Torch article in 2001

[Guest Loss]

I found this on web archive after thinking it disappeared into the void when the Torch revamped their site. It's a great read, and an inside look at how the whole ECW angle in 2001 happened and the politics that led to it. Keller's being sarcastic here obviously and never mentions Heyman by name, but those of you who think Heyman is the end-all, be-all may find this interesting if you're curious why so many people have a problem with the way he does things.

 

Once a year in the Torch Newsletter we publish a list of Wrestling's 15 Most Influential People. Usually that list consists only of people who draw a paycheck from the wrestling industry and take part in major decisions that change the course of what fans see on TV. However, never before has the opportunity been greater to have as much influence as those on that list. Here is a step by step guide to how you can achieve Great Influence over Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Shane McMahon, and any other great promoter now or in the future.

 

-First, come up with something that's being done poorly and imagine how it could be improved. This can be any pet idea you have. (Admit it, you have more than one of these.) For instance, reviving the NWO, or pushing the light-heavyweight division, or pushing hardcore wrestling, or bringing back lucha libre style wrestling, or bringing Jim Cornette in as booker, or bringing Jim Cornette to Raw as a color commentator, or booking a revival of Smoky Mountain Wrestling on Raw.

 

-Sit back and watch as the idea is being done poorly. Do not say anything to anyone! Make sure you stay quiet, because timing is everything. Don't tell your friends, don't write letters, don't even complain to your dog. It's important, for your idea to eventually be accepted, that the idea it is replacing fail miserably first. Do not contribute to the complaining, and definitely don't offer Band-Aid solutions. Be sure the existing concept fails as miserably as possible.

 

-Then, when the timing is right, start sending dozens and dozens, if not hundreds, of e-mails to various wrestling websites that run reader feedback. Tell them, under dozens of made-up names, how something isn't being done right and is doomed to fail. Say that you're never watching wrestling again because of how lame and doomed this angle is. Be sure to make it clear there is no hope. This will strike fear into the promoters and wrestlers who thought that things were going just fine. But now that it appears all over the internet that the fans are rejected their idea, they'll get desperate for new ideas and suggestions. They'll be insecure and looking for a savior.

 

-Then, a few days, or at most a couple of weeks after that first letter campaign, bombard these same websites with letters suggesting your idea. Write letters under dozens of made up names under various e-mail services. Don't just use Hotmail and AOL (where it's easy to make up e-mail names; that's too obvious). Send these letters to various websites that you know are read by the top promoters and power brokers. Make it seem as if there is a groundswell for your idea. Be sure on some letters to use ALL CAPS, while on other letters, ignore the shift-key entirely. Sometimes use three dots between every sentence, other times use perfect punctuation. This guarantees that the website editors reading the letters will assume that they are "different people" writing. Use different grammar, also.

 

-During this time, if at all possible, befriend a few internet columnists. Offer to help them. Interact with them via e-mail, or over the phone if possible. Become friends with them, be chatty about subjects you share in common. Then, when the time is right, tell them you have an idea for a column. Suggest that they write a column about your idea. Be sure you make this suggestion right around the time you're doing your e-mail campaign. Repeat the above step with any radio show hosts.

 

-Then, try to get as many internet sites as possible who do polls to ask a "yes or no" question regarding your idea that you've popularized beyond reality. Then, when the poll goes up, spend an entire afternoon hitting "yes" over and over again on the poll. Make sure the poll is as lopsided as possible (although make sure the poll numbers don't end up more than 90 percent in your favor because then the poll will completely lack credibility and people will grow suspicious that some shenanigans have taken place).

 

At this point, the gullible, overworked wrestling promoters, and especially his "yes-men" who long ago figured out how to manipulate him, will see the "groundswell of support" for your idea and push for it. Without a doubt, if you follow all of the above steps, your idea will be given a try. Just as politicians rely on polls to decide what they say and how they say it these days, wrestling promoters have a similar crutch. Rather than take responsibility for their own ideas, they are now cowardly reacting strictly to what they think is the consensus of the "internet." That way, if it doesn't work, it's the fault of those damn hardcore fans. If it does work, they take credit for doing the proper research and figuring out what the "real wrestling fan" really wanted.

 

Then, after your idea is implemented, your job isn't done yet. Now you must send hundreds of e-mails to various websites praising the angle as the greatest thing that has ever happened to pro wrestling. Talk about your friends who weren't watching wrestling, but heard about your idea and now are watching again. Talk about how you're taking out your credit card right now to spend money to support the promotion because of this idea. (Efficiency Tip: Do two tasks at once, if possible. Type these letters while talking to your website and radio show friends about how great the idea was.)

 

Of course, you must now vote "thumbs up" in every internet poll possible. Then, when the results come in, encourage your internet friends to tout the results in major headlines. (Again, be sure the "thumbs up" rate doesn't go higher than 95 percent or it will completely lack statistical credibility and people will know something is up; 88 percent thumbs up is a good point to stop.) It helps if these internet friends are looking for jobs in the business themselves somewhere down the line. You can tell them if you ever get a job, you'll hire them! That guarantees good press from them forever.

 

One problem: What if the idea really doesn't work. What if the reality is the people in the arena don't respond to it, or only small pockets of people respond to it? Easy. Just tell everybody that they didn't hear it correctly, and that the response was overwhelming. Tell people that fans off camera were standing, but the fans on camera were all "comp tickets" given away to non-fans, so they don't really matter. Lie, lie, lie, spin, spin, spin. Overwhelm people with as much evidence (real or fictional) that contradicts anything that will dampen the sheer exhilaration of your successful pet idea.

 

What about critics or your idea? Answer: Personal attacks. Be sure to call them names and do anything you can to call into question their motives. Say they are jealous, have a person grudge, or are just in general miserable SOBs who hate anyone who is successful. Attack, attack, attack. Make it personal! If some non-conforming website writers point out flaws in your idea, write letters criticizing them as "non-fans" or "grumpy people who should find something better to do than rain on others' parades." Better yet, have your wrestling columnist friends who wants a job in the business lambast the critics for "thinking too hard" and "not just sitting back and being a fan."

 

What if the ratings don't go up? That's more difficult to explain away, but there are hundreds of excuses to explain ratings stalls or drops. Just check out the excuses used by Kevin Sullivan, Vince Russo, Paul Heyman, and Vince McMahon over the years during their poor ratings periods. Blame the season, blame what aired on other channels, blame the network itself for a lack of support, and (of course) blame the internet and the media.

 

The only problem with this overall plan is that when the idea works, you can't take credit for it. While you can be tremendously influential, you can never let it be known it was you who made it happen (outside of your inner circle of friends, who will heap praise on you for a plan/scam well executed). That would reveal the scam. Instead, try to make it seem like it was an idea of the boss.

 

Nothing pleases a boss more than public credit for something, even if he didn't come up with the idea. In this case, he will think it was his idea, anyway, since all he did was come up with the idea based on "fan demand." If possible, plant the seed with as many people as possible that it was the boss's idea. If the public thinks the idea was the boss's, the boss is much more apt to defend it, and do anything possible to make sure it works. After all, he doesn't want to be held responsible for a failed concept.

 

And if your plan works, then you can use the same tactics the next time you have a marvelous idea that you want to assure is implemented.

 

P.S. If somebody catches on to your plan/scam and calls you on it, just make a lot of references to conspiracy theories, JFK, and UFOs. Talk about how there is no way possible you could so cunningly manipulate a genius as smart as Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Shane McMahon, or whoever the boss is at the time of your scam.

[claydude14 0]

So what did Heyman do this for?

[RedJed 0]

I'd like a little more documented proof that this was even Heyman he was mentioning the whole time...

[Guest Loss]

Heyman was the one who was denying after the fact, time after time, that it was his idea. He gave the credit to Vince and even specifically said that there was no way he could outsmart a "genius" like Vince.

 

What kind of documented proof do you want? Everyone was on to his game at the time.

[claydude14 0]

...So what angle was this for?

[Guest Loss]

This is when ECW got involved in the Invasion.

 

Did you guys all just start watching and following the net recently? Just curious.

[claydude14 0]

I've been watching since 94, reading news site (iwrestling.com was my first, then 1wrestling for a while and more recently 411mania/Insidepulse). I don't think I knew much of anything about the Torch or Observer when I first broke into the net scene, although I remember hearing about Heyman doing this although that was pretty recently someone mentioned it. I just had never known what he was pushing for.

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

I remember this from 'back in the day'. It seemed more like Wade had an ax to grind than trying to put out a story.

 

I'd also like to point out that Wade Keller is a self-righteous little shit who is about as impartial as an unimpartial person could be.

[Fro 0]

While there's probably some grains of truth to this, Heyman never sent "hundreds of e-mails" or voted thousands of times on internet polls.

 

I don't doubt he's sent e-mails to sites under fake names, and he certainly is "friends" with Scherer. What Keller says is mostly BS (this the guy who's said OVW is closing several times because he hates Cornette). He also doesn't like Heyman.