Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 (We open to an arena full of BUTT ugly wrestling nerds and ex-ECW mutants looking for another rebel promotion latch onto.) CUE: "Slither" by Velvet Revolver CABOOSE Who the hell is this? COLE Why it's...um... COACH ...Theeee...Revolver? COLE No...wait, maybe. CABOOSE So no-one knows who this is? -COACH and COLE are silent. COACH/COLE Nope/Not at all -The fans, much like Triple C, are at a loss at who this person could be. The curtain suddenly flies open, and out walks...a dude in a suit. CABOOSE Oh, it's him. COLE You know who it is? CABOOSE No, but whoever he is, that's him. COACH ...Touche. -The mystery man slides into the ring and makes a cutting motion at his throat, causing the music to end. He pushes Buffer and takes his mic, getting some HEEL HEEEET! The man puts the mic to his lips. MAN Ladies and Gentlemen...my name is The Great One. TRIPLE C ...HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! TGO ...and I am here, because I want in to the OAOAST. And apparently, the person I now have to go through...is the bitch wife of a man I beat for the IFW World Title two and a half years ago. CABOOSE He might want to change his name...we ain't no Barney's Funtime Hour Fed like the IFW. TGO ...and that Bitch is Josie. -The fans erupt at the mention of the new HD GM, causing The Great One to smile. TGO So...Bitch...I mean, Josie...get out here. NOW. *click click click click* -A slightly muffled guitar riff is heard. "UNOS" "DOS" "TRES" "CATORCE!!" CUE: "Vertigo" by U2 -The fans go BANANA as the curtain once again opens, revealing JOSIE!!! She wears a light grey t-shirt reading "KREW" and tight black jeans. She has a look of "Dubya Tee Ef" on her face and a cigarette in her hand...DAMN she's hot. COLE By the looks of Josie's face, she KNOWS this douche. CABOOSE Did you mean to say "douche" or "dude?" COLE ..."Douche." CABOOSE Oh, rad. -Josie slowly climbs into the ring and is immediately handed a mic. She takes another drag off her cigarette as she stares at The Great One. She blows the smoke out her nose as she raises the mic to her lips. JOSIE ....Frances, right? -The Great One smirks and shakes his head. TGO ...No...It's The Gr-- JOSIE FRANCES JANE! THAT'S Your Fucking Name! Oh MAN, that was gonna bug me for the rest of the night...How ya been, Fran?! TGO ...It's The Gr-- JOSIE Still in that shithouse IFW? TGO ...I was their champion until the company went out of business. JOSIE Ohhh...that's too bad...why? TGO ...Why what? JOSIE Why'd it go out of business? TGO ...Because of low attendance and bankruptcy. JOSIE ...Really? TGO ......Yes. JOSIE ...And...YOU were the IFW Champion? TGO ....Yes. JOSIE ...Heh...wh-WHEN they went out of business? TGO Look, Josie, the reason why I'm he-- JOSIE So...the company...which was run by YOUR friend...went out of business when YOU became champion? TGO Shut U-- JOSIE HA!! I FUCKIN' KNEW IT!!....ohhhh, man...good times...anyway, what's up? TGO ...I came here to get a contract. JOSIE ...From me? TGO From you, yes. JOSIE ....a contract to wrestle? TGO Yes, idiot, to wrestle. JOSIE ...and by calling me an "idiot" and a "bitch"...that's gonna help you get a job here? -The fans "ooooooooooo" as The Great One takes off his sunglasses. TGO ...No. You're going to give me a contract...so you can see The Great One bec-- JOSIE Frances. -LAUGHS! TGO ...The Great One beco-- JOSIE Frances. TGO ...So you can see ME rise to the top of this company and increase your ratings. -Josie cocks her head to the side slightly and stares at The Great One, who keeps making a "belt" motion across his waist. JOSIE ....wait, are you hitting on me by doing that? Stop it. -MORE LAUGHS!! JOSIE ...All right...you have a job here. AND....and...since you and I go way back? You and me have a match right now. -The fans erupt in cheers as The Great One smiles wide and takes off his jacket. JOSIE Yeah. If you win, you take my job as General Manager...and if I win...You-- TGO You won't win...so don't even finish that sentence. Prepare to be GREAT-ONED! JOSIE ...Yeah...sure... -Both Josie and TGO drop their mics as referee NICK KENT asks for the bell. DING DING DING!! -The Great One strides forward as Josie gets into a fighting stance...and he PUSHES her into the turnbuckle! TGO grabs her by the face and starts screaming. TGO "YOU STUPID BITCH! I'm The Great One!!" -Josie starts crying as The Great One laughs maniacally. JOSIE "Please! Don't hurt me! I have a daughter...Please!!" -The Great One releases Josie and turns his back to her, instead, jaw-jacking with the crowd. Josie suddenly starts to whistle as she dances out of the corner. The fans cheer as she walks up behind The Great One, and tappity-tap-taps his shoulder. TGO turns around......WHAM!!!!!! COLE LAMF!!! LAMF!!! DIAMOND CUTTER!! -The fans erupt as Josie non-chalantly drapes her arm across The Great One's chest, almost posing. Nick Kent counts it... 1 2 3! DING DING DING!! -Josie stands slowly and smiles. She picks up the mic again, pulls out her pack of American Spirits, goes through the smoker motions, and blows the smoke right onto the Great One's face. She stands over him slightly as she speaks. JOSIE You know, Frances...you actually did a good thing tonight...really, you did. You were basically an unwilling demonstration of what can happen if you fuck with me. -As Josie says this, she looks right towards the entryway. JOSIE ...The price you pay for treating me like some pisant little bitch iiiis...I break your fuckin neck...just like THIS fucker here. -The fans erupt as Josie takes another drag off her cigarette. She blows the smoke out slowly as she raises the mic back to her lips. JOSIE Now...if ANY of you sons of bitches have ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY...NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! -Louder cheers, medium pause... JOSIE ...Didn't think so.... -Josie bows slightly as the cheers are now emaculate...what?...Josie looks down at TGO, who is still not moving. She smiles wide. JOSIE ...and you?...You're fired... -Josie throws down the mic as U2's "Vertigo" hits up. -FADE To..... On a Monday I am waiting. Tuesday I am fading. And By Wednesday I can’t sleep. Oops. Wrong song. You make me wanna la la in the kitchen on the floor. I'll be your french maid, when I’ll meet you at the door HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We return to the sold out arena with Michael Cole and James E. Cornette standing on the interview stage built next to the rampway. Cornette's hot pink jacket and tennis racket case making him stand out. Cole is just about to speak when Cornette rips the microphone out of his hands, the arena lights glaring off his glasses, as he holds up his racket. CORNETTE Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. They're the butter on your toast and the syrup on your pancake. Jim Cornette Enterprises in association with Arista Records proudly present the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, Synth Esizer and Logan "Usher" Mann...THE SAAAAINTS! "Heart Shaped Box" hits, and dressed in angelic white leather outfits The Saints emerge on the rampway, the multicolor spotlight following them as they strut to the interview stage. After taking a walk on the wild side and getting a good chunk of his afro burned by Hell's Hitmen, the Synthmeister is once again sporting his combed down bleach blonde hairdo. The man who would be Jimi Hendrix, Logan "Usher" Mann, his afro, and Synth walk up the steps and shake Cornette's hand. COLE Gentlemen, two weeks ago at Anglepalooza, The Saints and New New Midnight Express squared off in one of the many great matches held that night, with the New New Midnight Express emerging victorious, thanks to the help of some old friends -- "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton and "Sweet" Stane Lane -- the Midnight Express. Jim Cornette, many people believe YOU are the one responsible for their being at Anglepalooza. Synth and Logan surround Michael Cole, making him uncomfortable as they put their arms around his neck. Cole takes a big gulp and awaits James E.'s response. CORNETTE (chuckles) My, my. What a vivid imagination we have there, Michael Cole. Don't you think I, or The Saints, haven't noticed how you constantly try to find ways to cause trouble. It was you who put thoughts into the minds of "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned. It was you for kept asking all these ridiculous questions. Michael, I see you're a little worried standing up here with us. Forget about Synth and Logan, they're not gonna attack you. You see, I -- we -- respect a man who's willing to ask the tough questions. This is the United States of America, brother. So I'm not gonna stand up here and verbally or physically abuse you, nor will The Saints. No, Michael Cole, I'm gonna give you the facts. We have something called freedom of speech and freedom of the press. And doggone it, the public has a right to know. Cole is surprised by Cornette's candidness. CORNETTE It's no secret to anyone with an IQ over 10 -- and God knows the bloodthristy Philly fans' IQ is barely over 10 -- that Holly-Wood, Image Consultant for J.C.E. and The Saints' rep from Arista Records, has never really shown a desire or happiness to be involved in this great sport. Yes, she is the Women's Champion, but she doesn't sell out arenas around the globe, have her own tour bus, or have two hit Christmas albums like The Saints do. SYNTH Or the tag team titles. Right, Mr. C, daddy? CORNETTE Oh, especially the tag team titles. Which I promise will be around your waists very soon. Basically, what I'm saying is: Holly-Wood paid Bobby and Stan to help the New New Midnight Express beat Synth and Logan at Anglepalooza. You know why? Because that whore corrupted Ned's mind with sex! Holly would come up to me in J.C.E. board meetings and keep gawking about how sexy Ned was, and if I knew if he were single. I knew he thought Holly was hot, so I did everything in my power to keep him away from her, but like a shark smelling blood in the water, one day Holly ambushed Ned in the parking lot and seduced him right then and there. I sat on my chair and weeped because I knew right then that the New New Midnight Express were finished. Yeah, Simon was still pure, but his longstanding friendship with Ned, the man he came up the independent circut with, would mean more to him than money. Every man who has been apart of the Midnight Express tradition has been about wrestling. They didn't sing or dance. They didn't come out posing to rock and roll music. No, once they entered the arena, they were all business -- all about wrestling. Thanks to freeloader Holly-Wood, it's all gone. A very emotional Jim Cornette steps away from the mic and is consoled by Synth and Logan. The crowd ERUPTS as HOLLY-WOOD, the OAOAST Women's Champion, comes onto the interview stage. HOLLY YOU DAMN LIAR! Cornette, you've never liked me from the day we met. You've done everything in your power to undermine me in the eyes of Synth and Logan, but it hasn't worked. You come out here and cry like a little baby, saying that I haven't shown any desire for this sport. In case you haven't noticed, I am the Women's champion! I've been traveling around the world defending my title AND serving as J.C.E. Image Consultant and Arista Records rep. The last time I checked, Synth and Logan haven't won any belts. Holly stops as Cornette whispers something to Synth and Logan. HOLLY (to Synth and Logan) He's spreading lies. You know I didn't mean it like that. I have a huge stake in your success. The more success you have in wrestling, the more goodwill I build with Arista, with a possible promotion in my future. SYNTH Wait's a momento. You's sayin' we're nothing more than a steppin'stone to ya? You sayin' moi and L.U.M. -- heh, LUM rhymes with plum, young and dumb -- no offense, my black brother, who'd obviously be from's another mother because I'm white as a cracker and paler than Michael Cole's wanker. COLE Hey! SYNTH Mucho love, M.C. Man love, not that gay love. Not that there's a problem with that, 'cause the Synthmeister is huge with the gays, the straights, the verticals, the horizontals, and even the diagonals. Logan SLAPS Synth upside the head. SYNTH Damn, Ah bees rantin' again. Moi bad, homies. As Ah was sayin', we ain'ts nothing more than... than... help me out, Mann. LOGAN Holly, you stabbed us in the back! Stabbed me in the back more specifically. Synth would say you were too cold. Frigid. But I liked you. I even defended you against him time and time again. I trusted you more then I've ever trusted anyone before. And what did you do? You used that trust, a gift I gave you, against us. As a weapon! A tool of mass destruction! I'm at a loss for words. I'm personally wounded. All you care about is your career! You're a user! We never meant a damn thing to you! We're nothing but your on the job training! Rungs on your ladder to lavish success. Just like everyone else in the entertainment industry, you’re obsessed with fame and in love with the spotlight and you’d crawl over anyone, even those who tried to extend their hand in friendship to you like I did, to get your fifteen minutes on MTV and E! and Access Hollywood. Well, you got it. Now let me ask you, was it worth it? Was it worth pissing away our relationship? Please tell me, because I'm dying to know. Was it worth it? Tell me now. I hope it was. I hope to god it was. Logan pauses as Holly shakes her head, imploring him to listen to reason. LOGAN I gave you something more valuable then gold, diamonds, jewels and even fame, and that's my friendship. Truthfully, I could almost forgive you for paying Lane and Eaton to run in on our match. Logan takes off his five hundred dollar glasses, and stares at Holly with pained eyes. LOGAN But you pushed me away for Ned Blanchard. I’ll never forgive you for that. I will carry that to my grave. You’re disgusting. You think that you’re too good for me, huh? You’re trash. And when Ned realizes that, he’ll kick your ass to the streets where it belongs. I'll tell you this, if Ned ever has the balls to get in my face again, I'm going to tear him to shreds. I swear to GOD! HOLLY Logan, please understand! Cornette is manipulating you! CORNETTE Don't listen to her, Logan! She is a witch and a damn devil woman! A gold-digger! She's Yoko Ono 2005. And you know what she did to one of the greatest bands of all-time. Do not trust a word that comes out of her mouth, because those words are nothing but falsifications and half truths! You saw what she did to Candie three weeks ago. She will do the exact same to you, Logan Mann. I know this and you know this. Only your pain won't be physical like Candie’s. It will be emotional. She will scar you. And those are scars that will never heal. Trust me. You don't want this on your soul. HOLLY Don't believe him! Just listen to me. I..I..can.. LOGAN You can what? Explain? Holly, save your breath because you're a terrible liar. Don't speak. You don't give a rat's ass about us, we don't give a rat's ass about you. SYNTH And Ah gots to say, that is a nice ass. Damn, Ah can't believe I said that out loud. That's likes sayin' moi sis has a nice ass. LOGAN She does. SYNTH Yo, Mann, you checkin' out my lil' sis? HOLLY Who hasn't? The crowd "OOH's" as Synth's jaw drops. Logan has to hold his enraged partner back. CORNETTE See, boys, that's Holly's typical attitude towards you guys right there. None of this Access Hollywood bull. While Holly is on second rate entertainment shows, you'll be on the grandaddy of entertainment shows -- Entertainment Tonight! SYNTH Hey, Ah like Nancy O'Dell. CORNETTE Brother, I can get Nancy O'Dell and Mary Hart to wrestle in mud for the pleasure of interviewing the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time. That's why I've taken the liberty of drafting up papers terminating Holly's contract with J.C.E. That's right, Ms. All-About-Me, YOU'RE FIRED! As Cornette says "you're fired" he uses the tennis racket to mimic Donald Trump's "COBRA" hand gesture. Cornette and The Saints laugh at Holly, as she's completely stunned by her public firing. CABOOSE I bet she cries. COLE Hol-Holly, I know this is a very difficult time for you, but if I could just get a w-- SYNTH Wait's another momento. It's just occured in my acid-trippin' brain that when Holly said who hasn't checked out my lil' sis' ass, did she mean it as an insult or in a sexual way? Holly, did you mean that -- Are you a lesbo? The Synthmeister likes lesbos, especially hot-lookin' ones, not like Roise O'Donnel or somethin', so if you're a les-- Holly lunges at Cornette, tackling him down on the stage, pounding her right hand into the left temple of Jim Cornette. Michael Cole jumps off the stage and rushes back to SOFA CENTRAL! The Saints pull Holly off Cornette, who repeatedly falls on his BUTT in an over-the-top matter trying to rise back to his feet. Doubled over, Holly sticks James E. between her thighs, drawing wolf whistles from the horny, screaming males in attendence and loud cheers from the females seeing their sister-in-arms fight the man. COLE (panting) Oh, my! Holly is gonna POWERBOMB James E. on the interview stage! CABOOSE Somebody do something! Cornette will crack like an egg if Holly powerbombs him. Just as Holly gets Cornette half-way up, Logan grabs Cornette's legs and plants his feet back to the ground, allowing Synth to free Cornette of Holly's grip. CABOOSE James E. just pulled out of Holly. Logan and Holly have a heated exchange, with both shoving their index finger into each others chest. BAM! Cornette cold-cuts Holly from behind with the TENNIS RACKET, drawing the rage of the fans for the cheapshot. Logan and Synth look on as Cornette brutalizes Holly's back with the racket. Suddenly, there's a CHEER. THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS, in their black tights with silver star on the front and "MX" written on the back in silver-lettering, run out from the back with STEEL CHAIRS. The Saints and James E. dive to the arena floor as "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned climb onto the interview stage. The NNMX don't stay long, jumping off and chasing The Saints around the ring. Synth and Logan slide into the ring, the NNMX right behind. Out of nowhere, TWO MEN nearly rip Simon and Ned's heads off their shoulders with a pair of CLOTHESLINES. The chairs go flying over the top rope to the arena floor, which are quickly picked up by OAOAST security. BLACK T! COLE The former World tag team champions fire the first shot. And we don't even have a referee out here. Somebody send out a referee. Dan Black and Tony Brannigan stomp their opponents on the mat. The Saints flee backstage, running past Earl Hebner, his age beginning to show as he slowly sprints to the ring. Earl orders the bell to be rung, officially starting the bout. ANDERSON CUP MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE New New New Express vs. Black T Narcissistic Ned Blanchard rammed headfirst into the turnbuckle. Sarcastic Simon Singleton meets the same fate in the opposite corner. Black T have isolate the NNMX in separate corners, ramming their shoulders into the midsections of Simon and Ned. Dan and Tony glance at one another, nodding their heads. They Irish whip the NNMX towards each other. Narcissistic Ned leaps over a somersaulting Sarcastic Simon, who hits Tony with a CLOTHESLINE, and catches Dan Black square in the jaw with a SPINNING HEEL KICK. The momentum rolling Dan on his back to the corner, where his legs get caught on the top rope. Tony uses the ropes to pull himself back up, only to be double clotheslined over the top rope and to the floor. While all that occured, Earl Hebner unhooked Dan's legs from the top rope, and "The Ice Heart" bails to the outside. The NNMX feed off the energy of the roaring crowd, Black T regrouping outside. COLE Simon and Ned have come to fight tonight. CABOOSE Of course they have. You have two former OAOAST tag team champions facing off. Neither one of these teams are strangers to big-time matches. COACH And they don't come any bigger than this. The winner moves one step closer to AngleMania IV. Tony walks up the ring steps and steps through the ropes, having one last chat with Dan Black, on the apron. On the other side of the ring, Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned have a brief chat of their own before high fiving. It's going to be Narcissistic Ned and Tony Brannigan starting things off for their teams. Collar-and-elbow tieup. Both men trying to gain the upperhand but neither budging. They break and lockup again. Narcissistic Ned backed against the ropes, Tony drops to one knee and drives the forearm into the gut, following up with a big right hand, and then shooting Ned into the ropes. Blanchard ducks a clothesline, and another. Ned back off the ropes. POWERSLAM! Tony Brannigan caught Ned with a big-time powerslam, getting a two count out of it. Brannigan grabs a handful of Blanchard's short blonde hair and applies a front facelock, as he takes him to his (Black T's) corner and tags Dan Black. "The Ice Heart" comes in and kicks Ned in the ribcage as Tony releases the front facelock. Ned doubles over, clutching his ribs. Black lifts him up and drops Ned stomachfirst across his knee. GUTBUSTER. 1... 2... KICKOUT! Dan takes Ned up for a high vertical suplex, but Blanchard floats up and over, kicking Black in the stomach and lifting him up for a suplex. But not just any suplex. Blanchard drops Black's feet across the top rope and hits the SLINGSH-- NO! Ned dropped Dan too hard across the rope, allowing Black enough spring to float over. "The Ice Heart" with a go-behind waistlock and hits a German Suplex, rolling through for a pinfall attempt. NIGHT FALLS! 1... 2... PIN BROKEN UP BY SIMON! Black shoves Singleton, suckering him into the ring, allowing Black T to make an illegal switch. Exit Dan, enter Tony. "Hey, come on. There wasn't a tag made. The referee didn't see it, so he can't allow," Michael Cole says. After keeping Sarcastic Simon in his corner, Earl turns his attention back to the ring, to the sight of Tony with a reverse chinlock on Narcissistic Ned. Hebner double-takes, noticing Dan Black is no longer in the ring. Hebner questions the 292 pound strongman, who denies any wrongdoing, as does Dan Black from the apron. CABOOSE You're going senile, Hebner. A tag was made. Earl looks to the crowd for help, who tell him no tag was made. Hebner once again questions Brannigan, who releases the chinlock to verbally abuse the long-time official. The 6'6" Tony Brannigan dwarfs Hebner, but Earl doesn't back down one bit, pointing to the stripes on his shirt. Tony squats down to Earl's eye level and flexes his biceps, which COVERS UP Hebner's ENTIRE FACE, getting an "OH" from the fans. With Tony occupied with Hebner, Narcissistic Ned crawls behind Brannigan and SCHOOL BOY'S him by pulling Tony's tights down, revealing a zebra-patterened speedo. COACH It matches Earl's shirt! COLE Can this be it? Did Ned catch Tony enough by surprise? CABOOSE All that questioning means he's gonna kickout. Watch. 1... 2... KICKOUT! CABOOSE Told you so! Ned TAGS Simon, who comes in ready to fight. Tony momentarily charged Singleton but stopped in his tracks, choosing to tag inDan, who's really the legal man because Black T never made a tag. Black wipes his feet on the apron before entering the ring. A true man's man. A gentleman. CABOOSE There he is... COACH Miss America? CABOOSE No, you idiot! Dan Black -- the Arn Anderson of the OAOAST. He's won mutipule singles championships, but he's really made a name for himself in the tag team ranks. He's won the OAOAST tag team champion with two different partners, with many saying either one of those teams could lay claim to being the greatest in OAOAST history. COLE Of course, you're referring to Black's partnerships with JINGUS and Tony Brannigan. Ironically enough, Dan is competing in the Miracle Weirdness Connection conference of the Anderson Cup, as is the Devilman. COACH Well, with Caboose saying "there he is," it got The Coach thinking of Miss America. CABOOSE Even though I clearly said "he"? COACH Hey, say it really fast and you wouldn't know the difference. CABOOSE I assume that's your same mindset in the bedroom. COACH The "Nature Boy" may have been known as the 60-minute man, but The Coach is the 60-second stud, baby! Black and Singleton circle around the ring. This should be good. Sarcastic Simon Singleton probably the other best pure wrestler in the tag team division outside of Dan Black. Dan slaps his triceps and locks up with Simon. Wristlock into the armbar. Black with the advantage. Simon counters into a hammerlock. Black reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Singleton with a drop toehold into a front facelock. Earl Hebner foolish asks Black if he wants to quit, to which Dan replies: "What do you think, you bloody moron?" Black rises back to a vertical postion and waistlocks Singleton, lifting him over his head and down to the mat with a NORTHERN LITES SUPLEX! COLE Excellent counter. CABOOSE Which you'd expect from a thinking man's wrestler like Dan Black. 1... 2... SIMON shows tremendous strengh by BRIDGING OUT of the Northern Lites Suplex and into a BACKSLIDE! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Black quickly rises back to his feet and connects with a couple of stiff European Uppercutts. He applies a wristlock and attempts to Irish whip Simon to the corner, but Singleton reverses it and sends Dan into the corner. Luckily for Dan he was sent into his corner, but he still hit hard against the turnbuckles and slumps against them. Singleton charges towards Black and tries to hit that RUNNING BRONCOBUSTER "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton always tried but never connected with; same result here, as Tony pulls Dan out of the corner, and Sarcastic Simon groins himself on the middle turnbuckle. Simon rests his head on the top turnbuckle, holding his crotch. Black waistlocks Singleton from behind and lifts him out of the corner. Belly-to-belly suplex coming up. NO! The crowd groans as Black DROPS Simon right on his HEAD. BELLY-TO-BACK BRAINBUSTER! COLE Oh, my! Dan rolls Simon on his feet and covers him, hooking the leg. 1... 2... KICKOUT! With Singleton lying on the mat, clutching his head, Dan makes a tag. Tony Brannigan comes in and brings Simon back to his feet, ramming the knee into the gut and then repeatedly driving the forearm into the back of the neck. Tony signals for the piledriver. He tucks Simon's head between his legs and lifts him up, driving him headfirst into the canvas. ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER! 1... 2... NED PULLS TONY OFF SIMON. Hebner prevents Narcissistic Ned from causing any further trouble, isolating him away from Tony and Sarcastic Simon. Black T make another illegal switch. Dan Black snapmares Simon over and clamps on the DRAGON SLEEPER! Simon squirms around, trying to free himself. Dan grimances and grunts as he cranks back, applying further pressure. Sarcastic Simon's partner, Narcissistic Ned Blanchard, stands in the corner on the middle rope, shouting encouragement, slapping the top turnbuckle. The fans get behind the NNMX, cheering and clapping. Simon is going out of it, so Earl Hebner checks on him, raising his arm up -- it goes down. 1... Earl does it again. And for the second time in a row, the arm goes down. 2... COLE One more and it's over. CABOOSE Thank you, Mr. Obvious. The arm goes up and dow -- NO! Sarcastic Simon isn't finished yet. He pumps his fist as the crowd's cheers grow louder. Simon bridges up, but Dan's weight is still pressing down on his neck and upperbody. Simon uses his free hand to punch Dan in his ear. Smartly, Dan locks his hands together, cutting off both of Singleton's arms. Black grabs a handful of tights and lifts Sarcastic Simon up for an inverted suplex. No, he's going for the OSAKA STREET CUTTER -- an inverted suplex into a Diamond Cutter. Simon kicks Dan in the back with his feet, managing to shift his weight down on Dan, and hits a REVERSE DDT! COLE What a counter! Simon used whatever strengh he had left to counter the Osaka Street Cutter. Now can he make the tag? He's still half-way across the ring. Sarcastic Simon crawls to his corner on his belly, as does Dan to his. Black makes the tag first. Tony rushes in and attempts to stop Simon -- TAG MADE! The crowd goes up in a cheer. A fresh Narcissistic Ned comes in a house afire. Sending both members of Black T down with right hands. Tony caught with a kick in the midsection and then Irish whipped to the ropes. BACK BODYDROP. Ned catches Dan with a kick and converts a suplex into a powerslam. JACKHAMMER. Tony charges Ned, who moves out of the way and catches Tony with a POWERSLAM as he comes back off the ropes. 1... 2... KICKOUT! The crowd gasps. Dan Black sneaks up behind Ned with his hands locked together in a double axe-handle, but SARCASTIC SIMON spins him around and decks him with a big right hand. Narcissistic Ned joins Sarcastic Simon in firing Dan into the ropes. Simon drops the elbow in the back of the neck after the drop toehold from Ned. Classic Midnight Express double-team. Tony tries to CLOTHESLINE Simon and Ned from behind, but they see him out of the corner of their eyes and ducked down. They hit Brannigan with the FLAPJACK as he ricohets off the ropes. The crowd rises to their feet when Ned points to the top. Sarcastic Simon sprints to the corner and climbs to the top. Narcissistic Ned launches Simon off the top, who comes crashing down on Tony with a BIG SPLASH. THE ROCKET LAUNCHER! Because Narcissistic Ned is the legal man, Sarcastic Simon immediately gets off Tony and CLOTHESLINES Dan over the top rope, the two falling to the outside. For good measure, Blanchard hits the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! COLE There it is! COACH With the string of bad luck they've experienced over the last couple of weeks, if Black T lose this, they're gonna explode. Out of nowhere, LOGAN "USHER" MANN hops on the ring apron and tries entering the ring but Earl Hebner prevents him from doing so. Narcissistic Ned has Tony pinned in the center of the ring. Hebner has to physically hold Logan from stepping into the ring. Dan Black and Sarcastic Simon are brawling outside. Narcissistic Ned has finally had enough of this. He grabs Mann by the collar of his white leather jacket, his fist cocked back. A chorus of BOOS fills the arena. SYNTH ESIZER is in the ring! He grabs Ned's cocked fist and spins him around, kicking him in the gut and hitting PERCUSSION (DDT)! Synth places Tony on top of Ned. COLE No! Damn him! The Saints have no business out here. The Saints run backstage, garbage being thrown at them. Sarcastic Simon throws Dan against the guardrails and sees The Saints fleeing on the AngleTron. Just as he's about to slide into the ring, Dan jumps on top of the ring steps and hits Simon with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE! 1... 2... 3-- * DING DING DING DING * NO! KICKOUT! COLE Oh, my! I cannot believe it. Narcissistic Ned kicked out. Incredible! The timekeeper even thought it was over, ringing the bell. CABOOSE This is exactly what we expected out of two former OAOAST tag team champions. Outside, Dan rams Sarcastic Simon into the RINGPOST and then enters the ring with a look on his face never-before-seen. He picks Blanchard up and turns him around, facing his back. Black wraps Ned's arm around his neck. COACH Oh, he's going for the Black Bomb. That reverse Rock Bottom. Coach is somewhat correct. Instead of slamming Ned face/stomachfirst into the canvas, he drops Ned HEART/CHESTFIRST across his KNEE. A maneuver we'll call THE ICE HEART for the time being. The crowd feels Ned's pain, "oohing" after the blow. Black holds onto his grip, hitting the same maneuver two more times before finally letting go. He places Tony, who's still feeling the effects of the Rocket Launcher and Slingshot Suplex, on top of Ned. 1... 2... 3! CABOOSE Now it's over. * DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, and advancing to the Conference Finals -- BLAAACK TEEE! The crowd is absolutely livid that the most hated team in the tournament, and perhaps the greatest tag team in OAOAST history is moving on to the Conference Finals. Dan helps Tony to his feet and pumps his fist, looking straight into the camera and saying "two more." COACH Dan Black referring to the number of matches left to win for Black T to earn a shot at the OAOAST World tag team titles at AngleMania IV. Next week we'll have the two Conference Final matches, with the two winners advancing to the Anderson Cup Finals at Zero Hour, February 27th live on pay-per-view. COLE Let's go backstage. I hear the cameras have caught something. We cut backstage and from a distance we see Jim Cornette yelling at The Saints. "You fools," he shouts. "Don't you see, we woulda humiliated Simon and Ned further by defeating them in the Finals, but you guys hada get your revenge now, didn't you? Guys, all the fun is in the chase, not the kill." Cornette stops as he sees the cameras rolling. He and The Saints exit the cameras view. COLE What was that all about. ZERO HOUR February 27th Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 We cut to a shot of the office of the new HD General Manager! Josie Baker sits at her desk, looking sexy, drawing a big pop from the fans. A lit cigarette burns on a nearby ashtray as the lovely Mrs. Baker files through some papers, while chatting with someone on the phone. JOSIE Yes, Stephanie, you HAVE to change her... Josie stops fluttering through the papers and raises her eyebrows. JOSIE Well, I don't CARE if your boyfriend is coming over...besides, if you get knocked up while on the job at MY house, I'M held responsible. How old are you? Pause. JOSIE FIF-TEEN?! No. If your boyfriend comes over, then tonight is your last night, Stephanie. Become a woman on your own time, not on my couch. Josie listens for a brief moment, then hangs up the phone, setting it on her cluttered desk. JOSIE *phew*....how am I ever gonna pull this off. Josie tries to get back to her paperwork, but a knock at the door interrupts. The GM puts the papers back down on the desk, sighing. JOSIE Come in. The door opens...and a KING-SIZED pop echoes through the arena as Hoff steps into the office! The big man closes the door behind him, and looks at Josie, who keeps her face a mask...with just a weeee hint of a smile playing at her lips. HOFF Hey, Josie...er, Ms. Baker... JOSIE Josie will be fine, Hoff. Sit down. Hoff obliges, sitting his BUTT in the PLUSH LEATHER CHAIR on the opposite side of the desk. CABOOSE How do they move those from show to show? COLE We have a dedicated crew. COACH Holla! Josie plays with a pen as Hoff looks her dead in the eye. JOSIE So. What's up? Hoff thinks it over before responding. HOFF Well, I understand that this is a big change, for HeldDOWN, and for you, and for the rest of the company. I get that we might be going in new directions, as you see fit. I get that. But what you have to get is that I NEED this title, Josie. I need it like the air we breathe. It's everything to me. Hoff pauses, looking for a reaction. Josie simply nods, prompting Hoff to go on. HOFF Now, I know we don't really know each other. I was never tight with your husband, or your brother-in-law...really, any of the family. But I know you know me, and I know you've seen what I can do. Josie nods, apparently in assent. HOFF And I'm telling you, right here and now, that I am here for the long haul, that I am a guy you can build this company around, a cornerstone-- JOSIE Hoff. Hoff stops abruptly. Josie smiles slightly. JOSIE Your title shot isn't going anywhere. Hoff breathes deeply, appearing to melt into his chair in relaxation. He closes his eyes, looks up...but Josie snaps him back to Earth. JOSIE You know, Bill had a lot of faith in you. He beileved that you could be the guy...y'know? But I want to see it, Hoff. I want to see it first-hand. You've got your shot, that isn't going anywhere. But I need guys who can entertain the crowd, so at Zero Hour -- not to mention, tonight -- you'd better bring the goods. Hoff nods strongly, with a confident smile on his face. HOFF You'd better be watching, then, 'cause I'm gonna put on a show that puts Jenna Jameson to shame. Josie almost laughs, nodding as Hoff gets to his feet. The big man turns, opens the door...but stops, and looks back. HOFF Hey, boss...good luck. Josie DOES give a full-on smile this time. JOSIE Hey, Hoff...same to you. Hoff smiles before exiting the door. Once he does, the smile fades from Josie Baker's face with a sigh as she goes back to her paperwork. JOSIE Everybody needs something... *cut back to SOFA CENTRAL* CABOOSE What a disgusting worm. Brown-nosing with the boss. Blech. By the way, if the Board is watching, I hope you guys liked the cookies I sent. They're homemade! COACH I'd call him out on this one, but those cookies were TIGHT, playa~! CABOOSE Chocolate chunk, just like the men you take to your bed, Cole. COLE Awful. In any event, it looks like our new GM is looking to make HeldDOWN better than ever! COACH Man, and you think HOFF'S a brown-noser. Hey, pass those cookies, nigga. CABOOSE Oh, screw that. You had your share. COACH Aww.... COLE Remember, folks, that Zero Hour eminates live from Minneapolis, Minnesota on Sunday the 27th of February, and you can order it LIVE on pay-per-view! And you will see, for the World Title, Drek Stone defending against Hoff! CABOOSE What a night it will be, when Drek notches arguably the biggest notch in his belt by beating Hoff in the middle of his own hometown! COLE We've also got the finals of the Anderson Cup, plus no doubt a whole lot more...but speaking of tag-team action-- COACH And the Coach LOVES the tag-team!! CABOOSE Yeah, loves GETTING tag-teamed. COACH Yeah, by WOMEN~! CABOOSE Women named Frank. COLE SPEAKING OF TAG TEAM ACTION...you pervs...we've got our six-man main event still to come! Plus a whole lot more!! TINA/TAYLOR (GO TO BREAK) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 (edited) The crowd boos the moment "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is shown. He is wearing his usual (Read: only) Corporate attire, that being a white dress shirt, red tie, black sports jacket, black dress pants, black polish shoes with a gold chain, a Puerto Rico flag bandana, and a $500 Rolex watch. He is with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, also "Corporate-ly" dressed, and the two are pacing back and forth in P.R.'s dressing room when suddenly a knock is heard at the door. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN: Who is it? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK: Some old friends. The door opens, and in come the members of The Lightning Crew. P.R. smiles a wide smile, as he greets his LC followers like family. P.R.: Hey! Cuban Wall! How you doing? Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall embrace. CUBAN WALL: Hey, boss! Dude, what's going on? You look different. What's with the suit? PRL: Well, since I am "The Corporate Champion", I gotta look the part, right? CUBAN WALL: I guess. Popick brings in Mr. Boricua. PRL: Boricua! Buddy! MR. BORICUA: YEAAAAAAAAA!!!! Mr. Boricua rushes towards PRL, and gives him a giant bear hug. The giant squeezes the life out of the Corporate Champ, so PRL struggles to escape. He finally does, adjusts his suit, and then pats Boricua on the back. PRL: So, Boricua. How you been, buddy? BORICUA: Uhhhh. Good. PRL: There you go. You been working on your speak n' spell? ::Boricua nods his head:: PR: Good. You know how to spell more words? BORICUA: Yeah. Like. Doggy. And. Puppy. And. Boricua! PR: Good for you! You're learning very fast. Way to go, Boricua. Perhaps, you're not as dim witted as I thought. Mr. Boricua is too dim witted to realize that he was just insulted. Vitamin X arrives and he and PR slap hands, and do the typical manly hug. PR: Yo, X. How's it hanging? VITAMIN X: I've been doing good. I've sort of moved more and more away from actual wrestling, and more into the business aspect of it. I haven't wrestled in a damn long time, and to tell you the truth, I haven't missed it that much. I like being on the business side alot more. PRL: Hmm. Sounds interesting. VITAMIN X: I was actually thinking of some neat ways we can increase our monthly intake. The Lightning Crew can make some more money if we sell some more merchandise. You see, if we just--- PRL: THOMAS! Thomas! Thomas Rodriguez! How are you doing, bro? THOMAS RODRIGUEZ: Eh, I've been better. I've been doing alot of relaxing since I last saw you. I haven't refereed a match in ages, because, well, we haven't been on any OAOAST show since July. CUBAN WALL: Yeah, what's up with that? You leave for 8 months, and we barely get any screentime since then. And how come you didn't call us when you were in jail? I'm sure they gave you more than one phone call. PRL: They did, indeed Wall. But you see, I was only allowed one phone call once in a while, and I used those phone calls to call Lindsay, to call my mom, to call my dad, to call my 27 cousins, to call my grandmas and grandpas, to call my great grandmas and grandpas, to call my 47 aunts and uncles, to call my other friends, to call Popick. So, you see, I had to think of my prioties, and as much as I love you guys, I do love other people more. VITAMIN X: Well, you could have written to us. We wanted to know how you were doing. And how come when you were allowed visitors, you didn't ask for any of us? PRL: Guys, guys. Again. Prioties. I had to think of my family and my girl before I thought of you guys. They're more important to me. And as for writing, well I couldn't write, because all I thought about was Lindsay, and the OAOAST, and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. I was so distracted, I couldn't write to you. Sorry guys. VITAMIN X: Hmmm. Okay. THOMAS: Yeah, we are just glad to have you back. We missed you so much! MR. BORICUA: BIG HUG! PRL: No, Boricua! Not now. No. No. No. Bad boy. VITAMIN X: Well, we just can't wait to get back into action. CUBAN WALL: Yeah, speaking of action, say, boss, I was wondering if maybe Popick can arrange for me to get a shot at the X-Division Title. I mean, I've been watching the shows, and I think that I can defintley take that Leon Rodez guy on. I mean, he's a small guy, and I'm a giant. I can win that belt. VITAMIN X: And I was thinking that maybe me and Boricua could team up to go after the Tag Team Titles. The belts are being held by a couple of chicks. HA! It'll be so easy to take the belts away from them! I mean, they're two bitches. We're men. It's a no contest! LINDSAY: Say, you wouldn't mind getting your boo a shot at the Women's Title, would ya? Come on, I'm the first lady of The Lightning Crew. I can take all those bitches in the Women's Division. I am the Latin Bitch! So, honey, what do you say? Can I get a title shot at the Women's Title? POPICK: People, people, people! Please. Now, I know how much all of you want to be apart of the OAOAST again. I know how you guys don't want to be seen just as PRL's lackeys, but you guys got to understand something. Guiding PRL to the World Heavyweight Title is alot of work. It takes alot of time, and a lot of effort. We're always dealing with roadblocks in our way, be it the OAOAST Board Of Directors, other wrestlers, or the Champion him/herself. So, becoming World Champion is the #1 thing in our minds and we won't rest till it happens. But, I will *try* to make time for you guys. I know how much you want to wrestle, and you will. I promise. You will be getting title shots real soon, trust me. CUBAN WALL: Hey, boss, what about getting me a shot at the 24/7 Title? PRL: Maybe later. Wall, let's discuss something else. Tonight, you and I are teaming up to take on that jabrony Panther and some partner of his in a tag team match. Now, I know how great you are, so I know that we can take these two head on. You think you can shake off the ring rust and take Panther and his partner down? CUBAN WALL: Boss, it will be my pleasure to rip those two apart, limb from limb. PR: ALRIGHT! GOD, I MISSED YOU GUYS, SO MUCH! The Lightning Crew is back and better than ever! We are the best in the OAOAST today! We have gotten rid of all the weak links in the chain. Spanish Fly. PROTOTYPE. Colombian Heat. They were all weak and undeserving to be in the LC. This is the TRUE Lightning Crew. The REAL Lightning Crew. The 6 of us, and Popick, are going to take over the OAOAST, and with me someday as World Heavyweight Champion, we will rule the OAOAST! It is our destiny! Guys, it's good to be home. VITAMIN X: Same here, P-to-the-R. PRL (trying really hard to think of something to prevent him from laughing at X's comment): Yup. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: I missed you too, sweetie. Tha Puerto Rican and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez kiss, while Popick and X make gagging motions. PRL: Okay. Now, let's do this thing, shall we? THE LIGHTNING CREW: Yeah! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! The crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" as The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick stand in P.R.'s dressing room, smiling and laughing evilly. The booing continues as the scene fades to black. ::FADE TO BLACK:: The show returns to focus on the ring as they return from a commercial break. “Breathe” by Fabolous hits up as the boos instantly come from the fans. The Mad Cappa walks out with a firm snug look on his face. He has a mic in one hand and casually walks down to the ring ignoring all the boos and “Cappa sucks” chants! Cole: “We’re back and here comes Cappa out, who wasn’t on HeldDown! last week.” Coach: “Well he looks confident.” Caboose: “He must be up to something since he is still suspended and he’s out here.” Triple C’s headsets lose functionability. Caboose: (last words heard until it Triple C’s headsets go out completely) “Shit! Not again!” Cappa: “Hey hey hey what’s up people!” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! “I see you are taking it well, especially after THE PATRIOTS kicked your asses!!!” Death threats from the audience hurl towards Cappa at an alarming rate! “Enough about them and let’s talk about the most important subject in the world today and that’s……. The Mad Cappa!” “Asshole” chants from the livid audience! “Let me cut straight to it. At the Lethal Rumble, I, I, I LOST!” The boos are then replaced with cheers! Cappa pauses as he fumes over the cheers but cools off before talking again. “Yes I am suspended, but thanks to my contract, I still had a shot of not being forced out of active competition by going out to win the Rumble. However, that, that, that, I’m not saying his name or otherwise I’m going to explode!” Chants of “Axel” rise up from the crowd in an attempt to get Cappa out of there! “Uh nah! It ain’t workin’ this time Philly Cream Cheese! So of course I get eliminated…..” Cheers pop up again! So Cappa pauses for a brief while but then decides to just keep going on with his little spiel. “I got eliminated so that meant the suspension, that I shouldn’t have received in the first place, is still in effect! So, of course, I tried to come over to Maui but was told at the front gate that I was not allowed in! So, no Cappa on the show last week! You must be wondering why I am out here then! Let me RE-introduce you to……. VINCE RUSCO!” Vince Rusco walks out to boos from the crowd and “Rusco sucks” chants! However, there are also a certain number of people who are wondering who is he. He is dressed up in a NY Giants football jersey and gym shorts, not like his old style of gentlemanly suits. He has his own mic and does the Flair strut down to the ring, eliciting boos! An OAOAST official runs out and hands out Triple C a new set of headsets as they do some sort of non televised audible tests. Rusco: “I would like to say is…. I’m baaaaaaaaaccccckkkkkk!!! HAHAHAHA!” Cappa: (to the crowd) “You are probably wondering why is he back. Hell, you are probably wondering why is he helping ME after I punked him out to get him out for a LONG time!” Rusco: “HEY!” Cappa: “Time heals wounds! I have even forgiven him for making me lose at Anglemania 2! But when time after time after time about the disrespect that I have received from everybody, surprisingly, he’s been the only person who has backed me up in every way not seen by you, the people! When I felt like quitting this organization during my vacation, he talked me out of it! For you see, when Bill Watts suspended me, it was HE helped me when no else did. He is my lawyer! So before I use up my trump card, I would like to ask a certain individual, a certain lady to come out to the ring at this time!” “Vertigo” by U2 plays up as the new GM of HeldDown!, Josie Baker, walks out to cheers from the guys in the crowd! She walks down to the ring with a mic in her own hand. Josie: “What do you want Cappa?” Cappa: “Well Ms. Baker, I am out here to make one last plea to get re-instated. All I ever wanted was active competition, not just some sideshow attraction! At the Lethal Rumble, I was out there with a good number of people, it felt great to be out there, just to fight, just to have a shot at the World title! Since you are not Bill Watts, thank goodness, so I know that you should be more compassionate than he was. So while I’m not asking for a World title shot, at the moment at least, but PLEASE, for the love of God, let me be re-instated!” Josie: “You want back in? After the way you have been acting? It looks like you still haven’t changed since the suspension.” Cappa: (Obviously lying) “I have cooled off a bit since the suspension started.” Josie: “Well, since you are eager for active competition, I’ll tell you what. Since we still have to keep this show running to not bore the fans, here we go. I believe in second chances. So you are hereby re-instated!” Cappa: “WHAT!” Cappa looks shocked and just simply says “thanks”. Josie: “So you boys better get ready for a match tonight!” Rusco: “What do you mean ‘you boys’?!” Josie: “Did I stutter mid life crisis man? Yes, you have a match! Not just some any match. Since you like the ladies so much Cappa after what had done at the Rumble by beating Crystal down when she tried to help you, and even though you did not earn it, you and your lawyer there have a match against…….. CHICKS OVER DICKS! For the OAOAST Tag Team Championships of the World!” Cappa: (In shock) “Finally a tag title shot! You’re kid…..” Rusco: “We can take them no problem! Ain’t that right Caps? Right! Two chicks?” Josie: “Well that settles it. You better get ready cause it’s coming very soon.” The camera that focused on the ring just goes black. So they switch over to the camera on Sofa Central as Triple C are back on the air. Coach: (After tests are considered successful) “Dayum~!” Cole: “We’re eventually going to need better equipment that don’t fu….” Caboose: (Interrupts) “Let’s not go to it right now.” Coach: “You’re right! The reunited team of Cappa and Rusco are going to be in action against the tag team champions, fresh off their wins over the Original Elite and Black T!” Cole: “But why did Rusco just come back after almost 2 years of non activity to just show up out of the blue and be revealed to help out Cappa.” Caboose: “Like Cappa said, time heals wounds or something like that.” Coach: “Just like between you and Alfdogg?” Caboose: “Shut up. There isn’t enough time for that.” Cole: “We need to go to a commercial break…… badly.” (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for ONE FALL~! Suddenly, the Puerto Rican flag appears on the Angletron, and P.R.'s voice can be heard reading the following words, which appear in bold, blocky letters on the Tron. *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* And with that, "Know Your Role 99" hits the PA system! The arena lights go down, and begin flickering on and off as a thick roll of smoke fills the entrance. After a few moments of waiting, the arena fills with boos as the man himself emerges from the back, with Cuban Wall, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick following closely behind. BUFFER Introducing first...representing the Lightning Crew, being accompanied to the ring tonight by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Stephen Joseph Popick, weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of 508 pounds...here is the team of CUBAN WALL, AND THA PUERTOOOO RIIIIIIIIICAAAAN~! Wild boos fill the arena they enter the ring and begin to taunt the crowd. COLE We're just about ready for tag team action here tonight, folks! It's P.R. and Cuban Wall teaming up to take on Panther and a partner of his choice. Of course, there's been an incredible amount of bad blood building up between Panther and P.R. since Anglepalooza! It was just two weeks ago that P.R. in my opinion robbed Panther of his opportunity to challenge for the title at Anglemania... CABOOSE For the last time, Cole--P.R. WAS A LEGAL PARTICIPANT IN THE LETHAL RUMBLE! What he did to Panther at Anglepalooza was perfectly within the rules...not like what Panther went on to do to him later in the Rumble, and certainly not like what Panther tried to do to him and Popick here last week. COLE Well...yes, fans! Last week, Panther came back seeking revenge against P.R. and Popick, attacking them just like they'd attacked him a week earlier! And Panther almost got the job done, but it was a timely run-in from Lindsay Gonzalez that allowed the Corporate Champ to escape with his hide in tact. Tonight, however, Panther gets another chance for payback! Tonight, Panther's returned to his hometown of Philadelphia to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican, and fans, I can't wait to see this... CABOOSE But who's his partner?! Who's he chosen to help him take on the Lightning Crew?! P.R. sticks his head through the ropes and begins to yell at some rowdy fans in the front row, having boos and random obscenities being chanted at him in return. At just that moment, "Know Your Role 99" comes to an abrupt stop "Roc U" by The Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel hits the PA system. The crowd ERUPTS as the video feed switches to a black and red radar screen, at the center of which, a glowing red Panther's head appears after each sonar revolution. After the seventh revolution, the radar fades away, leaving just the glowing Panther's head. All at once, the head zooms forward, and… BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! …we're taken back out to the darkened arena, which is rocked by a HUUUUUUUUUUGE pyro blast. A thick cloud of smoke forms at the entrance, and a bright white spotlight emits from the locker room, highlighting the Panther's silhouette. The light steadily gets brighter as the cymbals begin to clash in the background, each clash accompanied by a bright red spotlight, which highlights a portion of the HeldDOWN set. Finally, at approximately the 23 second mark, the white light begins to flicker and suddenly disappears as the red spotlights converge on the entrance and Panther steps through the smoke and walks to a standing ovation. He exudes confidence as he walks to the edge of the stage, glaring down the ramp at his foes as he slowly raises his arms high above his head--holding the pose as a sole white spotlight flashes upon him to the heavy beat of his music. Then, he snaps his arms down by his sides, cueing the spotlights to disperse about the arena. Panther points at P.R. and makes a throat slashing gesture before starting towards him. BUFFER And their opponents! Introducing first--from PHILADELPHIA, PA (crowd pops), weighing in tonight at 197 pounds, please welcome YOUR Champion of Champions...PAAAAAANTHEEEEEERRRRRRR~! Panther gets another HUGE pop from his hometown crowd, bringing a smile to his face as he gets closer and closer to ringside. He tags the hands of a few fans as he nears the bottom of the ramp, then prepares to slide into the ring. He changes his plans, though, when P.R. and Cuban Wall try to pounce on him, and he warily eyes them from the floor as Stephen Joseph leans over the ropes laughing sinisterly. COLE Panther...somewhat reluctant to step in there... COACH Where's his partner, Cole? Does he have a partner? P.R. asks the same question from the ring as "Roc U" starts to fade from the sound system, allowing the loud chants of "PAN-THER" to become more audible. Panther grits his teeth and sends a firey gaze P.R.'s way, slapping his right shoulder as he prepares to storm the ring. The Lightning Crew representatives invite him in, smilely evily as they back out to the center of the ring, allowing him room to enter. Then, Panther sets himself, taking deep, anxious breaths. And just as he appears ready to charge forward... CUE: "Can I Get A..." by Jay-Z TRIPLE C WHAT THE HELL?!?! Panther's eyes widen with shock as the lights drop, and red and blue spotlights fill the arena. The cameras cut to the entrance as a man dances out onto the stage wearing long blue and red tights and black boots, his medium-length black hair slicked back over his head. A good portion of the crowd recognizes the man, and gives him a good-sized pop as he bumps and grinds on stage. Panther doesn't appear to be as welcoming to the man, as he stands at the bottom of the ramp with his face buried in his right hand. P.R. and Cuban Wall look on, perplexed as the house lights return to normal and the music begins to die down, with small chants of "BLITZ, BLITZ" starting up across the arena. From the stage, the man looks down the ramp at Panther, grinning from ear to ear as he raises a mic to his lips and says... ??? PAAAAAAANTHEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!! WUTS HAPPENIN??!?!?! The crowd pops in the background as at ringside, one of the cameras picks up Panther trying to convince a female fan in the front row that "I have never seen that man before in my life." The man continues... ??? Panther...I guess the secret's out! Ya see Panther, I've been watching the shows lately! I've seen everything that those punk offs, P.R. has been done to you! Attacking you with chairs! Screwing you out of the Lethal Rumble! I saw everything he did, and it totally sucked pinky toe! Well Panther, don't you worry! Don't be sad! Don't even be NOT happy! I said I'd always be by your side, and right here tonight in your hometown of Princton, Minnesota, I'm here to make sure that they pay for what they've done to you! (LOUD boos from the Philly crowd)! See P.R., Poppa-Loppa-Doppicus, you may have thought you got one over on the Champion of Champions, but unfortunately for you, cheese hams, now you've gotta deal with the most biggadicious cat in all the land! The Master Blaster! The King of Swing! The coolest man east side of the West Indies! BRAD BLITZ IS IN THE HOUSE, and together with Panther, I guarantee that me and Panther are gonna absolutely, positively KICK YOUR...BOOT-AAAAAAAY!!!!!! NOW HIT MY MUSIC!!!!!! Suddenly, "Can I Get A..." hits the PA system once more as Blitz sprints down the ramp, running past Panther and sliding into the ring... ...only to get FLOORED by a huge clothesline from Cuban Wall! COACH DAYUM!!! *DING DING DING* COLE The bell has sounded! This one is underway! Look at this... The crowd goes crazy as P.R. and Cuban Wall start putting the boots to Blitz. Popick decides to join in the fun and starts stomping him as well...as does Lindsay Gonzalez. Even NICK PATRICK decides to get a piece of the action! COLE Good God! Brad Blitz is being obliterated in there! COACH Yeah! Even the referee's attacking him! CABOOSE And look at that damn Panther! He's just sitting back allowing this to happen! A mixture of cheers and laughter come up from the crowd as Panther turns his back to the action. He leans up against the ring apron and begins filing his nails as in the ring, Popick and Cuban wall hold Blitz up for P.R., allowing him to blast him with a hard right hand to the gut! Another one doubles him over! Then, they send him into the ropes, and when he rebounds, Cuban Wall lifts him up and drives him into the canvas with a BIG spinebuster! Then, P.R. motions for Lindsay and Popick to step aside, and with a handful of hair, he slowly brings the battered Blitz back to his feet. Blitz is barely able to stand when P.R. catches him with a hard slap to the face! He follows that up with a boot to the midsection that doubles him over, allowing him to slap on a front facelock and deliver the Puerto Rican Nightmare, planting him headfirst into the canvas! COLE Puerto Rican Nightmare! By P.R. to Brad Blitz! CABOOSE And I think it's safe to say that he's done! Indeed. Cuban Wall rolls the lifeless wrestler onto the floor next to Panther. Panther's hardly mourning over his partner's injuries as he turns back to face the ring, at which point P.R. greets him with a smile. "One down, one to go," says the Lightning Crew leader as he begins motioning for Panther in "Just Bring It" fashion. Far from intimidated, Panther flashes his trademark smirk and cracks his knuckles before sliding into the ring! COLE Here we go! Panther hits the ring, and now this thing is really underway! The crowd's cheers quickly turn to boos as P.R. and Cuban Wall go right at him, knocking him to his knees with a series of clubbing forearms to the top and back of his head. The pair then lift him up and sends him in with a double team Irish whip. As Panther comes off, they try for a double clothesline, but Panther has the presence of mind to duck under and continue to the other side. P.R. and Cuban Wall turn around, looking to intercept him as he comes off, but both men end up tasting canvas courtesy of a double running front dropkick from the Champ of Champs! The crowd pops as Panther returns to his feet, imploring his foes to rise as they scramble to regain a vertical base! P.R.'s finds his feet first, and Panther comes right at him with a hard right hand, sending him straight back to the mat! Cuban Wall's up shortly after and tries to catch Panther from behind with a clothesline...but Panther spies him from the corner of his eye and acts quickly enough to counter, hooking him up on the follow through and dumping him overhead with a T-Bone suplex, to the crowd's delight. The crowd's cheers are silenced when P.R. catches Panther with a quick right hand to the head, staggering him. He follows that up with a knife-edge chop that sends him staggering into the ropes. P.R. then takes Panther's hand and sends him in with an Irish whip, rearing back with his right hand as he waits for Panther to come off the ropes. Panther sees this coming, however, and baseball slides through his legs, coming to his feet behind him and driving him into the ropes with a rear waistlock! Panther tries for a roll up--BUT NO! P.R. hooks the top rope, and Panther goes rolling back out to the center of the ring. P.R. points at his head with his index finger (indicating that he's got brains) before turning back to Panther and charging his way for a spinning wheel kick! Unfortunately for him, Panther manages to duck under the move, and Cuban Wall ends up catching it flush on the jaw and goes tumbling to the outside! CABOOSE NO!!! COLE P.R. just nailed his own partner!!!! Cuban Wall just sent tumbling to the outside...P.R. can't believe it! P.R. pounds the canvas with frustration before turning back to face Panther...only to be floored with another right hand! Panther then takes off into the ropes, and when P.R. finds his feet this time, he gets sent right back down via a running front elbow! The Corporate Champ groggily returns back to his feet, at which point, Panther grabs him for a T-Bone. The crowd begins to clamor! COLE Panther's got P.R. hooked! What are we getting set to see right here?! P.R. struggles to break free, but to no avail as Panther drags him over to the ropes and T-Bones him up over the top rope, causing him to land right on top of Cuban Wall, who had just returned to his feet on the outside! The buzz in the arena is deafening as Lindsay Gonzalez and and Popick head over to that side of the ring to try and calm things down. COLE Things not going too well for the Lightning Crew here in the early going! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall unable to get the upper hand on Panther thus far--WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! On the outside, an angry Cuban Wall shoves P.R., bringing a scowl to the face of the Corporate Champ! COLE We've got a situation on the outside, fans! Cuban Wall...perhaps taking exception to that errant spinkick from a few moments ago! Lindsay and Popick step in between the men, hoping to prevent tempers from flaring. P.R. begins to mouth off to his partner as in the background, we hear the fans starting to stir once more! CABOOSE Guys... COLE Panther...Panther's up top! CABOOSE P.R....LOOK OUT!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOH~!" The crowd roars its approval as Panther leaps from the top rope, taking all four individuals down with a corkscrew plancha!!!!! Panther pulls himself from the pileup on the outside and rolls back into the ring, where he begins to play to the crowd. COLE What an ovation for Panther from this crowd here in Philadelphia! The Lightning Crew having their problems on the outside, and at the moment, the Champion of Champions is cooking! Panther's got Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall on the run! Fans, we've gotta take a quick commercial break! Don't go away! This match will continue on the other side. ::COMMERCIAL BREAK:: The Puerto Rican and Panther are in the ring punching each other's faces as HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial break. COLE: Welcome back fans, if you're just joining us, The Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall are taking on Panther in what was *suppose* to be a tag team match, but Panther's partner was taken out by the two Lightning Crew members and now Panther is stuck wrestling a handicap match! CABOOSE: And not a moment too soon. That little scrub had no right to be in an OAOAST ring, and PR and CW made sure to kick him back to the curb. PR and Panther continue their fighting as the crowd cheers Panther on. P.R. Irish whips Panther to the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, but Panther ducks, and hits P.R. with a clothesline of his own. Panther goes for the pin, but PR kicks out at two. The Corporate Champ immediatley gets up, but Panther arm drags him back down. Tha Puerto Rican gets back up, so PR charges towards Panther, and gets a superkick in return. Panther goes for the cover. 1... 2... Cuban Wall kicks Panther in the head to break the count. COLE: And Cuban Wall comes in the nick of time to save his boss. CABOOSE: PRL would have kicked out anyway. No way would have Panther pinned him after that weak superkick. COLE: Panther is going back to work on "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. Panther picking up P.R. and giving him several uppercuts. Panther shoves PRL into the ropes, and nails him in the stomach with several punches. He shoves PRL into the ropes again, and fires with some more punches. This continues two more times, before Panther grabs P.R. and whips him into the ropes again. Panther follows that up with a spinebuster, and then heads out of the ring. The crowd cheers as Panther raises one fist in the air, and then leaps to the top rope and does a slingshot hilo onto Tha Puerto Rican, causing "The Corporate Champion" to groan. Panther goes for the pin again, but Cuban Wall kicks Panther in the head to break it up at two. As the referee forces Wall to go back to his corner, PR takes the time to lowblow Panther. COLE: And now PRL with a lowblow! What a dirty trick, when the ref wasn't looking! CABOOSE: PRL is a master of the game, Cole. He outmatches Panther in every catergory, and PRL is just showing this to Panther tonight. PR tags in Cuban Wall which causes the crowd to boo. Wall takes over where PRL left off, by beating on Panther. He lays into the Champion Of Champions with lefts and rights. He then whips Panther to the ropes, and then gives him a sidewalk slam. COLE: Wall, the big man, is now in control, and now is just beating Panther. Cuban Wall beats on Panther some more as "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" is heard throughout the arena. Wall and PRL tell the crowd to shut up, but to no avail, as Cuban Wall begins with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms on Panther's neck and back. Wall then takes Panther to his boss's corner, where the man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning holds his right foot up, so Wall can throw Panther's face into it. Wall then picks up Panther and throws him into the turnbuckle, where he attacks Panther with lefts and rights. Wall then stops and allows PRL to grab the tag rope and choke Panther with it. The crowd boos. COLE: And PR continues with the obvious cheating, taking out Panther with the ring rope. CABOOSE: Hey, hey, hey. He's doing the exact same thing Panther would do in this situation. Don't tell me any different. COLE: Panther wouldn't do anything this horrible, and you know it. COACH: Actually, I think he would. COLE: You're not helping Coach! Cuban Wall grabs Panther, and holds in like he is about to do a Fallaway Slam (Bradshaw's "Last Call"), but then slams Panther's back into the turnbuckle. He's not done yet, as he runs to another turnbuckle, and slams Panther's back into that one, then to a third turnbuckle, doing the exact same thing, and then to the last turnbuckle, doing another charge towards the turnbuckle, and then finishes with a bodyslam. Cuban Wall then tags in Tha Puerto Rican. PR stands over Panther with a smug look on his face. He then pumps up his boots, heads to the ropes, stops, shakes his shoulders, and dusts off his right shoulder, then drops his right fist onto Panther, completing the Five Knuckle Shuffle. PR goes for the cover. 1.... 2.... KICKOUT! PR beats on Panther some more, and then picks him up. Tha Puerto Rican does a vertical suplex on Panther. Follow by another vertical suplex. PRL rolls up and then lifts Panther up for the third one. He holds onto Panther for a few seconds, which causes the crowd to applaud. PRL walks to the ropes, still holding Panther. He does the "You Can't See Me!" hand signal, and then does a slingshot suplex on Panther. COLE: What an amazing display of atheliticism by Tha Puerto Rican. He may be arrogrant. He may be annoying. But he is an incredible performer and one of the best wrestlers in the OAOAST today. CABOOSE: PRL calls that the "Corporate" Trifecta. COLE: The Corporate Trifecta? CABOOSE: Yes. That's how a Corporate Champion is suppose to do suplexes. COLE: Anyway, PRL picks up Panther. Belly-To-Back suplex. Now, PRL heads to the ropes. And he hits a rolling thunder. "The Corporate Champion" stops to pose for the fans. The fans boo loudly and chant "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. gives flips them off, and heads to the top rope. COACH: P.R. must feel great to be back in the OAOAST. CABOOSE: Oh hells yeah. He is on a mission to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Something he would have been close to doing at Anglepalooza, if it weren't for that jealous bastard, Panther! It's Panther's fault that PRL isn't in the main event at AngleMania! PR stands on the top rope, and removes his left elbow pad. He throws it into the crowd, and then leaps off the top rope, doing the "Up Yours!" Hand Signal as he soars through the air, and then drops the elbow on Panther's chest. CABOOSE: That's the Corporate Elbow Drop! COLE: Wait a second. I thought it was the FU Elbow Drop? CABOOSE: Not anymore. You see, since he's The Corporate Champion, he has to have a corporate makeover, and that makeover includes renaming his moves. For instance, the FU Elbow Drop is no more. It is now to be refered to as the Corporate Elbow Drop. COLE (sarcastically): I'll try to keep that in mind. PR goes for the cover. One! Two! And Three? Hegothim! Nohedidn't! PRL yells out an audible "FUCK!" and then kicks Panther when he's down. PRL then picks up Panther again and whips him into the ropes. Panther goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks, and gives him a German Suplex. He follows with a second German Suplex. And then a third German Suplex. The crowd boos loudly. COACH: PRL with the Hat Trick. And now he's going for a submission! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is going for a sharpshooter, but Panther kicks out of it. P.R. grabs Panther again, but Panther grabs P.R. and forces him into a small package. 1....2....KICK OUT! Panther and PR get up at the same time, and bump into each other, then engage in a staredown. The crowd cheers, rooting Panther on, as Cuban Wall and Stephen Joseph Popick cheer PR on. PR shoves Panther, but Panther shoves back. P.R. shoves again, and Panther shoves again. The two engage in a staredown, trash talking each other, and then begin brawling. Panther gets the advantage, punching P.R. into a turnbuckle. He goes to whip P.R. into the turnbuckle, but P.R. holds on, and throws Panther into said turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican then attacks Panther with chop after knife edged chop with the crowd doing "WOOOOOOs!" the entire time. PRL whips Panther into the opposite turnbuckle, and then follows with a Stinger Splash. With Panther dazed, P.R. lifts Panther up in a Burning Hammer position. The crowd stands up as P.R. is about to do a Burning Hammer. COLE: P.R. is going for the Burning Hammer! The same move that he used on Panther a few weeks ago! P.R. doesn't do the Burning Hammer, however, as Panther escapes, grabs P.R. in a 3/4 headlock, and goes for the Panther Cutter, but P.R. escapes out of that, and goes to kick Panther in the face. However, Panther grabs P.R.'s foot, but P.R. strikes back with an enzuguri that knocks Panther to the mat. P.R. laughs evilly. COLE: Tha Puerto Rican with that amazing enzuguri! CABOOSE: The best in the business! That enzuguri right there is the best in the business, no question! PR stops to pose some more recieving boos. THA PUERTO RICAN: I'M THE MAN, BABY! PR then applies a chinlock on Panther, as the crowd takes this time to try and bring Panther back by clapping in unison. The crowd chants "PANTHER! PANTHER! PANTHER! PANTHER!" PRL tells the crowd to shut up as he continues applying the chinlock. Panther starts to show life, as the crowd gets hotter. The crowd continues chanting "PANTHER! PANTHER!" as Panther gets up on one knee. He gets up on another knee, and then elbows PRL to escape the chinlock. Panther heads to the ropes, but P.R. stops him with a spinebuster. The crowd stands up and starts booing even louder as PRL trashtalks Panther and then stands over him. PRL gets into position to deliver the Puerto Rico Elbow. COLE: Oh no. CABOOSE: Oh yes Cole! COACH: Oh please don't tell me. Popick cheers P.R. on as he removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down on Panther's face. He does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Panther, and then bounces off the other ropes. He stops, and then drops the Puerto Rico Elbow on Panther to a face pop. CABOOSE: That's the IntenseZone Elbow! COLE: Wait? The what?! CABOOSE: That's the IntenseZone Elbow! That is PRL's way of paying tribute to his former show by doing the Most Electrifying Move in Professional Wrestling NOT Sports-Entertainment! He did that move so many times on iZ that he renamed the Puerto Rico Elbow after it. COLE: That is absolutely ridicolous! It's obvious that PRL is kissing up to Popick by doing that. He just wants to please his master anyway possible! CABOOSE: MASTER? What are you talking about? COLE: Popick is just controlling P.R.! He's nothing but a Corporate Puppet! Renaming his moves "Corporate" this and "Corporate" that. Doing whatever he saids. He said he would eliminate himself from the Lethal Rumble, or else his partnership with Popick would end! He's become Popick's slave just so that he could become World Heavyweight Champion! CABOOSE: Now you wait just a minute there, Michael Cole! P.R. is many things, but he is NOT a puppet! He's renaming his moves because he's the "CORPORATE" Champion! He has the IntenseZone Elbow as TRIBUTE to his manager! I don't see any signs that Popick is controlling P.R. in any way. COACH: Atleast be happy that P.R. named a move something other than "Corporate". COLE: Well, look closely and you'll see it. It's been this way since day one! P.R. goes for the pin, but Popick tells him to keep attacking. Cuban Wall asks for a tag, but P.R. tells Wall that he wants to continue beating on Panther. Wall looks a little annoyed, but lets P.R. beat on Panther with some European Uppercuts. P.R. then grabs Panther, and gives him the Dangerous DDT. P.R. raises the Corporate Eyebrow, and then tags in Wall. COLE: And now the big man is in the ring, once again. Cuban Wall picks up Panther and lifts him up. He spins him around, and then brings him down with the Wallbreaker (A-Train's Train Wreck a.k.a. Raises the opponent onto a Razor's Edge position, but then kneels down and does a backbreaker on the right shoulder). Panther screams in pain and grabs his back as Wall gets up and does the slow cut throat. Cuban Wall heads to the ropes, heads to the other ropes, and then does a splash. The Lightning Crew Splash! COLE: The Lightning Crew Splash! There it is! Cuban Wall's finishing move! It's all over! Cuban Wall goes for the cover, but PRL stops him. He demands that he gets the cover. Cuban Wall questions why PRL wants the cover, and argues with him. Popick and P.R. demand that P.R. get the cover, as the crowd boos and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" COLE: Is this a sign of disension in The LC camp? Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican are arguing! CABOOSE: No, it's not a sign of disension, Cole! Stop being so negative and looking into everything with a cynical outlook! P.R. and Wall are just having a little disagreement! Nothing big! They're get over it. There's no problems whatsoever. Everything is fine in The Lightning Crew. Cuban Wall is more than a little annoyed, as the crowd eggs him on with "P.R. SUCKS!" chants, but he finally does tag in Tha Puerto Rican, who is really giddy as he picks up the dazed and tired Panther off the mat. P.R. slaps Panther more than once which makes the crowd boo him more. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican kicks Panther in the gut, and then gives him the P.R. Nightmare. COLE: And now, P.R. with the P.R. Nightmare. CABOOSE: That's the Corporate Nightmare! COLE: Now what? The Corporate Nightmare? ANOTHER name change? CABOOSE: Yes, that's what I said. That is now known as the Corporate Nightmare! COACH: Well, no matter what the name of the move is, Panther just got hit a dangerous move, and is now down on the mat. The crowd boos goes for the cover, but Popick tells him not to. Popick tells him to go for another move. P.R. agrees and has an evil smile on his face as he picks up Panther. The crowd is confused. COLE: Wait a second, what's P.R. doing now? He just pinned Panther with the Corporate Nightmare! What's he going to do now? CABOOSE: I think he's going for the Burning Hammer again. COACH: Oh no. The crowd boos as Cuban Wall and Popick order P.R. to lift Panther up. The Corporate Champ lifts the Champ Of Champs and puts him on his shoulders. The man who used to be known as The Lightning Kid parades around the ring with Panther on his shoulders, laughing his arrogrant, cocky laugh. Some fans flip him off, but P.R. ignores it. Suddenly, Panther slips out again, and grabs P.R. in a 3/4 headlock. This time, he is able to follow that move with the Panther Cutter! COLE: PANTHER CUTTER! PANTHER CUTTER! PANTHER CUTTER OUT OF NOWHERE! COACH: PANTHER IS NOW GOING FOR THE COVER! Panther indeed covers PRL. 1.... 2..... 3!!! *DING DING DING* (7:57) "State Prop (You Know Us)" fires up, as Panther raises his fists in victory with the crowd cheering wildly. The referee raises his arms as Popick throws a tantrum outside the ring, and Cuban Wall curses in frustration. MICHAEL BUFFER: The winner of this match....PANNNTTHHHHHHEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! COLE: Panther suprised Tha Puerto Rican with that Panther Cutter out of nowhere! And now Panther has once again gotten the best of PRL! First at Anglepalooza, and now this week on HeldDOWN~! by pinning him in the ring 1, 2, 3! What a great victory for Panther! CABOOSE: OH COME ON! THIS IS CRAP! TOTAL CRAP! THA PUERTO RICAN WASN'T PREPARED FOR SUCH A DEVESTATING MOVE! PANTHER CAUGHT HIM OFF GUARD! HE SHOULD HAVE WARNED HIM ABOUT DOING IT! COACH: That's the great thing about the Panther Cutter! It comes out of nowhere! And P.R. just happened to be the victim of it this time around! CABOOSE: Unbelieveable! That sneaky Panther! COLE: I don't think you can find any conspiracy theories here, Caboose! Panther beat Tha Puerto Rican fair and fair in the middle of the ring. He took advantage of PRL's over confidence and used it to hit the Panther Cutter and pin him cleanly in the ring. CABOOSE: Oh, there's a conspiracy theory in everything! Including this! I can find one! Trust me. You'll see! Tha Puerto Rican holds his head in disbelief as he sits down in the ring. He sneers at Panther, and then looks at Cuban Wall, and orders him to get something. Panther is still in the ring, celebrating his victory as "State Prop (You Know Us)" continues playing. COLE: P.R. and Panther engaged in another war this week, and Panther came out the winner. But I don't think this feud between the two of them will end anytime soon. COACH: If P.R. has anything to say about it, it won't. We all know how much he hates losing, and we all know how he like to get payback as soon as possible. Cuban Wall enters the ring with a chair, and hits Panther in the back with it. CABOOSE: I think P.R.'s getting his payback right now! "State Prop (You Know Us)" stops, and is replaced by the sound of the crowd booing, as Cuban Wall assaults Panther with the steel chair. P.R. orders Panther to continue the attack, while laying the boots to Panther. The referee tries to get them to stop, but Stephen Joseph Popick throws the ref out of the ring. The three men beatdown on Panther with the chair, with Panther screaming in pain. COLE: And once again, a chair plays into this situation! It's like the chair has become a focal point of this feud! Every week these two men are using chairs on each other. It's become their weapon of choice! COACH: These two men just love chairs. They refuse to use anything else. CABOOSE: And look what a good job The Lightning Crew and Popick are doing with chairs. Look at them just DESTROY Panther with that chair! He deserves it too! Sneaking away with that tainted victory against Tha Puerto Rican right now! That sneaky bastard! COLE: The LC is just decimating Panther! Popick calls out the rest of The LC, and they all come out: Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Thomas Rodriguez, and Mr. Boricua. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick beatdown on Panther, using the chair, their fists, and their boots. The crowd boos loudly chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" as The LC continue their vicious assault. COLE: Oh why can't they just stop this?! He's had enough! Panther's had enough! Stop it! Just stop it! Popick's apart of corporate. Why doesn't he stop this? COACH: He's abusing his power! That's what he's doing! The Lightning Crew picks up Panther. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall both clasp their right hands over Panther's throat. They lift Panther up, and give him a chokeslam. Vitamin X then does the Lethal Injection (STF) while PR lays the boots to him. He lets go, and then gives Panther to Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua puts Panther between his legs, and then gives him The Lightning Crew Bomb (Powerbomb). The Lightning Crew continue beating on Panther, when suddenly the crowd starts cheering, as Tina runs towards the ring. COLE: Tina is out here! COACH: She's come to take care of The Lightning Crew! CABOOSE: Ah, keep dreaming. Does a woman think she can handle all 6 members of The Lightning Crew AND Stephen Joseph Popick?!!! Puh-leeze! Tina heads into the ring, and dares the LC to attack. Mr. Boricua is the first to attack, and she takes the big guy down with punches. Cuban Wall tries next, but Tina stops him with the DDTina. Vitamin X charges at her, but she ducks a clothesline, and lowblows him. Thomas Rodriguez tries to run away, but Tina grabs him, and asks the crowd if they want her to punch him. The crowd answers with a resounding "YES!", so Tina knocks the poor skinny referee out with one punch. COLE: Tina has just taken out The Lightning Crew! Tina has just taken out The Lightning Crew! CABOOSE: Bffft. Lucky shot. Tina moves towards PR and Popick, but the two friends/associates aren't worry about Panther's woman. As she moves closer, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez grabs her, and gives her a huge slap. Tina answers with her own huge slap. The crowd groans with each slap. Lindsay fires with another slap, and then Tina does another one. Then Tina follows by ripping off Lindsay's white dress shirt, leaving Lindsay in just a white lacey bra and a grey skirt with black heels. Lindsay is shocked, but she rips off Tina's Superwoman tanktop, leaving her in a black bra and red pants. The male portion of the crowd is loving every moment of this. COACH: Woo-Hoo! We got ourselves a bra and panties match going right now! COLE: The girlfriends of Panther and Tha Puerto Rican are now getting into it! CABOOSE: And maybe, they're get it *on* if you know what I mean! COLE: Ewww. CABOOSE: Why'd you say "ewww"? COLE: Just the thought of two women having sex. That's just gross. Now two men. Now that's hot! Lindsay and Tina stare at each other, but instead of getting it on, they're fighting. The two women throw lefts and rights, and then Tina spears Lindsay down, and the two women are rolling on the floor, fighting. The crowd is still cheering throughout all of this, while PR and Popick watch. They seem to be enjoying it. COLE: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT~!!! COACH: THIS IS GREAT! CABOOSE: I gotta agree with Coach on that one! Ewww. The two girls roll around the floor, until PR and Panther break it up. The crowd boos that decision. COACH: OH NO! COME ON! LET THEM FIGHT! DAMNIT! LET THEM FIGHT! PLEASE!!! COLE: PR and Panther have stopped the catfight from going any further, and have seperated the two females. P.R. and Panther go to opposite corners. P.R., for once, DOESN'T want Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez to be exposed to the world, so he covers up her chest as much as he can, while at the same time copping a feel. Panther, suprisingly, doesn't cover Tina up, and just lets her go after Lindsay, shirtless and all. PR, Lindsay, and Popick hurry out of the ring, where The Lightning Crew all are already lying in. COLE: Panther scored a victory over Tha Puerto Rican tonight, but rest assured, that this rivalry these two have has yet to be completed. CABOOSE: Panther may have cheated to win tonight, but he will get his. Just like PR eliminated him from the Lethal Rumble, Panther will get what's coming to him. Just watch. Tha Puerto Rican will have the last laugh. Just. You. Wait! "You Gets No Love (Remix)" by Faith Evans featuring G-Dep starts playing as Panther and Tina stay in the ring. Tina and Panther trash talk P.R. and Lindsay. The Lightning Crew is already up the ramp, while P.R., Lindsay, and Popick all stand near the ring, Lindsay still shirtless, and yelling. PR makes veil threats at Panther and walks up the ramp. COLE: Well, once again Tha Puerto Rican/Panther feud has taken an interesting turn, as Panther now holds a victory over The Corporate Champion, who I'm sure, won't take that sitting down. CABOOSE: He cheated Cole! He cheated! He cheated to beat Tha Puerto Rican! COLE: You just can't handle the fact that someone beat your oh-so-perfect "Corporate Champion" fair and square! CABOOSE: Oh I would handle it well. Panther DID cheat. He DID cheat to beat Tha Puerto Rican! It's not fair damnit! It's not fair! COACH: That's our Caboose! CABOOSE: Oh, do shut up! Tina stands in the ring, and poses for the crowd, who hoot and holler for the shirtless manager. She does some more posing, showing no embarassment in being seen by thousands of horny men half naked. COLE: Hey, Tina seems pretty relaxed being in front of the crowd in her bra. CABOOSE: That's because the "lovely" Tina is just a little hoochie mama. She ain't no lady like Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Now there's a woman! COACH: Hey, I have no problem with this. Tina is hot! HOT! Infact, uh, I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom. Coach drops his headset and rushes to the bathroom. Tina, meanwhile, is still posing with Panther just giving the crowd a smirk. Tina waves to the crowd smiling, and then leaves the ring. COLE: And with that disturbing comment, we'll be right back after this on HeldDOWN~!. Panther and Tina leave the ring as "You Gets No Love (Remix)" continues playing. Tina continues waving to the crowd as they walk up the ramp and through the curtain. The screen fades to black. ::FADE TO BLACK:: (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Edited February 11, 2005 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 COLE Wow, that match/segment/commercial was really good! COACH Don't you remember what it was? COLE I'm high on soap! COACH Uh, well before our next segment, we have an annoucement regarding the Disciples of Chaos. Last week, they appeared to attack Dan Black and the other members of The Original Elite. It has since transpired that the Elite was in fact a group of T.O.E. impersonators hired by the DoC. COLE I played Zack!!! COACH Yeah...um, the OAOAST apologises for this deception on the part of the Disciples of Chaos, to the fans and to Black T, who, I quote "don't even know who the bloody jobbers are". CABOOSE What's their gimmick anyway, do they refuse to tidy their bedrooms when their Mom tells them? COLE Yeah, and they eat soap too!!!! What's next!!! It's time for more backstage shenanigans~! as the Love Doctors grab a moment with Tony Schiavone, in town for a Star Trek convention. Tony is wearing a pair of vulcan ears. SCHIAVONE I'm here for a special interview with two of the hottest talents in the OAOAST today - that's right, it's the Love Doctors! Truly, this is the greatest night in the history of our sport! How are you, Docs? Dr.Max Anderson and Dr.Steven Pigley are wearing white lab coats as usual, but tonight have added golden stethoscopes to their ensemble. The HIYAH tag titles are draped over their shoulders. MAX Tony- we're doing great. Titles, money, women, good looks - the Docs have got it all. You've seen us defending the HIYAH titles with honor in recent weeks, and we're looking forward to continuing in that manner. TONY Now, you suffered a defeat to GPX last week in the Anderson Cup, which- STEVEN Woh. Stop right there. The only reason we lost that match was a BLATANT low blow. Now, I don't know about you, but the last time I checked, a low blow is an illegal move in professional wrestling. It's against the rules. It's wrong. It's like the New New Midnight Express getting an original gimmick. It's like Black T breaking up their circle jerk party with Jim Ross. It's like Hell's Hitmen scoring double figures on an IQ test. It's like- *RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAR* The Docs and Tony jump. Behind them is the massive shape of JINGUS. Pigley swallows. STEVEN So, uh, yeah, we should have beaten GPX. And, er...next question? Schiavone, paralysed by fear, stares at the monsterous Devilman. He clutches his heart and slowly collapses to the floor. JINGUS looks down at him curiously. JINGUS Hmm. I've got to stop doing that to people. You guys want to help him out? Kiss of life and all that? Max and Steven look at each other. MAX Ah...we just got facials, I don't want to..er...impair Tony's medical treatment by exposing him to chemicals he might be allergic too. The Docs and JINGUS watch Schiavone writhing on the ground. Mercifully, paramedics rush in and tend to the stricken announcer. JINGUS And I thought you were the good guys round here. STEVEN We are! Look, we're handsome, we're athletic, we're sexy, we're brave- JINGUS What's that? You're brave? Really...that's very interesting. Because my tag team partner and I, we feel in the mood for a match. A title match. What do you say? Max and Steven look at each other and laugh derisively. MAX You guys? A title match? Um, you do know that traditionally, champions are the BEST wrestlers with the BEST look? Not ugly freaks whose idea of wrestling is "ME SMASH! ME KILL!" JINGUS's eyes glow red beneath his mask. JINGUS If you're so sure of your championship credentials, you'll accept the match. STEVEN Ok, sure. Why the "Hell" not? Get it? Get it Tony? Steven nudges Tony, who's now on a stretcher, almost knocking him off. JINGUS Zero Hour. We'll see you there. JINGUS suddenly leans forward and grabs both title belts from the shoulders of the Docs. He holds them up, inspecting each one. With a satisfied grunt, he drops them to the ground. His eyes flash once more before moving off. The Docs grab up their straps, glaring at the Devilman's retreating back as we go back to Triple C! COLE Well, it's time to get serious now as earlier this week, I was asked by Bil... CABOOSE No you weren't. COLE ...Fine. I was ordered...pre-ordered...by former OAOAST GM Bill Watts to conduct a sitdown interview with the X-Division Champion, Leon Rodez. You all saw, of course, the footage from last week. And, this was Leon's chance to set the record straight. Let's take you to it... *************** Cut to Michael Cole and a solemn, smartly dressed Leon Rodez, holding his OAOAST X-Division Title belt...sat face to face. COLE Leon...I understand this must be tough for you, so, I will try my best to keep this dignified. But of course, you have been asked to do this by Bill Watts. We...everyone at the OAOAST, is wondering what exactly the issue is here. We haven't been told anything. Except, that YOU, would set the issue straight. So, please, feel free to explain in your own time, just what the situation is. Rodez stops. Wiping a hand over his face, it's clear he's not too comfortable with the whole situation. Rodez look down at his X-Title though and takes a deep breath, before looking back up at Cole. RODEZ As you may have saw, at an OAOAST house show event two Saturdays ago, I was confronted by a fan outside of the arena, who wanted me to sign an autograph for him. Obviously, there's no problem there. That's what we do. That's part of the show. The fans pay their money to see the house show, so we show our appreciation after the show by giving up five minute post show, sign autographs, shake hands...that's...that's normal. But, on that night, it wasn't 'normal'. See, on that night...the one thing I have been DREADING my entire career happened. Somebody... Taking a deep breath, Rodez sighs. RODEZ ...somebody recognised me. From...my past. COLE Did you know this person? RODEZ Nope. It was just some guy, some random fan. Could have been anyone. But the fact is, he knew who I was. He knew what I did for a living before I got my OAOAST try-out and got my contract. He knew...what I did, before I got into this business. See...before...I was a wrestler. I...wa...can, can I get a glass of water or something? Cole nods and quickly hands Rodez a glass of water from the table next to him. Rodez takes a big swig of the water, before placing it beside him, taking another deep sigh. COLE Please Leon, carry on. Before you were a wrestler, you were... RODEZ ...apornstar. COLE I'm sorry, what? RODEZ A pornstar. I was in the porn business. Cole's eyebrows raise a little as Rodez looks a little ashamed of himself, trying to avoid eye-contact with the 'veteran' announcer. COLE Well...uhm..that explains the videotape... RODEZ Yeah, that was one of my 'works'. Featuring myself and the 'Banana Splitz'. Anna and Hannah Banana...the full 'are you sure you've never heard of Vince Russo' deal. Anyway, this fan had obviously recognised me from the video and come along, specifically to confront me about it. And obviously, Bill Watts wasn't too happy when he found out his X-Division Champion was once an XXX Champion, if you catch my drift. COLE So... Looking as uncomfortable as Rodez right about now, Cole pauses as he tries to find an appropriate next question. COLE ...we were told, that you were suspended pending a meeting with the board of directors. Have there been any devlopments there? RODEZ Yeah. That's why I'm here. See, I spoke to Bill about the issue and he wasn't happy because as part of my contract, obviously the OAOAST reserve all rights to use of my image. So, if I'm on contract making videos without profits going to the OAOAST, I'm robbing them of money. Just the same as if Chris Bryte were doing commercials for Viagra in his spare time. The problem wasn't just to do with me being an ex-pornstar. But...there were problems with that. So, I spoke to Bill and assured him that I haven't made any videos since joining the OAOAST, so haven't broken my agreement with the company. And therefore, I haven't committed 'gross misconduct' of whatever he called it. COLE So, the suspension is lifted. RODEZ Yes. COLE And no punishment. RODEZ Well, they said I had to set the record straight before I could get back into action. Hence, this interview. COLE Are you at all ashamed of your former career? RODEZ I wouldn't say that. I just, didn't want it to affect my career, you know. I wanted to make it for my wrestling ability, just like everyone else. Did I want people to know about it? Not particularly. Because, you get a reputation. But, am I ashamed? ...no. Cole looks surprised, but tries to hide it. Failing miserably. RODEZ ...do YOU think I should be ashamed? COLE Well, no. I mean, if it's in your past...we've all had jobs we're not particularly proud of, you know. I should know, believe me. RODEZ That's not what I asked. Let me ask you something Mikey, would YOU be ashamed if YOU were found to be an ex-pornstar. COLE That's not going to happen... RODEZ Well, duh. But still, answer the question...would you be ashamed? COLE Well...I...I guess, I would, a little. RODEZ Have you ever watched a pornographic movie Michael? Turning bright red, Cole laughs nervously. Embarrassment...Michael Cole be thy name. RODEZ Come on Mikey, buddy, we're all adults here. I'm not your mom and I haven't just uncovered your secret stash of Swimsuit Monthly and a heap of sticky tissues under your bed. Have you watched a porn movie before? COLE Well...yeah, I...I have... RODEZ Exactly. People have got to get their rocks off some how. Cole starts to choke as he swallows a mouthful of spit in shock, Rodez smiling to himself as he offers Cole his water. Cole takes it and tries not to make a fuss, as he guzzles down the water. RODEZ Bill Watts seemed to think I should be ashamed too. But, I'm not. So I did a bunch of movies where I have sex with hot, horny women. Does that really make me a BAD person? Does it make me a bad person to be providing people with adult entertainment, a form of entertainment that MANY, MANY men enjoy viewing. It's not like they're watching to see me anyway. I strictly refused to do anything remotely homosexual. I'm just the thing that's drilling the chick you're looking at while you fa... COLE Uhm...can, can we please tone this down just a touch Leon. RODEZ Oh, of course. Sex is bad, right? That's why I'm here! Right? COLE Well... RODEZ Have you ever had sex Mikey? COLE Hey, this isn't about me, this is about you. And, I am honestly glad to see this issue resolved as you certainly are an outstanding talent. High appetite for sex aside. We hope to see you in the ring again real soon Leon and because I really want to wrap this interview up before I suffer any more embarrassment, do you have any last comment Leon? RODEZ Well, seeing as you're here, I was expecting you to have returned that copy of the video by now... Eyes raised, Cole coughs, trying to cover up somehow. COLE I...was thinking more of...well, in the circumstances, some sort of 'moral to the story' if you will. RODEZ Uhm...well, the best advice I ever got was 'Check she's eighteen before tickling her spleen'. That do? COLE ...wise words. Thank you, Leon Rodez. *************** COACH He was a PORN-STAR!?! COLE Yup. COACH I LOVE pornstars! CABOOSE Male ones? COACH ...not so much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 COLE Anyway. Before the tag team title match gets underway, I’d like to inform our fans....Well, our fans with money to burn, about a unique opportunity. The OAOAST has teamed up with Ebay.com and the Humane Society of America to bring to you a very unique charity auction. With this auction you have a chance to bid on an all expense paid trip to the March third edition of HeldDOWN~! Folks, that’s just the appetizer. Here’s the main course, you get to spend that Thursday evening with none other then Alix Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan in your own private luxury box! The proceeds go to the Humane Society of America! (The Auction!) COACH Humane Society, eh? I can think of two pussies I wouldn’t mind petting. Puurrrrrrrfect. Heh. One and then the two Two and then the three Three and then the four Then you gotta BREATHE Then you gotta.. Then you gotta.. As Breathe plays, the crowd poisons the air with their hatred for The Mad Cappa. The entrance doors split apart allowing the man himself and his tag team partner, Vince Rusco to step onto the entrance stage. Loose jeans barely staying around his waist, Cappa sports a sly grin and keeps his a baseball bat slung over his shoulders. Rusco, wearing a NY Giants football jersey and gym shorts, does the Shawn Michaels dancing routine at the top of the ramp, eliciting quite the negative response from the Philly fanbase. BUFFER The following is a match for the professional wrestling tag team championship of the world. It is sanctioned by the Pennsylvania state athletic commission and the OAOAST. The referee for this contest is Billy Silverman. First from the Suburbs of Northern Virginia...weighing in at one hundred eighty three pounds he is widely regarded as the greatest Puerto Rican champion of all time....THE MAD CAPPAAAAA! And his partner from Las Vegas, Nevada...weighing one hundred and seventy five pounds.....VINCE RUSCO! COACH The Mad Cappa, a native of Washington DC, made his debut two years ago in a battle royal and made his pay per view debut at Anglemania II against Puerto Rican Lightning and NazMistry. Since then he’s faced a lot of ups and downs. But nothing could be as disappointing as being eliminated in the Lethal Rumble after he talked so much trash about winning it. Tonight he gets his first ever tag team title shot against Chicks Over Dicks. Cappa gives his bat to an attractive female ring attendant, while Rusco does The Rock’s arm raised, eyes closed, sniffing the “electricity” pose on the turnbuckles. Anything but Me by Lindsay Lohan hits leading to a GARGANTUAN fountain of beautiful red pyro shooting up from the entrance stage! The entire arena comes alive with massive cheers for the champs. Finally Alix and Krista emerge from the back. Alix is wearing a “Cat in the Hat” hat and a blonde heavy metal wig. BUFFER And the champions...First, from Beverly Hills, California....ALIX SPEZIA. And from West Hollywood, California....she is the author of the New York Times best seller No Man. No Cry and star of the best selling fitness video, Buns with KID...KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! On the way to the ring Alix blows a kiss to the camera leading to superimposed red lips to pop up on screen. COACH Oooooh.....I need new pants. COLE Certainly I think this match will be a challenge for Mad Cappa. Krista and Alix have defeated Black T and The Original Elite. Those are teams with two wrestlers. The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco is a squad with only one wrestler and a loud mouth jerk who shouldn’t even be in the ring. CABOOSE As usual you’re very wrong. Need I remind you that The Mad Cappa has beaten Drek Stone more times then anyone on the roster. Forgive me for bringing that up Mister Stone. But if Cappa can beat the best champion in pro wrestling then I have no doubt he can beat two silly girls. No matter who his partner is. COLE That remains to be seen, Boo’s clues! Clad in funky hippy colors, Alix, and her goofy hat, and crazy wig take a spot on the apron. After a short pat down by the official the bell rings. *DING DING DING* The match starts out with Krista and Mad Cappa. The two meet in the center of the ring for a collar and elbow tie up. They engage in a spirted battle over the hold, which sees a stronger Cappa scoring the upperhand by backing Krista to a neutral corner. At the urging of the referee Billy Silverman, the unbalanced gladiator gives a clean break. “Free shot, goldylocks.” He offers in a sickeningly sweet voice, pointing to his cheek, telling her to hit him. Never one to pass up an opportunity to knock a man out cold, Krista rears her arm back to slug Cappa! As she follows through, her foe drops to the mat and quickly scurries out of the ring! The fans boo the display of cowardice, but Cappa and Rusco, who is on the ring apron, have a good laugh at Izzy’s expense. Highly annoyed, Krista asks for a microphone. Buffer obliges her request. Krista leans over the ropes and directs a frosty glare at Mad Cappa. The smart aleck cups his hear ala Hulk Hogan, taunting her as she prepares to rip into him. KRISTA Cappa, I may be a woman...but you’re the pussy! “PUSSY CAPPA! PUSSY CAPPA! PUSSY CAPPA!” chant the fans. His pride mortally wounded, the previously jovial Cappa demonstratively stomps around the outside of the ring, yelling at the crowd to shut up. The producer backstage knowing that he’s a timebomb waiting to explode orders a production intern through a pair of headsets to get Cappa a live mic. CAPPA (after snagging the mic) Hold on, goldylocks! I am not a pussy! CROWD YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! CAPPA No I am not! CROWD YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! CAPPA No I AM NOT! CROWD YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE! CAPPA NO I AM NOT CROWD NO YOU’RE NOT! NO YOU’RE NOT! NO YOU’RE NOT! CAPPA YES I AM! “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! Cappa immediately realizes his mistake and throws a mini tantrum, flailing his arms about like a spoiled child and kicking the steel steps. The crowd starts another “Pussy Cappa” chant which serves only to further anger him. COLE I guess this might be disrespectful to Cappa. But he turned his back on these fans after they spent the better part of the year rooting him on and supporting him. When he beat Drek Stone it was like they beat Drek Stone. But now Cappa has shown his true colors and it sickens all of us. Beyond embarrassed, Cappa rolls into the ring to retrieve some of his lost pride. Krista meets him with hard stomps to the back. She pulls him up, then snags him into a headlock. A tussle ensues while the derogatory chants aimed at Cappa die down. He frees himself from the hold by shoving Krista to the ropes. On the rebound he catches her with a simple hip toss! However, Krista, being more agile then most, counters the move by landing in a wheel barrow set up. The Mad Cappa is left terribly confused at the counter and Krista is able to easily swing her body behind him and get a roll up! 1 KICK OUT! Both wrestlers get to their feet, with Cappa standing up crucial moments before her. As such the advantage is in his corner for a few seconds. He blasts Krista with a hard knife edge chop that sends her reeling into the ropes! Problematically, she lands bit too close to Rusco. The sneaky manager grabs her blonde hair and begins to yank her head back and forth, causing an incredible stress to be put on her neck. Krista moans in misery which is music to Vince’s ears. It’s also the only time a woman who he didn’t pay before hand will moan in his presence. Before the referee can admonish him or possibly DQ him he pushes Krista back towards the center of the ring. Cappa is waiting for her with a kick to the stomach! X-Factor (facebuster) by The MC! Krista flops over on to her back, plagued by a troublesome headache. Cappa drapes his lower legs across her chest, then proceeds to do PUSH-UPs while pinning her. Needless to say the fans do not like this one bit, but Rusco enjoys every minute of it! 1 2 KICK OUT! Cappa vehemently argues the count with the ref, even going so far as to slam the mat three times to show Silverman how its done. His diverted attention allows Krista time to recover. She stands up and runs the ropes. Out of the corner of his eye The MC spots her charging towards him and tries to take her head off with a lariat! But Krista ducks underneath his arm and continues to run the ropes. Upon her return, Cappa catches her with a tilt-a-whirl..NO! Krista slips out and lands on her gold boots! Dropkick to Cappa’s knees! His legs buckle beneath him and he drops to the mat! DROPKICK RIGHT TO HIS FACE~! Unable to block it, the former fan favorite falls back as if he just got shot. Cappa screams like a baby, holding his face and kicking his feet in the air. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” bleat the fans to a woman who really doesn’t want their support. Cappa stands up and swats at Krista with an errant jab. Again he goes for a punch, but Krista side steps. Now its Krista’s turn to attack and she spares no moment in doing so! She charges forward with a yakuza kick but it gets ducked! Now behind her, Cappa hits KID with a knife edge chop to the back! Grimacing, Krista lurches forward unable to defend herself. Shooting himself in front of her, he grabs a front face lock. The former “Street Corner” host takes hold of her left leg like he was going to fisherman suplex her but then spins to the side and drops her to mat while twisting her neck! Cappa stands up and gives himself a round of applause. It’s a show of disrespect that won’t win him any fans around these parts. COACH That is a cradle neckbreaker that Cappa just used. CABOOSE A very useful move to do after Rusco’s illegal working over of the neck. Illegal, but very enjoyable to this misogynist. With the fans firmly planted on the side of his adversary, Cappa proceeds to despicably choke Krista on the ring ropes. After Silverman reaches a five count Cappa breaks the hold and lets the former fitness model drop to the mat where she’s left gasping for air. Cappa strolls to his corner, and for some very masochistic reason he tags in Vince Rusco. Rusco hits the ring to a number of jeers and does the Ric Flair strut over to Krista. Sporting an arrogant smile he pokes her with his foot, the way you might poke a near dead skunk on the side of the road with a stick. No movement. He turns to his tag team partner, and the two share a cruel and conceited laugh. Assuming that Krista is out like a light, Rusco slowly bends down to pin her....... And that’s when she pulls him into a single leg takedown! The fans erupt with cheers as Krista wraps her leg between his legs and flips Vince over for a sharpshooter! His formerly over confident self is now reduced to a blubbering and crying mess, more pathetic then anything in the world. CABOOSE This is not the thanks Rusco deserves for keeping Cappa in the OAOAST! Rusco prays for his worthless life as tears slide down the outlines of his ugly face. Pitifully he begs for mercy but his pleas are only responded to by loud and unsympathetic chants of “TAP! TAP! TAP!” from the sell out crowd. Finally, Cappa who seems surprised that Krista got one up on his manager, charges into the ring. Using the ropes to give him some momentum, he runs up behind her and drops her with a face crusher! Before Alix can get into the ring to do anything, Cappa drags Vince to their corner and makes the tag with him. COLE I assume Cappa just brought Rusco in to give himself a breather. But was it worth it? Was it a sound move? Rusco almost tapped out. Holding a fistful of her hair, Cappa drags the lovely grappler to her feet. He hammers her with an elbow to the back of the head that nearly drops her to the mat, but Cappa keeps her upright. The despised heel whips her to the ropes! Krista has no choice but to come back to Cappa who attempts to deck her with a lethal standing clothesline! However, Krista’s athleticism and ability to counter any wrestling move knows no limit! She grabs his attacking arm and uses it as an aid as she swings behind him then back out in front of him where she smokes him with a DIAMOND CUTTER~! The amazing display of speed and wrestling know-how pops the crowd huge! On the ring apron, Rusco is stricken with a fit of panic as the realization that his gravy train is about to get derailed hits him harder then a middle linebacker! COLE Krista seems to be step ahead of Cappa. Everything he does she’s got a counter for. Noticing that Krista’s crawling to her corner, Cappa grabs onto her foot. Groggy and eyes blurred he fights with his own dazed state as much as his feisty rival in trying to keep her from making the hot tag. The fans are on their feet rallying behind Krista’s valiant effort to make the tag with her psychedelic partner. But Cappa’s grip tightens to the point where she’ll be going no where unless she rids herself of his aggravating presence. KID stands up, managing to get Cappa to do the same. She turns her body towards him and rocks his world with an enziguri! The blow hits him with so much force that his body does a front flip and he ends up landing on his back! If Cappa was a cartoon character one would expect to see little blue birdies floating above his head. COLE What a kick! CABOOSE Get up, man! The tag is made to Alix Spezia! The audience almost blows the roof off the arena with wild cheers! Alix hops over the ring ropes, a 5 foot 5 little ball of fire. Now standing, Cappa pounces on her and goes for a inverted atomic drop! NO! Alix spins her body behind his! She grabs a full nelson and hooks her leg between his! Sweat pours off of Cappa’s troubled face as he attempts to counter her full nelson face crusher attempt! He denies himself a disastrous drop to the mat by spinning out and grabbing a front face lock on his female enemy! But Alix counters THAT by twisting both their bodies around so that she’s the one with a front face lock! SIT OUT IMPLANT DDT (Brainbuster DDT) BY ALIX! COLE Cappa just got his head driven into the mat! “THE WORLD IS MINE!” Alix, teeming with energy, proclaims before taking off to the ropes! COACH And I am to, honey. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Instead of running back to Cappa, Alix cartwheels towards him and hits him with a breathtaking CARTWHEEL 450 SPLASH! Pin attempt! NO! Rusco is in the ring dashing towards Alix! She sees him coming a mile away! The flower child gets up to meet him and catches him with a dropkick! Rusco plummets to the mat! In midair Alix morphs the dropkick into a CORCKSCREW MOONSAULT~! more beautiful then any Da Vinci painting and lands chest first onto Cappa! The crowd is whipped into uncontainable frenzy by Alix’s ultra impressive aerial tricks! This time she does go for a pin! CROWD 1 CROWD 2 CROWD 3 NO! RUSCO BREAKS UP THE PIN! “BOOOOOOOO!” Alix leaves Mad Cappa and storms over to a retreating Rusco! Burning with fury, she grabs him by his god awful comb over and slings him to the center of the ring! Fueled by fear, Rusco backs away from Alix, offering her anything she wants, from money to sexual favors, if she’ll only spare him. “BEAT HIM LIKE I BEAT MY HUSBAND” screams a female(?) fan in the first row. Before Alix can grant that fan’s wish Cappa nails her with a running forearm to the back! Boos fill the air, but Cappa couldn’t care less. He takes to the ropes and rebounds intending on doing god knows what only to be hit with a spear by Alix and a running clothesline by Krista at the exact same time! Cappa rolls out of the ring, leaving his pathetic ally to fend for himself. CABOOSE Get back in the ring, Cappa! Don’t throw away your title shot! “ROCK N ROLL FOREVAAAAA!” Alix bellows while Krista pulls a frightened and trembling Rusco to his feet. KID stands behind him and motions for Alix to come running! Alix hits the ropes as Rusco makes one last futile effort to beg for his safety. His hands are held in front of him and requests for kindness drip out of his porous mouth. However, Krista and Alix show zero concern for his well being as they destroy him the Madonna Whore Complex (LEGSWEEP/RUNNING ENZURIGI). His body twists awkwardly as it crumples to the mat, incapable of doing anything but taking the decisive pinfall from Alix. CROWD 1 CROWD 2 CROWD 3!!!! Alix gets up and throws the peace sign into the air. The fans do the same while cheering the finish. COLE Alix and Krista make their second straight successful title defense! And fans you need to get onto ebay and see if you can make a successful winning bid to spend your Thursday night with these two lovely ladies. COACH Definitely not a lovely evening for The Mad Cappa, as he suffers another heartbreaker. It’s almost like its two steps forward and two steps back for him. Cappa slides into the ring and looks at Rusco with extreme disgust. A scowl crosses his face as he realizes this is the man responsible for denying him tag team gold. The former Puerto Rican champion shrugs his shoulders at the misfortune that has befallen Rusco, as if to say its not his problem. The audience still applauding COD’s victory, Cappa nonchalantly exits the ring and leaves his mangled wreck of a partner behind to suffer in isolation. COACH Wrestling is gay. Next segment! Fade in from ringisde to none-other than the NEW HeldDOWN General Manager, JOSIE BAKER! She sits behind her desk, smoking a cigarette while typing something on the computer. She looks down at some papers before the phone rings. She slowly picks it up. JOSIE Josie Baker.....KEN! Oh my god, how's Europe?!....uh huh....are you and Austin having a good time?....goooooood. -Josie listens for a little bit before shaking her head slightly. JOSIE Ken, baby, I can handle this shit...no, hun, honestly. I got everything under control, and everyone's been very helpful and kind.........Yes, I KNOW that Northstar took advantage of Austin's problem, but that doesn't mean I'm......yeah......look, I'll just call Jasmine and ask her if she can help if things get too stressful......No, Ken, don't come home. I got it.... -A knock is heard at the door as Josie rubs her temple. JOSIE Look, babe, I got business I need to take care of....I promise, I'll be fine. I love you....Ok, talk to you later. Bye. -Josie hangs up as she looks towards the door. JOSIE It's open. -The door opens slowly, and Josie's face goes from stressed to bummed. She takes another drag off her cigarette and blows the smoke out slowly. JOSIE Dreeeeeek Stone. -The fans boo wildly as the camera pans over to Drek, who is wearing a nice Italian suit. His OAOAST Title Belt is hanging over his right shoulder. DREK Look, Josie...I'm at my wits end here. Seriously. This match against Hoff at Zero Hour CANNOT...no, WILL NOT happen. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" DREK Ignore that booing! I CANNOT -- in good conscience -- allow this to happen. I mean, when the hell do I earn a break? Had to defend it at Climax. Had to defend it at AnglePalooza. Didn't get a Main Event slot at EITHER of those shows. And now I'm defending it for the THIRD straight Pay-Per-View?! In Hoff's hometown?! This is ridiculous. I won't allow it. JOSIE And what, pray tell, gave you that power? DREK This belt right here! -Drek slaps the title belt and glares at Josie. JOSIE Drek...just because you have a title belt doesn't mean you can waltz in here and demand for me to drop what could very well be THE Match of the Year. Look...I know you're feeling a little scared... DREK I am NOT scared of Hoff! JOSIE No, I know that...but you're afraid of LOSING to Hoff...but, Drek... -Josie slightly chuckles and shrugs. JOSIE I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The people want to see Drek Stone vs. Hoff at Zero Hour, and, quite frankly, they want to see you lose. -Josie puts out her cigarette in the ashtray before lighting up another. JOSIE So...if I were you...instead of focusing on how to get OUT of the match, I'd focus on how to WIN that motherfucker...Ok? -Drek smiles as he drops his head. He chuckles lightly as he raises it to look at Josie. DREK Look...Josie...I'm sure there's SOME way we can make a deal here. JOSIE Whatdya mean? -Drek stands slowly grabbing his belt buckle, winking at Josie with a seductive grin. DREK I mean...you do me a favor, and I do you....a favor in return. -Josie's originally stoic face now cracks a slight smile. She blinks a few times before standing as well. She looks at Drek...and smiles with the same seductiveness. JOSIE Oh yeah? -Josie slowly starts to walk towards the champ, who is grinning so wide that his teeth look like a beard. Josie stops just short of Drek and leans on the desk. DREK So...how about it? -Josie smiles and grabs a piece of paper and a pen. She starts writing things and making quick checks. Drek looks slightly confused. DREK ...What are you doing? JOSIE I am filling out a Sexual Harassment form. DREK ...What? JOSIE How do you spell "Drek?" Is it D-R-E-C-K, or D-R-E-K? DREK Whoa whoa whoa! C'mon! Let's be rational! -Josie looks up, an angry look now on her face. JOSIE No. You did something that made ME, your BOSS, uncomfortable. You think that just because you're champ, you have immunity. Well, news flash, Champ! The Drek Stone Backstage Era is OVER! I'm your boss, and if you hit on me ONE more time, you'll be on the street so fast, it'll make your little Italian head spin. The match at Zero Hour stays. You're STILL going to be facing Hoff. Now get the FUCK out of my office before I have security DRAG you out. -The fans erupt as Drek glares at Josie before turning quickly towards the door. Josie's angry face slowly turns into a smile. JOSIE GOD, this is going to be fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 We go back to the arena. *the house lights dim and colored strobe lights replace them as KC & the Sunshine Band starts to pour out of the arena sound system "I'm your boogie man, that's what I am. I'm here to do whatever I can. Be it early morning, late afternoon Or at midnight. It's never too soon" * Caboose: Alright, it’s the real talent of the OAOAST! *The 70s Dude appears at the top of the entrance way wearing a retro style New England Patriots jersey and is met with a chorus of boos. A water bottle flies through the air and barely misses hitting the Dude in the head. He makes his way down to the ring doing his best to avoid people trying to splash him with their beverages as he mocks them. The Dude slides into the ring and is handed a mic by the time keeper. The house lights go back to normal and the music is cut but the boos grow even louder. The Dude tries to wait for the boos to die down but as they don’t he just cuts right into the middle of them.* The 70s Dude The Dude doesn’t hold any hate towards any of you. I’d be upset and lash out at people too if I had to live here. Hell, just spending 3 days here is more than enough for me. I’m ready to get back to a real city where the people have a little class. Cole: Do you believe the audacity of this man? BOOOOOOOOOO! The 70s Dude Hey now, you people should show the Dude a little respect. You’re in the midst of real greatness…not like that fictional character Rocky you build statues for and worship, Oh no! The Dude is as real as that losing streak your teams seem to have in major spots. Enough of that though! The Dude came out tonight to finish what he was talking about last week before he was so rudely interrupted. Interrupted by a has-been way past his prime and way out of his league. In case you people were busy stuffing Cheese-steaks down your throat though here’s how that ended. *Suddenly the TitanTron flashes footage from last week’s show* J. MATH And what about the 70's Dude? CALVIN Josh, when I come out and I see a guy running his mouth about he's the best, it just infuriates me, because he doesn't give a damn about anybody but himself. He doesn't care about the guys in the back, he doesn't respect the sport... *CRASH!* A disco ball is broken out of nowhere over Calvin's head, and Szechstein crumples to the ground, clutching his bleeding forehead! The 70's Dude stands over him, smiling evilly. *Camera focuses back to the ring* The 70s Dude You see the Dude aint about to take no jive from some over the hill cat. Calvin was step 1 on the Dude’s Magical Mystery Tour of Funk…and I think its safe to say Calvin got funked up pretty good. *the crowd still jeers and tosses garbage in the ring as the Dude laughs over his antics…and then “I’m the Bomb” by Electric Six fills the arena bringing the fans to their feet* Coach: Look at the reaction of these people. They’re going crazy! Caboose: Oh man. Didn’t Szechstein learn his lesson last week? *The Dude slides out of the back of the ring and grabs a steel folding chair while the fans continue to erupt and proceeds to slide back in with it, holding it up defensively. The music continues to shake the foundation of the arena and then finally Calvin appears at the top of the entrance way… … all 3 foot 7 inches of him* Cole: That’s not Calvin! What is this about? *The midget in Calvin garb makes his way down to the ring, climbs the steps, enters by climbing over the bottom rope and stands before The Dude. The fans not quite understanding what’s going on seem to have fallen into a hush* Caboose: What are you talking about? That looks like Calvin to me. Coach: Oh stop it Boose The 70s Dude I thought I taught you last week who the new Man on the Block is. I thought I made it quite clear that your days are up and you should just stick at home and watch Nick@Nite. So what are you out here interrupting the Dude for again? *the midget Calvin falls to his knees and pleads with The Dude* Cole: This is despicable The 70s Dude Oh, here to appologise? *The midget nods his head emphatically, gets back to his feet and put his hand out to call a truce* The Dude aint about to touch your greasy sausage fingers, but I accept. Its only natural you’d come out and interrupt somebody as hip as the Dude and try to steal some of his heat when you haven’t done anything interesting in years. Look, you leave now and I’ll act as if none of this ever happened. *midget Calvin smiles, turns his back and poses to the fans…and as he does so the Dude drops the mic, brings the chair high above his head and proceeds to swing for the fences dropping midget Calvin like a sack of potatoes.* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Coach: What is this man’s problem? Sooner or later he’s going to have to face the former champ and when he does none of this is going to end up doing him any favors. Caboose: Oh be real, Calvin is done. You saw it and I saw it. There’s no way he’s coming back *The Dude throws the bent chair down on the canvas and picks the mic back up while staring into the TV camera.* The 70s Dude The Dude don’t care if you’re 3 feet tall or 7 feet tall. The Magical Mystery Tour of Funk has begun and aint a person around who can stop it. *The Dude smiles and KC and the Sunshine Band start up once more as the camera fades to black into commercial* COACH We’re back for more crappy play fighting. HEY! WAIT! I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Heart Shaped Box plays and is immediately followed by a chorus of boos! The entrance doors split apart.Multicolor spotlights dance across the stage as Logan Mann, Synth Esizer and James E Cornette step out. Logan, wearing Angel Wings and dressed in extravagantly airbrushed tights that features paintings of music legends like James Brown, Elton John and Kurt Cobain, heads to the ring first. Cornette tags behind, menacingly beating his hand against his racket. Synth, outfitted in Angel Wings and a Catholic Schoolgirl skirt, stops to do a few body builder poses on the top of the stage. COACH Have you been giving Synth fashion tips again, Mikey? I hope Synth’s wearing underwear that adequately covers his shame. BUFFER The following is a first round matchup in the Anderson Cup! The winner will face The Global Party Exchange! Now making their way to the ring....weighing a combine 448 pounds, Jim Cornette Enterprises in association with Arista Records presents the self-proclaimed "greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time"...Synth and Logan "Usher" Mann, THE SAINTS! The announcement is met with a number of jeers from the fans, memories of The Saints doing nothing to stop Cornette from beating Holly fresh in their mind. As they walk down the entrance ramp, Esizer puts on a happy face, grinning and randomly flexing his muscles. But Logan shows no signs of faux happiness, looking troubled by tonight’s incident with his former image consultant. COLE The Saints have had their fair share of run-ins with the Midnight Express, all of it lead to Holly-Wood being terminated from her consultant gig at JCE. According to Cornette Holly paid Stan Lane and Bob Eaton to attack The Saints at Anglepalooza because Holly’s attracted to Ned Blanchard. What bunk! Holly tried to explain her side to only sane member of JCE, Logan Mann, but Logan just wouldn’t her hear out. Then Jim Cornette attacked Holly with the tennis racket! And The Saints just watched. I expect Synth to do something so unheroic, but not Logan. I’m no fan of them, but I would’ve thought Logan had more class then that. Boulevard of Broken dreams plays signaling the arrival of The Saints’ opponents! The Marv and Hell Mel step out onto the entrance stage. Surprise of surprises, the twins actually look like legitimate professional wrestlers! The Marv is attired in black trunks, wrist bands, elbow pads, knee pads and boots. Hell Mel is wearing red cargo pants, black boots and a black sports coat. BUFFER And the opponents...from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada...THE MARV...HELL MEL....THE SK8ER BOIZ! The Marv and Hell Mel walk down the ramp pointing intimidating fingers at their rivals. Synth is worried, peeved over having to face this updated and far more dangerous version of the brothers Nerdly. CABOOSE If they were going to get another makeover the least they could’ve done was pick team name that wasn’t based off a song that hasn’t been popular in two years. As Marvin and Mel slide into the ring, Cornette rushes out of it. The Marv points to his wrist as if there was a watch there to let The Saints know that their time is up. Logan just scoffs and gives them the finger. COACH Marvin and Mel seem ready to take this tournament seriously. I have to wonder if The Saints are doing the same to them. Are Logan and Synth rethinking their strategy? Do they understand that they’re no longer matched up against the common jobbers they barely beat two weeks ago. ANDERSON CUP LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE The Saints Vs. The Sk8er Boiz *DING DING DING* The match kicks off with Hell Mel and Synth Esizer. Synth offers his hand for a handshake. It’s a very uncharacteristic display of sportsmanship and Melvin’s eye brows are arched in understandable skepticism. But, Mel, being a nice guy, says “why not” and shakes Synth’s hand...and then gets hit with a shortarm clothesline! NO! Hell Mel swiftly counters the clothesline with a flatliner, shocking the hell out of Ezier and slamming him face first into the ring! Synth rolls away from Mel, slowly rubbing his formerly clotheslining arm. On the ring apron, his partner in crime, Logan softly chuckles at the embarrassing gaffe Synth was subjected to. COLE Attn.wrestling promoters. I Michael Cole am available for bookings. I’ll bring my boom box, my pink umbro shorts and a soothing bottle of baby oil for a pre show rub down for your pleasure! Hotlanta! Mel runs at a now standing Synth with an axe handle smash! However Esizer puts a clamp on Mel’s attack with an elbow to the stomach. The rock and roll icon rears his arm back and blasts Melvin with a knife edge chop! And another! And another! And....from out of nowhere Hell Mel takes Synth for a wild ride with a tornado DDT! Synth’s head is spiked into the mat! His brains are scrambled worse then an egg and his pride is shattered now that the former jobber has upstaged him two times in one match! With his opponent down and out for the time being, Hell Mel hops onto the turnbuckle of a neutral corner! He comes flying back at Synth with a springboard leg drop and lands right on the poor rock and roller’s neck! COLE Ouch! So The Fan..Sk8ter Boiz can actually wrestle? Synth seems to realize that. Terribly upset at his early misfortune, he rolls out of the ring to talk strategy with his legendary manager, James E Cornette. Logan Mann, body glitter and all, steps off the ring apron to join in the conversation. It’s a regular JCE board meeting as a heavily animated Cornette gives his young tag team a wealth of instructions! The pow wow comes to a sudden and disastrous end as Hell Mel takes them all out with an awe inspiring CORCKSCREW PLANCHA! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chants the crowd who just might have been won over to the Sk8ter Boiz side. COACH Who knew a Nerdly could fly like that? Melvin is taking the fight to The Saints! Logan groggily stands up first, looking for the nearest exit. Cornette, who nearly crapped his pants out of fear, is next to get to his feet. Hair and suit a complete mess, he’s followed by the two legal men who are trading weak punches. Just as it looks like some semblance of order may be restored to this contest, The Marv puts everybody right back down again with a running SWANTON BOMB TO THE OUTSIDE~! All five men fall like bowling pins and the crowd explodes at the high risk chaos! Everyone lies on the outside mat, groaning and suffering from varying levels of pain. CABOOSE Do you think Steven Tyler and Joe Perry had to suffer such indignities? We’ll be back! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Back in the ring, things have calmed down ever so slightly. Hell Mel is doing battle with Logan Mann. Logan goes for a standing hiptoss but his rival frustrates him to no end by landing on his feet! He kicks Logan in the stomach forcing The Saints’ lead singer to double over, mouth held agape. Melvin takes advantage of Logan’s poor position by resting his leg on Logan’s neck and using it as a launching pad to do a back flip! Upon landing he drops Logan onto the mat with a back drop! COLE The Saints cost the New New Midnight Express their match against Black T. As a result, Josie has banned The Midnights from appearing at ringside for this match! Logan writhes around the mat in pain, the move taking more out of him then one would’ve thought. Hell Mel rolls Mann onto his stomach, leaving his injured back exposed to a potentially lethal move. The Sk8ter Boi faces away from Logan, then flings himself at him with a STANDING MOONSAULT~! NO! Logan rolls out of the way and Melvin takes an unexpected and very agonizing crash into the mat! Hell Mel grimaces with distress but has little time to fell sorry for himself as Logan, now recovered, pulls him into a pinning situation with an Oklahoma Roll! 1 2 KICK OUT! Crowd: “LOGAN LIP SYNCS! LOGAN LIP SYNCS! LOGAN LIP SYNCS!” Both men hop to their feet, but quickly find themselves back on the mat as Melvin hammers Logan with a diving clothesline! Cornette, not wanting a repeat of the earlier high flying incident, keeps his distance from the ring, but his shouts of encouragement mixed with reprimands are heard loud and clear by Mann. COLE I think one of the main reasons Logan...Um I forgot what I was going to say. The two grapplers are standing, ready to pummel one another into submission. STIFF KICK~! by Logan! Mel no-sells and responds with a STIFF KICK~! of his own right to Logan’s arm! Logan pulls his hurt limb back and tosses out another STIFF KICK~! Pained, Melvin screams! But he doesn’t let the hurt deter him from hammering Logan with a STIFF KICK~! The fans, who are nothing but barbaric savages on the level of early Neanderthal, love every minute of brutal segment and root on the two to destroy one another. Logan delivers a third STIFF KICK~! NO! Mel ducks to the ground and brings Logan down with him with a leg sweep! “YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED!” chant the fans to Logan who is clearly having one of the worst nights of his life. Mel drags Logan to his feet and sends him to the Skt8r corner with an Irish Whip! The twin follows Logan in and blasts him a leaping forearm smash! Mann staggers forward, coughing up a mixture of blood and spit and wishing he could be anywhere else in the world. Hell Mel tags in the The Marv! The Marv comes into the ring and softens Logan up with a few quick right jabs to the side of the head! Logan is in LaLa land and I ain’t talking about Hollywood. With his foe completely out of it, Mel grabs the recording artist into a front face lock and lifts him up for a vertical suplex! As Melvin falls backward with Logan, The Marv catches Mann’s legs so that they rest on his shoulders! With the handsome rocker in hand, he runs forward to the center of the ring! While Cornette is jumping up and down screaming like a mad man, Marvin DESTROYS Mann with a viscous running powerbomb! Taking no pause, he displays amazing strength by lifting Logan up off the mat then dropping him once again with a second powerbomb! The crowd claps for the tremendous attack. Marvin goes for a bridged pin. 1 2 KICK OUT! COLE Close call! We almost saw a huge upset. Regardless of who wins this match, I think that its put the Boiz on the map! Now if only it could put them in my bedroom. Double their pleasure and double my fun! Yum! Using the ropes as an aid, Logan stands himself up. The Marv comes charging at him like a raging bull! But Logan halts him with a boot to the gut! The 218 pounder wraps his arms around Nerdly’s waist then swings him out in front of him and drops him to the canvas with a side swinging powerbomb! While the crowd rudely informs him that he sucks, Logan, drained of his energy and breath, stumbles to his corner and brings Synth Esizer into the match with a tag! COLE One of these teams will gain the right to face The Global Party Exchange next week. However, I hear Johnny and Scotty are not overly interested in the outcome of this match. (To prove Cole’s point we see Jackson and Static backstage in a locker room watching that episode of The Simpsons where we found out Principal Seymour Skinner isn’t the real Seymour Skinner.) Synth and Marvin duke it out with wild punches in the center of the ring. Synth gains the upper hand with a dastardly but effective eye rake. With his enemy blinded, Synth nails him with a PERCUSSION(DDT)]! Or does he? Marvin counters with a low blow! The skirt wearing wrestler comically oversells the move, as a low blow to his shriveled up dick shouldn’t hurt more then a paper cut. The Marv leaps onto Synth’s not-so broad shoulders! Synth is to taken with his low blow inflicted misery to stop Marvin from spinning his body around so that its facing the opposite direction as The Synth-a-rama’s. Marvie then falls backwards and snaps a disheveled Esizer over with a beautiful shoulder spin rana! COLE The Marv can really go! I wonder if he can go in the backseat of my 99 Escort. Synth, humiliated and injured, slowly scrapes himself up off the mat. As he pulls himself upright he gets ensnared into a reverse full nelson! With his manager and tag team partner ordering him to fight back, the drummer battles against the Sk8ter’s hold! But Marvin stays strong and so does his hold on Synth! He raises him into the air for a reverse full nelson slam, lets him go, then pulls him into a DDT~! COACH A Gas Mask into a DDT! I’m ready to jump on The Marv’s bandwagon. That’s cool. The audience noisily approves of the awesome move! The Marv goes for a cover! CROWD 1 CROWD 2 KICK OUT! COLE Another close call! Synth stands up. They’re fighting! Punch by The Marv! Blocked! Oh! What chop by a Synth! That’s how its done! Irish Whip by Synth! Reversed! Synth goes into the corner! Synth’s back just smacked the turnbuckles! Ouch! Things are heating up on HeldDOWN~! The Marv charges at Synth and takes flight with a stinger splash! But his much larger opponent, not wanting to be sandwiched between Marvin and the turnbuckle, moves out of the way! The Marv’s chest collides with the corner posts, blasting all the wind right out of him! He staggers backwards, unable to regain any of his lost breath. His face turns bright red as he hacks and coughs. Synth pulls him right into a school boy! The referee’s view is obstructed by the sweaty half naked men on the mat allowing Esizer to sneak his foot onto the ropes for added leverage! 1 COLE CORNETTE PULLS HELL MEL OFF THE RING APRON AND NAILS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE TENNIS RACKET! DAMN IT! HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH WITH THAT RACKET? 2 3! BUFFER The winners.....THE SAINTS! Boos of course fill the air as no one wanted to see the match end in such a cheap way. Synth could care less, as he’s just thankful to advance while his rivals in the Midnight Express are on the outside looking in. Walking up the ramp he and Jim Cornette exchange high fives with each other while Nirvana’s alt rock tune plays over the speakers. “Try that shit one more time!” Hell Mel challenges angrily, leaning over the ropes and motioning The Saints to get back in the ring. Synth and James E, simply wave him off, knowing that they have nothing to gain and everything to lose by returning to the battle zone. Logan is another story entirely, having apparently taken leave of every last one of his senses. Consumed by rage and confusion for the earth shaking events that transpired tonight, he grabs Cornette’s tennis racket and zooms into the ring! “Lambs to the slaughter, bro.” The Marv cockily remarks, a devilish grin etching itself onto his face. A more accurate description couldn’t have been picked as The Sk8er Boiz devour Mann the exact second he enters the ring! Marvin kicks the racket out of the ring, while Melvin pummels “Usher” with clubbing forearms. Synth starts to move in to save Logan, but oddly enough, Cornette holds him back. COLE Why aren’t Cornette and Synth helping Logan? They’re leaving him to get beat the same way The Saints left Holly to get beat by James E Cornette! The Marv pulls Logan up and wraps him into a side front face lock (twist of fate set-up.) Figuring that stealing Matt Hardy’s finisher wasn’t enough, Marvin also rips off his stupid “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” shout as well. Marv spins Logan around, but before he can drop him with the neckbreaker variation, Synth finally pulls his band’s frontman out of the ring! “BOOOOOOO!” scream the fans. Green Day’s smash hit oozes out of the speakers while The Saints retreat towards backstage. Logan stumbles around, babbling incoherent jibber jabber like a homeless man strung out on hard liquor. The Sk8ers climb to opposite turnbuckles and throw their arms in the air, getting a nice response from the crowd. COLE Hmmm...Next week The Global Party Exchange takes on The Saints! Oh baby, I can’t wait! The winner goes onto Zero Hour to compete in the finals of the Anderson Cup. Tough break for The Sk8ter Boiz they really deserved a better fate. I’m not sure I approve of The Saints’ cheating methods. We'll be back in a few! (Go to break) (yeahyehayehs) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 “Only U” by Ashanti plays signaling the arrival of Candie. Candie hobbles down to the ringside with the aid of her crutches. Her foot is in an air cast. A security guard helps her onto the ring apron and into the ring. COACH Day-um! If I was her, I’d just sit naked all day in front of mirror and fondle myself and my massive breasts....did I say that out loud? (Candie grabs THE STICK~!) CANDIE New General Manager, same result. I’m starting to think there’s an entire world conspiring to make me look like a god damn idiot. If everyone in the company wants me to fail, then for pete’s sake, I’ve got a house with a mail box! Fed-ex me a pink slip and get the whole thing over with. As much as I love the OAOAST, and even though I take a lot of needless abuse, I do love it, I do not love being humiliated. I don’t enjoy being treated like a second class citizen! Every one of thinks its easy being Candie. “She’s got a hot boyfriend. She lives in Malibu. Her boyfriend is the star of the company an he has so much pull.” (Candie sighs) CANDIE I wish life was as easy for me as you all make it out to be. Let me tell you, its not easy at all. My life is hard and it sucks. My boyfriend that you’re all so very fond of, as much I as I adore him, is a bonafide asshole. SCOTT “NETCOP” KEITH~! I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. CANDIE The grief I get because of him is unbelievable. When he took Northstar down before Angleslam, I had people sending death threats to my house for two months. Don’t even get me started on what I had to endure during his battles with Crystal. I couldn’t...I can’t go anywhere without some asshole informing me about how disgusting a human being my boyfriend is and how I’m a worthless skank for loving him. But, I do love Zack and I stick by him. As crazy as that may sound, and I know it does sound crazy. But I want something for myself. COACH The Coach is right here baby. I’m all you want and all you need. SCOTT “NETCOP” KEITH~! DUD! CANDIE I want the OAOAST Women’s Title. I got my shot at the belt and I also got insurmountable odds. At Angelpalooza they gave me five measly minutes to beat Holly-Wood, because of “time constraints”. Because we need to watch Chris Stevens fight Hoff for the millionth time! But do you know what happened? I tossed them all a curve ball and I beat Holly-Wood! I beat her fair and square in the center of the ring! But because of that stupid ass stipulation, “time ran out” and she walked off with the title and I walked off without a thing. Its B.S. The match was B.S. The stipulation was B.S! (Candie, exhausted from her anger, pauses to catch her breath) CANDIE I was offered a rematch for last week’s HeldDOWN~! I took it. I shouldn’t have had to, because the belt should’ve been awarded to me in the first place, but its not like I’ve come to expect fairness from anyone. As I’m on the way to the ring for my match, I get attacked by Holly. She blind sided me, came from behind and back attacked me with a pair of crutches! Who hits someone with a crutch? Holly does. Then after she got done turning my ankle into something resembling mashed potatoes, she dropped the crutches next to me and said “Just to show you I’m not such a bad girl, here’s a parting gift.” (The fans cheer.) COLE Candie knows that Holly can’t come out here to defend herself after Jim Cornette attacked her with his tennis racket so she’s just bad mouthing her. CANDIE There’s your champion! There’s the woman who’s been entrusted with a belt worth over thirty thousand dollars! Now, I bet you’re all wondering what I think about what happened to Holly tonight? The Saints fired her and Logan turned on her. Awww. Holly, when you get dumped for Jim Cornette, you straight up have serious problems. Her whole life is in disarray. Everything she once knew is spiraling out of control. Good. I’m glad she’s miserable. I hope every day of her life is more depressing then the one before it! Because I hate her, and it does not bother me on bit to see her feel the way she does. I want her to die alone and depressed! COLE Simply awful. No class. CANDIE Now, HeldDOWN has a new GM! To think, I actually got my hopes up when I heard the news! Stupid me. Stupid me for thinking that things would be different with a new general manager around! Boy do I feel like an idiot! Incompetency breeds incompetency! Of course Bill Watts is going to hire Josie! She’s just as dumb as he is! The only good Josie is the one hanging with the Pussycats. CROWD: Boooooooooo! CABOOSE I thought that was very clever and an excellent point. CANDIE The woman has a five month old daughter and she smokes two packs a day! She’s a freaking health risk! Dead woman walking! Josie, I don’t care if you want to kill yourself with cancer sticks. Your death will be your problem and probably your daughter’s benefit. What I do care about is you doing the right thing and stripping Holly-Wood of her ti-- *click click click click* "UNOS" "DOS" "TRES" CATORCE!!! CUE: "Vertigo" by U2 -The crowd goes GRAPEFRUIT as the curtain flies open, and out storms[/] JOSIE!! She stops at the top of the ramp, glaring at Candie. Josie makes a cutting motion, causing the music to stop. Without a pause, Josie begins to speak. JOSIE If you EVER bring my daughter into your bullshit in any way EVER again, I'm going to slit your throat, you dime-a-dozen slut! CROWD: OOOOOOOOHHHH!! CANDIE I can do Whate-- JOSIE AND if you EVER interrupt me again, your flabby ass will be back on the street where Zack first found you. I've had it about up to here with you playing the victim, and you just need to shut the hell up. Like it or not, Candie? I'M now your boss, so you have two options. Either you can grow up and handle this shit like a woman, or you can keep running your mouth and force me to come down there and break your OTHER ankle. CROWD: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!! -Josie paces around the top of the ramp as she pulls out and lights another cigarette, taking a long drag as she stops and stares at Candie. She blows the smoke out as she nods. JOSIE That being said, I agree with you. COACH What? CABOOSE Well, damn! The kid IS smarter than she looks! JOSIE Holly-wood DID blind-side you, and she DID do a downright dastardly thing...so maybe she IS unfit to be Woman's champion... CANDIE See, that's exactly wha-- JOSIE What did I JUST say about interrupting me?! CROWD: OOOOOOOHHH!! YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! JOSIE ...HOWever...neither are you right now. I mean, c'mon...You're on crutches for christs sake. What're are you going to do with the title? Look at it?...SO...with allllll that being brought forth and such...Holly-wood is STILL the OAOAST WOMAN'S CHAMPION! CROWD: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!! JOSIE All right...Candie...my husband and your boyfriend go way back...they've been friends since Ken came into this company. Maybe they're not friends anymore, but that's beside the point. Because of their past, I'll strike you a deal. You will receive your Woman's Title shot once your ankle heals... -Candie smiles wide and nods as Josie paces slightly. JOSIE BUUUUUT...I can't guarantee it will be against Holly-wood. -Candie's smile is replaced with "Dubya Tee Ef." JOSIE As HeldDOWN's General Manager, I decided that we need a FIGHTING Champion. SO!...NEXT WEEK!...IN that VERY ring!...We will see an OAOAST Woman's Champion title match...pitting the Champion herself, HOLLY-WOOD!! CROWD: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! JOSIE ...against none other...than one half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions....KRISTA! ISADORA! DUNCAN!! CROWD: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! COLE WHOA!! COACH Oh...I...Krista...ver-ver-versus Huuuuuuuuh...HUUUUUUuuuh... CABOOSE Is idiot boy ok? COLE I'm not even looking at him...I just can't anymore. -Josie lets the crowd die down as she smiles at Candie, who simply nods. JOSIE And Candie?...If you get involved in ANY way...no...hold on...if there is ANY interference AT all, I'm holding you personally responsible, and you will be STRIPPED of your title shot...Capiche? -Candie's face is full of anger as she nods. Back on the ramp, Josie turns and walks towards the curtain, but she suddenly stops and turns back towards Candie. JOSIE and Candie?....those pants make you look REALLY fat. CUE: "Vertigo" by U2 -Josie smiles wide as Candie looks down at her midsection, near tears. Josie tosses the mic up in the air and turns around, heading through the dark of the curtain. The cameras cut to a shot of the locker room, where Hoff is changing into his ring gear. COLE There's Hoff, one of six particiapnts in our main event match tonight. CABOOSE The "main event" is Drek Stone, Cole. The rest of those guys are losers. COACH Not my babygirl~! Hoff and Axel are cool too. Speaking of Axel, the Dark One walks into the room, drawing a big pop. Axel smiles. AXEL What's up, Hoff? Hoff looks up. HOFF Nothin', man. How you doin'? Axel nods. AXEL Y'know. I'm breathing. Hoff laughs. HOFF I hear ya, man. I hear ya. How's Crystal? Axel looks down at his feet, or maybe the floor. Whichever. AXEL Well...I haven't quite seen her yet. Hoff looks at Axel in surprise. HOFF You two didn't ride together? Axel says nothing. HOFF Things okay with you guys? AXEL They're fine. No worries. Hoff nods slowly. HOFF Well, okay. As long as she's here for the match. AXEL Nah, don't worry about it, mate. She'll show for the match, she never misses a gig. Hoff seems satisfied, and turns back to his kneepad. Axel, though, just sort of stands there...drawing another comment from Hoff. HOFF You sure you're all right here? Axel looks at Hoff. AXEL I don't know. I mean, I think so...but sometimes she seems like a million miles away. Y'know? Hoff stands and smiles softly, and clasps his newfound friend on the arm. HOFF Listen, buddy. You're young yet. Eventually, you'll learn that all women, love 'em or hate 'em, are certifiable. Axel chuckles slightly. HOFF Now listen. Just like you said last week, you and I -- and Crystal -- are gonna go out there and bust some skulls. And maybe I'll even show you how to properly do a spinebuster. Axel laughs outright, and the two men turn and head out the door. AXEL You know mine's better... HOFF As if. *cut to Sofa Central* CABOOSE AS IF?!? Did we wander into an Alicia Silverstone movie?! COLE Axel and Hoff look to be getting along well, but will that be enough to beat Drek Stone, Chris Stevens and Jumbo? And will Crystal show up? Our main event is NEXT~! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 CUE: "Black" COLE Here we go!!! The fans SCREAM as Hoff's music fills the air... BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOM~! And COME TO THEIR FEET as the big man steps onto the stage!! Hoff looks out, smiling, and gives a big war cry before heading down the ramp!! COACH These fans are showin' the LOVE~! COLE There he is, the man who will challenge Drek Stone for the World Title in just a few weeks. CABOOSE God, don't remind me. Hoff slides into the ring and heads to the nearest corner, climbing up to the second rope and raising his fist into the air, drawing a HUGE pop from the Philly crowd!! COLE This guy is almost as over as Panther is tonight with these Philly fans. COACH He's as over as Donovan McNabb's career! CABOOSE Oh, snap. "Black" dies down... Can you feel that... The fans come alive as Axel's "Down With the Sickness" starts pulsating through the arena! Shit... An "AX-EL" chant picks up as the song builds... OOW-AH-AH-AH-AH!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! Axel AND CRYSTAL come out to a HUGE cheer!! CABOOSE Aw, the happy couple. Axel and Crystal, indeed, look to be in higher spirits than they have been lately, coming out together. Crystal stands in front of Axel, and they give the crowd a DOUBLE CRUCIFIX POSE~, setting the pyros off around the stage! COLE They seem to be on the same page! CABOOSE They'll need to be against Drek Stone. AND Chris Stevens, no less. COACH And Jumbo! CABOOSE Yeah...right. Jumbo. Axel slides into the ring, then holds the ropes open for Crystal...who slides under them, sparing Axel a playful smile before climbing to the far corner. Axel climbs the adjacent corner, and the two superstars play to the cheering crowd. COACH That's a hell of a team in that ring! "Down With the Sickness" dies off, being replaced by "Bound for the Floor" and a HUGE round of boos. CABOOSE All right! Now here's a true wrestler. The fans boo as out walks Chris Stevens, looking like somebody just cancelled his favorite TV show. Behind him is Jumbo, looking kinda scuzzy. Neither man comes even remotely close to smiling. COLE Jumbo and Stevens look to be in a sour mood tonight, guys. CABOOSE Now, that I can't understand. Teaming wiht Drek Stone is the chance of a lifetime. Stevens and Jumbo stop halfway down the ramp, waiting for their partner. Stevens and Hoff jaw as "BFTF" dies off... Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You'd Be The Chosen One And a MONSTROUS chorus of boos greets the reigning OAOAST World Champion, Drek Stone. CABOOSE YES!! COLE There he is, our proud World Champion. Drek, unlike his teammates, is smiling wide, wearing the beautiful OAOAST World Title around his waist. In the ring, both Axel and Hoff eye it hungrily. COACH It's an odd situaiton, guys, with two basically #1 contenders to the World Title teaming up together! Hopefully they'll be able to get along! CABOOSE It doesn't matter. Neither one has a shot in hell of beating Drek Stone. Drek heads down the ramp, meeting up with his teammates. Drek and Stevens share a quick word of strategy before they head into the ring. Once in the ring, Drek and Chris pose, drawing some boos from the crowd. Jumbo...well, he's just kind of there. The two teams eye each other as Michael Buffer steps in between, heading to the center of the ring for introductions. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining! Introducing first, to my left, weighing in at a combined 668 pounds, the team of AXEL, CRYSTAL, AND HOFF!!!!!!!!! The intros draw a big pop! BUFFER And their opponents. At a combined weight of 786 pounds, they are Chris Stevens, Ricardo "Jumbo" Montana, and the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World, DRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!! "BOOOOOOO" Buffer gets the hell out of dodge as the teams head to their corners. Hoff and Axel start to play a game of rock-paper-scissors to see who goes first, but Crystal rolls her eyes and orders them out. Meanwhile, Stevens tells the champ to "let me handle this," and Drek gladly obliges. *ding ding ding* COLE And we are underway!! Stevens and Crystal start it off, circling each other and sizing each other up. COLE These two no strangers to each other; they fought each other in the Elimination Chamber at Thanksgiving Star Wars! COACH Actually, we've got four of the entrants in that match in THIS match! CABOOSE Not to mention a combined ten title reigns in the ring, with various belts -- none of them Jumbo's, either. COACH Wait, you're a heel, aren't you supposed to like Jumbo? CABOOSE Probably. COLE One week without breaking kayfabe, is all I ask... Stevens and Crystal finally lock up, and Crystal takes Stevens over with a deep arm drag! The fans cheer as Stevens is right back up and again arm dragged down! Stevens pops up yet again and looks as Crystal, frowning and looking pissed, before charging in again. Crystal grabs for Stevens' arm, but Chris stops her with a well-placed kick to the ribs! The fans jeer as Crystal falls, clutching her stomach as Stevens smirks. CABOOSE He's not as dumb as you look, Coach. And you look DUMB. COACH Thanks! Stevens pulls Crystal up and whips her off the ropes, catching her off the far side with a back elbow. Crystal's head snaps back, allowing Stevens to chop her in the chest-- COACH YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY GURL'S CHEST, STEVENS!! Stevens chops again, STINGING the chest of Crystal through her shirt and all. The Female Phenom reels, backing into the ropes, and Stevens whips her off the far side. Stevens leapfrogs Crystal as she comes back, then looks for his superkick, but Crystal catches the foot! Crystal spins Stevens around, and catches him with a dropsault that floors him! The fans cheer as Crystal gets back to her feet! Crystal spies Stevens on his hands and knees, and surprises him with an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO! NO! Stevens kicks out. J.R. OKLAHOMA ROLL BY GAWD!! BOOMER SOONER!! CABOOSE YOU!! LEAVE!! Both competitors get to their feet, and Crystal tries to hit Stevens with a running clothesline, but Stevens ducks and runs forward, tagging in Drek. Drek looks at Stevens in utter disbelief. DREK "YOU TAGGED ME?!" Stevens points at Crystal in the ring, who is waving either man on. DREK "THAT WASN'T THE PLAN!!" COLE Drek wanting no part of this match! CABOOSE Hey, the champ needs some rest, Cole. Show some love. Stevens steps out of the ring and the ref starts his five count, drawing Stone begrudgingly into the ring. Drek steps in...then turns around and tags in Stevens. COACH HA! Awesome! CABOOSE Oh, we do not need this. Guys, stay focused. Stevens looks at Drek like he just ran over Stevens' dog. Drek smiles thinly as Crystal taps her foot, waiting. Stevens shakes his head, and enters the ring...and tags Jumbo. This gets the crowd laughing. COLE SOMEONE needs to get in there!! Jumbo looks positively stunned. Stevens points to Crystal, ordering Jumbo in, and Jumbo eyes Crystal before hesitantly stepping in. Jumbo walks over to Crystal, changing his expression to try to look tough... *BAM* But Crystal reaches up and ROCKS him with a huge forearm shot! Crystal DRILLS him with another one, then sends him off the ropes! Jumbo lumbers across the ring, hits the ropes, and comes back...running right into a BEAUTIFUL spinning heel kick that floors him! Jumbo wastes no time in crawling back to his corner...but, looking at each other, Stevens and Drek simultaneously hop off of the apron and onto the floor! COLE What the hell?! The crowd actually cheers, amused by the antics. Stevens yells for Jumbo to take care of business...but before he can even get up, Jumbo is grabbed by the hair by Crystal and dragged over to the fan favorite's corner! Crystal applies an armwringer, and tags in Axel!! The fans cheer as Axel steps into the ring and levels a STIFF kick to the elbow joint of Jumbo, drawing an "ooh" from the crowd. Crystal steps out of the ring, and Axel goes to work. The Dark One hammers Jumbo with a series of lefts and rights, baking him up into the ropes. Axel whips Jumbo off, but Jumbo reverses and Axel goes flying. Axel comes back off the ropes and hits a BIG clothesline that sends Jumbo reeling! Axel comes off the ropes again, ans hits ANOTHER clothesline, and this one sends Jumbo down! The fans cheer! "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" Jumbo tries to find his feet, but stumbles, landing in the ring ropes. Axel laughs derisively at the large man, before pulling him up and catching him with a STIFF uppercut that draws yet another "ooh" from the fans. Jumbo reels, and Axel back up, then darts forward, catching Jumbo with a HUGE Harlem sidekick!! Jumbo crashes to the mat, and Axel jumps on him with a lateral press! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOO!! Not quite! Axel gets off of Jumbo and pulls him back up. Axel hammers the big man with a right hand, but Jumbo fires back -- but Axel blocks and DRILLS him again! Jumbo stumbles backwards....right into a blind tag from Stevens!! CABOOSE You know what they say, guys. COACH Don't piss into the wind? CABOOSE If you want something done right... COLE Ask mommy! CABOOSE ...um...no. Do it yourself. COLE I can't tie my shoes... Stevens hops over the ropes and lands in the ring -- and walks into an Axel uppercut! Stevens snaps back, reeling, and Axel grabs his arm and twists it, doubling Stevens over. Stevens quickly, though, does that cool roll-through counter, dragging Axel over. The fans boo as Stevens kneels down and keeps the arm barred, trying to wear Axel down. COLE Stevens trying to cool the red-hot Axel off! On the ring apron, though, Hoff is going BERSERK, stomping and yelling and trying to get the crowd into it! Crystal joins in, clapping and shouting encouragement to Axel, and then the whole crowd gets into it, and before you know it Axel is ON HIS FEET, dazing a wide-eyed Stevens with a back elbow! Stevens lets go of the arm, and Axel turns around, kicking Stevens in the midsection!! Axel grabs Stevens by the neck, and hooks him up, lifting him for a vertical suplex! But Stevens slips out behind Axel and lands on his feet! Stevens charges forward, using the ropes to roll the Aussie superstar up!! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Axel breaks free of the pinning predicament in the nick of time. Stevens rolls backwards and onto his feet, meeting Axel with a dropkick that sends him down to the mat. Stevens gets back to his feet, pulling Axel up and applying a hammerlock. Stevens twists the arm, and Axel grits his teeth in pain...and REVERSES THE HOLD, trapping Stevens in the hammerlock! But Stevens quickly trips Axel with a modified drop toe hold, sending Axel down face-first to the mat! Stevens pounces, grabbing Axel's head and applying a side headlock!! Stevens cinches the hold in, but Axel tries vailantly to fight out! CABOOSE That's the thing with Stevens. He's not flashy, but he's such a great basic wrestler than everything he does hurts. I love it. Axel powers up to one knee as the fans again get in his corner! Stevens tries to tighten the hold, but Axel is up, and fires off an elbow to the gut of Stevens! Another, and another, and Stevens lets go, and Axel LUNGES for his corner and TAGS IN HOFF!! COLE WHOOOOA BOY!! The arena EXPLODES as Hoff steps into the ring, charging at Stevens and FLOORING him with a clothesline!! Stevens stumbles up, and Hoff WALLOPS him again with a stiff clothesline!! One more time, Stevens comes up, and goes down with a- NO!! Stevens catches the clothesline and applies a FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! CABOOSE WHAT A COUNTER!! Stevens SCREAMS at Hoff as he leans back into the hold! Hoff grimaces, and the ref asks the big man if he wants to quit, but Hoff shakes his head no! Hoff grits his teeth, and Stevens wrenches back on the arm, drawing a yelp from the big man. CABOOSE Break his arm, Chris, break it, BREAK IT!! COLE CABOOSE!! CABOOSE Hey. Some men have porn, I have violence. COLE Well....that's disgusting. Stevens keeps the hold locked....but Hoff shifts his weight! Hoff slowly starts to swing his legs around, inching his way to the ropes...but Stevens sees it and lets up on the hold, grabbing the arm and instead driving a knee to the shoulder! Hoff grabs his arm and rolls away as Stevens gets to his feet. Stevens stalks after Hoff, who uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. Hoff turns to face Stevens, but gets ROCKED by a hard European uppercut. Stevens whips Hoff into the ropes, and catches him coming off with a high knee to the face! Hoff goes down, and Stevens makes the quick cover! ONE! TWO! NO!!! Almost three! Hoff gets a shoulder up in the nick of time, drawing an angry look from Stevens. Stevens pulls Hoff up, then grabs him around the midsection, hooking his own head underneath Hoff's arm! COACH Could be the Northern Lights Suplex! CABOOSE Good guess, Kreskin. Stevens hooks his hands and prepares to pop the hips, but Hoff drives his knee into Stevens' gut!! Stevens shudders, and Hoff does it AGAIN, causing Stevens to let go! Hoff, though, keeps Stevens' head hooked and grabs him, lifts him up, and drops him in a textbook vertical suplex! Hoff gets up and pulls Stevens to his feet, hooking him again, drawing a big pop from the fans! COLE We haven't seen this in a while! CABOOSE Oh, good, the not-rolling vertical suplexes. Eddie Guerrero would probably be pissed if this didn't suck. Hoff lifts Stevens up again, and drops him with a second vertical suplex!! The fans cheer as Hoff pulls Stevens up for a THIRD time!! COACH THIS IS THE ONE WHERE HE HOLD HIM FOR A LONG TIME!! CABOOSE I hate you. Hoff lifts Stevens up and holds him...holds him....HOLDS him...but Stevens slips free! Stevens lands behind Hoff and quickyl shoves him forward, right into Hoff's own corner, where Drek Stone NAILS him in the face!! COLE COME ON!!! Hoff reels back after the vicious forearm shot from Stone, and stumbles right into a Chris Stevens German suplex!! The bridge!! ONE!! TWO!! THRNO~!! ALMOST!!! The fans pop as Hoff kicks out of the bridge, rolling away. Chris Stevens pounds the mat as he gets to his feet, then grabs Hoff, but Hoff charges and drives Stevens into the neutral corner!! Hoff stands up and catches a surprised Stevens with a BIG shoulder block that crumples Stevens up a bit! Hoff reaches in, grabs Stevens' arm, and whips him cross-corner, sending Stevens HARD into the opposite buckle!! Hoff looks at him from across the ring and smiles, backs up, and charges in with the newest move in his arsenal... COLE STINGER SPLASH!!!! The fans go CRAZY as the near-300 pounder FLATTENS Stevens with the HUGE Stinger Splash!! Hoff steps back, and Stevens falls face-first out of the corner!! Hoff rolls him over, and the fans count along with the referee... "ONE!!!!!" "TWOOOOO!!!!" "THREEEEOHHH!!! BOOOOO!!!" The fans jeer as Stevens BARELY kicks out, and quickly crawls away, diving to his corner and tagging in Drek Stone. Stone looks down, then over at Jumbo who takes a step back. Drek looks at Hoff, who stands in the middle of the ring, nodding, smirking, and coolly waving Drek on. The fans go BANANA~! COACH Sneak preview time!! COLE Oh, man, this is gonna be electric... The fans are chanting "HOFF" as though their lives depended on it! Drek looks at Hoff...sneers, shakes his head, and steps into the ring! Hoff steps into a fighting stance as Drek approaches...and the two lock up!! Champion and challenger struggle for position, turning....until Hoff FLINGS Drek into the corner!! The fans POP as Drek hits the corner, and GLARES at Hoff! Hoff waves him on, and Drek CHARGES out of the corner!! Drek throws a right hand, but it's BLOCKED, and Hoff DRILLS the champion!! Drek reels, turning away from Hoff and then back to face him with another right hand but it's BLOCKED AGAIN, and Hoff PASTES Drek with a HUGE right hand!! Drek almost lifts off the ground as he stumbles back into the ring ropes!! Hoff grabs him, whips him off the far side, and catches Drek with a POWERSLAM~! The cover!! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO~!! CABOOSE I don't think so!! Not that quick, Hoff!! Hoff gets up and pulls Drek to his feet, scooping him and slamming the Champ to the mat! Hoff looks down, sizes it up, and jumps with a big legdrop...but Drek rolls out of harms' way! Hoff lands hard on his tailbone and falls back, and Drek goes for a cover!! WITH A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS!! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! Hoff breaks free, and the two men pop to their feet!! Hoff charges with a wild clothesline, but Drek ducks, and catches Hoff with a neckbreaker!! Hoff hits hard, favoring his head, and Drek rolls backwards into a cover! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO!!! CABOOSE Come on, Champ!! Show them why you're the man!! Drek pulls Hoff up, but the big man startles Drek with a right hand as he rises!! Hoff nails Drek again, and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him and YANKING him back in-- but Drek ducks the short-arm!! Drek grabs Hoff ina rear waistlock, but Hoff throws a back elbow that stuns Drek! Hoff quickly capitalizes, turning around and flooring Drek with a big clothesline!! Hoff gets up... COLE OH, wow, look at Axel!! On the apron, Axel is SCREAMING to be let into the match!! Hoff looks at Axel, then to the fans, shrugging...and the fans EXPLODE!! Hoff smiles, nods a big nod, and TAGS IN AXEL!! COLE OH MY!! Axel sprints into the ring and grabs Drek, pulling him up!! Axel hoists Drek onto his shoulders, and before Drek has the foggiest idea what's going on, Axel drops him in a DEATH AVLLEY DRIVER!! Cover by Axel! ONE!! TWO!! THRNO!!!! CABOOSE Oh, this is not good. Axel gets back up and pulls Drek to his feet. Axel hooks Drek's head under his arm, and drives him down with the EVENFLOW DDT!! ANOTHER cover!! ONE!! TWO~!! THREENO~!!! SO close!! COACH Axel is a MONSTER!! CABOOSE Come on, Drek, fight it!! Axel yanks Drek back to his feet once again. Axel whips Drek off the ropes, and looks for the Harlem Sidekick -- but Drek ducks it! Drek comes off the other side, and SPEARS Axel down!!! The fans boo as Drek gets to his feet, smiling down at Axel...then at Hoff. Hoff looks at Drek blankly...then suddenly turns angry as realization hits him. HOFF "DON'T YOU SAY IT, DREK!!" But Drek nods, and motions to a camera at ringside. We cut to that camera as Drek leans into the shot and says... DREK "BAM, BABY, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!!" COLE What the hell? COACH I don't-- hey, look at Hoff!! Hoff is ENRAGED, and tries to get into the ring, but the referee holds him back!! Drek laughs, and grabs Axel....but Axel grabs Drek and plants him with a SPINEBUSTER!!!! COLE Do you really think it's better than Hoff's? COACH The $100 Axel gave me says it is. COLE  Axel lays Drek out, and smiles, pleased with the damage he's caused, then heads to his corner and tags in Crystal. COACH BAAAABY-GURRRRRRRL!!!! Crystal hops in, and Drek tries to crawl to the corner!! Sadly, neither of his partners are looking for the tag, and before he can reach them, Drek is grabbed from behind by Crystal!! Crystal grabs Drek's legs, then flips him over and crosses them, to a HUGE pop!!! COLE THE CRYSTALLING!! Crystal's going for it all!! The crowd is BONKERS as Crystal tries to turn Drek over, and the Heavyweight Champion does his best to twist and contort out of the move. Seeing his teammate in trouble, Chris Stevens finally gets some initiative……and sends Jumbo into the ring. Jumbo steps in immediately and dashes towards the Female Phenom -- well, as fast as a 6’3 330-pound can dash, anyway. CABOOSE Impressive! Lightning-quick speed here from Jumbo! COACH Yeah! At this rate, he’ll reach Crystal by around AngleMania IX Axel, obviously sensing what Jumbo has in mind, steps into the ring quickly to intercept the Big Man’s attack. As Jumbo lumbers towards Crystal, Axel raises his leg up for a BIIIIIIIIIIIG BOOOOOOOOOOOT…… …..BUT JUMBO SIDESTEPS OUT OF THE WAY! AND AXEL HITS CRYSTAL IN THE FACE WITH THE BIG BOOT INSTEAD!! COLE WHOA! COACH ….uh oh. The force of the kick sends Crystal straight across the ring, where she eventually crumbles near her team’s corner. The fans gasp, as does Axel, as his beloved partner finds herself out cold on the mat. Axel immediately runs over to Crystal to check on her condition. COLE I know Axel is worried about his girlfriend right now, but this isn’t smart. He can’t afford to completely take his mind off the match at this time. CABOOSE Who’s he trying to fool? I saw that kick! Completely intentional! There’s no better way to break up with a girl than to kick her in the face, right? COACH Oh boy, we’re going to get in trouble for that comment. Axel quickly gets on his knees and plants a kiss on Crystal’s forehead. He then starts stroking her cheek softly, trying to get her to respond in some way. However, despite his efforts, she is still unconscious on the mat. AXEL Crystal…….CRYSTAL! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! As Axel tends to his knocked-out partner, Hoff looks on with a simple roll of his eyes. He then mumbles something under his breath and taps Crystal on her shoulder, effectively tagging himself in. As he steps into the ring, he simply brushes by Axel and Crystal. COACH Well, that was odd. CABOOSE At least Hoff hasn’t ENTIRELY forgotten his competitive spirit. Jumbo, spotting Hoff come into the ring, runs towards him to put the Zero Hour #1 Contender out of the match, and quickly. But Hoff, sensing that he may be close to imminent doom, turns and scoops Jumbo up -- DROPPING HIM TO THE MAT WITH A HUUUUUUUGE SPINEBUSTER! COLE WOW!!! COACH What strength! The fans EXPLODE as Jumbo hits the mat, sending the ring into a noticeable series of shakes. With his partner in crime now down, Stevens doesn’t waste a moment stepping into the ring. He initially darts towards Axel and hits him with a hard knee to the head, sending Axel tumbling beneath the bottom rope and out of the ring. Chris then turns his attention to Hoff and starts peppering him with nasty forearm shots to the back. CABOOSE Some people say love is the strongest force there is….well, Stevens here is pointing out that HATE might be even stronger. COACH ….clever comment there. CABOOSE Thank you. COLE You really put over how much Stevens HATES Hoff there. Well done. CABOOSE I try. Hoff tries his best to swat Stevens away, but Chris won’t be easily daunted. He continues to hit Hoff with vicious shots, getting as far as sending the #1 Contender to his knees wit this physical assault. Wanting to keep the momentum going, Stevens then grabs Hoff by his arm and irish-whips him into the ropes…….but Hoff reverses it and sends Stevens into the ropes instead! The force of the whip leaves Stevens unable to stop his momentum! And as he bounces off the ropes…. HOFF SCOOPS HIM UP AND DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A SPINEBUSTER! COLE Hoff is on FIRE here! The fans pop loudly once again as Hoff stares down at this arch rival. But suddenly, Drek darts forward quickly and jumps up. In mid-air, he wraps his arm around Hoff’s neck in a front-facelock position -- AND DROPS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A BIG STONECUTTER!! CABOOSE Out of nowhere! COLE Keep in mind Drek Stone is the legal man here! With Hoff down and out, Drek turns his opponent over and emphatically hooks the leg. ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *DING! DING! DING!* As the deep bass sounds of “Woke Up This Morning” start to blast over the loudspeakers, Drek quickly rolls off Hoff and out of the ring. With the timekeeper already waiting with the Heavyweight Title, Drek simply snatches it out of his hands and starts walking back up the ramp. CABOOSE Yes! What did I tell you?! This was an absolutely perfect sneak preview of Zero Hour! COLE Simply put, too many people on Hoff’s team were taking their attention away from the match. Axel with attending to Crystal. Hoff with staring down Chris Stevens. And sure enough, all Drek Stone had to do was drop in with the Stonecutter and pick up the W for his team. CABOOSE That is what Drek Stone is all about there. Intelligence! Hoff might be the stronger out of the two, but Drek is certainly the smarter one. And that’s the kind of trait that makes champions! As Drek strolls back up the ramp, proudly holding his Heavyweight Title, Axel gets back up off the floor and immediately starts comforting Crystal once again. Yet, as he strokes her hair soothingly, he turns his attention to Hoff. Hoff starts picking himself off the mat, holding the back of his head, but stops when he sees Axel staring him down with a slight scowl on his face. COACH Uh oh. Axel does NOT look happy there. CABOOSE Would you be if Hoff just cost your team the match?! COLE Would you be if your supposed friend just walks by you as you worry about your unconscious girlfriend, instead of stopping to help out? CABOOSE Oh, please, Cole. That was the one admirable thing he did tonight. COACH Yeah, well, Axel doesn’t look like he appreciated it. As Hoff stares at Axel with a confused look on his face, he turns his head to the right and spots Jumbo and Stevens walking around the side of the ring together. They too have their eyes locked upon the H-Man, but there’s no mistaking their scowl here. They are downright pissed, and they have no problem showing that anger to Hoff through their eyes. COACH Hoff is finding anger all around him. One of the biggest moments in his life -- getting ready for a Heavyweight Title match in his hometown -- and everyone around him is angry. Furious eyes to the left. Furious eyes to the right. Hoff has nowhere to turn. So instead, he stares straight, keeping his vision locked upon the top of the ramp. Just long enough to see Drek Stone stand near the entranceway, proudly holding the Heavyweight Championship high above his head. The championship Hoff so desperately wants. The championship Hoff will never get if he makes the same critical mistakes he made tonight. *FADE TO BLACK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
