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the.weej

SWF LOCKDOWN CARD!

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The Smartmarks' Wrestling Federation Presents...

SWF LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9TH FROM THE SOLD OUT GUND ARENA IN CLEVELAND, OHIO!

(5PM PCT, 8PM EST; check local listings)

 

Card:

 

MAIN EVENT

LUMBERJACK MATCH

Sacred© vs Alan Clark

(LUMBERJACKS: Mak Francis, Toxxic)

No rest for the wicked. The two-time, two-time World Champion and longest-serving SWF member Sacred prevailed at Clusterfuck over Mak Francis, retaining his world championship belt. But now, a SHADOW looms over him, having been seperated from his former stable and the only light at the end of the tunnel being the shine on Landon Maddix's belts, as he eagerly awaits to cash in his Clusterfuck victory for a shot at the biggest belt in the federation. Fortunately for the weary World Champion, the only thing he needs to worry about tonight is a clean match against an eager opponent... and the two men at ringside who are going to make sure it stays that way.

Rules: Standard singles match... but if Sacred or Alan fall to the outside of the ring, Toxxic and Mak are free to do whatever they please. The two lumberjacks may not interfere with the match so long as it remains in the ring. Mak and Toxxic can write matches of their own if they so desire. Sacred's world title is not on the line here.

Word Limit: 5750

Send To: Ace309

 

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Wild and Dangerous© vs Royal Order

What can I say, I love tag matches and I desperately wanted to see the titles defended on any one-off show that I'm booking. Wild and Dangerous are difinitive champions, but Royal Order... well, I'm not so sure, but they've got a pretty cool name. There's no need for contenderships tonight!

Rules: Standard tag team match. Remember the tag ropes.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: Justice

 

MALL BRAWL VI

USJL TITLE BOUT

Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Sean Davis vs Austin Sly vs Carnage vs Ebony

Maddix said he wanted a goofy cuckoo match for the USJL belt, and well, ask and you shall recieve. The original cool! The new hotness! The best gimmick match across seven different e-feds! The vaunted Mall Brawl makes its glorious return as I make an inglorious departure, as four men and one huge goddamn furry thing DO BIG BATTEL across a hundred store shopping paradise! Why the hell is she here? Because I deem it so! Crass-commercialism meets crushing blows to the head! WHO'S CUSINE SHALL REIGN SUPREME?

Rules: The Mall Brawl should require no introduction, but I shall provide it anyway, just in case. The five participants are set loose on a shopping centre full of evening patrons, seeking out a red balloon with a gold ticket inside. The balloon can be anywhere inside the vacinity of the mall, but will not LEAVE the mall. The ticket inside proclaims whoever takes hold of it as the new SWF USJL champion. Maddix's ICTV belt is NOT on the line. Tower City Center in downtown Cleveland is the venue, if you want to look up floorplans or whatever.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: chirs3

 

NO GRAVITY MATCH

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT

Spike Jenkins© vs Manson

Honestly, I was pretty much just told to book this match. I'm sure I could write better descriptions if I had a goddamned clue what's been going on the last couple of months, but I guess I can improvise... Manson is an evil celtic dancer with disturbingly tight shorts, having channeled the awesome power of MANSONOSITY into his fleet-footed moves and unbridled passion for the floor. His evil is unequivocal. Spike is a lovable crossdressing New York bohemian with a heart of gold thighs of thunder. Did I hit it close to the mark? Oh well. They go for the CW title here regardless.

Rules: The first man to do five non-consecuitive moves from the top rope onto his opponent is the victor. Springboards and slingshots do not count towards this total.

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: Chuck Woolery

 

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH

"The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez© vs Danny Dagda

No matter how long I'm gone, I think it's safe to say there's always going to be one sure thing abou the SWF: Any of IL's characters are always, ALWAYS up for a hardcore match.

Rules: Um, hello?

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: 5_moves_of_doom

 

SINGLES MATCH

"The Critic" Scott Pretzler vs Kaine

Nooblet! Veteran! YOU LOVE IT!

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4000

Send To: Chuck Woolery

 

(Send all stuff to Ace309)

Edited by realitycheck

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SINGLES MATCH

"The Critic" Scott Pretzler vs Kaine

Nooblet! Veteran! YOU LOVE IT!

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 400

Send To: Chuck Woolery

That's going to be a hell of a short match there.

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Nobody really updates the roster list with the markers and everything in CC. That's... that's no so different from how I did it, actually.

 

Word limit typo has been fixed, also.

 

-Z

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All the better for you to bury him... I can dig up his stats for you if you really need them.

Could you do that for me? I want to send him off with some measure of respect.

 

Thanks.

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*predicts that a retired Kaine will have a slightly higher success rate than an active one*

 

So let me get this straight. I'm a lumberjack for a match with a guy I recently beat the shit out of for deserting my stable vs a member of a stable dedicated to destroying my stable, and the other lumberjack is a guy I beat the shit out of for... well I don't know, because I didn't like him I guess.

 

This should be fun.

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Come on landon, Cambridge must have a shopping centre of sorts, mustn't it? just extrapolate from there, make eveything bigger and more garish.

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And throw an orange julius on someone.

 

It's not important what it is, just have them sell it like a demon being splashed with holy water.

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Um... I'm not actiuve. Please take Kaine off of whatever list you guys use to book matches.

 

...and I personally would have chosen another round of Calvinball over Mall Brawl. ;)

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I can't write this show, for reason I can't divulge. I probably can't write or the next one either.

 

Sorry.

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Depends on what kind of move it is; if both men are on the top turnbuckle, and Manson hits Spike with a low blow, that doesn't count. As a general rule, in order for the move to count, the deliverer has to leave the top rope, whether it be for a superplex or a dropkick; a Spider Suplex would be the only exception I can think of.

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