Sjl metal, may 8th!

May 9, 2002

Singles Match

Ced Ordonez vs. Mafia

Singles Match

Scott Reid vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

Handicap Match

Insane Luchador/Poisyn vs. Cutthroat

European Title #1 Contendership Match

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Frost

European Title Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams © vs. Tod deKindes

Singles Match

Z vs. Flexxx…

Triple Threat Match

Jacob Helmsley vs. Sydney Sky vs. Xero

World Title Match

Tom Flesher © vs. Ash Ketchum

May 9, 2002

In select markets, the Smarks Network wraps up commercials and heads straight into the intro for SJL Metal, featuring short clips of stars as ‘The Superior One’ Tom Flesher, Ash Ketchum, Flunkmasta Flexxx, Ced Ordonez, Mafia, Z, Jacob Helmsley, Sydney Sky and many other faces. A hard metal anthem winds down, as the SmarkTron is shown and pyro fires from the rafters down onto the stage area, creating HUGE explosions only befitting of the opening to one of the SJL’s flagship shows. Brief camera shots of fans holding up signs showing their like and dislike of certain stars is dispayed, as Axis welcomes the SJL fandom.

“(Axis) Welcome to the One! The Only! S.J.L. METAL! Coming to you from The Dome in Springfield. I’m Axis alongside the Mac Daddy himself-“

“(Edwin) THE Crown Prince of Flash and Panache….Eddie MacPhISTOOO!”

“(King) You’re stealing my camera time. And introducing the leader of this announce crew, The King of Hearts, The Heartbreaker…Suicide King.”

“(Edwin) Who sucks immensely, by the way.”

“(Axis) No fighting this early, children. First up, is a match which for all intents and purposes should be on later in the show. But, as a treat for our fans, we present it to you right now…”

The lights fade out, as the hard drums and grunge guitars of "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong hits. Multi-colored strobe lights pulse along with the song, flashing onto the ring and entry-way as numerous spotlights circle the also-darkened stage, awaiting for Mafia to make his entrance. He throws aside the curtain and emerges, coming to a halt just at the head of the ramp. The spotlights come to a stop on Mafia posed in the Crucifix and back to the crowd, as the fans boo mercilessly at their instigator revealed. With a moment to soak up the hate, he turns and begins walking to the ring, taking his time as he struts arrogantly down the ramp, forcing the fans to wait for the match, as the spotlights follow him on his descent.

“(King) Pffft. Curtain jerking. No way does Mafia deserve this. It’s all bullshit. Edwin is trying to hold him down.”

“(Edwin) When we’re at the announce desk, we talk in the big boy voice, King. And I am not holding him back. A match like this at the beginning of the show will reel in the viewers like fish. FISH~!!!”

“(Axis) I like fish.”

“(King) No one cares what you like, slut.”

“(Funyon) The following contest, is a Singles Match, schueduled for One-Fall! First, making his way down to the ring, hailing from Denver, Colorado and weighing in at 215 pounds…Representing The New Sound, MMAAAFIAAAA!”

He takes a quick detour at the bottom of the ramp, and walks up the ring steps and onto the apron whilst shooting off dirty looks and insults to those fans lining the ring. As he steps over the second rope, into the ring, he whips off his trenchcoat and tosses it to the referee, Matthew Kivell, who simply throws it over the top rope onto the floor, raising the ire in Mafia. He shrugs it off, as he continues with his entrance, walking to the center of the ring and spinning on his heel, down onto a knee in the middle of the ring. He proceeds to raise his arms and flex for the camera, as a chorus of boos fill the arena once again. As he hears the crowd boo him once more, he runs and jumps on the ropes nearest the camera, proceeding to argue with the fans.

“(Axis) Vain. Arrogant. A chip on his shoulder. One angry Italian is Mafia, who seems to always be in a bad mood, at least inside the ring.”

As Mafia blocks the crowd out and steps down from the ropes to loosen up, “Esaka?” begins blasting over the speakers as Ced’s SmarkTron of black and white in-ring footage begins rolling, and simple blue lights flash. The crowd claps in rythym for a while with the song, before Ced throws aside the entrance curtain and emerges, the fans giving off a huge roar for the fan favorite. He begins to jog down the ramp, slapping the outstretched hands of eager fans along the way.

“(Funyon) And his opponent, from San Jose, California and weighing in at 191 pounds. Represnting X-Force 9…Ced ORDONEZ!

Mafia stands up against the far turnbuckle watching Ced with evil eyes, as his opponent slides into the ring and takes off his autographed XF9 t-shirt, throwing it into the crowd before stretching out in his corner. With both parties in the ring, Kivell signals for the bell, and calls for Ced and Mafia to get it on.

**DING DING DING

“(Axis) Of course if you watched our last Crimson, you know that this contest stems from a Flexxx and Mafia versus Ash and Ced main event.”

“(King) Although, they do have history before then, as this is their second singles mach. As much as I don’t want to own up to it, Ced defeated The Hitman in that match. Everything was forgotten until last week, when Mafia and Flexxx decided to put XF9 on their list.”

“(Edwin) This match smells of tension, as Mafia and Ordonez just may have a feud on their hands. It also reeks of Axis. Try a Tic-Tac.”

“(King) Ooooh! Tag!”

“(Axis) Juh?

As the writer tires of the commentary, Ced and Mafia come out to the center of the ring to mix it up. Both men thrust their arms forward, and lock. Both struggle for position for what seems like long moments, before Kivell comes to break the stall in the action. Ced complys, though as Kivell stands in between them, Mafia reaches over and give Ordonez the thumb poke to the right eye. Ordonez staggers back, as he turns away from the action, tending to himself. Mafia denies the llegal maneuver as Kivell queries him. Mafia though, pushes Kivell aside for the pursuit on Ordonez. Mafia sneaks in behind Ordonez and grabs the left arm, bringing it back and pulling, with the Hammerlock. Ced tries a quick reverse into the go-behind, to no success. Ced tries for a reach of Mafia’s legs in-between his own, for a trip up, but Mafia has perfect positioning, doing what he knows best. With an idea, he takes a sprint for the ropes, to attempt and throw Mafia out of the ring. Mafia though, brings that to a halt, as he dives down and takes the frame of Ordonez with him. Both men on the mat, Mafia mounts and keeps the arm wrenched in the ‘lock.

“(Axis) If you’re just joining us fans, you haven’t missed much. Mafia simply working over the arm of Ordonez right now, after an Eye Poke. Of course Ced bare chested, and in his standard gear of long, dark blue tights, with both the XF9 and lightning design. And Mafia in the all black, with that Mafia shirt and black leather pants…Hair a bit longer than Ced; in case any of our newer fans might have needed a reference. That black leather, very 80s metal band of Mafia. Very stylish, about 15 years ago.”

“(King) You’re jealous, everyone’s jealous. Mafia’s a trendsetter. He’s bringing leather back, baby.”

“(Edwin) Blah. I told him last week to get a haircut. This week he has those atrocious chops on the side of his face. TRIM YOUR SIDEBURNS, HIPPIE~!”

The fans sitting around ringside crack a laugh at Edwin, before turning full attention back towards the match, which sees Mafia still keeping the Hammerlock clinched in tight. With the full support of the fans behind him, Ced fights up to his feet. With the Hammerlock still locked, Ced does the only thing he knows possible, as he reaches back and grabs onto the head of Mafia, now with a good base, he leaps straight up and comes down once again, tossing Mafia off him with a Snapmare. Mafia coming to his feet, has his arm clutched by Ced, who whips him to the ropes. Mafia comes back and Ced dives, as Mafia hopes over, rebounding off the other side. Ced leaps up, and takes a hop back towards Mafia, nailing him with the Back Elbow. Mafia hops up again off the mat, and tries for the wild Clothesline, ducked by Ordonez. With Mafia’s back to Ced, Ced dives down and trips up Mafia with a take-down. With Mafia flat on his stomach, Ced seques and intertwines his legs with the right knee of Mafia, locking in a Reverse Crucifix Kneebar. Ced tugs away at the knee, as Mafia screams in pain and claws to the ropes.

“(Axis) Mafia getting some of his own treatment on him now, as Ced Ordonez gets that devastating Kneebar on Mafia. Two accomplished mat guys fighting for an advantage, and the fans are eating it up.”

“(King) Uh, how do you do that thing anyway?”

“(Edwin) What thing would that be?”

“(King) This thing, ~.“

“(Edwin) Dunno. It began showing up after random words of mine during a mystical and spiritual trip to Mexico to purchase some illegal fireworks and some cheap tequila.”

“(Axis) I thought the fireworks were seized by the border cops…”

“(Edwin) Yeah, they were. Luckily a black-market panda cub I procured, I was able to disguise in human clothes and throw him in the backseat with a blanket over him. I think one of you must recall. Remember, I set it loose in Vancouver. He was set free!”

“(Axis) Except that animal control picked it up in about 10 minutes and was taken to a local zoo. It’s not exactly free. Besides, I don’t think you should be telling about all your illegal escapades on the air.”

“(King) Idiot.”

“(Edwin) But the panda was so cute, it thought it was people. Even tried to bite and kill me, like a real person.”

Mafia down on the mat, still screaming in pain, finally gets to the ropes, and Ced breaks the hold. Mafia reaches up for the ropes and pulls himself up, noticeably limping on one leg. Ced reaches out, and grabs Mafia by the wrist once again, and again, throwing him to the ropes. Mafia reverses, and Ced goes in. Ced springs off, and Mafia leaps up onto the frame of Ordonez, forcing him down with a Thesz Press. With Ced’s shoulders on the mat, Kivell counts.

One!

TW---!

“(Axis) Kickout by Ced after the Thesz Press!”

“(King) That doesn’t even make any sense. People don’t normally bite others.”

“(Edwin) The people I normally deal with do. That is to say, they’re crazy. Can you imagine someone who’s so crazy that they do unexplainable stuff all the time?”

“(Axis) I couldn’t even think of such a person…”

“(King) You’re being stupid, like you usually are. I’m tired of dealing with you, as it’s time to watch Mafia breakdown Ced Ordonez.”

Both Mafia and Ced come to a stand, and as they lock eyes once again, Mafia gets the first shot in with a right hand to the face. With a knee lift to the face, Mafia knocks Ced through the ropes and out onto the floor. Ced on the outside, and coming up to his feet, Mafia jumps down from the apron to pursue, getting Ced Ordonez with a forearm to the back. Ced stumbles away, but Mafia catches up, and he sets up Ced, striking him with an open-handed chop to the chest. Ced stumbles away once again, as Mafia catches up once again. Mafia, sensing urgency with Matthew Kivell’s count up to 5, throws Ced back in, himself following in a moment later. Ced begins pushing himself up to his feet, and Mafia helps him the rest of the way. With a whip to the ropes, Mafia closes in, going for a Yakuza Kick. Ced ducks, and he Rolls Up Mafia. Shoulders are down, and Kivell dives.

One!

TW---!

“(King) Kickout!”

Mafia comes to his feet, and he and Ced Ordonez begin brawling, with the two exchanging shots, one after another. Mafia goes for a kick to the mid-section, the foot caught caught by Ordonez, and Ced spins down into the Dragon Screw Legwhip, torquing the same right knee of Mafia. Mafia comes to a visible limp once again, as Ced goes for a Dropkick to the Leg. Mafia jumps over the attack on his one leg though, and he hooks Ced Ordonez as he comes back up, throwing him over onto his head with a T-Bone Suplex. Ced jumps up right up off the mat, holding his head though, as Mafia corners him in the turnbuckle. Mafia, still shaking off the effects of the attack, holds onto the ropes for balance as he jumps and gives Ced a kick to the abdomen, showing that his leg isn’t finished yet. Ced catches him by surprise though, as he out of nowhere whips Mafia to the opposite corner. With a dead run, he closes in fast on Mafia, but with a quick sidestep, Mafia throws Ced right into the corner post! The clang rings in the arena, as Mafia pulls Ced out of the corner and he falls to the mat grasping at his shoulder. .

“(Axis) Mafia’s knee a bit worse off. But Ced’s shoulder isn’t much better, as Mafia threw him right into the turnbuckle with that reversal off the Spear.”

Ced rolls on the mat with a grimce on his face as he shakes his arm, ridding himself of ill effects, or at least trying to. Mafia presses on, as he lifts up Ced for another attack. But Ced punches out of it, and he immediately springs off the mat to deliver a Dropkick to Mafia’s right leg. Mafia collapses to the mat, as Ced covers and Kivell counts.

One!

TWO!

“(Axis) Yet another kickout!”

Mafia rolls onto his knees, as he sits in the corner, begging for mercy. Ced hesitates, and as he does, Mafia grabs the waist band to Ced’s tights and pulls him face first to the mat. Mafia, with a swagger, slaps the back of Ced’s head before turning to the near side ropes and jumping, springing off and going for paydirt with a Quebrada Moonsault….

And finding nothing, as Ced rolls out of the way! Ced, disgusted at Mafia’s cockyness, begins going for repeated stif kicks to the body and head of Mafia, and lands one or two, before Matthew Kivell drags him away. Kivell warns Ced that none of that will be happening in his ring, as Ced begrudgingly accepts.

“(Axis) Mafia going for it all on that Quebrada and getting jack, as Ced nearly snaps with the Sound of Fury. That could’ve earned him a disqualification easily, were Kivell not one of the nicer push overs around.”

“(Edwin) Me thinks I should fire Kivell.”

“(Axis) Why?”

“(Edwin) For being a wuss. And not a real man, like me.”

“(King) You ride in golf carts, drink daiquiri’s and worship pandas. Real men work on muscle cars, drink beer and sexually harass women.”

“(Edwin) Well, I helped fix The Love Rollercoaster. That counts for something. AND I play SNK fighting games.”

“(Axis) Of course, we do not share the views of Suicide King, for all our PC viewers out there.”

“(King) Wusses. The both of you...except for the SNK games thing. That immediately makes you cool.”

Mafia rolls to the ouside to momentarily escape the rage of Ced, to boos from the crowd, lambasting him for being so cowardly. Mafia stands just by the ring, but as he rests, he feels the hands of Ced reach over the ropes attempting to pull him back in. Just like that, Mafia grabs the head of Ced and pulls him down across the top rope. Ced falls to the mat and grabs at his throat, as Mafia slides in and leans over, attempting to lock in a Dragon Sleeper. A well placed kick to the forehead by Ced puts a stop to that, as Mafia breaks. Ced pushes up off the mat, as Mafia stalks from behind. As Ced comes to a stand, Mafia hooks the arms from behind and attempts to twist and lift Ced for The Vertebreaker, but Ced breaks out, and locks in the Full Nelson, throwing Mafia over with a Dragon Suplex. Mafia lands on his neck and lays out of it on the canvas, as Ced Ordonez ascends to the top rope, flipping back with a Moonsault….

And he gets impaled on Mafia’s knees!

“(Axis) Ced himself going for the big win, and it was costly for him as well. He could have very well pinned Mafia after the Dragon Suplex.”

Mafia comes to a slow stand, as does Ced Ordonez. Ced stands behind Mafia, waiting for him to turn, and as he does, he tosses the left arm aside as he hooks Mafia around the chest, his hand meeting the opposite shoulder. Ced nearly gets his Final Surge, the STO, before Mafia elbows out. With Mafia secure in his chance, he hooks the head of Ced from behind, into the Inverted Face Lock. With a twist, Mafia intends on driving him down for The Mob Hit. Ced stands his ground, as Mafia is forced to let go. With Ced behind Mafia, he waistlocks, lifting up and dropping him into a Backdrop Pin. With the shoulders of Mafia down, Kivell counts.

One!

TWO!

THREE!

**DING DING DING

“(Axis) Ced gets the W! He overcomes Mafia again!”

“(King) How wrong you are, Axis. Simply watch the replay. I caught it, did you, carnie?”

“(Edwin) Sure did.”

“(Funyon) Your Winner, by Pinfall…MMAAAFIAA!”

[…..lifting up and dropping him into a Backdrop Pin. With the shoulders of Mafia down, Kivell counts.

One!

TWO!

THREE!

**DING DING DING]

“(Axis) Ah, damn it. Mafia gets his right shoulder up just in time! But since the nature of the Backdrop Suplex with the pin is that of which, BOTH men’s shoulders are down…”

“(Edwin) You saw it for yourself.”

“Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck” by Prong continues to echo in the arena, as the fans boo the man who just defeated their fan favorite, Ced Ordonez. After Kivell raises the hand of Mafia and Mafia rolls out of the ring, screaming to Ordonez that he outsmarted him with a sick smile on his face, Ordonez has a semi-argument with Kivell about what exactly happened. Mafia contines up the ramp, still staring at Ced.

“(Axis) Mafia, ever the wily one, over came the worker that is Ced Ordonez with a somewhat controversial win. Next, is a battle between rookies, as Scott Reid faces off against “The Franchise” Mak Francis.”

May 9, 2002

Scott Reid, God’s gift to professional wrestling, stands amongst SJL interviewer, Ben Hardy. Ben holds his mic to his lips as Scott runs a hand down his chin, tracing the edge with his fingers until coming to a neatly groomed tuft of chin hair. He paws it as Ben starts in.

Ben: I’m standing here with the most recent addition to the SJL roster, Scott Reid. Scott is about to go head-on with another Smarks newcomer in “The Franchise” Mak Francis.

Scott suddenly looks to the camera and pulls Ben’s mic to him before going on to gesture with his hands.

Scott: That is exactly what I want to talk about, Ben. I’m out here to talk about “THE FRANCHISE” Mak Francis. Now we’ve never met face to face but I’ve all ready got a problem with him. You see, Ben, it’s this ‘Franchise’ business. This guy has just come out here to MY ring, hot off some nice amateur-wrestling run, and he’s already calling himself The Franchise! Now that doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve paid my dues in this business and I’ve got a lot of respect for this business but seeing some piece of shit bastard come out here and call himself The Franchise, THE one man of wrestling who is the top, the epitome of this wrestling business... BUT HE HASN’T EVEN BAGGED HIS FIRST BIG WIN YET!! No, you’re not the Mecca of wrestling, you’re not even the WAFFLE HOUSE OF WRESTLING! This isn’t the amateurs, BOY, this is MY ring and I’m gonna put you in your place. When I’m finished, you won’t be called “The Franchise” any more, oh no, they’ll be calling you Mak “The Sissy” Francis after watching you piss your faggy tights. You see, Mak, I’m going to beat you like a dog in that ring and when I’m done, maybe, JUST MAYBE you’ll learn to have some respect for this business once you take the Pittsburgh Plunge.

Ben: Strong words from Mr. Reid.

Scott: You’re damn right. The Franchise? Pfft... If anyone, I AM THE FRANCHISE!

A sick, semi-hypocritical smirk grows across Scott’s face as he gestures to choke the life out of Mak. The picture slowly fades out to the commentary table.

Axis: Well, you’ve heard it here first.

King: Mak “The Sissy” Francis does have a nice ring... if you’re not Mak.

Axis: Should be a classic bout so stay tuned.

Commercial Break.

May 9, 2002

The SJL Metal theme blares over the loud speakers, bringing the fans back onto their feet in the excitement of a truly great show underway. After a long pan of the ecstatic arena, the cameras head for the commentary table.

Edwin: We’re back from the break, ladies and gentlemen, and are about to keep things on a high with the following contest!

Axis: That’s right, Edwin. Let me show you a clip from before the break.

Edwin: Roll ‘em, clip man!

The cameras zoom to the Smarks Tron with the SJL Metal logo spinning on a black background. The logo fizzles away into a shot of Ben Hardy standing alongside Scott Reid. A few key phrases echo throughout the arena...

{“Scott is about to go head-on with another Smarks newcomer in Mak Francis.”

“That is exactly what I want to talk about, Ben. I’m out here to talk about “THE FRANCHISE” Mak Francis. ... This guy has just come out here to MY ring, hot off some nice amateur-wrestling run, and he’s already calling himself The Franchise! ... Seeing some piece of shit bastard come out here and call himself The Franchise ... the epitome of this wrestling business ... HE HASN’T EVEN BAGGED HIS FIRST BIG WIN YET!! No, you’re not the Mecca of wrestling, you’re not even the WAFFLE HOUSE OF WRESTLING!! This isn’t the amateurs, BOY, this is MY ring and I’m gonna put you in your place. When I’m finished, you won’t be called “The Franchise” any more, oh no, they’ll be calling you Mak “The Sissy” Francis ... You see, Mak, I’m going to beat you like a dog in that ring and when I’m done, maybe, JUST MAYBE you’ll learn to have some respect for this business once you take the Pittsburgh Plunge! ... The Franchise? Pfft... If anyone, I AM THE FRANCHISE!”}

Axis: Well, Scott Reid has had some choice words for Mak Francis.

King: This is heating up already!

Edwin: Ah, a classic bout of dominance, respect and some good ol’ arse kicking!

“ARRRRRE YOUUUUU RRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAADDDDDYYYYYY?!?!!!?!?!?!”

Edwin: Why yes, yes I am.

Axis: Shush.

Blue and White lights flash as “Down with the Sickness” rips through the PA. The words ‘Are you Ready’ fly across the Smarks Tron screen and a digitized voice repeats them.

“...Cause the Franchise is here.”

Mak Francis comes out onto the stage, flanked by Tyler Kinkel who sings the praises of wrestling’s prodigal son.

Funyon: The following contest is set for one-fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by coach Tyler Kinkel, hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 225 pounds, ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis!

He slowly strolls down to ringside with Kinkel buzzing in his ear as he makes it to the ring. Mak climbs in over the second rope with his coach following him in the ring. There Mak waits for his opponent as Kinkel spouts tips and pointers.

Edwin: Tyler Kinkel sure is a verbal diarrheic.

“The Pittsburgh Plunge” starts to emit from the loudspeakers and moments later, Scott Reid comes strutting out from behind the curtains with a focused look about his demeanor.

Funyon: His opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 237 pounds, Scott Reid!

Scott heads down the ramp, his eyes locked on with that of Mak.

Axis: No big grin or specialties tonight.

King: Scott is out there to bust some heads and put a rookie in his place.

Scott stops at the edge of the ring in a cold glare. He pauses for a second and then climbs up onto the apron, already shouting at Mak as he enters the squared circle. Kinkel slaps Mak on the shoulder a few times before making his exit.

Axis: This looks like an even match-up as far as side is concerned.

King: You of all people should know size doesn’t make you win. Ha!

The two men in the ring meet in the center. Scott eyes Mak’s ‘Franchise’ t-shirt and rips it from Mak’s chest before tossing it at Kinkel. Mak keeps his cool until Scott slaps him across the face.

Axis: Whoa!

The ref rushes in and breaks them apart before anything can get started. He calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Edwin: ...And we’re underway!

They start to circle up, sizing their opposition as they go. They suddenly stop and get ready to lock horns...

Axis: Collar-and-elbow tie!

Scott quickly slaps Mak in a side headlock and grinds it in a few times. Scott spins around, rolling the headlock to the other side, but Mak charges him into the ropes and bounces him off. Scott hits the ropes and comes back fast but Mak drops down... Scott hops over him and continues to the ropes ahead as Mak pops back up into his feet. Mak catches him for a Hiptoss but Scott blocks and floors him with a Clothesline.

Axis: Scott, taking control of the match-up early.

King: ...and he has got to keep it that way if he wants to break this n00b’s will.

Scott puts the boots to Mak, keeping him grounded until he finally peels the self-proclaimed ‘Franchise’ from the canvas. Scott shoves him against the ropes and staggers him with a hard right before sending him across the ring with an Irish Whip. Off the ropes, Mak rebounds right into a hard Rear Elbow, sending him back onto the canvas. Scott curls his bicep and drops the elbow across Mak’s sternum.

Axis: A little bit of showboating... Scott has the cover.

One!

T-No!

Axis: Kickout with a hint of the two. Mak Francis is far from finished yet.

Scott gets back onto his feet in good pace and boots Mak before helping him up and leading him into the corner. Smash!

Edwin: Mak is getting a tour of the ring courtesy of Mr. Reid!

He bounces Mak’s face off the top turnbuckle pad and then drills him with a boot to the gut. Mak doubles over in pain. Scott grabs his face, mushing Mak’s cheeks together as he yells at him. Mak forces out some spit, just missing his opponent. Scott shoves him back into the corner and delivers another boot and a whip.

King: This is getting personal!

Edwin: It was personal when it started. I think Mak is just catching on.

Mak hits the corner and Scott follows... but catches a boot in his big mouth! Scott staggers back holding his jaw as he braces himself against the ropes behind him. Mak charges in, sensing the opening... but Scott was playing possum and sidesteps, sending Mak hurling over the top rope and to the outside. Kinkel rushes to him.

Axis: Some great ring presents and manipulation. Scott’s years in the ring, ‘paying his dues’ as he so calls it, has paid off.

King: It comes with being a veteran.

Kinkel can be heard screaming advise and barking orders in Mak’s face.

Kinkel: You’ve got to get in there and get this thing under control!

He smacks him on the shoulder.

Kinkel: YOU ARE THE FRANCHISE!

He smacks him again.

Kinkel: YOU ARE THE FRANCHISE!!

Kinkel slips his man a small foreign object and looks around just as Scott slides out of the ring to pursue the chase. He shoves the rambling Kinkel out of the way and makes a beeline straight for Francis. Scott grabs him from behind and leads him to the guardrail with a smash!

Edwin: Here comes the tour of the ringside area...

Scott boots ‘The Franchise’ and steps a foot on his throat, choking him as he coughs. Finally, Scott lets him go after sensing the count. He rolls back into the ring and back out, resetting it so he can do some more damage.

Axis: Smart move by Scott, keeping the count in mind so as to not be counted out.

Scott goes back to Mak, already trying to get back up. He takes a fistful of hair and helps him to his feet... Low Blow! Mak follows it up by socking Scott in the face and sending him stumbling backwards into the ring apron. Mak makes it to his feet and rolls Scott back into the ring, dropping a small idem on the floor outside.

Axis: Hey! Did you see that? Was that a roll of quarters?

Kinkel scoops up the item before the cameras can zoom in. In the ring, Mak makes the cover.

Axis: After that shot, this could be it right here...

One!

Two!

Edwin: Kickout at two!

Scott shakes the cobwebs loose as Mak gets to his feet, now in control. He muscles Scott up and into an inverted facelock... he snaps him over with a suplex.

Axis: Mak floats over into a cover...

One!

Two!

Edwin: Another two-count. He should’ve hooked the leg on that one.

King: That might seem obvious to ring veterans like us, Edwin, but you must take into consideration that Mak is some amateur trying to hook it up on the big boy’s mat.

Axis: Obviously, you must hold some personal issue here.

Scott sits up, favoring his back slightly, but Mak slaps on a tight Sleeper after hearing one of Kinkel’s screams of advice. Scott pulls at Mak’s arm but his fighting soon slows. The ref comes in close to check on Scott... he holds his arm up... it falls... but comes back up!

Edwin: It’s alive! AHHH HAHAHA!

Scott starts fighting up to his feet where he scores with an elbow into Mak’s gut. He nails another... and another battling free form Mak’s grasp... but Mak grabs a fistful of Scott’s blonde hair and pulls back, sending him to the canvas with a crash.

Axis: Mak still in control.

He hauls Scott back to his feet and backs him against the ropes... whip! Scott hits the ropes and bounds back, walking right into a textbook Dropkick! Mak lands it perfectly and makes another cover...

One!

Two!

Edwin: ...And no! Scott gets the shoulder off the canvas.

Mak stands, a little frustrated as he looks to Kinkel for advise. Scott takes this time to roll out of the ring to catch his bearings. Kinkel points Mak to Scott on the other side of the ring and Mak looks to pursue. He reaches through the ropes and pulls Scott up onto the apron and into an inverted facelock over the ropes...

Axis: He’s going for the suplex... but Scott fights him off with some jabs to the ribs!

Scott clutches Mak’s head over his shoulder as he turns his back to the ring and jumps off the apron, snapping Mak’s head of the top rope.

Axis: Scott just hit a modified version of the Pittsburgh Plunge!

Scott slides into the ring and grabs Mak by the leg, dragging him to the outside. He synchs him up in an inverted facelock and backs towards the guardrail as fans scatter and security makes a little bubble...

Edwin: Whoa!

Axis: Scott just suplex Mak over the guardrail and into the first row!

Scott follows, climbing over the rail where he finds Mak, holding his back after landing on some unfolded chairs. Scott pulls him to a sitting position and hammers him with a few punches grinding off Mak’s scalp. He pulls the shaky ‘Franchise’ onto his feet and topples him with a cracking right hand.

Edwin: They’ve taken this right to the fans on the outside!

Fans fight through security to pat both men on the back as Scott smacks Mak around through rows and rows until making it back at the guardrail near the ring. Scott grabs Mak by the head and goes for the slam... Mak blocks it and fires back with an elbow. It connects and Scott is staggered... Mak slams him face first into the steel!

Axis: Counter by Francis. You’ve got to give him credit, he has been doing great against the odds.

Mak grabs Scott by his tights and back of the head before tossing him over the rail towards the ring. Mak follows as Scott climbs into the ring. Mak slides in and Scott tries to seize an advantage with a few stomps, keeping Mak down, but Mak makes it to his feet. Scott scores a few quick jabs, backing Mak to the ropes... Whip! Mak hits the ropes and comes back fast. Scott swings a sloppy Clothesline... ducked! Mak takes a rear waistlock...

Axis: German Suplex!

Mak keeps the waistlock as he rolls through...

Axis: Another German Suplex!

Mak drops out of the bridge and makes the cover as Kinkel screams hook the leg.

Edwin: This could be all right here!

ONE!

TWO!

T-NO!

Axis: Near-fall!

“Stay on him! Stay on him! C’mon, baby! You’ve got this under control! YOU’RE THE FRANCHISE!! YOU’RE THE FRANCHISE!!!”

Kinkel’s rambling words of encouragement are picked up as slams his hands on the canvas.

“Don’t worry. That was a slow count!”

Mak hauls Scott back onto his feet and against the ropes... a whip of his own sends Scott hurling across the ring but Scott holds onto the arm and reverses!

Axis: Reversal by Scott. He must be looking for a second try.

Scott catches Mak on the rebound with a beautiful Side Belly-to-Belly Suplex outta nowhere! He stays on top for the cover...

ONE!

TWO!

NO!!

Edwin: ...And Mak makes the kickout before the count of three.

Scott shoots up onto his feet and stomps Mak on the face, adding no real weight but still looking painful. Mak sits up, holding his nose as Scott hauls him to his feet and into a waistlock, Scott’s head ducked under Mak’s arm...

Axis: Belly-to-Back Suplex! Scott holds a bridge...

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!!

Scott gets back up, bringing Mak with him... but Mak jams a thumb into Scott’s eye, sending him stumbling backwards and into the corner. Mak follows in and sends him across the ring with a whip! Slam! Scott bounces off the stiff turnbuckle pads, favoring his back in pain, but Mak grabs him by the arm again... another whip and Scott hits the other turnbuckle. He staggers out into the center of the ring.

Axis: Mak Francis is really taking it to him! I think we all might have underestimated him.

Scott swings a fatigued punch... ducked! Mak hooks it and grabs Scott’s other arm before dropping to his knees and pulling Scott’s shoulders to the canvas with a Backslide. The ref makes the count...

One!

Mak puts his feet on the ropes behind him for added leverage...

Two!

Edwin: No! Mak’s feet are on the ropes!

Thr—The ref spots Mak’s legs and stops the count!

Axis: Good call by the official!

Mak gets up and into the official’s face as Kinkel hops up onto the apron to voice his opinion too. The ref still holds his decision and puts his foot to the rope to show but Mak isn’t taking it. Slowly, Scott returns to his feet behind Mak. He shakes the cobwebs loose and readies himself...

King: Don’t turn around!

Kinkel spots Scott and points, causing Mak to turn around right into a Diamond Cutter!

Edwin: PITTSBURGH PLUNGE!! Mak just fell victim to the Pittsburgh Plunge!

The ref turns around to make the count but Kinkel grabs him by his zebra shirt and holds him.

Edwin: Scott Reid has this one won if the ref could make a count!

King: Well, at least Kinkel isn’t kissing him. I think he thought about it though...

After what could be a ten-count, Scott looks up to find Kinkel with the ref. He pops up from the canvas and swipes at Kinkel just as he jumps back from the apron and releases the official. Scott shares a few words with the mouthy coach and then turns around, getting slapped in an inverted facelock from the weary amateur wrestler. Mak cradles the leg as he synchs Scott up...

Axis: He’s going for the Franchise Tag! This could be it right here!

Edwin: I don’t know if he has enough left in him!

Mak hoists Scott up off of the canvas for a second but Scott kicks his leg from the Franchise’s grasp and lands back onto his feet. He turns, scooping Mak up with a fireman’s carry... BAM!

Axis: MODIFIED PITTSBURGH PLUNGE!! Scott hit another Pittsburgh Plunge on the Franchise!

Kinkel, taken by total surprise, as was Mak obviously, watches the official drop down for the count and Scott hook the leg...

ONE!

Kinkel makes the dive into the ring...

TWO!!

He comes up short!

THREE!!!

The official springs back onto his feet and calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Kinkel shakes his head as he drags Mak’s limp corpse out of the ring whilst the ref raises Scott’s hand in victory, “The Pittsburgh Plunge” already conquering the loudspeakers.

Funyon: Your winner by pinfall, Scot Reid!

Axis: We’re going to get to see another shot of that...

A small picture pops up in the corner of the screen and grows, taking up most of the screen...

{Mak Francis goes for the Franchise Tag, a ruthless Fisherman Buster, but is denied when Scott Reid counters and hits the Pittsburgh Plunge, a Diamond Cutter, out of a fireman’s carry.}

Edwin: ...And so the Smarks newcomer bags his first SJL win. This could be the start of a triumphant run for Mr. Reid.

King: He could be the next Suicide King!

Edwin: I said triumphant run.

King: Where’s your World Title, Mr. MacPhisto? Yeah... thought so.

Edwin grumbles as he sips his strawberry daiquiri.

Axis: Well stay tuned because SJL Metal is only getting started!

May 9, 2002

Ahh…yes. It’s that time again. We return to SJL Metal to find the Suicide King leaning on the announce table, telling Axis how he day went.

“…So then I say to the guy, ‘open the cash register and takes off you pants!” The Suicide King says, letting out a laugh, “So he pulls down his pants, and…”

“Uh…King, I think we’re back live,” The voice of Edwin MacPhisto can be heard, as The Suicide King turns around to the league Commissioner, a look of shock on his face.

“…” The Suicide King just turns to the camera and gives a guilty smile, trying to cover his ass but he knows it’s too late.

“…Anyway,” Edwin says, trying to break the shocked silence, “Welcome back to SJL Metal! If you’ve just tuned in, I’m Edwin MacPhisto, your loyal Commissioner, along side Axis, our big Australian play-by-play man, and the ever-so-guilty Suicide King!”

“Shut your hole, MacPhisto,” The Suicide King chirps in, “Let’s just get to announcing this match in this god forsaken city…where the HELL are we, anyways?”

“We’re in…” Axis says, “Uh…Springfield.”

“State?” Edwin asks.

Axis moves the map around, trying to find what state it is, but simply turns to Edwin and SK and shrugs, “Somewhere outside of parts unknown, I guess.”

“Eh…it happens,” Edwin says, as he looks down at the piece of paper in front of him, “Well, lookie here. The next match is Cutthroat going against Insane Luchador and Poisyn.”

“Heh…who’s the idiot who made this match?” SK says, as Edwin raises his hand in the air.

“Edwin, my friend, you are a genius. This is exactly the match that will show the power of the Insane Luchador and Poisyn alliance! I mean…think of it. They’re going against Cutthroat. CUTTHROAT!”

“…What about Cutthroat?” Edwin says, shrugging.

“Cutthroat has lost almost every match he’s had here in the junior league! Probably everyone but the Queen Of England has beaten Cutthroat!” SK says, a chuckle in his voice. As his sentence comes to a close, the arena fades to black, as the opening guitar lines of “Crawling In The Dark” by Hoobastank flickers to life. As it goes deeper into the song, purple pyro shoots up from the stage, as Poisyn and Insane Luchador emerge from the smoke, Brianna Flynn following closely behind them. Poisyn and Luchador stop on stage, looking out at the crowd.

“The following contest is a HHHHAAAANNDDDYYYCCCAPPPP match!” Funyon screams, as the fans ignore his announcement and let down a chorus of boos on Poisyn and Insane Lucahdor, “Introducing first, being accompanied by Brianna Flynn, at a combined weight of 224 pounds…the team of INNNSSSAAANEEEE LUCHADOR and POOOOOIIIISSSYYYNNN!!!”

Poisyn and Luchador both slide under the bottom rope and enter the ring, lookout out at the fans swarming in the arena. Their usual frowns have been replaced by unusual smiles, as they begin to strut around the ring.

“Well, the team forged together by respect and anger, Poisyn and Insane Lucahdor, are about to go one on one with the infamous Cutthroat here. This one is going to be a…well…slobberknocker…? No. That would make Cutthroat sound good…” Edwin says.

As “Crawling In the Dark” comes to a close, Rob Zombie’s “Never Gunna Stop” plays through the arena, and the fans rise to their seats and go ape-shit. Cutthroat runs out from under the entranceway, as hoards of “CUTTHROAT! CUTTHROAT!” chants are being echoed through the arena. His wife, Clair, follows behind him as he walks down to the ring…

“And now, the opponent, being accompanied by his wife, Clair…weighing in at 214 pounds…CCUUUUUTTTHHHRRROOOOOOAAATTT!!!” Funyon says, quickly scampering out of the ring. Clair walks around the ring as Cutthroat slides under the bottom rope, as he meets eyes with Poisyn and Insane Lucahdor. He ignores their returned stares, as he simply jumps up on the second rope and throws his arms up into the air, which is his mistake, for Insane Luacahdor and Poisyn just rush him and start hammering him with punches. The referee quickly calls for the bell, trying to get Insane Lucahdor or Poisyn on the ring apron, for this is under tag team rules.

::Ding! Ding! Diiiiiiiiing!::

Cutthroat, trying to catch his breath, turns his body around so he can see Insane Lucahdor and Poisyn, but he turns around to see Poiysn on all fours. Cutthroat becomes confused, but he soon realizes their plan as he looks across the ring to see Insane Lucahdor run from the other side of the ring, up on Poisyn’s back and deliver a flying drop-kick right to Cutthroat’s jaw! Cutthroat takes a giant tumble to outside of the ring, as the referee runs up to the duo, trying to get one on the ring apron. The fans, even in spite of the impending loss of their beloved Cutthroat, still cheer him on.

“CUTTRHOAT! CUTTHROAT! CUTTHROAT!”

“Heh! Cheer all you want, he’ll only win by a miracle!” SK says.

“My…LORD!” Edwin says, “Insane Luchador just drop-kicked Cutthroat right out of the ring! I don’t think he’s moving!”

The referee forces Insane Luchador to the ring apron, as Poisyn exits the ring to confront Cutthroat. Cutthroat tries catch Poisyn with a move which he calls the ‘Slasher!’ but Poisyn is one step ahead of Cutthroat as he makes a leap over the charging Cutthroat, and Cutthroat turns around to get a judo kick right to the stomach of Cutthroat! Cutthroat doubles over, trying to catch his breath, but Poisyn locks on a DDT, and leaps into the air, slamming Cutthroat’s head down on the mat in a Buzzkiller DDT!

“Oh, come on now!” Edwin screams, “That’s not fair play! Cutthroat just got knocked over the top rope and now he just got DDTed on the cold floor right here!”

“I agree, Edwin, Poisyn is a heartless human being!” Axis says.

“Fair…play?” SK ponders, “What is this…fair…play? Is it…a play at a fair?”

“Shut your hole, King,” Edwin snaps, “Or you’ll be rolled into Crimson in a wheel chair!”

Poisyn picks up the nearly knocked out Cutthroat, and throws him under the bottom rope and quickly slides under the bottom rope and covers the dazed Cutthroat.

ONE!

TWO!!

THR—Oh, no, Cutthroat kicks out! The crowd erupts at the kick-out of the favorite in this match.

“Cutthroat kicked out! The extremist doesn’t stay down, he’s a never-say-quit guy!”

Axis says.

“He’s also a never-say-win guy, too,” SK snickers.

Poisyn picks Cutthroat up once again, but a swift knee to the gut of Poisyn by Cutthroat stops the momentum of Poisyn, as Cutthroat backs away from Poisyn, and is about to let loose a high-speed uppercut called the ‘Razor Punch’, but Poisyn quickly ducks under the punch. Cutthroat stumbles forward, almost falling flat on his face! He turns around to see Poisyn deliver a superkick to the face of Cutthroat, as he is knocked down on his back. Poisyn then jumps over to the corner as he tags in his partner, Insane Lucahdor.

“And a tag as been made!” The Suicide King says, “See Edwin? Insane Lucahdor and Poisyn aren’t only great friends and have great respect for each other, but they’re excellent tag team competors! So far, Poisyn and Luchador have made one tag, while Cutthroat hasn’t made one!”

“Cutthroat doesn’t have a partner, moron,” Edwin remarks, which Suicide King ponders for a minute, and then speaks up.

“Which is why Poisyn and Insane Lucahdor make such a great team!” SK says.

“Ugh…” Axis groans, “How did we get stuck with him?”

“He got down on his knees and begged Stubby for this position,” Edwin says, as a sly smile stretches across his face, “And when Stubby said yes, he did something else for him that involves being on your knees!”

“Shut the fuck up, MacPhisto!” SK says, “I most certainly did NOT do what you said!”

“Doth is probably right,” Edwin says, “Doth probably did A LOT more!”

SK groans, as the match continues. Insane Lucahdor hits Cutthroat with a barrage of punches and then a swift kick to knee, knocking Cutthroat into the corner. Insane Luchador then wraps his arm around the head of Cutthroat, as he makes a leap in mid-air and slams Cutthroat’s head down in a bulldog! Rickman makes the cover as the referee counts…

ONE!

TWO!!

THR—Ah, so close but Cutthroat kicks out yet again!

Luchador, with a frustrated look on his face, picks Cutthroat up yet again, but an unexpected swift uppercut to the jaw knocks him dead on the mat, as the fans erupt! Cutthroat hits the razor punch, and the crowd goes bananas! Cutthroat looks around the ring and jumps up on the turnbuckle, looking out at the crowd!

“I think we’re going to see a certain move called the Five Star Frogsplash!” Axis says.

“Hey…doesn’t Rob Van Dam use that move as his finisher?” SK questions, as Edwin and Axis turn to SK.

“What?” They say at the same time.

“Whose that?” Edwin questions.

“Ah…must be some crazy guy I saw on the street…” SK says.

Cutthroat rises to his feet, adrenaline pumping through his veins…but it’s all quickly stopped by Poisyn, who rushes toward Cutthroat and shoves him off of the top rope, as he takes a fall right on his family jewels! The crowd boos Poisyn’s anti-sportsmanship, as he just shrugs off jeers.

“Oh, come on!” Edwin says, “That’s not fair! Poisyn isn’t suppose to be involved in the match!”

“Hey, all’s fair in love, war, and war!” SK says, as Axis pauses.

“But…this is neither of those,” Axis says, as SK just looks away.

Meanwhile in the ring, Insane Luchador comes to his senses and looks up to see Cutthroat stuck on the top turnbuckle. His smiles as his fortune, as he runs up to the top rope, extending his legs and wrapping them around the neck of Cutthroat, as he leans over and attempts to take the Connecticut native over…but his fortune stops when Cutthroat regains his strength, and powerbombs Insane Luchador off of his shoulders at on to the hard mat bellow!

“MY…LORD!” Edwin screams, “Insane Luchador just got powerbombed off of the shoulders of Cutthroat, and he hit the mat FULL FORCE!”

Cutthroat, still on the second rope, looks out at the sea of fans, as they all begin to chant his name once again in unison, “CUTTHROAT! CUTTHROAT!”. He smiles at the glamour he has in the Junior League, but his fantasy gets knocked away when a swift foot his the back of his head, sending him slamming to the canvas. Poisyn executed a swift high-kick to the back of the head of Cutthroat, and he falls to the mat, as the fans boo Poisyn once again!

“I don’t believe this!” Axis moans, “That wasn’t fair at all! What has gotten into Matt Myers?”

“Matt Myers? You mean Poisyn!” SK proclaims, “And he’s just making things fair. Cutthroat cheated?”

“Uh…How?” Edwin questions.

“You know how,” SK snaps.

As Insane Luchador comes to, he looks over to see what seem to be a giant’s fist coming down to smash him, but he realizes that it’s actually Poisyn’s hand, waiting for a tag! Cutthroat begins to stir, too, as he gets up on one knee, waiting for his opponent…

“It’s anyone’s ball game here…” Axis says, “If Insane Luchador makes this tag, Cutthroat’s game is over, but if Cutthroat can get up, he just may be ready for what Poisyn has in store…”

Silence fills the arena…like time has frozen…

Until…

SMACK! The tag is made right when Cutthroat rises to his feet, as Poisyn comes rushing at him, and pauses, trying to hit another one of his powerful judo kicks, but Cutthroat is one step ahead of Poisyn, as he ducks under the kick! Poisyn tries to turn around once again to face Cutthroat, but Cutthroat locks on a full nelson, and swing Poisyn over his head on to his back! WHAM! C-Slam! The crowd goes crazy as the referee begins to count…

OOOONEEE!!!

TTTTWWOO!!!

THHREEE!!! YES! YES! …WAIT NO! Insane Lucahdor breaks up the count just in the nick of time, as the referee shoves two fingers into the air, showing that Insane Luchador was just in time!

“MY GOD!” Edwin says, “DEAR MOTHER OF ENGLAND, CUTTHROAT ALMOST GOT THE UPSET, IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT DAMN INSANE LUCHADOR ANDREW RICKMAN!”

“UPSET?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” SK screams, “POISYN COULD HAVE KICKED OUT OF THAT ANYTIME, ANYDAY, ANYWHERE!!!”

Cutthroat rises to his feet once again, looking at the referee, who holds up two fingers and says, “Only a two count, Blaine!”

Cutthroat runs his hand through his hair, trying to keep his cool and figure out what to do next. He sees Insane Luchador rush at him, but he quickly ducks, and lifts Insane Luchador on to his back and over the top rope, as Luchador falls flat on the cold mat on the outside. He sees Poisyn has rises again, but dizzy and not knowing what to do. Cutthroat then bends over a bit, grabbing Poisyn’s legs and crossing them in an ‘X’ fashion, as he steps over Poisyn, and locks in the Razorblade!

“RAZORBLADE! RAZORBLADE!” Axis starts screaming, “THIS ONE IS OVER! POISYN IS GOING TO TAP OUT!”

Poisyn groans in pain of the powerful submission hold, trying to reach the ropes which are only inches away from him, but Cutthroat drags the body of Poisyn away from the ropes. Poisyn makes one last attempt, his back aching in pain, as he crawls over to the turnbuckle, his back aching….

…

But it suddenly stops. Poisyn looks up to see his friend, Insane Luchador, has locked on a full nelson, and has jumped to the middle ropes, and leaped off of the ropes, and slammed Cutthroat’s face into the mat! The fans boo Insane Luchador, as helps Poisyn get up. Poisyn points to his mouth, as Insane Luchador nods his head yes…

“Oh, great, the man’s practically knocked out, what now?” Edwin groans.

Almost as if it was a signal, Brianna Flynn hops up on the apron, leaning over, trying to distract the referee. The referee rushes over to Brianna, trying to get her off the apron, but to no avail. Behind the referee’s back, Poisyn and Insane Luchador double irish-whip Cutthroat across the ring, as he comes back and gets a double black mist sprayed right into his eyes! Cutthroat screams in agony, as he falls to his back and moans in pain. Poisyn and Insane Luchador see that victory is near, as Insane Lucahdor shoves Cutthroat’s head in-between Poisyn’s legs, as Poisyn holds his hands out in a sign that this is the end. Poisyn, with the help of Insane Luchador, shoves Cutthroat on to his shoulders, as Insane Lucahdor grabs the neck of Cutthroat, and they slam him down in a devastating neckbreaker/powerbomb!

“OH MY GOD! WHAT IMPACT! WHAT IMPACT!” Axis screams, as both Poisyn and Insane Luchador cover the almost KO-ed Cutthroat…

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

“Well, what a finish! A neckbreaker and powerbomb combination, and a ILLEGAL…double black mist!” Axis says. The Suicide King rises from his seat, applauding the duo as Mudvayne’s “Dig” blasts through the arena.

“What a duo! What a great team!” SK says, “I see great thing in these…hey…”

Surprisingly, Insane Luchador and Poisyn roll out of the ring, cutting off their celebration early. They point to the chairs at ringside, as the timekeeper quickly gets off of one of the chairs and The Suicide King reaches over and hands the chairs to Poisyn and Insane Luchador.

“King! What are you doing?!” Edwin screams. King just shrugs.

“Ya know…they might have wanted to sit down. In the ring. Next to Cutthroat. And talk about good times. You know.”

“King, they want to smash Cutthroat over the head with chairs,” Axis says.

“Oh…” King says, a shocked look appearing over his face, but it fades almost instantly, “Well…stop them. Or something. Oh dear god. Someone help poor Cutthroat. Like I care, MacPhisto!”

Poisyn and Insane Luchador slider under the bottom rope, chairs in hand. Meanwhile, Cutthroat lies on the mat, trying to recover from the powerbomb/neckbreaker. Clair is next to him. Brianna Flynn climbs into the ring and chases Clair away out of the ring and back up the entrance ramp, as Insane Luchador is the first to strike, smashing the fallen Cutthroat with the chair. SMACK! The sound echoes through the arena! The fans let out a giant “OOOOOHH!” to each smack Insane Luchador delivers.

“Someone stop them! STOP THIS NOW!” Edwin screams.

Insane Luchador finishes his assault, Poisyn begins his assault, as he lets loose a barrage of smashes into Cutthroat’s ribs.

SMACK!

SMMMMACK!

SMACK!

One after another, each one to become louder!

“Oh, god…WHAT ARE THEY DOING?! TRYING TO END HIS CARREAR?!” Axis screams.

SMACK!

The assault continues, as Cutthroat crawls over to the corner, sulking down in the bottom turnbuckle. All of the sudden, a single voice breaks the silence:

….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”

The voice is recognizable, as “The Superior One” Tom Flesher steps out from under the SmarksTron, running toward the ring with a steel chair in one hand, a microphone in the other. The fans erupt in unusual cheers, for their once-hated Tom Flesher seems to be coming down to help Cutthroat!

“Queen of England! Am I hallucinating?!” Edwin screams, “That’s Tom Flesher! He’s coming down to help Cutthroat!”

Tom slides under the bottom rope into ring, microphone in one hand, chair in the other. Poisyn and Insane Luchador turn to meet eye to eye with him, as he speaks once again.

“What the HELL are you guys doing?” Tom says, as Insane Luchador and Poisyn look away, “That man is defenseless! I mean…I don’t like him either, but that’s just plain sick from you two!”

Insane Luchador and Poisyn drop their chairs, as they refuse to meet eyes with the superior one…

“If that man is defenseless…” Tom Flesher says, “…Then you have to hit him HARDER!”

“WHAAAAAAAAT?!” Edwin screams, as Flesher drops the microphone, as he lifts the chair up high above his head, and letting it down in a brutal assault!

“SOMEONE…ANYONE…STOP THIS!” Axis says, “WHAT’S GOING ON?! HAS THIS ALLIANCE JUST GOTTEN LARGER?!”

After about ten hard chair hits, Flesher drops his chair, as The Doors' "Tell All The People" blast through the PA System, a smile stretched on each member of the trio’s face. Tom Flesher throws his arms into the air over the mangled body of Cutthroat, as Poisyn and Insane Luchador do the same.

“OH MY GOD! “THE SUPERIOR ONE” TOM FLESHER HAS JUST JOINED THE ALLIANCE OF INSANE LUCHADOR AND POISYN!” Edwin screams, “WHAT’S GOING TO BECOME OF THIS?! HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE WORLD TITLE MATCH TONIGHT?!”

The camera fades out on Insane Luchador, Poisyn, and Tom Flesher posing for the crowd, as Metal fades to yet another commercial…

May 9, 2002

The camera fades back in from commercial to catch Edwin sitting on the commentator’s table and facing the audience. He is waving and smiling to the cheering crowd.

Edwin: (over his shoulder to Axis through a clenched smile) “These are the weirdest bunch of people we have ever had at a show. They’re yellower than Z, what the hell is in the water here?”

King: “We’re back on the air, Captain Tact.”

(Edwin gets a startled look on his face and spins back down into his seat, hoping that the camera did not hear his comments.)

Axis: “And so we are, as our next match-up is to determine the number one contender for the SJL European title. We go to Funyon for introductions.”

Funyon: (holding mic in the ring) “Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you our first competitor for the next match. Weighing in at 267lbs. from Anaheim, California; Taylor Nicholas Thompson, better known as T…N…TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!”

With that, Thompson begins his slow sojourn to the ring to the chords of AC/DC’s “TNT.” As everyone in the crowd turns to the person on their left and says “Egads, what a noticeable lack of pyro,” hundreds of individual silver and white sparks explode in the air. The burst of explosives wakes up both the crowd and TNT as he now bounces to the ring to the beat of the music.

Axis: “Thompson, the current T.V. champion, is undefeated in singles action since joining the SJL and thereby one of the fastest rising stars we have ever had.”

King: “Rocky Marciano was undefeated in singles competition and where is he now? Serving up helpings as a worm buffet.”

Taylor enters the ring and quickly runs from corner to corner to pose for the cheering crowd as Funyon continues his intros.

Funyon: “His opponent from Reykjavik, Iceland and weighing 296lbs., the Iceman from Iceland; Frrrrrrrrrroooossssssssst!”

“Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” thunders over the sound system as Frost appears at the top of the entrance ramp to a shower of boos. Frost holds up a solitary fist to the fans in defiance as he strolls to the ring with a scowl on his face and taped up ribs.

Axis: “For those of you who missed the instantly infamous Window Pain match on the last Crimson…”

King: (interrupting) “Tough crap.”

Axis: “Frost defeated T-Bone with a tombstone piledriver, rocketing down nearly twenty feet from the top of a ladder to an awaiting pane of glass below on the outside of the ring.”

Edwin: “However, T-Bone got more than his fare share of shots in before that, pounding Frost in the side with a wooden sawhorse. Hence the bandages on his ribs tonight.”

King: (sarcastically) “Great deductive work, Sherlock.”

Frost enters the ring by stepping over the top rope and the bell sounds at the behest of referee Matthew Kivell. Thompson charges with a shoulder block to the exposed ribs and Frost cringes in pain.

Axis: “TNT hones in on that injured midsection like a bloodhound. After the brutal glass match, one has to wonder how fresh Frost is a scant four days later.”

Thompson sneaks in a knee lift before grabbing Frost by his wrist and slinging him into the far ropes. Taylor bounces off of the ropes near him and leaps off with a flying forearm. Frost ducks and TNT goes sailing over his head into the ropes.

King: “It’s really unfair of you to have Frost wrestle again as injured as he obviously is.”

Edwin: “He won that match, T-Bone took a far worse drubbing in losing and you don’t see him on the card tonight.”

King: “That’s because the paramedics are still looking for his spleen.”

TNT pulls himself up by the ropes while Frost sneaks around behind him to lock in a Cobra Clutch. Thompson flails widely for a second until he works his free arm around to drive an elbow into the taped ribs. This causes Frost to break the hold with a cringe and T-Bone slips behind him to grab an abdominal stretch.

Axis: “That is not to say that Frost is one hundred percent himself. He was pummeled with a sawhorse, smashed in the head with a window pane, cut and sliced with various bits of broken glass and risked is his own life just as much as T-Bone’s in the match finish.”

King: “Thompson on the other hand simply scolded his mouth on some hot nacho cheese.”

TNT pulls back hard on the hold causing Frost to bellow in agony. Thompson pounds on the ribs with his free right hand and shifts into working a form of an abdominal claw.

Axis: “TNT is fully focused on plan A: work the ribs. However, as he can almost match height with Frost he doesn’t quite have the Icelander’s more beefier leg hooked fully and that might give Frost the window of opportunity he needs to break.”

On cue, Frost momentarily blocks out the pain by shutting his eyes tight and hip tosses Thompson over and out of the hold. TNT lands on the mat on his rear and Frost drops to apply a rear chinlock and earn himself some sorely needed breathing time.

Edwin: (shocked) “Hey there Miss Cleo, want to tell me who’s going to win the NBA playoffs so I can lay some money down.”

King: (rubbing his temples in mock concentration) “My sources say a team from California in four to seven games.”

Edwin: “There must be something in the water here, you’re both psychic now.”

The fans boo and hiss at Frost as he clamps down harder on the chinlock. TNT taps the big man’s arm to size up his grip and attempts to struggle to his feet.

Axis: “While Frost might be the premier big man in the SJL today, we have to remember that Thompson is no small fry at 6 foot 6 and 267lbs. He might be one of the few people who can standup to Frost in the size department.”

King: “Also remember that it was TNT who ran out with deKindes during the Window Pain match to bash Frost in the head with a sheet of glass.”

Thompson forces his way to his feet and Frost tries to keep TNT down in adjusting the chinlock to a side headlock. Before he can cinch it tight, Thompson puts both of his hands on Frost’s lower back and pushes him off into the far ropes.

Edwin: (fuming with his arms crossed) “And they never did send me any nachos down.”

TNT plants himself with his arm extended for a clothesline. Frost goes to duck, but that is just want Thompson wanted, as he drops to the left side of Frost and scoops him off his feet with a drop toehold. He lets the ankle go and jumps up back to his feet and into the air to bring a knee down into Frost’s back on top of the medical tape. Frost lets out a roar and Thompson quickly rolls him over and covers with a lateral press.

ONE

TWO

Frost throws TNT off.

Axis: “Frost powers out, but the grimace on his face and the hands clutching his ribs shows that breaking the cover took a little more effort than usual.”

Frost lies on the mat breathing hard. Thompson fires two short elevation knee drops sharply into Frost’s midsection and covers again.

ONE

TWO

Axis: “Frost stretches his long legs out to land the ropes for the break.”

Edwin: “Not powering out as before. He is hurting.”

King: “Good God, call the FBI to get you a job, Columbo.”

TNT pops up off of Frost and runs to the far ropes. The Icelander bails to the floor and clutches his ribs as he takes a breather. Thompson points at Frost and yells while Kivell tries to keep him from pursuing Frost to the outside.

Edwin: “Isn’t what you just said a twist of the Sherlock diss you made earlier.”

King: “Well, look at MacCarnacle here, just give him a badge and send him on his way.”

Frost walks around ringside holding his side and breathing very hard. A very fat, very bald and very drunk man in the front row juts a “Frosty the Snowman” sign in the big Icelander’s face. Frost rips it out of his hands and rips it to shreds as the fan bellows and his wife with a super tall beehive hairdo tries to hold him back.

Axis: “While the fans might not like Frost, they certainly like to gall him with the slur of Frosty the Snowman.”

King: “That’s if you want to call that guy a fan, or even a guy. He looks more like a bald, hairless North American ape to me.”

Axis: “A Quijibo, I believe you’re going for.”

Frost spits a thick loogie at the remains of the torn up sign and trots back up the ring stairs to stand on the apron. The fan shouts at Frost and shakes his fist at him, while the wife holds onto his arm for dear life. Frost shouts at the fan one last time and turns his gaze to stare coldly at TNT. Thompson returns the stare and waves Frost to come back in the ring.

Axis: “While Frost holds two wins, one in a battle royale and the other in a triple threat match, with Thompson ally Tod deKindes, this is the first time these two men have ever officially met in the ring.”

Edwin: (under his breath) “Filler, filler, filler, filler, filler…”

Axis: “What?”

Edwin: “Nothing, just, you know, mumbling about pandas.”

Frost holds his right hand up wanting a test of strength. Thompson looks to the crowd who shout their approval for him to go ahead. Thompson puts up his left hand to hook with Frost’s, but the Iceman sneaks in an eye poke with his left and Frost catches the blinded Thompson in a wristlock. He jerks violently on the arm, making it now TNT’s turn to moan in pain.

Edwin: “Ooo, shades of Roddy Piper.”

King: “Who?”

Edwin: “I don’t know, I read about him on the internet.”

Frost works the arm, but suddenly the angry, drunk fan from the front row breaks away from his wife and staggers into the ring, hurling slurred swears at both wrestlers.

King: “Quijibo thinks he’s a wrestler. Hard headed son of a bitch.”

Security storms the ring floor and leap to the apron. Frost releases TNT from the wristlock. The two men exchange a glance and then stare at the drunken fan. Frost scoops him up by the waist and holds him in the air. Thompson takes him by the neck and snaps him down to the canvas.

Axis: “3-D, THESE TWO ENEMIES UNITE TO HIT THE DRUNKEN FAN WITH A 3-D!!!”

Security hauls the fallen man out of the ring and pulls him down the ring aisle. The wife jumps over the guardrail and follows with three children in tow. As she walks by the camera one can hear her say, “Oh dear, this is the third time this month he’s been beaten up by wrestlers and hauled off to jail.”

Thompson stares after the leaving security and shakes his head in disbelief. Frost takes the opportunity to schoolboy TNT from behind for a pin.

ONE

TWO

Axis: “WHAT WOULD IT MEAN IF FROST SCORED THE WIN OFF OF THE FAN INTERFERENCE?!”

Taylor flips out and pops to his feet to catch the still climbing to his feet Frost with a running lariat. Frost lands on his back and Thompson covers, remembering to hook the leg.

ONE

TWO

Frost lifts the shoulder and Kivell taps TNT on the shoulder to break.

King: “Well, he didn’t, so you DON’T get an answer, fishbulb.”

Edwin: “What does that mean?”

King: (puzzled) “I rightfully don’t know.”

Thompson rolls off and to his feet while Frost struggles to sit up. TNT bends down to hook him with up under the armpits and picks Frost up off the mat kicking and screaming. Thompson pulls back to suplex Frost over his head, but the big man shifts his weight down and stomps the canvas with both feet. He flips Taylor over his head and drops to one knee to re-cinch the rear chinlock. Before he can hook it well and plant his body, Thompson reaches up and grabs Frost around the head with his right arm and flips him over his head to land on the canvas. Thompson applies his own rear chinlock, but he easily lets Frost power up out of it and Taylor readjusts to an abdominal stretch, this time being sure to grapevine the leg as best he can.

King: (big yawn) “What’s with all of this counter wrestling. These guys are big enough to loan shark for the mafia, let’s see some brawling.”

Edwin: “It has been the downfall of many a big man not to have wrestling basics under his belt. Of course, this would not concern a puny guy like you who doesn’t know a wristlock from a wristwatch.”

Thompson clamps on the abdominal claw again to accompany the move and Kivell asks Frost if he wants to give up. Frost screams and shakes his head ‘no.’ He tries to hip toss out of the move again, but he cannot muster the leverage.

Axis: “Wristlock from a wristwatch, nice one.”

Edwin: “That internet, I tell you, you can find anything.”

Frost stretches out his free right arm for the ropes until one can see his muscles bulging and straining, but he’s a good three inches short and can gain no extra ground from TNT.

King: “I have you know I won several matches as the SWF champion with a wristlock.”

(Axis and Edwin shoot him unbelieving look.)

King: “Ok, maybe I knocked the guy out with a chair when the ref was turned and pretended the guy passed out to the wristlock, but that’s about the same thing.”

Frost leans as far forward in the hold as he can and then throws his head back with all of his might. Taylor takes the back of Frost’s head to his chin and he’s knocked off balanced, stunned. He falls back to the canvas, dragging Frost with him for a pin.

ONE

TWO

Frost fidgets out of the pin and rolls to his knees.

Axis: “A clever way to break the abdominal stretch, but it almost resulted in a stretch rollover for the win by Thompson.”

King: “Wake me when they’re bashing each other’s brains out.” (King slumps down in his chair, throws his head back and closes his eyes for a quick, power nap.)

Both men reach their feet at roughly the same time and Thompson seeks to keep the advantage by clotheslining Frost over the ropes to the floor, but his momentum sends his out as well and both grapplers crash down to the outside.

(King begins to snore loudly and Edwin plugs his ears.)

Kivell starts his count out on both men as they struggle to their feet and trade punches. Thompson ducks a haymaker right hand and takes Frost by his left wrist to whip him into the near ring post. Frost reverses and shoots TNT chest first into the steel pole. Thompson bounces back, grabbing his chest as the fans ‘ooo’ in sympathy. Frost rolls back into the ring to break the ref’s count at eight.

Edwin: (elbowing King in the side) “Oh, they’re fighting. (King comes to with a snort and rubs his eyes.) Oh, you missed it.”

Still dazed from the shot to the chest, TNT leans face first on the side of the ring trying to gain his breath. Frost reaches over the ropes to nab him by his dreadlocks and pull him back up to the ring apron. Frost grabs a handful of tights and tucks Thompson’s head underneath his arm. With a grunt, he lifts Taylor up and over the ropes. He bounces him once on the top rope and snaps him over his head in a slingshot suplex.

King: “Were there chairs involved?’

Edwin: “Chairs, glass, the ring stairs, six flaming tables, six flaming Richard Simmons, dogs, bees, dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you, the works.”

Frost rises up and goes to spin around to make a cover, but he grimaces and puts a hand on his bruised ribs. He pushes through it and finally falls on top of TNT, hooking the leg.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Thompson kicks out.

Axis: “He could have had him there, if it wasn’t for the ribs holding him up.”

King: “Far be it for me to congratulate Thompson, but picking out a guy’s weak spot and then hammering it is tops in my book.”

Frost wraps his fingers around Taylor’s dreadlocks again and yanks him to his feet. He then puts one hand on TNT’s shoulder and the other between his legs and picks him up off the canvas. He twirls him in mid air like a top and then tosses him down to complete a tilt-a-whirl slam. Frost drops to his knees and raises a fist to taunt the audience, to cover his other hand still holding his side. The fans jeer appropriately and Frost hooks the leg on the pin attempt.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Axis: “TNT just barely puts his foot on the ropes. The damage he did earlier to Frost is helping him to hang on now.”

Edwin: (singing) “Set me free why don’t you, babe. Set me free why don’t you, babe. You don’t really love me, you just keep me hanging on!”

(King plugs his ears now.)

Frost rises to his knees and snarls at Kivell. Matthrew stands his ground and tells Frost to keep going. Frost pulls TNT up with him by his shoulders and snakes his arm up underneath Thompson’s shoulder. The crowd jeers and Frost laughs at them with a gleam in his eye.

Axis: “This is it he’s going for the Ice Shelf. This should do turn the victory out.”

Edwin: (soulfully singing) “We’re going to turn this mother out…We want the funk, gotta have the funk.”

Frost lifts TNT up to throw him back, but the struggling wrestler brushes a weak knee into Frost’s side as he leaves the canvas. That is enough to send a wave of pain through the Icelander and he drops Taylor back to the canvas. Thompson puts his own arm up under Frost and deftly throws him up and back to the canvas as the crowd explodes in delight.

Axis: “HE REVERESED THE ICE SHELF! HE GAVE FROST A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICIENE!”

Edwin: (still singing) “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go do down, medicine go down, medicine…”

King: (clamping a hand over Edwin’s mouth) “And there’s the cover.”

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Frost reaches out and puts an iron grip on the nearby bottom rope to the break the pin. Thompson loses no time in springing to his feet and dropping another knee to Frost’s embattled ribs. Frost grunts, but still seems fairly out of it. TNT rushes to the near corner and pulls himself up to the top turnbuckle by the top rope.

Axis: “It looks like he’s lining up the Shell Shock, which we all know is the setup for the Dynamite.”

(Edwin bites King’s finger to get his hand released. King yelps and shakes his hand to wave the pain out.)

Edwin: “But before that, don’t forget to buy my album, “Can I Borrow a Feeling” from SJL.com, while supplies last.”

King: “Yeah, all 5 million unsold copies.”

TNT raises his arms high over his hand and the audience roars. Thompson straightens out to his full 6 foot 5 height and leans down into the ropes. He spring off and cocks an elbow aimed directly for Frost’s bandaged midsection. Right before he hits, Frost rolls to right and Taylor splats hard on the canvas.

Axis: “HE MISSED! THE COCKY TNT TOOK TOO MUCH TIME AND MISSED!”

Frost bolts to his feet with his nostrils flaring like a wild bull. TNT puts a hand on his banged up right elbow as he rocks back and forth on his knees. Frost charges with a knee to TNT’s jaw and his head snaps back.

King: “The breeze off of that whiff has given Frost his second wind.”

Edwin: (frustrated) “I know that’s a Billy Joel song, but I can’t think of it.”

Frost violently pulls Thompson to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Frost steps to the side and as TNT comes running by, he pulls up the man’s left arm and shoots a hard, stiff uppercut into his chest.

Axis: “TOUCH OF FROST!”

Thompson wheezes from the below directly to his heart and tries to back away, but Frost won’t let go of the left arm and rockets in another stiff heart punch.

King: “TOUCH OF FROST!”

Frost pulls back and fires again, and again, and again, blind rage the only thing showing on his blank face.

Edwin: “My turn, TOUCH OF FROST, TOUCH OF FROST, TOUCH OF FROST!”

Referee Matthew Kivell grabs Frost from behind by his right shoulder and tries to pull him off of Thompson. Frost whips his head around sharply to stare at Kivell. Thompson’s face is scrunched up and he can’t seem to make any air go into his lungs.

Axis: “GOOD GOD, THOMPSON COULD BE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. KIVELL NEEDS TO STOP THIS!”

As a formality, Frost jabs TNT’s head between his legs and hooks him under the elbows. He lifts the man off the mat and into his chest, to slam him down with the Early Winter. Frost stays down for the pin and Kivell makes the reluctant count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Funyon: (from ringside) “Here is your winner, by pinfall, Frrrrrrrrooooooossssssst!”

Frost holds a solitary fist up in the air as the audience boos. Paramedics rush to ringside and begin to thoroughly examine Thompson’s heart. In the chaos, Frost slips out of the ring under the bottom ropes and puts a hand on his ribs. He limps back to the locker room area, leaning heavily on the guardrail, hoping no one sees how weak he is with all of the attention on TNT. But, of course, someone takes notice.

Axis: “As Frost loses his adrenaline rush based on hate and anger, he shows just how hurt he really is. However, how more hurt is T.V. champion Taylor Nicholas Thompson. The damage here is something both men will not be able to overcome soon. We will be right back.”

The camera fades out on Thompson being helped to his feet in the ring by the medical team, seemingly all right and the crowd cheers in relief.

May 9, 2002

***Back from commercial break, Kevin Cole stands backstage with the focused Tod deKindes. ***

Cole: I'm here with Tod deKindes, set to go for the European title here tonight. It's all led up to this, Tod, possibly the match of your career so far; you against Danny Williams for the title.

Tod: …You know, Cole, I've been hearing all week that it's still a little too early for me to get this match, that I don't deserve it. That's fine by me, that's their opinion. All I wanted was another chance at Danny Williams, and I got it. This time, the European title is on the line. How do my chances look?…To be honest, not very good. My shoulder still hurts from last Saturday, doctors told me not to compete…but I'm not gonna make any excuses. I'm gonna take this one step at a time, one day at a time, and if all goes well…then I guess you're looking at the next European champion.

Cole: No doubt this is gonna be one tremendous mat--…What the?

***Taylor Nicholas Thompson arrives in the picture, next to Tod. ***

TNT: Tod, my man, I'm proud of ya. Not only you get to whup Danny Williams' ass one more time, but you got a chance to take his belt, too. Now, allow me to be the first one to wish you good luck, and I know that some of the boys in the back are rooting for you too. And if you ever need someone to watch your back, you know who to call.

Tod: No, listen…I'm honored you would do that, but no…I'm gonna do this myself.

TNT: Just saying, man.

Cole: …All right well, (TNT taps Tod on the shoulder on his way out, causing Tod to wince in pain) Tod deKindes, Danny Williams, European title; it's gonna be a barn burner. Back to you guys at ringside.

***Back to ringside. ***

Axis: Coming up next, folks, it's our European title match. And THIS time, allow me to point out that there will be NO time limit whatsoever.

Edwin: That's right, Axis. The fifteen minute time limit is usually reserved for any and all Television title defenses, whether it be for TV shows or Pay Per Views. The European championship rules and regulations doesn't honor that stipulation.

King: There SHOULD be a time limit. Makes things more challenging.

Axis: Without further ado, let's take you to the ring!

…

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and it is for the SJL Euroooo - pean title!! (moderate pop from the crowd) …Introducing first, the challenger…

"SHOOOOOOCK!!"

Funyon: From Muenchen, Germany, weighing in at 225 lbs…Tod - deeeeeeeeeee - Kinnnn - deeeessssssssss!!!

Axis: As you can hear by Funyon's announcement, Tod deKindes has dropped a couple of pounds since Crimson.

Edwin: Yes, he has trained endlessly for days in order to get in shape for his title match. But I've talked to Tod before the show and he told me that his shoulder is still a concern for him. As we all know, Danny Williams was quite relentless in attacking that right shoulder of his last Saturday, and as we can see, Tod hasn't fully recovered from it.

King: And yet, Tod is taking a rematch with Danny Williams. He's gonna regret this, guys, that's all I can say…He's gonna regret this.

***Tod makes his way out, walking in his usual calm but intense pace. Standing under the Smarktron, he bathes in the dizzying array of strobe lights, while feeding on the chants from the crowd. He walks down the aisle with a purpose, throwing random looks at the crowd. He slowly rolls under the bottom rope, making sure not to do any wasted motions with his buggering shoulder. He still finds it within him though to climb up to the second rope in order to release his mighty roar to the crowd. ***

King: Just look at how Tod is moving around in that ring. He's not moving his arm, he doesn't want to injure it any further. You just KNOW that Danny Williams is gonna focus his offense on that shoulder, that's his style.

***Tod removes the trench coat and shades, and does some shoulder rotations; in order to try and soften up the limb. He warms up in the ropes, and takes a seat on a top turnbuckle, awaiting the competition. ***

Funyon: And his opponent…("Calculating Infinity" by Dillinger Escape Plans fires up) …From Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at 238 lbs…he is the SJL EUROPEAN Champion…'Deathwish' - Dannyyyyyyyyy - Williaaaaaaaaaaammms!!!

*** While the crowd starts to shower him with boos, the champion comes out carrying the belt, while looking at the fans in disgust. He casually walks to the ring and throws in his title belt. He walks up to the apron and stares at the crowd. After giving out a disdainful disapproving shake of the head, Williams crosses the ropes and poses with his belt. He tosses it to Mark Hebner, who proudly holds it up for all to see, confirming that the title is indeed on the line. Both men meet up face to face in the center of the ring as Hebner calls for the bell. ***

Axis: The title is up for grabs and here we go!!

***Lock up by both men, into a side headlock applied by Tod. Williams tries to muscle out of it, but Tod holds on and maintains the headlock. Tod moves around, turning the hold into a hammer lock. Standing switch turns the tables, now Tod is in the hammer lock. Tod quickly counters back into his own and puts some crank on it. Williams throws his arm in random directions until he grabs onto a rope. Hebner calls for the break, as both men retreat to separate corners. They come back to center ring and go right into another lock up. This time it's Williams who traps Tod in a headlock, but Tod quickly grabs hold of his opponent's waist and drives him down to the mat with a belly to back suplex. Williams quickly gets up to his feet, holding his lower back. Both men are back face to face, jawing at each other. Williams preps for another lock up, but this time Tod simply SLAPS the taste out of his mouth, to the delight of the Springfield crowd. ***

Axis: Ohh!! He didn't see that one coming!!

King: What the hell kinda sportsmanship is this??!!

***Tod tears into Williams with right hand after right hand to the side of the head. Williams backs to a corner where Tod meets up with him and keeps pounding on him like a railroad spike with piston like rights. He Irish whips him hard into the other corner and waits for him to stagger out to center ring...where he can spear him back down and keep peppering him with rapid fire right hands. ***

King: Are you SURE this guy has an injured arm??

Edwin: Well, it looks all right to me!

Axis: And he's using that arm to ram his fist right into Danny Williams' mouth!

King: Come on ref, get in there!!

***Tod throws his entire body mass into the ropes and comes back with the exclamation point: a fist drop right onto Williams' head. Tod tries a quick cover, but Williams immediately slides out, complaining to Mark Hebner about a closed fist. Tod corners Williams again and this time, he chooses to stomp the proverbial mudhole and then proceeds to walk it dry. Irish whip to the ropes by Tod. Williams ducks two oncoming attacks, but he gets planted down with a jaw jacking front dropkick to the head. Williams rolls outside and gets to his knees, asking for a time out. ***

Axis: There are NO time outs here at SJL!

Edwin: Yeah! Get in there, Deathwish!!

King: Hey, would you please let the champion catch his breath!!

Axis: Tod deKindes is on fire tonight!! Wait, look --!!

***Williams is busy complaining to anyone that'll listen that he's not fully warmed up yet, until he barely notices 225 lbs of german mass flying onto him with a sommersault plancha. ***

King: Tod has jumped the wall!!!!!

Edwin: Oh, shut up.

***Tod is quick to get to his feet, shouting at the crowd, who duly encourages him back. He tosses Williams back in the ring and stands on the apron, waiting for his foe to get up to his feet. Once Williams staggers into position, Tod springboards off the ropes and nails Williams flush in the head with a flying dropkick. He covers. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Williams, who still has a lot left in the tank, gets his shoulder up at two. Tod grabs Williams' head, throws his arm over his head and executes his trifecta of suplexes (snap, front and dropped on the top rope). ***

Edwin: That's what he calls the Sara Sequence, three different suplex variations in a row.

King: …He named a series of moves after a girl??

Axis: I'm sure he has his reasons, King. Unlike certain people, Tod doesn't run his mouth off every chance he gets.

***To that, Suicide King has no answer. Meanwhile, after dropping Williams stomach first across the rope, Tod once again goes to the apron. He shouts a fierce battle cry to the audience and springboards off the ropes with a legdrop...but there's nobody home! Williams slinks back to the safety of the apron while watching Tod land hard on the mat. Williams crosses the ropes…examines the situation…and repeadetly drives his forearm into Tod's upper back, making sure that he stays down. He kicks him in the shoulder a few times, thus obtaining the advantage so far. Irish whip to the ropes by Williams. As Tod bounces back, Williams plants a boot in his guts. He gets a running start in the ropes…and plants that same boot right in Tod's shoulder blade, sending the youngster to his knees, screaming in pain. ***

King: He's found that weak spot, guys! That shoulder has been buggering Tod all week long and he knew it was gonna be a risk coming into this match at less than 100%.

***Williams quickly capitalizes and hooks on a Fujiwara arm bar, trying to wrench Tod's injured arm as bad as he can. Still in this match, though, Tod declines any offers to submit as he quickly crawls to the ropes in order to break up the hold. Williams releases the arm bar, but he keeps stomping on the shoulder, further weakening the already injured limb. Williams pulls up the young german-canadian by the hair and puts on an arm wrench, making sure to twist slowly to make the pain even more lingering. He drives the point of the elbow right behind the shoulder a few times, emphasizing the attack on each blow. Still holding onto the wristlock, Williams runs and jumps over the ropes and lands on the outside mats, snapping Tod's arm against the ropes in the process. ***

Axis: Shades of the Macho Man Randy Savage! Danny Williams is looking to absolutely tear off Tod's arm!

***Williams quickly sneaks in for an attempted cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Tod gets the left shoulder up. Williams drives a few more elbows into Tod's shoulder blade, and then kicks him in the head for the pure sake of humiliation. Cross corner exchange. Tod tries to leap behind a charging Willams, but he's caught and scooped up on the champion's shoulder. He walks around the ring, does a Thumbs Down gesture for the people in the audience and plants Tod down with a vicious shoulder breaker. Cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Tod kicks out once again. He holds up his clenched fist, letting the crowd know that he's not done yet; however Williams comes back and gives him a solid forearm behind the shoulder. He ties up Tod's arm behind his back and then slams him down with authority with a hammerlock slam. He follows it up with a leg drop to the face, and then back to an arm bar. ***

Axis: When all else fails, Danny Williams is going right for that injured arm on Tod deKindes, trying to get a submission win.

***Tod manages to get to his feet, while still in the arm bar. He elbows Williams in the gut, and successfully Irish whips him to the ropes. Williams ducks a clothesline, and a back elbow by Tod. When he goes for a back bodydrop attempt, Williams puts the brakes on and drops Tod with a single arm DDT, once again putting the impact on the right shoulder of the challenger. Cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Th--…

***Kick out by Tod. Once again, Tod courageously raises his balled up fist at the crowd, while the masses cheer him on…but Williams once again puts a stop to that with a hard soccer kick right on the wrist, knocking down Tod's arm against the mat. He takes a few steps back, aiming a perfect elbow drop at the near limp arm. He takes his run, jumps up…and hits nothing but mat! ***

Axis: Nobody home!!

***Tod gets to his feet and nails Williams with a few weak rights, shaking off the pain after each consecutive blow. Tod goes to Irish whip him in the ropes, but Williams counters it with a reversal and some sort of an arm bar takedown. He rises to his feet, taking his time to jaw with the crowd and taunting Tod in the process. Once he turns his attention back to the fierce german, he's met with a surprise small package! ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Th--…

***Kick out at the last second. Upon this sudden surprise burst of offense, Williams shoves Tod to a corner and promptly stomps the hell out of him, focusing the attack on the shoulder. Hebner makes good use of his mandatory five count and orders to Williams to ease up on the attack. Not one to be pushed around, Williams responds by way of letting Mark Hebner know that he's #1…or #11 for that matter. Williams grabs another hammerlock and rams Tod shoulder first into the opposite turnbuckle. He spends once again too much time running his mouth, allowing Tod to roll him up from behind. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Williams squirms out of the hold at the last possible second, looking a bit more upset at Tod's persistence. He brings him to the second rope and chokes him against it. He runs the ropes and connects with a Bossman straddle, putting more emphasis on the bad shoulder. He snapmares Tod in center ring, and then puts on a combination chinlock / arm bar and then holds on. ***

Axis: Unique move there by Deathwish. Can he get the submission with it?

King: It's just a matter of time, I'll have you know. You can NOT wrestle a great match with only one arm and expect to come away the victor. It's just not how it works!

Edwin: You know something, Kingfish, anything can happen in this wicked world we call professional wrestling. Tod deKindes is very capable of upsetting Danny Williams for the title here tonight!

King: Dream on…Hey, I think Tod is tapping! I can hear it!

Axis: Tod is NOT tapping, folks, as you can see. Do NOT let Suicide King's remark affect everything you hear.

***Williams releases the odd maneuver and opts to drop a solid elbow right onto Tod's chest. Slowly but surely, Williams picks up Tod by the hair and then Irish whips him into a corner. He walks up to him, and whips him with authority into the opposite corner. He charges at Tod, prepping for his handspring back elbow…but Tod moves! Williams arrives hard back first into the turnbuckle. Tod seizes the occasion and drives a spear into Williams' gut. He hooks both of his arms and nails an impressive looking double underhook belly to belly suplex. Williams is quickly to his feet. Right hands by Tod, followed up by a standing hurracanrana into a pinning predicament. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Williams kicks out. Both men up. Williams ducks a clothesline and grabs a waist lock, but Tod elbows out (making sure to use the left one). Standing switch. Tod goes for a german suplex, but Williams stays grounded. Tod hammers him with stiff forearms to the upper back and completes the move, driving Williams down hard to the mat. After a few seconds of recuperating, Tod falls on top for the cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

***Shoulder up by Williams. Tod catches Williams with a few weak right hands to the side of the head. Irish whip exchange. Tod foolishly attempts a back bodydrop, so Williams simply grabs him by the arm and the seat of the pants, and rams him shoulder first into a corner post. With Tod hunched over into the corner, holding his shoulder; Williams come from behind, grabs a waist lock and nails his own devastating german suplex. He bridges the hold into a pin. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Th…

***Tod moves his entire upper body and manages to get a shoulder up. ***

Axis: Almost had him!!

King: That was three!! I saw it!!

Edwin: Sorry Kingfish, that was two.

***This time, Williams changes gears and opts to work on Tod's neck. He drives a solid forearm right on the back of Tod's head. He slowly drags up Tod by his long and sweaty dark hair and holds him up in a bearhug. He walks around in a cocky manner…and DROPS Tod throat first on the top rope! ***

King: If this were ECW in 1995 and if Danny Williams was named Steve Austin…it'd be over in a second, Tod would be DEAD!!

Edwin: You don't say…

***Tod staggers around, violently gasping for air as Williams maneuvers behind him. He hooks both arms and then drives him down with a nasty Tiger suplex, once again bridging into a cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Thre…--

***Not one to be defeated so easily, Tod throws his legs backwards, thus freeing himself of the pinning predicament. Williams once again drops the point of the elbow right on Tod's collarbone and takes a few steps back, taking a few seconds to talk some trash and jaw with the fans. ***

Edwin: Danny Williams is wasting too much time here! He has Tod down on the mat and he needs to make a cover!!

King: He knows what he's doing! Deathwish has Tod right where he wants him!!

***Williams looks down on the fallen Tod, who's trying to pull himself up. Williams cackles with glee at the irrelevant efforts by the german grappler. Williams hammers Tod with another forearm to the back of the head and grabs a front facelock. He throws Tod's arm over his head, grabs the cargo pants and lifts him up. Holding him up for the Half Hour Suplex…he instead drops him down with a stiff brainbuster. He covers, but then quickly pulls him up at two, bringing him to his knees instead. Tod, once again tries to pull himself up while Williams looks down on him with disgust. Tod, still out on his knees, uses that one split second used by Deathwish to look at the crowd; and perks up to his feet, grabbing a waist lock of his own on Williams and driving him down hard with a backdrop driver! ***

Axis: Back - Drop - Driver!!!!! Danny Williams is OUT!!

Edwin: The move so dangerous that they only do it in Japan!!!…And here.

***With both men down, Mark Hebner makes good use of his hands and puts on his mandatory ten count. ***

Axis: A great valiant effort by both men here thus far, (1) but Danny Williams has been the one with the advantage (2) thus far.

Edwin: Nevertheless, after that (3) absolutely BRUTAL move by Tod deKindes, neither of these men are moving! (4)

King: As these two men are on the mat (5) sucking wind, this is what it's all about. Who has more guts? Who has more balls? Who (6) has the cajones to last all the way to the very end? Right now?…It looks like Tod is way too hurt and Danny Williams (7) is about to seal the deal.

Edwin: Seal the deal?? He just got dropped on his head!! And they're STILL not moving!! (8, both men actually start to squirm)

Axis: What a disappointment it would be if this were a double knock out (9)…Hebner is ALMOST up to ten!!

***Tod rolls over and throws an arm on top of Williams. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Three!*

***The crowd perks up at the third sound of hand slapping mat, but Hebner quickly waves it off, claiming he saw Williams get the shoulder up. ***

Axis: C'mon, that was three!!

King: That was TWO, and Hebner was quick to point that out, even though he counted three by mistake! Great job by Mark Hebner for once.

Edwin: It was THAT close, gentlemen!

***Tod staggers to his feet, and then sees Williams still layed out on the mat. He looks around at the crowd, crosses the ropes and then gingerly climbs up to the top turnbuckle. As the tension starts to build among the crowd, Tod screams out to the fans and flies off the turnbuckle with a swanton bomb… ***

Axis: Nobody home!!!

***As Tod lays agonizing on the mat, holding his back. Williams slowly gets back up to his feet. He grabs Tod in position, setting him up for a second brainbuster, but Tod slips out of the move and lands behind him. Tod yanks Williams' left arm between his legs, hooks the right arm and lifts him up in the pumphandle position, perking the crowd right back up. ***

Axis: He's going for the Spirit Breaker!!!

Edwin: Not quite…

***Williams slides out of THAT hold and lands behind Tod. Capitalizing quickly on the dazed Tod, Williams quickly holds out both hands and hooks on his favorite submission hold. ***

King: The move of the Gods: The Crossface Chicken Wing!! Stick a fork in Tod deKindes, he - is - DONE!!

***Screaming in agony, Tod refuses to give it up. Carrying the weight of two, Tod tries with difficulty to walk to the ropes. ***

Edwin: The move is not fully locked in yet, Deathwish usually punctuates it with a full body scissors, which isn't in clamped on just yet!

***Tod walks around still in the hold, pedals up the ropes and uses the Bret Hart Wrestlemania VIII submission counter into a pin. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Thr..--

***Williams quickly squirms out and lifts his shoulder up at two and a half. Both men are slow to get to their feet, exchanging weak right hands. Irish whip exchange. Tod catches Williams in a sideslam position and turns the move into a tombstone piledriver attempt. Williams wiggles his legs around…and falls backwards on his feet, reversing the move. He positions Tod properly and PLANTS him with a sitdown tombstone! ***

Axis: That's the same move that paralyzed another wrestler from another organization of which we legally can't say the name on the air!!!!

King: That's it, he's gone!

***Williams shakes the cobwebs loose…and puts on the lateral press for the cover. ***

*One!*

*Two!*

*Thre…--

Axis: NO!!!!

Edwin: He got the shoulder up!!

King: You gotta be KIDDING ME!!!!

***As the crowd now roars for their favorite, Tod keeps his clenched fist brandished in the air. Pounding the mat in utter frustration, Williams orders Tod to his feet. Tod, however, isn't very quick to comply; opting to remain on his knees. Williams, feeling just about ready to bring this one home, does the Razor Ramon hand arm swipe, letting the crowd know it's over with a resounding "That's it!!!". He grabs two handful of Tod's hair, slowly bringing the german grappler to his feet. He yells some more trash at him and then shoves his head between his legs. ***

Axis: Could we see the yet to be seen Tiger Driver '91 from Danny Williams? We all know this is a most dangerous move for anybody to take. If Williams hits it, it is OVER.

***Williams hooks one arm…He goes to hook the other, but suddenly, something catches his attention out of the corner of his eye. Taylor Nicholas Thompson has appeared under the Smarktron, watching the proceedings. ***

King: WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?! HE HAS NO BUSINESS HERE!!!

Axis: TNT, the Television champion, no doubt there for moral support.

***Still with both of Tod's arms hooked, Williams sees TNT and screams a few words at him, which are picked up by the camera mic. ***

DW: Hey!!…You just watch…what I'm gonna do…with your german boy!!!

***Williams lifts up Tod…but Tod manages to stick his feet back on the mat. He breaks free, grabs Williams' legs and catapults him into the ring post! ***

Axis: He countered it!!

***Tod, on hands and knees, waits for Williams to come into position. He appropriates him back into the pumphandle position and and DRIVES him down head first! ***

Axis: SPIRIT BREAKER~!! The cover!!!

*One!*

*Two!*

*Three!!!*

***Bell rings, as the crowd explodes into cheers.***

Funyon: Here is the winner of the bout…and NEEEEEEWWW…SJL European champion…Tod - deeeeeeeee - Kiiiinnnnnnn - deeeeeeeees!!!

Edwin: What an upset!!

Axis: Tod deKindes has done it!! His first gold here in the Junior Leagues!!

***And with that, as quietly as he had arrived, TNT flashes an approving nod, and then walks back to the dressing room. Meanwhile, Mark Hebner hands the European title belt to Tod, who clings to it, and can't help but stare at it with a look of exhausted disbelief. While the victor's theme song booms out to the crowd, Hebner raises Tod's hand in triumph to make it all official.***

Axis: They said he couldn't do it! But despite an injury, he has overcome all odds to become champion!

***Tod, belt in left hand, gingerly rolls out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, with his right arm hanging at his side. He gives out one last look to the audience, who roars with approval at the new champion; before he crosses the curtains and heads to the lockerroom.***

May 9, 2002

King : “Still, the fans insisted on throwing mentos at the security *and* us announcers! Well, ME even! I am THE ICON, and those worms don’t deserve to breathe in my personal space bubble!”

Edwin : “I’ll pop your bubble faster than Flexxx pops a cherry…”

Axis : “…”

Edwin : “TOOL. Mark Stevens was an icon, not you!”

King : “Then I am an arch-“

Edwin : “Flamer!”

“AHEM!!!” The camera switches to Axis on the left.

Axis : “Now, our next matchup only intensifies King’s evil bookings… *sigh* in which an X Force Nine member must suffer. Captain Obvious prevails again, whoopee. The Alphabetamaniac, Z, must face the New Sound gunman Flexxx.”

…..

The cheery pop sounds of Faith No More's 'Epic' funk over the stereo system, as the crowd electrifies with cheers! A single spotlight shines down on the ramp, as Z throws aside the curtain. He spreads his arms out and almost goes insane, screaming and running down the ramp! As he sprints to the ring, he trips and falls to roll all the way down the hard steel!

Axis : “Oh god no…”

Funyon: “The first competitor! He is 6 feet and 229 pounds, and he hails from Trenton, New Jersey…………….”

(ridiculously deep breath)

“…ZEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Right when Z’s head rolls and collides into the edge of the apron, Z stands up, spins on his heel like he isn’t a loser, and slides under the bottom rope. He paces around the ring, taking a moment to gab with a few rowdy fans, before curling up in a corner, anxiously awaiting his opponent...

King : “Eww… is that Z? Get him out of the ring!”

But then, the arena turns dark and a dim red strobe light pulsates…

"Born as Ghosts" by Rage Against the Machine plays and out comes the sleaziest man on this earth, the . Flexxx walks onto the ramp and does the Diamond Cutter taunt... then breaks his hands apart, signaling a huge yellow stream of pyro to fly into the ramp and explode three times!

BANG!!!

Within the yellow smoke created by the explosions, Flexxx twirls around his kendo stick and calmly walks down the ring. As the lone star maverick struts as he can only strut, he points towards Z and swears at him while the Alphabetamaniac dances like a total ing idiot and embarasses himself on national television!

Axis : “Is this Z guy even in the mental state to wrestle???”

But just as soon as Flexxx enters the ring, Z stumbles his way towards Flexxx and knocks him left-to-right with a surprise punch!

“DING! DING! DING!”

The uncredible Z keeps Flexxx at bay, knocking him about like crazy with a not-so-explosive barrage of weak punches, thud after thud, and then Z rolls his fist up sideways… and sticks it straight in tha Flunkmasta’s face! Flexxx gets his back shoved onto the ropes, and thus allowing Z to make the next strike. Z whips Flexxx into the corner, waiting for the Flunkmasta’s spine to collide with the metal post. Then Z sprints towards the downed Flexxx and leaps up, flying with his elbow pointed towards the porn star’s skull…….. SMASH! Halfway hanging onto the ropes, Flexxx gets smashed by Z’s elbow a 2nd time, then a 3rd, and then Z starts the dance of furious mudhole stomps into Flexxx’s gut, ramming those hard army boots into Flexxx’s midsection 10 consecutive times.

Axis : “Wow! Z has actually managed to out-‘wrestle’ Flexxx! The Flunkmasta isn’t even fighting back!”

…Z then turns around and sits his BUTT on Flexxx’s face, and rests one rolled up fist under his chin like the famous “pondering” statue of ancient Greece. Z lets out a fart on Flexxx’s face!

Edwin : “Speaking of the devil… did I just hear a ‘TOOT’?”

King : “No, you’re just a deaf and dumb fruitcake. Sorry Edwin.”

Z then pulls his bum off a damaged face, as a nauseated Flexxx rolls around the ring, holding his nose! The fans go absolutely frickin’ crazy! Z then dances around like an idiot and grabs Flexxx’s long dreadlocks, then pulls him back up and knocks him with another hard right knuckle to the face! But right then, Flexxx latches onto Z’s arm and applies a really stiff standing armbar. Z starts to groan in pain, as he loses control over himself and Flexxx gains the upper hand. The wily porn star bends Z’s body down and lands a sharp underkick to Z’s midsection. Flexxx then whips Z to the ropes, while Z’s too clumsy to stop his involuntary running. But to Flexxx’s dismay… Z grabs onto the ropes and breaks his run.

King : “Bah… cheap!”

Z runs towards Flexxx like he’s going to give him a running football kick to the nuts, but Flexxx turns around and lands a bone-cracking heel kick to Z’s chin, knocking him about! As Z weakly stumbles around the ring again, Flexxx charges down Z with an elbow to his nerves and nearly knocks Z flat on the ground! But the Alphabetamaniac holds himself up proudly on his knees, and Flexxx gets really, really pissed off. So the Flunkmasta grabs Z’s right arm once again, but this time he also grabs Z’s head and swoops him down for an armbreaker DDT. Flipping Z over, the sleazy bastard flips Z over and covers him for the pin! Referee Hardcastle slides over for the 3-count from hell!

“ONE!”

“TWO-kickout!”

Flexxx keeps hold of Z’s head and pummels his skull inwards with numerous hard right-fist punches. After exhausting himself over punching, Flexxx jumps back up and runs to the ropes, then flips his middle fingers around screaming “F*** YOU!!!” and brings a crushing falling elbow to the maniac’s ribs! Then Flexxx rolls himself back up and comes back down with another falling elbow! Tha Flunkmasta drags Z off the ground by his crazily-dyed hair and readies for a really stiff chop to the ribs…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Then another…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Woo… encore! Encore!

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Z now holds his chest and panted while trails of sweat are dripping down his skin, having just taken the brunt effect of three ultra-stiff knife edge chops! Right after the 3rd chop, Flexxx lays his arm under Z’s armpit and grabs his back, positioning him for a Uranage Suplex.

…But Z rams his kneecap into the porn star’s gut and reverses Flexxx’s uranage by grabbing his tights and head, then lifting him over for a vertical suplex!

Edwin : “OMGODZ~!!! The vertical suplex of unfathomably evil proportions!”

And he stalls… and he stalls… before he totally craps out and loses all his strength…

…

THUD! Flexxx crashes back-first onto the mat! Z then grabs Flexxx’s head again and pummels his hard knuckles to make a beee-utiful dent on the porn star’s forehead. Z then stops hammering the Flunkmasta and walks over to Flexxx’s legs, then spreads them apart like a wishbone and does the Hardy-esque jumping legdrop to Flexxx’s “golden package”, making the pr0n masta kick his legs around in squealing pain. Still holding Flexxx’s legs, Z drags his victim all the way over to the corner turnbuckle and lays him diagonal to that same T.B. post. Z then climbs up the front of the turnbuckle, up to the 2nd rope, and faces a downed Flexxx. Z then raises his arm up in the air like the proud bastard he is, and the Alphabetamaniac leaps down with his right leg crashing down on Flexxx’s windpipe, for a Guillotine Leg Drop!

Axis : “Huge Guillotine Legdrop on Flexxx! But why’d he pull him so damn close to the turnbuckle?”

King : “Cause he has NO ability whatsoever to JUMP!?”

Edwin : “Yo shizza’, white boys can’t jump… white boys can’t jump…”

Z hooks the leg…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THR-kickout!”

Z, not being able to gain the ulitimate pinfall on the Flunkmasta Flexxx, picks the pr0n master back up and onto his feet, then Z grabs Flexxx’s arm and positions himself under the Flunkmasta to whip him onto his head in a hiptoss, knocking Flexxx off of his feet. Z drags Flexxx back up and whiplashes his body over him again in a second hiptoss. The wacky one then goes for a final hiptoss, but the porn star kicks Z in the leg to try and stop the Z-ster’s vibes of control. As Flexxx shoves at Z aggressively with an intent of pushing him onto the mat, Z shifts Flexxx’s momentum and whiplashes him about for another hip toss!

Axis : “OH MY GAWD… three hip tosses of hellishly huge discombobulation! It made the ring shake!”

Edwin : “No no no, my elementary aussie colleage… those were just those camera guys playing tricks on those toolish viewers of ours…”

King : “You can’t say that on the air, you idiot!”

Damn those depraved cameramen! And now, Z positions Flexxx into a sitting reverse armbar and tugs at his arm with a constant nerve-searing pain. After hearing his weakened opponent cry out for mercy, Z lifts Flexxx back up, still holding that arm, and finally lets go to whip Flexxx towards the ropes! When Flexxx bounces back from the ropes, Z lunges at him with a monstrous Arm Grenade clothesline but completely misses him as Flexxx dodges underneath! Z runs towards Flexxx with a catching maneuver that XF9’s loopy one set up for a body slam, but Flexxx lifts up his boot and cracks Z in the face with a shattering chin kick! Z wobbles around in a dazed state, as Flexxx now turns the tide on Z and knocks him in the face with three hard-knuckled right punches.

Axis : “Uh… something tells me Z is seeing double right now…”

Flexxx then nails a spinning heel kick into Z’s gut, then pokes Z in his two eyes. While the loopy one stumbles around the ring with a blinding agony, the Z-ster becomes enraged and charges towards Flexxx without any sense of direction. The conniving porn star sees a clear advantage and lifts Z up by his two legs, propelling the crazy Z overhead and sending him flying over the ropes!

King : “Now if only we had a pool of corrosive acid for Z to fall in! The money we’d make!”

…Flexxx lets go of Z’s legs and sends him falling face-flat onto the solid concrete!

Axis : “OWW… holy shit! FLAPJACK SLAM TO THE OUTSIDE!”

Feeling the effects of the over-the-rope Flapjack Slam, the nearly-motionless Z’s aching body quivers on the concrete foundation of the arena, and Z reluctantly lifts his face up and wipes the dirt off, yet the rest of the bones in his body are so shaken they keep him down. The Flunkmasta Flexxx leans on the ropes and laughs as he looks down on Z, then steps onto the apron and looms above. Garnishing jeers from the crowd, Flexxx leaps down with a diving elbow attack and smashes his hard bone into the Alphabetamaniac’s spine!

“AAAOOOOWW!!!” Z cries out.

Axis : “Goddamnit, Flexxx! Z’s truly hurt now and he’s taking huge stabs at his back!”

King : “He and Mafia are proud readers of the Suicide , the tactical secrets to success!”King’s Guide to Being a Heel

Edwin : “No wonder heels’ asses are kicked all the time… they read your book!”

King : “…”

Flexxx dislocates his elbow from Z’s spine and starts stomping a rampage on the afflicted area of the XF9er. Then, after stomping and stomping to high hell, Flexxx grabs hold of Z’s leg and rams his boot into his soft calf muscle, intensifying the goof’s pain. Immediately, Flexxx twists the leg around in a contortion and applies a single leg crab, then sits on Z’s back and pulls back on it like a stump in the ground. Z desperately waves his fingers at the ring’s apron to grab hold, but Flexxx only pulls him away and constantly pries apart at Z’s knee and lower leg. Flexxx gets bored, yawns, and pulls Z back up on his feet as the crowd chants “ASSHOLE!” in that cheery, cheery tone they always do.

…Standing Z upwards, Flexxx whips Z into the steel barricade and CRACK!

Axis : “Z ran chest-first into that security barricade! That cannot be good at all!”

Z turns around and holds his throbbing sides, as the fans pat him on the back and cheer him on. Nevertheless, Flexxx lays out Z on the barricade and backs up his arm for a stiff chop…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Seconds, anybody?

*SMACK* - “OOOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Glutton’s surprise of a THIRD helping of pain!

*SMACK* - “OOOOOOHHHHH!!!”

Coughing up spit from the lung-piercing chops, Z cringes as Flexxx clutches the XF9er’s throat and forcefully chokes the oxygen out of Z! As Flexxx slowly pulls his opponent onto the ground, Z thrusts himself back up in a weakened state and spins himself around to switch positions with Flexxx, then he shoves Flexxx’s jaw into the edge of the barricade! Flexxx stammers around the outside as his jaw starts to bleed, and Z pulls him back for several punches. With three hard rights, Z knocks Flexxx for a loop and grabs the pr0n masta’s legs, then runs like crazy towards the corner of the ring and hovers Flexxx over the steel stairway in an old-school spinebuster position….. then shoves him down on his back and-

CRASH!!!

Axis : “Z-style spinebuster on the pr0n-scum! Directly on the sharp-edged steel steps!”

Flexxx holds his back and winces in agony, as Z raises his arm up and gets a super-megaton of cheers! Motivated, Z walks over towards the announce table and pokes an official in the eyes to seize a blue chair, and Z walks over to Flexxx as his opponent’s still leaning on the ring apron. Z lifts the chair up with a slap-happy grin on his face!

King : “NO! ACK… that ing idiot! He can’t use weapons in a DQ match!”

…But Flexxx rolls out of the way when Z smacks the chair down, and the Alphabetamaniac becomes PISSED! He chases after Flexxx with the chair and swings the lightweight metal at him, but Flexxx crawls and rolls away with each loud smack. Eventually, Flexxx slides underneath the bottom rope and scurries inside of the ring.

Axis : “Flexxx is a coward! Look, that sleazy bastard is running away!”

After the fans boo and some guys in the back start up a chant of “PUSSY!”, Z follows Flexxx to the inside of the ring and stalks the elusive porn star down, and then Z runs to the ropes and comes back with a kneedrop to the Flunkmasta’s forehead. Then he shakes his legs around again like a wobbly old man and drops the knee down on Flexxx a second time. After two consecutive knee smashes, the Alphabetamaniac spins around like a lunatic and jumps upwards, only to bring a leg drop down on Flexxx’s trachea! THUD! Z grabs a hold of Flexxx’s leg and hooks it for the pinfall, but the impatient, agitated porn star immediately kicks out before Z can gain referee Hardcastle’s attention. Quite a bit pissed off, Z drags Flexxx back onto his feet and knocks him with a hard right punch, then nails him with a second and third punch. Making Flexxx wobble around from the fashionable Z-style onslaught, the crazy XF9er grabs the pr0n masta’s arm to smash his head and arm into the hardened mat, nailing a Single-Arm DDT. After bashing Flexxx’s skull into the mat, Z pulls Flexxx back up by his arm and whips the weakened Flunkmasta over Z’s body and onto Flexxx’s back in a Snap Suplex.

Axis : “Wow... it’s hard to believe that Z has so much control over this matchup right now.”

King : “Yeah, considering his mental retardation... but most Gorillas are smart enough to tear humans limb from limb. So why not Z?”

Edwin : “YOU FOOLS! PANDAS ARE SUPERIOR TO GORILLAS IN EVERY SINGLE WAY!”

King : “Pandas suck. Anything that supports the World Wildlife Fund sucks!”

While the commentators bantered, Z regained enough strength to cover Flexxx for the pinfall. Referee Hardcastle made a slide over and raised his arm up for that ominous 3-count...

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREE-kickout!”

Axis : “NO! Flexxx just barely gets the shoulder up!”

Z angrily lifts Flexxx back up and clutches his head to throw some punches, but Flexxx grabs Z’s fist and knocks Z back in the temple with a counter-punch. After beating the spit out of Z’s head, Flexxx pulled back on the loopy XF9er’s arm and lifted his leg up for a cracking Hook Kick to the face! Grounding Z back down on the mat, Flexxx rolls up his arms for a “F*** YOU!” falling elbow and smashes Z’s ribs with the elbow. The Flunkmasta rolls himself back up and flings the middle fingers around again, and comes crashing down on Z for a second falling elbow! Then Flexxx grabs Z’s left arm and pulls him all the way back up, following up his offense with an irish whip to the ropes. Z bounces off the 3 ropes and sprints towards Flexxx, however, with a surprise Kitchen Sink to the gut! Flexxx goes “Oomph!” and flips over Z’s knee, but stands back up to throw another punch at Z. The Alphabetamaniac blocks Flexxx’s punch, grabbing his opponent’s knuckles, thus allowing Z the opportunity to whip Flexxx back into the ropes. This time, when the helpless pr0n masta uncontrollably runs back towards an anxious nutcase, Z grabs hold of Flexxx’s neck and thrusts his body upwards... then back down for a belly-to-belly Half-Nelson Suplex!

Axis : “Wow! Z is still dominating over the Flunkmasta! Will he get the ultimate pinfall?”

...Z doesn’t pin Flexxx, though. He looms over the slowly moving Flunkmasta, holding his arm high up in the air.

King : “WHY ISN’T THAT DUMBSHIT TAKING THE PIN!?!??!!?!? PERFECT... AGH... MOTHER OF GOD OPPORTUNITY!”

Axis : “I think that he’s poised for a final blow... Z can never be too careful, now can he?”

As it takes an ungodly amount of time for Flexxx to pull his aching, weakened body off from the mat, Z gets insanely impatient and yanks tightly onto Flexxx’s long dreadlocks and makes the porn star face his adversary. Immediately, Z dives towards Flexxx with an ultra-stiff clothesline from hell, referred by him as the Arm Grenade........... but the pr0n masta ducks underneath his arm, *almost* getting beheaded, and Z turns around. Flexxx kicks Z in the gut and grabs the maniac’s head into a ¾ turn headlock, then RAMSHACKLES~! the Z-ster’s jaw right into his shoulder for a massive stunner!

Axis : “TWISTERFUCK STUNNER!!! TWISTERFUCK STUNNER ON Z!!! FLEXXX HAS THIS MATCH!”

Z bounces off stiffly and falls onto the mat, losing all mobility from the impacting stunner. Flexxx pulls himself into a cross-body cover over Z and referee Hardcastle counts off the pin…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREE!!!”

Axis : “Yes! Z has this match won!!!”

Edwin : “Uh… I don’t think so, Axis. Get a closer look…”

Axis : “AH SHIT! You’re right, Edwin……. Z put his foot on the bottom rope! Flexxx did NOT get the pinfall!”

Flexxx crouches down on Z’s midsection, just about teeming with rage, and the ing pissed-off Flexxx clutches the Z-ster’s head and thrusts his hard right knuckles into Z’s temple again, and again, and again… then Flexxx spreads Z’s legs wide open like a wishbone and stomps one foot into the downed Z’s groin! Even as Z is holding his damaged mansack in agony, Flexxx chokes Z with one of his boots while holding onto the ropes for leverage. While Flexxx is choking Z with one boot, he stomps a mudhole into Z’s ribs and lungs with the other boot! The crowd plainly becomes appalled at their former trustworthy X-rated hero of the late Destruction, and his cheap, brutal tactics, and they cannot hold back their chanting any longer…

“ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!”

Flexxx turns away from the knocked-out-cold Z to swear at the fans and flip them off… but just then, the fans start to cheer when Z cocks his head back up and slowly makes a stand!

Axis : “Z is back in action! And Flexxx isn’t facing his opponent!”

Right from behind, without ANY warning, Z grabs Flexxx’s legs and trips the blindsided porn star onto the mat. Still holding Flexxx’s legs, Z also grabs his opponent’s arms and wraps them around Flexxx’s legs, and then sits on Flexxx while pulling back on ALL of his limbs, locking in the Nelbina! The Flunkmasta Flexxx cries out in anguish as all four of his major limbs are being derooted by Z, who’s just sitting on Flexxx’s back and enjoying his Alphabetamaniac self!

…Then Z looks up towards the top rope, and the fans cheer even louder. Z gets off of Flexxx and climbs on top of the turnbuckle, as Flexxx is still bruised from the Nelbina, and Z looks down on Flexxx from the top of the turnbuckle. Z turns so his back is facing Flexxx, and then he leaps off and does a smooth flip in midair, with both of his knees smashing into Flexxx’s ribs!

Axis : “Z JUST HIT THE SHOTGUN MOONSAULT! IT COULD ALL BE OVER NOW!”

Edwin : “I don’t think so… look! Z’s holding his knees rather peculiarly. I think Z might also be hurt!”

As Z clutched his right knee from the pain of the moonsault and previous submission holds to his leg, and Flexxx slowly recovered from the Nelbina and the moonsault, referee Hardcastle saw both men down on the mat and started the ominous countdown…

Everybody watched with suspense…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

Both men were still limp…

“THREE!”

“FOUR!”

“FIVE!”

Z started to move…

“SIX!”

-

“SEVEN!”

Flexxx rolled onto his knees as Z was already on his knees…

“EIGHT!”

-

“NINE!”

Z got into a standing postion, and Flexxx was just about to do the same… but Z grabbed Flexxx’s head and devastated him with -CRACK- a sickeningly brutal headbutt! Before the knocked-about porn star could stumble around the ring and escape, Z nailed Flexxx with a haymaker to the temple! Z then grabbed Flexxx’s shoulders and nailed a haymaker to his midsection! Right after then, Z nailed a hard right punch, after another hard right punch, then he backed himself up and went for the giant knee-jump Hammer Rush… but Flexxx whipped Z towards the ropes! The crazy Z bounced from the ropes and dodged a spinning heel kick from Flexxx, then went to the other ropes and bounced back with a flying clothesline!…… But Flexxx dodged the clothesline and stalled to wait for Z to rebound back… and then Z finally leaps up at Flexxx and nails the knee-smash Hammer Rush in Flexxx’s face!

Axis : “Hammer Rush on Flexxx! But what’s next now from Z!?”

…Z stomped his foot on the ground three times and made the crowd pop like crazy… signaling the Blizzard of Oz! Z then charges towards Flexxx with his trademark finisher superkick, but Flexxx suprisingly ducks underneath Z’s big leg! Before Z can turn around, Flexxx grabs two of Z’s limbs and lifts him up into the Fireman’s Carry, then stalls for 5 seconds… and nails a really high Diamond Cutter from 10 feet in the air! THUD!

Axis : “GOLDEN GUN!!! Z JUST TASTED THE LONE STAR MAVERICK’S GOLDEN BULLET!”

Then Flexxx hooks the leg for the pinfall…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREE!!!!!!!”

“DING! DING! DING!”

Funyon : “Your winner…….. THA FLUNKMASTA FLEXXX!!!”

[“Born as Ghosts” plays. Fade to black.]

May 9, 2002

The loyal fans return to their cozy seats from a commercial break.

Axis: Welcome back folks, after that short commercial break, we are ready for some triple threat action.

Edwin: Sydney Sky will have to face two men, Jacob Helmsley the insane pipe man, and the veteran Xero.

King: Syd always has two men with her, maybe more.

Edwin: I thought she was...

Axis: OKAY! Moving onwards. Sydney Sky won against Jacob Helmsley on Crimson via pinfall. Now Jake will seek revenge on the sultry Sky.

Edwin: Though with a twist, Xero coming back after missing Crimson, will be part of this fiasco.

King: A three way, eh?

Edwin: Get your mind out of the gutter.

King: Syd's hot, what can I say.

Axis: King has a point. Knowing you judge men and all.

Edwin's face burns up, as King is laughing hysterically. With all of the nerves, Edwin punches King right in the face.

King: MOTHER-!

Axis: NO VIOLENCE ON MY DAMN SHOW! Every fricken time you two whine about the tinniest thing.

Edwin: But....but...

Axis: I couldn't care less.

King: I'm gonna get you, you sorry little carny.

Edwin: Remember, I have friends you know.

King: All of them are gay, just like you.

Axis: (under his own breath) idiots. Looks like the fans are itching to see this next match, and same with me.

"Meaning of Life" by Disturbed is blasted loudly in The Drome. Jacob walks out with plenty of boos from the crowd, and "You Suck" chants. He ignores all the boos, as he proceeds to the ring. Mr. Helmsley slides into the ring, and heads on over towards the farthest turnbuckle. One step at a time, Helmsley climbs the turnbuckles, and slowly raises his arms high up in the air.

Edwin: The crowd sure hates Jake.

Axis: And he doesn't have the pipe with him either.

King: He's got plenty of pipes, if you know what I mean.

Edwin: I don't follow you.

King: Of course you don't, you are a dumb ass carnie.

Funyon: In this triple threat match, at a height of Six feet and four inches, and weighing in at Two Hundred and Twenty Seven pounds. From Calgary, Alberta, Canada, he is the psychopathic, pipe basher. JACOB HELMSLEY!!!!

Axis: Jacob hoping to seek revenge on the lovely Sydney Sky, and probably he'll do some damage to Xero also.

"Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve begins to play as the beautiful Sydney Sky appears with a wide smile. The fans begin to cheer wildly, as a cameraman catches a blue sign saying "Marry me Sydney". Blue, purple, and white pyro fire off, as she rushes towards the ring.

Axis: There is no love loss between these two competitors.

King: And I am glad that I am behind this desk.

Edwin looks at King in disgust.

King: What?

Sydney slides into the ring, as Jacob stomps on her back viciously. Mr. Helmsley grabs Syd by her hair, and throws her into the turnbuckles. Jake grabs a hold of the top rope and starts to stomp on the chest of Sydney. Stomp after stomp, Sydney falls down on the canvas. Jacob starts to choke Sydney with his foot, pressing down hard on the neck. The ref starts the five count on Jacob or he is out of the match.

One.....

Two.....

Three.....

Four. Jacob lets go of the hold.

Axis: Where the hell is Xero?

Edwin: Who knows, probably drinking, dunno.

King: MY POOR SYDNEY!!!

Axis: King showing sympathy to a JL wrestler. This is not like you King.

King: She is so pretty though.

Edwin *cough*Loser*cough*

King: Speak for yourself.

Sydney holds her throat, and rolls out of the ring before Jacob can do any more harm to her. Referee Matthew Kivell is having a few words with Jacob inside the ring, before Jake slides out of the ring. Sydney laying down on the mats, gasping for air, as Jacob comes closer towards Sydney. As Jacob grabs Syd by her hair, the lights suddenly shut down.

King: What the?

Edwin: Hold me.

King: NO!

A soft guitar riff starts to kick up, as "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden. Jake looks towards the entrance way, looking for Xero. After a few seconds, Jake looks around wondering what the hell is going on. The lights are turned back on as Sydney crawls backwards on her hands, backing up towards the steel guard rails. The fans react loudly, cheering as Xero stands right behind Mr. Helmsley. Mr. Helmsley is frozen in time. Very slowly he turns his head and looks behind him, only to see Xero. With his left hand, Xero throws a strong haymaker knocking him back a few inches. With the left hooks and right jabs, Xero pummels Jacob right into the guard rail. Sydney leaning up against the steel steps, watching Xero kicking ass on the psychopathic Jacob Helmsley. Mr. Simon leans over and grabs Jake by his wrist, and whips him into the steel turnbuckles. Jacob screaming in pain when he ran into the guard rails.

King: Xero's has a horseshoe up his ass.

Edwin: I don't see one.

King: Its a figure of speech.

Edwin: Oh...I get it. Like, King sucks co-

Axis: Knock it off guys. Xero saved Sydney from getting her ass kicked by Jake.

King: You don't think Sydney is strong.

Axis: Why...uh...

King: She would kick Jake right where the sun don't shine.

Edwin: The North Pole?

Axis and King both sigh in Edwin's stupidity. Axis whispers into Eddie Mac's ear.

Edwin: Oh...you mean...

Axis nodded.

Edwin: That's gotta hurt.

King: How is that suppose to hurt if you don't have one?

Xero grabs Jake by his pony-tail and rolls him inside the ring. Xero turns towards Sydney, as she gets up to her feet. Xero doesn't want to hurt Ms. Sky, but Syd throws a wild slap that catches Xero off guard.

Axis: Holy!

Edwin: The slap heard round the world.

Xero holds his cheek, as you can see the red marks from Sydney's slap. Sydney runs away from Xero, and starts to run around the ring. Xero starts to chase her around the ring, catching up towards her. Sydney slides into the ring, and so does Xero, but Jacob drops an elbow on Xero's back. Sydney walks over and starts to stomp on Xero's back as well. Both Sydney and Jacob grabs Xero by his arms, and throws him towards the ropes. Xero recoils off the ropes, and heads back towards both Jake and Syd. Both of them lock their arms with Xero, and tosses him over with the flowing double team hip toss. Sydney grabs Xero by his head, and walks on over to the turnbuckles. Ms. Sky slams Xero's head off the top turnbuckle. Sydney brushes her arm off of Xero's chest with a huge slap. The Drome fans scream "Woooo!" Sydney does another chop across Xero's chest, and another "Woooo!" was hollered. Xero holds his chest in pain, falling down on the canvas. Jacob walks behind Sydney, and grabs her precious hair. Mr. Helmsley turns Syd around, as Sydney in desperation knees the psycho in the nuts.

Axis: Ouch!

Edwin: That is dirty wrestling at its finest.

King: WHERE'S THE JUSTICE!?!?!?

Axis: You gonna call Cyclone Comet?

King: No.

Axis: Referee Matthew Kivell did not see this blatant low blow from Sydney Sky.

Sydney dominating the two male Canadians in the match. She grabbed Jacob by his hair, as Mr. Helmsley was still holding his genitals. Syd connecting with forearms towards Jake, backing up into the ropes. Ms. Sky whips Jacob into the ropes. Jacob slings off the ropes heading back at Sydney with tremendous amounts of speed. Syd leaps in the air, and connects her leg right in his chest with the Spinning Heel Kick. Jake goes down like a sack of potatoes. Sydney crawls over top of Jacob for the pin attempt.

One...

Two-Xero drops an elbow on Sydney's head. Xero grabs Sydney by her head, and lifts her on to her feet. Xero picks up the dazed Sydney, and slams her down with the scoop slam. Xero looks towards the turnbuckles, and proceeds to walk over there.

Axis: Xero looking to inflict some damage on Sydney Sky.

Xero jumps on the top turnbuckle, as the fans inside the Drome building stand up to their feet. Jake slowly gets up to his feet, and puts all of his weight into the ropes. Xero loses his balance, and falls on the top turnbuckle.

Xero: Son of a...

Edwin: My god! The pain that must be in Xero.

Jacob slowly moves towards Xero which he is still sitting on the top turnbuckle. Jacob climbs up the turnbuckles, stopping on the second rope. He puts Xero's right arm behind his head, and grabs his right leg. From there, Jacob falls backwards landing the Top-Rope Fisherman's suplex on Xero.

Axis: What a high risk maneuver by Jacob Helmsley.

King: This is for sure to finish the match.

Referee Matthew Kivell starts the pin fall attempt.

One...

Two...

Thr-Sydney breaks up the pin count. Xero rolls out of the ring, leaving Jacob and Sydney inside the ring. Sydney stomps on the chest of Jacob, backing him up into the corner. While in the corner, Sydney grabs Jacob by his hand and violently whips him towards the adjacent turnbuckles. Jacob reverses the whip, and sends Ms. Sky towards the turnbuckles instead. Jacob runs towards the turnbuckles also. Sydney grabs a hold of the top ropes, and slings over the charging Jacob Helmsley. Jacob runs right into the pole, shoulder first. Jacob steps backwards, holding his shoulder in pain. Jake turns around facing the beautiful Sydney Sky. Syd leaps on to Jacob's shoulders, and ties up her legs around Jake's neck. Sydney falls backwards hitting a Hurricanrana.

Axis: Hurricane by Sydney Sky.

Syd makes the cover, as Xero starts to climb up the turnbuckles.

One...

Xero stands on the top turnbuckle looking towards Sydney and Jacob Helmsley.

Two...

Xero springs off the turnbuckles. Sydney moves out of the way, stopping the pin count. Jacob still lying on the mat though. Xero connects with the Top Rope Frog Splash right on Jacob Helmsley.

Edwin: Sydney was very aware to see that Splash coming a mile away.

King: Uh....Sydney....*starts drooling*

Edwin: Like King said earlier "I am glad that I'm behind this desk".

Xero goes for a pin count on Jake this time.

One...

T-Sydney lowers the knee on Xero's spine, forcing Xero to get up off the pin fall. Xero slowly rising to his feet, as Sydney is trying to hammer Xero back down on the canvas with strong punches.

Edwin: HE'S HULKING UP!!!

King: Wrong fed you ass-

Xero stands up to his 6'1 height, and looks down towards Sydney. Xero clutches his right hand and throws a strong hook knocking Sydney back towards the ropes. Xero starts dishing out left and right hand kidney shots towards Syd. Sydney falling down to the canvas leaning up against the bottom rope. Jacob slowly gets to one knee, and sees Xero stomping on Sydney's abdomen. Jacob walks over towards Xero, and helps Xero stomp on Sydney too.

Jacob: Don't mess with me you little bitch.

Axis: Jacob is not only physically assaulting Sydney Sky, but also verbally assaulting her too.

Edwin: Now this is man slaughting. Its disgusting.

King: Why are Xero and Jake so physical against Sydney? I'll tell you. They are Canadian. All of those damn Canadians are very sensitive and psychopathic people, hence Jacob and Xero. Plus have you seen Canadian women. They grow a beard of their own, and don't shave their legs.

Axis: I think I just lost my lunch.

Edwin: Man that ain't just right.

King: And that damn word, eh. What is eh?, y'all.

Both Jacob and Xero lift the Ms. on to her feet. A double team Irish whip by the Canucks send Sydney towards the ropes. Sydney launches off the ropes with more speed. Xero and Jake link each others arms, attempt the double team clothesline. Sydney ducks the on coming clothesline, and heads towards the ropes. Sydney slings off the ropes again, as both the men turn around. Ms. Sky leaps into the air and does a split dropkick, knocking Jake and Xero down on the canvas. Sydney grabs Xero by his head and moves on over towards the ropes. Sydney pulls the top rope down, and with all of her weight, throws Xero out of the ring. Mr. Simon lands right near the commentators table.

Axis: Xero almost landed right on our laps.

Edwin: That was close.

King: Too close for me. Though he didn't hit the table, which I was disappointed.

Edwin: Same here.

King: No...You were disappointed that Xero didn't land right on you.

Jacob slowly gets up to his feet, as Syd rushes towards him. As Sydney drew nearer to Jacob, Jacob ducks down, and grabs Syd by her legs, lifting her high in the air. Jake releases Sydney, as her throat lands on the top rope. Sydney holding her breath and desperate for some fresh air after that Rope drop. Syd holding her throat, and has her back turned against Jacob. Jacob walks up behind Sydney and locks his arms around her waist.

Axis: Jacob is going to do something big here.

Edwin: Is Jake horny?

Axis: Well executed German Suplex by the Crazy Canuck.

Jacob Helmsley still has the reverse waist lock locked in on Sydney. Jacob gets back to his feet an does another German Suplex. Jacob a bit tired, but still has the hold on. Slowly, Jake gets back up to his feet, and another German Suplex, and another German by the Canadian. Jake still has the hold on, as Sydney is almost out cold. Jacob does another German Suplex, and let going of the hold. Sydney lying motionless, as Jacob slowly takes his time to make a lateral press. Referee Matthew Kivell starts the pin count.

One...

Xero slowly rolls himself in the ring.

Two...

Xero gets up to his feet, and sprints towards Jacob.

Thre-...Jacob moves out of the way, as Xero drops the knee on Sydney's beautiful face.

King: HER BEAUTIFUL FACE!!!

Sydney holds her face, as Jacob starts to throw overhand punches on to Xero's skull. Xero backs up into the ropes. Jacob smacks a right hand chop across the chest of Xero. The fans scream "Whoooo!". Mr. Helmsley reaches over and twists Xero's wrist controlling his body. Violently, Jacob throws Xero into the ropes. Xero rebounds off the ropes gaining tons of speed. Jacob extends his arm out for a clothesline, hoping to behead Xero. Xero dodges the stiff arm of Jacob and goes to the ropes. Xero rebounds off the ropes, and heads towards Jacob at full speed. Jacob quickly pivots, as Xero springs up onto Jake's shoulders, entwines his legs around his neck, and brings him back down with a Head Scissors Take Down. Jacob grabs on to the middle rope shaking his, what just happened. Sydney slowly gets up to her feet, as Jacob gets up to his as well. Mr. Helmsley sprints towards Xero. Sydney stands right behind Xero still doesn't know where she is at. Sydney slowly turns around, as Xero ducks at the last second. Jacob misses Xero with a clothesline, but almost breaks the neck off of Sydney instead.

Edwin: What a stiff lariat by the psychopathic bastard.

Sydney lies down on the canvas. Xero quickly spins around, and sees Jake looking down at Sydney, with a big smirk on his face.

Axis: Do you think Jacob actually intend to hurt Sydney?

Edwin: I think he meant to hurt Xero, but Sydney got in the way.

King: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ITS ALL XERO'S FAULT!!! DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!!

Axis: Chill before you put yourself in a hospital man.

Edwin: Why was it his fault?

King: Cause...He hurt her.

Edwin: Right...

Jake looks back up towards Xero and only sees a size 14 hurdling at his face. Jacob gets knocked right over the ropes, and lands on the mats outside of the ring.

Axis: Wow! What a great Superkick by Xero.

Edwin: Xero's kicks are as strong as a mule.

Jacob holding his jaw after that kick, seeing if its still attached. He rubs his fingers along his teeth to see if any teeth were knocked out, and there wasn't. Xero grabs a hold Syd's hair, and slowly pick her up to her feet. Xero sticks Sydney's between his legs. He hooks her arms, as he is setting up for a variation of a Power bomb.

Axis: Xero looking to finish off Sydney here folks, I don't think she can last any longer.

Xero lifts Sydney up to his shoulders, and lets go of hooking her arms. While Xero has Sydney up on her shoulders, Sydney starts to throw punches towards Xero's face. Sydney wraps her legs around Xero's neck, and brings him down with another Hurricanrana. Sydney sits on top of Xero's chest for the pin attempt.

One...

Two...

Thre-NO!! Xero manages to raise up a shoulder.

Edwin: Where did Sydney find strength to pull off that wicked reversal?

Axis: No clue, Edwin.

Sydney gets up to her feet, as Xero is still lying down on the mat. Jacob climbs up the steel stairs, and heads into the ring. Syd turns her attention to the psycho Jacob Helmsley. Jacob stands in the ring, while Xero is slowly creeping back to the corner. Sydney quickly glances at Xero scampering to the corner. Both Sydney and Jacob look towards each other eye to eye. Both of them circles around the ring waiting for someone to make the first strike.

Axis: You can feel your heart pounding, both of them wanting to tear each other hearts apart.

Edwin: Jacob would love to get h-

Axis: A ROLL UP BY XERO!

One...

Sydney rushes over towards Xero

Two...

Thre-NO! Sydney does a dropkick on Xero's back.

King: Nice move by Xero.

Axis: Jacob had no idea Xero would have done a roll up. Xero saw the opportunity to win the match, and almost did.

Jacob is surprise that Xero almost won the match with the sneaky roll up. Sydney grabs a hold of Xero's skull, and turns him around facing her. She slings over Xero's arm behind her head, and quickly does a snap suplex on Xero. Sydney makes the cover on top of Xero.

One...

Jacob gets up to his feet.

Two...

Thre-NO!!! Jacob pushes Ms. Sky off of the veteran Xero.

Edwin: Everybody are having near falls lately.

Axis: Jacob is throwing some right hands towards Sydney Sky, knocking her straight back into the ropes.

Jacob grabs Syd by her wrist. With all of his strength, Jacob lashes the lovely Sky into the ropes. Sydney regains some speed from the ropes, but runs right into a size 16 boot of Jacob Helmsley. Sydney goes down on the canvas hard. Jacob bends down and clutches his hand onto Sydney's hair, bringing her back to her feet. Jacob locks in a front face lock on Sydney hoping to inflict some damage on the beautiful Sydney Sky. Jacob drives Sydney down with a strong DDT.

Axis: THE EVENFLOW!!!

King: Its gotta be over, I mean her head went straight to the canvas. I think she might have a concussion.

Jacob is slowly to move and make for the cover. Jacob being a little cocky doesn't put any weight over her body, and slightly lifts up her leg. Referee Matthew Kivell goes for the pin count.

One...

Xero slowly rises to his feet.

Two...

Three-NO!!!! Sydney amazingly lifts up her shoulder.

Axis: HOLY!!!

King: If Jacob wasn't lazy, he would have put an effort for a decent cover.

Jacob pounds the canvas with his hand, pissed off that the count wasn't faster. Matthew Kivell tells Jacob that it was only a two count. Jake in frustration grabs Sydney by her hair, and walks over towards the ropes. Mr. Helmsley pulls down the top rope, and throws Sydney out of the ring, and to the outside. Xero up to his feet standing across the ring from Jacob Helmsley. Jacob still looks down at Sydney Sky, as Xero walks up behind Mr. Helmsley. Xero turns Jacob around and starts throwing Right hand punches towards the face. Xero grabs a hold of Jacob's hand, and whips him towards the ropes. Helmsley counters, as he extends his left arm out, nearly beheading Xero.

Edwin: I think I saw Xero's head in the fifth row.

King: Finally, you learned how to use a figure of speech.

Axis: When you are lying down on your back, you really get to see how big the arena is.

Xero shaking his head, wondering where the hell is he, after that brutal clothesline. Jacob grabs Xero's arm, and pulls him back to his feet. Xero standing up, dazed. Mr. Helmsley runs back towards the ropes. He rebounds off the ropes, as Xero grabs Jacob around his waist. Xero struggles to lift Jacob in the air the first time. Xero lifts his knee up, and drives the knee into the stomach of Jacob. Xero tosses Mr. Helmsley over top of him, with the Belly to Belly Suplex.

Axis: Terrific suplex by the veteran Xero.

Edwin: Xero isn't moving at all after the suplex. It seems like it drained a lot of energy to make the suplex.

King: Look at Sydney up in the turnbuckles.

Sydney stands tall on the top turnbuckles, looking at both men lying down on the mat. Sydney closer towards Jacob Helmsley though, as she blows a kiss towards the fans. Sydney turns around on the top turnbuckle, looking away from the mat. She jumps off the top turnbuckle, making a flip, and connects with a brilliant Moonsault.

Axis: MOONSAULT!!!

King: Sydney looking to finish Jacob off for two nights in a row.

Mr. Kivell will go down for the pin count.

One...

Xero slowly raises to his feet.

Two...

Three-NO!!! Xero grabs a hold of Sydney's legs and drags her off of Jacob Helmsley.

Axis: Folks if you just tuned in, this is not an elimination style triple threat, so that's why Xero pulled Sydney off.

Xero still has a hold of Sydney's legs. Xero stands in the middle of the ring, facing towards the turnbuckles. Xero falls backwards, throwing Sydney towards the turnbuckles. Syd lands chest first in the turnbuckles, and staggers out of the turnbuckles. Xero quickly glances at Sydney, and throws a Back Heel Kick towards the jaw of Sydney. Ms. Sky goes down like bricks, as Xero makes the cover, and raising his leg high up in the air.

One...

Two...

Three-NO!!!! Jacob makes the save, before the ref hit the mat for one last time.

King: Geez..no one is willing to give themselves up.

Edwin: All of them want respect and hopefully to get a world title shot. This match means something for them.

King: This match doesn't entertain me.

Edwin: To me it does.

Axis: I rather see Ash and Tom Flesher go at it, which will be up after this match.

Jacob grabs Xero by his head, and forces him right up to the turnbuckles. Jacob clutches his fist and throws a right hand punch so strong, that almost knocked Xero over the top rope. Jacob extends his arm out fully, and forces Xero over the ropes, as he comes down crashing on to the mats. Mr. Helmsley focus back towards Sydney who is just getting brutally beating between the two men. Jake walks up towards Sydney, but in desperation, Sydney throws a harmless punch to Jacob's ribs. Jacob grabs Sydney head, and puts it between his legs. Jacob grabs Sydney by her waist, and lifts her up to his shoulders.

Edwin: Powerbomb?

Axis: Jacob looks like he is going to finish Sydney off with the Black Stallion.

Jacob lets Sydney drapes from his shoulders, having her head hang towards the mat. Jacob goes down towards the knees, as Sydney lands right on the back of her neck.

Edwin: That's sickening!

Jacob makes the cover on to Sydney who lays their motionless.

King: This is over, I'm leaving for a bathroom break.

One...

Xero puts Sydney's leg on to the bottom rope.

Two...

Thre-NO!!! Matthew Kivell sees Sydney's leg is touching the bottom rope.

Axis: Jake is peeved. He had it won, but Xero made a sly move, placing Sydney's leg on the bottom rope. What a bastard.

Xero slides in the ring, as Jacob goes nuts and starts throwing a flurry of punches towards Xero. Xero backed into the corner, having no place to go. Mr. Helmsley lifts up the veteran Xero to the top turnbuckle, placing him their. Jacob slowly gets climbs the turnbuckles, and goes for the superplex. Xero blocks the Superplex from Jacob, as Mr. Helmsley goes for it again. Xero blocks Jacob from preventing another Superplex. Xero throws a few kidney shots towards the stomach of Jacob. Jacob releases Xero's pants, and falls to the canvas. Xero stands up tall on the turnbuckle, as the fans stand up on their feet too. Xero leaps off the top turnbuckle, flipping in the air, and landing with the Shooting Star Press.

Axis: ABSOLUTE XERO!!!

Xero makes the cover on Jacob Helmsley, and hooks the leg high up in the air. Mr. Kivell goes down to the mat, and starts the pin count.

One...

Two...

Three...

Matthew Kivell signals for the bell, as this match is over. *Ding Ding Ding*

Funyon: Your winner of this match, XERO!!!

Mr. Kivell raises Xero's hand high in the air, as he heads towards the turnbuckles. "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden is being played, as Xero stands tall on the second turnbuckles. Sydney rolls out of the ring, barely conscious, as Jacob looks up in disbelief. Xero does a belt around his waist taunt, before he steps down from the turnbuckles.

Axis: Xero wants a shot at that belt by the looks of it. If he does, he's gotta face the champion, Tom Flesher or the competitor, Ash Ketchum if he wants that belt.

The camera shot changes as we see Tom Flesher standing with his Title Belt around his waist, waiting for the next match inside his locker room.

Axis: Fletcher. Ketchum. Next on Metal.

*Screen fades to black.*

May 9, 2002

In a flurry of light and sound, SJL Metal ZOOOOOOOOOOMS back to the Drome in Springfield in the beautiful state of... ummm... where are we again? IT DOESN’T MATTER! However, back to the show. The drones file in from the concession stands and bathrooms just in time to see the MAIN EVENT! Who will come out on top? Will Edwin piss off King AGAIN? And what is with the guy in the third row with that damn “WWF 0WNZ J00!!!” sign?

Axis: ...Aaaaaaaand welll-come back to SJL Metal! Joined by Commissioner Edwin MACPHISTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ...and the Suicide King... I’m-

King: A really crazy and gay Aussie named Axis. We all know. Thanks for coming out of the closet. Now go hang out with Cutthroat. He’s waiting in the back for you and wants you to squeeze his red man-boobs.

Edwin: Awww... that was mean...

King: SHUT UP! I hope you’re happy, panda hugger. You screwed McMahon out of billions!

Edwin: I’m not in the World Wildlife Foundation...

King points to Mr. Fuzzums, clutched in Edwin’s arms.

King: GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION!!!!

Axis: Come on you two...

Edwin: But back to the WWE... wasn’t McMahon ALWAYS stealing our ideas, and we were waiting to get him back? Isn’t this the almighty revenge that we’ve always wanted? Isn’t this the shining moment where each SJLer and SWFer can look up at the might Vince McMahon and laugh in his face and say “Ha ha?” ISN’T IT??

All three remain silent for a second.

King: Gosh... never thought about it like that...

Axis: Ummmm... Edwin... the WWF helped spawn the SWF by popularizing pro wrestling...

Edwin: I... DON’T... CARE!!! I’M GONNA PROVE MY POINT!

Just then Edwin is temporarily cut off as the lights go out, the sold-out Springfield crowd rising to its feet.

Edwin: YES!!!! THIS IS IT!!!

Edwin grabs Axis by the shoulders and shakes him as he overreacts… like he usually does.

Axis: Almost time to go home… almost time to go home…

Just then, the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping the crowd up as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance, like Christian’s entrance. But then, as the first words begin, the pyro in front of the entrance stops, a spotlight shining onto the stage, shining off Ash, who is in a Jericho-like pose. The crowd pops like there’s no tomorrow as the see the Poke Freak. Misty is on his left side, wearing a sexy pink string bikini, her hair pulled back into it’s usual ponytail on the left side with a pink scrunchie, gold chain ankle bracelet on her left ankle, her arms on her hips smiling as Ash spins around from his Jericho pose and walks halfway down the ramp. Stopping his walking, Ash brings his right arm up straight in the air quickly and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right hand. At this point, five red pyro blasts shoot up from the stage in unison, right where the original pyro was. Ash and Misty release themselves from their poses and go down to ringside, Ash slapping hands with the fans and getting pumped up as a video of clips from his best IGNWF, JL, and ML matches plays on the SmarkTron.

Funyon: And his opponent: Being accompanied by Misty, from Pallet Town… weighing in at 255 pounds… he is a member of X FORCE NINE… ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMM!!!!!

He walks up to the cage door, climbs up onto the apron, and after helping Misty in, enters the cage, removing his Jeff Jarrett-style sunglasses. Ash climbs the turnbuckle closest to the crowd and takes off his shirt, whipping it over the cage wall and into the first two or three rows of the crowd, giving a lucky fan a souvenir to take home. Ash then hops off the turnbuckle as Misty exits the cage. Well duh... she’s not in the match. A shmuck, though Ash fan, second row, catches it, and he gives Ash a big thumbs up, happy to have something of his idol’s. Ash responds back with a thumbs up of his own and a bonus wink, then turns back around as the crowd chants his name, almost deafening in amplitude …

Crowd: ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!!

Edwin: YAY!!!! ASH IS HERE!!!

King: Hush, dumbass.

Axis: A bit harsh there, King-

King: At least I’m not Cutthroat’s mistress-er-um-dude...

Axis: Now wait just a second...

As Ash turns around, the arena goes dark. Over the PA, the opening strains of the Doors' "Tell All The People" start to play. A large X of Pyro sprays out across the curtain, and as Jim Morrison sings "Tell all the people that you see... follow me...." The World Champion Tom Flesher walks through the curtain posing for the crowd. He struts to the ring confidently in rhythm to the song. When he gets to the ring, he drops into a double biceps pose and a pillar of pyro explodes from each cornerpost as Funyon begins to announce his name.

Funyon: Aaaaand from Buffalo, New York-

Suddenly, Flesher walks up to Funyon and snatches the mic away, beginning to speak in his New Yorker accent, though slight.

Flesher: Weighing in at a colossal 213 pounds... he is the SWF WORLD CHAMPION... THE UNSTOPPABLE MONSTER... THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE... GOD’S GIFT TO THE SJL... THE NEXT-BIG-THING... THE LIVING LEGEND... THE SUPERIOR ONE!!!!!... (He calms down, turning to scan the booing audience.) Tom... Flesher...

The crowd boos louder as Flesher finishes, tossing the mic back in the face of Funyon, who makes a great catch! Ash scowls at Flesher, for he has called himself “The Next Big Thing”, a title reserved for the Undercard King himself.

King: i’ll tell you what... this man is AMAZING! He reminds me of... me. A younger me... but me none the less... me, me, me, me, me...

Axis: As we can all see...

Edwin: Though Ash, as of late, seems to remind himself... (Edwin turns to face King.) Of me...

Axis: So, this would essentialy be King vs. Edwin?

King: It seems so...

Edwin: Yeah... at least a precursor...

The two men turn to face each other, Ash looking tough angry, Flesher confident as he flexes in front of Ash and makes goofy faces, only driving the uncontrollable Ketchum deeper and deeper into anger...

King: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, CHAMP???

Axis: Oh, a bit on concern?

King: I may be vicious and cynical... but trust me... I’d never do that sh*t to Edwin... you always attack first, intimidate later.

Edwin: So?

King: Flesher keeps this up, he’ll get his ass whooped, and worse, lose my respect.

Slowly, referee Timothy Thompson signals to the timekeeper, only after instructing both men in the match rules, and as the timekeepr reaches across the table...

DING DING DINGGGGG!!!

The last tone seems to hold out longer as the two men slowly begin to circle each other, neither wanting to make the first mistake. The circle tightens closer and closer until the men take a step forward, each thrusting their arms out and entangling in a grapple. Straining to gain control, both men push against the other, but the lighter Flesher somehow gains control, forcing Ketchum down into a side headlock. Flesher tightens the hold, squeezing the breath out of Ash, but Ketchum slowly draws his arm back, slamming it forward into the ribs of Flesher, causing him to release the hold. Flesher staggers forward a step as Ash recovers, but Tom turns right back around, grabbing Ketchum’s arm and pulling, attempting to whip him to the ropes. As he does, though, Ash counters the move, stopping himself and pulling Tom toward him, extending his arm out for a clothesline that Flesher easily ducks under. As Flesher pops up on the other side of Ash, he tugs Ash, attempting to copy Ash’s maneuver, but as Tom extends his arm out, Ash ducks under it, spinning Flesher around to face him and tugging to whip him to the ropes. Flesher reverses-no, wait-Ketchum reverses the reversal, whipping Tom toward him and dropping down, sliding under Tom. Popping up on the other side, Ash hooks the arm of Flesher, lifting him abruptly into the air for a pumphandle slam, but as he lifts Tom onto his shoulder, Flesher slips off behind him, grabbing him around the waist as he lands on his feet. Ketchum immediately elbows Flesher in the head, causing him to release the hold.

Axis: They’re bouncing back and forth like luchadors!!!

Edwin: It’s like Pong!

As Flesher stands there stunned, Ketchum hooks his leg back, hitting Flesher in the head with an amazing standing hook kick! Flesher drops down hard onto the mat as the crowd gets into the match. As Flesher hits the mat and Ketchum remains standing, Flesher spins, swinging his leg around and connecting with the back leg of Ash Ketchum, flipping him onto his back with a leg sweep. Ketchum falls onto the mat gently, and both men slowly get to their feet, the crowd roaring into a combined chant of "E-C-Dub!" and "S-J-L!"

Axis: What a beginning to a match that has been anticipated for almost a week!

Edwin: INDEED!!! I wish Cardboard Comet were here to see this...

King: If I were you, I'd shut up, panda hugger. You've done enough damage to pro wrestling already...

As both men slowly stare each other down, they burn holes into the eyes of each other, but with a sudden move, Flesher breaks the hypnotic stare, diving at the leg of Ash Ketchum and grabbing it, tackling him hard to the mat and taking him down with a single leg take down. Ash slams hard onto his back, but Flesher quickly flips Ash onto his chest, and grabbing his left foot, he pulls Ash back toward him, lifting the ankle up and twisting it into a painful ANKLE LOCK, wrestling's most OVERUSED move!

Axis: It's the-

Edwin: ANKLE LOCK OF DOOM!!!!! I'm sure King enjoys this…

King: I do, Edwin.

Edwin: Yeah… except it's weak.

King: WEAK?

As Flesher applies the dangerous lock on Ash Ketchum, Ketchum cries in pain, desperately trying to pull himself away, hands grasping the canvas as he tries to pull away, but suddenly, he opts out of escaping and pushes himself back toward Flesher. What seems stupid makes sense a second later as Ash begins to push himself off his feet, Flesher forced to follow suit and he keeps trying to twist the ankle. Ash grits his teeth in pain, but his will perseveres, allowing him to get onto one foot. Then, in one quick move, he hops off the foot, landing facing Flesher, and leaping off that foot, flips back, drills Flesher under the chin with the toes of his boot, flipping as Flesher releases the leg and falls back, landing on his feet as he finishes off the frontflip enziguri! Flesher sits right back up, taking the punishment as he gets up, bent over and grabbing his jaw, but suddenly, Ash grabs Tom around the head, lifting Flesher up and dropping back, nailing him with an inverted DDT! Tom drops onto the mat cold, but Ash rolls him onto his back, covering him for a quick pinning attempt!

One…

Two…

TH-NO!!! FLESHER KICKS OUT! The crowd sighs in despair as their hero is tossed off Flesher.

King: Ash Ketchum has better say his prayers, take his vitamins, and try again next time.

Axis: King, this isn’t over-

King: And I couldn’t care less if it was. I must go home to my BEAUTIFUL SWF World Title Replica Belt all us champions have. I suspect neither of you have one…

Ketchum grabs Flesher, grabbing him as he gets up, both acending as the crowd cheers for more Ash offense. Ketchum responds, grabbing Flesher’s arm and whipping the champion to the ropes. As the ropes flex under Tom’s weight and shoots him back toward Ash, Ketchum extends his forearm out. “POW!” The forearm smashes across the forehead of Tom Flesher, dropping him to the mat as Ash imitates The Hurricane with the MIGHTY FOREARM SMASH!!!! However, forearm smashes are not forever, and Flesher readily recovers from the blow, grabbing his forehead and staggering about. Ketchum takes this opportunity to drop down, sliding Flesher onto his shoulders. In a split second, Flesher is swung over Ketchum’s right shoulder, head lodged between Ash’s legs as Ketchum drops to the mat with a thunderous “BOOM!” as the ring shakes like an earthquake just hit Springfield, Ketchum dropping Flesher early with an amazing cradle Samoan driver!

Edwin: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW DRII-VERRR!!!! Ash’s specialty move has done it again!

King: Are you saying it;s over, peon? Because the King says nay to that...

As Ash releases Flesher, he grabs his legs, holding him for a quick pinning attempt as the ref drops to the mat to make the count...

One...

Two...

TH-AMAZING!!! FLESHER KICKS OUT Of THE MEW DRIVER!!! Everyone thought the match was over, and a collecting groan echoes throughout the arena, which includes Edwin as King boasts.

King: Ha. I was correct. Bow down and worship the ground I walk on...

Edwin: Um... how about a popsicle from the mini-fridge?

King: Mini-fridge?

Edwin Yeah, it’s under the table.

Ketchum slowly grabs Flesher, pulling him up onto his feet as he punds away with closed right fists, but as Ash grabs Flesher and pulls him up those last few feet, Flesher counters, kneeing Ash in the chest to cause him to release the hold. As Ash looks up, Flesher drops down, extending his legs out as he dropkicks Ash Ketchum in the knee! Flesher hits the mat as Ketchum grabs his knee and hops around in pain, turning his back to Tom. Bad decision, as Tom hops onto his feet. Flesher promptly pulls up behind Ash, waistlocking him, and lifting him off his feet, lifts him high into the air, dropping him onto his neck with a German suplex! Ketchum lands hard on his neck, but he rolls onto his feet and gets back up as Flesher recovers from the move.

King: Money! Flesher’s back in this!

Axis: Ketchum is the stronger man, though, King, so don’t count him out...

King: Flesher may not be strong, but at least he has a brain...

Ketchum staggers onto his feet, right towards Tom, who counters with a huge kick to Ash’s chest. Ketchum stops, lets out a groan of pain and bends over, but Flesher is quick to act, grabbing Ash from behind and lifting him up, up over his shoulder, and quickly, almost at a 90 degree angle, Flesher sharply drops Ash onto his neck, slamming him to the mat with a high angle belly to back suplex called the Backdrop Driver! Ash’s head bounces hard off the mat as Flesher turns around on the mat, quickly hooking Ash’s leg for a pinning attempt!

One...

Two... No dice! Ketchum kicks out! Flesher sits up as Ketchum remains on the mat, breathing heavily as he still attempts to recover from the move. Tom, though, isn’t tired, and that’s what counts.

Edwin: What’s gotten into Flesher? What’s with the sudden resurgence of power?

King: I told you... he’s a great champion, and all great champions can do that... like me.

Axis: Everything always goes back to King...

Edwin: Like some freaky loop of chaos...like the money cycle...

Edwn shudders after his obscure comment, while in the ring, Flesher has gotten onto his feet. He turns around though, and extending his arms out, falls forward, head slamming into Ash’s chest with a standing diving headbutt, Benoit-style. Ketchum grabs his chest, gritting his teeth in great pain. Flesher doesn’t give a shit, though, and he gets back up, quickly extending an elbow out as he drops to the mat, delivering a massive elbow drop to Ketchum’s chest. Ash once more writhes in pain as Flesher recovers, but Tom soons unveils his new plan. Getting up, he grabs hold of both of Ash’s legs, rolling him onto his back, and stepping over, he sits down, pulling back on Ash with a Boston crab! Ketchum cries in pain, but he quickly twists his body, pulling himself closer to the ropes and increasing his own pain. He gets closer and closer, but Tom tries to hold him back.

Axis: Ketchum may know what he’s doing here...

King: He’s too far away. He won’t get it.

Edwin: No way. Mr Fuzzums says Ash reaches it.

As soon as Edwin says that, Ash reaches out again, and this time, his fingers glance the ropes, forcing the ref to call for a rope break. Tom releases Ash’s legs, looking up at the ref. He yells at him, screaming, then turns and exits the ring, just plain frustrated.

Edwin: I told you-

King: Shut up, panda hugger!

Flesher makes his way through the ropes and to Funyon, pulling his chair out from under him and folding it up. Meanwhile, Ash gets up in the ring, grabbing his ankle in pain, but still getting up.

Axis: What the-

Flesher and chair both re-enter the ring under the bottom rope, Flesher getting onto his feet as Ash turns around. Sensing she has a responsibility, Mist leaps up onto the apron and tries to enter the ring. The ref goes over to stop her, facing away from Tom as he brings the chair over his head. “CRACK!” The chair slams into Ash’s head, causing him to drop like a ton of bricks. The crowd boos louldy at the dirty deed/

Axis: ASH JUST GOT SCREWED!!!

Flesher does not drop the chair, but... waits for the bell? When he doesn’t hear it, he looks over at the ref, who is watching Misty leave the ring to make sure she doesn’t interfere. Flehser ANGRILY stomps over there and taps the ref on the shoulder, holding up the un-dented chair and pleading his case to the ref that he just nailed Ash with it.

Axis: What’s he doing?

Edwin: He’s getting himself DQed!

Axis: How cheap...

King: He’ll lose, but he’ll keep his title. Genius!

As Tom argues with referee Tim Thompson, their argument gets louder, the ref telling Tom he didn’t see it. Flesher begins to scream and the ref yells back, signaling the timekeeper the match is still on, the crowd responding with huge cheers as Tom slams the chair into the mat, the ref discarding of it as Flesher stomps off like a two-year old.

Axis: And Tom loses the argument!

Edwin: Misty must have seen this coming, so she distracted the ref to make sure Ash didn’t lose! What a great idea! Even if Ash did take a shot to the head...

King: Referee, you are pathetic. DQ HIM!!!

Flesher notices that Ash is still down, lying on his back, prone to attack. Running back, Flesher bounces off the ropes, shooting himself at Ash. As he nears Ash, he does a front somersault, landing on his feet in front of Ash. In what has been seen done by RVD a million times before, Flesher flips forward, flipping into a somersault senton, but Ash puts a knee up, causing Flesher to hit the knee instead and bounce off that! Flesher dorps to the mat, grabbing his back in pain as Ash slowly gets to his feet.

Edwin: Ah! It seems Ash Ketchum is not done yet!

Another ding comes from under the table. Edwin looks underneath to see what’s up.

Edwin: Ah! My French toast is ready!

Axis: A toaster? how do you fit it all under there, Edwin?

Edwin: With some MACPHISTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAGIC!

King: More like gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay magic.

As Ketchum gets to his feet, Flesher follows suit, grabbing his back and getting to his feet. As Flesher ges up, he is bent over, and Ash fully manipulates that, leaping itno the air as he swings one leg up and down, then the other, swinging into a sicssors kick to the back of Tom’s head that floors him... the Air Ketchum Deux!Axis: AIR KETCHUM DEUX!!! More than likely, he ‘s setting up for something big!

As Ash recovers, he leans back and runs back to the nearest ropes, bouncing off them and flying at Tom, doing a front somersault that rolls him up to Flexxx's body.

Rolling onto his feet, Ash springs into action, leaping into the air as he coils and uncoils his limbs, crashing on top of Tom's body with a rolling five-star frog splash! Ash bounces off Tom, landing and rolling onto his back and eventually onto his feet as he staggers up, staggering toward his corner as tom grabs his chest, slowly beginning to recover.

Axis: ROLLING FIVE STAR FROM ASH!

Edwin: The Poke Freak’s own innovative move.

King: Ash is just as much a freak as you are, MacFreak-o...

As Flesher recovers from the last move, he leaps up into the air, going for a quick dropkick to Ash, but Ketchum ducks down, Flesher’s legs landing on Ash’s back. Ash straightens back up, Flesher sliding down Ash’s back, but Ketchum quickly hooks Flesher’s arms, and with great force, Ash slams Flesher’s shoulders into the mat, dropping Flesher into a backslide pin!!!!

One...

Two...

TH-NO!!! FLESHER KICKS OUT! The two men fall away from each other, and as Flesher gets up, he realizes his arm is still hooked with Ash’s.

Axis: What’s going on? Why are they still hooked?

Axis’ question is promptly answered as Ash Ketchum tugs, pulling Tom back toward him, and grabbing Tom around the head, drops back, snapping into a DDT! Flesher’s head bounces hard off the canvas, and as a result, he bounces hard onto his back, remaining there as Ketchum gets up, getting onto his feet. Once there, he scans the arena, looking at all of the cheering fans.

Edwin: POKEMANIA IS IN FULL GEAR!!!!

Ketchum cups his ears to the crowd as Flesher lies immobilized, then he points to a Poke Freak, front and center, mimiving the great Hulk Hogan!

King: LOOK! He’s showing how high he can count!

Suddenly, Ash runs to the ropes, bucing off them, and on the rebound, he flies at Flesher, leaping into the air, falling in a sitting position and slamming Flesher across the throat with a HUGE LEG DROP!!! Flesher grabs his thorat as soon as he can, sitting up and gaspign for breath as Ketchum gets to his feet. Flesher dives for the ropes, entangling himself in them, and still breathless, pulls himself onto his feet, facing away from Ketchum as Ash turns to see Flesher, prone, practically screaming “HIT ME!!!” as a ding emanates from under the announcer’s table.

Edwin: Coffee’s done!

Axis: Edwin... why do you have a coffee maker under the table?

Edwin: The outlet’s under there.

Knowning this is his chance, Ketchum charges at Flesher, who turns around to seek revenge for that Hogan-sized leg drop. As Flesher looks up, Ketchum leaps at him, slamming into him as he attempts a Lou Thesz Press, the Poke Ball Press, but as Ash hits Flesher, the move knocks BOTH men over the top rope, hurtling them to the concrete below! Ash and Flesher both slam hard onto their backs, Ash landing near the apron and Flesher near the annoucer’s table. both men rest for a second as the ref begins the double count-out, but at one, Flesher reaches up, grabbing hold of the table and pulling himself up. Ash does the same, except on the ring apron.

Axis: WHAT A LOU THESZ PRESS! BOTH MEN GO OVER THE TOP ROPE!

As Flesher slowly recovers, King pulls out a small coffee cup with his name printed on it, filled to the brim with STEAMING HOT COFFEE. King smiles as he places it on his desk.

King: I knew this cheap piece of shit would come in handy.

Edwin: That’s the mug I gave you on Best Friend’s Day-

King slowly nudges the cup toward the edge of the table and toward Flesher.

Edwin: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

King: Nothing... mind your own business...

Flesher staggers over to the desk, grabbing the cup of joe and downing about a quarter of it. His cheeks puff as the dark brown liquid fills his mouth, Ketchum sliding back into the ring. Flesher turns and half-runs, sliding under the bottom rope and getting onto his feet. The referee notices Tom’s bulging cheeks as Ash gets to his feet, facing Flesher, but Tom puts his hand in front of the ref’s face, blocking him and shielding his face from what happens next.

Axis: Flesher is blocking the ref out!

As Ash looks up at Flesher, he spews out LUKE WARM JAVA. The stuff gets all over Ash’s face in a mist, and Ketchum somehow gets blinded, while a caffiene-charged Tom Flesher ducks down, shuffles his feet and thrusts his leg out into a superkick! The blow is off, glancing the side of Ketchum’s face and causing him to spin around, facing away from Tom as he waistlocks him. Lifting Ash up, Flesher heaves Ketchum up into the air, releasing him in mid throw and launching him over the top rope with a German suplex! Ketchum flies through the air, slamming hard into the steel railing with a sickening “THWUNK!” and “RATTLE!” whle Flesher gets up in the ring. Ketchum falls forward onto his chest as the ref slowly begins the count-out...

One... Ketchum is motionless as Flesher turns to look behind him.

Two... Flesher raises his hands into the air and laughs.

Axis: Look at him. What a cocky, cocky man.

Three... Flesher pumps his fist into the air and laughs sadistically while Ash slowly tries to crawl toward the ring apron.

King: But a winner and champion, peon! He’s KING OF THE SJL!

Four... Flesher turns to face the timekeeper and calls for his belt.

Axis: I feel sorry for Ash. So many times, so close... but it seems even the SJL had a glass ceiling...

Five... The timekeeper grabs the belt and throws it to Tom as the crowd boos loudly, Ketchum reaching the ring apron.

Edwin: Whadda gip. These people paid to see a good match.

Six... Flesher catches the World Title in his hand as a hand comes up onto the ring apron, followed by another, but Flesher misses the action behind his back, too concerned... with himself.

Seven... Flesher, with World Title in hand, climbs the turnbuckle to a chorus of boos as he raises the title up.

Eight.... Flesher closes his eyes, waiting to hear the sweet sound of the ring bell, signaling his total victory.

Edwin: BUT LOOK! IT’S THE LITTLE TRAIN THAT COULD! TOOT, TOOOOOOOT!!

Nine... All the meanwhile, Ash has dragged himself halfway onto the mat, and as the ref brings his hand down for ten, he stops! Ketchum crawls into the mat as the ref taps Flesher on the shoulder. Pointing to Ash, the ref tries to explain, but Flesher’s jaw drops. He then turns to the ref, screaming hysterically at him about how bad of a job he has done, backing poor Timothy Thompson into a corner. Tom’s comments rain down on Timothy like the boos rain down on him, but as Flesher glances back, he sees Ketchum on one knee, desperately trying to get up. Flesher stomps over to Ash, grabbing him across the back in a waistlock and lifting him up, possibly for a gutwrench suplex.

Axis: Tom Flesher doesn’t

King: And I’m not either! TIM THOMPSON IS BIAS!!!!

Edwin: No he’s not... he’s doing his job. Now do yours and jump up and down on this pogo stick!

King: What pogo stick?

Edwin pulls out a pogo stick from under the table.

Edwin: This one.

As Flesher lifts Ash up, he abruptly drops him on his head, nailing Ash with a side gutwrench driver! Ketchum falls limp to the mat after the move while Flesher remains sitting up.

Axis: EGO BUSTER!!!!

King: Pokemania’s just been deflated.

Edwin: Like a tire?

King: Like A Firestone Wilderness AT tire.

Edwin frowns at King’s comment while in the ring, Flesher grabs Ash, pulling up the seemingly unconscious dude so he stands on his feet. Then, grabbing Ash’s arm, Flesher whips him hard into the closest turnbuckle, Ketchum slamming against the pads of the turnbuckle and remaining motionless as Flesher charges at Ash, leaping at him just seconds before impact, flying into the air and crushing Ash in the corner with an avalanche! Ketchum is pinned between the two objects and remains there as Flesher bounces back about six inches. Now it is time to end this. To TRULY end this.

Axis: Flesher just has Ash right where he wants him...

Edwin: Well... I’d hate to say... but...

King: SAY IT!

Edwin: Why aren’t you jumping on the pogo stick like you’re supposed to, King?

King: Because... THAT’S NOT MY JOB!!!!!

Flesher, though, is doing his job, grabbing The Poke Freak and lifting him up onto the turnbuckle,Ketchum sitting like some cheap toy-store doll upon the top rope. Flesher then ascends himself, grabbing Ketchum around the head, setting him up for the inevitable: The Boilermaker, a super brainbuster that is sure to keep Tom champion.

But wait? What is this! Lo and behold! As Tom tries to lift Ash up... he can’t! Ash is grabbing the top rope to resist Tom’s move! Tom forcibly tries to remove the hands from the top rope,m but upon doing so, the bigger Ash pushes against Tom’s chest, shoving him from the top rope and onto his back as he slams into the mat, Ketchum alone on the top rope as the crowd cheers!

Axis: HOLD ON A SEC!!! This may not be over?

King: What?

Edwin: POKEMANIA’S BACK ON TRACK!!! TOOT, TOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Meanwhile, Ash, on the top rope, turns his back to flesher. As Flesher gets up and turns his head up and looks toward Ash, spotting him on the turnbuckle, Ash leaps off, twisting into a Phoenix Splash. Time seems to slow down as this happens. we can see Ash rotate top the left, spinning vertically and horizontally as well, turining to face tom in mid-air. As he flies through the air at great speed, he realizes this is his one chance. No mistakes can be made. This is it.

As he flies through the air, he extends his arm out at Flesher’s head and quickly grabs him around the neck. Just one thing left. Ash swings his legs forward, causing himself to fall back through the electricity and tension in the air, Flesher bending like a blade of grass. Then, there is a loud “SLAM!” and the entire ring sakes as Ketchum nails Flesher with a devastating spiked Phoenix Splash DDT! Both men hit the mat hard, but the blow causes Flesher to bounce wildly in the other direction, landing upon his back as Ash remains down, motionless as the crowd goes insane.

Axis: POKE BALL, GO!!!!! DEAR GOD! WHAT A COUNTER!

Ketchum slowly turns onto his belly as the ref begins the double count at one.

Edwin: A spectacular turn of events! Ketchum may have this in hand!

Ash claws toward Tom, glory and fame awaiting him, glory and fame too often denied to him. He closes in on Tom as the ref hits two.

King(hysterical): BUT THERE’S STILL THE COUNT-OUT!!!!

Edwin: I think he’ll make it...

King: NO HE WON’T! He... can’t! This can’t be happening!

The ref hits three, Ketchum inches away from golry, and suddenly, his hand hits Tom’s stomach! Just a few inches left to go!

King: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Just before the ref hits four, Ketchum finds the strength to pull himself on top of Tom, and slowly, he hooks Flesher’s leg, the ref sliding toward the two and dropping to the mat to make the count, the fans on their feet, counting along with the ref as one man is forever immortalized in sports-entertainment history…

One…

Two…

THREE!!!!

The bell rings, and those three dings are the sweetest sound Ash Ketchum has ever heard. More than his TV Title win, or either of his SJL Tag/Stables Titles wins. The crowd is on their feet, chanting his name in a standing ovation. Edwin has hopped over the desk and he is the first man to greet the new champion, who is still lying helplessly on his back. Ash’s girl, misty, is the next over, and while still on his back, the two kiss, only for a second. Meanwhile, both help Ash up as X Force Nine members our down the ramp. But not just them. Every damn face in the company. The Carnies, making a special trip just to see Ash wrestle, are along with the others, mixed in. But all are clapping as they walk down the ramp, Ketchum being helped onto his feet. Axis is also applauding as the crowd cheers louder, King’s head buried in his arms as he tries to ignore the whole damn thing. Ash stands on his feet as the men enter the ring, all facing Ash, smiles across their face. From the right side, Referee Tim Thompson hands Ketchum the belt. He looks a little lost at first, but Tim nods. Ash grasps hold of the belt, and as he does, not only does the crowd goes nuts once more, but he suddenly feels his feet pulled out from under him! He gets cared, but a few seconds later, he gains his bearings and relaizes he’s being hoisted on the shoulders of Chris Raynor and Z, the chants in the crowd growing louder and louder and louder still! The men parade him around the ring as the contingent follows, patting Ketchum on the back and shaking his hand. It is at this moment he hoists the World Title belt into the air, the crowd replying with a deafeaning cheer.

Axis: Ladies and gentlemen: I have seen so much in my career, but I have never seen such appreciation for what one man has done not just for the SWF and SJL but the world of sports entertainment in general. Over the past 11 years, Ash Ketchum has wrestled in many federations, and for a while, the SJL has been his home. And now, he is king of the castle in a way. I congratualte you, Ash Ketchum. This has been a long time coming, friend.

-----

Exactly one year and two months to this date, Ash Ketchum’s career begain on IGNML Metal. But tonight, it is his night. Because tonight, one person’s life has changed forever, one person who has worked harder and come so close so many times:

Ash Ketchum, SJL World Champion.

May 9, 2002

Singles Match

Ced Ordonez vs. Mafia

- Mafia does his James Bond movie thing!

Singles Match

Scott Reid vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

- A great first effort from two guys that came down to a word limit DQ. Reid wins. In the future, Mak, try not to go one thousand words over the prescribed word limit, eh?

Handicap Match

Insane Luchador/Poisyn vs. Cutthroat

- Team PIL with the win!

European Title #1 Contendership Match

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson vs. Frost

- Frost hurts TNT bad, and paramedics everywhere are happier that their jobs are more secure thanks to Frost!

European Title Match

- Can you say NEW EUROPEAN CHAMPION, Tod deKindes?

Singles Match

Z vs. Flexxx

- Flexx beats Z with a great match! Of course, it also helped that Z’s match was a hundred words over the limit. Tsk, tsk…

Triple Threat Match

Jacob Helmsley vs. Sydney Sky vs. Xero

- Xero wins! By default, granted, but a win nonetheless!

World Title Match

- Hell has officially frozen over. Ask Ketchum, YOUR SJL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Too many word limit violations this time guys. Watch it, because we do... don't stay up for the card, because the Suicide King is with his Queen tonight! I'll post it eventually.

Sjl metal, may 8th!

Recommended Posts

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Guest Suicide King

Share this post

Link to post

Share on other sites

Browse

Activity