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SMARKDOWN 1/10 WORKRATE REPORT~!

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Sitting in for Tom Flesher in today’s edition of the Smarkdown Workrate Report will be Tom Fleshmussen of the Burning Hammer Tape … Review (*sigh*).

 

As always, star ratings are based on the quality of the match, the direction and speed of the wind currently blowing on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, and how hungry Mr. Fleshmussen is at any given moment. As such they should be afforded no credence whatsoever.

 

Opening Promo

~ Way to fake out the audience, Taamo! No one expected you to use a completely nonsensical soundbite to intro “Kashmir,” and you confused everyone. Are you going to start using “The Soft Parade” as your theme now? “The Monk… bought… lunch! Yeah, he bought a little.”

 

So Flesher rambles on a while about wrestling and why he’s inexplicably in charge of a single show now. Remind me again who hired him? Um….

 

Okay, that’s not important. I like this whole “pure wrestling Smarkdown” thing, though. Although am I biased? Just a LITTLE~! Pretty good card he set up, although some of the matches (Sacred vs. Clark – why book Clark in a pure wrestling match?) seemed a little thrown-together. Why can’t the SWF sign some new talent, or at least make Marcus Washington get in the ring?

 

Dace Night Promo

~ Dace has… visa problems? Interesting, and a nice, solid way to explain his ins and outs as well as the fact that he’ll be out of the picture soon enough. On the other hand, he’ll be out of the picture soon enough. BOO!

 

Carnage vs. Todd Cortez

~ Cute start on this one, with Cortez getting down in the referee’s position. Not a bad little match, especially considering the time constraints. Cortez taking the victory by submission was a nice little choice, and as much as you’d think it would make the big lug look weak, it didn’t. Cortez impressed me tonight, what with his athletic ability (skinning the cat, wriggling out of the piledriver attempt) and showing off some of his wrestling skill. Carnage, meanwhile, didn’t need to be carried. He went out, did his thing and held his own. Nice job from these two workers. ** ½

 

Revolution Zero Promo

~ Did the job. Sacred: He’s EVIL~!

 

Pure Wrestling: Sacred vs. Alan Clark

~ Oh, this stip is SO stolen from Ring of Honor. Pardon me while I gag.

 

Okay, that’s better. I did expect better from Clark and Sacred, especially considering the Dusty Finish that ended with… the heel getting a win taken away from him, and then him going on to win anyway. That was weird. I was, however, happy to see that the stip didn’t rule the match, but the other way around. The wrestlers worked around it, in one of the few specialty matches that they’re able to. Solid wrestling, reasonable booking, ***.

 

Non-Title Match: “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. Kaine

~ Non-title because Kaine lost to Spike at Slay Ride. Methinks Taamo may have overused non-title tonight. It’s almost as if one of the non-title matches was hastily booked after the card had been finalized because one of the competitors had asked for work.

 

But I digress.

 

Dude, that ref has bosoms. Anyways, pretty quick match from these two, cementing what a lot of us have known for a long time: Spike Jenkins is poised to move up the card. God willing, these fools will quit holding him back and let him go after some higher gold. He’s almost turning the CW belt into a waistpiece like Tom Flesher’s. Too short for more than *, and could have been higher – but the finish was appropriate.

 

Mak Francis/Toxxic Promo

~ Toxxic/Mak: Like Toxxic/Flesher, only blacker!

 

USJL Title: Sean Davis vs. Manson

~ Joined in progress, or JIP. Say that out loud, folks. One big move from Davis finishes the match, and it’s unrateable. I’m starting to wonder if maybe Davis can’t keep up the pace.

 

Austin Sly Promo

~ Go Sly Guy! Good to see this goombah back, even if he’s INSANE~!

 

Non-Title Match: Wild & Dangerous vs. the Royal Order

~ This feels oddly familiar.

 

All in all, not a bad match, although I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just Wild and Dangerous celebrating their victory by running through their spots. I feel bad for the Royal Order, because they’re good enough, they just can’t seem to break out in the tag division. It’s a shame Korgath has never really broken out, considering the level of talent he has and the improvement he’s made since he pretended to be the Undertaker. ***

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Workrate is over-rated.

 

Decent show. Not enough World Champion for more liking though. I eagerly await the WORKRATE REPORT~! becoming a regular feture that'll no doubt ridicule my lack of sweet science abilities.

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Guest Korgath
It’s a shame Korgath has never really broken out, considering the level of talent he has and the improvement he’s made since he pretended to be the Undertaker. ***

*ack* *cough* *spits*

 

And here I thought I'd never be remembered for anything. Don't forget, when I was around, so was the tool better known as Blazenwing and the aging "veteran" Cassius Atkinson (and Dominator! the announce team invading boy!).

 

I think pretending to be the Undertaker had its moments. :P One moment, actually.

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Sitting in for Tom Flesher in today’s edition of the Smarkdown Workrate Report will be Tom Fleshmussen of the Burning Hammer Tape … Review (*sigh*).

 

As always, star ratings are based on the quality of the match, the direction and speed of the wind currently blowing on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, and how hungry Mr. Fleshmussen is at any given moment. As such they should be afforded no credence whatsoever.

 

What in the hell?

 

Anyway, nice work, Tom. As far as the show goes itself I thought it was pretty good. The developments between Toxxic/Sacred has me intrigued. It's going to be intresting to see how this plays out after Storm goes up. Add on Mak Francis wanting a piece of Sacred and we could be looking at the beginnings of a very intresting three way feud.

 

It'd be nice to see more from the World Champ on the show too, Landon. :P

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Not enough World Champion for more liking though.

Landon, this is the Pure Wrestling show. As such, spot-mokeys like you and I have no place.

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This, my friends, is a hammerlock.

Call me when someone invents a Somersault Hammerlock.

 

Although, in my defence, I am trying to get into pure wrestling more recently. So, you never know, there may be some hope left for me.

 

 

(doesn't hold out much hope)

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Pleasantly surprised with how the show came off. I'll actually comment on a (as in one) match if someone asks. The Sacred/Rev Zero dynamic is very interesting and Dace Night's return is all about kickin' ass. Dats Cool.

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