! Brock’s got Bryte set up!

 

Indeed. The crowd comes to its feet as Brock lifts Bryte up onto his shoulders with another fireman’s carry. Bryte tries to escape, but to no avail as Brock turns to the main camera and spins him off his shoulders with the F-STUNNER-5!!!!! The crowd goes wild as Bryte’s body hits off the canvas, at which point, Brock covers him for the…

 

CROWD

1…2…3!!!!!

 

 

 

 

COLE

Brock’s got it won! He hit the damn F-Stunner-5! Where’s the ref?!

 

He’s out on the floor with Taylor, who’s trying to talk him into getting some help for The Hand, who’s still out from that errant kick from Bryte. In the ring, Brock pulls himself up to a knee and looks in Taylor’s direction with a look of bewilderment on his face. Suddenly, the Illuminators rush out from the back with light tubes in hand. Illuminator 1 slides into the ring on Brock’s blind side, winds up and…

 

 

CRASH!

 

SHATTERS his light tube over the back of Brock’s head. Brock falls to the mat unconscious, at which point, Illuminator 2 slides in and rolls Bryte on top of him. Both men slip out of the ring and escape into the crowd like thieves in the night. No sooner than they leave does Nick Patrick turn his attention back to the ring, spotting the pinfall. He slides back in, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the ring has been covered with HUGE SHARDS OF GLASS and counts the fall!

 

 

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!

 

 

DING DING DING!

 

**Cue “It’s Goin’ Down”

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner: CHRRRIS…BRRRRRYYYYYYYTE!!!!!

 

On the outside, Taylor turns his attention away from The Hand and back to the ring, seemingly in amazement!

 

COLE

Chris Bryte has just won this match, damn it! The Illuminators with the outside interference thanks to that distraction by Taylor…

 

CABOOSE

Wait a minute, Cole! I know damn well that you’re not accusing Taylor of being in on that!

 

COLE

He distracted the ref!

 

CABOOSE

I don’t think he did it purposely! He was genuinely concerned about The Hand’s well-being! He wouldn’t intentionally try to screw one of his men out of a match!

 

COLE

I dunno what the deal is here! Brock Ausstin has been laid out thanks to that light tube, and Chris Bryte is your winner…damn it!

 

Bryte rolls to the outside and into Taylor’s arms. Bryte immediately starts back to the locker room with Taylor steadying him as they get further and further up the aisle. One can’t help but notice Taylor peeping over his shoulder to where Brock lay injured in the ring; he has a look of concern on his face as he and Bryte disappear through the locker room curtains.

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

(We go to a locker room where Alix Spezia is staring blankly at the ceiling. Her moment of peace is interrupted by the Global Party Exchange who have come to wish her good luck. Their appearance on screen elicits an enormous pop from the fans in the arena and those watching on the casino floor.)

 

SCOTTY

Hey Al, you okay? You look like you seen a ghost.

 

JOHNNY

Or Scotty naked.

 

SCOTTY

Man, I can’t help it! It’s a medical condition! Besides, my mom says you can’t even see that third nipple when you turn the lights real low.

 

JOHNNY

What the? Man, I don’t even wanna know..

 

SCOTTY

You don’t wanna know but do you wanna see?

 

JOHNNY

Nope!

 

SCOTTY

Killjoy.

 

(Alix ignores the rather disturbing exchange between the two former tag team champions)

 

ALIX

I know I can beat Zack, but do you think I can beat him? I was on the website earlier today, and eighty five percent of the people who voted thought that Zack was going to cream me..

 

SCOTTY

I got some “cream” for ya. Heheheee. Wait, I ain’t mean to say that aloud.

 

JOHNNY

Uh, yeah. Anyway, them polls is rigged like a carnival game. Zack’s probably got Uncle Malibu, Cousin Jimmy Jack Malibu, Grandma Bessie Malibu, all eighty thousand of the Malibu clan clogging up that website tryin to to punch his chad! He’s stealin the vote like he was running for president.

 

ALIX

You didn’t answer my question, dude.

 

SCOTTY

If I can beat off..I mean if Josh can beat him, odd slip of the tongue, then you sure as hell can. I don’t know where that ‘beat off’ comment from. Odd. Straight out of nowhere. Poof! Heh heh. Is it hot in here or is it just..

 

JOHNNY

Dawg, it’d be in your best interest if you didn’t try to finish that sentence. Yo, Scotty, Leon, Josh, me and the thousands of fans in Las Vegas (crowd pop) all got mad faith in you!

 

SCOTTY (mumbling)

I got something else I wanna put in you.

 

ALIX

What? Scotty, did you say something?

 

SCOTTY

Huh? No. Me? No. Nothing. Nothing at all. I didn’t say anything. Not me. It may have sounded like I said something, but what I really said was nothing. And while that nothing may have sounded like something, I assure you it was in fact nothing. Yep. I mean, no... (whispering to Jackson)Johnny, bail a brotha out, holmes.

 

JOHNNY

Point is, of course you can whup Malibu’s ass. That straight up ain’t no joke! If he tries any funny shit or if anything goes down that ain’t supposed to go down when its going down, you got back. Damn it, Scotty, now you got me doing it! I meant we got your back.

 

SCOTTY

Word life.

 

JOHNNY

Gimmick infringer.

 

SCOTTY

Shiiiiiiiit, I’ve been saying that since 1979.

 

JOHNNY

Son, you weren’t even alive in 1979.

 

SCOTTY

Playa, you don’t know me or my history. I’m an outlaw! Quick on the draw.

 

(Johnny cocks his fist like he’s about to punch his partner and Scotty drops to the ground and begs for dear mercy!)

 

SCOTTY(trembling with fear)

Don’t hurt me!

 

ALIX

Amazing. There are two people who are even stranger then I am!

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

COLE

Fans, we hope you're enjoying OAOAST Climax as much as you've enjoyed the rest of your holiday season. Right now we're gearing up for another interesting matchup, one not finalized until just one week ago. Two weeks ago, Alix Spezia of all people showed up once again in the OAOAST and targetted The Franchise, Zack Malibu, leading...

 

CABOOSE

Leading to the massacre you'll see in just a few moments.

 

COLE

Now hold on, Zack has had his fair share of trouble with the opposite sex this year. Something I never thought I'd have to say about him.

 

COACH

Damn true, playa. My babygirl took him to the limit and then some this summer, and now it's deja vu for the 'Bu.

 

CABOOSE

For once, I can somewhat understand you, but here's my take. Zack Malibu has dealt with so much this past year. This upswing in the company of all these ungrateful rookies, looking to upstage everything that men like myself, but especially that man did. Now finally, he finds some solace in people that trust and respect him, namely Black T, his partners in the tag team championship trio The Original Elite...and then this hussy, whose mad about her old boyfriend or has these delusions of being worthy to get in the ring with Zack shows up and attacks him, costs him a victory against that raging flamebait Josh Matthews, and manages to get herself booked on the final PPV of 2004 against him? He's above this, he's above her, and I think the whole scenario just flat out sucks.

 

COLE

Can we continue? Buffer's gotta pee.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, let's continue. The sooner this is over with, the better. Alix Spezia...pssh.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

In the ring, Michael Buffer, ever the formal announcer, holds the mic up, which is decorated by a little mini wreath wrapped around the center of it.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, and will be contested under Falls Count Anywhere Rules!

 

COLE

WHAT!?!?!

 

CABOOSE

Sounds like Alix just got a belated Christmas present from Zack Malibu!

 

"Anything But Me" hits, and the crowd greets the lovely Alix with a gracious reception as she steps through the curtain, dressed in festive red and green. Despite the surprising announcement by Michael Buffer, Alix jogs down the ramp, slingshotting herself over the ropes and into the ring, springing to her feet and perkily bouncing around the ring, arms raised.

 

CABOOSE

The fact she's so oblivious to what's coming her way is sort of cute.

 

COACH

I think it's the outfit that does it for me.

 

As Alix warms up in the ring, the lights dim, and the eery opening to Papa Roach's "Getting Away With Murder" causes the fans to switch gears from cheers to jeers, as the most heralded star in OAOAST history is about to arrive on the scene.

 

The festive mood takes a downturn as Zack Malibu, holding the hand of the lovely femme fatale known as Candie enters the arena. The air fills with boos as soon as the duo comes into sight, the memories of the last 8 months of 2004 still fresh in everyone's minds.

 

COLE

It started in April with one chain shot to Sly Sommers, and has snowballed week after week, month after month. Everytime Zack Malibu shows his face, it seems he's even more hated than ever!

 

CABOOSE

Do you think that matters to him? You think he cares what they think, what you think...what ANYONE thinks? Zack Malibu doesn't need to carry that burden with him, because he has proven that he is better than the peons in the stands and the hacks in our dressing room!

 

COACH

Except Crystal!

 

CABOOSE

Tell you what, Coach. I've got a plan. You know how you have to kiss what's under the mistletoe?

 

COACH

Yeah.

 

CABOOSEcoo

I'll hang it from my back pocket, and you can kiss my ass.

 

Malibu and Candie step off the raised rampway and enter the squared circle, where both Alix and referee Tim White await. Buffer turns to exit the ring, but Malibu stops him, grabbing him by the shoulder and taking the mic before ushering the ring announcer out through the ropes.

 

COLE

Oh great, must be open mic night.

 

CABOOSE

You're a very bitter little man when it comes to Malibu, aren't you?

 

As usual with Malibu when he's ready to speak his mind, the fans do not let him, instead preventing him from talking by overpowering him with a strong chant.

 

"YOU TAPPED OUT!"

 

"YOU TAPPED OUT!"

 

Despite it happening four months ago, the memories of Zack Malibu surrendering his title to the Female Phenom are still fresh in his mind, and he scowls at the taunting crowd before carrying on.

 

MALIBU

First off, you people need some new material.

 

The crowd boos loudly, as Zack snickers at his own comeback.

 

MALIBU

Now, the important issue of the evening has to do with myself, and of course the lovely Ms. Spezia here. Alix my dear, I'm sure you heard the announcement just before we got out here, that this contest is a Falls Count Anywhere match. I figured that it would be a nice Christmas gift for the girl who thinks she can beat me anytime, anywhere. Tonight is your chance to prove that you're worthy of being in this ring...in this company. Personally, I don't see the redeeming value of keeping you around. Northstar probably did it so he had someone to make him look less feminine, but he's ancient history thanks to moi. Now tonight, you'll join him as another statistic, another notch in my belt, because I'm Zack Malibu...I AM THE OAOAST, and I'm not going to let some jezebel with delusions of grandeur get in my way ag...

 

THUNK!

 

The mic bounces off the apron, as Alix Spezia knocks the mic out of Zack's hand, and then begins to fire off forearm shots, staggering him! Tim White quickly calls for the bell, watching the action as Alix sends Zack towards the ropes, and lowers her head, elevating him with a back bodydrop! An irate Candie, still in the ring, scolds Alix for the quick start to the matchup, and Alix replies to her comments...by clotheslining her over the top rope to the floor!

 

COACH

YO!

 

The crowd roars as Candie takes a spill, but when Alix turns around,Malibu takes her and plants her with an inverted atomic drop...TO NO EFFECT! Realizing his mistake, Malibu goes to grab Alix again, but she kicks him in the stomach then takes him by the waist, rocking him with the very manuever he just tried on her! As Zack hunches over, Alix rushes to the ropes and propels towards Zack, delivering a swinging neckbreaker on her way back to him! Malibu instinctively rolls out of the ring to the floor, while Alix basks in a loud crowd applause.

 

CABOOSE

That's it Zack, take some time, get your wind...

 

COLE

Stalling may be an important part of his repetoire these days, but escaping the ring won't matter in a Falls Count Anywhere contest!

 

Malibu gets to his feet, helped by Candie, who's still holding her head after being dumped to the floor. Seconds later they look up just in time to see Alix slingshot over the ropes with a pescado, but the golden couple each reach up and catch her, holding her in their arms and then shoving her back into the ring under the bottom rope. Zack climbs back up on the apron, watching as Alix pushes herself up off the canvas, and then springboards in with a dropkick to Alix...who sidesteps it! The psycho-prep goes crashing to the canvas, but gathers himself rather quickly, although Alix is already bouncing off the ropes and leaps over his back with a sunset flip!

 

ONE!

 

T-ROLL THROUGH! Zack gets to his feet and backs into the ropes, running forward with a YAKUZA KICK! DUCKED! SCHOOLBOY!

 

ONE!

 

TW-KICKOUT! Zack up, Alix up...Malbu levels her with a clothesline, and puts the boots to her! Incensed at the fight of this young spitfire, Malibu drives his boot into her sternum many times before pulling her up by her hair, then dragging her across the ring and heaving her over the ropes, out onto the rampway!

 

COLE

As much as I don't like this, it's perfectly legal tonight.

 

CABOOSE

Unlike the girls Coach is after.

 

COACH

Her ID said 18?

 

CABOOSE

Haven't you heard of fakes?

 

COACH

I don't think she was faking it?

 

CABOOSE

Please tell me we're still talking about the ID.

 

Malibu follows Alix out on the ramp, and as she's trying to get up, he gives her a hand...and uses it to grab a chunk of her hair, yanking her up and then snapping her down onto the ramp with a Russian legsweep!

 

COLE

That was a sickening thud!

 

With Alix down, Malibu stands over her, shouting in her face "this is MY company" and stomping her some more before bracing himself by holding onto the top rope, and then driving the sole of his foot into her throat!

 

COACH

He's chokin' Alix!

 

CABOOSE

It's better way for her to go than by choking on the...

 

COLE

Don't say it, 'Boose. I know where you're going with that.

 

CABOOSE

And here I thought Coachman was our resident pervert.

 

White pleads with Zack to break, but there's nothing he can do about it, as Falls Count Anywhere matches have no holds barred. Zack finally releases on his own accord, and picks Alix up from the ramp, holding her in a front facelock and then lifting her up in the air, showing off some power as he holds her upside down for a vertical suplex. Rather than snap her backwards, Malibu drops her forward, letting her legs bounce off the top rope before suplexing her onto the ramp!

 

COLE

Slingshot suplex by the self proclaimed Savior, and Alix has got to find a way to turn the tide before Malibu resorts to drastic measures.

 

Alix cries in pain, her back hurting after being dropped with such force on the ramp. Malibu sits up, snickering to himself, then gets to his feet and hovers over his foe, reaching down and lightly slapping the back of her head in playful fashion, taunting the COD member. Once again he takes her by the hair and hoists her up, but as he's doing so Alix nails him low, taking him off his game! She collapses back to the mat, while Zack falls onto his knees, his mouth hanging open in painful shock! Alix gets up, stunning the already hurting Malibu with right hands before pulling him up to his feet, then pushing him into the ropes and hiptossing him onto the rampway! Alix takes a deep breath and then climbs back into the ring, then heads up the turnbuckles, balancing herself on the top rope as she waits on Zack. Malibu gets up and looks around, not seeing his rival anywhere near him...until he looks up and sees her soar through the sky, crashing down on him with a flying bodypress! Alix tries to hook a leg, keeping Zack down for the pin, but he quickly shoves her small frame off of him, and scrambles to his feet. Alix moves forward, doing her best to hold onto her advantage over the former World Champion, but as she moves in Zack gets hold of her and raises her up into the air, pressing her over his head and walking closer to the ropes, then hurls back into the ring, letting her crash unceremoniously to the canvas!

 

COLE

He's not taking this match seriously at all! He's just tossing her around like a ragdoll.

 

COACH

That's Alix, Mikey.

 

COLE

I said A ragdoll, not THE ragdoll.

 

COACH

What about him?

 

COLE

Who?

 

COACH

Ragdoll. He's not in this match.

 

COLE

I know that Jonathon.

 

COACH

Then why are we talking about him?

 

CABOOSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!

 

Malibu steps back into the ring, and seeing Alix starting to get up, runs at her and delivers a soccer kick to the ribs that doubles her over. Once again, Malibu takes her up to her feet by pulling her hair, backing her into the corner and then sending her across the ring, crashing into the opposite one! Zack charges, but Alix manages to move out of the way in the nick of time, and as he staggers, Alix jumps onto his back, locking him in a sleeperhold! Malibu wanders around the ring, trying to get Alix off his back, but she clutches him with all her might, not letting go and trying her damndest to wear her hated opponent down!

 

COLE

It could be sweet dreams for Zack Malibu if he can't get out of this one!

 

Malibu struggles, nearly falling over as he moves about, trying to shake Alix off. Finally, he backs into a corner, crushing Alix against the turnbuckles, but she quickly recovers and pushes herself up on the top rope, leaping off as soon as Zack turns around and swinging him over with a flying huracanrana! Malibu shakes the cobwebs loose and gets to his feet in a hurry, but Alix rushes towards him, jumping up and monkey flipping him onto his back! The Franchise goes crashing to the canvas, as Alix gets her second wind, getting in a crouching position and waiting on Zack to get to his feet before charging him, wrapping her arm around his head and swinging around through the air, driving him to the mat with a DDT...NO! Malibu holds onto her and props her up on the top rope, then stuns her with a blistering open hand chop! Alix cries in agony, as Malibu climbs up the ropes himself...but before he can do anything Alix shoves him off, and he crotches himself on the top rope! Malibu straddles the rope, obviously in a great deal of pain, and cannot react when Alix pushes herself up on the top rope and leaps off, connecting with a missle dropkick that knocks Malibu out of the ring and onto the ramp!

 

COLE

Alix Spezia is dominating Zack Malibu right now!

 

CABOOSE

Alix Spezia is getting extremely lucky right now, Cole.

 

Malibu rolls around on the ramp, clutching his...well, you know. Candie rushes up the stairs to the ramp and checks on her beau, but moments later finds her hair grabbed by Alix, who reaches over the ropes and yanks Candie into the ring! Candie gets up, holding her head and berating Alix for what she did, then calls her on! The two women circle each other, as the fans grow wilder and wilder, rooting on both females as they break out in a...

 

*wait for it*

 

*waaaaaait for it*

 

...

 

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

 

COACH

THIS is what I came to see!

 

The two women roll around on the mat, as the testosterone levels in the arena reach their peak, all eyes on the two divas duking it out. They brawl to their feet, and Candie backs Alix into the ropes, sending her in...but Alix reverses, and leaps up onto her shoulders, snapping her over with a huracanrana! Candie is taken off her game, as she scrambles to get up by pulling herself up by the ropes...but turns just in time to see a charging Alix, arm outstretched, clothesline her back to the floor!

 

COLE

Alix Spezia has just taken Candie out of the picture!

 

"ALIX!"

 

"ALIX!"

 

The crowd is firmly behind Northstar's former love, and she pumps her fists up in show of appreciation. Now that Candie is done with, she turns her attention back to her opponent, who has crawled back into the ring...AND POPS UP AND GRABS HER...ROCK BOTTOM BACKBREAKER SNAPS HER OVER HIS KNEE!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

CABOOSE

That's it Zack, break that little girl in two!

 

Malibu once again furiously stomps Alix Spezia, then pulls her up and tosses her hard into the corner! Malibu follows closely, wrapping her in a front waistlock and pulling her away from the turnbuckles, only to drive her backwards, smashing her back into them! Alix staggers forward, and Malibu again grabs the front waistlock, this time hurling her over his head with a release Northern Lights Suplex that sends her crashing to the canvas! With Alix down, Malibu rolls out of the ring and checks on Candie momentarily before growing wild eyed, incensed that Alix has put her hands on his love. Malibu reaches over the guardrail and knocks a beer out of a fans hand, and when said fan questions the action, Zack shoves him out of his seat, then takes the chair into his hands! Zack folds up the chair and slides into the ring with it, stalking Alix Spezia while smiling evily!

 

COLE

I don't like the looks of this, and...wait, why's the crowd cheering?

 

Malibu berates Alix, but unbeknowst to him, JOSH MATTHEWS has sprinted down the rampway! Malibu takes the chair over his head...but Josh steals it away from him and throws it down! Zack turns around, and Josh catches him off guard with a right hand...and another one...and another one, and the well dressed announcer is getting the better of Zack Malibu once again! He goes to whip Zack into the ropes, but Zack changes gears and pulls Josh towards him, driving a knee into his gut and then setting him up for the FALLING STAR DRIVER~!...BUT ALIX PULLS JOSH TO SAFETY! Josh thanks his lucky stars, and looks lovingly into Alix's eyes for a split second...BEFORE MALIBU TURNS AROUND AND CRACKS HIM WITH SCHOOL'S OUT!

 

CABOOSE

OMGROFLMAO2004! That was beautiful! What a moment!

 

Alix looks down at Josh in sorrow and shock, as Malibu spins her back around and preps her (no pun intended) for the Falling Star Driver...BUT SHE SMALL PACKAGES HIM!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Malibu quickly gets up, and Alix, incensed that Zack broke up the lovey-doveyness between she and J. Math, charges, only to be backdropped over the top rope to the ramp...but lands on her feet! She takes Zack and turns him to face her, suplexing him over the ropes and to the ramp...NO! He slides out, landing behind her and carries her overhead with a release German Suplex, the back of her neck smashing against the hard raised ramp!

 

COLE

She might have broken her neck just then! She's got to be in immense pain!

 

Malibu gets up, having grown incredibly infuriated with the interference of Josh Matthews and the persistence of the lovely Alix. He reaches down and picks her up, knocking her hands away as she favors her neck. Malibu looks out to the crowd and easily scoops up the smaller Spezia, cradling a leg while supporting her head in his other arm...

 

FALLING STAR DRIVER ON THE RAMPWAY!

 

COLE

MY GOD NO!

 

Alix's head sickly bounces off the rampway, the impact of the move taking every last ounce of adrenaline out of her. Malibu looks over at her beaten body and...lays down next to her, rolling her onto his chest!??!!

 

COLE

What the hell?

 

CABOOSE

Don't tell me he's going the Coachman route.

 

COACH

Yeah...HEY!

 

Tim White, obviously as perplexed as the rest of us, looks down at Malibu and Alix, ready to make a count...and is egged on by Zack, who screams "Count to three!"

 

COLE

What is he doing?

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

What did we just see? What is going through that man's head?

 

"Anything But Me" cues up, but Alix hardly looks victorious, despite scoring the rather confusing win. A shaken Candie walks through the ring and starts to come out to the ramp, but Zack tells her to stay put, as he instead enters the ring, and waves to Buffer to toss him the mic.

 

MALIBU

Look at you, all of you wondering why I just did what I did, right? Why little Alix Spezia, the girl with the dream, is laying on that rampway broken, bruised...and a winner? Let me tell you something...I'll break it down so everyone from the virgin in the Anglesault T-Shirt to Michael Cole, to even my lovely Candie can understand. Tonight, I showed the world exactly what I have proven time and time again...that Zack Malibu cannot be beaten unless he decides he wants to be. A victory over Alix Spezia wouldn't mean anything to me, because just like each and every one of you, she's worthless. Dumb luck and a contract given to her back when her equally feminine better half was in charge is what got her here. Not ability, not talent or looks. Luck and favortism. Well, in my company, I don't take kindly to people who are able to just "get by". So Alix, you got what you wanted...you beat the big, bad Zack Malibu live on PPV, at the last PPV of the year? Does it mean as much to you as you thought it would? How does it feel to know that your victory came by MY CHOICE!? YOU DIDN'T BEAT ME TONIGHT, ALIX! YOU COULD NEVER BEAT ME! TONIGHT, THE ONLY PERSON THAT BEAT ZACK MALIBU WAS ZACK MALIBU! YOU HEAR ME, ALIX? I BEAT ME! I BEAT ME!

 

Malibu throws down the mic and goes to storm out to the ramp, but referee White, who is checking on Alix, orders him to stay back. Even Candie is holding back her beau, as he runs his hands through his hair and sneers at the crowd.

 

COLE

He's gone completely insane. He's seriously lost it. Now he's LETTING people beat him? I'll never figure him out.

 

CABOOSE

No one asked you to, Freud, but here's how you look at it. Alix Spezia wanted to be our inspirational hero. She was obviously trying to take a page out of Crystal's book, and we know what that whole situation did to Zack. Tonight, he curbed it in one shot, giving her her "big win" and piece of mind before she took things too far, and got hurt. Now, she can ride off into the sunset with something under her belt, and her little boytoy by her side, while the REAL athletes like Zack Malibu can move on with their lives.

 

As several more OAOAST staff come out to aid both Alix and Josh Matthews, Zack and Candie leave the ring to stunned silence, as the confused crowd is not sure what to make of Zack Malibu's actions tonight. Rest assured, 2004 has been an odd year when it comes to the Franchise, and it doesn't appear that things will get easier for the OAOAST in 2005.

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

CLIMAX

FIRST BLOOD MATCH

New New Midnight Express vs. Hell's Hitmen

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the FIRST BLOOD match. Before the contestants make their way to the ring, let us all find out who the special enforcer is for this match.

 

Eerie Middle Eastern music begins blasting through the speakers as a large man with pointy, curly boots, a KENDO STICK and the biggest MAN BOOBS in the world emerges on the rampway.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, from the Sudan, the legendary ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER!

 

COLE

Oh, my!

 

The most sinister smile etched on his face, Abdullah the Butcher waddles to the ring, his legendary man boobs giggling with every step. This looks like a man who's come to fight, not officiate. He doesn't even have a referee's shirt on.

 

CABOOSE

What the...? That man is crazy! Who the hell thought it was a good idea letting a man known for stabbing his opponents with a fork referee a match?

 

COACH

He's not a referee; he's a "special enforcer." And Abdullah the Butcher fits the bill -- and then some.

 

CABOOSE

Shut up, Coach. You and Cole probably have no idea who that is. He must be in his 70s.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, from Beverly Hills, California, weighing a combine 465 pounds, Jim Cornette Enterprises presents THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS!

 

"Chase" hits, signaling the arrival of the New New Midnight Express AND Jim Cornette.

 

COLE

If there's any aftershocks from what took place between the 3 and The Saints earlier, it's all gone now or they're doing a good job hiding it. One thing's for sure -- neither Cornette, Simon, or Ned are thrilled about Abdullah the Butcher being the special enforcer.

 

Cornette walks up to Abby, but Abdullah keeps Cornette away by swinging his kendo stick wildly.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents. From the Depths of Hell, weighing 687 pounds, HELL'S HITMEN!

 

"Hit Me Verdi One More Time" drowns out "Chase," and the two big monsters begin powerwalking to the ring. The NNMX meet Hell's Hitmen head-on once they step between the ropes. The two teams exchange vicious punches, with Hell's Hitmen eventually overpowering their smaller opponents. JINGUS and The Sadist whip Simon and Ned into the ropes. BACK BODYDROP for both. Hell's Hitmen clothesline the New New Midnight Express out of the ring.

 

* DING DING *

 

COLE

We're officially underway now, but both teams started minutes ago.

 

JINGUS flies off the top rope, connecting with a DOUBLE FLYING CLOTHESLINE. The Devilman rams "Narcissistic" Ned HEADFIRST into the STEEL GUARD RAIL. The first sign of either team trying to draw First Blood. "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton jumps on JINGUS' back, nearly dropping the big man to his knees, but he manages to stay on his feet.

 

WHAM!

 

The Sadist whacked Simon from behind with a brutal CHAIRSHOT. Then he tries driving Simon headfirst into the ringpost but Simon manages to cushion the blow by using his right hand to block part of his face. On the other side of the ring, JINGUS has Ned over his right shoulder like a sack of potatos, ramming him shoulderfirst into the ringposts. Jim Cornette sneaks behind JINGUS and nails him with his TENNIS RACKET. JINGUS no sells the racket, dropping Ned and decking James E. with a right hand. But that gives Ned enough time to hit J with a low blow. Front facelock by Blanchard. He lifts JINGUS up, uses the GUARD RAIL as a SPRINGBOARD and suplexes JINGUS to the floor. SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!

 

COACH

Awesome move by Ned. They've incapacitated JINGUS, who, because of his mask, you'd think would be the hardest man to make bleed unless they managed to rip it off.

 

Ned gets up...CLOTHESLINE. The Sadist hit Blanchard with a running clothesline that nearly took his head off, turning "Narcissistic" Ned inside out.

 

BOOM!

 

"Sarcastic" Simon is stunned. He just hammered The Sadist in the back with a chairshot that had absolutely no effect. The Sadist rips the chair away from Simon's hands and repeatedly bashes it against his OWN SKULL before taking out Simon. Then Ned. Then JINGUS! The Sadist grunts sinisterly.

 

CABOOSE

That guy is an idiot. Not only did he take out his own partner, but he's lucky he didn't bust himself wide open from the chairshots he gave himself.

 

COACH

Listen to this crowd. They're going crazy for the insane action they just witnessed. They don't care for either team, but they are loving these 4 men beat the living daylights out of each other. This is what the OAOAST is all about, baby.

 

Cornette frantically waves towards the back.

 

BOO!

 

The crowd rise to their feet. THE SAINTS come marching in!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! Reinforcements.

 

COLE

But whose side are they on?

 

CABOOSE

What?!

 

Synth and Logan SPEAR The Sadist through the GUARD RAIL. OAOAST and arena security immediate block the arena so we don't have a Pacers-Pistons incident. The Saints pull out a pair of HANDCUFFS.

 

COLE

Not this again.

 

The Saints cuff JINGUS to the guard rail then toss The Sadist into the ring. The first time since the opening minutes action has taken place in the ring. And the bell hadn't even rang yet. So this is officially the first time we've had action in the ring. But The Saints aren't in this match. Screw it. This is chaotic.

 

Cornette hands Logan the tennis racket, and Mann goes right to work -- hammering JINGUS' body with the racket. Cornette calls for the DDT. The Saints place the racket on the mat and drive JINGUS headfirst onto it with a double-PERCUSSION (DDT). James E. jumps for joy on the outside, feeling this match is in the bag now. "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissisitc" Ned enter the ring, and they have a showdown with The Saints.

 

COACH

I don't think those four-letter words spewing out of their mouths is about dinner.

 

The Saints shove the NNMX, who respond by pushing The Saints into the corner. An "NNMX" chant breaks out. Cornette can't break the teams up. But Abdullah the Butcher can. Which upsets Cornette. "This is family business, brother." Well, Abby makes it his business, pulling out a FORK, and jamming it into Cornette's tie which he stabs to the top turnbuckle. The Saints and the New New Midnight Express put all their troubles behind them, as they defend the honor of their manager, attacking Abdullah. The Madman from Sudan does his best to fight back, but his younger attackers are just too much to handle.

 

CABOOSE

Check out Synth.

 

Synth pounds Abdullah's forehead until he draws blood, which wasn't hard to do considering The Butcher's past. Outside the ring, JINGUS uses all the force he has to BREAK THE HANDCUFFS. He slides back into the ring and begins clearing house. Punches for everybody. Synth, Logan, Simon and Ned. Synth bails outside, leaving the other 3 members of Jim Cornette Enterprises to take the beating.

 

BURNING HAMMER (Reverse DVD) for Logan. The NNMX ram JINGUS into the corner. JINGUS whipped to the ropes.

 

FLAPJACK!

 

But he gets right back up! Simon and Ned can't believe it. Meanwhile, Synth pulls out the fork which kept James E. still on the top turnbuckle, slamming it on the mat. The Afro King grabs Cornette's tennis racket. Like a scene out of a comedy, Synth tip-toes behind JINGUS with the racket in hand. The NNMX hit the ropes. JINGUS ducks just as Synth swings for the fences...or the back of JINGUS' head, in this case.

 

BOOM!

 

COLE

Oh! He hit the wrong man! Synth just clobbered Simon right between the eyes.

 

Ned stops dead in his tracks, obviously distracted by the recent turn of events. He looks at Synth who's having trouble digging sometime out of his leather jacket. Cornette is telling Ned to stop looking at Synth and go after the Devilman, but Ned can't help but be upset that Synth took out his partner. JINGUS places his right hand on Blanchard's head, and I don't think he's planning on praying for him. As a matter of fact, JINGUS plans on taking Ned on a one-way ticket straight to the Depths of Hell.

 

CLAWSLAM!

 

Synth finally pulls the object out of his jacket -- A LIGHTER!

 

CABOOSE

One big helping of roasted JINGUS coming up.

 

BOOM!

 

Out of nowhere, The Sadist caught Synth with the BIG BOOT. The Synthmeister drops his lighter as he falls to the mat. JINGUS picks it (the lighter) up. Synth uses the ropes to help pull himself to his feet. He should of just stayed down.

 

FIREBALL!

 

Synth's immediately covers his face with his hands, but his AFRO has caught FIRE as well.

 

COLE

This isn't even a Pepsi commerical.

 

Synth stops, drops and headbutts the canvas, in order to put out the flames. With Abdullah no longer a threat to him, Jim Cornette removes his polyster suit to help put the flames out on Synth's 'fro, then along with Logan rush him backstage.

 

COLE

For the second time tonight, Jim Cornette has abandon his team for The Saints.

 

CABOOSE

I'm a little concerned now. I don't know what's going on.

 

Ned doesn't know what has happened. He's circling around the ring in a dazed after being ClawSlammed. JINGUS kicks Ned in the midsection, and then sticks Blanchard's head between his thighs, lifting him up for a POWERBOMB as The Sadist climbs to the top. He dives off and connects with the FLYING CLOTHESLINE...

 

VIYA con DIOS (God with God -- Powerbomb/flying clothesline combo)!

 

JINGUS grabs the fork used on Cornette earlier in the match. The crowd cheers the Devilman as he teases the idea of stabbing Ned in the forehead. JINGUS shakes his head "no," and hands the fork over to his partner, The Sadist, who nods his head.

 

We see Simon lying out cold near the edge of the ring, as JINGUS sits Ned up. The Sadist repeatedly STABS THE FORK INTO NED'S HEAD! The screams of "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard send chills down the back of everybody who hears him as his blond hair turns crimson red in a matter of seconds, the blood pouring out of Blanchard's forehead like a water fountain. A huge grin on his face, Abdullah the Butcher finally calls for the bell.

 

COLE

Payback is a bitch.

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, HELL'S HITMEN!

 

Hell's Hitmen watch the EMT's rush to the aid of "Narcissistic" Ned, who's twitching in a pool of his own blood. JINGUS and The Sadist begin motioning around their waists. They want the OAOAST tag team championship currently held by The Original Elite.

 

COLE

Hell's Hitmen are sending a message to the OAOAST World tag team champions. They want the belts. What a battle that would be if those two ever hooked 'em up. But what lies ahead for Jim Cornette Enterprises? We've seen James E. side with The Saints, the Midnights were destroyed by the Hitmen. We may have seen the end of J.C.E.

 

CABOOSE

You're always negative, Cole. The truth is -- nobody knows what'll happen.

 

COLE

That's why we invite our fans to tune-in this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, the #1 rated show on Thursday nights. And we also invite our fans to join us for our next pay-per-view event. The road to AngleMania IV begins in January.

 

ANGLEPALOOZA

Sunday, January 30, 2005

 

Call your local cable or satellite company to order today!

Edited December 25, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

BUFFER

The following contest is set for one fall and is for the HI-YAH International Tag Team Championship. Introducing first...

 

Cue: "Quiet"

 

BUFFER

Accompanied to the ringside by the "Farmer of Champions", Jivin' Jim Ross, they are the HI-YAH International Tag Team Champions and two-thirds of The Original Elite, the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, - from Hollywood California, weighing 292lbs - TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOD! His tag team partner, from London, England, weighing 241lbs - Daaaaaaaaaaaan BLLLLLLACK!

 

The Body, wrapped in a sparkling robe, walks down to the ring. JR bounces beside him wearing an immense blue foam cowboy hat, while Dan Black strolls down in black trench coat and dark glasses. Dan and T.Bod have a tag team belt over each shoulder.

 

COLE

Team Black T looking confident as ever, and with good reason. Now forming The Original Elite with Zack Malibu, Dan and T.Bod have more power and influence than ever.

 

COACH

And they've got to be feeling pretty pleased with themselves going into his match with strong singles victories over the members of the Love Doctors.

 

CABOOSE

Just another step to greatness for Black T. We've seen the ease with which Dan and T.Bod won their respective singles matches against the Docs, so this should be a swift and decisive title defence.

 

COLE

We saw the Docs talk on HeldDown about their Windy City Hospital and what wrestling means to them, only for Black T to mock them with a disgusting skit. That may prove a mistake for the champs. The Docs have a tremendous amount of heart, pride and passion. We've seen the dedication they have to this business, and I know they'll give it everything they have.

 

Cue: "Calling Dr. Love"

 

BUFFER

And their opponents and challengers, accompanied by Dr.Feeeeeeeelgood, from Chicago, Illinois, at a total combined weight of 467lbs- Dr. Max Annnnnnnnnnnderson and Dr. Steven PIG-LEY- the LUUUUUUUUURRRRRRVE DOC-TORS!

 

Anderson, Pigley and Feelgood pose briefly on the ramp, before throwing off their med coats, sprinting down and sliding into the ring - only to get jumped immediately! Dan stomps down Pigley as T.Bod throws Anderson into a corner and starts to work him over with body blows. Meanwhile, JR grabs Feelgood by the hair and executes a toss into the middle of the ring! Feelgood gets to her feet, as JR charges like a hippo - and eats a superkick to the face! JR rolls out of the ring, possibly DEAD, as our referee Charles Robinson ushers Feelgood out.

 

Meanwhile Dan and T.Bod pick Pigley up and whip him off the ropes, going for a double team lariat, but Dr. Steven ducks, rebounds and takes them both down with a leaping double lariat of his own!

 

Black rolls out of the ring, as Robinson gets the bout underway.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

A HEINOUS assault from Black T before the bell, but they failed to make the advantage stick, and now Dr.Pigley has the upper hand on T.Bod.

 

Both men are up in the ring, and Pigley peppers T.Bod with punches that have little effect on the bigger man. Dr. Steven with an Irish Whip, but T.Bod reverses it and catches Pigley with a powerslam as he returns, straight into a cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Shoulder up.

 

COLE

T.Bod has so much power, Pigley can't be trying to fling him around the ring like that.

 

COACH

As we've seen when Black T face the GPX, the key to defeating them is speed. Black T have power and technique in abundance, but neither Dan nor T.Bod is a high-flyer.

 

T.Bod brings Pigley up as Dan Black, risen on to the apron, applauds. JR rolls around on the floor clutching a bloody nose behind him. T.Bod whips Steven into a corner, and hits him hard with a running corner clothesline. The Body attempts the move again, but the Doc gets the boots up and knocks T.Bod back.

 

Pigley then gets a dropkick to the back of T.Bod, sending him down onto all fours. Dr. Steven then runs to the ropes and executes a Lionsault, coming down onto the back of T.Bod, squashing him face first into the mat!

 

Dr. Steven jumps and double-stomps upon T.Bod's back, and then drops down with his own back onto T.Bod with a Senton! Pigley steps out onto the apron, grabs the top rope and slingshots himself in with a splash, once again to the back of T.Bod!

 

COLE

What an assault from Dr. Pigley on the back of T.Bod! Steven clearly has a plan here.

 

COACH

T.Bod's power is a huge threat, but if the Docs take out his back it's going to be very hard for him to hit any of his big moves. The Docs have come into this with a strategy.

 

CABOOSE

Meh, they can have all the strategy they like, it won't help. Do you think a few little moves like that will slow down a man like T.Bod?

 

The splash has knocked the wind out of Pigley, and he has to take a moment before moving back towards T.Bod. This allows The Body to begin to pick himself up, and T.Bod meets Pigley with a stiff right hand. The Doc ducks a second punch however, and tags in his partner. Max Anderson quickly climbs to the top rope and hits a missile dropkick to the back of a dis-orientated T.Bod.

 

T.Bod is getting back to his feet, and he runs at Anderson, who gives him a droptoe hold and then an elbow drop to the back. Max stomps away at the injured area, runs the ropes and performs a leaping frog splash onto the back. Anderson then brings T.Bod up and hits him with a couple of chops, but T.Bod fires back with a forearm shot and then a hard DDT on the Doc. Holding his back, T.Bod tags Dan Black.

 

COLE

That's the problem the Docs have here. Max and Steven expended a lot of energy working over T.Bod, but he's been able to take it and tag in the fresh man without too much trouble.

 

Dan puts the boots to Max before bringing him up and into the corner for a series of pectoral splitting knife edge chops that echo into the arena. Black follows with a pair of European uppercuts that leave Anderson groggy and slumped on the ropes. Dan brings Max out of the corner with a quick snap suplex, floating over into a cover -

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Kickout!

 

Black gets Max to his feet and goes to an wristlock, wringing it tight and shaking the arm, causing Dr. Anderson to grimace. Dan then uses his boot to apply pressure to the back of Anderson's left leg, forcing him down to one knee.

 

CABOOSE

Well, at least when Dan's broken the arm, Anderson will be able to put it back together himself, right?

 

Black twists the wrist further, and then puts the sole of his boot on the side of Anderson's face, pushing his head away and really stretching out the arm and shoulder. Max tries to get back to both feet, so Dan uses the boot to kick him sharply in the head.

 

COLE

Dan really working at that arm and shoulder, looking no doubt to set up for his Heart of Ice crossface submission hold.

 

Black then removes his boot from Max's head and just slams the point of his elbow into the shoulder twice, before going for that Heart of Ice. Anderson uses all his strength to resist and stay in the kneeling position. Black slams forearms into the back of Max's neck, and then tries to drag him down once more, but Anderson rolls out of his clutches and applies a waistlock, lifting Dan up and planting him down onto his front with an amateur style take down.

 

Dr. Max then goes to a side headlock, but before he can get it locked on fully Dan is up to one knee. Black spins Anderson around to face him, stands and then hits Max with a Northern Lites suplex with bridge:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR- kickout!

 

Black brings Anderson up and goes to the wristlock once more, but this time Anderson quickly executes a forward roll and then a backflip that breaks Dan's grip. Max runs the ropes and jumps at Dan, grabbing his head in midair and hitting a twisting tornado style DDT! Anderson tags in Dr. Pigley and the Docs whip Black to the ropes. Anderson catches Dan with a leg lariat, and exits the ring. As Black gets to his feet Pigley steps to the apron and springboards off the top rope, grabbing Dan's head and hitting him with a blockbuster!

 

Pigley covers!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T.Bod breaks it up!

 

COACH

Great team work from the Docs, and they're holding their own here against Black T.

 

COLE

That's right, their confidence has got to be rising.

 

CABOOSE

You know- I'm sick of you idiots trying to pretend the Quacks have a chance. I'm not speaking another word in this match till the final bell.

 

COACH

Yes! Now I can make all the Caboose jokes I've been saving! First-

 

CABOOSE

I said I won't talk, not I won't break all your bones and make you into a flabby little jellyfish.

 

Charles Robinson gets T.Bod out as Pigley brings Dan up and whips him into the corner. Dr. Steven follows with a running dropkick to the left arm of Black, followed by an arm drag as Dan moves out of the corner. Pigley then grabs the arm and drops a leg across it.

 

Dr. Steven brings Dan to his feet and places his left arm over the middle rope. Steven then grabs the top rope and swings over it with a knee drop to the shoulder. Black jumps away, clutching the arm, as Pigley lands on the floor next to JR, who's still in distress and clutches at the Doc's red boots.

 

Steven escapes JR's grasp and climbs back into the ring to cut Dan off from tagging T.Bod. Pigley bends Black's arm into a hammerlock and then executes a body slam with the arm still locked.

 

COLE

From Dan going after the arm of Dr. Anderson, it seems like Dr.Pigley has a plan to disable Black's own arm.

 

COACH

Well, the Docs are making good sense here. Take out T.Bod's back to hinder his power moves, and work on Dan's arm to stop him using the Heart of Ice as effectively..

 

COLE

They are Doctors, so its about time we saw some of their knowledge of anatomy used to good effect.

 

CABOOSE

*Sighs*

 

Pigley goes down to cover Dan, but Black throws him off angrily before Charles Robinson can even count one. Steven brings Dan up, but Black is firing now and chops Pigley back towards the Black T corner, whereupon T.Bod grabs Pigley by the hair and slams him down onto his back. Dan grins and tags in T.Bod.

 

T.Bod applies a waistlock to Pigley, and Dan steps back and superkicks Dr.Steven into a German suplex with bridge!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

No! Dr. Anderson breaks it up!

 

COLE

An amazing double team from Black T, and they have Pigley in trouble.

 

COACH

Dr. Steven got kicked in the face and dunked on his head and neck in almost the same instant! The Docs have dominated this match so far, but that could have changed everything.

 

T.Bod brings Pigley up, wincing a little as the effort of the German seems to have strained his back again. The Body underhooks both Pigley's arms and lifts him into the air, twisting him and then dropping Steven down onto T.Bod's outstretched knee with a butterfly backbreaker, perhaps wanting to return the favour for Pigley's earlier assault upon that area. Again though, the strain of the move has hurt T.Bod, and he's slow to get down for the cover:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Kickout!

 

T.Bod glares at Robinson, who assures him it was a 2 count only. The Body gets Pigley up and whips him to the ropes, catching the Doc as he returns with a thunderous lariat that spins Steven over, landing on the back of his head!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR- Kickout!

 

T.Bod looks disgusted, and drops a trio of big elbows across the sternum of the Doc, followed by a Ric Flair style knee drop to the head. T.Bod stands over the fallen medic and we get a little of the old snake hips, but the rotation seems to hurt T.Bod's back!

 

COLE

Wow, T.Bod in more difficulty then we thought!

 

COACH

Pigley has to fire up some offence and take advantage of this.

 

T.Bod brings Pigley up, but Dr. Steven explodes with a jumping enziguiri kick to the back of the head! T.Bod staggers away but doesn't go down, and Pigley starts to roll over to make the tag to his partner. Steven is just inches away when T.Bod tags Dan Black, and the Iceheart is able to dash in and drag Pigley away by his boot.

 

Dan picks Steven up and snapmares him over onto his behind, then fires a pair of hard kicks into the back, before running the ropes and delivering a seated dropkick to the back of his head with a loud CRACK.

 

Black gets Pigley to his feet with the Doc groggy. Dan applies a waistlock, looking for a German suplex, but Pigley runs forward and grabs the top rope. Black lets go reluctantly.

 

COLE

Dr. Pigley wisely evading that suplex. When he and Black went one on one on HeldDown on the 9th of the month, Dan pinned Steven with a Chimera suplex sequence, so Pigley knows to avoid Black's suplexes.

 

COACH

But he still needs that tag to Max Anderson.

 

As Dan releases Pigley, the Doc makes a dash along the ropes to make the tag, but he's tripped by Jivin' JR! The crowd boos the dancing fat man as he gloats. Referee Charles Robinson remonstrates with JR, who argues back, and with Robinson's attention diverted Dan forearms Anderson off the apron, and then gestures T.Bod into the ring, where Black T combine to put the boots to Pigley.

 

Dr. Feelgood, the former Dr. Ima Hoe who helped Black T with a fake medical report, only to then be ditched and thrown from their limousine, jumps into the ring and attacks Dan from behind with a dropkick!

 

COACH

Hey, nice move!

 

COLE

I understand Ima Hoe-

 

CABOOSE

Yes, we all understand that, Cole.

 

COLE

Hey, you said-

 

CABOOSE

Meh, I got bored.

 

T.Bod goes after Ima Hoe, and as Charles Robinson moves to get Ima out of the ring, Dr. Pigley makes the tag to Dr. Anderson! Max jumps into the ring, but Charles turns and stops him, as he didn't see that tag!

 

The crowd boos the decision, as Dan gets to his feet and he and T.Bod resume the assault on Pigley. Black drills Pigley with a belly to back suplex, and then T.Bod hits a legdrop from the second rope. Robinson gets Dr. Max out of the ring just as Black is covering:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEE-Kickout!

 

Black brings Dr. Steven up and applies a front facelock, lifting Pigley up into a vertical suplex. But instead of dropping back, Dan throws Steven back to the mat with a powerbomb! The crowd draws its breath as Pigley's neck is crushed into the canvas!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEE- No, Anderson breaks it up!

 

COLE

The Orange Crush from Dan Black -

 

CABOOSE

You mean BLACK Crush. He invented it, you know.

 

COLE

-and Pigley is taking a beating here.

 

Dan looks frustrated, but bodyslams Pigley into the corner and climbs to the top rope. He mouths "This is over", then flips off the fans on each side of the arena, before leaping off with a diving headbutt - and Pigley rolls aside! Black hits face first and convulses with pain!

 

COLE

Black wanted a big move to put Pigley away, but Steven had something left in the tank!

 

CABOOSE

Stop the tag! Stop the tag!

 

Pigley is rolling over, dragging himself across the mat towards Anderson. Dan Black tries to follow, but he's clearly out of it. Anderson strains for the tag, and Pigley -

 

 

 

- is dragged away by T.Bod into the Black T corner! T.Bod then pulls Dan to the same corner and tags himself in!

Charles Robinson angrily shouts at T.Bod, who just raises an eyebrow.

 

COLE

More cheating from Black T! This is disgusting!

 

COACH

They should really be disqualified, but Robinson knows that would hurt the Docs more than Black T, as they'd lose their chance at the HI-YAH titles, and he's a fair man.

 

COLE

But at some point this cheating is going to put the Doc's health in danger, and then Robinson will have to end the match. How long before we see chairs or brass knucks?

 

CABOOSE

It can't come too soon for me.

 

T.Bod whips Pigley off the ropes and just knocks him down hard with a shoulder block, then brings him straight back and sets for the Rude Awakening neckbreaker. Before he can hit it, however, Max jumps into the ring, kicks T.Bod in the gut and drives him into the canvas with a double arm DDT.

 

CABOOSE

Hey, he's not allowed to just run in like that!

 

Charles Robinson enforces the law and gets Max out, as T.Bod and Pigley are both down. Dan Black, still holding his head, tries to get in the ring but Robinson is ready for him this time and stands in his way. T.Bod and Dr. Steven start to crawl to their respective corners, as Max and Dan strain for the tags - T.Bod makes it!

 

Dan barges Robinson aside, rushes into the ring and pulls Pigley away from Max - but as he does so Steven makes the tag!

 

The crowd roars encouragement as Dr. Max Anderson vaults into the ring and takes Dan down repeatedly with a lariat, an armdrag and a dropkick in succession. Black rolls out of the ring to regain his composure, but Anderson isn't finished with him and dives over the top rope, propelling Black into the guard rail!

 

Max gets to his feet, adrenaline firing, and throws Dan back into the ring. Black tries to escape on the other side, but Anderson cuts him off and whips him off the ropes, connecting with a big back body drop!

 

COLE

Anderson is burning like a venereal disease, and Black is in trouble here!

 

Dan staggers up and Dr. Max hits him with a jaw breaker and then a Dragon Suplex with pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

No! Dan kicks out!

 

COACH

Anderson using one of Black's own favourite moves, and so close to the straps!

 

COLE

And now he's heading up top!

 

Dr. Anderson is on the top turnbuckle looking for the 450 splash he calls the "Shock Therapy", but JR holds his foot, stopping the move! Max kicks hard, sending JR down to the floor, but the delay has allowed Dan time to summon energy for a desperation move, and he leaps to the top rope, taking Anderson off with a belly to belly throw from the top all the way down to the mat!

 

Black and Max hit the canvas hard. The throw hurt the left arm of Black which the Docs worked over earlier, and it takes a few moments before Dan is able to roll over and drape an arm:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEE-shoulder up!

 

Black tries again, this time hooking both legs with a big handful of tights:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEEEEE-kickout!

 

Dan scoops Anderson up and tries for a German suplex -but his grip is weak, and Anderson flips out and lands on his feet. Black turns as he's getting up, and Max runs in with a Shining Wizard - but Dan blocks it with his left arm, shouting at the pain that causes, but is then able to drag Max down with an inside cradle:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

No! Kickout!

 

Both men up and Dan connects with a European uppercut, but Anderson fires back with a hard forearm to the face. The two men repeat the blows twice more, until Dan just pokes Max in the eye and picks him up onto his shoulders - Death Valley Driver!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

No! Pigley breaks the cover with a boot to the back of Black!

 

Black, seemingly exhausted, rolls over and tags T.Bod. T.Bod comes in as Anderson is rising and whips him quickly to the ropes. As Max returns T.Bod gathers him in at speed and hits him with a spinning sidewalk slam similar to the Blackhole Slam of Abyss.

 

COLE

T.Bod using extra speed on that whip, so that he can use Anderson's own momentum against him rather than having to put all the strain on his injured back.

 

Cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

No, Pigley breaks it up again!

 

T.Bod with another hard whip off the ropes, and this time he connects with a big boot right into the face of Anderson that spins him over. Cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

No! Pigley yet again with the save!

 

T.Bod looses his temper and goes after Dr. Steven, who runs to the ropes and skins the cat around, catching T.Bod in the back with a 619 style kick as The Body pursues him. T.Bod shouts in pain and hangs on the top rope, allowing Anderson to sneak in with a cradle!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No! T.Bod reverses the cradle for his own pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

T.Bod grabs the 2nd rope for extra leverage!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No! Kick out!

 

Both men up and make a double tag, and Dan Black and Steven Pigley go at it once more. Dan ducks Pigley's swing, kicks him in the gut and double underhooks his arms, going for his Pitch Black finisher (Angel's Wings), but Pigley twists out into a hammerlock on Black's injured arm. Dr. Steven then drops back to the mat, raising his knees and pulling Black after him so that his knees slam into the hammerlocked arm!

 

COLE

A modified version of John Walter's Lung Blower, and that arm has got to be causing huge pain to Dan!

 

Pigley rolls over and locks on a Fujiwara armbar! Dan shouts and swears in pain as he tries to escape, but in the end it's T.Bod who comes in and kicks Dr. Steven out of the hold. Both men up, and Pigley runs at Black - who drags him into the Heart of Ice!

 

Dan wrenches at the head of the Doc, causing Pigley to yell out, but Black is hurting too, and after a few more seconds has to release the hold. Dan rolls over away from Pigley, clutching his arm, while Pigley steps to the ring apron.

 

As Black gets to his feet Pigley jumps onto the top rope for another springboard attempt, but this time T.Bod holds the rope still so Pigley can get no spring from his board and just falls flat on his face at Dan Black's feet.

 

CABOOSE

Well, Pigley was asking for that. He's been pinging off that top rope all match, it was only a matter of time before Black T stopped him.

 

COLE

Perhaps a sign of the inexperience of this team. Don't forget these guys have less than two years training behind them.

 

Dan smoothes back his hair and grabs Pigley into a full nelson! Sensing the Dragon suplex attempt, Steven drops down to his knees to try and block the hold, but Dan fires hard knee shots into the back of his head! Totally stunned, Pigley is easily dragged up and Black hits the Dragon suplex! Dan rolls through, gritting his teeth against the pain in his arm- German suplex!

 

COACH

Pigley in big trouble!

 

CABOOSE

Just the Tiger suplex to bring home the gold!

 

Black rolls through a second time, taking a while to get up, hooks back both arms - Tiger suplex with bridged pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Dr. Max jumps onto the top rope...

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

No!

 

Max Anderson with the 450 splash onto the mid-section of Dan Black to break up the pin!

 

The crowd applauds Max's effort, as Black clutches his stomach in agony and Pigley looks out cold.

 

Anderson is also feeling the effects of the move, but eventually manages to drape Pigley on top of Dan:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

No! Dan kicks out at 2.999999!

 

Black and Pigley roll away and start to use the ropes to pull themselves up. Pigley makes it first and kicks Black in the gut and scoops him up, going for his "Time of Death" Michinoku Driver, but Dan escapes, sliding down behind Dr. Steven and slamming him in the neck with a forearm shot. Dan grabs Pigley from behind and hits a reverse DDT into a cover:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE- No! Max Anderson with the diving save! Anderson picks Black up - Twist of Fate!

 

T.Bod follows into the ring and throws Anderson out over the top rope, where he hits the guard rail hard. T.Bod quickly pulls Pigley up and whips him off the ropes - Out of Body Experience! (Arn Anderson spinebuster).

 

The move hurts T.Bod's back badly this time, and he rolls away from Pigley in pain. It takes a few moments before he can move over to put Dan on top of Pigley.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No! Foot on the ropes from Dr. Steven Pigley!

 

CABOOSE

That was three! Damn you Charles Robinson!

 

COLE

The Docs will not give in! They want those titles so badly!

 

T.Bod looks stunned, but as he gets to his feet Max Anderson comes off the top with a flying hurricanrana! T.Bod rolls to the outside, as Max follows. Anderson grabs a hold of T.Bod and shoves him back first into the ring post! T.Bod collapses in pain on the floor.

 

In the ring, Pigley and Dan slowly get up. With Charles Robinson distracted by the events on the outside, Black is able to land a devastating LOW BLOW and rolls Steven up! One, Two, Three! But Robinson still isn't looking! Jivin' JR yells at him to turn around, and Robinson makes the count:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No - Kickout!

 

Black up and bringing Steven with him: KICK, WHAM, BLACKOUT (stunner) - but Pigley pushes him off! Dan rushes in, straight into a scoop and the Time of Death!

 

The crowd are counting along now with the cover:

 

"ONE!"

 

 

"TWO!"

 

 

 

 

 

"THREE!"

 

 

 

 

 

No! Black kicks out!

 

Pigley doesn't show any disappointment, instead grabbing Dan around the waist and setting him over his knees in the position for a Vegomatic/Death Sentence. Max Anderson is on the top rope - Shooting Star Elbow Drop to the chest of Black!

 

COLE

The Lethal Injection! It's over!

 

 

Pigley with the cover, hooking Black's legs up high!

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

 

 

 

"TWO!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!! Dan kicks out somehow!

 

The crowd groans in disappointment!

 

Pigley brings Black up and grabs him in a bear-hug. Anderson runs the ropes - huge lariat to the chest of Dan!

 

COLE

Oh my god! Hart Attack!

 

Pigley covers Black again!

 

"ONE!"

 

 

 

 

 

"TWO!"

 

 

 

 

T.Bod dashes in and dives for the save!

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

CABOOSE

Nooooooo!

 

Cue: Calling Dr. Love!

 

T.Bod comes down upon the back of Pigley a split second too late, as Charles Robinson awards the match to the Docs. The crowd rises to applaud the upset, as the Docs tearfully hug each other and Dr. Feelgood in the middle of the ring before collapsing with exhaustion. T.Bod sits, holding his back, looking furious, as Jivin' JR tries to rouse Dan Black.

 

COLE

What a match, what a huge win for the Docs!

 

BUFFER

Here are your winners and the NUUUUUUUUUUU HI-YAH International Tag Team Champions - THE LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURVE DOC-TORS!

 

COACH

That move must have been the "Bad Medicine"...

 

COLE

"Strong Medicine."

 

COACH

Thank you for reminding me, Lifetime's #1 fan. Anyway, as The Coach was sayin', that must have been the double team the Docs were talking about! Dan resisted two big moves, but the third was just too much. The Docs went toe to toe with Black T, and not many teams can say they've done that. Dan and T.Bod underestimated the Docs, and they paid the price in gold.

 

CABOOSE

Just like Michael Cole getting laid, this was a fluke. I'll personally be advising Black T to put in for a rematch, so we can see who the real winners are. And don't forget, Black T are still a part of the OAOAST Tag Champions, the REAL tag titles.

 

COLE

Caboose, look at the faces of the Docs and this crowd - you can't spoil this for them. All the staff and patients at the Windy City Hospital must be marking out like crazy right now!

 

CABOOSE

I hate it when you talk "smart," Cole. You know what would be great? If all the patients at WCH died from heart attacks seconds after the Docs won the titles. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Ha!

 

COLE

That is sick.

 

The Docs, with Dr. Feelgood in the middle supporting them, stagger up the aisle, pausing at the top to display their newly won tag titles to a big POP from the crowd!

 

COACH

Ladies and Gentlemen, we may have seen the coming of age of the Love Doctors here tonight - they are your NEW HI-YAH Tag Team Champions!

Edited December 25, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

COLE

Well, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the OAOAST Heavyweight Title match between our current champion Drek Stone and our former champion Crystal.

 

COACH

Now, as everyone knows, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding this Heavyweight Championship match at Climax.

 

CABOOSE

Well, let me give you the short story. Sly Sommers continued to bitch and groan about how things were ran in the OAOAST. He threatened to quit – and Zack Malibu, the blessed unconditional leader of this federation – took it upon himself to find a contractual agreement Sly had been breaking just so he could help usher the man out of the OAOAST for good. If you’re asking me, it’s good riddance, to be honest.

 

COLE

Well, with that out of the way, let’s focus on the two competitors here. This will not be the first time Drek Stone and Crystal face each other in an OAOAST ring!

 

COACH

By my count, these two have had two major encounters in this federation in recent months. Back in September, when Crystal was still the Heavyweight Champion, Drek personally took out Sly Sommers to face my girl on HeldDown on September 9th, 2004. Crystal wound up making Drek tap out that night, so off we went to Thanksgiving Star Wars for their second encounter.

 

COLE

It was there that Drek Stone and Crystal found themselves as the final two competitors in the Elimination Chamber. Here, Drek managed to put Crystal down with a StoneCutter for the three count – AND the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship!

 

COACH

So basically, the count between them is 1-1 – and tonight is the match to determine who leads the series. Crystal wants the Heavyweight Title more than anything in the world right now. She went through extreme lengths last Thursday just to keep Axel from ruining that opportunity for her. She knows that, if she doesn’t win tonight, there’s a chance she won’t get another Heavyweight Title shot for a very long time. Crystal is not willing to just sit by and allow that to happen. To her, this is the night to finally let it all hang out.

 

CABOOSE

Well, that’s all well and good, but she’s going against the Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone in this one. He’s coming off a HUGE title defense against Ragdoll last Thursday – and tonight, he really wants to show he’s not just a flash-in-the-pan. He’s heard the criticisms against him. He doesn’t really deserve the title. He didn’t earn it. He won’t be able to hold onto it. Well, here at Climax, Drek wants to answer all those critics by beating Crystal decisively here in the ring. This is his chance to establish his legacy with his first Pay-Per-View title defense – and I don’t see Crystal being able to end his title reign here.

 

COLE

Folks, there’s a lot of backstory going into this one….and a lot on the line for both superstars as well. Let’s get down to the ring for this huge title matchup!

 

CABOOSE

…..why the hell isn’t this in the Main Event slot anyway?

 

*****************************************

BUFFER

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the time has come. This matchup is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and it is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!

 

 

“Set It Off” begins to blast over the loudspeakers as every fan in the arena gets out of their seat and stares excitedly at the entranceway.

 

COLE

HERE WE GO!!

 

BUFFER

First, here’s the challenger! Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, she is widely known around the world as the undisputed Female Phenom! She is not only a former 24/7 Champion, but a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the world as well! And tonight, she has a chance to regain that gold all over again. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome CRRRRRRRYSTAAAAAAALLL!!!!!!

 

Crystal runs out through the curtains to a MASSIVE reaction from the crowd! As she stands at the top of the ramp, fireworks explode from certain corners of the slot machine entranceway! As Crystal walks down the ramp with a smile on her face, she slaps hands with the fans clamoring mightily to get noticed by their favorite female superstar. As she steps into the ring, she moves to a nearby turnbuckle and stands on the second rope. Crystal then raises her arms up for the crowd, allowing herself to be bathed in a sea of flashbulbs. With a smile on her face, she steps off the turnbuckle and awaits her opponent.

 

Woke Up This Morning

Got Yourself A Gun

Mama Always Said You’d Be

The Chosen One

 

The entire arena breaks out in a rabid fit of boos as Drek Stone slowly steps out through the curtains with the Heavyweight Championship around his waist.

 

BUFFER

And her opponent! Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 225 pounds, he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete” AND “The Best Looking Man to Ever Step Into a Professional Wrestling Ring”! A former Italian Champion, this man also went through hell last month in the Elimination Chamber to capture his first OAOAST Heavyweight Championship! Now folks, please put your hands together for the CURRENT OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD……DRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!

 

Standing at the top of the ramp, Drek raises his hands for the Las Vegas crowd, receiving quite an impressive negative reaction in return. Walking down to ringside, Drek completely ignores the fans trying to reach out for his hand, and slowly steps into the ring. Standing in the center, he slaps his chest defiantly, causing a remarkable stream of golden fireworks to arise from the four corners of the ring. Drek then unstraps the Heavyweight Title from around his waist and moves to a nearby corner. Once he steps on the second rope, he holds the gold up for the fans, receiving those familiar boos once again. Crystal stares at Drek Stone with a smirk on his face as he steps off the turnbuckle and hands the title off to the referee.

 

CABOOSE

This is it! Drek’s first PPV title defense!

 

COACH

I can’t wait! Crystal recaptures her gold!

 

CABOOSE

Drek!

 

COACH

Crystal!

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

COLE

And there’s the bell!

 

Drek Stone and Crystal dramatically walk into the center of the ring, eyes locked the entire way. They stand before each other, face-to-face, neither competitor willing to waver the staredown that has broken out between the two. Drek, always the more talkative of the two, begins jawing with Crystal, daring her to make the first move. Crystal absorbs his taunting with a smile, then quickly takes her right hand and flings her hair to the back of her neck. Drek nods for a moment, steps back – and the two initiate in a lockup.

 

COLE

Well, here we go. With the initial intimidation tactics over, this match could be underway.

 

With their arms intertwined with each other, Crystal and Drek push against one another, desperately trying to get some kind of advantage. Finally, after a few moments of struggling, Drek pushes Crystal towards one of the corners, receiving a negative reaction from the crowd. As he nears the turnbuckle, Crystal suddenly switches the momentum of the grapple and pushes the Heavyweight Champion into the corner. The fans let out a cheer as Crystal continues to push Drek into the turnbuckles. The referee starts counting for a release and, once he gets to “FOUR!”, Crystal finally lets go of the grapple. She begins moving back to please the referee, but Drek suddenly rushes forward and brings her to the mat with a huge shove! Crystal rolls along backwards with the push, bringing herself back onto her knees.

 

COACH

Was there any reason to go for that? There’s no reason for him to get angry that Crystal is stronger than him.

 

CABOOSE

Stronger than him? Coach, please. She probably threw him off by whispering sweet nothings into his ear. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what Drek just did there!

 

Crystal slowly moves back up to her feet with a smile, giving a slight nod to Drek for recognition of what he just did. Drek gives her a nonchalant shrug and starts walking towards her – but is suddenly brought down with a rapid drop-toe hold. Crystal suddenly darts out of the move and captures Drek in a front-facelock. Drek quickly drops to his stomach and tries rolling out of it, but Crystal rolls along with him, keeping the front-facelock intact. Drek pounds the mat in frustration, but then makes it up to his knees. With a burst of strength, he tries picking Crystal up off the mat and over his head – but she uses her weight to fall back onto the mat, keeping him snared in the front-facelock.

 

COLE

Folks, don’t underestimate the effects this hold could have on someone. Oxygen deprivation in the earlygoings of a match like this is something you really can not afford.

 

CABOOSE

Why she isn’t getting disqualified for choking, I’ll never know.

 

Drek, really looking for a way to try and get out of the hold, moves up to his knees once more. Yet, this time, he just simply slips his hand behind Crystal and gives her hair a hard yank. Crystal recoils her head in shock for a second, allowing Drek to reach up and crack a nasty European uppercut across her jaw. Crystal moves back in shock for a moment, releasing the hold, and allowing Drek to get a few deep breaths. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, the Heavyweight Champion quickly runs towards her – but is suddenly brought over the top rope and to the floor with a back body drop!

 

COACH

Excellent back-body drop! Boose, can you feel the excitement in this place tonight? Crystal is on her A-Game!

 

CABOOSE

A few more of those Italian uppercuts, and I can guarantee you that she won’t be.

 

Upon hitting the arena floor, Drek Stone stares up at Crystal with a mixed expression of surprise and frustration on his face. Then, with a sudden sneer, he quickly gets up and stomps towards the timekeeper table. Michael Buffer gives no hesitation in stepping away as Drek nastily grabs a ringside microphone.

 

DREK

Now hold on just a second!

 

The crowd lets out a wild series of jeers as Drek stares out at them with his forehead already glistening with sweat.

 

DREK

Everybody hold on! There is going to be none of this tonight! The truth is that I signed a contract to face both Crystal AND Sly Sommers here at Climax tonight. Watts made the ruling, and I signed the damn contract. NOWHERE in that contract did it say Drek Stone would be having to face Crystal one-on-one! The fact of the matter is – what’s going on here tonight is ILLEGAL!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

DREK

Oh, boo me all you want, you stupid assholes! Yeah, that’s right. This is Pay-Per-View. I’m the Heavyweight champion of the world! I can say whatever the hell I want. Fuck you.

 

The “BOOOOOOOOOOO”s in the crowd rise once again.

 

DREK

Not enough? Fine. Fuck you, motherfuckers. Let’s keep going. You pieces of shit! You stupid twats! You dumb cunts! I’ll run down the list! I’LL KEEP GOING! BECAUSE I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT – which includes me saying that I REFUSE TO DEFEND MY CHAMPIONSHIP AGAINST CRYSTAL HERE TONIGHT!

 

Suddenly, the hecking in the crowd have raised from a loud series of boos to an amazing fever-pitch of jeers.

 

COLE

Folks, we apologize for the language now, but….

 

COACH

What the hell does he mean he’s not defending the championship tonight?

 

DREK

Oh yeah, that’s right. I did NOT sign a contract to face Crystal here tonight, so you know what – I am going to use my right NOT to wrestle her. You bitch, you want to try to choke me out in the early goings of the match, and hope the referee doesn’t call you out on it? Well, I did! Sorry hun, but you’ve lost your opportunity for tonight!

 

Drek drops the microphone onto the arena floor, which results in a loud “THUD!” coming from the loudspeakers. The Heavyweight Champion then grabs his title belt off the timekeeper table and begins walking to the back with it.

 

COLE

I don’t believe this. I just don’t believe it!

 

CABOOSE

What?! Champion’s prerogative! He can do what he wants! He didn’t legally sign the contract for this match tonight. Better luck next time, Crystal.

 

Drek Stone starts walking towards the locker room, and the referee has no choice but to start the countout.

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

Without even bothering to look back to the ring, Drek continues to walk up the ramp. The fans start pleading with Crystal to go and chase after him.

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

 

“FIVE!”

 

 

Crystal suddenly rolls out of the ring and darts after Drek, receiving a massive reaction from the crowd! Drek turns around to see what the commotion is about, and gets a HUGE clothesline down for his efforts! Stone immediately gets back up after the clothesline to confront Crystal, but she instantly gives him a hard right hand across the jaw. The force of the punch causes Drek to fall, sending him rolling down the ramp and back towards the ring. The Heavyweight Champion gets up in complete shock and, seeing that Crystal is stomping down the ramp after him, rolls back into the ring as quick as possible.

 

COACH

Thank god we have my girl here! This could have been the worst OAOAST Heavyweight Title match we’ve seen since…..

 

COLE

Whoa, I’d stop right there. We definitely don’t need any more enemies.

 

Drek Stone immediately darts over to an opposite turnbuckle and starts untying the top buckle pad. By the time Crystal gets back in the ring, the pad has already fallen to Drek’s feet, exposing the steel rung underneath as a result. The Female Phenom charges at Stone quickly to try to keep the flow going, but suddenly catches a high side kick across the bridge of her nose. The fans let out a solid jeer as Crystal slowly falls to the mat, holding her nose in alarm. Drek, not wanting to waste this opportunity, sits on top of her chest and takes this time to pepper her with punches to the forehead and the cheek. After a few shots, Stone gets off Crystal and starts screaming to the fans about earning their respect.

 

CABOOSE

See guys, you failed to see the elaborate plan Drek was setting up here. He was never going to leave the ring. He did that to sucker Crystal in, and eventually lead her to the trouble she’s facing right now.

 

COACH

I guess I just didn’t realize just how strategic Drek Stone is. Ulysses S. Grant, move over. Drek Stone is in town!

 

Seeing Crystal roll back over onto her knees, Drek runs into the ropes quickly to keep the advantage. Yet, as he runs towards her, he is suddenly brought down with a NASTY jumping lariat from Crystal. She falls on top of his chest afterwards for the abrupt count.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Drek kicks out of the move and tries rolling back onto his feet speedily. Crystal is already up and ready to meet him with a spinning heel kick – but he manages to duck the attempt! The momentum of the kick sends her spinning around, and allowing Drek the opportunity to clothesline her right over the top rope. Crystal bounces off the arena floor as the fans let out another chant. One that’s near and dear to the Heavyweight Champion’s heart.

 

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

 

CABOOSE

Just when I think these fans couldn’t look any dumber, they manage to prove me wrong yet again.

 

On the floor, Crystal gives her head a solid vibration to try and shake the cobwebs out. Taking a deep breath, she moves up to a standing position – but Drek sends her crashing into the nearby announce table with a baseball slide!

 

COLE

WHOA!

 

COACH

That’s it! Baby, come here!

 

Coach manages to let his testosterone subside for a moment as Crystal rolls off the table in pain. Holding her back to soothe the ache, Crystal looks up for a moment to find Drek Stone jumping over the top rope with a plancha! But the Female Phenom quickly darts out of the way, sending Drek crashing onto the arena floor!

 

COLE

Big mistake by the champ there!

 

COACH

Against Crystal, he REALLY can’t afford to make too many of those.

 

Clutching his ribs, Drek moves up off the floor, not wanting to waste too much time to recuperate. Crystal takes this opportunity to rush forward, lift Drek up, and send him back-first into the corner post in a quick swoop!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

Drek falls to his knees in pain after the move, holding his now-throbbing back. Crystal pulls him back to his feet by his hair and gives him a hard punch to the face, sending him sprawling towards a close ringside barricade. The nearby ring fans slap Drek’s back excitedly as Crystal walks over and, this time, gives him a hard kick to the midsection. She then picks him up onto her shoulder – and drops him chest-first onto the barricade. Drek falls back down to the arena floor, now grabbing at his ribs once again. Refusing to let him rest, Crystal picks Drek back up off the floor and rolls him into the ring.

 

COLE

We’ve seen this from the beginning of the match. Crystal is absolutely ALL business tonight.

 

COACH

She knows this could be her last opportunity in a while to recapture the Heavyweight Title. She’s willing to do anything possible to do just that.

 

Back in the ring, Drek moves to his hands and knees to try to get back up, but Crystal’s waiting. She lays in a hard stomp to his back and another stomp to the back of his head. Taking this chance to lay in a few more kicks, Crystal finally stops her assault and picks Drek back up off the mat, shoving him into a corner instead. She moves back a few feet to survey her opponent – then charges forward with an avalanche! But Drek moves out of the way! Crystal hits the corner chest-first, which gives Drek the opportunity to slip behind her and bring her down with a crucial release german suplex!

 

CABOOSE

There we go! Talk about Crystal’s determination all you want, but Drek knows just how important this match actually is. This match can MAKE his entire title reign – and dammit, he will NOT waste that opportunity!

 

Holding the back of his head, Drek manages to get back to his feet relatively quickly while Crystal remains laying down on the mat. The Heavyweight Champion rushes right towards her and drops a huge senton onto her chest! Crystal moans in pain as Drek remains on top of her for the pinfall.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Basically expecting Crystal to kick out of the move, Drek pops right back up and jumps onto Crystal’s stomach with a double stomp. This time, Crystal lets out an even louder yell, but once again, Drek drops down for the quick cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Crystal kicks out once again. Drek moves down to his knees and wraps his hand around her throat this time. The fans let out a LOUD series of jeers as Crystal starts kicking her legs excitedly, trying to get out of the choke. Once the referee counts for the release, Drek finally lets go of the chokehold at “FOUR!”

 

COLE

Do you see the hypocrisy, Caboose? Drek Stone threatens to walk out before because he claims that a front-facelock is a choke! But then, minutes later, he decides to ACTUALLY choke Crystal. Mind justifying that for me?

 

CABOOSE

…..what choke? What the hell are you talking about?

 

COACH

Did you expect anything else, Cole?

 

Once Drek releases the choke and moves back to his feet, Crystal rolls to her side, loudly gasping for air. With a scowl, Drek yanks her off the mat by her hair, refusing to even allow her to breathe. He grabs her arm and gives her a vicious irish-whip into the exposed turnbuckle – but she reverses! Drek Stone hits the metal turnbuckle chest-first at an AMAZINGLY fast speed, sending him immediately falling backwards in shock.

 

COACH

So Drek Stone has just been irish-whipped into the same turnbuckle he exposed earlier? Oh, what cruel irony!

 

CABOOSE

…..irony? Like your name being “Coach”, despite the fact that you don’t actually coach a damned thing?

 

COACH

Touchy.

 

COLE

Yeah, Coach, I think the term is “touche”

 

COACH

Isn’t that what I said?

 

Both combatants take this time to rest on the mat for a moment before they finally start to rise together at around the same pace. However, Drek does manage to get up first, albeit holding his chest in pain. He gingerly walks over to Crystal – but gets a NASTY punch to the chest for his efforts. Drek drops to one knee for a moment, wincing noticeably, before walking towards her once more. However, once again, he gets a HARD punch to the chest from the Female Phenom. As before, Drek drops to one knee – yet, this time, Crystal runs forward and brings him down to the mat with a spinning leg lariat! The fans let out a loud cheer as Drek falls to the mat and Crystal rolls back up to her knees, smiling at the sudden change in momentum. She runs towards Drek and drops a quick elbow onto his chest. She gets back up once again and drops another elbow across his chest, this time staying on for the count.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Drek rolls out of the pin attempt, but Crystal will not be deterred. She grabs Drek from underneath his chin and tries pulling him back up to a standing position. But immediately upon getting up, he gives Crystal a nasty kick to the right kneecap. Crystal’s leg buckles for a second, allowing Drek to sideline her with another kick to the knee. And another. But Crystal abruptly unleashes a stinging chop across Drek Stone’s chest, leaving him reeling towards the ropes.

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Drek flinches after the chop for a moment, but then runs right towards The Female Phenom. This gives her the opportunity to catch him, lift him up – and drop him with a chestbreaker across her left knee. Drek immediately starts rolling around on the mat after the move, but Crystal catches him with yet another elbowdrop across his chest. Right after, Crystal moves back up and raises her arms up to the crowd, receiving a huge reaction in return.

 

 

“CRYSTAL!”

 

 

“CRYSTAL!”

 

 

COLE

The Female Phenom has found a weakness of Drek Stone here – and if there’s one thing this girl really knows how to do in the ring, it is exploiting someone’s weakness.

 

CABOOSE

But look at her. She can’t help but showboat. Drek is all about doing the talking in the ring but, as you can see, this hag isn’t like that.

 

COACH

Oh, of course. Drek Stone is never one to taunt anybody, obviously.

 

CABOOSE

Right! Wow, you really aren’t as dumb as people said you were, Coach.

 

As Crystal poses for her fans, Drek crawls towards the turnbuckle with the exposed steel. He uses the middle rope to pull himself up until he gets back into a standing position. Crystal, seeing this, quickly charges forward and attempts to hit Drek with a high knee! But the Heavyweight Champion gets out of the way – and Crystal hits the exposed steel with her right knee! She lets out a loud scream as she tumbles back to the mat, and Drek rests on the ring ropes.

 

COACH

Uh-oh.

 

CABOOSE

I think Crystal just hurt her knee something severe there – which is gold for Drek, let me tell you.

 

Seeing Crystal roll around the mat, holding her right knee in pain, a wide smile crosses Drek Stone’s face. Without hesitation, he savagely yanks Crystal’s right leg into a straight position, then lays in a series of HARD stomps across her kneecap. Through her screams of anguish, Drek continues to lay in the nasty kicks to her knee. He then extends Crystal’s right leg, jumps up – and drops a VICIOUS elbow across her knee! He gets right back up, extends the leg once more – and drops ANOTHER elbow across the right knee of Crystal! The former Heavyweight Champion tries to roll out of the way desperately, but the current Heavyweight Champion just will not allow it. Once again, he starts laying in some massive kicks to Crystal’s right knee, hearing her passionate screams of pain, until the fans start loudly booing him for his sadisticness.

 

COLE

Oh my God! Drek Stone just will NOT let up on that knee!

 

CABOOSE

Why should he? Did Crystal allow Drek time to heal his chest before? Hell no! Turn-about is ALWAYS fair play!

 

Crystal grabs at her right knee to try to support it, but Drek pulls it out from her and lays it straight on the mat. He then moves back, runs forward – and drops a hard knee across Crystal’s right leg. She lets out another loud yell as Drek rolls along with the move and gets back to his feet. He bounces quickly off the opposite ropes, jumps up – and drops ANOTHER hard knee across Crystal’s right leg. Crystal bangs at the mat in anguish as Drek pops back up with a wide grin across his face. Grabbing her by her leg, Drek starts pulling her towards the ropes until he’s finally able to get her right leg popping out in the space between the bottom rope and the ring apron. The fans buzz a little as Drek sets himself up near the ring ropes. He then jumps over the top rope and to the arena floor – dropping an elbow across Crystal’s right knee along the way! Her leg pretty much SNAPS forward towards the floor, causing her to unleash yet another scream. Drek pops right back up to his feet after the elbow, still smiling the entire way.

 

CABOOSE

There we go. This match is finally in control!

 

COACH

Crystal is in some serious trouble! Oh, I can’t stand to hear my girl scream like this – at least, not without me laying on top of….

 

COLE

Oh god, please don’t finish that line. The point is: Crystal looks hurt at this point. And hurt bad.

 

Once again, Crystal tries to reach for her knee but, from the outside, Drek swats her hands away. Pulling her by her right leg, he gets her close enough to the corner post for his liking. He then takes her right leg, pulls it back – and swings it forward, sending her right knee CRASHING into the metal turnbuckle! The fans let out a loud “oooooooh!” as Crystal yells in anger. Drek grabs her leg again, pulls it back – and bangs it against the metal turnbuckle! He reaches back – bangs it a third time! And a fourth! And a fifth! By the end of the fifth attack, Crystal pretty much barely has enough air in her lungs to even choke out a scream.

 

COLE

I really don’t like this. Crystal may not even be able to walk out of here under her own power if the match continues like this.

 

CABOOSE

But Drek Stone will STILL be the Heavyweight Champion…..and Cole, that’s really all that matters.

 

Grabbing both of Crystal’s legs, Drek pulls her closer to the corner post. He then folds her left leg around the turnbuckle post, places it on on top of her right leg, jumps up – and FALLS TO THE ARENA FLOOR WITH A RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK! The fans let out a huge chorus of boos as Crystal lets out a LOUD screech once the hold is applied. She tries reaching for the ring ropes to help her, but they just won’t able to do anything.

 

COLE

Oh, this is terrible! The ref needs to get Drek Stone to release this hold RIGHT NOW!

 

COACH

Somebody do something! HE’S GOING TO BREAK HER LEG!

 

The referee screams for the Heavyweight Champion to release the hold and, once the disqualification count has reached “FOUR!”, Drek Stone finally does. However, the damage has been done. Crystal leaves her legs hanging over the ring apron once Drek lets go of the figure four, looking unable to even move them back into the ring. Drek Stone, not looking to waste a moment of time, rolls back into the ring and begins pulling Crystal into the center of the mat by her right arm. Once he gets there, he lifts up her right leg, and gives her another kick to the knee for good measure. The fans, realizing that more damage to the knee is the last thing Crystal needs, rewards him with their resounding boos.

 

CABOOSE

Ugh…..why do these Las Vegas fans continue to insist on booing superiority? I’ll never understand it. Crystal wanted this title match when Drek threatened to walk away – well, now she got it. She got it worse than she ever could have expected.

 

Drek, continuing the assault, then twists his body around Crystal’s right leg, puts her left leg over it, then falls to the mat – WITH A FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! Crystal begins screaming once again as Drek tries furiously to add serious pressure to the figure-four. She strives to reach the ropes, but Drek isn’t having any of it. He adds even more force to the move, leaving her struggling to seize any opportunity to escape. Crystal reaches for Drek’s hair, but the Champion quickly pulls his head away and increases the pressure.

 

COLE

How much more of this can Crystal take?!

 

With the fans clapping simultaneously to try to will Crystal out of this predicament, she begins rocking her body in the ring from side to side, trying to make a solid attempt to turn her body over. After a few attempts, she manages to TURN HER BODY TO THE SIDE…..

 

…..only for Drek to stop the momentum and put Crystal on her back once again!

 

CABOOSE

And the Figure-Four stays locked in! Imagine the sheer strength Drek needed to put Crystal onto her back once again!

 

Crystal, with the intensity of the pain finally starting to get to her, begins to slowly waver in the center of the ring. Unable to deal with the pain anymore, Crystal actually finds herself drifting in and out of consciousness. Bit by bit, she starts to allow her body to fall, until the referee finds her shoulders down her mat. He drops down for the cover as the fans scream loudly for Crystal to sit back up.

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

THREE….

 

 

NO!!

 

 

CRYSTAL SITS UP!!

 

 

A huge burst of applause raises up from the crowd as Crystal pops back up from the mat with a passionate look of determination etched across her face. Seeing that the ring ropes would just be impossible to grab from her current position, Crystal lets out a LOUD scream and tries shifting from side-to-side once again. Drek tries using his body weight to keep her pinned down, but he’s not finding it to work so easily this time. Pounding her fist against the mat, Crystal rocks her body to and fro, with Drek shaking his head zealously to keep her from reversing the momentum. Finally, Crystal manages to get onto her side once again….

 

…..AND THIS TIME, SHE ROLLS DREK STONE ONTO HIS STOMACH!! The arena breaks out into a wild fit of cheers as Drek is left screaming in agony over the reversal. Crystal rocks back on his legs, adding even more pressure to the move, and actually increasing the volume of his yells! Drek, with a quick gasp of energy, leaps towards the ropes – and manages to clutch the bottom rope! The crowd starts to boo as the referee forces Crystal to release the hold.

 

COACH

Did you see that?! Now imagine the strength CRYSTAL needed to overturn that Figure-Four leglock. Boose, I TOLD YOU! We’re going to have a new Heavyweight Champion tonight. I can feel it!

 

After the reversal, Crystal and Drek lay on the mat for a while, trying to take in some more deep breaths. Finally, they start to get back up, Drek obviously being the quicker of the two. While Crystal tries urgently to nurse her knee, Stone makes it back up to a standing position. He walks right back towards Crystal, not wanting to relent on the attack – and gets a punch across the jaw for his efforts. Drek reels back for a moment, which allows Crystal to hobble towards him with another right hand, sending him back into the corner. There, she starts to unleash a wild series of punches across his face and his midsection. Drek tries to cover up, but Crystal actually just continues the assault. She keeps banging fists off his body, ignoring the referee’s calls to break it up. The fans in the crowd, witnessing Crystal’s passionate outburst, break out into a chant of “CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!” as she persists with the onslaught.

 

COLE

This is it! This is Crystal’s chance to grab hold of the offensive!

 

COLE

SHE’S REALLY TAKING IT TO DREK STONE!

 

As Drek tries in vain to cover up, Crystal continues to lay in shots to his face and upperbody, practically dragging her right leg behind her. Finally, she grabs Drek by his arm and irish-whips him into the ropes. As he bounces back, she lifts up her left leg for a big boot – but he ducks underneath and takes out Crystal’s leg from underneath with a chop block!

 

CABOOSE

There we go! Always thinking!

 

The fans groan as The Female Phenom falls back down onto the mat. Drek takes this time to wipe the sweat off his forehead and stretch his neck a little, trying to recover from Crystal’s surprising onslaught. Seeing her lay prone on the mat, he jogs forward, jumps up – and drops yet another high knee across her right leg. The move sends tremors through her body and another shriek rising through her throat. Drek, with a smile once more, slaps his chest for the fans, then starts to pry Crystal off the mat by her hair. Once he gets her back up, he puts her arm behind the back of her head – and drops her to the mat with a russian leg sweep! He floats over for the cover!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

As Crystal kicks out of the pinfall, Drek tries as fast as possible to move back up to his feet. He drags Crystal back up with him, leaving her barely able to even put any weight on her right leg. He wraps his arms around her body – and brings her back to the mat with a HUGE belly-to-belly suplex! Once again, he floats over for the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

AND ANOTHER KICKOUT!

 

 

COACH

Crystal, refusing to give in here!

 

CABOOSE

I don’t see why! She’s determined to come out of here a cripple!

 

Drek, running a hand through his hair, stares at Crystal in frustration, obviously annoyed that he can’t quite put her away yet. He moves over to a nearby turnbuckle, continuing to glare at her – obviously waiting for her to stand. Meanwhile, Crystal tries desperately to get back up to a standing position. Unable to stand on her right leg, Crystal needs the use of the ring ropes to get herself back up. Finally, after some serious struggling, she does manage to stand once again. Drek runs at her quickly to put it away…..but Crystal JUMPS UP and wraps her arms around Drek’s neck, bringing him to the mat with a SPINNING SLEEPER DROP! The fans let out a cheer as Crystal’s arm actually falls on top of Drek’s chest for the count!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

SHOULDER UP!

 

 

COACH

Whoa! I actually thought that could have been it!

 

CABOOSE

Well….you’re an idiot! I knew that wouldn’t be it! I KNEW IT! And you know why? Because it won’t be over until DREK STONE BEATS CRYSTAL HERE TONIGHT! It’s a fact! He is better than her!

 

COACH

I know! I’ve heard you countless times! And I say she is better than him! Who do you think is right?

 

COLE

Um….I dunno.

 

COACH

Mikey, that was one of those rhetorical questions…..just stick to the play-by-play.

 

Crystal, with a look of defiance, uses her hands to push herself off Drek’s chest and back onto her feet. She limps over to Drek’s side, jumps up – and comes down onto his chest with a standing moonsault!

 

COLE

Wow! That was practically a one-legged moonsault!

 

 

 

 

ONNNNEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Just as before, Drek kicks out, earning a loud chorus of boos from the capacity crowd. Crystal, looking to capitalize on this chance, tries her best to bounce back up. Hobbling towards the ropes, she bounces off and comes down with a legdrop – but Drek rolls out of the way at the last moment! Crystal lands right down on the mat, with Drek subsequently getting a pretty good grip of her right leg. He moves up to his feet quickly and crosses her right leg over her left. The fans in Las Vegas start buzzing loudly as Drek makes a strong attempt to turn Crystal over in the center of the ring!

 

COLE

He’s going for the Crystal-ling! If he locks this in, it really WILL be all over!

 

CABOOSE

Her right leg is shot! She won’t have the strength to get out of it! Come on, Drek! Do it! DO IT FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

Drek Stone tries greatly to turn Crystal over, but the Female Phenom – desperate to stop the move any way she knows how – refuses to allow him to do so. Wildly contorting her body, Crystal makes every attempt to keep herself from being finished off with her own signature move. With Drek really struggling to lock this submission in, Crystal takes a moment to gather her strength. Then, with a burst of energy, she pushes her legs forward, sending Drek falling back into the corner! Stone, forced to release the hold, bounces out of the turnbuckles and moves forward to lock the hold in again. He leans down to grab Crystal’s legs – but finds himself wrapped up in a small package! The fans sing along excitedly with the count!

 

 

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

DREK STONE JUST MANAGES TO KICK OUT OF THE SMALL PACKAGE!!

 

 

The crowd, obviously thinking the match was over yet again, let out a huge groan as Drek just manages to break the rollup pin attempt. Once the pin is broken up, both competitors sit up, clearly spent from the action. Taking deep breaths, they begin to move back up to their feet, with Crystal still nursing her injured right knee. Crystal, using the ring ropes to her advantage, gets back to a standing position first. As Drek gets up, he staggers forward off-balance, allowing Crystal the opportunity to grasp underneath his arm and toss him over the top rope with a hiptoss – AND STRAIGHT DOWN ONTO THE ARENA FLOOR! Drek lands absolutely back-first onto the floor, without anything to help break his fall! The fans show their appreciation of their efforts with a “Holy Shit!” chant starting to break out through the building.

 

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

 

As Drek twitches outside the ring, Crystal falls to the mat and manages to slowly roll to the outside of the ring. Looking at Drek for a moment, she coaxes him off the floor by the back of his neck. Once he gets up, she grabs his arm and gives him a nasty irish-whip into the steps – sending him SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS!

 

*CLANG!*

 

A LOUD metallic sound echoes throughout the arena as Drek falls woozily besides the ring steps. Crystal screams to the crowd and raises her arms to them, receiving a “CRYSTAL!” chant back in return. She then slashes her thumb across her throat with finality, receiving an even louder reaction in return. Prying Drek off the arena floor by his hair, she throws him back into the ring and follows. Drek rolls over to his side, woozily trying to make it back to his feet, as Crystal awaits in the corner.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

COLE

Could she be going for it?!

 

CABOOSE

Drek, watch out! THE SPEAR! WATCH OUT!

 

Clearly dizzy, Drek takes a deep breath and, with a final attempt, pushes himself back up to his feet. He turns around slowly and sees Crystal running towards him with a spear. SHE COMES CLOSE – BUT DREK JUMPS OVER HER WITH A LEAP-FROG!!

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

CABOOSE

LOOK AT THAT ATHLETICISM!

 

Crystal goes running into the turnbuckles as the Heavyweight Champion JUST escapes the spear attempt! The fans can’t believe that Drek Stone managed to escape it at the nick of time. Drek falls to his knees after the leapfrog, but Crystal runs back to him, and brings him down with a huge bulldog! Drek rolls over onto his back as Crystal looks out to the excited crowd.

 

COACH

YES! DO IT!! DO IT!!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! PLEASE, DON’T….

 

COLE

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!

 

Sure enough, Crystal moves over to the ropes! She jumps off the bottom rope….the middle rope….AND TOWARDS DREK STONE WITH THE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! BUT HE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Crystal lands on her feet, but her right knee buckles out from under her! Crystal stalls for a moment, allowing Drek to sweep in and set her up in a DDT position!

 

COLE

COULD IT BE…..?!

 

The setup of Drek's finishing move happens so quickly, the crowd doesn't have any time to respond. Sure enough, he jumps up – AND DRIVES CRYSTAL INTO THE MAT WITH A STONECUTTER!!

 

CABOOSE

YES!! YES!! IN A FLASH, IT'S THE STONECUTTER!!

 

Drek Stone hooks Crystal's right leg as the referee drops down for the cover!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COLE

CRYSTAL LOOKS TO BE OUT COLD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~!

 

 

*DING! DING! DING!*

 

 

BUFFER

Your winner……and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……DRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!!!

 

COLE

Wow......

 

CABOOSE

You could say it! Go ahead!

 

The fans let out yet another loud burst of boos as Drek rolls off Crystal’s chest, allowing the referee to triumphantly raise his hand. Using the referee’s waist as a means of support, Drek pulls himself up off the mat with a wide smile on his face.

 

CABOOSE

What did I tell you, Cole?! Crystal makes ONE mistake -- and Drek winds up making her pay for it in a matter of nanoseconds. This is why THAT man is the Heavyweight Champion!

 

COLE

Agreed. Yet, Crystal put in a HELL of an effort in this matchup. But in the end, it was that injured knee that decided it all.

 

Taking the Heavyweight Championship away from Michael Buffer, the referee hands the title belt off to Drek Stone, who raises it proudly over his head.

 

CABOOSE

Now THERE is a champion we can all be proud of! He loves that belt – and dammit, you just don’t allow things you love to leave you! That title will be around his waist for a long time!

 

COLE

After seeing what we saw here, I don’t know if anybody could even doubt that.

 

After holding the title belt up for the crowd, Drek orders the referee to strap the gold around his waist. Once it’s finished, Drek steps through the ropes and begins walking up the ramp towards the back.

 

COACH

I’ll give the man credit. He smelled blood with Crystal’s weakened knee, and he attacked it like he should have. By the end, her missed attempt with the Diamond in the Rough just traumatized that knee to the point where she couldn’t even reverse the StoneCutter. He did a good job here.

 

CABOOSE

Good job?! He did better than a good job! He did an amazing job! A spectacular job! He did a job only a Heavyweight Champion of the world would be able to do! I’m damned proud of him for this title defense here tonight.

 

Finally, once Drek gets to the top of the ramp, he unclasps the title belt from around his waist and holds it up for the crowd once more. They send him off with another wild series of jeers as he steps through the curtains with a grin on his face. Meanwhile, in the ring, a group of three referees struggle to help lift Crystal off the mat.

 

COACH

You have to feel bad for my girl, though.

 

CABOOSE

No you don’t.

 

COACH

She put so much effort – so much heart – into this match, and she still wound up on the losing end. She took all of Drek Stone’s horrific attacks on her knee and STILL came within a hair of winning the Heavyweight Title. That is something to behold!

 

Finally, after trying hard to get Crystal up to her feet, the referees manage to do it. Once she gets to a standing position, Crystal dismisses the referees and asks them to get out of the ring. Once they do, the Female Phenom stands solely in the ring by herself, looking out at all her adoring fans for their reaction. And they, in return, give her a standing ovation.

 

 

”CRYSTAL!”

 

 

“CRYSTAL!”

 

 

“CRYSTAL!”

 

 

COLE

Beautiful.

 

 

With tears in her eyes, Crystal stares out at all the fans that stand up and continue to clap for her. The woman they desire so strongly to call their Heavyweight Champion. The woman that did so much to capture it all tonight. The woman that, sure enough, could do it all again one day.

 

Supporting her weight on one leg, Crystal raises her arms up for the crowd that continues to chant her name. She slowly moves a wisp of hair behind her right ear and starts limping towards the ring ropes, as the crowd continues to cheer for her.

 

COACH

What an amazing moment.

 

CABOOSE

If you say so.

 

COLE

And this woman deserves every bit of respect she gets. What an excellent title match we got here. And folks, it’s not over yet! Coming up next, our Main Event! Axel! Ragdoll! Their careers on the line! Stay tuned, because we will be right back!

 

The camera slowly fades as the fans continue to applaud the Female Phenom as she slowly limps out of the ring.

Edited December 28, 2004 by NY Untouchable

[NYU 0]

*We come back to a shot of Triple C at the announce position, a very serious look on each one of their faces, even Caboose*

 

MICHAEL COLE

Well Ladies and Gentlemen; it has come to this tonight. The match we are about to bring to you encompasses this Pay Per View Event, as it will be the Climax to a feud the likes of which we have not seen in the One and Only Anglesault Thread before. The OAOAST would like to advise to you all at home that if you are offended by gratuitous violence, blood, or disturbing images, that you change the channel. To the parents out there with young children, you may be well served to do the same. One of the men that we are about to see will never wrestle again after this match. Both men have an unbridled hatred of each other that has forced both into this contest. Coach, I believe you have prepared some keys to victory, but first, lets see how this all came about, Axel versus Ragdoll, in a Las Vegas Streetfight Retirement match.

 

*The Climax logo flashes past the screen*

 

A heavy piano note greets us as we are treated to a shot of Axel and Ragdoll face to face on last week’s HeldDown contract signing. It soon becomes clear that the song we are hearing is ‘Imagine’, A Perfect Circle’s cover of the John Lennon classic.

 

Imagine there’s no heaven… It’s easy if you try…

 

Axel is shown, his face bloody from Ragdoll’s attack last month in the Elimination Chamber, stumbling up the ramp and not letting anyone assist him.

 

No hell below us… above us only sky…

 

A shot of Ragdoll is next, during one of his many matches with his brother, K Money, being tortured in the Bounced Check, trying to reach the ropes.

 

Imagine all the people… living for today…

 

Axel pummeling Ragdoll with rights and lefts in the Elimination Chamber…

 

Yoo-hoo-ooo…

 

Ragdoll spitting fire into Axel’s face at World Without End…

 

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…

 

Axel going for the Axel Slam but Ragdoll reversing, Ragdoll going for the Devil Doll but Axel reversing…

 

I hope some day you will join us, and the world will live as one.

 

Both Axel and Ragdoll down on the mat, struggling to get up, as we fade to black…

 

“It will be Ragdoll versus Axel, one on one, Las Vegas Deathmatch rules…

 

 

 

 

 

… in a CAREERS match.”

 

Axel is shown announcing the stipulation four weeks ago on HeldDown, and Ragdoll’s surprised reaction is then shown. Michael Cole’s voice then is heard in the background…

 

COLE

One man will not walk out! The loser must leave the wrestling business!

 

Studio shots of Axel’s and Ragdoll’s faces are shown, the determination and hatred evident in their faces. Shots of their battles begin in a montage, overlaid with their voices talking about the match.

 

AXEL

It will all end tonight…

 

RAGDOLL

One of us will walk away from the business we love…

 

AXEL

One of us will have the ultimate revenge…

 

RAGDOLL

A Las Vegas Deathmatch.

 

AXEL

You can win by pinfall or submission.

 

RAGDOLL

Glass all over the ring. Glass Tables all round it.

 

AXEL

A flaming barbed wire Bat in the corner.

 

RAGDOLL

The most brutal match I could think of.

 

AXEL

You have to beat your opponent senseless.

 

RAGDOLL

I will stop at nothing to kill him.

 

AXEL

I want the ultimate revenge for trying to end my career.

 

RAGDOLL

I want my mantle back. I want to be known as the best wrestler…

 

AXEL

…to never hold the OAOAST Championship.

 

RAGDOLL

I want to KILL Axel.

 

AXEL

Ragdoll fears me.

 

RAGDOLL

Axel should be scared of what I am going to do to him.

 

AXEL

You can’t beat a man without fear Ragdoll, and I have no fear of leaving this business.

 

RAGDOLL

He might not have anything to lose, but I have no sense left.

 

AXEL

He’s insane, and so am I.

 

RAGDOLL

We will do anything imaginable to each other.

 

AXEL

To win, to make sure this ends the right way.

 

RAGDOLL

This is the end.

 

AXEL

This is the conclusion.

 

AXEL and RAGDOLL

This is the CLIMAX.

 

*The Climax logo flashes over the screen again as Triple C are still at the announce position, Coach with a few papers and items*

 

COLE

Before we start, let’s go over the rules of this contest. Glass panels are currently being shattered all over the canvas, and glass tables are being set up all over the ring. There we can see a pole hanging from the corner, which will soon have a baseball bat, entwined in barbed wire and set on fire hanging from it. As you could probably guess there are no disqualifications, no count outs, and no rules. The only ways to win are by pinfall, or by making your opponent submit, give up, effectively making them give up their career, their livelihood. Pinfalls or submissions can occur anywhere in the building, although OAOAST officials will seal the entrance doors to try and contain the two men. Once again, this match will not be for the weak of heart. Coach, Caboose, your keys to victory.

 

COACH

Thanks Michael. Let’s have a look at the comparison between the two men firstly. Axel stands six feet two inches tall compared to Ragdoll’s five feet eleven. Now three inches might not seem a whole lot, but when you add in the almost eighty pounds that Ragdoll gives up to Axel, there is a definite leverage advantage. For Axel, he has to use this advantage to make sure he can stay vertical. If Axel can hit his power moves, like the Spinebuster, Death Valley Driver, or Dark Royalty, especially on that glass, then he will be well on the way to winning this match.

 

CABOOSE

While that may be true Coach, Ragdoll has the edge in cunning and smarts. He’s a sadistic son of a bitch, we’ve seen that in the past, and I’m sure over the past three or four weeks Ragdoll has been thinking up new ways to punish Axel in this match. THAT is what makes Ragdoll the favourite in this contest for me. He is psychotic, and unpredictable. He will literally do anything possible to win this match, stuff that you or I couldn’t even dream of. The other advantage Ragdoll has is his speed. To be an X Division Champion you need to have the speed and agility to pull off incredible moves and save yourself. Unless he has a distinct advantage, and Axel is down on the ground, Ragdoll needs to keep on Axel, just keep bothering him and wearing him down.

 

COLE

All true points guys, now lets cross to Josh Matthews in the backstage area, with Ragdoll.

 

*The camera cuts to J-Math, standing next to Rags, who is, as always, smoking and looking insane*

 

J-MATH

Ragdoll, Austin Baker, you are about to participate in what could be the last match of your wrestling career. How do you…

 

Rags snatches the microphone away from Josh and pushes him out of the camera shot, before turning to face the camera.

 

RAGDOLL

Axel… tonight, you will wish that I ended your career back at World Without End. See you in hell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Michael Buffer is shown standing in the centre of the ring, glass shards all around him.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the LAS VEGAS STREETFIGHT for the HI-YAH World Heavyweight Championship! In this contest, there will be no DQ, no count outs, and the only ways to win are by pinfall, or submission! The loser of this match MUST LEAVE WRESTLING FOREVER!

 

COLE

Here we are guys. I’ve been calling matches for these two men for over eighteen months now, and all opinions aside, it will be a shame to see one of them leave.

 

COACH

Definitely Michael, Ragdoll is on par with the likes of AJ Flaire as the greatest X Division Champion of all time, and we have never seen anything like Axel. This will be a huge loss for the OAOAST either way.

 

We cut to a shot of Ragdoll and Jasmine walking up the corridor, and are surprised by the presence of al the OAOAST Superstars, who are lining the corridor. Ragdoll looks at all of them before walking on, but is stopped by Drek Stone, the OAOAST Champion.

 

DREK

I want you here Thursday night, I don’t want that asshole. You need me, you ask.

 

RAGDOLL

Drek, this is personal. You, or anyone else gets involved, I’ll kill them.

 

Ragdoll walks a few feet more before turning to Jasmine.

 

RAGDOLL

Jas...promise me you won't come out there.

 

JASMINE

Austin, if you need help, I'm going to come out there...

 

RAGDOLL

No...I can't be worried about you...no matter what happens, don't come out there.

 

Jasmine nods slightly, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

RAGDOLL

Promise me...

 

JASMINE

...I promise...I love you, Austin.

 

RAGDOLL

I love you too...don't come out there...I mean it.

 

Ragdoll walks on, up the stairs past the Gorilla position, and to the curtain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CUE: ‘Somebody Told Me’ by The Killers

 

The rocky song hits, but it doesn’t match Ragdoll’s mood, as he steps from behind the curtain and trudges on down the ramp, showered with boos from the massive crowd, and even some cheers, as this is his hometown. He doesn’t seem to be paying any attention though, as he just focuses on the ring.

 

BUFFER

Introducing the first participant, he is one of the greatest X Division Champions of all time. Widely considered the best wrestler to never wear the OAOAST World Championship, he has never failed to deliver great performances week after week. He has beaten a host of different OAOAST legends, such as Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, and our founder, Anglesault. He stands five feet eleven inches and weighs in at one hundred and sixty five pounds, and is the current and defending HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and Gentlemen, from Las Vegas, Nevada, RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGDOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!

 

A pop from the crowd at the mention of Las Vegas, but that doesn’t change their opinion of Ragdoll, the sadistic warrior. Rags steps between the ropes and into the ring, before slouching in the corner, but not sitting, as there is glass everywhere.

 

COLE

Ragdoll is looking as focused as ever tonight.

 

COACH

And as sadistic as ever.

 

CABOOSE

He’s ready guys; he’s been thinking up shit to do to Axel for months now, that mind of his is always ticking over.

 

The music dies down, and Ragdoll’s eyes focus on the entrance ramp. Michael Buffer stands ready for the next entrance.

 

*We see a shot of Axel walking through the same place as Ragdoll just walked, wrestlers filling the aisle. Drek Stone gives Axel a dirty look, and Axel shoots it right back at the Champion. Axel moves on, walking past The Global Party Exchange, Black T, Leon Rodez, Panther, his friend Gunner Sharps, who slaps him on the back, and then finally… to Crystal*

 

CRYSTAL

I guess this could be the last time…

 

AXEL

Yep, the last time we’re here. But it’s a little late now to get all lovey-dovey on me Crystal.

 

CRYSTAL

Uh-huh. Well, good luck out there, there’s a lot of stuff that hasn’t been said yet that should be.

 

AXEL

I know. But sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.

 

*Axel walks on, and Crystal is left with an interesting expression on her face, one of sadness*

 

Back at ringside, Ragdoll is impatiently awaiting Axel’s entrance, obviously wanting to get the whole match started. Suddenly…

 

 

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

 

The crowd pops, knowing what is coming. They can feel the electricity in the building, and the fear that consumes everyone, even though they know that they are in no danger of getting hurt. A drum beat starts up, and one red spotlight appears at the entrance ramp. Suddenly, hooded figures come from behind the entrance ramp, in single file, each carrying flaming staffs. They stop at different parts on the ramp, and place the staffs in holders, before disappearing into the crowd. The drum beat gets louder, and the guitar starts…

 

 

“Can You Feel That?”

 

 

The drums continue, their beat not phasing Ragdoll, who is focused on the entrance ramp.

 

“…shit.”

 

 

The guitars begin again, and the flames on the staffs begin to rise, as if possessed by the music, which builds up, and up…

 

 

“OW-A-A-A-A!”

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

 

Pyro shoots off of the top of the big screen and around the arena, and ‘Down With The Sickness” by Disturbed begins to blare over the loud speakers, eliciting a huge pop from the massive Las Vegas crowd. The red spotlight continues to shine on the entrance ramp, until a figure appears, doing the crucifix pose. The figure, The Dark Prince, steps out of the shadows and into the red spotlight, focusing on his opponent, the man who he puts his career up against tonight.

 

COLE

Way to make an entrance!

 

Axel begins his decent down the entrance ramp, all the while focusing on Ragdoll. He walks between the staffs, creating a path of fire, until he comes to the bottom two. He points to his left, then his right, and then with both hands at Ragdoll, before striking the crucifix pose…

 

BOOM! The staffs go out instantly, and the house lights come up!

 

CABOOSE

This won’t scare Ragdoll guys, he’s too focused, there is too much on the line tonight!

 

Axel walks to the ring steps, before walking up to the ring apron. Michael Buffer begins to announce his name over the crowd’s cheering.

 

BUFFER

And introducing his opponent, who made his OAOAST debut in July of 2003. He holds victories over some of the most famous OAOAST superstars, including Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, and even one of the founders of this company, CWM. He is a former Revolution Trophy winner, and Twenty-Four Seven Champion. A star in his home country, as well in Japan, his meteoric rise is unmatched, and no Australian has had more success in the squared circle. He stands six feet three inches tall, and weighs in tonight at two hundred and fifty five pounds… From Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS AAAAAAAAAAXXXXXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL!

 

Axel throws his coat to the floor and steps inside the glass ridden ring, locking eyes with Ragdoll. The referee goes to both men’s corners and tries to explain the rules of the match, but he gets no attention, as the stare down between the two men is not broken. He calls for the bell, and both men step forward.

 

COLE

The referee has called for the bell, and we are underway!

 

COACH

I thought these two guys were going to tear each other apart straight away, but a shot has not even been fired yet!

 

CABOOSE

Well you know these guys realise what this match means and what is involved. They are waiting for the right time.

 

Axel and Ragdoll come face to face, but there is no jaw jacking, both men remain strangely silent. The hatred and anger fills their faces, and they both step back…

 

 

…and strike each other at the same time!

 

COLE

Here we go!

 

Axel with a right hand, Ragdoll with a right hand, Axel with a right hand, Ragdoll returns the favor once again. Axel with another, Ragdoll with another, both men putting all of their force behind stiff, hard, meaningful right hands. Around twenty hard shots are exchanged, with the crowd feeling every knuckle hit every temple. Finally Ragdoll breaks the stalemate, kneeing Axel in the gut, and going for a suplex on the glass… but Axel lands a right hand to the midsection of Ragdoll, forcing him out of the front face lock. Another kick by Axel to Ragdoll’s gut, followed by a third, and a fourth. Ragdoll staggers back to the point where he is almost off balance, and Axel rears back, setting up for a lariat. Axel charges forward, but Ragdoll ducks the lariat, and begins peppering Axel with some more right hands! Axel is forced up against the ropes, Ragdoll rears back this time, and he takes both men over the top rope with a Cactus Jack clothesline!

 

COLE

Both men have so much disdain for each other, its amazing, the physical nature of this match is off the charts!

 

Axel and Ragdoll are up quickly on the outside, starting again where they left off, right hands, and more right hands, neither gaining a clear advantage. Ragdoll hits a right hand, but Axel comes back with a stiff uppercut that sends Ragdoll backward, and against the guard railing. Axel charges forward, but Ragdoll backdrops Axel over the guardrail… but Axel lands on his feet! Ragdoll turns around, and Axel grabs a hold of his head with two hands, before dropping his neck over the steel guard rail, both torquing his neck back, and crushing his larynx! Ragdoll gasps for air after the move, clutching at his throat, trying to get more air back into his system. Axel hops the guardrail, and lands a stiff boot to the head of Ragdoll, then looking down at his right hand, which is now bloody and grazed from the punches that have already been exchanged.

 

COLE

Look at Axel’s hand, and I imagine Ragdoll’s is the same way guys, just bloody from the battle that they have had!

 

Axel grabs Ragdoll by the hair, picking him up to his feet, but Ragdoll connects with a hard shot to the gut of Axel, sending him backwards, clutching at his stomach. Ragdoll measures a punch, and lands an unprotected shot right to Axel’s forehead.

Axel reels back, leaning on the guardrail, as Ragdoll shakes his hand. The cuts are deep, and his knuckles are raw. Axel pushes himself off the guardrail slowly as Ragdoll walks towards him, delivering another devastating punch to Axel's face, knocking the Aussie down to the mats. Ragdoll quickly grabs a glass table and places it in the guardrail corner.

 

COLE

Ragdoll is the first to touch the glass tables...I can only imagine what he's thinking about doing here.

 

Ragdoll slowly walks back towards the announcement tables, kicking Axel in the head along the way. He picks up a nearby chair and folds it up, before turning back towards his nemesis, who is pulling himself up using the guardrail. Ragdoll holds the chair in one hand, studying Axel, who slowly turns to face him...Ragdoll runs forward, throwing Axel the chair. Axel instinctively catcWHAM!!!! Milliseconds after catching the chair, Axel's head is sandwiched in-between the steel chair and the guardrail, courtesy of a Deceptacon Van Daminator!! Axel releases the chair and clutches at his head, writhing in pain on the mats. Ragdoll smiles smugly as he stands...and is greeted by...Cheers?

 

COLE

The fans...oddly enough, are actually CHEERING Ragdoll!

 

CABOOSE

They respect what both of these men have done, and they respect that one of their careers is ending tonight. These cheers are out of respect for BOTH men.

 

COACH

Look out guys, the glass is coming into play here!

 

Ragdoll slowly grabs Axel by the hair, dragging him toward the glass table. Ragdoll gently leans Axel up against the table face first...WHAM!! Axel delivers an elbow to Ragdoll's gut! WHAM!! Another!! WHAM!! ANOTHER!!! Axel's fighting back! Ragdoll, now visibly shaking from anger, grabs Axel once again by the hair and lifts his head up...CRASSSSHH!!!!!!!! The fans groan as Axel clutches at his face, which is now cut to all hell!

 

COLE

RAGDOLL JUST DROVE AXEL'S FACE THROUGH THE GLASS TABLE!!!

 

CABOOSE

Sadistic, thy name is Austin "Ragdoll" Baker!!

 

Ragdoll starts screaming random obscenities at Axel, who is rolling around in pain, still clutching his face. The camera's mic picks up some of Ragdoll's screams.

 

RAGDOLL

"YOU LITTLE PUNK!! JUST ACCEPT THAT I'M BETTER!! FUCKING RESPECT ME!!"

 

Ragdoll runs his hands through his hair as he looks around...his eyes suddenly lock on a large piece of glass. He smiles slightly as bends down and picks it up.

 

COLE

Oh no...Oh no...

 

CABOOSE

Ragdoll's sadistic, but he's not a killer...he won't...he wouldn't...

 

Ragdoll slowly drops to a knee and grabs Axel by the shirt collar. He quickly stabs a hole near the top, and slices down. The women in the audience shriek as Axel's shirt gets ripped off. Ragdoll's eyes are full of hatred, anger, jealousy...everything except love and sanity.

 

CABOOSE

My god...Ragdoll...

 

COACH

No...he's putting it near Axel's heart...

 

Ragdoll smiles wider as he slowly pushes the glass into Axel's chest, causing Axel to scream in pain. Ragdoll puts his hand over Axel's throat as he starts to crudely carve an "A"...then an "R"...then a "B"...the initials of Austin "Ragdoll" Baker. Ragdoll stands quickly as Axel clutches at his chest and rolls around in pain.

 

COLE

My god...Ragdoll just carved his initials into Axel's chest...

 

CABOOSE

He is completely out of his mind! He’s intent on seriously injuring Axel tonight!

 

Ragdoll slowly climbs into the ring and pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He smiles wide as the fans once again boo.

 

COLE

Such disrespect from Ragdoll! He has a cigarette while Axel is bleeding profusely.

 

Ragdoll slowly climbs up the turnbuckle and raises his cigarette towards the flaming barbed wire bat. The fans once again boo as Ragdoll pushes his long greasy hair out of his face, revealing his sadistic smile, and puts the cigarette in his mouth. Axel, meanwhile, is slowly beginning to stand. His face and chest are covered in blood. Ragdoll walks slowly over to the opposite side of the ring and climbs out. He reaches under and begins searching for something.

 

COLE

Oh my...look at Axel's face...

 

COACH

I'm going to be sick...

 

Ragdoll, apparently has found what he was looking for, and stands. He holds a Singapore Cane. He smiles wide once again as Axel climbs slowly into the ring, trying to avoid as much glass as possible.

 

COLE

No, don’t go in there Axel!

 

CABOOSE

Ragdoll has been dreaming of this for a month now, he’s loving every second of this!

 

Ragdoll puts the cane under the bottom rope and brushes it from side to side, making a clearing in the glass. He then quickly slides in and stands, rushing towards Axel...WHACK!!! Axel takes a cane shot to the head!!! WHACK!!! Another shot, but Axel won't go down!! WHACK!! Another shot, even harder than the first two, and Axel is still standing!! Ragdoll growls as he brings the cane back....CRACK!!! Axel slowly crumbles to the glass covered mat as the top half of the cane goes flying into the crowd!

 

COLE

He...HE JUST BROKE THAT BAMBOO CANE OVER AXEL'S HEAD!!

 

Ragdoll takes the cigarette out of his mouth and kicks some glass away, before dropping to his knees...WHACK!! WHACK!! WHACK!!! The fans groan as the broken cane slaps against Axel's bare back, leaving bright red welts. Axel remains still, having enough sense in his now-scrambled mind to know that if he rolls around, he'll be rolling in glass. He lets out screams of pain, though. Ragdoll finally throws the cane away and puts the cigarette back into his mouth as he stands, once again climbing out of the ring. He makes his way slowly over to Micheal Buffer.

 

COLE

What's Ragdoll doing over here?!

 

Ragdoll quickly grabs the mic and puts it to his lips.

 

RAGDOLL

"Fuck pinning this piece of shit...I've pinned him before. No, I'm going to prove once and for all that I'M fucking better than him!"

 

Ragdoll quickly slides into where he made the clearing and stands, walking over towards Axel, who is still lying on the mat. Ragdoll grabs him by his blood soaked hair and yanks him up.

 

RAGDOLL

"You piece of fucking shit! This is what you fucking wanted, and you can't fucking handle it?! FUCK YOU!! You're done! YOUR FUCKING CAREER IS DONE!! I want you to tell all these people in attendance, and the millions watching at home, that you've had enough! I want you to say, 'Austin...Mr. Baker...I'm done...I can't take the pain anymore...I'm done...'...I want you to say that right FUCKING now!"

 

Ragdoll shoves the mic into Axel's face, but Axel says nothing. Ragdoll is beginning to get frustrated.

 

RAGDOLL

"Just say it, Axel! Just fucking say it! I've already fucking won! You can't fucking beat me! Just say it!"

 

Once again Ragdoll shoves the mic to Axel's mouth, but Axel, once again, remains silent.

 

RAGDOLL

"JUST SAY IT, YOU FUCKING CUNT!! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!! YOU'RE DONE!! YOU'RE DONE!! YOU'RE NOTHING!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU?! DO YOU THINK ANYBODY EVEN FUCKING WANTS YOU IN THIS FUCKING COMPANY?! YOU'RE NOTHING!! YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WON'T FUCKING FLUSH!! I'M AUSTIN FUCKING BAKER!! YOU'RE NOTHING, YOU MEAT-HEADED SHIT SACK!! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!!!"

 

Ragdoll once again drives the mic into Axel's face...Axel slowly opens his mouth...

 

AXEL

"...F...Fuck...you..."

 

The fans erupt as Ragdoll starts shaking from anger. He suddenly drives Axel's head into the glass covered mat and sits on top of him, putting Axel's arms under his knees. Axel's pinned down. The ref goes to make the count, but Ragdoll shoves him away. He then puts his lit cigarette mere centimeters from Axel's right eye.

 

RAGDOLL

"YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING BURN YOUR EYE OUT?! DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!! I'M AUSTIN BAKER!! I'M THE GREATEST X CHAMPION IN THE HISTORY OF THIS FUCKING COMPANY!! WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED?! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I'LL END YOUR CAREER AND BURN OUT YOUR FUCKING EYES, YOU FUCK!! YOU FU..."

 

Ragdoll suddenly flies forward, courtesy of a toe kick to the back of the head from Axel!! The fans roar as Ragdoll goes in-between the bottom and second ropes! He lands on the apron as Axel suddenly shoots up...AND DROPKICKS INTO RAGDOLL'S STOMACH!! Ragdoll flies off the apron...CRASH!!!! The fans erupt as Ragdoll rolls around in pain amidst the shattered glass table!! Axel quickly stands and grabs a piece of glass from the ring before sliding out. He quickly straddles Ragdoll and rips off his shirt...AND DRIVES THE GLASS INTO HIS CHEST!! The fans cheers are mind-blowing as Axel carves an "A"...then an "X"...then an "E"...then an "L"!! Axel stands quickly, glaring down at Ragdoll, who clutches at his chest!

 

COLE

SOME FUCKING REDEMPTION FROM AXEL!! YES!!!

 

Axel quickly grabs Ragdoll by his greasy hair and lifts him up, driving his fist into his face. Axel backs up a bit, before rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Ragdoll's waist! Axel lifts...but Ragdoll turns in mid-air and lands on his feet! Ragdoll lifts...CRASH!!! OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY THROUGH ANOTHER GLASS TABLE!! Axel lies motionless on the mats as Ragdoll stands quickly. He reaches into the ring and grabs another piece of glass...and starts cutting at his head with it! Within seconds, Ragdoll's face is covered in blood! The camera's mic picks up his insane screams.

 

RAGDOLL

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO TO ME, AXEL, THAT I HAVEN'T ALREADY DONE TO MYSELF!! NOTHING FUCKING HURTS ME!!! NOTHING!!"

 

COLE

...That's...that's just too much...I can't take that...

 

CABOOSE

Ragdoll...we've said before that he's insane...but this proves that he's nuts...he's completely fucking insane...

 

Ragdoll throws down the bloody piece of glass and stomps towards Axel, who is starting to move...and starts untying his shoes. Within mere seconds, Ragdoll has ripped off one of Axel's boots, and is quickly going for the other...Axel is now shoe and sock-less. Ragdoll turns quickly and throws the boots into the crowd. Without a moment wasted, Ragdoll reaches under the ring and pulls out a regular table.

 

COLE

Axel...is now bootless...

 

CABOOSE

As sick and twisted as it is, it's genius. Axel now has to walk through the glass BAREFOOT!

 

Ragdoll quickly sets up the table near the turnbuckle, and gets to work folding a glass table. He lays the glass table on top of the wood one, then quickly picks up Axel. Ragdoll gently lays him on top of the two tables, punches him twice in the face for good measure...and climbs up the stairs...and UP THE TURNBUCKLE!!

 

COLE

Oh no...Oh god no...

 

With each step Ragdoll takes, the fans in attendance rise...Ragdoll perches himself on the top turnbuckle, and all the fans are standing, watching the madman.

 

CABOOSE

I think I know...I think I know what he's going to do...

 

Ragdoll slowly starts to stand, never taking his eyes off of Axel, who is motionless on the tables. Ragdoll crosses himself...AND LEAPS!! LAS VEGAS NIGHTMARE!! Time goes slowly as Ragdoll performs a picture-perfect Shooting Star Press...

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND AXEL ROLLS OFF THE TABLE!!!!! Ragdoll sees this, and the entire arena hears him yell "FUCK!!" moments before.....CRASH!!!!!!! The fans start chanting "HO-LY SHIT!!" as Axel, still lying on the mats, stares at Ragdoll, who is motionless amongst the shattered glass and wood chips.

 

COLE

RAGDOLL MISSED THE LAS VEGAS NIGHTMARE FROM THE TURNBUCKLE TO THE OUTSIDE!!! HE PUT HIMSELF THROUGH BOTH TABLES!!! MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

 

CABOOSE

He’s dead, they both are, there’s no way they can get up from this!

 

Axel begins to stir, his eyes fixed on Ragdoll, who lies motionless amongst the wreckage of glass and wood! Axel begins to crawl through the glass, his face and body covered in blood, crawling for all that he’s worth over his opponent, and finally…

 

 

 

… PUTTING AN ARM OVER HIM FOR THE COVER! The referee counts!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

CABOOSE

No! Not like this!

 

COLE

Axel has Ragdoll here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RAGDOLL KICKED OUT!

 

COACH

How the hell did he do that???

 

CABOOSE

Instinct. That’s the only thing that I can think of. Instinct.

 

Ragdoll and Axel both begin to show a greater amount of consciousness, reaching for the nearest ring rope to try and pull themselves up. Axel is the first one to reach the ropes, but with his lack of footwear, he finds it difficult to stand. Ragdoll gets to his feet on the other side, and immediately glares at Axel, his eyes full of pure hatred. Ragdoll stalks his prey, walking over to Axel slowly, waiting for him to get to his feet. Axel finally does so, using a broken piece of table to clear some of the glass away so he can stand. Ragdoll looks at his opponent with a half-smirk on his face, as Axel is almost helpless after what has been done to him so far. The two blood soaked warriors meet each others gaze, and Ragdoll lunges forward with a right hand! Axel staggers a step back onto the glass, which makes his scream in pain… but he still manages to come back with a right hand of his own! Ragdoll is in shock that Axel still has fight left in him after the punishment that he has been put through, and mouths to words ‘son of a bitch’ under his breath, before connecting with another stiff right hand! Axel fires back quickly this time, with a right of his own! Ragdoll with a right! Axel with a right! The fans building in anticipation with every clash of skull and fist!

 

COLE

Axel is fighting back! Axel still has life left!

 

Ragdoll finally gets the advantage, connecting with right hand after right hand to Axel’s already-mangled skull. He rears back and sets up for a clothesline, charges forward… but Axel ducks under it! Ragdoll turns around, Axel steadies…

 

 

 

…MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER ON THE GLASS!

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!”

 

COLE

OH MY GOD! RAGDOLL’S BACK DRIVEN INTO THE GLASS!

 

CABOOSE

No one can take this kind of pain and get back up!

 

Axel stands up pretty quickly for a guy that’s been through as much as he has in this match, and stares down at his lifeless opponent. He looks up at the crowd, anger, hatred, and exhaustion evident on his face. He raises his arms up in the crucifix pose, blood dripping from cuts in his forehead, his chest, and his arms, and yells, at the top of his lungs a chilling message for his opponent, one that is surprisingly filled with elation…

 

AXEL

OH, IT’S ON NOW MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S TIME RAGDOLL! YOU. ARE. FUCKED!

 

COLE

Axel’s got a new burst of adrenaline here! He’s got his second wind!

 

COACH

And heaven help anyone who tries to get in his way!

 

Axel looks down at his opponent and then looks up at the one item that has been neglected throughout the match, the barbed wire flaming baseball bat in the corner. He sees that Ragdoll is incapacitated for the moment, and so he decides to try and obtain it. He tries his best to step over the glass, but he can’t avoid it, and cringes every time he feels a piece piercing his flesh. Axel climbs the turnbuckles, albeit slowly, and finally reaches up and grabs the baseball bat from its hook. Meanwhile, Ragdoll is up on his feet, and gunning for Axel!

 

COLE

Look out Axel, Ragdoll’s coming!

 

CABOOSE

Kill him Rags!

 

Ragdoll gives Axel a shot to the back, and grabs him in a Crucifix Powerbomb position, but Axel is still holding the bat! Ragdoll runs to powerbomb his opponent on the glass, but Axel slips down his back, and cringes in pain, as he lands feet first on the glass. Ragdoll turns around…

 

 

 

 

…BAM! Axel LAYS RAGDOLL OUT with the Flaming Baseball bat!

 

COACH

WHAT A SHOT! REDEMPTION FROM AXEL!

 

Axel throws the bat out of the ring, and covers Ragdoll once again!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRNO! Ragdoll somehow kicks out of the pinfall attempt, his forehead now bleeding from deep gashes!

 

COLE

Ragdoll kicks out AGAIN! This man is not human!

 

COACH

Oh no! He’s a ZOMBIE!

 

CABOOSE

You really are a fuckin’ idiot.

 

Axel pleads, BEGS Ragdoll to get up, and his opponent obliges. Ragdoll gets up to both feet and looks at his crimson-soaked opponent. Axel springs into action, delivering a hard right hand! Another! Another! Another! BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM! Axel is delivering hard rights at blistering speed, and Ragdoll is back against the ropes! Axel grabs Ragdoll’s left arm and tries an Irish Whip, but Ragdoll blocks it! Axel tries the whip once again, but it is blocked a second time!

 

COLE

Ragdoll won’t budge here!

 

CABOOSE

He won’t let Axel win, if it takes every ounce of energy, he won’t let Axel get the advantage!

 

Axel tries to Irish Whip Ragdoll a third time, but… BAM! Ragdoll goes downstairs with a low kick to Axel’s nuts! Axel clutches at his privates in pain, and Ragdoll takes advantage, locking his opponent in a front face lock! Ragdoll flashes an evil smirk to the crowd, before attempting a suplex on the glass… but Axel blocks it! Ragdoll tries again, but Axel blocks it again! Axel connects with a hard shot to the stomach of Ragdoll. Axel reverses the front face lock with one of his own, lifts Ragdoll high in the air, and…

 

 

 

 

 

…BRAINBUSTER ON THE GLASS!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD! RAGDOLL’S HEAD WAS JUST DRIVEN INTO THE GLASS! AXEL HAS A COVER!

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Ragdoll JUST gets a shoulder up!

 

COACH

And Ragdoll kicks out AGAIN! This guy is amazing!

 

Axel looks down at Ragdoll with disbelief, but soon realises that to beat his opponent, he is going to have to act straight away and try and keep on the offensive. Axel picks Ragdoll up to his feet immediately, and strikes the crucifix pose to the crowd, who respond with a mighty cheer!

 

COLE

Axel might be going for a big move here; he might be trying to put Ragdoll away!

 

CABOOSE

No, Ragdoll won’t lose! He can’t lose!

 

Axel hoists Ragdoll over his shoulder, and tries to get him into the Tombstone position for Dark Royalty!

 

COACH

Axel is going to try and piledrive Ragdoll onto the glass! This could be the final nail in the coffin of Ragdoll’s career!

 

Axel tries desperately to get Ragdoll into position, but Ragdoll has life still left in him! Ragdoll slips off Axels back… and REVERSES THE HOLD, getting Axel into the tombstone position!

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES!

 

COLE and COACH

NO!

 

Ragdoll jumps…

 

 

 

… DARK ROYALTY ON THE GLASS!

 

 

COLE

RAGDOLL USED AXEL’S OWN INVERTED PILEDRIVER AGAINST HIM!

 

CABOOSE

YES! AXEL’S CAREER IS GONE! DONE! FINISHED!

 

 

 

Ragdoll puts his arm over the motionless Axel…

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOO! Axel JUST gets a shoulder up! The crowd collectively breathes a sigh of relief!

 

 

COLE

I thought it was done, I really thought Axel had lost.

 

COACH

Amazing, the resiliency of these two guys is amazing!

 

Ragdoll can’t believe that Axel kicked out, he is FURIOUS that Axel somehow found the strength to get a shoulder up. So much so, that he gets to his feet, and goes straight for the referee, grabbing him by the collar and threatening to beat the shit out of him for not counting the three count. The referee tells Ragdoll that he can’t manhandle him, and points to his OAOAST Official logo. Ragdoll doesn’t take any notice, and propels the referee over the top rope, to the floor! The referee is out cold!

 

COLE

Ragdoll is taking his frustrations out on the referee! As much as he says he doesn’t care about the victory, Ragdoll wants Axel gone from the OAOAST!

 

CABOOSE

Oh definitely Michael, Ragdoll cares a whole lot more than he is letting on about winning this match! He wants to retire Axel just as much as he wants to hurt him!

 

Ragdoll climbs out of the ring, talking to himself, obviously cursing Axel for kicking out and continuing to take the immense punishment that Ragdoll has handed to him. Ragdoll reaches under the ring and rummages around for something, and finally finds it. He pulls out the inanimate object…

 

 

 

…a sack???

 

 

COLE

Huh? What the hell does Ragdoll want a sack for?

 

COACH

Yeah, Santa came to my house last night!

 

CABOOSE

Well since Christmas is a time of giving, I think Ragdoll is about to give Axel the contents of that sack, or at least, make sure he gets well acquainted with them!

 

COLE

What do you mean?

 

CABOOSE

Well, let’s just say that Austin Baker loved Mick Foley as a kid.

 

COACH

Yay! He’s bringing out socko!

 

Ragdoll steps back into the ring, the sack firmly in his hand. He walks over to one of the corners, and on the way past gives Axel a stiff kick to the back of the head for good measure, that entices a ‘OOOOOOH’ from the crowd. Ragdoll takes the sack over to a corner, where he drops…

 

 

 

 

… THUMBTACKS.

 

COLE

Oh my god. Thumbtacks.

 

COACH

Business has just picked up!

 

CABOOSE

This is gonna be REAL good.

 

Ragdoll empties about half the contents of the bag onto the mat, placing the rest in the opposite corner. He looks at Axel and slaps the back of his head, mocking his fallen opponent. He begins to taunt Axel just like he did earlier…

 

RAGDOLL

YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU STUPID ASSHOLE, YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!

 

Axel, now showing some signs of life, tries to get to his feet. Surprisingly, Ragdoll helps his opponent, lifting him up, but obviously having bad intentions. Ragdoll gets Axel in a Suplex position near the corner with the thumbtacks and sits his larger opponent on the top rope, leaving him incapacitated for the time being. Axel sits on the top rope, and Ragdoll soon joins him, a mixture of glass and thumbtacks below where they are perched. He grabs Axel by the head in an Ace Crusher position, and laughs an evil, satanic laugh that sends shivers down the crowd’s spine.

 

COLE

What’s he going to try here?

 

CABOOSE

I’ve seen Ragdoll do this move before! Axel’s head is going to come up close and personal with those tacks!

 

Ragdoll pulls Axel up to the top rope so that both men are as high as they can be! The pole used to hold the baseball bat behind them, Ragdoll tries…

 

 

 

 

… TOP ROPE DIAMOND CUTTER FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE TACKS…

 

 

 

 

…BUT AXEL HOLDS ON TO THE POLE AND RAGDOLL GOES CRASHING INTO THE TACKS AND GLASS!

 

 

“HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”

 

CABOOSE

NO! NO!

 

COACH

That was one of THE SICKEST misses I have ever seen guys! That was AMAZING! Ragdoll landed from the top rope on those thumbtacks and that glass!

 

Ragdoll rolls onto his side, obviously in immense pain! His back ad legs red and filled with thumbtacks and shards of glass! Obviously in shock with adrenaline running through his body, Ragdoll gets to his feet almost straight away!

 

COLE

Axel is up top here!

 

Axel is indeed on the top rope, and flies off, connecting with a top rope clothesline!

 

COACH

Clothesline by Axel, that almost took Ragdoll’s head off! COVER!

 

COLE

He can’t kick out, he won’t kick out!

 

CABOOSE

KICK OUT! KCIK OUT!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ragdoll rolls onto his chest!

 

 

COLE

HOLY SHIT, THE CRAZY BASTARD KICKED OUT!

 

CABOOSE

RAGDOLL IS STILL ALIVE!

 

Axel immediately grabs Ragdoll by the head and pulls it back, applying the DEVIL’S CLUTCH!!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Devil’s Clutch! Devil’s Clutch! RAGDOLL MAY TAP!

 

Ragdoll screams in pain from the painful submission hold! Axel tries to hook one arm behind, but he can’t, so Ragdoll has one arm free! Axel arches back harder on Ragdoll, making his opponent scream even louder! Suddenly, Ragdoll raises his arm in the air, and looks down at the amt, still in excruciating pain!

 

CABOOSE

NO Ragdoll! Don’t tap! NO!

 

Ragdoll raises his arm, and lowers it…

 

 

 

 

…lowers it…

 

 

 

 

…but grabs a large piece of glass! Ragdoll buries the glass into Axel’s arm, CAUSING AXEL TO RELEASE THE HOLD!

 

COLE

HOLY CRAP! Ragdoll just BURED that glass into Axel’s arm! That is SICK!

 

Axel grasps at his arm, and pulls the piece of glass out, in a real ‘UUUGH’ moment fro the crowd! He struggles to his feet, still finding it difficult to stand, as the glass has pierced his socks and are now stained red from the cuts!

 

COACH

Jeez, Axel must be in such pain!

 

CABOOSE

He knew he was going to go through this guys, he knew it was going to be this bad.

 

COLE

But could he ever have predicted to be in this much pain??

 

Axel is obviously in a great amount of torture, stepping out of the ring, putting all his weight on his left foot, because his right foot is obviously the more heavily cut. Axel grabs a glass table from the outside, and with great difficulty, he folds it up, and slides it into the ring.

 

COLE

Axel is going for all or nothing this time, he’s bringing out the big guns again, another glass table!

 

CABOOSE

He’s wasting way too much time guys!

 

Axel gingerly steps back into the ring and grabs the glass table, using the strength that he has left to set up the legs and stand it upright. Meanwhile, Ragdoll is up to his hands and knees, coughing and spluttering, obviously feeling the effects of the thumbtack-ridden landing. Axel sets up the table, putting it in the correct position. Axel then grabs the sack of thumbtacks that Ragdoll placed in that corner earlier, and proceeds to empty the contents onto the glass table!

 

COLE

I don’t know what Axel has in mind this time, but after what we have seen, NOTHING surprises me in this match!

 

He looks at the thumbtacks around him that scattered due to the force of Ragdoll’s landing, and takes a deep breath, exhausted from the action that he has just seen. Ragdoll has found his way to his feet, although he doesn’t seem to be ‘all there’, with thumbtacks sticking out of his back and the back of his head.

 

COACH

Axel is setting up that table, but Ragdoll is getting up!

 

The two men finally both come to their senses, but Axel still does not realise that Ragdoll is there, he has been too busy setting up the glass table, which could be viewed as a very bad move. Finally, axel turns around to face his opponent, but soon staggers back, crying out in pain! Ragdoll has grabbed a thumbtack from the canvas, and stabbed Axel in the forehead with it as soon a she turned around!

 

COLE

That is sick!

 

Ragdoll lines up his boot, and… BOOM! All the males in the crowd breathe a collective sigh his Ragdoll kicks a field goal between Axel’s legs!

 

CABOOSE

Man, nothing is sacred!

 

Axel goes down to one knee, and Ragdoll runs to the other side of the ring! Ragdoll charges… DEVIL DOLL!!!

 

COLE

DEVIL DOLL BY RAGDOLL! COVER!

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

COACH

WHAT?

 

COLE

HE KICKED OUT OF THE DEVIL DOLL!

 

CABOOSE

HOW????

 

Ragdoll looks somewhat stunned that Axel kicked out, and has that deranged look on his face again! Ragdoll begins picking up the shards of glass, and trying to force them down Axel’s throat!

 

RAGDOLL

YOU CAN’T END ME! YOU WILL NEVER END ME YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, YOU ARE NOTHING! I’M GOING TO FUCKING END YOU AXEL! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!

 

COLE

This… is just sick…

 

COACH

Ragdoll was right last Thursday… this is disturbing.

 

Ragdoll stand up and runs to the other side of the ring, obviously setting up for another Devil Doll. Axel shards of glass in his mouth, his lips now cut, spits out the glass, and coughs up blood! Axel grabs his throat in pain, before struggling up to one knee!

 

COLE

NO Axel! Don’t get up!

 

CABOOSE

Yes Axel, Get up and face your destiny! Feel this moment guys, feel this…

 

Ragdoll runs at Axel…

 

 

 

 

 

…BUT AXEL CATCHES RAGDOLL’S FOOT!

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

Axel spins Ragdoll’s foot around, and jumps up from his knees to his feet! Axel grabs Ragdoll from behind, and hoists him up onto his shoulders!

 

CABOOSE

DON’T DO IT! NO!

 

Axel turns to look at the crowd, before shouting a simple message…

 

AXEL

BYE BYE, MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Axel Rotates Ragdoll over…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AXEL SLAM THROUGH THE FUCKING GLASS TABLE COVERED IN THUMBTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

AXEL SLUMPS ON TOP OF RAGDOLL FOR THE COVER!

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner… and NEW HI-YAH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… AAAAAAAAAAAXELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

 

The fans go absolutely INSANE at the three count, as ‘Down with the Sickness’ begins to blare over the speakers. The referee holds up Axel’s arm, but there is no energy in their man, they are both on the mat, exhausted from their titanic battle.

 

COLE

These two men gave us everything tonight, every single ounce of their being!

 

COACH

They should both be commended for a very long time, but Ragdoll must now leave the wrestling business!

 

CABOOSE

This is a sad night for the OAOAST!

 

After a minute or so, the referees clear the glass out of the way and roll Axel out of the ring, followed by Ragdoll. Both have regained their wits, and Ragdoll seems to have a tear in his eye.

 

COLE

This is an emotional moment, like him or not, Austin ‘Ragdoll’ Baker was one hell of a competitor, and he entertained us every second he was in the OAOAST!

 

COACH

I agree Michael Cole, fuck kayfabe, Austin Baker; we are in debt to you, congratulations on a stellar career in the OAOAST.

 

Both Axel and Ragdoll begin to walk up the ramp with help from the referees, but they soon stop. The crowd let out an almighty cheer, and it is soon evident that the entire locker room has emptied onto the top of the entrance ramp. Every OAOAST Superstar except a few are at the entrance ramp, applauding both men, and the career or Austin Baker. We see a shot of Triple C who also get on their feet and applaud, and the crowd soon follows.

 

‘RAG-DOLL! RAG-DOLL!’

 

Both Axel and Ragdoll get to the top of the ramp, and are greeted with handshakes and hugs from the superstars. We see that Austin’s brother Ken is on the ramp, and he gives his brother a hug, as Crystal and Gunner Sharps do the same to Axel. The women are crying, and the men are trying hard not to, but it is evident that they are losing one of their own.

 

CABOOSE

Austin Baker, we thank you for all that you have done, for the effort that you have given, and for the friendships that you have made.

 

Axel and Ragdoll soon come face to face, as the superstars back away to give them a moment. They look at each other, shake hands, and nod at each other, as a sign of respect.

 

COLE

They may have wanted to kill each other five minutes ago, but screw that, they are great friends.

 

Ragdoll is then given a microphone, to which he addresses the sold out crowd.

 

RAGDOLL

Shit… I just wanted to say thank you to everybody behind me, to all of you, and to everyone that has helped me out over the years. It’s hard to leave this, but I gotta go. So bye all, it’s been a fucking blast.

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!”

 

 

COLE

Well Austin Baker is now officially retired from the wrestling business by losing this hellacious contest to Axel! What a night it has been, and what a 2005 it is shaping up to be! For Jonathon Coachman and Caboose, I’m Michael Cole at OAOAST Climax. Goodnight everybody!

 

*END SHOW*

Edited December 28, 2004 by Stephen Joseph

[Stephen Joseph 0]

Notes:

 

The show is final as of Tuesday at 11am. I only have 1 graphic from Papacita that is currently working, but it included Sly, so I did not use it. Sorry for the lack of graphics. However, the content is indeed superb, with maybe the best match I've read since the OAOAST started on this show.

 

Thanks for making the effort around the holidays.

 

Credits(in no particular order)

Zack

Tony

NY Untouchable

Papacita

Nice Guy Adam

The Mad Cappa

Patty O'Green

Eski~!!!!!!

CandyColoredBlues (Good Luck!)

 

Producer in Charge: Stephen Joseph

Edited December 29, 2004 by Stephen Joseph