SJL Crimson - Sunday, May 12th

May 12, 2002

Here be monsters, and a show for yoooou!

SJL Crimson Card

Sunday May 12

Arena: The MCI Center in Washington DC!

Singles Match

Cutthroat v “The Franchise” Mak Francis

- Francis fought admirably in his debut, so we’re rewarding him with a shot at everyone’s favorite jobber, Cutthroat, who is fresh off of a thrashing in a handicap match against Poisyn and Insane Luchador!

Hardcore Singles Match

”Deathwish” Danny Williams v Frost

- Williams lost the Euro title on Metal, and Frost won the number one contendership to that same title now held by Tod deKindes! The new champ was lucky enough to get the night off, so these two men who are hot on his heels will fight each other in a hardcore match to get their… frustrations out.

Promo – Tod deKindes, not scheduled to compete tonight, has a few comments about his Euro title win and his thoughts on his nearest competitors, those being Deathwish, TNT (the TV champ), and Frost.

Non-Title Singles Match

”TNT” Taylor Nicholas Thompson v Sydney Sky

- The TV champ deserves to be booked against quality competition. Sky does not deserve a title shot due to a lackluster performance and sound thrashing at the hands of Xero at Metal. End result? This match.

Elimination Triple Threat Match

Poisyn v Ced Ordonez v Flexxx

- The three most powerful factions in the league will face off tonight in two three way dances. Poisyn’s and IL’s alliance (or as I like to call them Team PIL) will face the test of the always dangerous Flexxx, the partner of Mafia, and Ced Ordonez of XF9!

Promo – Ash Ketchum, also luckily not scheduled to compete tonight, comments on his amazing title win and his thoughts on Tom Flesher’s announcement later tonight regarding the stipulations of his rematch on Metal…

First Fall Wins Triple Threat Match

Insane Luchador v Z v Mafia

- Part two. Read above.

Inferno Match for the Number One Contendership to the SJL Heavyweight belt

Jacob Helmsley v Xero

- Xero won impressively on Metal, but the fans want more! They want a Contender they can get behind, and the want creative violence! Thus, this match. The winner of this match will get the SJL champ, whoever it may be, on next Crimson. Assuming that either man survives, of course.

Rules – Duh. Once both men are in the ring the bottom ring rope will be set on fire. The first man to catch on fire loses. NO DQ or countouts. Stationed around the ring will be many, many refs with fire extinguishers to prevent injury. Don’t go too nuts guys. Remember, we’d prefer if you didn’t kill anyone. Try to set boots and gloves on fire, will ya?

Promo – “The Superior One” Tom Flesher is pissed. Royally pissed, and who can blame him? Well tonight is the first step toward regaining his title as he names the stipulations for his rematch on Metal. Surely, Ash’s reign will go down in the record books… but probably not for the reasons he wanted.

May 12, 2002

A shot of the sold out sign for the MCI Center in Washington D.C. is shown as the word Crimson in red letters with a blood dripping animation cuts into a video montage.

A clip of the main event match of Metal Tom Flesher v Ash Ketchum airs. As the two men turn to face each other, Ash looking tough angry, Flesher confident as he flexes in front of Ash and makes goofy faces, only driving the uncontrollable Ketchum deeper and deeper into anger...

Another clip airs of Ketchum hitting the Mew Driver and then a quick cut to Flesher sending Ketchum to the Head Trauma Express with an Ego Buster. A voice over of Suicide King states “Pokemania’s just been deflated.” Then an Edwin voiceover says “POKEMANIA’S BACK ON TRACK!!! TOOT, TOOOOOOOOOOOT!” While Ketchum hits Poke ball, Go and covers Flesher for the one, two…three and the 10 ounces of gold.

At first Ketchum looks lost but soon recovers and feels the appreciation from his fans and the other wrestlers in the ring holding him up and celebrating along with him. Axis voices over while all this is happening “Ladies and gentlemen: I have seen so much in my career, but I have never seen such appreciation for what one man has done not just for the SWF and SJL but the world of sports entertainment in general. Over the past 11 years, Ash Ketchum has wrestled in many federations, and for a while, the SJL has been his home. And now, he is king of the castle in a way. I congratulate you, Ash Ketchum. This has been a long time coming, friend.

[Fade out]

Then a loud explosion of pyrotechnics, flashing lights and smoke occurs directly in front of the Smarktron signifying that SJL Crimson is under way. The camera quickly pans the audience as fans wave such signs as, Pokemania’s Gone Mad, ”The Superior Loser” Tom Flesher, Ash Ketchum = Pokefreak, and the oh so common marks sign with arrows pointing everywhere for the chance at appearing on television. The camera zooms in on the commentating crew.

Axis: We are live from the sold out MCI Center in Washington, D.C. for SJL Crimson. I’m Axis and to my left and right respectively are “The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache”…Edwin MacPhisto and Former SWF World Champion, “The King of Hearts”…The Suicide King.

Edwin MacPhisto: We have a nice card in-store for you tonight, and man this place is ready for some magnificent SJL match-ups and momentous thoughts from new SJL World Champion Ash Ketchum. After winning the gold we’ll hear from Ash as he comments on what Tom Flesher might have waiting for him and what it’s like to achieve his boy-hood dream of being the best Poke…I mean best SJL wrestler.

Suicide King: Boy-hood dream? Who do you think this kid is, Shawn Michaels? Listen to the rousing ovation the crowd gave me MacPhisto! Flash and Panache my ass…it’s more like flaming panda hugger. Anyways, we’ll hear from Tod deKindes fresh off his European title win. And we’ll also hear from the man who lost the 10 ounces of gold and boy is he pissed. “The Superior One” speaks out on his contractual rematch for this up coming Metal. What does he have in store for our new World Champ? I can guarantee it’ll be nothing short of superior and that, you can bet on!

Axis: Well tonight we start with two competitors that came off on the losing end of the stick during SJL Metal. Cutthroat requested and received more than he could handle in a Handicap match against The Insane Luchador and Posyin. While, “The Franchise” got the loss in his debut match against Scott Reid.

Edwin MacPhisto: Francis looked like he might not even be worth the league minimum, let alone the Franchise tag, after Reid gave him an old school ass kicking.

Suddenly, there is an instantaneous blackout through out the entire arena with an electric sound and then a pause; only the light rhythms of a song can be heard. Funyon, the best-dressed mic man in the business, gets ready to announce. Then, a huge explosion fills the stage with enchanting white light and all the lights slowly flash a purple, and it paints the entire arena purple, as a thunderclap echoes through the arena with segues into Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” blasting through the speakers and rocking the arena to it’s very core. Then Cutthroat pulls back the curtain to meet the millions of earth shattering cheers, yell, woos, and many other rants and other sounds along with them, all coming from his millions of fans. Cutthroat makes his way down the ramp with Claire, slapping fans hands as he gets into the ring.

Funyon: Weighing in at 214 pounds…from Greenwich, Connecticut…Cutthroat!!”

Down with the Sickness” blares as the room goes dark again. Blue and White strobe style lights flash, as the words ‘Are you Ready’ fly across the screen, a digitized voice repeats them. This occurs two times when the band normally has a speaking part. At the part where the band first yells, the digitized voice screams ‘Cause the Franchise is Here’. The big screen flashes the words 'The Franchise'. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis and he comes out onto the stage. Then he slowly strolls down to ringside with Tyler Kinkel, clipboard in hand. He smoothly enters through the middle ropes. Francis then poses in the center of the ring with both his hands raised in the air while Kinkel sits at the announce table to the right of the Suicide King.

Funyon: And his opponent…weighing in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…”The Franchise” Mak Francis!

The referee Mike Kivell, checks both men for illegal objects and asks for the bell as this match-up is underway.

Axis: And this one on one single falls match-up is underway between Cutthroat and “The Franchise”. One of these two men will end the loss streak tonight, in this opening match-up.

Tyler Kinkel: I can’t believe you have the best rookie in the SJL curtain jerking against Cutthroat. It’s a disgrace to everything Mak stands for.

Suicide King: Maybe after a win against Cutthroat Mak will finally get the respect I think he deserves. What about it commish’, you going to give Mak the matches these fans want to see him in.

Edwin MacPhisto: How about he actually defeats Cutthroat, which isn’t an easy task I might add. He has some potential but things just don’t seem to go his way. He’s known to make costly errors throughout a match-up.

Axis: I’m sure that given the chance Cutthroat will perform to the level necessary to win in the SJL.

Claire paces in front of the announce table cheering and clapping her hands.

Suicide King: But he’s definitely not on franchise level. These great comments brought to you by the only announcer here to win the SWF World Title, The King of Hearts. Hey Claire, if you’re getting tired you can always sit on my lap. Why be with your average, everyday chump, when you can have a King.

Claire gives him the finger and continues encouraging Cutthroat. Axis and Edwin laugh uncontrollably at her response.

Axis: You’re a sad, lecherous man King…

Edwin MacPhisto: Hey King, didn’t you know. In the game of life a Queen always beats a King, jackass. Looks like the panda hugger’s finally shut you up!

Suicide King: [speechless]…

Francis and Cutthroat forget the traditional grapple for position and start off by punching the living snot out of each other. The two men trade rights and left but Francis is not the best puncher in the world and soon Cutthroat takes control. Cutthroat grabs Francis by the arm and whips him towards the ropes but Francis reverses, sending Cutthroat careening. He rebounds off the ropes and attempts a clothesline but Francis ducks. After bouncing off the ropes again Cutthroat runs right into a textbook dropkick by Francis.

Axis: Good extension on the dropkick by Francis.

Suicide King: I would even go so far as to say that he has textbook execution on his dropkick.

Edwin MacPhisto: So he speaks after all!

Suicide King: Shut up MacPhisto!

Cutthroat, now back to his vertical base, goes for a collar and elbow tie-up. Francis accepts and the two men fight for position. Since Francis has the advantage in strength Cutthroat uses his speed and connects with a knee to the gut. He backs, a now winded Francis into the corner, and punches him with a viscous razor punch. The quick uppercut dazes Francis and he receives a boot to the stomach directly after. The crowd now behind Cutthroat, cheers him on as he repeats the same two maneuvers. Kivell moves in and tries to get a clean break but luck is not on his side because Francis grabs Cutthroat by the neck and tosses him into the turnbuckle he previously occupied. Francis lays into Cutthroat with a devastating chop that cause a dark pink mark to appear on his chest and the crowd responds as usual by yelling “Whooo!” Francis attacks again laying in another viscous chop across the chest this time causing Cutthroat to dance out of the corner in pain.

Edwin MacPhisto: If Cutthroat wants to get anywhere in this match-up he needs to use his speed to make up for the power advantage Francis has. He needs to get to the top turnbuckle and fly.

Tyler Kinkel: Mak’s finally started off serious for a change. He’s kept Cutthroat grounded, which was one of the main points we went over before the match.

Francis levels Cutthroat by flowing nicely into a DDT after a boot to the midsection. Francis floats over and attempts a lateral press. Kivell slides into position as Axis counts along with him…

One…

Two

Axis: And a kick-out at two by Cutthroat. Mr. Kinkel, what were you saying about “The Franchise” taking this seriously? He didn’t really put all his weight into that cover. Silly mistakes like that and a well-placed Pittsburgh Plunge cost him the match against Scott Reid.

Tyler Kinkel: [no response]….

Axis: What, you don’t want to talk about that?

Francis picks him up and executes a nice snap suplex, causing Cutthroat to arch his back in pain. He follows it up with two successive elbow drops to the sternum and concludes the assault with a standing leg drop and goes for the pin fall, still using a lateral press. Kivell already in position makes the count and…

One…

Two

Axis: And a kick-out by Cutthroat. “The Franchise” has been in control for most of this match-up.

Edwin MacPhisto: Ever since they stopped brawling Francis has had the advantage. Francis saw where his disadvantage was and slowed the pace down. With Cutthroat not being able to brawl and being grounded he has no shot to win this match. Cutthroat needs to get back to brawling, so that he can go up top and hit his aerial attacks.

Francis picks Cutthroat up again and whips him into the ropes and he rebounds right into a sleeper hold from “The Franchise”. After a little while Cutthroat drops to one knee, but the crowd brings him back to life while Claire bangs her hands on the canvas. Cutthroat connects with an elbow, and then buries another elbow deep into Francis’s gut. He grabs Francis and sets up for an Irish whip into the corner but Francis reverses and short arms Cutthroat back towards his open, awaiting arms. Francis tosses Cutthroat half way across the ring with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Francis slowly walks over to his competitor and laughs a little not going for the cover but instead picks him up and pokes him in the eyes. The crowd chants “you’re an asshole” but Francis just picks Cutthroat up on his shoulder and carries him towards the turnbuckle.

Edwin MacPhisto: Francis just made another rookie mistake. You should always attempt the pin when you have the chance. This could come back to bite him later in this match.

Tyler Kinkel: For once I agree with you MacPhisto. He’s still acting like an immature boy instead of “The Franchise”. [stated to Mak] Get your head in the game Mak! End it now!

Suicide King: I agree. If Mak wants this “W” he’d be better off ending it now while he has Cutthroat grounded.

Axis: Hey you guys, what’s “The Franchise” doing now?

Francis places Cutthroat on the top turnbuckle and forces him to hang upside down. As Kivell tries to get Cutthroat’s legs untied he has to dive out of the way as Francis executes a devastating baseball slide to the mouth of Cutthroat. The crowd lets out a startled “ooh” as Francis, now on his knees, flexes his left bicep looks down at Claire with a smirk on his face. The referee Kivell finally gets Cutthroat’s legs free but Francis places him on the top rope again but this time in position to deliver a super backdrop. Francis faces towards the opposite turnbuckle, hooking his arm under Cutthroat’s necks and placing it on his shoulder.

Axis: What the hell is “The Franchise” doing now?

Suicide King: Well he told me to call it “An Excellent Execution”. It’s a hangman’s neckbreaker from the top turnbuckle. I’d say it one of his best moves.

Tyler Kinkel: This match is over.

Suddenly Cutthroat fights back with elbows trying not to get dumped on his head from off the top rope. He succeeds in knocking Francis to the ground face first and struggles to stands up on the turnbuckle while Francis holds his nose in pain. Cutthroat, finally able to get to his feet, soars high in the air and hits a turning Francis with crushing cross body. Cutthroat hooks the leg as Kivell hits the mat and starts to count…

One…

Two…

Th-

Axis: And “The Franchise” gets the shoulder up. How did Cutthroat turn things around so quickly with one aerial move?

Tyler Kinkel: God damn it!

Cutthroat runs quickly to the corner and gets to the top rope in a single leap. He signals to the crowd and jump off the top rope pumping in his arms and legs as camera flash. He comes down with his full body weight onto Francis and connects with his Five Star Frog Splash! The crowd goes nuts waiting for the cover but Cutthroat just holds his stomach in pain as he falls off the knees of Francis!

Suicide King: What ring sense by Mak! He got the knees up just in time to stop Cutthroat from winning this match-up!

Axis: Francis goes for the cover…

One…

Two…

Three

Axis: No! He kick-out! That’s just unbelievable…

Tyler Kinkel: Show him why you get the franchise buck and the franchise perks. Show them all “The Franchise Tag”.

Francis picks Cutthroat up and hooks his leg for a fisherman’s suplex. He then lifts him up like he’s going for a vertical suplex but drop him to the mat in a brainbuster. The crowd looks on in shocks as Francis goes for the cover…

One…

Two…

Three!

Axis: And with a devastating Fisherman’s buster Mak Francis has one his first match in the SJL.

May 12, 2002

(The SJL Crimson theme rips through the loud speakers, bringing the thousands back onto their feet having just rested during the commercial break.)

Axis: Welcome back to SJL Crimson, we’re only knee-deep in what looks to be one great show ahead of us.

Edwin: That’s right, Axis. We’ve got some pure gold ahead of us... I can just smell the ratings from here!

King: I can smell Axis’s B.O. from here.

(With that, the Australian takes a swipe at the former WF World Champ. King ducks and smirks at the glaring somewhere-around-300-pounder.)

King: Ha!

Edwin: Settle down children.

(“The Pittsburgh Plunge” hits the loudspeakers and Scott Reid comes strutting out from behind the curtains with a huge, shit-eating grin across his face. Scott stands there on stage, basking in his own glory.)

Funyon: Hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Scott Reid!

Edwin: Scott Reid? He’s not scheduled to be out here!

Axis: I didn’t think he was scheduled to be here tonight.

(Scott heads down the ramp as fans fight security and rush the guardrail, reaching out for the chance at a high five or anything. He finally reaches the ring and ups the steps and goes over the second rope, entering the ring.)

King: Shush! The man’s got something to say.

(Scott signals to kill the music and reaches down to the technicians for a microphone with the other.)

Scott: You know, I come to the Smarks Junior League looking for a challenge... and I find this, this pathetic excuse of an organization.

Edwin: What?! Is he talking about MY league?! Hold me back, Axis!

(Boo! Scott talks over the uprisal of proud fans and they slowly die out.)

Scott: Your champion is a complete joke and isn’t even fit to wear the gold strapped around his waist!

(More boos try to shield the mega fan favorite from any kind of criticism... Scott quickly stops it all with his hand.)

Scott: Oh come on. Even you morons can see through his cheap ruse. Lets face it; your champion is a sad, sad joke. He’s a twenty-eight year-old man who believes himself to be a Pokémon Rancher or something. That’s sad, very, VERY sad ...and what makes it worse is that every one of you Ash-a-holics out there, you Ketchum-heads and Pokéfreaks, YOU cheer this man and adore him. You chant his name and buy his T-shirts. YOU NAME YOUR CHILDREN AFTER HIM!!!

King: That is pretty sad. Twenty-eight and still plays with children’s toys? Kids called Ash?

Edwin: What’s wrong with playing with children’s toys?!

Axis: Hey, I have a cousin named Ash.

King: But you’re a loonie and you’re an Aussie. Ugh... I’m surrounded by idiots.

Edwin: A proud loonie! Zoink!

(Ahem.)

Scott: Now THAT’S sad...

(“KET-CHUM!! KET-CHUM!!!” The fans start to pump their fists and chant, waiting for their champion to pop out from behind the curtain... He doesn’t come.)

Scott: What? No Ketchum? No Mr. Pokéfreak? I’m astonished! Who would’ve thought that your champion wouldn’t be out here to get in my face and defend the honor of every single one of you bastards sitting in attendance and the millions glued to their TV screens at home?

Axis: I don’t think Ash has even arrived here yet. Yeah... go talk about the champ behind his back.

Scott: Who would’ve thought Ash Ketchum couldn’t muster up the fortitude to even get into the ring with me, much less have the guts to throw a single punch?

Edwin: Who does he think he is? Why I’d sock him in the nose if justice warranted it.

King: Indeed...

Edwin: I would!

Scott: Yeah... your champion is a no-show but look... don’t hold it against him. Who would want to face me? Why call him a PUSSY for not having it in him to confront me face-to-face... Hey you!

(Scott points out the bastard of the night, standing in the first row, his forearms resting on the guardrail. The man is in a Washington Redskins jersey and flanked by a few friends in the jerseys of their favorite Redskin football players. The man pulls his head back confused as he points to himself.)

Scott: Yes YOU, jackass. You want a piece of this?

(The man just smirks and waves the idea away as a joke, but Scott exits the ring and heads straight to him. The man keeps an amused demeanor.)

Scott: You think I’m kidding? I’m in a fighting mood tonight. How about I throw you a pair of boots and you climb in that ring? Oh... you just came to watch the show... I know. So... you like the ‘Skins?

Fan: Yeah.

(Scott slowly turns away with his ever-present smirk sparkling... Smack!

Axis: Whoa! Scott just struck a fan!

Edwin: You don’t DO that here in on MY show!

King: I take it he’s not a Washington fan.

Axis: I think he’s trying to get into Ketchum’s head through his fans...

(The guy’s friends pull him back as Scott laughs his ass off. Security soon floods the scene.)

Scott: The ‘Skins? They suck as much as this town! Come to Pittsburgh and watch the Steelers in action you sorry bastard.

(Scott rolls in the ring as security checks the man to see if he’s actually hurt. Scott looks around a bit frustrated.)

Scott: Still... no Ketchum to make the save. Where is your hero when you need him? What a champion.

Axis: I’d love to see Ash when he hears about this...

Scott: Ash, if you’re a REAL champion, a REAL man, why don’t you put that strap up against someone of REAL talent, someone of MY caliber, BOY?

(Scott recomposes himself and calms a bit before continuing. He starts up again, now in a calmer tone.)

Scott: No, of course not. You don’t have the POKÉ BALLS to put your belt on the line against me!!

Edwin: Whoa! Don’t go there.

Axis: Big statement coming from the new guy in town.

Scott: You know Ash, this isn’t really about you anyways. This is about the Smarks Junior League World Title and the J-League itself. That title is SCREAMING for a true champion, one man to claim it and restore some credibility to its name. This League is calling out for a champion to take the reigns and lead it to new heights. That man is standing right here before you, but you fail to take notice of the pure talent in front of your eyes, jaded by cool catchphrases and flashy things...

(King looks over next to him to spot Edwin playing with a rather shiny object that glistens so brightly in the arena’s light.)

King: So true...

Scott: I am that man. I am the scion of a new generation for the SJL, SCOTT’S Junior League!

Edwin: This is MY league, BOY!! Hold me back!!! Hold me back, Axis!!

Axis: He certainly has some pretty high hopes for himself.

King: He IS the next Suicide King!!! I’ve been right all along.

Scott: It may not come quickly but it will damn sure come. As you pieces of trash scratch your asses and stare blankly at the ring through your blinded eyes, a new age will dawn on this league and change professional wrestling as both you and I know it!

(“The Pittsburgh Plunge” once again hits the PA. Scott drops the mic and rolls out or the ring. He waves to the angry Redskins fan as he back-peddles up the ramp until finally disappearing behind the curtain.)

Edwin: His second show and he’s already bitching and moaning for a title shot...

King: He’s already fitting right in!

Axis: I don’t know. There’s something special about him. Anyways, after the break, up next are...

May 12, 2002

The camera fades in from commercial to find all of the SJL referees milling about a small room. Some are drinking coffee, some are playing cards at a table; basically killing time between having to work matches out in the arena. “Deathwish” Danny Williams suddenly appears like an apparition out of nowhere at the door of the room. He stretches out his five foot ten, 238-pound frame to fill the opening and sneers at the room of officials. Everyone freezes in place.

Deathwish: “My hardcore match with Frost is next. I need a referee. NOW!”

All of the officials leap to stand with their backs to the far wall, leaving Sexton Hardcastle alone at the table with his back to Williams and five cards in his hands. The ref’s eyes bug out as Williams grabs him by the back of his shirt collar and jerks him out of his seat to send cards flying everywhere. Deathwish drags Hardcastle kicking and screaming from the room.

Hardcastle: “But I just got rid of the Old Maid!”

The pair disappear out of view down the hall and the other refs sigh with relief and wipe the nervous sweat off of their brows.

The camera cuts to the commentator’s table out by ringside. Edwin is suspiciously absent.

Axis: “If our upcoming inferno match wasn’t enough for you hardcore wrestling fans out there, we have a down and dirty old school hardcore encounter between Frost and Deathwish Danny Williams coming up in mere moments.”

King: “Old school hardcore? Is that an oxymoron or have you been smoking banana peels again?”

Axis: (ignoring King) “Frost won the right to challenge the European Champion on the last Metal by defeating T.V. title holder TNT in a number one contender’s match.”

King: “Which at the time was Danny Williams, until he was ROBBED by fake European Tod deKindes.”

Axis: (turning to King) “Or so says Frost from a promo earlier this week, where he declared himself the only real European in the SJL and the only one worthy to hold the belt, despite Tod’s deep ties to his adopted homeland of Germany.”

King: “If there is anything worse than being Euro-trash, it’s pretending to be Euro-trash.”

Axis: “Regardless, the new European Champion is unavailable to wrestle tonight and a contest between his two fiercest enemies was arranged.”

King: “Very much on the sly if you ask me. DeKindes is scheduled to give an interview right after this match, but he can’t be bothered to wrestle.”

Axis: (shrugging his shoulders) “That is the way Edwin arranged the card.”

King: (looking around) “Where did he go anyway? The panda exhibit at the zoo should be closed by now, that sick freak.”

Cut back to Williams dragging Hardcastle on his rear with a firm hand on his shirt collar. Hardcastle’s arms slide across the white, smooth walls of the backstage area of the MCI Center looking desperately for a groove to snag onto.

Deathwish: “I know Frost, I know how he likes to work. He’ll jump a guy before the bell and catch him off guard. Well, I’m going to jump him, before BEFORE the bell.”

Hardcastle: “You know, Long is much more adapt at refereeing hardcore matches than I am. Why don’t I go back and get him?”

Deathwish: (sneering down at Hardcastle) “If we don’t find Frost, I’m going to make kicking your ass my anti-drug.”

With that Williams yanks Sexton back to his feet, spins him around to face forward and pushes him up ahead. At that moment, Frost jumps out from around the corner of the hallway with a sheet of glass and smashes it over Hardcastle’s head, thinking that Williams was still walking in the lead. Sexton drops to the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes, blood streaming from the top of his head. Frost stands there dumbfounded with the jagged, broken end of the pane still in his hands. Deathwish drops his shoulders low and charges into Frost with a bellowing war cry. Frost drops the leftover glass as Danny’s shoulders make contact with his stomach and drives him back into the far wall with a meaty splat. Frost wraps his arms up around Williams’ armpits to wrangle him and the two stumble off grappling like grizzly bears down the hall. The camera pans down to reveal Hardcastle wallowing in a pool of glass shards and his own blood.

Hardcastle: (incoherently mumbling) “But…I just got rid of the…Old Maid…”

Cut back to the main arena where Edwin reappears at the top of the entrance ramp pushing out a giant, green and dirty trash bin. Spray painted on its side in crude letters is the name “DUMPSTER OF STUFF.” The crowd pops mad for the master of flash and panache and Edwin acknowledges their cheering with a few low bows and one very effeminate courtesy.

Axis: “There’s the answer to your earlier question King. It seems that our commissioner was out collecting some very special props for out next contest.”

King: “I didn’t say I wanted him to come back, I just wanted to know where he was.”

Edwin struts down the ring ramp, stopping occasionally to bust out a dance move such as the Mashed Potato and the Monkey to pop the D.C. crowd even more. He then jumps up the ring apron, turns to face the fans and flashes two ‘V’s for victory over his head like so much Richard Nixon. He hops back to the floor and shuffles over to the commentator’s table as the crowd noise dies down.

Edwin: (putting his headset on and taking his seat) “Damn, I rule. No, I reign. Like a king, baby, like a king.”

King: “Hey now!”

Edwin: (tossing a sideways glance to King) “Yeah, I don’t want to compare myself to you now do I?”

Axis: “Let me get us back on track here and ask just what is in that dumpster you brought out.”

Edwin: (bordering on coquettish whimsy) “Oh, a little of this, a little of that, things I found just lying in the street.”

King: “So, that’s where Ted Kennedy got off too.”

Axis: (holding a hand to his ear piece and listening intently) “We have just received word that Frost and Deathwish have met up in the backstage area and are already brawling. We go there now.”

As the camera cuts to the action, Frost and Deathwish are facing each other while backing down a long stretch of hall trading punches. Frost shoots out a jab to the bridge of Deathwish’s nose. Williams replies with a hook to Frost’s ribs. Frost grunts and bends over from the blow. Danny grabs the Icelander by the back of his head and rams his face down as he brings his knee up into Frost’s jaw.

Axis: “We are also getting word, that unbeknownst to us out here in the auditorium, that this battle was jump started when Frost accosted referee Sexton Hardcastle in a sneak attack, believing him to be Williams.”

Edwin: “First thing Frost ever did I can applaud him for.”

Williams takes the stunned Frost and whips him toward a Coke machine in the middle of the hallway. Frost plants a foot to stop the whip, reverses the move and sends Williams crashing chest first into the machine. Deathwish bounces off of the metal structure with a crunch and a groan. Frost hooks his beefy bicep under Danny’s neck on the recoil and drops him with an inverted DDT to the concrete floor.

Edwin: “He’s going to feel that in the morning.”

King: “His unborn children are feeling that now.”

Frost springs back to his feet and lays a series of kicks into Williams’ side, forcing him to roll over onto his face. Frost lifts his leg to deliver a stiff stomp into the back of Deathwish’s head, but the still vital grappler reaches up and grabs Frost’s ankle. This knocks Frost unbalanced and he goes crashing into the wall and slumps to the floor.

Axis: “I am now getting word that attempts are going to be made by SJL officials and security to bring the two men out into the arena proper.”

Edwin: (like a little boy who needs to pee really bad) “Tell them about the dumpster, just tell them about the dumpster and they’ll come out.”

Deathwish climbs to his feet and puts both hands on the back wall of the hallway to support himself. Frost sits dazed on the floor, with a hand on the back of his head where he bumped it on the concrete wall. Williams shoots three quick, short knee strikes into Frost’s face and then pulls him up by what he can grab of the man’s short, snow white hair. Deathwish peppers Frost with three knife-edge chops and the big Icelander touches his reddening chest.

Axis: “While Williams is giving up nine inches and nearly fifty pounds to the hulking Frost, he certainly isn’t giving up any guts in taking it to him.”

Edwin: “I don’t know, maybe you could say he has a deathwish…Bwa-ha-haa, deathwish, get it, he’s got a deathwish.” (Edwin cackles madly)

King: “Where is Charles Bronson when you need him?”

Danny palms the back of Frost’s head like a basketball and runs him across the narrow hall to plaster his skull into the opposite wall. Frost puts up his hands just in time to stop the ram and then slips his right arm down and back to nail Williams with an elbow right under his shoulder. Deathwish teeters back from the blow as Frost plants his right foot firmly and closes his right fist. As best he can in the tight hall, Frost pivots around to catch Danny in the side of his head with a spinning back fist. Williams reels from the shot and stumbles down the hall to get a breather. Frost turns to follow just as a horde of referees and slightly muscular men in black shirts that read “Security” turn the corner and put their hands on him.

Edwin: “The cavalry has arrived.”

King: “And they’re lead by General Custer.”

Frost shakes the men off like they were nothing more than flies buzzing around his head and runs at Williams with a howl. Deathwish turns and braces for impact. Frost charges into him with a full head of steam and scoops Danny up with both arms around his waist and a shoulder wedged into his chest. The pair run off of screen as the refs and hired muscle exasperatedly trail them.

The camera cuts back to the commentator’s table.

Axis: “We are readjusting our cameras at this moment in order to keep up with the action. (Axis puts his hand to his earpiece again) I am being told that the officials are indeed steering the men this way and they should be spilling into the area just behind the entrance way momentarily.”

Edwin: (holding a hand up to his own earpiece and pressing it hard) “How come the voices only talk to you? I don’t hear anything in my headset.”

(King leans back in his chair and slaps Edwin in the back of his head. Edwin juts forward and his headset almost falls off of his head.)

Edwin: “There you go, I got voices in my head.” (He flashes a thumbs up to Axis, who grumbles and sinks his face into his hand)

The camera cuts to Deathwish being whipped into a tall-necked lighting fixture situated just behind the entranceway curtain. He takes it in the back with a clang. Frost charges into camera frame with his sinewy arm extended in a clothesline. Williams ducks down and Frost raps the steel pole of the light. He winces and Deathwish puts a hand up between Frost’s legs to schoolboy him back and over to the ground. Referee Brian Hebner pops out of the pack of still trailing officials and slides into place to count the pin.

ONE

TWO

Frost shakes loose and rolls over to his feet.

King: “Why do you insist on booking these heel vs. heel matches, Edwin, you know they give me ulcers?” (King rubs his side)

Edwin: (matter of factly) “Right, I know they give you ulcers.”

Frost glances to his left to see a black, heavy speaker. He picks it up like it was paper mache and hoists it up high over his head. He lurches forward with the hunk of sound equipment and poises to bring it crashing down on Deathwish’s head. Williams refuses to run or back down and shoots out a thrust kick to Frost’s left knee. The big man drops the speaker to the floor and leans down to hold his leg. Danny leaps up onto the edge of the fallen speaker and hooks Frost around the neck. He hops backwards to the floor and DDT’s Frost into the speaker. His head rips the mesh covering on the outside and impales deep into the equipment’s recesses.

Axis: “IF THAT HAD BEEN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPEAKER, FROST WOULD BE OUT COLD!”

Edwin: (shooting King a glance) “And you yell at me for bad puns.”

Deathwish picks a stray piece of pipe up off of the floor as he rises to his feet. Frost struggles up with the speaker wedged solid onto his skull like a weird mask. Frost staggers around throwing blind punches. Williams whacks the speaker casing repeatedly with the pipe to drive Frost back and out into the arena proper. The two men come through the curtain at the entranceway and the fans burst out in laughter. Referee Brian Hebner follows and takes up a watchful position out of the way.

Edwin: “Ah, it’s a Martian Zombie.” (Edwin slides under the table and cowers in fear.)

King: “I tell you not to watch those late night creature features in the motel rooms. Go to strip clubs like I do.”

Danny looks to his left and spies the “Dumpster of Stuff” with a wry smile. He slings the pipe clanging to the floor and rushes over to the dumpster to see what treasures it holds.

Axis: “Deathwish heads for Edwin’s dumpster and one can only imagine what he might pull out of there.”

Edwin: (popping out from underneath the table) “Screw the Martain Zombies, I’ve got to see this.”

Frost spins around and nearly does a split to the ground. He catches himself with his right hand braced against the floor and shuffles up to regain his footing. He pushes the speaker off of his head and it tumbles off of the raised stage of the entrance platform to the floor below. Frost sees Deathwish half hanging out of the dumpster and heads for it, holding the right side of his ringing head as he does. Williams pulls himself out holding a neon pink and green paint ball gun. He aims it at Frost and fires off three short bursts. The first shot flies wide, but the other two pelt the Icelander on either side of his chest in a rich, deep blue.

Edwin: “And to think, they tried to sell me goggles and a helmet with that.”

Axis: “And for good reason, as those projectiles can reach amazing speeds and pack a solid wallop.”

Edwin: “God love you, Axis, trying to sell the paint ball gun.”

Frost leans back, wind milling his arms in trying to keep his balance. Deathwish crouches down to one knee, puts the gun on his shoulder, squints one eye and fires off a volley into Frost’s genitalia. Frost puts is hands over his pelvis with a grimace and sinks to his knees.

King: “Did they try to sell you a cup?”

The fans roar with laughter again and Williams stands back up to raise his arms in a grand gesture to the crowd.

Axis: “While neither man could be termed a fan favorite, the crowd here seems fairly behind Danny Williams.”

King: “It’s a little hard to back a guy with blue paint smeared all over his crotch.”

Edwin: (wistfully) “Reminds me of junior high.”

Williams stands with his back to the dumpster and arches back to grab the first thing his hands come across. He takes hold of something unseen.

Axis: “The right weapon could mean the coup de gras here.”

Edwin: “I don’t see how goose liver has anything to do with it.”

Deathwish brings the object out of the bin and runs the few feet across the stage to bring it smashing down into Frost’s head. It softly bounces back up into Williams’ hands and he is appalled to discover that he has just tried to pull off the finishing blow with a three foot stuffed panda bear. Deathwish stares the animal in its brown, glassy eyes with disbelief. Frost takes the moment of confusion to muster enough will to send a forearm powering up between Danny’s legs and he to drops to his knees holding his privates.

Edwin: “On their knees, holding their crotches, it’s like they are back up dancers for Madonna.”

Axis: “This match up is a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye.”

King: “And a nut for a nut.”

Frost pulls his head back, holds it cocked for a second and launches a headbutt into Williams’ forehead. Danny’s head snaps back from the blow and his body slumps to his left. Frost gingerly climbs to his feet and limps over to the dumpster. Frost is just tall enough to slightly bend down at the chest to peer inside. Small items like pez dispensers, spray cheese cans and old Van Halen albums go flying off into the nearby crowd, who scoop it up with whoops of joy, as Frost rummages around.

(Axis and King both stare at Edwin, who shrugs his shoulders)

Edwin: “There’s a dollar store right around the corner, what’s a guy to do?”

Frost finally pulls a Louisville slugger out of the bin and runs his hands up and down its polished, hardwood surface. Williams is just now rising to his feet, still very much dazed and out it. He makes his feet, but can then only stand at the tiptop of the entrance ramp swaying in the non-existent breeze. Frost flashes a devilish smile and steps out to face Deathwish. He grinds his feet into the floor and cocks his elbows back to rest the ball bat on his right shoulder.

King: (covering the mic with both hands to produce a muffled echo effect) “Now batting in the clean up position, leading the league in broken bats and broken pitchers, Frost.”

Frost swings for the fences and whiffs nothing but air.

Edwin: (covering the mic with both hands to produce a muffled echo effect) “Playing opossum, Deathwish Danny Williams draws an error from the big man.”

Williams slips behind Frost and comes up behind him with his head under the Iceman’s right arm and slinks his left arm around his opponent’s waist. Frost drops the bat and it goes skidding halfway down the aisle ramp. With a heft and grunt of effort, Deathwish slings Frost over and back to crash down on his head.

Axis: “Williams packs a lot of power into that small frame and proves it in lifting Frost off of his feet for a backdrop driver.”

Edwin: “Better than a backseat driver.”

Williams slides out from under Frost’s prone form and falls on top of him with a lateral press for a pin attempt. Hebner once again slides into place to make the count.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Williams rises to his knees and shakes a finger at the crowd with a mischievous grin on his face.

Axis: “Deathwish breaks the pin of his own accord, not a smart move when a win over the number one contender for the European title would surely put him back in the hunt for the belt he once held.”

Williams coolly walks over to the dumpster, pulls himself up by the lip of the massive bin and disappears inside. Clanks and clunks can be heard as he is rummaging around looking for some massively destructive object.

King: “Frost said earlier this week that he was going to alter his usual game plan for deKindes by worrying more about getting the pin than just plain hurting him. Frost drops that strategy and Deathwish picks it up. In his mind, taking out the man who took everyone else out would be a major triumphant.”

Edwin: (cupping a hand to his ear) “Is that analysis I actually hear from our analyst.”

While Deathwish is still out of sight, Frost sits up on the stage. Saliva spurts out through his gritted teeth and his face is red with anger. He climbs to his feet holding his aching noggin and the fans boo and hiss. Frost pays them no mind as he hears the sounds emanating from the dumpster and stalks over to pull Williams out.

Axis: “Williams might have made a grave error in not going for the victory when he could have easily achieved it.”

Edwin: “No, he made the right decision. There is still a lot of cool stuff in the dumpster they haven’t used yet.”

Frost stands at the front of the bin and bends over to look inside, stretching his arm out to catch Danny. Suddenly, two arms can be seen extending out of the dumpster bringing a microwave up hard to conk Frost in the chin. His head whiplashes back and Frost stumbles away.

Edwin: “Like that.”

A five foot wide, metal wagon wheel pops out of the dumpster, hangs in the air for a second and lands on the stage with a slight rolling on its axis until it comes to a rest.

Edwin: “And most definitely that.”

Deathwish pulls himself up to the side of the bin, swings his leg over to rest there for a second and then slips down to the floor. Frost leans against the back wall of the entranceway holding the back of his hand to his now bloody lip. Frost pulls his hand away and gawks at the blood for a second before charging at Williams.

Axis: “Like a bull, Frost sees red and charges.”

King: “Better a bull than bullsh…”

Axis: “Frost rocks Deathwish with a clothesline!”

Williams tried to dodge, but it was too late when he noticed Frost heading toward him. Deathwish trips over the wagon wheel and lands right at the top of the entrance ramp. Williams sits up and Frost grabs him by the sides of his head to pull him up the rest of the way. Williams puts both of his hands together and slams them up hard into Frost’s chin to shake him off. Deathwish dives down the entrance ramp to put a hand on the bat from earlier.

Edwin: “Frost’s chin is taking more shots in this match than Bruce Campbell’s.”

Frost stumbles back slightly and the back of his heel brushes up against the wagon wheel. He bends down, picks it up and props it up at the top of the ramp. Williams retrieves the baseball bat from where it had rolled down the ramp and he lays spread on the ramp sideways. Frost lets the wheel go and it barrels down the ramp, metal clanking on metal. Deathwish goes to dive off the side of the ramp to the narrow pathway of floor to its side, but he doesn’t quiet make the lunge in time and the wheel rolls directly over his right ankle. Williams lets out a loud scream as he sinks to the floor and grabs his ankle. The crowd noise is a mix of shock and sympathy.

Axis: “THAT ANKLE COULD BE BROKEN! I’D BE SURPRISED IF IT WASN’T!”

The wagon wheel finishes its trek by slapping into the side of the ring and falling on its side. Frost drops down from the entrance platform to the walkway of floor below and struts confidently up to Williams with the ref in tow.

King: “Where in the hell did you find a wagon wheel here in Washington D.C.”

Edwin: “The Smithsonian Institute, of course, silly.”

King: (throwing his hands up) “Forget I asked, I don’t want to be considered an accessory to anything.”

Williams sits with his back to Frost, both hands rubbing his badly damaged ankle. Frost swoops in and reaches down to grab Deathwish under his arms. Danny takes the bat, which fell to his side, and jams it blindly over his shoulder to catch Frost in the ribs. The Icelander clutches his ribs and falls back.

Axis: “Although Frost did not come out with his ribs taped tonight, they still have to be in horrible shape from not only the Window Pain match last week, but the drubbing they took at the hands of TNT on Metal.”

King: “One of my top mottos as SWF champion: why advertise. You come out with your ribs taped and everyone knows to attack them.”

Edwin: “I thought your motto as SWF champion was ‘What? Me draw.’”

(King slaps Edwin in the head again.)

Edwin: “Voices, I’ve got voices back.”

Using the bat for a crutch, Williams hobbles down to ringside and rolls into the squared circle, with Frost not too far behind, still holding his side. Frost rolls into the ring under the bottom rope, but Deathwish has already made his feet and brings the bat down into Frost’s lower back. He winces. Hebner slides into the ring.

Axis: “Unlike most hardcore matches, this one started in the back and will end here in the ring.”

Williams backs up and tries to put pressure on his ankle, but it’s tough going. He is finally able to put a little weight on it as Frost has taken the breather to pull himself together too and climbs to his feet with help from the ropes. Williams drops the bat and slips behind Frost to cinch a waistlock. Deathwish lifts Frost up, but he is just too heavy and the ankle collapses. Williams falls into a half sitting half laying position with Frost on top and his ankle pinned awkwardly underneath. Frost pulls the ankle out from under and torques it with all of the might he can muster. Williams tries to slug Frost in the back of the head to break, but it is just too much pain and he is forced to tap out.

Axis: “Frost makes Williams tap to a simple ankle lock, but Deathwish was courageous to continue this bout on what might be a broken wheel, thanks to a wagon wheel. Next on Crimson, Tod deKindes speaks!”

Camera fades to break as Hebner finally gets Frost to let go of the ankle and he rolls out of the ring, very bruised and bloody himself.

May 12, 2002

***Back from commercial break, the crowd is full of nothing but quiet murmurs while the Fearsome Threesome at the announce table are shuffling their papers around, awaiting the next match…until Axis speaks up and remembers that there's a promo coming up. ***

Axis: All right folks, it is Saturday night in our nation's capital and it's been a helluva night so far!

King: Helluva night?? Let's see…My car wouldn't start…I was mobbed for autographs…My lousy beer is warm, oh yeah, and Cutthroat wrestled! You call that a helluva night?!

Axis: Nonetheless, last Wednesday night was a helluva night for Tod deKindes. Against all odds, he defeated "Deathwish" Danny Williams to become the brand new European champion.

King: It was a FLUKE! Tod deKindes was injured, Danny Williams was distracted, he had his tights pulled, he should STILL BE…the European champion.

Edwin: Interesting to note, now that Tod's the champion, a whole lot of competition is already lining up to dethrone him. We have Frost, the #1 contender; we have Danny Williams who I'm sure would like a rematch down the road, and we also have Tod's good friend Taylor Nicholas Thompson who I'm sure would like his own shot at the gold…

***While Axis speaks, a quick video recap is shown detailing Tod's title win. ***

Axis: For a number of weeks, Danny Williams and Tod deKindes have been at each other's throats, costing each other matches left and right. One week ago, Danny Williams just happened to win the European title and Tod deKindes was, you could say, in the right place at the right time. A title match was signed between these two, lo and behold, Tod won the match and the title…

***Brief snippet of Tod in a post-match interview, best summed up by one sentence…***

Tod: "One day at a time…"

…

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…the NEW SJL European Champion…Tod - deeeeeee - Kinnndeeeeeeesss!!!

***The headbanging sounds of Fear Factory's "Shock" fires up on the speakers, allowing the crowd to happily chant along the "Shoooock!" parts…The new European champion slowly walks out; clad in his usual black cargos, black tight t-shirt, belt strapped around his waist and the trenchcoat worn over it all. Looking at the audience through his silver framed sunglasses, he walks down the aisle. He stops at the bottom of the ramp, pausing to look on approvingly at the cheering crowd, and then proceeds up the steel ring steps. He crosses the ropes and paces slowly around the strobelight-filled ring, while still throwing random looks at the crowd. He unstraps the belt from his waist, climbs up to the second rope, holding the belt up and letting out a mighthy roar to the fans. He's noticeably using his left arm, since the other arm is still minorly injured from this past week's happenings. ***

King: If he's so great, then why isn't he defending the title against Frost tonight?!

Edwin: He was given the night off so he could recover from his injury, King! A little something called compassion!

King: Eh, he'd lose the belt anyway…

***While the song fades to a stop and the lighting treatment returns to normal, Tod takes a microphone offered to him and throws the title belt up on his shoulder. He looks at a crowd happy that he's conquered some gold so soon after his debut…and then he speaks. ***

Tod: …So, this is what it's like to win a belt…

***More cheers from the Washington DC crowd. ***

Tod: (pushes shades up to his forehead)…I know, I usually do my talking in the ring; or backstage before a match…but tonight, it's a special occasion I'm standing here, in front of Washington D.C., this country's capital, wearing this company's second most prestigious championship belt; I'm standing here as the NEW European champion!…(pauses for cheers)…This is to all the doubters that said I couldn't do it and that I would choke…Du Arschloch gehen und zur Hölle.

King: What's THAT mean?

Edwin: Um, well…I don't think we can say that on television.

Tod: Now…if I look at the list of contenders, I see one name at the top of the list, and that's you Frost…

***Crowd boos at the sound of the Icelandic monster's name. ***

Tod: Now Frost; make no mistake. You ARE one hell of a wrestler. We've crossed paths once or twice before and we've lit up the place each and every time. Sure, my blood is North American. But my life…who I became, who I AM…it all took place on the other side of the ocean, in Deutschland, which is why I'm proud to hold this belt, for me, but more importantly for everyone back there who believed…I just got one thing to say to them…Frieden ist mit Ihnen, Brüdern und Schwestern…But Frost…you may be the #1 contender for now; but you're gonna have to wait.

King: I knew it!! He's afraid to face him!!!

Axis: Would you let him finish!!

Tod: There's someone in this company who deserves a title shot much more than you, Frost. He's a man I've fought alongside with and HE's gonna get the first--…

***A resounding guitar riff accompanied by a "Oy! Oy! Oy!" chant suddenly interrupted Tod. As Bon Scott's manly voice echoes through the MCI Center, the TV Champion Taylor Nicholas Thompson makes his way out, carrying his title belt. With a proud smile across his face, he walks down to the ring, applauding along the way. After entering the ring, he does his ritual pose to all four corners, while Tod looks at him with a bit of perplexity. He strolls over to Tod, who nonetheless slaps some skin with him. The two exchange respectful glances, as Taylor speaks.***

TNT: Whoa… it sure is weird being in the ring and NOT soaked in blood at the same time, but I’m not down here to cut a good guy promo…

***The crowd starts a “T-N-T! T-N-T! T-N-T!” chant.***

TNT: …On second thought, I am. Be right back.

***Taylor trots over to the nearest corner, raises his arms with pride, and let’s out an echoing “KABOOM!” As he descends from the turnbuckle, he paces across the ring a few times, and finally returns to the center of the ring, where his German companion awaits.***

TNT: Couldn't resist… Anyway, tonight isn’t about me Tod, it’s about you, and above all, the Smarks Junior League European Title. You see Tod, let me give you a quick history lesson. As you know, I came here with a promising career ahead of me…

***During Taylor's speech, we are treated to some footage on the Smarktron, namely the last seconds of TNT’s first match against Mathew Kivell. Kivell charges Taylor with a spear, but Thompson catches him between his legs, hooks the arms, brings him up and back down with a Tiger Driver ’92 for the 1-2-3.***

TNT: With one devastating taste of Dynamite, Kivell lost the match and was out of action for nearly two weeks. TWO WEEKS, Tod! That’s about as long as a guy would be out if he was hit in the back of the head with a hammer by three has-beens, and then the ambulance he was inside was run down by an old guy in a large truck…(several audience members are seen scratching their heads)…Yeah. With that move, I entered a whole new realm, the realm of the Junior Leagues. But an even bigger challenge awaited me, do you know what that challenge was, Tod? That challenge was YOU. It was a well-fought battle, but in the end, who came out on top? ME.

***This time the Smarktron shows various clips of both Tod deKindes’ and Taylor Nicholas Thompson’s first match. The clips show Tod hitting a 450 corkscrew on Taylor, Thompson reversing the Spirit Breaker into an earth-shattering inverted DDT, Thompson winning the match after his patented Tiger Driver, and of course, the two mutually shaking hands after the brawl has come to a conclusion. Meanwhile, Tod looks at it, uttering 'Good times' off mic…***

TNT: Yes indeed, good times. We were both a little new, sure. We were both relatively new to the business, sure. But one thing, one thing remains the surest sure out of all the sure sure’s in Sureville… We both EXPLODED that night!…(pauses for the acknowledging cheers of the crowd)… Now Tod, let us fast forward a bit, we had our rematch shortly after. And who won? What one man came out on top? Well, hehe, let’s see if the Smarktron knows.

***Taylor points towards the Smarktron, where the mutual adversaries' second match is shown. In this match, Danny Williams rushes down to ring side with a steel chair in hand, and costs Tod the match. Reaction from Tod shows him cringing at the chairshot.***

TNT: Yeah, that was a stiff chairshot, man. My ex-mentor Danny Williams used several unorthodox tactics to assist me in my winning ways. But that’s not to say that I wanted him to. From here, we both split apart, pursuing different aspects of the SJL…

***The Smarktron displays Tod defeating the Reaper via count out, and Taylor gaining some SJL gold by defeating T-Bone with a modified sunset-flip.***

TNT: But once again, our paths intervened, or shall I say, my MENTOR and you crossed paths.

***A clip of “Deathwish” Danny Williams vs. Tod deKindes is shown, as Taylor turns on his evil master and helps Tod pick up a win. Reaction from the champ shows him nodding approvingly.***

TNT: Right again, my friend. Hey, that rhymes. You know, I’ve always prided myself in being an excellent poet, I…

***Tod throws a look at him. ***

TNT: Right… Well, from then on, we were tight, Tod. Real tight. We were the Millie Vanillie of the SJL. Actually, no, let’s not compare ourselves to Millie Vanillie. Um, ok, we were the Sigfried and Roy of the SJL, wait, that’s too fruity. Ok, we were the Jay and Silent Bob of the SJL.

***The Smarktron shows the two relentlessly giving each other tips as they stand at the entrance of Vanguard’s lair. Another clip shows Tod pumping Taylor up for a match…***

“Tod: Who's the explosive one?!!

TNT: ME!!!

Tod: And who's the angry german guy?!!

TNT: YOU ARE!!!

Tod: We gonna win tonight?!!

TNT: DAMN RIGHT!!!

Tod: We're facing two guys from XF9, they're pretty good!!

TNT: DOESN'T MATTER!!!

Tod: Danny Williams tries to interfere again, what do we do?!!

TNT: KICK HIS ASS!!!

Tod: Who's gonna beat us?!!

TNT: NOBODY!!

Tod: Who's gonna beat us?!!

TNT: NOBODY!!!!

Tod: Are we gonna win?!!

TNT: YEAH!!!

Tod: Are we gonna WIN?!!!

TNT: YEAH!!!!

Tod: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!

TNT: YEAAAAAH!!!”

***Yet another clip shows the two putting some boots to the current SWF champ, Ash Ketchum.***

TNT: As I said, real tight. Until now. Now, there is something that threatens our relationship. I’ve got 56 iceboxes full of respect for ya buddy. We’re a team, we own 2/3 of the SJL gold available. We OWN the SJL. But I look at you now, too injured to even fight. I come out here, say I’m proud, congratulate you on the big win. I come out here, and besiege you with praise. But we’re buddies, and as a buddy, I have to tell you, I’m a little jealous. I mean, I should be the one with the gold, I should be the one representing the great country of Europe…

King: It’s a continent!!

TNT: …We’re buddies alright, we’re buddies. But, as a buddy, I feel as if it's my duty to come out here and officially tell you…That since you're the European champion, I am officially requesting a shot at …--

***Before the TV champion can finish his sentence, the chilling sounds of "Calculating Infinity" interrupts him. 'Deathwish' Danny Williams comes out to a cavalcade of boos. With his own mic in hand, he stays on the ramp, eyeing both competitors in the ring. He signals for his music to be cut, and then speaks…***

DW: Would you look at that…If I could interrupt this little mutual admiration society here for just a bit, I'd like to talk about something a little more important…me!!

Edwin: Oh, wonderful…

DW: I was in the back, minding my own business; till I heard…(uses a disgusted tone of voice) the new European champion…saying his first defense would be against that piece of GARBAGE standing next to him?! I don't think so!! If there's ANYONE who deserves the first shot, it should be ME!! You ROBBED me of *MY* European title, you nazi son of a bitch!! It was a FLUKE, you didn't deserve it!!

Axis: Tough luck, Deathwish. You're no longer champ!

DW: …(after a few seconds of calming down) However, what I'm gonna do…is exercise a clause in my contract, stating that *I* get the rematch for the European title. Screw Frost, screw YOU Taylor! Tod, next Wednesday, I want YOUR ass in the ring with MY European title on the line!! I know your shoulder is still a little sore from the beating I gave you. So I'm gonna finish the job I started last week, and tear your whole damn ARM out of its socket! You and me, at Metal! I'm gonna destroy you and TAKE BACK…my European title…

***Tod and TNT confer for a few seconds in the ring, until Tod raises his mic to his lips, ready to speak. ***

Tod: After careful considerations, and after discussing it with my good friend Taylor…Taylor…I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to wait. Next Wednesday, I'm gonna get through this worthless bastard over there so I can finally shut him up for good! So, Danny, you got your match!! And when I win, you can FORGET about having another Euro title shot! When I'm through with you, I'm gonna defend my title against him (pointing to TNT), I'm gonna defend it against Frost, against guys like Z and Ced Ordonez; I'm gonna defend this belt against anybody who deserves it! Hell, even Cutthroat could receive a shot down the road! But come Wednesday, Danny…this is your last shot at this (holding up title belt). We're on for Metal, and you better be ready…Cuz I know I'll be…

***After hearing what he needed to hear, Danny slowly nods with a smirk on his face, all while throwing more off-mic insults towards the two men in the ring. After Williams slowly backs away through the curtains, Tod and TNT exchange some more mutually respectful words before heading out. ***

TNT: Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for YOUR NEW EUROPEAN CHAMPION!!

***As the masses cheer for the young german, the modest Tod simply looks around with a smirk and pushes his shades back down to eye level. As Fear Factory's "Shock" fires up, both men take their leave, with their respective title belts in tow. ***

Axis: It's official, Tod deKindes and Danny Williams go at it one last time for the European title this Wednesday!

King: Biggest mistake of his life!!

Edwin: Lots of pride on the line as well for both these two men, it should be an explosive encounter if I may say so!

King: By accepting that rematch, Tod deKindes does not know what he's gotten himself into. Williams is much more experienced than him, and he'll have no problem whatsoever taking him apart. Also, keep in mind the injured shoulder of Tod deKindes…

Axis: It's gonna be a barn burner, we'll be right back!

***Fade to commercials. ***

May 12, 2002

Another Sydney Sky commercial about feminine hygiene products abruptly ends and there is a moment of darkness, and suddenly, the familiar music of the SJL’s premier wrestling entertainment show, CRIMSON, starts up again. All silvery, the logo spins and in the background the camera pans around the sold out MCI Center in Washington DC! The logo disappears and the camera continues to move around in a dizzying effect. It stops on various people holding signs like, “IGN sucks!” and “LDP, Marry me!” It doesn’t take too long before you hear the voice of Axis start up as the camera makes is way back to focusing on the announcers table yet again.

“Welcome back to Crimson! We hope you enjoyed the commercial break!” Axis says, with a perky tone, “.. again, I am joined by the Commissioner of the SJL, Edwin MacPhisto and everyone’s least favorite announcer .. Suicide King!”

Edwin bursts out in a fit of laughter and Suicide King blinks, looking over at Axis, “LEAST FAVORITE?? What the HELL are you talking about??”

Axis continues, ignoring them, “We just witnessed a great match between “Deathwish” Danny Williams and Frost and it was really exciting!”

“I agree wholeheartedly!” Edwin interjects, “.. but you have to say, you’ve got to be looking forward to this match coming up..considering Sydney Sky is in it.”

“I love ANYTHING with Sydney in it, “Suicide King points out, “.. especially if she is wearing mostly nothing.”

Axis rolls his eyes, continuing his ignoring streak, “.. and then we heard from the current European Champion, Todd DeKindes .. which I must say was really informative.”

Edwin snickers, “I hate when champions ramble on for hours on end. 20 minutes of blah, blah, yada, yada … sheesh!”

“During that whole schpeel..I thought I was gonna kill myself…” Suicide King states, getting odd looks from both Axis and Edwin, plus a few of the production staff. He snarls at them and they recoil, going back to what they were originally doing.

“Um.. so.. coming up in just a few seconds, Sydney Sky, after getting her ass kicked by Xero .. will be facing someone she has never faced before, ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson!”

Edwin smirks, “He’s the current TV title holder, and while Sydney is usually at European level, we assume she is a bit rusty after being away for a while. I’d say that TNT has his work cut out for him. Despite her rusty state, she is still a tough competitor and isn’t to be underestimated!”

Axis nods and Suicide King grins, “Plus she looks hot in her cute little wrestling outfit!”

As if on cue, the crowd erupts in a loud cheer as ACDC’s “TNT” blares from the speakers of the arena! TNT slowly saunters out from backstage and starts down the ramp, looking very nonchalant.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Now coming to the ring, he is the SJL TV Champion! Standing at 6’6” and weighing 267 lbs .. he hails from Anaheim, California … ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson!!!”

The crowd cheers again, as Suicide King smirks, “Try saying that name 10 times fast!”

TNT walks down with a considerable lack of pyrotechnics, but suddenly, with the song’s line, “Watch me explooooooooddddeee!!!!!” a huge barrage of silver and white pyro start up and it seems to even make TNT a bit more lively as he dances to the beat of the music. He slides into the ring quickly, making his rounds to each corner of the ring, to the cheers of the crowd. He then starts pacing back and forth, awaiting Sydney Sky to make her appearance.

“TNT looks in tip top shape tonight, and not at all nervous about going against Sydney .. who in fact is a former European Title holder! She won it from Stryke in a superb ladder match! I remember it like it was yesterday.”

Edwin smirks, “Yes, that was before I was Commissioner ..but I recall hearing about you nearly getting trampled during that, Axis.”

"Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve begins to play and Sydney Sky appears on the stage with a serene smile on her face. It stays there for a moment while the crowd cheers. It disappears for a more determined look, as she narrows her eyes towards the ring.

“Now coming to the ring! Standing at 5’11” tall and weighing 170 lbs, she hails from Los Angeles, California! Sydney Sky!”

The crowd cheers wildly as she makes her way down to the ring. Along the sides of the stage, sparkling pyros of purple, blue and white go off. She heads down to the ring with a swagger, high-fives to various audience members along the way. She slides into the ring, winks at the announcers and prepares for the match.

“Sydney is also looking quite determined tonight .. she probably feels a bit put off by this match, as it IS with the TV champion. While it’s a belt she has never held .. she immediately was pushed to European level ..surpassing TV level completely.”

Sydney gives TNT a look, as if she is looking him up and down, trying to size up her competition. TNT looks back at her, also seeming to be doing the same thing. Funyon hops out of the ring after his announcing and the referee enters it, just as the bell sounds to start the match.

DING! DING! DING!

Sydney wastes no time, as she lunges at TNT, immediately grabbing onto him, wrapping her left arm around his neck and punching at his face with her right! TNT looks stunned, taking each blow, but managing to break away from her grasp and grab her arm, Irish whipping her into the ring ropes! Sydney runs into the ropes and bounces off of them, bring brought down to the mat with a hard clothesline by TNT!

“Ooooh!” Axis exclaims, “ Sydney is already down, due to some quick moves by TNT! The clothesline looks like it hurt!”

Suicide King pipes up, “Ever ran into a clothesline before? It’s a bitch! Especially if there are clothes on it.”

Both Axis and Edwin groan.

Sydney blinks her eyes, now on her back suddenly on the mat floor! She rubs at her neck and looks up at TNT, who is starting to lean over to grab onto her! Sydney kicks her leg up, connecting with his gut and pushing him back enough to get herself to her feet before he can grab onto her again! TNT comes at her, lumbering over to her, where she jumps up and meets him with a dropkick! He groans and stumbles back!

“Phew! That Sydney Sky is pretty quick with her moves!”

“I bet she is quick at other things too….”

“Ugh..”

He grabs onto her, pulling her up against him, in a hug! The crowd pauses, wondering what the hell is going on? Then suddenly, he lifts her up and brings her down onto the mat hard in a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! The crowd ooohs as both wrestlers hit the mat at the same time, though Sydney getting the brunt force of the move! Sydney groans, rolling around on the mat, attempting to gain her bearings, as TNT gets himself to his feet with little problem. He walks over to Sydney, who is slowly starting to get up from her knees and grabs her hair, ‘helping’ her up part of the way! Sydney yelps, trying to pull away from his grasp without causing the loss of her hair!

TNT moves his grasp from her hair to her arm, whipping her into the turnbuckle, where she turns around and hits it with her back! She groans, and leans against the turnbuckle. TNT runs quickly into her, hitting her in the stomach with a spear! The crowd yells, “GORE! GORE!” as Sydney crumples to the floor, the wind knocked out of her and of course, feeling the pain of the move.

TNT moves over to Sydney, pulling her from the turnbuckle and connecting a few punches on her. Sydney stumbles back, but comes back with a few of her own! She moves back enough, and then comes at him, jumping up into the air! Her feet wrap around his neck and head and she flips him over to the mat in a hurricanrana! Both of them end up on the mat, TNT looking a bit shocked and pained!

“HURRICANE by Miss Sky! She truly is a stormy girl!”

Edwin scoffs, “Stormy girl.. she is the riot grrl, you idiot!”

“Does it really matter?”

“I prefer calling her the future Mrs. Suicide King.”

“Oh gawd…”

“What? I think it has a nice ring to it. It’s definitely better than Mrs. Axis.. or Mrs Commissioner!”

TNT still lies on the mat, and Sydney scurries over to him, draping her body over him for a cover! The referee runs over, sliding to his knees to start a count!

ONE!

TWO!

TNT kicked out easily, not ready to succumb to Sydney Sky quite yet. Sydney grumbles and jumps to her feet, grabbing his feet before he can try to get up! She starts to twist his legs around her body, and then turns around, stretching him in horrible ways! TNT yells out, feeling his muscles twist in unnatural contours!

“SHARPSHOOTER! Sydney Sky has TNT in a sharpshooter! Ouch! I think everyone in this arena can feel his pain at the moment! Look at his agony! Look at that face!” Axis yells out. Suicide King glances at Axis.

“If I didn’t know better.. I’d think Axis was a bit of a masochist.. enjoying that pain, Axis? Hmm?”

“Shut up.”

Edwin laughs.

Sydney continues to hold onto the TNT in the sharpshooter! She doesn’t look like she is enjoying doing this to a fellow face, but she is determined to win this match! It seems like a very long time that she holds poor TNT in that move, when she finally tires out, dropping him like a bad habit and pulling away, rubbing at her own muscles from the strain! TNT crumbles to the floor, groaning in pain, and a bit of relief of being out of that submission!

Sydney paces around the mat, eyeing TNT as he slowly makes his way to his feet. Sydney starts to walk towards him, and he suddenly moves towards her as well, startling her and bringing her down in a double arm DDT! Once she is on the ground, he does some punches and some slaps, with her legs kicking wildly! He then hooks her leg and the referee runs over, to start another count!

ONE!

TWO!

Sydney kicks out, nearly kicking TNT right off of her! Sydney rolls to her stomach and then up to her knees, then feet and moves after TNT, grabbing onto him and whipping him into the ropes! He runs towards the ropes, hitting them face on and leaning over them as he loses his air! Sydney comes up behind him, hitting him on the ass with a kick and he flies right over the ropes! He drops down, hitting the mat apron on the way down and lands on the floor outside the ring!

“Sydney toppled TNT right out of the ring! He’s literally just lying on the floor out here.. almost in front of us! I hope we don’t become innocent victims in this match!” Axis exclaims, cowering away slightly. Edwin laughs.

“This is all so exciting! Woooo!”

“Sydney looks hotter up close.. I bet it’s even better REALLY up close!”

Sydney jumps over the ropes, flying over it and flipping over … in an Asai Moonsault! TNT tries to move out of the way, but doesn’t get far enough, Sydney coming down on part of his body! Both of them agonize over the botched move! TNT squirms away and Sydney arches her back in pain!

“ASAI MOONSAULT by Sydney Sky! It sort of worked..TNT tried to move out of the way, but not enough, so Sydney kinda landed on him.. but didn’t all the way..”

“Jeez Axis.. go back to English class! That made absolutely no sense!”

“Ahem.. shut up.”

“Someone say something? Sorry, I was staring at Sydney’s breasts.” Suicide King states, glancing over at Axis and Edwin, looking genuinely lost. Axis sighs and Edwin snickers slightly.

The referee, seeing that both of them are outside of the ring, starts to count them out, though obviously keeping his distance.. knowing that the chances of him getting knocked out sometime during a match is likely.

ONE!

Sydney grabs onto the ring apron, slowy bringing herself to her feet. TNT gets to his feet as well, eyeing Sydney at the ring apron. He moves over to her, grabbing her from behind!

TWO!

His arms wrap her slim waist and Sydney blinks, trying to break away! He holds onto her and then suddenly flips her over backwards! A german suplex!

THREE!

“German suplex! On the hard floor outside of the ring!! Ouch!”

FOUR!

TNT nearly holds Sydney there after flipping her over, but realizes they are out of the ring, and lets her go, and she lies on the floor, moaning from that move! TNT leans down and pulls her up, slinging her over his shoulder and placing her on the ring apron, rolling her in! He follows underneath the ropes and the count out stops!

Sydney rolls to around the center of the ring, and tries to get stable again as TNT approaches her! He moves to the ropes and up onto the second rope, and then falls off, falling into Sydney with a 2nd rope elbow drop! But he misses as Sydney rolls out of the way at the last minute!

“OUCH!”

He elbow hits the mat with a sickening CRRRRACK as he misses his target! He yells out, grabbing onto his elbow and falls to the mat completely!

“His elbow nearly broke I think! Did you hear that crack!?”

“I just thought you let one rip….”

“Ew!”

Sydney rolls to her feet, and moves to TNT, who is still in agony from his poor wittle elbow! She leans over, and grabs him by the hair, pulling him to his feet! She positions him just so, his chin resting on her shoulder and then twists around, dropping to the mat and bringing him with her in a twist of fate!

“SKY SWIRL! Sydney hits TNT with a Sky Swirl!”

“Why do I get the impression that he has probably forgotten ALL about his elbow by now?”

Suicide King laughs, “Good one, Edwin! What a surprise!”

Sydney rolls herself onto him, hooking his leg up, and hoping to get a pin on him now that he is a bit disoriented! The referee shows up, as always, and begins a count!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-NO! TNT gets his shoulder up off the mat! Sydney, frustrated, pushes him back down and tries again!

ONE!

TWO!

He gets the shoulder up again! He is determined not to let this girl beat him! Sydney pushes him back down again, this time harder, and tries to pin him again!

ONE!

Sydney is suddenly flung off of TNT, he kicks out and pushes her off of him with some definite strength! Sydney flies a bit, landing on the mat hard, and groans!

“Whoa! I guess TNT was pissed off that Sydney tried to pin him three times!”

“She was determined, that’s for sure!”

TNT gets up and goes over to Sydney, who is on her feet by now, and grabs her, slamming her down on the mat with a sideslam! Her body makes a huge thud when it hits the mat! The crowd ooooohs and TNT leans over, making sure she is out for the count and then moves over to the turnbuckle, slowly starting to climb up it! The crowd starts to cheer, knowing a big move must be coming since he is getting up on the turnbuckle! He stands on the top, lifts his arms to the sides and falls off of it, slamming down onto Sydney, in a flying headbutt! It hits Sydney and she flails, clutching herself in pain! TNT, although dizzy from the move, grabs onto her and tries to pin her!

ONE!

TWO!

Sydney kicks out! She manages to get away from TNT as he releases her and paces around to gain some momentum! He comes at her and she hits him with a spinning wheel kick! He stumbles backwards, and Sydney approaches him, spinning around again and hitting him with a kick! This goes back and forth, back and forth until TNT has ran into the ropes! Sydney scampers between the ropes and onto the other side, turning upside down and clutching him through the ropes! A spider stretch! TNT is stuck to the ropes, in a spider stretch!

“Orbital Stretch! He is caught in the ropes, tangled in them! The referee is yelling a count, as this is a move that usually isn’t allowed!”

Sydney stretches him as much as possible, the look of strain and pain on her face! TNT yells out!

ONE!

TNT struggles again, and that just causes Sydney to tighten the stretch even more!

TWO!

“What a horrible stretch! That Sydney will just not let up! Look at the pained expression on TNT’s face! The horror!”

THREE!

“You are way too dramatic, Axis… gawd.”

FOUR!

Sydney releases the move at the count of four, to make sure she doesn’t get counted out and lose the match as a DQ! Sydney slides back into the ring, as TNT falls to the ground, horribly exhausted from trying to fight his way out of that move! Sydney plays with the crowd a bit, doing a little sexy move in the middle of the ring, as TNT gets to his feet, looking like he has been to hell and back… or at least the Sky and back!

TNT moves toward Sydney and breaks into a run, bringing her down with a running bulldog!

“WOW! TNT just came back from all that with a surge of energy! These are amazing competitors!”

Sydney gets herself up from the ground and the two of them hash it out more physically, with punches and slaps! Sydney hits him across the chest, causing a “WOOOO!” to come from the audience! And again! And again! She goes for another and TNT grabs her hand mid-slap! Sydney blinks and looks up at him! He grabs her, and with a full swoop, he slams her down to the mat in a half full nelson suplex!

“BOOM! Sydney Sky was just SLAMMED down on that mat! I wonder how much more of a beating this woman can take! She really is an amazon to keep up with the brute force of all these guys!”

Sydney groans, as TNT drops to the mat and tries for another pin! He hooks her leg up and presses his weight down onto her! The referee, managing to have not gotten hurt (yet) moves over and starts a count!

ONE!

“This might be it…”

TWO!

THRE- Sydney manages to get her shoulder off the mat, and the referee catches it! He stops the count, much to the dismay of TNT! TNT hops to his feet, seeming to argue with the referee for a moment, not believing that Sydney really got her shoulder off the mat! During their spat, Sydney gets to her feet and comes up behind TNT, flipping her red hair behind her and smirking, resting her hands on her hips.

“Sydney has the advantage right now! She could just hit him from behind and take the win! What is she waiting for?”

Sydney taps TNT’s shoulder and he whirls around! Sydney’s knee comes up quickly, connecting to his groin area and his ‘delicate’ parts, and he doubles over from the low blow! The crowd ooohs and most of the men boo!

“Ooooh.. low blow there! This girl knows where to hit a guy where it hurts!”

Sydney takes advantage of TNT’s doubled over state and pushes his head down! She positions his head right between her legs! Suicide King perks.

“Lucky man! Lucky man! You ROCK MAN!”

Axis glances at Suicide King, “.. don’t you even see where this is going? Sydney is going for her finisher!”

“Who cares? His legs are between her legs… where no man as gone before.. only Annie Eclectic.”

“Oh …gawd…”

Sydney makes sure his head is secured there, as she squeezes it with her legs and she grabs both his arms, hooking them behind his back with her own arms! She looks up, and the crowd cheers .. knowing exactly what is about to happen! She jumps up in the air, with TNT’s head still there and slams down onto the mat! TNT’s poor face slams down too and the crowd yells out:

“GOOOOOOD MORNING!”

“Daybreak! Sydney has hit the Daybreak! It’s over! It’s over!”

There is an eruption of cheers as Sydney rolls over the motionless body of her opponent and hooks his legs! The referee rushes over and does a count!

ONE!

The crowd continues cheering.

TWO!

Sydney holds him down in the pin hard, determined to not let him kick outta that one!

THREE!!

“SYDNEY HAS WON IT!”

DING! DING! DING!

“Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve starts up again, as Sydney, heaving a sigh of relief and exhaustion, drops TNT’s leg and gets to her feet, greeting Funyon as he enters the ring to announce her as the winner!

“Your winner! SYYYYYYYYDNEY SKYYYYYYYYYY!”

The crowd pops and Sydney waves to the crowd, obviously tired out! Axis’ voice comes on over the scene, “Sydney Sky has defeated the TV Champion, showing once again she is the femme fatale and a force to be reckoned with! Her start back in the JL this time has been rough … but she is definitely getting back into the swing of things!”

Edwin nods, “The Sydney we all know and love and sometimes fear is starting to show herself again! Superb!”

“She’s hot.” Suicide King says, with wisdom.

Sydney slides out of the ring, leaving TNT there in the middle of the ring, being attended to by officials. He’s been disoriented but is probably fine. Sydney moves her way up the ramp as her music continues playing. She stops along the way, high-fiving people and then she disappears backstage.

“What a match between TNT and Sydney Sky! Let’s hope these two meet up again in the future! TNT has a great future and is a great talent! He really gave Sydney a run for her money there!”

“Definitely…” Edwin muses, “.. I’m definitely going to keep my eye on TNT .. I see him as a great force in this league.”

“Sydney is hot. TNT is not.”

“Riiight. Anyone, coming up next .. after this commercial break .. we have an Elimination Triple Threat match between Poisyn, Ced Ordonez and Flexxx! It’s sure to be a doozy! And after that, we will hear from the new SJL World Champiom, ASH KETCHUM!”

“Woo.”

“Be back right after these commercial messages!”

The screen fades to black.

May 12, 2002

We are taken inside the arena. Then, the camera switches over to the evil trio of many viewers’ nightmares to come… yes, it’s…

"REN-E-GADE! REN-E-GADE! REN-E-GADE! REN-E-GADE!"

King : "Ack... Renegade chants!? Those crowd whores have no taste at all."

Axis : “Welcome back, folks, to this MISERABLE~! edition of SJL Crimson. We are live from the MCI Center, in Washington DC! Ash Ketchum won the Heavyweight title on Metal, but Flesher is FOAMING at the mouth and won’t stop at any cost to regain the belt!”

Edwin : “Holy shit! Someone’s got rabies?”

King : “No, you idiot! He meant Flesher is angry, not actually foaming at the mouth…”

Edwin : “Oh, oh! Figures of speech! Is ‘Suicide King likes to swallow’ a figure of speech?”

Axis : “Hey, I got a new one for you… ‘Axis is sick of babysitting you two assclowns.’”

*sob* *sob*……… “WAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAH!!!!!” Edwin and King break out in tears and hold each other for emotional support.

Axis : “Remember, kids… this is Axis’s show! Anyway, now you’ll all get to see the very matches that will hold you at the edge of your seat. TWO three-way clusterfucks that have no heat whatsoever! You might as well go to the bathroom and take your evening dump, folks!”

King : “HEY! I booked that ‘clusterfuck’, you insolent aussie!”

Axis : “No wonder it sucks! And even worse… it’s Poisyn, Flexxx and Ced. Oh well. I’m sure that at least Poisyn will be estatic, as the former Matt Myers hates Flexxx for backstabbing him in the last months of the IGN era.”

Edwin : “How scandalous! FUNYON! Bring out the microphooooone!”

………

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!

Funyon : “ARE YOU READY TO RRRRUMBLE!!??!?!!?”

Crowd : “NO!”

Funyon : “Well you stupid hicks can suck Funyon’s big spicy… er, I mean that, uh, the scheduled match for tonight is a three-man elimination round, scheduled for ONE fall!!! Let’s bring out the competitors…”

The arena's lights go off, and purple pyro shoots up from the stage, as the first few gituar lines of Hoobastank’s “Crawling In The Dark” hits. Posiyn emerges from some mysterious smoke that flows out of the stage entrance, and the whole crowd is taken hostage by the mass hysteria. When Posiyn walks out on stage, a green strobelight hits. A chorus of boos sounds off as the former Matt Myers run down the ramp…

“The first competitor, weighing in at 229 pounds and 6’ 3”, he is from New Haven, Conneticut…………… POOOOIIISYN!!!”

Axis : “Matt Myers looks determined… very, very much so.”

Poisyn grabs the ropes and pulls himself to the apron, then climbs into the ring and mounts on top of the turnbuckle. Poisyn raises his arms up in the air and garnishes even more jeers, but he still stands proud and tall, nevertheless.

"Born as Ghosts" by Rage Against the Machine plays and a video of Flexxx's Golden Gun flashes on the SmarkTron screen. Flexxx walks onto the ramp and does the Diamond Cutter taunt... then breaks his hands apart, signaling a huge yellow stream of pyro to fly into the ramp and explode three times!

***BOOM!

***BOOM!!

***BOOM!!!

From within the yellow smoke created by the explosions, Flexxx twirls around his kendo stick and calmly walks down the ring…

“The second competitor, weighing in at 239 pounds and 6’ 3”, he is from Rochester, New York…………. THA FLUNK-MASTA FLEEEEEEEEEEXXX!!!!!!!”

When Flexxx reaches the ringside, Poisyn points at him from behind the ropes and verbally assaults him. The cool, calm, collected porn star gives Poisyn an off-key gesture to piss his opponent off even further, and then Flexxx enters the ring… with many, many angry eyes closing in on him…

Axis : “There is a whole lot of unseen hatred between Flexxx and Matt Myers… Myers is still bitter that Flexxx ousted him from Destruction.”

…………

"Esaka?" blares through the speakers and the whole arena explodes with your stereotypical Spanish/Asian wrestler chants! The crowd begins to clap in rhythm, as song plays for a while before Ced emerges and the crowd cheers his arrival. The Lightning Grappler jogs down the ramp, slapping the outstretched hands of fans along his way.

“The THIRD competitor, weighing in at 191 pounds and 5’ 9”, he is from San Jose, California………….. CED! ORDOOOOOOONEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!”

Ced Ordonez quickly and swiftly steps onto the apron and climbs into the ring, as Flexxx and Poiysn watch while giving each other discriminating looks. Ced mounts himself on top of a corner turnbuckle and raises his arms up into the air proudly, with each and every fan screaming at the top of their little teenie-bopper lungs! As cameras’ lights bounce off the sweat of Ced Ordonez’s skin, Poisyn and the raging porno man just CAN’T stop staring at each other… as anger boils inside of them for revenge.

…But then they look back to Ced. Each man grabs hold of Ced Ordonez’s leg, making the XF9er wave his arms around with panic. Flexxx and Poisyn drag Ced Ordonez off of the top rope and drive his body into the mat, face-first, with a double Electric Chair Drop! THUD!

Axis : “A double-team move from Flexxx and Poisyn! This elimination match starts off with a fiery bang!”

Referee Sexton Hardcastle calls for the bell…

“DING! DING! DING!”

Flexxx and Poisyn flip poor Mr. Ordonez over and stomp a living mudhole into his sides. Keeping Ced down quite well, the two men shove Ced into the turnbuckle and cram both of their boots into Ced’s windpipe with aggression. The crowd boos at the hateful suffocation, but it’s only until 20 seconds later that they stop. Flexxx and Poisyn grab Ced by the head and pull him up to a standing position. They then double-whip Ced into the ropes and wait for the XF9er to recoil back towards them… resulting in Ced being lifted in the air by both of his legs for a massive flapjack slam!

Axis : “Whoo. Devastation by Poisyn and Flexxx.”

The heel duo lifts Ced back up again, for yet another wholesome beating. Poisyn and Flexxx each grab hold onto one of Ced’s arms, then they forcefully bend him down and start placing fairly sharp kicks into his midsection. Both Poisyn and Flexxx ram their boots into Ced’s bowels with a middle roundhouse kick, making the fighter utter one crude obscenity in pain. Then, both men grabbed Ced’s head and bended him down for a two-man Brainbuster.

…Ced Ordonez thrusts both of his opponents down with a double DDT! Ced runs to the turnbuckle, climbs up and mounts on top of it, then looks down on his opponents. Ced then leaps high into the air and comes crashing down with a crushing flying elbow into the Flunkmasta’s ribcage!

Axis : “OW! Ced Ordonez cleverly reverses his situation. And now he’s got FLEXXX in a pin!”

Ced hooks the leg…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THREE!!!”

“DING! DING! DING!”

Edwin : “WHAAAAAAAA???”

Axis : “Flexxx just got an early elimination by Ced Ordonez! Oh my GAWD!”

King : “But, but, b-b-but… that’s ridiculous! He’s the Raging Porno Man! This is an unquestionable outrage! I demand to know who in SJL management told him to do this!”

Flexxx gets up, almost immediately, and looks into Ced’s eyes with a seething rage burning up inside of him. Unfortunately for the porn star… this gives Ced the opportunity to knock Flexxx in the jaw with a stiff uppercut! Flexxx gets knocked down, but he rolls himself out of the ring and walks away. Ced Ordonez walks over to Poisyn and drags his body back onto his two feet, and then he pursues to grab Poisyn’s back and wrap his leg around his opponent’s leg, to set Poisyn up into an STO, The Final Surge cutter! But the broody Matt Myers uses all of his strength to reverse the hold and plant Ced into the mat with a wicked Edgecution!

Axis : “Nice maneuver by Poisyn, laying Ced out on the mat again.”

…Flexxx paces around the ring with a horrible attitude, shoving away every ringside official in his path! Burning with rage, the pr0n masta grabs his kendo stick and beats it onto the ring’s steel steps! Several people grab Flexxx’s arms and try to calm him down from his shocking elimination, but he shoves them all away and continues to pace a storm from the outside…

King : “MAN, has he ever looked more pissed off before? Jeebus!”

Edwin : “Argh… I might need our security if that idiot thinks about doing anything brash…”

Meanwhile, a nervous Poisyn stops watching Flexxx and goes for the pinfall on Ced…

“ONE!”

“TWO-kickout!”

Ced gets the shoulder up! Poisyn tugs at his hair from frustration, but then starts stomping down Ced Ordonez. With each sharp boot kick to the side of Ced’s ribs, the lightning fighter cringes in anguish. Poisyn runs to the ropes and comes dashing back to leap down on Ced’s midsection with a crushing elbow! Poisyn immediately gets back up and runs the ropes again, coming back to leap down on Ced with yet another crushing elbow. Poisyn then changes his mode of assault by stepping on top of Ced’s arm and pressing down on his nerves… causing Ced to groan… and then Poisyn grabs Ced’s arm with his hands and sits down to lock into the Fujiwara Armbar. Ced Ordonez seethes in pain and waves around his free arm, and referee Hardcastle watches Ced intently for any mat-tapping. But as Ced scurries around desperately to try and find a method of escape… Ced grabs the bottom rope!

Axis : “Ced escapes the Fujiwara Armbar!”

King : “So what? Poisyn’s still dominating over him, you fool!”

Poisyn, in spite of all, runs to the ropes and quickly climbs up them with his feet, then leaps off in a 180 degree turn and comes crashing down, driving his knees into Ced’s chest cavity with a Springboard Lionsault. Poisyn hooks Ced’s leg for the pin…

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THR-kickout!”

Ced gets the shoulder up… again! As Poisyn gets even more impatient with Ced and his refusal to lay down for the pin, he stomps his boots into Ced’s side again, in a vain attempt to stifle his opponent’s vitality. Poisyn then lifts Ced back up and backs up his arm for one really stiff knife-edge chop to the lungs…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!”

Ced doesn’t second helpings of pain, but ah hell he gets them anyways…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!”

Wobbling around, Ced has a dazed look on his face. Myers goes for one last chop…

*SMACK* - “OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!”

Poisyn then runs to the ropes and dashes back, getting reved up for a scissors kick… but Ced grabs Poisyn’s leg and stalls him from kicking him. With one leg still free for use, Poisyn hops upwards for an Enziguri, but Ced ducks underneath the leg and grabs hold of it, holding BOTH of Poisyn’s legs hostage! Ced then shoves Poisyn onto the ground and wraps his own legs around Poisyn’s, then twists them around and locks into a Reverse Figure Four……….. the Cross Lightning.

Axis : “ORDONEZ LOCKS IN THE CROSS LIGHTNING ON POISYN! ORDONEZ HAS THIS MATCHUP!”

Poisyn cries out in agony as a seething pain shoots through his two legs, for Ced is trying to break them off! The former Matt Myers grabs the bottom rope… but Ced keeps the Cross Lightning locked in. Wondering what the hell’s going on, Poisyn panics and shouts for the referee’s help, as Ced Ordonez keeps the Cross Lightning locked in to get his fair share of revenge on the Permanent One.

Eventually, however, referee Hardcastle kicks Ced off of Poisyn and makes the lightning fighter stand back up. Not bothering to argue with the referee, Ced Ordonez starts to climb up the turnbuckle. The fans cheer insanely as Ced raises his arms up in the air and looms above his last opponent!

Axis : “Yes! No matter what Poisyn does, he can’t escape this situation! Let’s face it, folks… Ced is going to win.”

As Ced is just about to leap off… Flexxx jumps up to the apron and swiftly, yet violently, cracks the brunt of the kendo stick into the back of Ced’s brain! Ced wobbles around dizzily from the impact to the head, with shattered dreams, as Flexxx climbs up the turnbuckle from the apron and shoves Ced off of the top rope! As Ced goes flying off the turnbuckle, in the way he did NOT intend to, his dead weight lands on top of Poisyn, and referee Hardcastle interprets the cover as a pin attempt. So Hardcastle raises his hand up for that ominous 3-count!

Flexxx : “What the hell? You stupid… sorry… son of a BITCH!!!”

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

“THR-*crack!*”

Axis : “HOLY SHIT! Flexxx bashes Ced’s head in with the kendo stick, again!”

Edwin : “Bru-tal… gotta give ya that.”

Axis : “Yeah… but aside from this being a DQ matchup… Flexxx isn’t even IN the match anymore!”

Flexxx stands over Ced’s limp body that’s laying over Poisyn, with a sickening stare in his eyes and a lust for shedded blood. The Raging Porno Man grabs Ced’s head, while still holding the kendo stick, and he lifts a dazed Ced back onto his two feet, then just leaves Ced standing in the ring with absolutely no way to defend himself. Flexxx kicks Ced Ordonez in the gut and twists his head into a ¾ turn facelock postion… then brutally RAMSHACKLES~! Ced’s skull on top of the Flunkmasta’s kendo stick and lays him out on the mat again.

Axis : “OH MY GAWD ALMIGHTY! ’TWISTERFUCK’ STUNNER ONTO A KENDO STICK!!!”

King : “Geez, Axis, you shout so loud… it’s not like we need hearing aids, man.”

Referee Sexton Hardcastle has witnessed all that he can possibly stomach… thus he finally calls for the bell!

“DING! DING! DING!”

Funyon : “Your winner of this match up, via ringside interference DQ………… absolutely nobody!”

Asbolutely Nobody’s music plays on the SmarksTron, and Absolutely Nobody shouts out with pride that nobody won! After Nobody climbs out of the ring, the fans cheer for nobody as nobody walks down the ramp and slaps the audience’s hands! Nobody has exited the building with a strong dignity in tact! Absolutely Nobody has made a big enough impact on the world within this wrestling business!

Axis : “Uh…”

Edwin : “Yeah. Right. Of course.”

King : “Hmm…”

As Flexxx paces around the ring, still quite unable to vent his anger completely, his left eyeball catches sight of a strong and brave fighter, still trying to get up. This man is Matt Myers. Flexxx thinks for a second… then walks over to the bruised Myers/Poisyn and asks him to grab his hand. Flexxx lifts Myers back onto his two feet and both men look each other straight in the eye, not knowing how to react to each other.

Axis : “This can’t be good… Matt Myers and Fletcher Callaway lost each other’s trust, months ago…”

Both men stall and start to shift their eyes around nervously… but then, Myers shakes Flexxx’s hand and the entire crowd explodes with cheers!

Axis : “Incredible, just incredible! Flexxx and Matt Myers have put their Destruction pasts behind and seemed to have befriended each other once more.”

Edwin : “They’re not the same people they were before the end of the IGN era… it was only logical that they came to their senses and forgave and forgot.”

King : “Wow… this is REAL special. Yeah, OK, cool, the two made up. Now on with the show. Next up on Crimson, Mafia, IL and Z are facing off in succession of the last 3-way battle. If you don’t stay tuned, your IQ points will drop by 40 and you’ll become impotent. So STAY TUNED!!!”

(Fade to black. Cut to commercial.)

May 12, 2002

Another commercial flashes before our very eyes, and then, before we know it, SJL Crimson returns to DC, and we can barely get a shot of the fans before the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping the crowd up as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance, like Christian’s entrance. But then, as the first words begin, the pyro in front of the entrance stops, a spotlight shining onto the stage, shining off Ash, who is in a Jericho-like pose. The crowd pops like there’s no tomorrow as the see the Poke Freak, who spins around from his Jericho pose and walks halfway down the ramp. Stopping his walking, Ash brings his right arm up straight in the air quickly and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right hand. At this point, five red pyro blasts shoot up from the stage in unison, right where the original pyro was. Ash releases himself from their poses and goes down to ringside, slapping hands with the fans and getting pumped up as a video of clips from his best SWF, JL, and ML matches plays on the SmarkTron.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the SJL WORLD CHAMPION … ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMM!!!!!” Funyon bellows as the Poke Freak makes his way to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, Wallace accompanying him as he gets up. Funyon hands him the mic, the crowd on their feet, cheering him on in DC as he raises the mic to his lips to begin, the crowd still on their feet cheering him on!

“Let’s hear what the Poke Freak has to say!” replies Axis, waiting for word from Ash.

“Probably just garbage...” King answers, not the lest bit happy he is stuck here.

“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO POKE FREAKS OF DC!!!!” Ketchum’s first words echo over the rowdy crowd as they cheer for him, deafeaning in repsonse, but Ash slowly raises his hand to silence them. “It feels great to be back here... and even better as champion!” The crowd pops quickly, but they are soon done, knowing their continuous cheer will keep their hero from talking. “And you know what? I don’t really know what to say, but... thank you. Thank you, and all the other Poke Freaks around the world for cheering me on and supporting me in my quest to win the belt.” The crowd cheers, though not as much as the first time, knowing Ash has another thought coming up. “Oh yeah... and one more person thanks you...” He raises Wallace high into the air, over his head, almost like The Rock does. “Him.”

The crowd responds with a deafenaing roar of approval, keeping Ash from moving on at the present movement.

“Wallace is GOD!!!!” Edwin proclaims. “They love him!”

“What? How can you love an inanimate object?” King inquires. “Oh wait... I almsot forgot about Freak Boy here...”

“Now, as you may or may not all know,” Ketchum begins again, the crowd quieting to listen to his words, “Tom Flesher did quite a number on my car yesterday. Well... I wanted to say thanks. My seats needed to be upholstered once more, the windshield had a crack in it and needed to be replaced, the dentman was coming over to fix a dent in my OTHER car anyways, and I needed to replace my tires, since they were wearing out. So, Tom, thanks for wrecking everything that needed to be fixed anyways.”

The crowd pops as Ash lowers the mic for a second, but he lifts a hand to slience them.

“But wait!” Ash replies, silencing the crowd. “I haven’t improved your car, Tom! You sly fucker, you. Trying to help me and ask nothing in return.” Suddenly, the crowd cheers, as upon the SmarkTron appears Tom Flesher’s beautiful new car. It glissens and gelams in the light... or at least it would, if not blocked from the sun by a 10-ton wrecking ball. Ash smiles as the crowd cheers before bringing the mic back up to his lips.

“Let ‘er rip, Horace!” Ash commands, and as the shot switches to Horace the wrecking ball operator pulling a switch, it pulls back out to a full view of Tom’s car, just in time to see 10-tons of solid steel smash into Flesher’s car. The windows shatter simultaneously as the ball caves in the roof of the car. The entire interior is curshed under its inscupulous weight, causing the bottom of the car to smash into the concrete floor of the parking garage. The alarm goes off as the axles are bent from the sheer weight of the wrecking ball, and due to external pressure from the tire wall, the tires all explode at once, deflating as Tom’s car sinks into the concrete floor.

“OH MY GOD!!!” Axis screams. “Flesher’s car is flatter than a pancake!”

“Pancakes? Mmmmm...” Edwin responds, recalling his breakfast at IHOP this morning as Ash begins to speak again.

“And let me tell you, dudes, that-”

Suddenly, Zach de la Rocha's unusually creepy voice echoes in a low, ghostly volume throughout the arena, cutting Ash off as "Born as Ghosts" by Rage Against the Machine plays and a video of Flexxx's Golden Gun flashes on the SmarkTron screen. Flexxx walks out, microphone in hand... looking quite displeased. The crowd boos him heavily, but he ignores their pitiful attempts to get him to leave and raises the mic to his lips, face showing his rage as he begins to speak.

“ASH!” Flexxx begins furiously, “HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR THAT GREAT OF A MAN LIKE THAT!!!!” The crowd boos as in ring, Ash rolls his eyes and sighs, knowing that this is gonna be a looooooooooong night. “And... and I can’t believe the JLCC lets scum like you hold something as important as that!” The crowd boos him louder. “SHUT UP!!! ALL OF YOU!!!” Flexxx screams at the fans, alienating himslef more and more as he continues on. “So... in order to bring GREATNESS and PRESTIGE to what you have soiled... I CHALLENGE YOU TO A TITLE MATCH, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!” The crowd pops loudly to the challenge, hoping to see an all-out brawl later on.

“Whoa!” King replies without haste “TITLE MATCH!!!! YES!”

“Nope. Ash won’t be defending it tonight. Commish’s orders.” Edwin replies

No, Fuckmaster Sex,” Ash calmly answers, “You don’t have to beat an answer out of me. But first... why are you sticking up for the icky stuff at the bottom of your kitchen sink after dinner that is Tom Flesher?”

Flexxx slowly speaks in reply, looking as if he is about to blow up.“Because... HE IS A GOLDEN GOD, LIKE ME!” The crowd bos loudly as Flexxx looks for the source of the boos once more. “SHUT UP!!!!” Ash calmly smiles as he senses the crowd turning on Flexxx, and he slowly brings his mic up, Wallace laying across Ash’s shoulder as he answers the Flunkmasta.

“So, you’re a friend of Tom’s...” Ash questions. Flexxx nods his head in reply as Ketchum raises the microphone. “Well... any friend of Tom’s is a fuckin’ ENEMY OF ME.” The tone in which the last three notes are delivered sends the crowd into a frenzied cheer, but Ketchum raises his slowly upwards, silencng the crowd as he finishes his statement.

“And one more thing Flexxx... about that title shot tonight... NO. You’re a dumb fuck to come out here and even ask me that, bitch. Now... what I’d suggest you do is turn you sorry little son of a bitch ass around and walk it back to your locker room, lock yourself in there, go find the biggest pole you can find, the ABSOLUTE biggest pole you can find, and shove it straight up your cunt, because as far as I’m concerned, you won’t be getting a title shot tonight,” as he speaks, he points toward the turnbuckle on his right with his free hand, “on Crimson,” he points near the turnnbuckle on his left with the same hand as he speaks, then swings it high in the air across the length of the stage and brings it back to near where it started as he says the proceeding “or as long as you’re in the SJL! And to quote Steve Austin: That’s the bottom line, ‘cause Ash Ketchum said so!”

Flexxx looks at Ash with disgust as “Elevation” kicks back in, Ketchum smiling in the ring, asserting himself as a tough champ who won’t be pushed around. Flexxx turns around and leaves, much to the crowd’s delight as Ash Ketchum walks over to a near-by turnbuckle and climbs it with Wallace, the shot of Ash and Wallace being what we last see as the screen fades into blackness before another commercial.

May 12, 2002

(The camera has started to tilt, whirl, and pan throughout the sea of JL marks. Signs like “Ash Ketchum is my hero!” are shown. Another colorful sign as “Z you’re the father of my baby!” Next bunch of portly men with their shirts off spell “Ced rocks!” The camera quickly passes that gruesome sight, and not too soon it pauses at a women revealing much skin. To complete this scene a “Cutthroat was my hero! Then I got a black eye!” sign is shown to many chuckles. The ring is also shown, as it zooms through the entrance side to the announcer’s table. Edwin MacPhisto the hip-hopping, rocking, blender, and kazoo master sits on the far right. Axis the oldie-but-goodie sits in the middle to separate the two arch rivals. The evil, knifing Suicide King sits on the far left complete with a smirk).

“Hello, and welcome back to the exclusive and fabulous Crimson! I am with my co-worker Edwin MacPhisto and unfortunately stuck with the Suicide King.” Axis introduces then pauses rolling his eyes as King whirls his hand and extends at the same time in a bow gesture.

“After one heck of a wild ride on Metal… wait, huzzah! That reminds me, wild ride… roller coaster. ROOOLLLER COASTER OF LOOOOVE!” Suicide King and Axis both groan and Axis picks up nearly yelling trying to drown out Edwin’s “serenading”.

“Ash Ketchum, the man with a dream… he joined the ML and worked his way through the rankings, and this Metal after a complete thriller beat Flesher for the world title!”

An “Ash!” chant begins quietly and catches on like wild fire!

Axis waits, and then continues to re-cap, “Yes kudos… and Tod won the European Title off of Deathwish! Cutthroat got the crap beat out of him! Flesher joined IL and Poisyn’s alliance, and Frost wins the contender ship match!”

“That was a fluke win by Ash…. SHUT UP!” Suicide King yells to the screaming fans, and he then goes on to say, “Flesher, IL, and Poisyn? It’s the dream team!” King raves on.

“Yes, Ced showing up for X-Force 9, Flexx for the Saviors… and Poisyn for Flesher and IL alliance have already battle in that brutal match!” Edwin adds in.

“Which brings up to this first pin wins match! Z –huge cheers- for X Force Nine, Mafia –huge boos- for the Porn/Mafia connection and IL –big boos- for the Poisyn, Flesher –an explosion of jeers- face off at each other!” Axis finishes as the fans a wait in approval.

“This match is set for one fall… it is the battle of the important alliances.” Funyon cries out over the last few Ash chants.

“Introducing first… is the New Sound, and is teamed up with the Raging Porn man Flexx –instant boos- he was spawned in Denver and weighs in 215 at 6’0” flat… he is ‘the Revolution’ Mafia!”

The lights go out (as King makes the comment, “That’s over-used now of days… but Mafia to win this one!”) and the hard drums with the sounds of a guitar to Prong’s “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck!” plays. A small “YOU SUCK!” chant begins but doesn’t catch around. Multiple colored lights flash and shine everywhere as it matches nicely with the song. Soon a spotlight zooms around like a drunk was controlling it but it focuses at the top of the ramp. Mafia’s back to the crowd (and the world) as he raises his arms in a cross sign. He turns around to many boos in the black leather trench coat, the black leather jacket, and a plain black shirt.

“That’s my man!” King says doing a small clap to Mafia.

The spotlight stalks Mafia as a fan is crazy enough to punch him on the shoulder hard, Mafia laughs at the absurd punch (as Edwin laughs at Mafia who did wince) and he finishes his walk down the ramp. He turns on his heels and struts up the steps into the ring. He whips off his leather trench coat and jacket tossing it aside, and spins on his heels landing on one knee and continues his famous taunt.

“End this already!” Axis whines.

Major negative reaction is given towards Mafia; he throws his head back and laughs at the fans that just “don’t get it.” He flexes showing good muscle and then gets to his feet as the lights go back on. Lacking the pads and braces he wears baggy black leather pants and he rests his back on the far right turnbuckle (from the ring entrance) as he takes an inward sigh.

“Next from the beautiful Trenton, New Jersey… he is a member of X-Force Nine! He weighs in at 229! ZZZZZEEEEE!” Funyon screams over the huge cheers at Z the patron saint of luck in the JL.

The funky sounds of Faith No More’s “Epic” begins to play, and the same spotlight highlights the blue haired camo dressed Z. The fans rise to their feet with cheers.

“Z has a bad left leg and is quite the joker we’ve found out.” Axis chimes in.

He struts down the aisle (with a slight limp) and spins on the heels of his cream colored boots. He rolls into the ring, as Mafia gets out of the corner, and locks a stare with Z. The two slowly approach the center of the ring, and Mafia lunges forward shoving Z. The victim of the early attack is barely even harmed as he stumbles back.

“Hey, wait for IL!” Suicide King whines.

“He’ll lose anyways, show him Z!” Edwin comments as King sighs as if MacPhisto was just a little boy mark.

Mafia takes a right step forward and shoves Z again! Z this time loses balance his arms flailing but both arms slam into the ropes and bounce Z forward. His spastic right arm slams into Mafia’s nose infuriating him.

A voice chirps in, “Ladies, ladies… don’t fight now.” The camera zooms up to show Insane Luchador standing tall at 6’3” and in his usual attire. His tan cargo pants swish together showing his pants are a bit too baggy (but not pulled down), black sweatshirt with black shoes, and sinister jet-black medium spiked hair give him his usual look. He wields a microphone ready to banter. Z and Mafia conclude their boyish fight and looks over at the Insane Luchador.

“You know an old friend of mine recently passed away… meh, high school friend, a skater… anyway it got me thinking. He was a jackass but I could only remember the good things that he did. Heh…” IL begins.

“What?” Axis and Edwin both ask confused.

Silence.

“No matter, but when I die, since Plagues do eventually die out… your only going to remember me ruling. Me being the baby face, the Psychotic Hero, and that’s not cool! Hell, that’s almost as rotten as Z’s wrestling skill and Ebola’s attempt to be a Plague to the JL.” Slight boos. Insane Luchador pauses taking a few steps down the ramp as Mafia snickers at the Z remark. “I haven’t forgotten about you Justin…” IL adds in and the grin is wiped off his face.

“Justin?” King asks.

“I hate rambles…” Edwin comments, dropping his head into his hands.

“Yes, Justin… because New Sound sounds like some new pop band! Pink Floyd… wouldn’t it just be Pink for you?” IL taunts, as Mafia face-hardens with anger. “I could do a heel spin better than you!” Insane Luchador proved it too as he spun 540* and landed perfectly. Mafia barks to come down there so he can kick IL’s ass but Andrew refuses, “Not yet. I’m not finished!” Pause from IL.

As I was saying… I haven’t been much of a Plague, huh? I mean, you’ll ALL say after my death ‘Oh but his intentions was just to climb the ladder!’ or ‘Remember him and Renegade beating that bastard Brimstone?’ well that’s the least bit of what I want you to think.” Insane Luchador has to stop as a “RENE-A-GADE!” chant goes off.

“Shut up, don’t live in the pass… I want you to be afraid to go to hell because you KNOW I’ll be rotting there!” An insane laugh emits from IL’s mouth.

“Where is ‘Gade to make IL tap out when you need him?” Axis asks.

Pause.

“Let me cut to the point, I am the True Plague, the REAL beginning of the end to the JL! And an announcement from the bottom of my heart…” Insane Luchador’s head suddenly falls and it seems to soften up.

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” King sputters, and Edwin looks up shaking his head in disbelief.

“I’m sorry to everyone…”

“…Huh?” is all Axis can think of.

“That I have to say… from the bottom of my heart… I’m sorry… for having to say FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK YOU!” Insane Luchador drops the microphone and an “Asshole!” chant nearly blows the roof off of the MCI Center.

Insane Luchador charges down the ramp and bell chimes in.

IL nods towards Mafia and the two spins around Mafia landing a punch to Z’s gut. IL with a jab to his chin, and then IL and Mafia both shove Z. Z yet again the victim reels backwards and IL leaps into the air a bit throwing one leg up and slamming the toe of his skate shoe into Z’s chin.

“Yes! Beat down that loser!” King says pumping a fist in the air.

Mafia leans over and says, “Beat the shit out of him.” And IL smirks, a yes, Mafia then grapples with Z but only to knee him straight in the gut. Z drops to his knees, where IL slams his shoe onto Z’s back.

“No! It’s triple threat, not handicap!” Axis whines. Edwin rambles about how he “knew it” but just sighs.

Z stays on all fours, and IL grabs him by the hair pulling him to his feet. Mafia throws an open hand slap against Z’s chest. Z attacks with a punch straight to IL’s face, but Luchador makes an attempt at a dodge but is hit in the shoulder. Mafia throws two kick punches to his gut, and Rickmen in fury reels his arm back and Z pleads “Not the face!”

IL let’s the fist goes, as it slams right on Z’s nose. Z stumbles a bit then does a backwards roll getting to his feet staggering. The fans boo the two heels with much heat yet rejoice as Mafia shoves Insane Luchador out of no where and Z charges forwards clotheslining Mafia down. A Mafia slams into the mat and IL engages with a grapple with Z.

Mafia rolls behind Z and springs to his feet, as he weaves his fingers inside of each other making a fist with both hands, he raises it into the air ready to strike Z in the back of the head! Z, with his incredible luck is able to retain the grapple and switch spots with Rickmen as Mafia slams the fist on IL’s skull!

“I don’t believe this kid’s luck!” Suicide King groans.

Insane Luchador limp and stunned for the moment gives Z the chance to hit one of his signature moves! He knees the lifeless IL in the gut, grabs both his arms and places him so his head is to his side. He locks his arms around IL’s arms and goes to drop!

“Double arm DDT I smell!” Axis proclaims.

Andrew in an attempt of a reversal leaps into the air lifting the rest of his body upwards, but only accomplishes putting himself vertically hanging in Z’s fate. Mafia laughs and figures like Insane Luchador get beat down on, but he stands closely behind Z. Z throws his leg backwards as it slams into Mafia’s jewels! He grabs that area and staggers backwards gasping for air.

“HA! HA! HUZZAH!” Edwin cries out enjoying every moment of this.

Z bends forwards causing IL back to his feet and back to the start. He drops down and IL’s head hits the mat violently as he lays there limp. Mafia nearly shaking with rage stands to his feet waiting for Z. He turns around and sees Mafia running into the ropes he leaps onto them and turns himself around (with grace) and tucks his knees in and launches them out as they slam into Z’s chest. Z trying to keep balance staggers with great speed and tumbles backwards. He let himself lay there for a bit all spread out everywhere. He recollects his sensing and lifts himself to his feet, as Mafia is one step ahead of Z. He grapples with Z, he quickly lets go leaping into the air and placing his legs around his foe. He tugs down and hits the hurricana! Z lies on his back staring up at the ceiling in pain,

ONE!

T, Z lifts his shoulder up with haste. Z rolls away from any further attack and gets to his feet wiping his hands over his shirt as if wiping dust off.

Insane Luchador groans, and slowly is able to life himself to his feet. He sways his ears ringing, and opens his eyes to see Mafia charging at him! Mafia bends down going for some sort of tackle yet with quick reflexes IL leap frogs into the air and lands gracefully. Next he sees Z WAY to close to do anything as he throws both his arms out slamming into IL first and then hitting Mafia in the back of his neck! Mafia is crippled to his hands and knees, while Insane Luchador is on the ground pissed at him. Z bends down and reaches and locks his arms around Mafia’s chest and lifts him to his feet.

“German Suplex… Z isn’t that strong, is he?” Edwin asks doubtful of Z’s judgment.

Z strains but is able to hover Mafia off the ground, however Mafia throws his elbow into Z’s ear. Z lets go and lets out a bit of a groan and pushes his blue hair back to hold his ear. Mafia then throws his arm over Z’s neck and begins to add pressure thus choking Z.

Eddy Long sighs and begins a very slow four count, however at two count Insane Luchador is towering above Mafia. He moves the arm up and pulls back causing Z to collapse; Mafia wraps his legs around Z’s waist area but bumps into IL! The two bounce back forward and then they slam into the mat side-ways. Insane Luchador lifts his leg into the air but first runs an extended thumb over his throat to a chorus of boos. IL aims the boot right at the side of Mafia’s head but waits as Eddy asks Z to tap (who refuses absurdly). Z’s head shakes no the whole time as Insane Luchador waits… waits… then slams the shoe down at full force! Mafia goes completely limp and Z rolls out of the hold. He has a full smile on his face thinking some absurd thought of Mafia trying to hard and letting loose. However he does a goofy taunt with his hands as the crowd cheers while IL stands above Z who’s on one knee thrusting his arm in the air making a “number-one” sign. Z rises to his feet only to turn around cocky and bumps into IL. He slithers back but Insane Luchador already strikes him with a lightning fast kick to his rib cage, then a left hand weaker punch to his nose, next is a low leg sweep which isn’t enough to trip Z so IL steps to the side and throws a kick to the back of Z’s injured left calf. Z clutches it in pain as Insane Luchador steps in front of Z and tackles him down! Insane Luchador throws a wild punch that slams hard into the canvas, and soon another punch misses, and IL pauses as Z throws his own right hand into IL’s eye. Rickmen takes in a deep breath as if to control himself but instead recollects himself on his feet. Meanwhile, Mafia has reached the ropes as support, his body shaking in rage and pain combination. Insane Luchador lets Z stagger forwards and the two engage in a fierce grapple. Z throws his knee out but Insane Luchador dodges it easily. They retain in the grapple and Insane Luchador inches closer trying to set up for quick snap suplex, however Z catches him by surprise! He throws his knee into IL and places his head between his spread legs, he wraps his arms around IL’s torso and lifts him into the air and quickly falls to his rear end.

“Sit-down piledriver!” Axis marks out, and the fans rises to their feet as Z lays on IL for the pin. Eddy Long sighs, as he has to exercise, he drops to his stomach and begins the count…

“ONE!” The crowd sings following.

“TWO!” Mafia is crawling towards the pin to break it up; he grabs Z’s foot

“THREE!” The crowd finishes but Eddy Long puts two fingers in the air, and shows Z tugged off of IL!

”NO!” Axis cries out.

“That a boy!” Suicide King exclaims with a full grin.

Andrew Rickmen lies there lifelessly; Mafia lunges out to reach the ropes and pulls himself to his knees. Mafia then gets to his feet, and Z pushes himself up, as Eddy doesn’t even care to make the 10 count. Mafia and Z is up to their feet, and IL is motionless.

“If anyone gets the upper-hand they can win this!” Edwin points out getting excited.

Mafia goes to throw a kick, but Z catches the foot and pulls Mafia inward letting go of the leg. He then meets in a grapple yet Mafia would normally overpower Z but Z isn’t nearly as worn down and he locks in a front headlock and grabs Mafia’s black leather pants. He lifts Mafia in the air and stalls for a second and then drops.

“Oh so original!” Suicide King says sarcastically.

Z stands up jumping around excited. Mafia is able to lift himself to his feet again and watches Z taunt. “What a jackass…” Mafia thinks, as he stands right behind Z. He taps him on the shoulder as he whips around and he kicks Z into the gut. He then lunges forward hitting a headlock and then drops to the ground! Mafia lifts Z up, and he runs forward shoving Z into the corner. Mafia then hoists him up onto the top turnbuckle, (as IL stirs and gets to his knees, right behind that one corner). Mafia then steps on the top turnbuckle and Mafia raises his right fist in the air and begins to bring the fist on Z’s body.

“It’s over! What did I tell you?” Suicide King says.

Insane Luchador got to his feet and he charged towards the two foes. IL climbs up to the second turnbuckle and wraps his arms around the waist. IL drops down throwing Mafia down into a German Suplex, he perfects it by landing in a bridge!

”Z’s dazed!”

“ONE!”

”TWO!”

“THRE” IL saw Z leap off, and IL let go!

Insane Luchador crawls up to his feet, and Z hits canvas! IL pulls Z up by his wild blue hair, and kicks him in the gut, leaps forward in a headlock and hits the Evenflow DDT! He makes the cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE! Empty plastic cups are tossed in as boos are given everywhere. “Dig” By Mudvayne blasts as Funyon announces IL as the winner.

“I can’t believe it!” Axis cries out and Edwin sighs heavily. King shrugs, “Plagues are dangerous kids!”

Trash and boos are the last thing seen and hear as Mafia and Z roll out of the ring.

Famous…classic….. starwipe!

May 12, 2002

Many loyal SJL fans return to their seats to wait for the main event match. The blood red lights of Crimson flash through out the MCI Center in Washington DC as the show goes back to the air.

Axis: Hey hey hey folks, welcome back to Crimson, for this main event match.

Edwin: Xero versus Jacob Helmlsey, again, in the special Number one contendership for the SJL World Belt. Why do I say this is so special? Its the most feared match of all time.....

King: Well?

Edwin: I forget.

King: Flamer.

Edwin: Oh ya! The dreaded Inferno Match.

King: If that was your best scary voice, then i'm scared.

Edwin: Really?

King: No. Its just annoying.

Axis: Jacob Helmsley almost won that triple threat match against Sydney and Xero. Jake nails the Black Stallion, but Xero places Sydney's leg on the rope stopping the pin count. A few minutes later. Xero nails the Absolute Xero on Jacob, ending the match.

Edwin: Jacob looking for revenge, and hopefully his pipe will be a factor in this match, before last time.

Axis: Xero on the other hand, looks to hand Jake another loss to his record, and have another shot at the World Belt against Ash Ketchum or Tom Flesher, depends on the victor on Metal.

Edwin: You can see all the SJL referees surrounding the ring with fire extinguishers in their hands.

King: There is a bunch of men around here. You wanna chase them, Edwin?

Edwin's face blushes after King's comment.

Axis: Ref's are ready for the burning match.

King: The only thing being burned will be Edwin.

Edwin gives a mean look at Suicide King.

King: And the loser also.

The lights are turned off in the MCI Center, as "Meaning of Life" by Disturbed is being played loudly. Once, Jacob Helmsley walks out from behind the curtains, and steps out to the stage, the lights are turned back on. Washington fans shout boos towards the crazy person, as a "You bastard," chant breaks out. Jacob ignores the fans, and continues to walk down the run way. Mr. Helmsley starts to walk up the stairs and enters the ring.

Funyon: Ladies and Gents, welcome to tonight main event.. Tonights main event is the red hot, Inferno Match, FOR THE NUMBER ONE WORLD CONTENDERSHIP!!!! First off, at a height of Six feet, and four inches, and from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He is the psychopathic pipe basher, JACOB HELLLLMMMMSSSSLEEEEYYYY!!!

The fans boo Jake loudly, as he stands in the corner waiting for Xero to come out.

Axis: Tonights main event is brought to you buy; Pepsi Max. Pepsi Max, the official drink of the SJL.

Edwin: And by X-Box. X-box is the only system where you can buy the official SJL Absolution. You can be many wrestlers, and such classic JL wrestlers also. X-box. The next best thing since Pepsi Max.

The lights are immeditaly shut off, as a voice is heard over the speakers. "A light in the black..." The voice trails off as a bright spotlight shines on the entrance way. The voice continues, "...Or just a fear, of the dark..." The voice trails off again, as "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden is being played. Xero walks out to the spotlight, and receives warm cheers from the Washington fans. Xero walks down towards the enterance way with the spotlight still following him. Xero stops at ringside, looking at Jacob Helmsley straight at his eyes.

Axis: Just a few days ago, these men battled it out in the triple threat match. Now this match is for a shot at the gold.

Xero slides into the ring, and stands in his corner, looking straight at Mr. Helmsley. Each of the bottom rope is soaking in gasoline, as Referee Matthew Kivell lights up each bottom rope. At the last rope, Mr. Kivell accidently lights himself on fire too.

Axis: MY GAWD! REFEREE MATTHEW KIVELL IS ON FIRE!!!

Edwin: Save him!

Referee Little Johnny comes over and fire's his fire extinguisher on Matthew Kivell. Paramedics come out and escort Matthew Kivell to the back stage.

King: Well I guess Matthew Kivell is technically the loser, since he lit himself on fire.

All of the bottom ropes are on fire, as Xero looks around. Already sweet is dripping down his forehead, while Jacob looks at Xero with an ice cold stare.

Edwin: Jacob not at all happy how Metal ended for him, and looks to take his revenge out on Xero.

The bell rings, as this Inferno match is underway. Jacob and Xero move closer together, and stand right up to each other, eye to eye, nose to nose. Xero pushes Helmsley away. Jacob snaps and starts a flurry of right hand punches that knock Xero down to the canvas. Xero lying on his hands and knees seeing if there was any blood on him. Mr. Helmsley walks up towards Jacob and starts kicking Xero in the ribs. Xero is still crawling on his knees, while Jacob continues to boot Xero in the kidneys. Mr. Helmsley reaches down and grabs a hold of Xero by his arm. Mr. Helmsley pulls Xero up to his feet, still holding on to the arm of his. Jacob lifts Xero's arm high up in the air, and snaps it back down, making him drop on the ground. Jacob still holding on to Xero's arm starts to stomp on the joint of his arm and shoulder meet.

Edwin: Jacob is dominating Xero.

King: You like to be dominated too, ya carnie.

Axis: Jacob taking control of the match this early, not having Xero to have a strong offensive explosion as of yet.

Jacob yanks Xero up to his feet. Xero tired already, gets whipped into the turnbuckles by Mr. Helmsley. Xero goes into the turnbuckles. Mr. Helmsley charges towards Xero, but Xero raises both his feet high in the air, connecting right at Jacob's jaw. Xero sprints back at Mr. Helmsley, and jumps on his shoulders. On his shoulders, Xero wraps his legs around Jaocb's neck, and brings him back down with a Head Scissors Take Down. Xero rolls foreward towards the adjacent turnbuckles, as Mr. Helmsley staggers to get up to his feet. Jake slowly walks towards Xero. Mr. Simon takes a quick look behind him, and snaps his right leg towards Jacob's face, knocking him down with the Back Heel Kick. The loud echo of the lightning quick kick from Xero, shocked the fans.

Axis: What a kick

King: Best kicks in the SJL.

Edwin: That kick was extremly loud.

Jacob is holding his jaw, after that kick. Xero stands near the ropes, and almost catches on fire.

Axis: Xero's pants nearly caught fire. He's mighty close.

Jacob is slowly walking towards Xero. Xero drops down towards the mat, and hooks Jacob Helmsley by his left leg, sending him down right on the bottom rope, landing face first.

Axis: Jacob is on fire!!!

Edwin: This match ended early.

Funyon: Winner, and the number one contender for the World HeavyWeight Belt...Xero!!!!

Jacob's face catches on fire, but Xero doesn't stop. He grabs Jacob by the back of his head, and starts to rub his face on the firey rope. Jacob screems in agony.

King: I don't I've ever hear Jacob scream so loudly.

Axis: Xero is sick. He's more demented than Jacob himself.

Edwin: Oh my god.

Xero lets go of Jacob, as referee's quickly put out the fire on Jacob Helmlsey. EMT's run out from the back with a stretcher, and stops at the side of the ring. Jacob's face is badly burned, as the EMT's put a cover over top Jacob's face, and place him on a stretcher. The camera shows a close up on Xero with veins bulging out of his head.

King: Even I am not that stupid

Axis: If Xero made a statement towards Ash, and Tom Flesher, he made a big one. He does not take things lightly.

Edwin: I've gotta do something.

Axis: You better, you are the commissioner.

Xero stands in the ring, as he sees Edwin standing up to his feet. The crowd reacts largely, as he has the mic in his hand.

Edwin: Whoa whoa whoa!!! Who do you think you are Xero? Yes, this is an inferno match, but once the guy is lit, you call it quits, you don't go on, nearly killing people, let alone Jacob Helmsley.

Xero walks around the ring, as the referee's put out the fire on the ropes.

Edwin: Hey Xero! You pissed off?

King: I don't think Edwin should be challenging Xero right now.

Edwin: You pissed off that Ash Ketchum is the World Champion, and you aren't? Well thats too bad. He worked his ass off for it and he deserves it. You slack off, and whine about a damn title shot. You've had your chance and blew it.

Xero stands in the ring, shocked what Edwin said to him. Heat is building on as Xero looks at Edwin's eyes, mad than before. Xero shouts out for a mic. The ring bell guy throws a mic towards Xero, as he catches it.

Xero: Blew my chance? Blew my chance? I was defeated by better people, where are they now? King is right there beside you. Roja is gone, Spider Nekura is Tag Team Champion, and Erek Taylor is Light Heavy-Weight champion. These guys are succesful WFers. Sure its great to see Ash win the title over Tom Flesher for his first time, but-

Edwin: But...you screwed up, and the many other chances you did too. Don't worry, you'll get your shot, but trust me, don't expect to give it to you.

Xero: In that case, i'll make a stipulation. My stipulation.

Edwin: And that is...

Xero: We've seen Inferno matches, handi-cap. Ah here's one we have not seen in a long long time....First Blood Match!!!

The Washington fans mark out for Xero's choice of match on Crimson.

Edwin: And I have one thing also too add too.

Xero: Whats that?

Edwin: SUSPENDED FOR METAL!!!

Xero: What?!

Fans mark out for Edwin's decision also, as Xero's face turns beat red.

Edwin: And this is the last time you go on a rampage, cause this is the end of your tyrants.

Xero: This isn't the end Edwin...Oh no... This is just the beginning.

Xero drops the mic, and looks at Edwin. "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden is being played, as Xero leaves the ring.

Axis: Xero suspended? First Blood Match by Xero. Whats next?

fades to black.

May 12, 2002

(With the Crimson Theme keeping the masses from boredom, the cameras show one of the many backstage halls of this maze of an arena.)

Axis: That’s Jacob Helmsley!

Edwin: How is he’s back on his feet after what we just witnessed?

King: He’s a badass heel. We all can do that.

(There in that area, EMTs try to attend to Jacob Helmsley for burns or other injuries but he bats them away and staggers down the hallway, beaten, battered and bruised. Thoughts of his encounter linger in his mind as one persistent EMT continues badgering Jake so he can help him.)

EMT: Please. Just let us help you. You could have been severely burned!

Jake: Get the fuck off me! I said, get the fuck off me!! Fuck you! Motherfuck...

King: That’s hardcore.

Edwin: King! Jake needs medical attention right now!

(The EMT stops in his tracks with a worried stare over his eyes. Now Jacob stumbles alone down the hall to find his locker room and peace to think things through. Plagued heavily with exhaust, he keeps on hand on the wall to maintain his balance. He makes it to his locker room door. A tired shove sends the door flying open. Jake catches his breath and scans the vacant room. The absence of others is treasured right now because Jake has some time to himself. He steps in the room and shuts the door behind him...)

(WHAM! SLAM! AHHG!! Suddenly a loud commotion is heard inside the room as something slams up against the other side of the door. SLAM!! SLAM!!! More thuds follow.)

Axis: What is going on inside there?! Someone, check it out. This doesn’t look good.

(AHHHGG!! UHH!! Obviously someone is being slammed around and beaten mercilessly but no one can help. That one EMT frantically tries the door but it’s locked form the inside. BANG! BANG!! He founds on the door, fearing the worst.)

Edwin: Could it be Xero here to finish off the job?

(Uhhh... and all is now quiet. A faint sound chills the blood of all SJL fans as they anxiously look on in shock, waiting, waiting for something. Suddenly the door is flung open...)

King: IT’S... IT’S SCOTT REID!!!

Edwin: BAH-GAWD!!!! What is the meaning of this?

Axis: I’m at a loss for words. I knew something was off about him tonight.

(Smirking as a devil, Scott unwraps a bloodied chain from his fist to reveal an imprint from each link. Scott touches the blood on his hand and smears it with his fingers.)

Scott: You guys had better get in there.

(Scott seems to be in his own world as EMTs flood the scene, rushing into the room. They go around Scott, who is still infatuated with his own fist and the thick blood covering his knuckles.)

Edwin: My god...

(MacPhisto’s jaw drops as he helplessly watches on.)

Edwin: Get more EMTs out there! Now dammit!!

(One EMT looks back at Scott in shock, thinking about how could a human being do this to another.)

Scott: Ha... ha ha... ha ha ha... HA HA HA!

(Scott starts cracking up as his grip tightens around the chain in his hand.)

Axis: This is sick!

(Scott makes his exit as the camera slowly comes into the locker room and then to Jake in an appalling sight. He sits limp against the wall with a slow trickle of blood running down his face, his forehead is busted wide open.)

Edwin: This isn’t right! What has come over this man to do this? What could warrant such a heinous attack?! Folks, we’ll try to get a word on Jake’s condition as soon as possible.

(Fade...)

May 12, 2002

We return from commercial, and the arena goes dark. The bass line from "Rearranged" by Limp Bizkit plays over the loudspeaker, and the SmarkTron turns pure white. The words "SUPERIORITY COMPLEX" throb and pulsate in black, and finally morph into black and white video clips of Tom Flesher hitting his deadly moves. Burning Hammer, Superior Stretch, Boilermaker, Spin Cycle, released German suplex over the top rope... and finally, Tom Flesher walks through the curtain looking sullen and angry. Forsaking his usual Ego Buster t-shirt and jeans, Flesher wears a plain grey t-shirt and black pants. Immediately, the fans begin to boo him loudly.

Axis: And here's what everyone's been waiting for! For the first time since his loss on Wednesday, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher is going to share his thoughts with us!

Suicide King: Tom was robbed! That was a countout victory all the way! I still can't believe that Ash Ketchum has the SJL World Title! What a travesty!

Edwin: And the coffee was weak!

[Tom folds his arms and waits impatiently for them to stop, and when it becomes clear that they won't, he shrugs and walks angrily to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, then grabs the microphone. The fans continue to boo as the music fades out.]

Flesher: [Throughout the interview, Flesher's tone of voice can best be described as bitter. He's angry, upset, not very happy at all.] How nice. We're in the nation's capital. I don't know why they booked me to be here tonight. I wanted nothing more than to stay home and work on strategy. Nothing would have made me happier than for the SJL suits to have just LEFT me... the HELL... ALONE between last Wednesday and next Metal. First, I lose my belt to that jackass who's more concerned with playing with his pocket monster than with actually WRESTLING...

[Loud boos from the capacity crowd...]

and now they make me fly all the way out here to talk to a bunch of people who are barely intelligent enough to put their damn pants on in the morning. Just the sight of this crowd tonight makes me wish I'd contracted some kind of flesh-eating bacteria, just to keep me from having to be... HERE tonight.

Axis: Well that's hardly fair!

Edwin: Boy, talk about too much visual!

[The crowd starts a loud chant of "ASH! ASH! ASH!" Flesher pauses, and just continues talking. To compensate, they turn the house mic's volume up.]

Flesher: Well... I don't plan on staying out here long. Frankly, none of you are worth my time. No one is. Not Edwin, not Axis, not Suicide King and definitely no one who had to buy a ticket to get in. There's only one person in this league who's worth my time, and that's not even because of him. It's because he's got something that belongs to me. Yes, I'm talking about Ash Ketchum.

[Flesher pauses while the crowd bursts into another "ASH! ASH! ASH!" chant.]

King: You tell him, Flesher!

Axis: Um... might I remind you, Ash DID pin Flesher cleanly last week on Metal.

King: Bite me, nerdboy.

Flesher: I don't know what's wrong with Ash. I don't know why he's trying so damn hard to be Edwin MacPhisto. Oh, wait. My mistake. Ash doesn't like PANDAS... he like DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUSES. He's not a member of the prank-loving babyface Midnight Carnival, he's in the prank-loving babyface X Force 9... although if the Carnies offered him a spot, he'd be sure to take it. Hell, he's only driven that into our mind for the PAST SIX MONTHS EVERY GODDAMN TIME HE'S GOTTEN ON TV!!!!!!!! He's not ridiculously funny on the mic... he's just RIDICULOUS. Tell me, Ash... why are you trying so damn hard? Why do you want to be a Carnie so badly? And WHY WON'T YOU LET IT DROP?! God, they're so much smarter than that. They'd drop you like a bad habit if you looked at them wrong. If you said half the stuff to their face - "Carnie in training," my ass - they'd beat you into submission!

King: I dunno... most of the Carnies can barely work a zipper.

Edwin: No, you're confused. We wear tearaways, which don't have zippers, because zippers slow us down.

Axis: Pardon me?

Edwin: The Love Rollercoaster need not slow down for zippers. And besides, it REALLY hurts when you get caught in there!

Flesher: Submission. What a lovely word. It comes from two roots... "sub," meaning "under," and "mit," meaning "to send." To send you under. To put you down. To put you down on the ground and twist your neck one hundred and eighty degrees. To hear your bones snap. To hear you scream in pain, scream like a little girl, scream... for mercy.

[The crowd is silent.]

Yes, Ash... that's what it's going to be. Next Wednesday, we'll meet in a submission match. You'll walk in carrying my SJL World Title belt... and I'll walk in emptyhanded. I'll walk out with the SJL World Title belt... and you'll leave emptyhanded. But believe me, Ash, you won't walk out. No way. You won't even be conscious.

You'll be lucky to be alive.

AND... just to make things fair, Ash-hole... I've got plans. Oh, believe me, Ash... I have plans... I'm bringing four of my closest friends with me next Wednesday, just to keep things fair. But that's not all, Ash... because the guest referee for this match....

["Quarantined" by At The Drive-In begins to play over the loudspeaker, and the MCI Center is bathed in a calming blue light. The beat suddenly explodes, and with that, the blue lights turn crimson red. A dark figure wearing black bondage pants and a white dress shirt appears in the entranceway, to a mixture of loud boos and shocked silence.]

The guest referee is none other than THOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Axis: Oh my god! THOTH! The Clan member from the Smarks Wrestling Federation is going to be refereeing!

King: Ooooh boy... Now, as some of you may know, Thoth and Ash have just a leeetle bit of history.

[The arena bursts into a chorus of boos, so loud that the arena seems to be shaking. The boos resonate through the arena, finally settling on the crowd like the weight of the world.]

Thoth: Suguraku ni shiteyaru... we'll get a fair match, alright.

[Once again, the arena goes dark. "Rearranged" by Limp Bizkit begins to play over the loudspeaker, and Flesher exits the ring silently. Thoth turns around and goes back into the locker room, with Flesher following up the aisle. As Flesher walks through the curtain, this week's broadcast of SJL Crimson fades.]

May 12, 2002

Riznults! No bold tags or anything, just plain ol' typeage.

Mak gets his first win, Franchising Cutthroat! It ain't no thang but a chicken wang...wow, that sounds dirty.

Scott Reid's got some issues...

Next up, Frost defeats Deathwish, and it gets real ugly! This match is an excellent hardcore brawl, folks, so I encourage you to check it out.

And right after that, Tod accepts Deathwish's challenge for a Euro title rematch on Wednesday? Is the Germanator getting in over his head?

Sydney Sky pulls out a very, very close win over TNT! Very close match. I had to read over each match twice to make a decision, and even then it was tough. Nice stuff from both of you.

Flexxx/Ced/Poisyn ends in a no-decision DQ after a pissed-off Flexxx, eliminated first by Ced, gets evil, brutal, and cruel! Flexxx and Poisyn also seem to sew up their differences after this match, which was written by Flexxx. It's a goodie.

And that damn Flexxx is out again to interrupt Ash's title win celebration, demanding a title shot! Commissioner Edwin says for him to suck on it, and the tensions run high as Flexxx stalks out...

The Insane Luchador gets hiyuuuuge win over Mafia and Z! Bazaam!

In the main event, our inferno match, Xero sets Jake on fire to win the title shot on Crimson! He also requests a first blood match after beating Jake bloody (very clever, that), but Commissioner Edwin suspends him for Metal due to his actions! Will he get his match? We'll see about that...

As Jake heads back to the locker room to recover, he's attacked and beaten down by...Scott Reid?!?!? What the hell? This new guy is sure making a name for himself, and fast!

And, the moment you've all been waiting for...Tom Flesher announces his stipulation for Metal's World Title rematch against Ash Ketchum. And the stip is...

...what, you think I'm going to tell you? REEEEEAD! Mwa ha ha.

Fine show. A few too many no-shows, but nice work overall. Card up very shortly--it's almost ready to go right now.

SJL Crimson - Sunday, May 12th

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