Joel gertner

[Guest converge241]

There are mnay, and i was thinking of them from the "strangest hometown" thread (dudleys)

 

my favs where when he started falling backwards, selling the awesome power of Big Dick's posing..

[Guest razazteca]

Well Well Well it is Joel "The quenticential studmuffen" Gertner, is the classic intro he will be remembered by.

 

all of the intros he did for the ECW PPVs were funny, or whenever he was in Florida.

[Guest dreamer420]

It was pretty funny when Joel was lighting matches and throwing tham at Ball Mahoney thinking he was the shit.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

"Whether the girlies are at home

Or here in Dayton

They're watching me

And masturbatin'"

-Heat Wave 1999

 

He had tons of good lines on WKMedia's first Japanese Hardcore Wrestling PPV...he was actually pretty good at play-by-play, too.

[Guest razazteca]

another mark out moment would be when Joel Gertner would move his arms up and down and jump in a fit.

 

And does anybody know why he wears the neck brace?

[Guest Some Guy]

He got 3Ded at Barely LEgal in April 97 and wore the neck brace ever since.  That's selling an injury.

[Guest razazteca]

That's selling an injury

 

for 3 years?

 

Gertner vs Cyrus "The Network" was entertaining on TNN

[Guest]

Actually he wasnt 3D'ed, The Eliminators hit him with Total Elimination

 

'Im here in Chicago for Anarchy Rules and some pretty young thing watches at home and drools and I know shes got the skills and I know shes got the tools to give her oral massage to my family jewels'

 

It is I the man for whom she begs, the bacon in her eggs and the face between her legs'

 

'Why go to the movies when you can stay at home and see me, the man the ladies call Big Daddy, the man who already slept with The Generals Daughter and the man who truly knows how to inspect her gadget Joel'I shoot a condom filla and it tastes just like vanilla' Gertner'

 

'I drink vodka, I drink scotch but your mother drinks from my crotch'

 

'Hotter than Tobasco sauce, but loads easier to swallow'

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Joel "so big, it's hard to keep from hurtin her" Gertner!

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

GERTNER: "We've got pop?! Joey, that's the 2nd stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

 

JOEY: "What's the 1st Joel?"

 

GERTNER: "TNN's old slogan..."

 

JOEY: "And what was that, Joel?"

 

GERTNER: "We f*ck pigs!"

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I think it was a November To Remember, when he was introducing the Dudley Boyz, and he introduced Big Dick as "The man who last night took such liberties with YOUR (points to fan) MOTHER..."

[Guest converge241]

I think it was a November To Remember, when he was introducing the Dudley Boyz, and he introduced Big Dick as "The man who last night took such liberties with YOUR (points to fan) MOTHER..."

 

he would do that on the house show circuit.. fans would get so pissed. Him and the dudleys did a good job of that in general.

 

does anyone know word for word the entire "jack, chiseled, pump" intro for Dvon? I hava an idea how it goes but can remember the exact syntax...

[Guest dreamer420]

I can only remember "slim, trim, buff.."  and I don't have a clue what comes after that.

[Guest Some Guy]

I think it was a November To Remember, when he was introducing the Dudley Boyz, and he introduced Big Dick as "The man who last night took such liberties with YOUR (points to fan) MOTHER..."

That he now legally considered your father in 39 states and Puerto Rico"  I think that's how he finished the line.

 

Joel "Mark McGuire might not settle for anything less than 70 but I'm hsppy being stuck at 69" Gertner

 

Joel "The women call me Fred Flinstone because I make their bed rock" Gertner

 

Actually he wasnt 3D'ed, The Eliminators hit him with Total Elimination

 

My bad.

[Guest Choken One]

Joel was so cool, shame that he can't have a career in WWE.

[Guest The Voices In Your Head]

I think it was slim, trim, buff, cut, chisled, and jaaaaaaaaaacked, and once in a while he'd announce D'Von at 169 pounds.

[Guest razazteca]

Gertner would be a perfect addition to the Raw show, Joel could replace Lawler or at least work on the 1st hour.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Slim, trim, buff, cut, RIPPED, chissled, and jaaaaaaaaaaaacked...

 

you left out the ripped...he called D-von in at 250 or something once...D-Von got in his face...then he dropped him to 160 something...called him the extreme cruiserweight.

 

His Spanish in Super Crazy matches were funny.

 

AND THE UGANDAN STUDMUFFIN!!! With his Lucky Charm body paint...funny stuff

 

I miss Joel...was it Fujita he use to call Pokemon? Who was that guy

[Guest dreamer420]

Joel

I'm the one they want to pork

When I'm in Buffalo, New York

And When I'm near Niagra Falls

Fountains come when they lick my balls

Gertner

 

Joel

All the woman in Alabama

want to take me to court

Because they've swallowed my stuff

and now they want child support.

Gertner.

 

I can't believe that I actually remembered both of those.