Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 26, 2005 (edited) Your last three seconds last a lifetime Edited February 27, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) Live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, and Sofa Central resident hack, J. Michael Caboose. “NO!!” “WHAT THE…” “AHHHH!” SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH… CRASH!! Outside of the arena, the silent night is suddenly cut by the sights and sounds of a rental car bounding off the street, across the sidewalk, and careening into a brick wall, much to the chagrin of the passengers inside, one of which happens to be a flying robot. K.U.R.T. zooms from the wreckage as Matt Harms, Phenom, and Devin Geddon climb to safety, with Phenom pulling Warren Peace out of the driver side window. “You idiot! I told you I should have drove!” Harms yells out in no direction in particular, but as he turns around he finds the rest of his group heading towards the arena doors, only to find them locked. “I don’t believe this!” Phenom yells now, and kicks the glass door, only for K.U.R.T. to cut him off. “Sir.” K.U.R.T. SPEAKS~! “I can get in.” ”What are you going to do? Shrink?” Geddon asks as he sits against the doors, miffed at the idea of being locked out of a PPV. “I’ll get it.” K.U.R.T. says again and flies up towards the roof, gliding softly into an air-vent and traveling down through the ducts, it’s camera showing it’s course before it busts through another vent, scaring the pants out of the DoC outside the doors. “HE DID IT!? Can that thing mix drinks too?” “Of course.” K.U.R.T. replies as his mechanics fiddle with the locks, finally causing the door to open out into the tonight, granting access to the four on the outside. “Wooo! It’s time for a little CHAOS, boys!” “BAM Baby, that’s what I like! Edited February 27, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) We go to a pre taped video of Alix and Krista standing on the red carpet of the 77th Academy Awards in Hollywood, California. Due to the footage being shot incredibly early in the morning only a few gawkers mill about. Positioned behind the duo is a giant sized replica of the golden statue handed out to the film industry’s finest. Both tag team champs are wearing shimmering beaded halter style dresses that are quite appropriate for the glamourous setting of Oscars’ red carpet. Alix’s dress is black, while Krista’s is solid gold. Oh yeah, Terry Taylor is with them also. TERRY TAYLOR Tonight we will see the awarding of the 77th Academy Awards. But at Zero Hour in a red hot Target Center in a frosty Minneapolis, Minnesota, there will be another type of award handed out, The Anderson Cup. Standing at over two feet, The Anderson cup, like the man it is named after, symbolizes greatness. Official OAOAST Tag Team correspondent, Terry Taylor, here in Hollywood, California with the professional wrestling tag team champions, Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan, Chix Over Dix. ALIX I have a middle name?! TERRY That’s what my card says. ALIX Is it your player’s card, Terry? TERRY No, just an ordinary note card. Red lines. White background. Hard exterior. Soft interior. Looks like everybody else. But once you get to know it...man, it’ll rock your world and leave you wanting so much more. Just like me. Just like me. Alix, The Anderson Cup. Could you give us your thoughts on what Arn Anderson means to you? ALIX Arn Anderson molested me in the shower when I was ten years old. KRISTA & TERRY & THE GHOST OF CALVIN COOLIDGE ?.....!...?...!...?..?.!!! ALIX (chewing on bubble gum) No, wait...that was my Mom! Hi Mommy! Arn was like this dude who was a horse person. And he hung with a whole bunch of other dudes who were like horse people as well and they used to beat up Sting, because I guess they were like big U2 fans or something and didn’t like competition. But I don’t know. Sting ain’t so bad. I like I dream of rain. I dream of raaaaaaainaaaaaain. Good song. But yeah, whenever the horse peeps attacked someone they always said “Whoo” so like Arn Anderson or whoever is responsible for the borning of whoo. So we honor him on this day. I think. Can you repeat the question? Alix’s gum bubble pops in Terry’s face KRISTA Terry, allow me to save both your journalistic integrity and this little segment by telling both Black T and Too Coo...excuse me, GPX a story. In Japan there lived a samurai. Duh. As you may well know samurai are great and noble warriors. But this samurai wasn’t content with being a hero in the field of battle. He wanted to accumulate knowledge of things most men can’t even begin to conceive of. So he went to a Roshi. A Roshi is a Zen Master. The samurai asked the Roshi to tell him about heaven and hell. And The Roshi placed his hand on his chest and looked at the gladiator like he had a nose growing out of his forehead. He gazed at him with utter disgust. Deepening his authoritative voice, he asked the Samurai why he should teach such high concepts to someone so dingy, so repulsive, so lacking in any sort of sophistication and basic intelligence. He cruelly told the warrior he’d be better off talking to a tree frog. Now the Samurai, a proud man, is understandably outraged. His eyes burn with fury, a look of sheer anger etches itself across his face. Veins pop out of his forehead, muscles bulge and teeth grit, grinding themselves into dust. He tries to restrain an anger that can’t be restrained and he erupts with volcanic intensity. He unsheathes his sword and holds the blade that has slain so many souls, to the face of the Roshi. And the Roshi, presented with a madman who’s pride has been degraded into nothingness calmly says “That is hell”. The Samurai, realizing what he’s done, is overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and grief. The sword slips out of his trembling hands and he falls to the ground with it. He holds his hands together and weakly says “Forgive me, Master.” The Roshi, again without emotion, says “That is Heaven.” GPX, Black T, when one of you wins the Anderson Cup tonight you will know heaven. But come Anglemania you will raise your swords against us and we will show you the true meaning of hell. Alix yawns and adjusts the straps on her dress ALIX Hear that? KRISTA What? ALIX That’s the sound of whatever you just said going over everybody’s head! WOOOOSH as they say on the ‘net! KRISTA Hear that? ALIX What? KRISTA That’s the sound of me slapping you in the face. ALIX You didn’t sla... Krista slaps Alix on the cheek. Not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to piss her normally peppy partner off. Alix rubs her face before responding. ALIX Hear that? KRISTA What? ALIX (pointing to the life size award behind them) That’s the sound of me smashing this trophy over your head! TAYLOR NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Terry dives in front of the golden trophy like a secret service agent diving in front of a bullet aimed at the President. Taylor lands on the ground with a thick thud and we hear a rather disgusting cracking sound. ALIX Hey, what are you doing on the floor? TAYLOR Alix and Kris..every.....my...arm...my note card.....my....self respect. We go back to the live feed, to Michael Buffer in the ring. BUFFER The following- The legendary announcer is cut off by a squeal of feedback. Roadies are suddenly all over the stage beneath the AngleTron, setting up drums, guitars, microphones with unbelievable speed. The crowd murmurs, as suddenly the lights dim! A spotlight falls upon the equipment as the roadies hustle off. And out walks KISS~! The ageing rockers settle into their positions, and launch into "Calling Dr. Love"! 12 women dressed in skimpy nurses uniforms flood out from the back. They go into a dance routine in front of KISS, getting a big pop from the crowd. As the song reaches the midpoint, there's a series of explosions of golden pyro! The nurses turn towards the entrance, forming two rows. With a final blast of pyro, the Love Doctors appear! Holding up their HI-YAH tag titles, the Docs make their way through the two lines of girls, grinning and winking at them. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is for the HI-YAH International Tag Team Championship of the World! Introducing first the champions, from Chicago Illinoise, at a total combined weight of 456lbs, Dr. Max Anderson and Dr. Steven Pigley, the LUUUUUUURRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! COLE Quite the entrance from the Docs! COACH Ohmygod Kiss, I love Kiss! I'm gonna hang out with Ace and Gene after the show! CABOOSE Oh, about that, they called and left a message for you. COACH Wow, what was it? CABOOSE Fuck off. COACH *Whimpers* The Docs slide into the ring and dance as the songs reaches its climax - but suddenly the sound cuts, to be replaced by the decidedly weirder strains of "Hit Me Verdi One More Time", the bizarre mix that brings HELL'S HITMEN out! JINGUS puts a boot through the bass drum and snaps a guitar over his knee. Sadist grabs Gene Simmons and CHOKESLAMS him onto a cymbal! The rest of KISS flees as the Hitmen trashes their equipment. COLE Wow, I can't believe Gene just got chokeslammed! CABOOSE They'll do anything for money. COACH *through tears* Just like Cole! COLE Hey! COACH I'm sorry bro, it's the pain talking. BUFFER Aaand their opponents- eek! The Buff shrieks girlishly as he runs out of the ring, fleeing as the Hitmen climb in, bits of broken equipment draped over their massive frames. Our referee, the ever vigilant Nick Patrick, gets us underway. *DING DING DING* The Docs grin and high five. Max Anderson to start for them. JINGUS for the Hitmen. Max with the snake hips right in front of JINGUS. The Devilman swings, and misses. Anderson laughs and taunts JINGUS again. The monster decimates him with a massive lariat, spinning Max around and landing on the back of his head. JINGUS picks up the doc and sets for a Devilbomb! Dr. Pigley runs into the ring - and straight into Sadist, grabbing him for a chokeslam - but Pigley nails a lowblow to escape! Instead of attacking, however, he pauses to adjust his hair, and Sadist rapidly recovers to grab him again by the throat - and CHOKESLAMS over the ropes to the floor! JINGUS hits the Devilbomb! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* COLE Holy crap. Squash-arrific. BUFFER The winners of the match and NUUUUUU HIYAH Tag Team Champions - HELLS HITMEN! JINGUS and Sadist laugh as they snatch the title belts from Nick Patrick. The fans are in a genuinely (as opposed to bored) SHOCKED SILENCE as the Docs have been destroyed in a minute. Hitmen leave, as medics tend to Pigley, who isn't moving. COACH Well, the Docs had a big time entrance, a big time attitude, and it's all been wiped out in a few seconds of brutality. Your new champs - Hell's Hitmen. CABOOSE And totally what both teams deserved. Those phony Quacks have finally been exposed as the chumps they are. COLE Well, we expected that match to go a little longer, so while we wait for our next segment, I'm going to give a demonstration of my new home waxing kit. Caboose, I know you need your bikini line done. CABOOSE Quick! Somebody do something! Anything! COLE Let’s cut to the back, that’s doing something! Backstage, the lavish dressing room suite belonging to The Original Elite is shown, as Candie sits on a couch, her crutches nearby, while Zack, Dan Black, and Tony "The Body" are all getting ready for their respective matches tonight. DAN Good luck tonight, Zack. MALIBU Luck? Dude, please, like I need it? TONY Maybe not, Mr. Malibu, but you realize what this could do for the Elite, right? MALIBU Me beating Josie? What it could do for us? Of course. TONY Then to quote Al Davis: just win baby! Focus, focus, focus. Don't get too cocky out there. DAN YOU of all people are telling him that? The three share a brief chuckle before the mood gets serious again. DAN Look Zack, no offense, but your track record with women isn't the greatest. We know it's No Holds Barred, and that bitch might have something up her sleeve, so we've got your back if things get tough. MALIBU I appreciate that, but I'm sure I can handle Josie frickin' Baker. DAN I hope so too, because with you as GM, that puts us in the main position of power. I've been there. I've felt that power, and I'd love for us to have it back. All this b.s. with the GPX, Rodez, the girls, whoever...we can erase it all from the record books. We could take them out of the company with pink slips, although I'd personally prefer bloodshed. Life could get a lot harder for those who don't realize it was us who made this company what it is today. MALIBU A man after my own heart. DAN An ice heart, no less. TONY We're not worried, Zack. We're just here to reassure you. Do your thing. We'll be watching, and later tonight, the champagne will be flowing, the girls will be coming, because not only will the T.O.E. boys be celebrating tonight, but so will the White House and 10 Downing Street. The Original Elite is worldwide. MALIBU Watch out there Body, I might have to fire you for being drunk on the job. TONY Screw that, after tonight you're giving me a paid vacation, boss man. Candie just shakes her head at the "boy talk", as T.O.E. continue to make plans for what they're going to do once Zack Malibu claims the General Manager position later tonight, as our cameras fade out. And fade into the backstage entrance area … with Stephen Joseph arriving with workout bag strapped over his left shoulder. He’s on his cell phone, passing by the camera. Stephen Joseph Yes, let’s make sure that contract is in order for tonight. It’s time to strike at The Original Elite. Whoa! And nearly colliding with the General Manager of HeldDown, Josie Baker… Josie You’re late to your own PPV, Mr. Popick. Stephen Joseph Enjoy your present, dear. And as far as you’re concerned, it “Boss” tonight, sister. Josie What present? ::Fade to Black:: Edited February 27, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) BUFFER The following contest is a 6 person tag team match set for one fall. Making their way to the ring, to be introduced by their manager. Heart-Shaped Box hits to a chorus of boos as The Saints and Jim Cornette appear on the staged transformed into a multi-color dance floor. Underneath his Angel Wings outfit, Logan "Usher" Mann is dressed extravagantly in airbrushed tights that features paintings of music legends like James Brown, Elton John and Kurt Cobain. Synth, outfitted in Angel Wings and a Catholic Schoolgirl skirt, stops to bust a move on the dance floor on the top of the stage. James E. Cornette leads the 2000 New Zealand Music Awards Best New Artists to the ring, looking like he's ready to step onto a football field, not a wrestling ring with all the padding he has on; a mouth-piece, black wristbands and elbow pads. Cornette is also wearing the tightest red spandex longsleeve shirt, with black tights. He grabs the microphone from ring announcer Michael Buffer. Synth and Logan stand imposingly behind their Director of Wrestling Operations. CORNETTE Ladies and gentlemen, I have the pleasure of introducing the greatest rock 'n' wrestling tag team of all time. All the way from Sin City courtesy of Arista Records in association with Jim Cornette Enterprises... With a smile on his face, Jim Cornette sticks the mic over his shoulder. SYNTH Always late, never on time, but always looking F-I-N-E. Fine. CORNETTE ...SYNTH ESIZER AND LOGAN "USHER" MANN....THE SAIIIIIINTTTS! Cornette returns the microphone to Michael Buffer but "accidently" drops it. He hops up on the second turnbuckle. BUFFER And their manager, Mr. Jim Cornette! The Saints raise their arms up and drop to one knee for their manager, who proudly waves his heart-shaped tennis racket in the air. COLE Jim Cornette is so obsessed with defeating his old team, I think he may be working The Saints too hard. COACH Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. Of course James E. is obsessed with defeating his old team, that's every athletic's goal -- defeat your old team to show them you're better. Shaq did it to Kobe. Montana did it to the 49ers. And tonight Jimmy Cornette is gonna do it to the NNMX. CABOOSE For every stupid thing The Coach says or does, he gives you a good point. The Saints have a rep for losing focus before big matches, remember when they contracted crabs after sleeping with some groupies days before their first OAOAST PPV? They got crushed. Cornette, the genius that he is, has kept Synth and Logan focused on tonight's match. That's why I'm picking them to win. The opening notes of Chase drowns out Heart-Shaped Box, sending the crowd into a frenzy. The combination of fantastic double-team maneuvers, a catchy theme song, and most importantly, no longer under the management of James E. Cornette, has made Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned one of the most popular tag teams in the OAOAST. BUFFER And their opponents. Weighing 465 pounds, "Sarcastic" Simon and "Narcissistic" Ned, THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned wait for their tag team partner onstage. The crowd POPS as Faith No More's Another Bloody Murder kicks up. The OAOAST Women's Champion appears onstage with the championship draped over her shoulder. Narcissistic Ned goes for a hug but Holly brushes him away and leads the pack to the ring. Narcissistic Ned walking besides her like they're together. COACH (singing) Is this love that I'm feeling? COLE I don't see how because Holly isn't doing jack. CABOOSE Of course she isn't. She's doing Ned. COLE You know what I mean. All the participants stand in their respective corners. Holly removes her leather jacket, revealing a white tank top underneath a yellow mesh shirt, and places it on the apron for the ring attendent to come get. The Saints and New New Midnight Express do the same: placing their Wings and silvery robes respectively on the apron. Holly breaks away from her corner and chases Jim Cornette around the ring. The New New Midnight Express and referee Nick Patrick having to restrain Holly, Narcissistic Ned perhaps trying to comp a feel in the process. Cornette hides behind The Saints acting all brave with his tennis racket. COLE Come on, Cornette. You talked a big game, now go in there and show the world what you got. CABOOSE Jim Cornette is one of the greatest minds professional wrestling has ever seen. He'll get inside the ring when the time is right. COACH Translation: When somebody is down. CABOOSE Let the muscle do the fighting, and the brain do the thinking. Logan Mann, Jim Cornette, Narcissistic Ned and Holly-Wood all exit, leaving Sarcastic Simon Singleton and Synth Esizer alone in the ring. They will start. Both men huddle with their teammates one last time in their corners. * DING DING DING * COLE The bell rings and we're officially underway. Synth getting some last minute advice from Jim Cornette and Logan "Usher" Mann before walking up to Sarcastic Simon and telling to tag out because he "wants that mother right there," referring to Narcissistic Ned Blanchard, the man who injuried Synth's arm two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! with Jim Cornette's loaded... CABOOSE Alledgelly. COLE (CONT'D) ... tennis racket. We understand he has a fractured bone in the arm, but it's something he can wrestle in, albeit in pain, as long as he wears a brace. And he is. COACH You know, I heard a rumor that there's a horseshoe in the racket. Seriously. I heard its kept in place by chains inside the casing. Hey, whatever. You don't have to take my word for it. CABOOSE Hi, I'm Caboose from the OAOAST. And I'm here to tell you about a new book I just read called "Shut the Hell Up, Coachman!" I don't think the racket's loaded at all. COLE (sarcastically) Yeah. And I'm really gay. CABOOSE Old news. COACH OWNED! Sarcastic Simon asks the fans if he should tag Ned. They overwhelming vote yes. Tag Made. Narcissistic Ned slingshots over the top rope and lands in the ring on his feet. He does a couple of quick leg stretches. Not to be overshadowed, Synth struts to a netural corner and moonwalks back to Saints Central (what The Saints refer their corner as), looking at the crowd for some support. All he gets is a loud "SYNTH SUCKS" chant. Synth scoffs and says to himself: "They love me." Now looking to the crowd: "Oh, yeah. You love me." Amazingly, the crowd manages to intensifiy the "SYNTH SUCKS" chants. Jim Cornette covers Synth's ears with his hands. The opening few minutes of the match has turned into a game of showmanship, as Narcissistic Ned stutter struts (struts a few steps and stops before struting another couple of steps) near his corner, drawing a big pop from the crowd. The Synthmeister slaps and kicks the ropes in frustration. He lunges at Narcissistic Ned who moves out of the way and sends Synth shoulderfirst into the RINGPOST, where he becomes lodged between the top and middle turnbuckles. Narcissistic Ned pulls up Synth's skirt and takes a few steps back, measuring his ass and kicking it with the toe of the boot. Logan Mann and Jim Cornette go ballistic because referee Nick Patrick didn't warn Blanchard about kicking with the toe, not the flat of the boot. As Patrick walks over to Saints Central, Sarcastic Simon and Holly-Wood join Narcissistic Ned in the ring and take turns kicking Synth in the BUTT. The Synthmeister whines and flaps his arms as he's kicked from behind. Logan tires to help his partner in the ring, but the threesome of the New New Midnight Express and Holly-Wood quickly overwhelm him. Logan's Irish whipped to the ropes. DOUBLE FLAPJACK by the NNMX. They fire the Women's champ to the ropes and HIPTOSS her onto Mann! Logan rolls out of the ring, while Holly gets up and signals for Jim Cornette to come get him some. Cornette steps halfway through the ropes and sees Holly popping her knuckles like a teenager pops a zit. He backs out and climbs down the ring steps to the floor, exchanging a few words with ringside hecklers. The crowd pops as Narcissistic Ned tags HOLLY-WOOD...by KISSING her on the LIPS! COLE Well, that was a unique tag. CABOOSE I'd say. I doubt you'll see that become a regular way to tag your partner in. COACH I thought I saw a little tongue action. If there's one thing to love the French for, it the French kiss. CABOOSE Wee wee. Holly is noticeably pissed. She gives a smiling Narcissistic Ned a cold hard stare as she enters the ring. Unfortunately for Synth, he's the one who takes the wrath of Holly's rage. The Women's champ frees Synth from the top and middle turnbuckles just so she can ram him back into the ringpost repeatedly! She pulls him out and backs him against the corner, where she delivers a punishing combination of forearms, kicks and knife edge chops. You can tell she's really putting some force behind these blows. And she should be, as Holly finally is able to get some payback on the man who outside of Jim Cornette has treated her poorly. A rattled Synthmeister is sent to the opposite corner across the ring. Holly hits the near-side ropes and nails Synth with a FLYING FOREARM. The hated Synth becomes the envy of every male -- and some females -- as Holly presses her body on his chest and hooks the leg. 1... 2... KICKOUT! Holly brings Synth back to a vertical base and BODYSLAMS him! A large "HOLLY" chants engulfs the sold out Target Center. Holly rushes Saints Central and DECKS Jim Cornette with a forearm smash, the arena going up in a mass cheer. CABOOSE What's wrong with her? Cornette did nothing wrong. All he's guilty of is standing on the apron, minding his own business. COLE And what about all the grief he gave Holly? He ran her out so he could gain control of all The Saints financials. CABOOSE Corny is unfairly targeted by the media. He turns losers into winners. Look at what he did for Simon and Ned. They were nothing until they signed with J.C.E. They won the OAOAST Tag Team championship within months of their arrival. Ever since they left they haven't done a damn thing. COLE And what has James E. done for The Saints? CABOOSE He turned him into winners. That's what. They were directionless under Holly. Once they autographed papers from J.C.E. they've been on a roll. People view them as a threat now. Synth charges Holly-Wood from behind with his hands locked together, but she moves out of the way and lets him run sternum-first into his corner. Synth ricochets off the turnbuckles and right into a beautiful (in more ways than one) armdrag takedown into an armbar. Synth shrieks as the armbar is applied on the arm that is protected by a brace. Holly tries to keep herself from smiling, as she's obviously taking great delight in punishing Synth. Holly grinds the knee against Synth's forearm as she wrenches back on the arm. She takes Synth to her corner and tags Narcissistic Ned back in by SLAPPING him across the face! COLE Obviously that's for him kissing her without consent. Although I don't think she would of consented anyway. COACH It's nothing, really. Just a good old fashion game of hard-to-get. It happened to The Coach once. CABOOSE Did you get the girl? COACH No, but I got her brother's fist in my face. Apparently I her advances wrong. She justed wanted to be "friends." Well, let me tell ya, when you look as good as The Coach, you don't need friends because there's plently of women out there lookin' for a good time. COLE It should be noted that Logan Mann had been the most vocal support of Holly's in J.C.E. But Jim Cornette and Synth Esizer, Logan's tag team partner and band member, constantly overruled him in team matters. I truly believe if he had his way, Holly would be with The Saints, not Jim Cornette. CABOOSE There you go starting trouble again. Unlike Narcissistic Ned, who generally loves Holly, Logan is kissing her ass because he wants to get inside her pants. You know how those rockstars are -- all about the nookie. Blanchard smirks as he comes in and backs against the ropes, using his hands to pull himself up on the second turnbuckle. He comes down on the right hand Holly has extended with a double axe-handle. Narcissistic Ned with the arm ringer. Synth flips over and kips up, legscissoring the lower body of Blanchard and rolling him on his back. Nick Patrick dives over both men to make the count. 1... 2... KICKOUT! TWOOOOO! The Synthmeiser with a snapmare takedown into a reverse chinlock, the knee being drilled against the spine of the back while the neck is wrenched. Narcissistic Ned tries powering up but Synth rams the knee into the back, sending Blanchard back down. Synth drops the elbow on the bridge of the nose twice in a row, then across the forehead, all while screaming "you've been a bad, bad boy." Jim Cornette and Logan are celebrating the dominace being displayed in the ring, on the apron. COLE Synth showing some wrestling skills in the outset of this match. CABOOSE You sound surprised by that. Why do you think they're called wrestlers? COLE Not every wrestler can wrestle. Take Dan Black for example. He can wrestle. Then take somebody like The Sadist who is more of a brawler. Narcissistic Ned back to a vertical base. Blanchard frees himself with a couple of elbows to the ribcage. Synth immediately puts a stop to any momentum Narcissistic Ned has gathered by raking the eyes. Synth rocks Blanchard against the ropes with left-handed knife edge chops. He grabs Blanchard's arm and whips him to the ropes. Narcissistic Ned leapfrogs over a doubled over Synth and catches him back off the ropes with a SPINNING HEEL KICK. Narcissistic Ned takes a quick breather lying on the mat and then crawls on his knees to his corner. Jim Cornette waddles in and shoves Sarcastic Simon and gingerly SLAPS Holly. Nick Patrick and Sarcastic Simon must restrain the OAOAST Women's champion. Sounding like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz, Cornette hides behind the referee, waving his fists, asking Sarcastic Simon and Holly to "put 'em up." COLE Can you believe this guy? The great thing about Cornette is discounting a majority of what he tells you because 90% of the time he's blowing hot air. CABOOSE But that means he's right 10% of the time. That's still pretty good. Miss Celo was only right 1% of the time. With the referee occupied, The Saints double-team Narcissistic Ned in the ring. DOUBLE SUPLEX. By the time Nick Patrick gets Sarcastic Simon and Holly-Wood out of the ring, it's too late. Not only is the damage done, but Logan Mann is standing on the apron with Jim Cornette. Both men acting calm. The lead vocalist of The Saints, Logan "Usher" Mann is tagged in. He somersaults into the ring. COACH I guess he thinks he'll get bonus points for entrance, although in all fairness, The Saints had a helluva entrance with the multi-color dance floor. It took me back to the days of Saturday Night Fever. Where the King was still dead and the drugs were running rampant. COLE That was the '80s. Although the King was still dead. Ironically, as the guys talk about the King, a guy dressed like Elvis walks past the fans in the front row with nachos in one hand, beer in the other. Logan hoists Blanchard onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up to the second rope. Mann leaps onto Blanchard's shoulders and brings him back down with a HURRICARANA! On his knees, Mann showboats to the crowd and his corner. Synth and Cornette yell for him to cover Ned. Logan crawls on his knees and covers Blanchard. CABOOSE See? That right there is what separates The Saints from the New New Midnight Express. The Saints listen to the advice of their manager. COACH Director of Wrestling Operations. CABOOSE Did I give you permission to speak? COACH Sir, no, sir! CABOOSE Then shut up. 1... 2... Sarcastic Simon pulls him off. Singleton grabs Mann by the hair and decks him with a big right hand. Jim Cornette screams for Nick Patrick to do something while he, himself, comes in and lands a couple of blows on Narcissistic Ned. Logan scoopes Blanchard up and slams him near a netural corner. Mann climbs up the turnbuckles, his back facing Narcissistic Ned. "It's over," he shouts as MOONSAULTS into the heavens and comes crashing back down to earth on nothing but CANVAS! Narcissistic Ned rolls out of the way. In a fetal position, Logan kicks his feet on the mat, clutching his stomach in pain. Narcissistic Ned gets on one knee and uses the ropes to drag himself back to his corner. Synth enters the ring and grabs Blanchard's leg. Ned rises to his feet and kicks Synth in the back of the head, flipping him into the air. COLE Can Narcissistic Ned make the tag? After taking a beating for the last few minutes, he's finally got a chance to make the tag after Logan missed a moonsault and hitting Synth with an enzugri. Narcissistic Ned somersaults to his corner and tags in HOLLY-WOOD, as Logan tags in JIM CORNETTE. The crowd rise to their feet because this is the showdown they've been waiting for. Holly licks her hands and rubs them together, a sinister yet sexy grin on her face. Meanwhile, on the apron, Jim Cornette looks like he's seen a ghost. His face becoming pale in front of our very eyes. He doesn't want to step into the ring. Nick Patrick tells Cornette to come in or he'll start counting him out. Synth and Logan huddle with James E. on the apron, massaging his shoulders and giving him words of encouragment. Logan has a huge smile on his face. Whether it's because he belives in Jim Cornette or because he knows Holly is going to kick his ass is unclear. Cornette enters the ring and immediately is psych out by Holly who teased she was going to charge him as he entered the ring, causing Corny to hide between the ropes. The crowd starts a "JAMIE" chant, drawing a chuckle from Michael Cole. Cornette waddles around the ring, covering his ears. CABOOSE That isn't funny. Jim Cornette slaps his biceps and pulls up his pants as he walks up to the OAOAST Women's champion. "I came here to fight, you two-timing, no-good-for-nothing, gold-digging tramp," he says. Holly is all like, "bring it, bitch." Collar-and-elbow tie-up. Neither person giving an inch. Each backing one another against the ropes. They jockey back to the center of the ring where they break. "I see that isn't going to work, honey," Cornette tells Holly, "so let's try a little TEST OF STRENGH!" Holly agress. COACH A test of strengh? I haven't seen one of these in years. CABOOSE We're being broadcasted around the world, Coach. I'm sure some guy on the Internet will find that we've probably called a match were one was used. We further kick it old school as Jim Cornette and Holly-Wood GRECO ROMAN KNUCKLELOCK. The crowd boos in unison as Cornette KNEES Holly in her...womanhood to gain the upper hand. As Holly drops to her knees, Cornette looks over to his corner with a huge smile on his face. The Saints giving him a thumbs up sign. Corny looks over to the New New Midnight Express corner and taunts them with a kissy face. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned give a THUMBS DOWN. Cornette tilts his head sideways, befuddled. He looks down. Repeated HEADBUTTS TO THE GROIN! Cornette breaks the knucklelock and wobbles around the ring holding his sack like a pregnant women who just got hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. RUNNING CLOTHESLINE by Holly. Cornette goes back down with another. The Women's champ front facelock and lifts Corny up. STANDING VERTICAL SUPLEX. Holly floats over the top and hooks Cornette's legs, rolling him on his stomach, grinding the knee across the back of the neck for that elevated Boston Crab that she calls the HOLLYWOOD GROOVE (Liontamer). COACH How much can Cornette take? Not only is his back in pain, but so is his neck and legs, with the way Holly has them bent. Cornette's knee problems are no secret in the wrestling world. Cornette screams like a girl. Holly has the hold tightly locked on. Nick Patrick asks Jim Cornette if he wants to quit. He's just about to tap out when he sees Synth coming up from behind. Many of the ringside jump up and down trying to grab the attention of Holly to warn her about impending doom. Synth with BIG BOOT to the back of the head. Narcissistic Ned comes in and tackles Synth out of the ring. Sarcastic Simon meets Logan in the ring. The two exchange blows, with Mann coming out on top. The southpaw rocks Sarcastic Simon with left hands. Singleton fights back with big right hands straight from Charleston, South Carolina. Singleton misses with a roundhouse right. Logan lifts Sarcastic Simon up and drops him on his knee for an ATOMIC DROP. The impact sends Singleton falling into the ropes and bounces him right back off and straight into a wicked LEFT HOOK causing Sarcastic Simon to 360. Mann kicks Singleton out of the ring. COLE All hell has broken loose out here. Cornette and Holly are down in the ring. Holly may have a concussion from that brutal kick to the back of the head. I don't even remember who's the legal man, or people. Logan stands over Holly, showing some concern. Jim Cornette, on his BUTT slumping against the ropes, tells Logan to DDT, a/k/a PERCUSSION, Holly. Logan reluctantly agrees. He's picking up dead weight at this point, but Cornette wants to humiliate Holly before pinning her. Holly placed in the front facelock position. Mann double checks with Cornette to see if he's sure he wants to go through with this. Cornette is becoming angry with Mann disobeying his orders, telling him the last person (Holly) to do so got fired. Logan, the New Yorker in him, fires back at Cornette. James E. cannot believe Mann is talking back to him. RODEO DRIVER (Twisting fisherman's suplex)! The crowd EXPLODES! COLE She was playing possum! She was playing possum! You go, girlfriend! Holly lets go of the bridging suplex because Logan isn't the legal man -- no pun intended. She kicks Logan out of the ring just like he kicked Sarcastic Simon out minutes ago. Everybody is caught by surprise, including Jim Cornette. Holly SPEARS Jim Cornette! She jumps on top of him and slams his head into the mat, biting his forehead. On the outside, Synth throws Narcissistic Ned into the security railing. He slides into the ring and kicks Holly in the side of the head. Cornette tells him to go for PERCUSSION (DDT). Unlike Logan, Synth doesn't think twice about it, front facelocking Holly and taunting the crowd by twirling his index finger in the air. BOOM! Narcissistic Ned SUPERKICKS Synth out of his boots, literally. He goes to place Holly on top of Synth but sees Cornette crawling to the corner to grab the TENNIS RACKET. Narcissistic Ned confronts Jim Cornette. Cornette hides the racket behind his back and signals he'd cross his heart, hope to die, stick a neddle in his eye before using the racket on him. Corny takes a few steps back and bumps into Sarcastic Simon, who RIPS the racket out of Cornette's hand. COLE How does it feel to be powerless, James E.? Jim Cornette is now surrounded by the New New Midnight Express AND Holly-Wood. Cornette drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness, offering Holly back her own job. She tells him to stuff it. Sarcastic Simon tosses the racket to Narcissistic Ned and holds Cornette up. Cornette pleds one final time for mercy. But the team of the NNMX and Holly-Wood aren't having none of that. Nick Patrick tells Blanchard he'll have to DQ them if he uses the racket. That doesn't stop Narcissistic Ned, who taps the racket a couple of times on the canvas and cocks it back and then BLA... No, Holly asks if SHE can nail Cornette with the racket. Narcissistic Ned isn't too sure, so he asks the fans for their help. The sold out crowd cheer and whistle. Narcissistic Ned decides that's go enough for him and says "Here you go, honey bunny." BOOM! JOEY STYLES OH MY GOD! * DING DING DING DING * A stunned silence fills the arena. Narcissistic Ned just POPPED HOLLY'S SKULL with the TENNIS RACKET. Jim Cornette, Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned embrace, laughing hysterically. COLE DAMN YOU! WHY?! CABOOSE Yes! I knew it. LOGAN MANN jumps back into the ring and TACKLES Blanchard to the ground, hammering him with left hands. Jim Cornette drills Mann from behind, as usual, with the racket. The reunited New New Midnight Express and James E. Cornette proceed to brutalize Logan. The down feeling currently sweeping the arena is replaced by an ERUPTION of CHEERS as SYNTH ESIZER re-enters the squared circle. But Jim Cornette blasts him in the back with the racket as he slides into the ring. Sarcastic Simon stomps on Synth and whips him to the ropes, where Narcissistic Ned and Sarcastic Simon DOUBLE FLAPJACK Synth to the canvas. Narcissistic Ned hits Synth with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX as Sarcastic Simon climbs to the top rope. Simon asks Ned to roll Synth on his stomach. With Cornette holding onto the legs of Synth, Ned holds out Synth's right arm. Sarcastic Simon comes off the top with a FLYING KNEEDROP to the fractured arm. Synth rolls around in pain. But they're not done yet. Ned and Corny continue to hold Synth so Simon can brutalize the right arm with the tennis racket. A sickening thud echos throughout the Target Center with every blow. EMTs and OAOAST officials rush out from the back. Various agents escort a very proud Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express to the back. COLE This is disgusting. ANGLEMANIA IV Sunday, March 27 We return to a shot of two lockers: one hangs a trenchcoat, the other a dazzling robe covered in diamonds and rhinestones, the diamond-embroidered "Tony Brannigan" Hollywood Walk of Fame star logo sparkling. BLACK T, the former OAOAST World and HI-YAH International tag team champions, are seated on steel folding chairs. Shirtless and dressed in their ring attire, both men are lacing up their boots. BLACK Tonight 4 men in the prime of their careers will step foot inside that ring for the opportunity to wrestle for the biggest prize in our field, the World tag team championship, at the biggest event of the year, AngleMania. Our opponents tonight are two men we know quite well -- the Global Party XChange, the most popular tag team in OAOAST history. They won their conference, we won ours. Now we're set to meet in the Anderson Cup Finals. The prize: OAOAST tag team title match at AngleMania. The price: Our bodies. You see, these aren't your ordinary championship belts. Tony and I have spent the last 9 months breathing the tag team titles. They are our oxygen. They are everything we live for. They're the reason why we put our bodies through hell night in and night out, because being the tag team champions means you are the best your field has to offer. It's the very reason Drek Stone is the man when it comes to singles competition, because he holds the OAOAST World heavyweight championship. I've said it before: You take our titles, we'll take your lives. We've already taken down two teams, all that stands in our way to regaining what is rightfully ours is the Global Party XChange. Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Spezia, you took something that belongs to us. Once we're through with GPX, we're coming back for our gold. TONY Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson are like a couple of ex-girlfriends you keep running into. No matter how hard you try to avoid one another, you can't help not to. When it comes to the GPX, like any relationship, we've had our ups and our downs. Our ups: We've defeated you two-times, both times ending your goal of capturing the tag team championship. HELDDOWN~! April 29, 2004 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment T-Bod and Dan pick Johnny up, his face covered in blood. Combined Rock Bottom-Out of Body Experience (Spinebuster). The Black Body Bag. CABOOSE 3B! 3B! Dan covers. ONE. TWO. THREE. * DING DING DING * BUFFER The winners of the match….and NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions- Dan Black and T.Bod, BLACK T! Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T.Bod, grinning, does the same. SCHOOL'S OUT: CLASS DISMISSED May 23, 2004 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment Johnny "Jam" Jackson hits T-Bod with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE, nearly taking his head off in the process. JJ looks at the crowd, asking "One more?" The crowd is behind him every step of the way... Tony "The Body" catches Johnny's arm mid-air and applies the HEART OF ICE (Crippler Crossface). COACH Tony is using one of Dan's finishers. CABOOSE Dan must've taught him that. That's what teamwork is all about Coach! Everybody knows about the extensive training sessions Dan & Tony go through. COACH Scotty & Dan are the legal men. Scotty jumps from the apron to the top rope, facing the crowd, then motions to the heavens before twisting midair to face the ring... The crowd holds their collective breaths... The Heart of Ice is stilled applied on Johnny. (Tony) doesn't know Scotty is getting ready to go on an air-raid. T-Bod tugs JJ's head back trying to add more pressure to the hold, but doing so allows Scotty a clear shot at executing...STATIC SHOCK~! COACH Whoa, baby! CABOOSE Coach!? COACH What? CABOOSE Coach!? COACH What!? CABOOSE Look at Dan. Dan reenters the ring, spins Scotty around...kick to the midsection, BLACKOUT (Stone Cold Stunner). 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * BUFFER The winners of the match, and still OAOAST tag team champions of the world, Dan Black, T-Bod...Black T! TONY And our downs... HELDDOWN~! August 5, 2004 Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment T-Bod with the RUDE AWAKENING on Scotty... BILL WATTS Wh-What's Johnny doin'? He's setting up the ladder...outside, Jim. J.R. What in the world is he doing. Oh God! WATTS He's climbing the ladder. He's gonna jump off the ladder into the ring. T-Bod sees what Johnny's doing, and throws a chair at him! My God, the brutality of it. J.R. Strike 3. You're out! Johnny's slumped over the top rung. T-Bod's going to meet him. Good Lord, no! He's gonna suplex him from the ladder to the floor. WATTS Oh, no, he can't. He wouldn't. J.R. Hell, yes, he would. Johnny's fighting it off. He has his leg wrapped around a rung. T-Bod's trying to power Jacko up. Thumb -- Johnny 'Jam' Jackson thumbed T-Bod. The crowd's counting along as JJ slams T-Bod's head on ladder. No. No! SUPERPLEX FROM THE LADDER TO THE RING~! The ring COLLASPES! "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" The maneuver was so devestating the impact caused Johnny to float on top of T-Bod. Quick shot of (the New New Midnight Express, Hell's Hitmen and The Saints) watching in awe backstage. J.R. Everybody's down. Johnny superplexed T-Bod from the ladder all the way into the ring, landing on that fallen rope/turnbuckle pad, and lemme tell you, folks -- yeah, it's padded, but falling from that distance onto something that isn't flat hurts. 1... 2... 3! J.R. Noooooooo! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, history has been made. You winners, and new World tag team champions, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson -- the Global Party XChange! BALLOONS & CONFETTI fall from the ceiling, FIREWORKS go off everywhere... a little of everything is happening inside the arena. The camera pans around catching the reaction of the fans: laughter, tears, sighs of relief. TONY Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Black, but 2 is greater than 1, is it not? BLACK I do believe you're correct, Mr. T. TONY Two! That's the number of times Black T have defeated you, Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson. Two-times! Later on tonight, while you're crying on the training bras of your girlfriends, me and Dan will be out partying until the wee hours of the morning with the finest women Minnesota has to offer. Because tonight there will be pain. BLACK Lots of pain. TONY There will be suffering. BLACK Plenty of suffering. TONY And it'll all be worth it when we walk out of the Target Center with a first-class ticket to AngleMania IV and a shot at the World Tag Team Championship. GPX, tonight you will bow down to the greatest tag team in OAOAST history one more time! Black T flash the 3-B hand gesture. CUT TO: Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage in the action zone with The Global Party Exchange! The fans roar at the sight of one of their favorite units. Johnny’s decked out in Sean John jeans, while Scotty sports the latest Vokal track suit. OKERLUND Johnny Jackson, Scotty Static, in just moments you will face your longtime rivals Black T in the finals of the Anderson Cup to see who will advance to Anglemania to face Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles. You and Black T seem to be eternally linked. Held so close together... Johnny puts his hand, fingers covered in gaudy gold rings, up to stop Gene. JOHNNY Cousin, we surpassed Black T long ago. We left them playa fakers choking in a cloud of our million dollar dust. I look in the rear view mirror of my Mercedes and I can’t even see those wankstas. We be rolling on dubs but they be riding in Power Wheels. SCOTTY No dizzle. And it ain’t just that stiff-ass Brit, Zap Brannigan and Kif who we left behind. It’s The Saints, The New New Midnight Express, Hell’s Hitmen, The Love Doctors, Chicks Over Dicks. Everbody. The only reason they keep them teams around is cuz you need more then one team to make a division. Yo, let’s face it, when tag team wrestling is on the mind, then GPX is the only thing that’s on the mind. The OAOAST tag team scene was built on our name. Show some respect, Gene. GENE Oh, I am down with it, my pimps. Johnny nods, his ugly gold necklace, bouncing against his bare chest. JOHNNY Right on. We tore the division up. We was running over pretenders who thought they was contenders. The Anderson Cup? Bogus. When they made that trophy, they made with our name engraved on the front, because ain’t no other team gonna win it. Ain’t no other team can win it. Look around, cousin! No team in the tournament is in our league. We rottweilers, the rest of them is poodles! Now we off our leash! SCOTTY Man, I ain’t trying to disrespect nobody, but this ain’t nothing but a big ass four week waste of time. They shoulda just awarded us the trophy and the Anglemania title shot and saved us some trouble on the double. For rizzzle. JOHNNY Save Black T, The Love Doctors and The Saints some embarrassment to. Hell, could’ve saved us the trip to Minnesota. No offense or nothing, but this place ain’t exactly on Orbitz’s list of hot spots to hit. A small but audible collection of boos can be heard from the arena. SCOTTY (covering up for Johnny) But we love The Twins! The crowd cheers JOHNNY Bambi and Amber? SCOTTY Naw, the baseball team. JOHNNY Aw, yeah...right. Go Twins. Mean Gene, peace out. We got tag team titles to win. GENE Um, this match isn’t for the tag team titles. JOHNNY It might as well be, cousin. Cuz, they ain’t no way we losing to Alix and Krista. Unless what we losing is our clothes. SCOTTY Good one, Jam. JOHNNY It's always a good one when it comes from the mouth of the Jam. Johnny and Scotty walk off. GENE The Global Party Xchange, fans. Edited February 28, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) The screen fades to black, with a faint thumping noise in the background. Coming in March... *thump thump* Your heart races. *thump thump* Your pulse quickens. *thump thump* Your adrenaline flows. *thump thump* It is truly.... *thump thump* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP LETHAL. Footage airs of Drek dropping AJ on the chair, Hoff hittng Stevens with Future Shock off the cage wall, and Axel tossing Zack Malibu to win the Lethal Rumble. OAOAST ANGLEPALOOZA 2005 COMING TO DVD THIS MARCH The shot switches to a look at Drek Stone, our OAOAST Champion, walking down a hallway in the back. The arena boos the image of the man who will defend the title against their hometown favorite, Hoff. Drek carries the World Title belt proudly on his shoulder as he turns a corner, entering a doorway. The camera follows him in, revealing the office of the HeldDown GM, Josie Baker! DREK This better be important. I have a match tonight, and unless I missed a memo, so do you, boss. Man, it's gonna feel great not to have to call you that next week. Josie looks at Drek with a perturbed expression. JOSIE Drek, have a seat. The champion stands, defiant, setting his jaw. JOSIE Fine, Drek. Have it your way. I've got something to tell you about tonight. Drek rolls his eyes, and his expression immediately shifts to one of contempt. DREK Wait, wait. Let me guess, Josie. You're shafting me out of the main event spot, AGAIN. Unbelievable! Who is it for this time, you? You punk. Josie's eyes narrow. JOSIE Save it, Drek. You're in the main event tonight. This is the match the fans are dying to see. Drek stops, looking a little taken aback by the statement for a brief moment, before returning to his usual confident state. DREK Well, I'm glad to see that you can recognize greatness. JOSIE I certainly can. But Drek, you have to realize where we are. Minneapolis, Minnesota...home of the man you're defending against, Hoff. Drek sneers. DREK So I've heard. What's it to me? JOSIE Well, to get these fans excited, I've made the decision to have Hoff enter second tonight. DREK Well...wait, enter....but....BUT I'M THE CHAMPION!! JOSIE And a fine one, Drek. Really. But tonight is all about Hoff. Sorry, bub, but you've got to take a backseat tonight. Drek fumes. DREK Fine, Josie. Once again, I, Drek Stone, the greatest OAOAST Champion in history, will take a backseat to someone less deserving. Because frankly, it doesn't matter when I come in; it just matters who's music is playing at the end of the show. Tonight, like it or not, will be my night. Drek shakes his head at Josie. DREK Anything else? JOSIE No. Go. Drek takes a step back, sneering again at Josie. DREK I hope Malibu beats you senseless. Drek turns, and exits the office. *cut back to Sofa Central* COLE And now fans, coming up next is a match that has been brewing since before Anglepalooza. It is a good old-fashioned “Grudge Match”. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican makes his return to singles action on OAOAST pay-per-view, taking on the self-proclaimed “Champion Of Champions” Panther. The Zero Hour logo flashes on the screen. Close-ups of both P.R. and Panther then follow it. The crowd pops loudly as the match-up graphic for PR/Panther appears on screen. “All My Life” by The Foo Fighters plays in the background as the crowd eagerly awaits the Grudge Match coming up. COACH Aw yeah. This is going to be one hell of a match! Tha Puerto Rican and Panther, two phenomenal athletes, are going to go one-on-one at the Target Center in just a few minutes. I cannot wait to see these two lock up. These two have put on amazing matches in the past separately, so I can only imagine what will happen when they battle each other. CABOOSE I am stoked for this match. It is time for Panther to be punished for what he’s done to Tha Puerto Rican these past few weeks. Panther has annoyed PRL way too much, and now it’s time for PRL squash that little pest. COACH I cannot wait for this match Boo-Boo. PRL and Panther are going to tear each other apart. These two guys HATE each other so damn much, so that should mean we get one hell of an entertaining match coming up next. It’s going to be— COLE (hearing something over his headset) Hey. Hey…hey guys. Apparently the PR/Panther match has already started. COACH Wait. What? What do you mean by that? COLE I am told that Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are having a fight backstage right now as we speak. CABOOSE Ha. Ha. PRL sneak attacked Panther! What a great idea! COLE No, I am told that Panther came over to PR when he was just about to walk to the entrance and attacked him. CABOOSE That sneaky little bastard! COACH But Caboose, you just said— CABOOSE Panther should be arrested! How dare he attacked P.R. backstage! The only place he is allowed to come in physical contact with Tha Puerto Rican is in the ring, not backstage! The police should come and arrest his candy ass. What an asshole. COLE The brawl is still going on backstage. And I’m told we now have cameras in position backstage ready to film this fight. COACH Alright! I can’t wait! This is going to be so cool! CABOOSE What are we waiting for? Where’s that damn cameraman? Let’s go to the backstage area right now! COLE Hold on. Hold on. Yes. Okay, okay. I’m now told we can go backstage right…. Now! The camera cuts backstage, where Panther and P.R.L. are in the process of brawling. The crowd cheers while “The Corporate Champ” is getting his ass kicked by “The Champ Of Champs”. Panther picks up Tha Puerto Rican and whips him into a table. P.R. clutches his back, as Panther charges towards P.R. and knees him in the face. Stephen Joseph Popick has been laid out on the floor, as is several security guards and OAOAST personnel. Panther lays into Tha Puerto Rican with lefts and rights and then lifts him up, dropping him on the edge of the table. The crowd is cheering Panther on. COLE And it looks like Panther has the advantage early on in this match. COACH What match? The bell hasn’t even rung yet, but PR and Panther are tearing into each other. CABOOSE It doesn’t help that Panther attacked PRL backstage, thereby gaining the advantage. If P.R. and Panther took each other on in the ring, P.R. would be in control right now! COLE There is obviously no love lost between these two. Panther is still pissed that P.R. eliminated him from the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza, and P.R. is still pissed that Panther caused PRL to be eliminated by Crystal at the Lethal Rumble. COACH And the bad blood from Anglepalooza has spilled over into Zero Hour tonight! COLE We’ve seen these two use everything they can. They’ve used chairs and their own fists. This has been a very heated feud happening between these two in the past month. And hopefully, tonight this gets settled once and for all. Panther and P.R. are both standing up and engage in a slugfest. Neither guy has the advantage. Both guys are throwing fists at each other with some connecting, and some not. The two fierce rivals are moving closer and closer to the entrance, while continuing brawling. COLE And now finally, it appears that P.R. and Panther are going to be making their way to the ring! Panther grabs P.R.’s head, but Tha Puerto Rican scratches Panther’s eyes. He then grabs Panther’s head and smashes it against a wall. PR does it a second time and a third time. THA PUERTO RICAN Had enough, you jabrony? P.R. slaps Panther in the back of his head, and then grabs him and whips him into another wall. However, Panther reverses, and P.R. hits the wall. Panther follows that up with a clothesline that sends PRL to the floor. Panther then grabs P.R. by his head and by his tights and throws him into a garbage can. The two are now heading into the gorilla position, with PRL crawling. Panther does several soccer kicks onto PRL’s stomach and then grabs him and slams his head onto another table. PR grabs Panther’s head and socks him in the face with a right jab. Panther fights back with a right jab of his own, and PRL and Panther go back and forth with punches. The two walk through the gorilla position and through the entrance. Panther shoves P.R. through the curtains, and the two are now through the entrance heading towards the ring. The two men continue their battle while the crowd cheers loudly. COLE And now finally, it appears that this match will get officially underway. CABOOSE Come on P.R.! Whip Panther’s ass! Take him out! He took you out of the Lethal Rumble remember? He took away your chance at becoming OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Remember that. Let that be your motivation when you’re in the ring. COACH I don’t think PRL needs any motivation from the looks of it. He wants revenge on Panther for eliminating him from the Lethal Rumble, and he hopes that he gets it tonight. CABOOSE If only Panther didn’t attack PRL backstage and waited for the bell to ring, then this match would have been fought fair and square. But now, Panther has the advantage, thanks to that terrible sneak attack. Panther should be ashamed. He should be arrested! COLE This is a very anticipated match-up at Zero Hour. The fans are looking forward to see this two get it on in the middle of the ring. And these two are now heading to ringside, so maybe the bell will ring in a few seconds. Panther and P.R. brawl to ringside with the crowd chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. pokes Panther in the eyes and then brings him down with a punch to the face. P.R. kicks Panther several times, trash talking while doing the kicks. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican lifts Panther up and follows with several European Uppercuts, stopping to jaw with a fan at ringside. P.R. grabs Panther’s head and throws him into the ring. P.R. follows, daring Panther to get up. Panther is holding onto the ring ropes, struggling to get back on his feet as Puerto Rican walks slowly towards him. Panther gets up, holding onto a turnbuckle. P.R. walks towards him, laughing his evil laugh, sporting a cocky smirk. Panther suddenly fires with a back elbow to P.R., causing the P.R. Menace to stumble. Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. COLE And here we go. This Grudge Match between Tha Puerto Rican and Panther is underway! *DING DING DING* “Grudge Match” “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican vs. Panther: Tha Puerto Rican and Panther engage in a slugfest in the middle of the ring. The crowd is hot, watching PR Irish Whip Panther into the ropes. He follows with a leapfrog, followed by a reverse leapfrog, and then finishes it with an arm-drag. Panther gets right back up, so P.R. gives him a dropkick, but he does not fall. P.R. and Panther stare at each other, stopping their brawling for a few seconds to trashtalk each other. The crowd cheers loudly chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican shoves Panther. Panther shoves back. P.R. shoves Panther once again. Panther shoves back. P.R. then slaps Panther in the face. The crowd groans as PRL laughs. Panther does his own slap to PRL’s face to cheers. The two are now nose-to-nose with the crowd anticipating their next move. COLE This is getting hot, folks. Panther and “The Corporate Champion” are ready to explode any moment now. COACH These fans are hot too, Cole. They want to see these two hook ‘em up right now. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Panther lock up. They both let go, and trash talk each other. P.R. and Panther circle the ring and then lock up again. Panther gets the advantage first, grabbing PRL in a headlock. Panther cinches the hold and then brings PRL down, still holding on. However, Tha Puerto Rican locks Panther in between his legs. Panther escapes, and the two are now back up again. P.R. and Panther sneer at each other, and then start laying into each other with lefts and rights. P.R. gets the best of Panther, punching Panther repeatedly in the face. One punch. Another punch. A third punch. P.R. spits on his right hand, and brings Panther down with a fourth punch. Panther gets back up, and the two lock up for the third time in the match. The two superstars jockey for position. PRL finally lets go, preparing to give Panther a hip toss. However, Panther holds on. PRL goes for the hip toss again, and Panther still won’t budge. Panther forces PR to bend down, puts his right leg on top of PR’s neck, and then does a flip, but is met by a PR clothesline that causes the crowd to groan. COLE What a shot by Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE You seeing this Cole? Tha Puerto Rican is going to beat Panther by WRESTLING! That’s right, ACTUAL WRESTLING! Something Panther hasn’t done against Tha Puerto Rican. All he has done is brawl, hit him with chairs, and cheat, but Panther hasn’t WRESTLED PRL yet. Well, now we will find out why: Because Panther CAN’T WRESTLE. All he can do is brawl and cheat. But he can’t wrestle, something Tha Puerto Rican can do, and does well I might add. Panther should take notes, because Tha Puerto Rican is going to show him how to WRESTLE. Tha Puerto Rican pumps up his boots and heads to the ropes. He stops in front of Panther, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then gives Panther a fist drop completing the Five Knuckle Shuffle. The crowd boos. Tha Puerto Rican stops to pose, soaking in the boos of the 20,000 + fans at the Target Center. P.R. says something in Spanish and then kicks Panther several times. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is trying to keep Panther down on the mat, where he will be at his weakest. CABOOSE Well duh. The crowd starts chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as P.R. does several fistdrops onto Panther’s head. With Panther down on the mat, P.R. takes this as the perfect oppturnity to cover him. Nick Patrick counts. COLE 1. 2. And NO! Panther gets up at the count of two! Tha Puerto Rican and Panther circle each other once again. They don’t take their eyes off each other, but then P.R. stops to rest on the top rope. The crowd boos loudly. COLE What a show of arrogance by Tha Puerto Rican. The cocky 25-year-old is one of the most obnoxious superstars the OAOAST has ever seen. CABOOSE I think he’s just showing Panther that he is not afraid of him. He can take what Panther dishes in, and he can strike back. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Come on Panther! Show me what you got! Tha Puerto Rican dares Panther to “Just Bring It!” “The Corporate Champion” does not intimidate Panther at all. He saids something back at PRL and then the two lock up for a fourth time. Panther gets a headlock on PRL once again. He then goes behind PRL, holding onto his right arm. Panther applies a hammerlock on Tha Puerto Rican, which causes P.R. to scream. Panther elbows PRL’s right arm several times. Soon, Tha Puerto Rican gets the strength to reverse the hammerlock into one of his own. P.R. knees Panther in the stomach several times while still applying the hammerlock, but soon Panther scratches P.R.’s eyes. CABOOSE See! That’s cheating! That was cheating right there! I dare you to tell me something different! With P.R. in pain, Panther takes the oppturnity to grab the man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning and lift him up for a T-Bone Suplex. COLE T-Bone Suplex from Panther! CABOOSE He cheated to get that move Cole! He definitely cheated! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is right back up. Running front elbow from Panther! Panther now sending Tha Puerto Rican to the ropes. Hiptoss on PRL! Panther goes for the pin, but P.R. kicks him in the face. The two competitors get back up, with PRL grabbing Panther’s legs from under him, causing him to drop to the mat. P.R. quickly goes for the cover, but Panther kicks him in the face. The two men get up and stare at each other once again, with the crowd applauding the two of them. COLE This has been an action packed match so far. Both men are giving it their all in front of these great fans here in the Target Center. CABOOSE And if you notice Cole, Tha Puerto Rican is beating Panther when it comes to actual wrestling. Just look at that last sequence we just saw, it was PRL who clearly had Panther right where he wanted him! COACH These fans are certainly appreciating the wrestling they’ve witnessed tonight. Minnesota has a long history associated with professional wrestling going back to the AWA, Curt Henning, Rick Rude, and many more. CABOOSE Speaking of legends, you are looking at a legend right there in the ring. Tha Puerto Rican is a living legend and will go down as one of the greatest OAOAST superstars of all-time, maybe the best ever. He is certainly leagues above his opponent tonight. COLE Well, we just have to wait and see about that. Time will only tell how PRL compares to the greats in this business. CABOOSE He’s the greatest Puerto Rican wrestler ever. He is the greatest Puerto Rican Champion ever. He is the greatest North American Champion ever. And he WOULD have been the greatest OAOAST Champion had it not been for Panther! The point is that PRL is already a legend and he will be remembered fondly years and years from now! Once again, PR and Panther lock up. This time it is PRL who applies the headlock. P.R. does a ten punch on Panther and then lets go. Panther and Puerto Rican start punching each other once again, but then Panther gains the advantage by giving PRL a knife edged chop. “WOOOOOOO!” …. And a second knife edged chop. “WOOOOO!” …And a third knife edged chop. “WOOOOOOO!” Panther whips P.R. into the ropes, and then grabs PRL in a ¾ facelock. However, P.R. escapes, and then grabs Panther, placing him on his shoulders back first. P.R. prepares to go for the Corporate Takeover, but Panther escapes, grabs PRL, and gives him a dragon suplex. Panther goes for the cover. 1… 2.. KICK OUT!!! COLE Panther and Tha Puerto Rican are going back and forth. Neither man has really had the advantage so far in this match. CABOOSE Just you wait, Michael. Just you wait. PRL will lay the smackdown on Panther soon enough. Just you wait. You’ll see. COLE Panther picks up PRL. Irish Whip into the ropes again. Panther lowers his head, but P.R. stops, and kicks him in the face. P.R. grabs Panther in a ¾ facelock, and spikes him down with a Dangerous DDT. The crowd groans as Panther crumbles onto the mat. P.R. goes for the cover. It gets a two. P.R. applies an arm-bar on Panther, which causes the crowd to cheer louder. The crowd chants “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” P.R. tells the crowd to shut up, but this makes them chant louder. COLE These fans are 100% behind Panther tonight. CABOOSE Idiots. All of them. It’s bad enough that they boo Drek Stone, but they also boo P.R.? No matter where Tha Puerto Rican goes, he gets no respect. No respect, I tells ya. No respect. Panther starts to wake up, as he gets on one knee. P.R. continues applying the arm-bar, but Panther is now hunched over. The crowd stomps their feet in unison, causing Panther to punch P.R. in the face with his free arm. Panther has to punch P.R. in the face several times, but the hold is released, and Panther heads to the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but P.R. ducks, and gives Panther the Edge-O-Matic. He goes for the cover. 1… 2.. KICK OUT!!! P.R. and Panther both get up. P.R. whips Panther into the ropes, but Panther reverses. Panther leapfrogs over P.R., and then he does a reverse leapfrog. CABOOSE He’s stealing P.R.L.’s moves! Panther does a second leapfrog, but P.R. stops before he does it, and slaps Panther in the face. COLE Whoa! A sign of disrespect from Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE Ha, Ha! This is great! Panther mouths “You son-of-a-bitch.” He then knocks P.R. down with one punch. P.R. gets up. Panther grabs him, and whips him into a turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican Flair flips onto the ring apron. Tha Puerto Rican stops to point to his forehead, saying how smart he is. The crowd boos loudly. P.R. sports a cocky smirk, and walks to the top rope, but Panther stops him with a clothesline, sending P.R. off the ring apron and to the outside. CABOOSE Another sneak attack by Panther! Why can’t he just face P.R. man to man! Why must he continue to resort to sneak attack after sneak attack? This is making me sick! COACH Well, maybe Tha Puerto Rican shouldn’t have sneaked attacked Panther with a chair. Maybe, Tha Puerto Rican shouldn’t have sneaked attacked Panther and eliminated him from the Lethal Rumble. CABOOSE Maybe you should shut up before I punch you in the face. COACH Yes sir. Tha Puerto Rican struggles to get up, clutching his jaw. Panther plays to the crowd, and then heads to the ropes, coming back with a baseball slide that sends PRL into Sofa Central. COACH WHOA! The crowd cheers loudly and chants “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” Tha Puerto Rican lies on the announcer’s table. Panther heads out of the ring and into Sofa Central. He punches P.R.’s forehead repeatedly CABOOSE Leave him alone, you cheater! Panther trash talks P.R. and then picks him up from the announcer’s table. He slams Tha Puerto Rican’s face on the announcer’s table, and then punches him some more. COLE This match has been all over the place! It started in the backstage area, went to the ring, then to Sofa Central and now is taking place in the ringside area! COACH “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are brawling all over the ringside area! There seems to be no stopping these two. They are showing no signs of fatigue, and are showing no pain whatsoever. This match may never end! Panther and “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican continue fighting. Panther throws PRL back into the ring. He climbs the ring apron, while Tha Puerto Rican is in pain. The crowd is hot, cheering everything Panther is doing. Panther plays to the crowd some more, and then leaps over the top rope, doing a slingshot con hilo onto Tha Puerto Rican. Panther goes for the cover. 1… 2… 3—KICK OUT!!! Panther picks up P.R. He gives him several punches to the face and then whips him into the ropes. However, Tha Puerto Rican reverses, and gives Panther a spinning heel kick. Tha Puerto Rican stops and poses some more. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican does the “Up Yours!” sign and goes back to work on Panther, beating on his forehead some more. Panther slowly gets up, using the ropes for help. When Panther is lying on the turnbuckle, PRL heads to the opposite turnbuckle, and hits Panther with a Stinger Splash. Tha Puerto Rican shoves Panther back to the turnbuckle, and rips his basketball jersey off, so that he can give chops to his bare chest. “WOOOO!” CHOP “WOOOOO!” CHOP! “WOOOOO!” CHOP!! “WOOOOO!” CHOP!!! “WOOOOOO!” Panther is now dazed, so PRL grabs him and places him between his legs. He lifts Panther up, and prepares to give him the Lightning Bolt (Styles Clash). COACH This could be it! This could be the move that puts Panther away! The Lightning Bolt, one of Tha Puerto Rican’s signature moves! P.R. sports a cocky smirk, and then hits the Lightning Bolt. The top of Panther’s head makes direct contact with the mat, causing the crowd to groan. P.R. covers Panther. 1………. 2………. THREE-? PANTHER KICKS OUT! COLE NO! Panther is still in this match-up! He kicked out of the Lightning Bolt, which I think will make Tha Puerto Rican even more pissed off! CABOOSE You’re damn right it’ll make Tha Puerto Rican pissed off! That move should have ended the match right there! P.R. is pissed off, yelling at Nick Patrick, but Patrick insists that it was a three count. Tha Puerto Rican kicks Panther several times and then picks him up for once again. “The Corporate Champ” gives Panther several European Uppercuts, and then puts him between his legs again. P.R. hooks Panther’s arms behind him, and lifts him up—NO! Panther holds on. PRL tries again, but Panther still holds on. COLE It looks like Tha Puerto Rican is trying to do the Annexation Of Puerto Rico, but Panther is not letting him! PRL tries for the Annexation Of Puerto Rico once again, but Tha Puerto Rican takes a BAAAAAAACCKKK Body Drop onto the mat. Panther escapes the Annexation Of Puerto Rico. The crowd comes back to life at this. Panther has a furious look on his face. He grabs P.R.’s legs, looks at the crowd, and then hooks PRL’s legs, applying the Figure Four Leglock on him. The crowd starts cheering. PRL starts screaming in pain. COLE And now the Figure Four Leglock! Panther has applied the deadly Figure Four Leglock on his archrival! CABOOSE Come on P.R.! Come on P.R.! Escape! Escape! Get out of the Leglock! Get out of the Leglock, damnit! Come on! COACH The Figure Four Leglock, shades of the great Ric Flair, is being applied on Tha Puerto Rican. Nick Patrick asks PRL if he gives up. Tha Puerto Rican fires back with “FUCK NO!” Panther screams at PRL to submit. P.R. tries to reverse the hold, waving his arms in the air, trying his best to turn the hold over. Panther fights to keep the Figure Four Leglock going, but P.R. is slowly turning over. He inches closer and closer, until finally, he has the reverse Figure Four Leglock on Panther causing the crowd to boo even louder. PRL laughs evilly. Nick Patrick asks Panther if he gives up, but Panther screams out “NO!!!” COLE And now the tables have turned! Tha Puerto Rican has the reverse Figure Four Leglock on Panther! CABOOSE HA! HA! Give up Panther! Give up! Tap out, damnit! Tap out! Now! The crowd boos PR. They start chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Panther crawls out of the hold and gets back up. PR gets back up also, slightly limping in his right leg because of the Figure Four Leglock. Panther punches PRL, and then Irish Whips him into the ropes, and gives him an Arn Anderson-style Spinebuster! COLE What a Spinebuster by Panther! Shades of Arn Anderson! CABOOSE Aw, that’s not how you do a Spinebuster! If anyone knows how to do a Spinebuster, it’s Tha Puerto Rican! That is one helluva Spinebuster PRL does! COACH Panther is gaining a second wind; he is going for the win here! PR clutches his back, slowly getting up. Tha Puerto Rican stumbles, due to his hurt right leg. Panther kicks at the leg, smiling, as PRL yells out in pain. The crowd is enjoying this too. CABOOSE What sick man Panther is! What a sadistic creep! Enjoying PRL screaming in pain! “The Corporate Champion” is in agony, and all he can do is smile! That crazy bastard! Panther kicks at the right leg again, and PRL falls to the mat. Panther picks up the P.R. Menace, and tries to apply the Japanese Stranglehold. However, PRL lowblows Panther with his left leg. COLE Now come on! Tha Puerto Rican just cheated right there! How did the referee not see that? CABOOSE Hey. What goes around comes around. Panther has cheated this entire match, so Tha Puerto Rican is paying him back! Karma, man. Karma. COACH PRL and Panther have gone back and forth in this match, with neither man having total control. And now Tha Puerto Rican is beating on Panther some more. That right leg is still bothering PRL, but he is still continuing this match! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Panther and gives him a Vertical Suplex. P.R. rolls through, and gives Panther a second Vertical Suplex. He then rolls through once again, and lifts Panther up for a third Vertical Suplex. PR lets Panther hang in the air for a few seconds. The crowd golf claps this feat of strength. P.R. walks around the ring with Panther still in the air. He does the “You Can’t See Me!” hand motion, and then walks to the ropes, giving Panther a Slingshot Suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta! COLE What a great move by Tha Puerto Rican! I may not like his attitude, but you cannot deny that the man has talent. At just 25-years-old, he is one of the OAOAST’s biggest stars. CABOOSE It’s all Panther’s fault that PRL isn’t in the main event at AngleMania IV. It is all his fault that PRL isn’t going to fight for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania! COLE You still hanging onto that? CABOOSE Yes. Panther deserves payback for what he did. It is not right. Not right at all! COLE Tha Puerto Rican, “The Corporate Champion”, is now heading to the top rope. The Mad Cappa Crusher 2003! COACH PRL should really update that move. He should give it a remix. Call it The Mad Cappa Crusher 2005: The REMIX~!!! Caboose slaps Jonathon “The Coach” Coachman in the back of the head. COACH Ow. Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover. It gets a two count. PRL then heads to the ring apron, and plays to the crowd. The crowd boos loudly. PRL sneers at the crowd, and then leaps to the top rope hitting the San Juan Jam (450 Splash) on Panther. He goes for the cover. It gets a two count. PRL yells out “Come on, Ref!” but Nick Patrick insists it was a two count. PRL slaps Panther in the back of his head, and then stops to pose once again. The crowd greets him with boos. COLE These fans are not too please with Tha Puerto Rican’s attitude. CABOOSE Like I said, idiots. All of them. COACH PRL said he would whip Panther’s candy ass tonight, and it looks like he is doing so right now. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican waits for Panther to get up. The crowd chants “LET’S GO PAN-THER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET’S GO PAN-THER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET’S GO PAN-THER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET’S GO PAN-THER! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* PR laughs at Panther, who is now on one knee. P.R. heads to the ropes, and gives Panther a Shining Wizard sending him back down. P.R. grabs Panther and whips him into the ropes. He gives him a Samoan Drop onto the mat. He punches Panther in the face some more and then heads to the ropes. The crowd stands up, some are cheering, while Panther lies in the middle of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad and throws it to the crowd. He does some weird hand signals, and then leaps off the top, doing the “Up Yours!” hand signal in mid-air, dropping an elbow on Panther’s chest. The Corporate Elbow Drop! The crowd pops a little for the move, as PRL covers Panther. OOONNNEEEEEE TWOOOOOOOOOO THREEEEE-----KIIICCCKKKKK OUUUTTTT!!!! COLE And Panther kicks out just in the nick of time. He has shown no signs of stopping since this match started. He wants to get revenge on Tha Puerto Rican, and he may get it tonight at Zero Hour, if he defeats Tha Puerto Rican in the middle of the ring. CABOOSE Something he hasn’t done yet, I might add. COLE Oh, will you stop?! PR trash talks Panther. He picks him up, and whips him into the ropes. PR criss-cross’s with Panther, and then grabs him, giving him a bulldog. PR shakes his right leg, still feeling the effects of the Figure Four, and then slaps Panther in the back of the head. PUERTO RICAN THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I SHOULD BE WORLD CHAMPION! BUT YOU RUINED IT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! The crowd is trying to cheer Panther back to life, but PR is still attacking him. The P.R. Menace kicks Panther in the stomach several times. Panther catches PRL’s left leg, but Tha Puerto Rican strikes back with an enzuguri causing Panther to fall flat on his face on the mat. PR clutches his right leg in pain, wondering why he decided to do an enzuguri when his right leg is in pain. He slaps himself on the forehead, and then slowly gets up. COLE It appears that Figure Four Leglock did some damage to PRL’s right leg, as he has been limping since then. It maybe swollen, or Panther may have broken it. CABOOSE If Panther broke PRL’s leg, then PRL has yet another reason to hate him, and it is more further proof that Panther is a heartless evil person. COACH Hey, remember what you said. What goes around comes around. Karma. CABOOSE Oh, would you please shut up! Tha Puerto Rican covers Panther, but gets a two count. PR chokes Panther, but Nick Patrick orders him to stop by the count of five. PR lets go at four. He picks Panther up, and gives him a Russian Legsweep. P.R. holds on, and goes behind Panther. He lifts Panther up from behind, and applies the Che Guevara Special. Panther screams in pain, and PRL cinches the hold. COLE And now the Che Guevara Special! The move created by Gory Guerrero is now being used! I can’t imagine the pain Panther is feeling. He must be in serious agony right now! PR then lets go and drops Panther with the “Free Puerto Rico Now!” Gory Bomb. PR goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! PR stands over the fallen Panther, and then does the Corporate Eyebrow. He laughs, and applies a chinlock on Panther. PRL jaws with Panther, while the referee checks to see if Panther gives up. PRL has his left knee forced onto the back of Panther. Panther motions for the crowd to bring him back to life. The crowd claps in unison, chanting, “LET’S GO PAN-THER! LET’S GO PAN-THER!” COLE The referee is asking Panther if he gives up. But Panther says no. Not now. Not ever. CABOOSE Give it time, Cole. Trust me, Panther is going to lose this match. He is going to walk out of Zero Hour a LOSER! It’s a guarantee almost! Panther is now showing signs of life, as he slowly moves to the side, with the chinlock still applied. PR yells at Nick Patrick to “ASK HIM! ASK HIM!” but Panther is now on one knee. PR frets, as the chinlock is not putting Panther down. Panther soon gets on his feet, but the chinlock is still applied. Panther asks the crowd to cheer louder, and they do, cheering as loud as they can. Panther escapes the chinlock, and punches PR in the stomach. He punches him in the stomach again, but PR pokes Panther in the eyes. PR Irish Whips Panther into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Panther ducks, and Panther back fires with a STIFF~! Superkick that lays PR out on the mat. Panther is now sweating, tired, and breathing hard. He is showing signs of fatigue. Tha Puerto Rican gets up, clutching his jaw. He turns into a right jab from Panther. “The Champion Of Champions” and “The Corporate Champion” lay into each other with punch after punch. Panther now is in control, pushing PR into the ropes. He goes for an Irish Whip, but PR reverses, grabbing Panther in a ¾ Facelock, and giving him a Lightning Strike! CABOOSE THE PANTHER CUTTER! THE PANTHER CUTTER! THA PUERTO RICAN JUST GAVE PANTHER THE PANTHER CUTTER! COLE Tha Puerto Rican gave Panther a Lightning Strike, which is also known as Panther’s Panther Cutter. CABOOSE HE JUST EMBARRASED PANTHER! A PANTHER CUTTER ON PANTHER! THAT’S JUST GREAT! COACH That move is apart of PRL’s arsenal too, you know. Panther and PR both happen to use the Diamond Cutter. CABOOSE Blah, blah, blah. Let’s ignore the semantics. The fact is that PRL just gave Panther the move Panther used to defeat him a few weeks ago. This is payback right here! Now Panther will be defeated fair and square with his own move! This is what you get when you pin The P.R. Menace. This is going to be great! PR goes for the cover. OOOONNNNEEEEE TWOOOOOOOOOO THRREEE—KICK OUT!!! COLE Hegothim! Nohedidn’t! Panther lies on the mat in pain, as PRL trash talks him. He spits in his face and heads to the top rope. COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican going for another high-flying maneuver. PR yells at Panther. Suddenly, Panther sprints right back up, rushes towards Tha Puerto Rican, puts him a suplex position, hooks his right leg, and then leaps off the top rope with the Pantherplex! COLE WHOA! What a move! The Pantherplex from Panther! COACH He was playing possum! He fooled Tha Puerto Rican! How about that! CABOOSE Oh no. Oh no. Uh, uh…no! COACH What’s a matter Caboose? Cat got ya tongue? Face it, Panther tricked Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE NO! NO! NO! He just got lucky. Uh. Uh. JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! The crowd is coming back to life following Panther’s Pantherplex. Both PR and Panther lie on the mat, with PR clutching his right leg once again. Panther gets up, and aims for PR’s right leg, kicking it several times. Panther grabs the right leg and stretches it, causing PRL to scream out in pain. COLE That right leg has become a target for Panther. That leg appears to have been hurt by Panther’s Figure Four Leglock, and now Panther is adding to the damage, by focusing his assault on that right leg. Panther drags PR’s right leg to the bottom rope. He places the leg on top of the bottom rope, and then begins nailing it, with several knees to the leg. PR screams in pain, begging for Panther to stop. Panther doesn’t listen, and continues his assault, striking the leg with kicks and knees. Panther picks up “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and kicks him in the right leg some more. With PR limping some more, Panther grabs the former Puerto Rican Champion, and places him on his shoulders. Panther pauses for a few seconds, and then drills Tha Puerto Rican with The Deep End (Samoan Driver). He goes for the cover. 1…2…KICK OUT! Panther heads to the ropes and does an Asai Moonsault onto PR. He goes for the cover again. 1…2…KICK OUT! COLE Panther is back up again! Panther picks up PR once again. He sizes him up, and then runs towards him, giving him The Frontline (Running Front Drop Kick) to the right knee. PR crumbles to the mat. COACH That didn’t help PR’s right leg much. COLE Panther is gaining momentum in this match-up. He is striking Tha Puerto Rican with every move he can think of, and is targeting that right leg, causing “The Corporate Champ” a lot of pain. Panther gets the crowd fired up. The crowd is standing up, while Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets up, in lots of pain. Panther is fired up. He whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes. PR goes for a clothesline, but Panther grabs him from behind, and lifts him up giving him a German Suplex. Panther stands up and waits for P.R.L. to follow him. He mouths several obscenities in PRL’s direction, as the man formerly known as The Lightning Kid is having trouble getting up with his right leg in pain. PR uses the ropes for help, while Panther gets ready to deliver another move. With PRL now up, holding onto the ropes, PR breathes a sigh of relief…. until Panther grabs him from behind and gives him another German Suplex. Panther gets up, and smiles, with the crowd applauding him. Panther plays to the crowd some more as Tha Puerto Rican, sweating profusely, breathing hard, and fatigued, uses the ropes to get up again. He drags himself onto the second rope, and then drags himself to the top rope. Panther rushes towards him, and goes for a third German Suplex. However, PR doesn’t budge. Panther goes for the German Suplex again, but again, Tha Puerto Rican does not move. Panther goes for it a third time, but PR escapes, and gets behind Panther. He lifts Panther up and gives him a German Suplex of his own. He then holds on, and lifts Panther up for a second German Suplex. He continues to hold on and gives Panther a third straight German Suplex completing the hat trick. PR and Panther lie on the mat for a few seconds, before PR gets up. P.R. grabs Panther and beats on him. He gives Panther a Double Underhook DDT. COLE Panther is now at the mercy of Tha Puerto Rican. P.R., bad right leg and all, is still fighting Panther. He is intent on making him pay for what he’s done to him tonight at Zero Hour here in Minneapolis, Minnesota! This pay-per-view spectacular on the road to AngleMania is giving us a number of great matches, including the one we are witnessing right now. Tha Puerto Rican is limping, but he is still attacking Panther. COACH This has been a very athletic contest. A very intense match that is the result of a very intense feud. Both men are feeling the effects of this match, PRL especially, with that right leg of his. CABOOSE I hope PRL isn’t feeling frustrated. I know he will beat Panther. He is giving Panther everything he has. He shouldn’t give up yet. He will get the job done. He will defeat Panther tonight. IT WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT AT ZERO HOUR! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican limps across the ring, waiting for Panther to get up. Panther, very slowly, gets up. P.R. yells at him. Tha Puerto Rican charges towards Panther and gives him a Swinging Neckbreaker. Panther gets up, so “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican grabs him, and drops him with The Latin Slam. P.R. goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! Tha Puerto Rican is pissed off, so he covers Panther again. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! COLE And once again Panther will not stay down! CABOOSE Why can’t he just give up? Save himself further pain. Tha Puerto Rican is going to destroy him, so why doesn’t Panther give up? COLE Because he knows he can beat Tha Puerto Rican. He knows he has what it takes. He has heart he has courage. He knows in his heart, mind, and soul that he is in PRL’s league. Not to mention, he wants to get revenge on PRL for eliminating him from the Lethal Rumble back at Anglepalooza in January. CABOOSE Bah. Just bah. “The Corporate Champion” is visibly annoyed as he gets up, still limping, waiting for Panther to get up. When Panther is up, PR chops his chest some more. He whips him into the ropes, puts his head down, so Panther kicks him in the face. Panther charges at Tha Puerto Rican, but Tha Puerto Rican grabs him and gives him a SPINNNEEEBBUUSSTTEERRRR~!!! The crowd pops, as they know what is coming up next. The fans stand on their feet, while Tha Puerto Rican stands over Panther in the middle of the ring. COLE Oh no. CABOOSE Oh yes. Oh yes, Cole. It’s going to happen. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Panther’s face. He then does some weird hand signals, and runs, well, limps, to the ropes, kind of slowly too. P.R. then jumps over Panther, and then limps to the other ropes. CABOOSE It’s now time for the Most Electrifying Move in Professional Wrestling NOT Sports-Entertainment…. hold on, it’ll happen eventually. Wait. Wait. It’s coming. Tha Puerto Rican (finally) stops, and drops the IntenseZone Elbow on Panther’s head to a face pop. CABOOSE Ah, yes. Here we go! THE INTENSEZONE ELBOW! Tha Puerto Rican goes for the cover. 1… 2… 3? KICK OUT!!! PR is shocked. He argues with Nick Patrick, but the crowd is very happy about it. The crowd starts chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. yells at the crowd, but then continues his assault on Panther, on one good leg. Panther is still lying in the middle of the ring, when Tha Puerto Rican grabs his legs, places his left leg in between them, hooks the legs, and then turns around, applying the Sharpshooter on Panther. COLE SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER ON PANTHER! CABOOSE ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE END! IT’S ALL OVER NOW! NOW ALL PANTHER HAS TO DO IS TAP AND THIS MATCH WILL BE OVER! DONE! COMPLETE! FINISH! FINITIO! Tha Puerto Rican applies the Sharpshooter on Panther, who is screaming in pain. PR is enjoying this, screaming at Panther, and then laughing evilly at the fans. With a psychotic look on his face, P.R. applies more pressure to the Sharpshooter. Nick Patrick asks Panther if he gives up, but Panther screams “NO!” Panther tries to head to the ropes, but PR won’t let go of the deadly submission move. COLE This is it. This could be the move that ends the match! That Sharpshooter is locked in tight, and Panther is in the middle of the ring. CABOOSE JUST TAP ALREADY! Give up! Save yourself from anymore pain! It’s over Panther it’s over now! Just give in! Panther starts moving to the ring ropes. He is still in pain, but he moves closer and closer to the ring ropes. P.R. notices this, and starts to fret, while Panther is almost near the ropes. COLE Panther must be in excruciating pain right now. The Sharpshooter is a painful submission move, and most of the time you’ll have no choice but to tap out to stop the pain! CABOOSE And that is exactly what Panther is going to do right now! That’s right! He’s going to tap the mat, that’s right, just you wait! COACH Panther is a little far from the ropes. How is he going to reach the ropes with the Sharpshooter locked in? Tha Puerto Rican continues applying the Sharpshooter, but Panther is now only a few inches away from the ropes. Finally, Panther reaches out…. and grabs the bottom rope! The crowd cheers. COLE Panther made it to the ropes! “The Champ Of Champs” has made it to the ropes, and this match will continue! CABOOSE DAMNIT! DAMNIT! WHY COULDN’T HE HAVE SUBMITTED? HUH? WHY MUST HE CONTINUE? IT’S NOT FAIR! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! COACH Whoa, easy there, Boo-Boo. CABOOSE AND DON’T CALL ME BOO-BOO! The referee orders PRL to let go. The ref counts to 4, but Tha Puerto Rican finally releases the Sharpshooter. P.R.L. picks Panther back up, but Panther kicks PR in the right leg, and when PR is hunched over, rolls him up with a small package. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! COLE Another near fall. Panther, with a sign of desperation. He quickly went after P.R.’s right leg, and then gave him a small package. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican picks Panther up, and whips him into the ropes. Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. P.R. then heads to the ropes, sneering at the crowd along the way. Tha Puerto Rican leaps off the top with a Moonsault. Nick Patrick counts. 1…2…KICK OUT! P.R. looks at Panther, and gets an idea. He waits for Panther to get up, laughing as he waits. The crowd stands in anticipation of what he is going to do. Panther slowly gets up, with P.R. yelling “COME ON!” Panther is sweating, tired, dazed, and breathing hard. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican grabs him, places him between his legs…. and gives Panther DA’ BOMB~! CABOOSE DA BOMB~! DA BOMB~! PANTHER’S FINISHING MOVE! THA PUERTO RICAN JUST PANTHER HIS FINISHING MOVE! THIS IS GREAT! THIS IS TERRIFIC! THA PUERTO RICAN IS GOING TO DEFEAT PANTHER WITH HIS OWN FINISHING MOVE! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has just struck Panther with Da’ Bomb! Panther’s own finishing move! What a way to lose this match? Losing to your own finishing move, what’s worst than that? Tha Puerto Rican holds his right leg for a few seconds and then goes for the cover. 1… 2…. THREEEEEEEE-------KICK OUT!!! COLE AND PANTHER KICKS OUT! Tha Puerto Rican is shocked. The crowd is now hyper, and is chanting “PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER! PAN-THER!” A small group of fans in the front row are even, strangely, BOOING the fact that Panther kicked out. CABOOSE Nice to see that the millions and millions of Puerto Rican fans agree with me. That was a slow count! Tha Puerto Rican had the match won right there, but Nick Patrick did a slow count! The small vocal group of TPR fans are drown out by the vast amount of Panther fans that have populated the Target Center. Panther is slow to get up, so TPR is quick to attack. Panther heads to a turnbuckle, so TPR follows. TPR beats on Panther some more on the turnbuckle. PR whips Panther into the turnbuckle, charges, but Panther kicks him in the face. Panther punches PR in the face some more, and the two engage in another slugfest in the middle of the ring. Panther gains the advantage, whipping P.R. into a turnbuckle. P.R. hits the turnbuckle sternum first, and stumbles out of the turnbuckle…. and into a PANTHER CUTTER from Panther! COLE PANTHER CUTTER! THE PANTHER CUTTER! HE HIT IT! THE COVER! 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! COLE AND THA PUERTO RICAN STILL KICKS OUT! CABOOSE That’s because Tha Puerto Rican is so much better than Panther that it’s not even funny. COACH This match has gone on for so long, yet these two STILL won’t give up. Even though PR has an injured right leg, he still continues the fight. CABOOSE Don’t forget about his fans, you heard them earlier. Tha Puerto Rican has support in this arena tonight! Panther gets up, and kicks P.R., keeping him down on the mat. Panther heads to the top rope, and leaps off with a Frog Splash. But the Frog Splash took the energy out of him, because P.R. and Panther lie in the ring, fatigued. COLE This match has taken its toll on both men. Both men are intent on taking out the other. This has been a seesaw battle. Back and forth action from these two phenomenal superstars of the OAOAST. I honestly have no idea who will win this match. CABOOSE Tha Puerto Rican. COACH Are you ever going to stop being a PRL cheerleader? CABOOSE I’m just telling you the truth. Tha Puerto Rican is going to win this match. No question about it. Panther is going to go down, and he is going to go down hard! Panther and Tha Puerto Rican both get up. The two men continue their slugfest in the middle of the ring. TPR now has the advantage, and he takes Panther to the ropes. He limps to the other end of the ring, and limps towards Panther, but Panther, because PR is limping, prevents PR from doing anything by sending TPR over the top rope and onto the floor. The crowd is in shock. The small section of fans that cheered for TPR earlier chant “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” COLE What a move by Tha Puerto Rican! What an incredible move! CABOOSE Come on PRL! GET UP! GET UP RIGHT NOW! TPR lies on the floor outside the ring. He slowly gets up, on his knees, but then holding onto the ring apron for help. Soon, TPR is on his feet, which allows Panther to rush towards him, leaping over the top rope, with a Corkscrew Plancha! COLE And what an incredible move by Panther! That was just great! CABOOSE DAMNIT! I don’t believe it! Panther is attacking PRL when he least expects it! The son-of-a-bitch. Panther gets up, and grabs PR by his head. The two begin brawling outside the ring. The brawl continues all through ringside. COLE And now, PR and Panther are once again brawling outside the ring. If they don’t stop soon, they’ll tear this place apart! This could get chaotic any second now! PR and Panther are still brawling. PR whips Panther, but Panther reverses…and sends THA PUERTO RICAN RIGHT THROUGH A BARRICADE! COACH DAY-UM~!!! The crowd is in shocked, but is now cheering. PR lies in what is left of the barricade, but doesn’t rest for long because Panther heads towards him and kicks him in his right leg several times. COLE This brawl is out of control. CABOOSE Fine by me. I like the unpredictable nature of this match! Now, anything can happen! This is great! I love this! Panther grabs Tha Puerto Rican and the two fight in the crowd. The crowd is rabid as the two OAOAST superstars move through the audience. PR and Panther stop to fight in a section of the crowd. The fans all mug for the camera, as PR and Panther slug it out. Panther gets the most of TPR. Tha Puerto Rican is dazed, so Panther socks him with a right hand that sends Tha Puerto Rican into a bunch of fans. Tha Puerto Rican immediately gets up, and, in the heat of the moment, grabs one of the fans and piefaces him back into his chair. The crowd is shocked at that action. The fan’s friend gets up and gets in Tha Puerto Rican’s face. PR jaws with the fan. The fan shoves Tha Puerto Rican, so Tha Puerto Rican shoves back. The fans all over the arena are shocked, and standing up. COLE Hey wait a minute. Guys, this, this may get a little out of control. COACH Yeah, I hear you. Tell these guys to calm down. Get back in the ring. One of the fans sitting next to the fan that got pie-faced throws his cup full of beer at P.R., but P.R. moves out of the way and it hits Panther in the back. Panther turns around and thinks that it was PR who did it. Panther, who is furious, shoves a fan out of his seat and grabs chair. Panther charges at PRL with the chair, preparing to hit him, but PRL notices, moves out of the way… and Panther hits the fan that got pie-faced by PRL instead! The fan is now knocked out unconscious. COLE OH MY GOD! COACH PANTHER JUST DO WHAT I THINK HE DID!? CABOOSE DAMN RIGHT HE DID! Panther just showed everybody what a low life he is! How dare he hit that fan in the head with a chair! COLE He was aiming for PRL, but PRL ducked, and that fan, unfortunately, got the chairshot instead. CABOOSE Oh come on. Panther was obviously aiming for that poor, defenseless fan. Don’t try to twist it any differently. It’s obvious. Suddenly, the unconscious fans’ other friends stand up and jaw with Panther. They try to pick a fight with Panther, but Panther, obviously, is no match for them. The unconscious fans’ other friends jaw with PRL, and soon, PRL and Panther are separated by a mob of angry fans. PRL and Panther still want to go after each other, but are held back by the mob of angry fans. So, therefore, PRL and Panther start fighting with the fans! The fans fight back, but PRL and Panther are much too stronger, so soon more fans join the fight. Tha Puerto Rican rocks a fan wearing a Panther basketball jersey with a right hand that knocks the poor fat guy out. Soon, the entire front row of the Target Center has emptied as more and more fans have joined in on the fight. Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are still trying to get at each other, while at the same time, fighting off the rowdy fans who want a piece of PRL and Panther. Meanwhile, the rest of the crowd at the Target Center is going crazy, cheering wildly as a riot-type situation has begun. COLE OH COME ON! STOP THIS! STOP THIS NOW! COACH Oh God, do you realize how many lawsuits we are going to have thanks to this? CABOOSE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS GREAT! WE HAVE A RIOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW! THIS IS WHAT THE OAOAST IS ALL ABOUT! TOTAL UNPREDICTIABLENESS! I LOVE THE OAOAST! COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Panther have started a riot at the Target Center! And the match is still officially going on! The referee has yet to call for the bell, so this match is still officially underway! COACH This isn’t making the OAOAST look good, is it? CABOOSE It’s making the OAOAST look great! This shows that anything can and DOES happen in the OAOAST! We should use this footage when we advertise our shows. COACH This footage will be shown ad-naseum all right. COLE Will security get in there?! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THIS! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Panther are still brawling with the fans, as they both try to get at each other. Security is having trouble stopping the rowdy fans from fighting PRL and Panther. Nick Patrick is still in the ring. He has no choice but to call for the bell. *DING DING DING (22:54)* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, Referee Nick Patrick has ordered that this match be ruled…. A NO CONTEST! The crowd boos this decision loudly. A loud “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” chant is heard throughout the arena. Some fans take the opportunity that the broken barricade has presented, and rush into the ring. Michael Buffer and Nick Patrick quickly escape, while security tries to catch the rowdy fans that have entered the ring. One of the fans leaps over the barricade and grabs Caboose by his neck. CABOOSE What the fuck are you doing?! The fans in the higher parts of the arena are going wild, while the front row section of the Target Center has emptied, with fans heading into the ring, and taking part in the PRL/Panther brawl. Medical personnel have arrived and are taking the unconscious fan out on a stretcher. Security is finally getting some semblance of control, taking the fans out of the ring, and trying, desperately to end the brawl. COLE Oh God. This is just crazy. 100% wild. What a chaotic situation we are witnessing. There are fans in the ring, there are fans fighting with OAOAST wrestlers. CABOOSE They better not come near me! COACH This is just crazy, yo! I don’t believe what we are witnessing! COLE I don’t think anything has happened like this in the OAOAST ever. In the 3-½ year history of the OAOAST, I don’t think I’ve seen a situation like the one we are witnessing right now! Police have now arrived, and are arresting the fans that have entered the ring. The police are wearing riot gear, and have finally ended the brawl. 20 police officers have separated the fans, but PRL and Panther still want to go after each other. The fans are now returning to their seats, but PRL and Panther escape the police and continue brawling. COACH I don’t think even the police could stop PRL and Panther from brawling. I don’t think even the National Guard can stop PRL and Panther from brawling! The police are taking the fans that have entered the ring out of the arena in cuffs. A few fans are still being arrested. The rest of the fans who were in the front row have returned to their seats. The unconscious fan has been taken in a stretcher. Security is guarding the area where the barricade broke. The fans all over the Target Center are still buzzing over the riot they have just gone through. PRL and Panther have to be taken out of the arena by separate groups of security guards. COLE P.R. and Panther want to TEAR each other apart! They had to be taken out of the arena by separate security personnel! COACH This was a wild match from the start. PRL and Panther fought in the backstage area, around ringside, in the ring, and with the fans as well! COLE This feud has brought out the worst in Tha Puerto Rican and Panther. What we just witnessed tonight was a scar on the OAOAST, the OAOAST wrestlers, and the OAOAST fans. We apologize to anyone who was offended by the situation you just witnessed. We here at the OAOAST try our best to conduct business in an orderly and professional matter, and what you just witnessed is not an example of what usually happens in the OAOAST. This was a once in a lifetime thing, and we can guarantee that it will never happen again. CABOOSE Isn’t that what we always say? COLE (through his teeth) Shut up, Caboose. COACH This was certainly a very memorable match we just saw. It was a great match, and then the fans started rioting and that just made it even more memorable! COLE We have finally gotten order back into this arena. The fans have all returned to their seats, and the police have thrown out P.R. and Panther out of the Target Center, as well as arrest those few rowdy fans that entered the ring. Now, we can get back to our regular scheduled programming, and continue Zero Hour, here in Minneapolis, Minnesota, the night where Drek Stone will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against the hometown, boy, Hoff! COACH Boy, was this something I’ll never forget. CABOOSE Damn right. This place needs more of what we just saw. COLE I don’t think so Caboose. CABOOSE Now come on! I love the wild unpredictability of the OAOAST. That is what makes the fed great! We should have more awesome situations like we just saw! COLE I rather not. I just pray we don’t witness what we just saw ever again. CABOOSE Fine, you big baby. COLE Let’s just go to the next segment. Please, anything, right now! Let’s get on with the show! Let’s get away from this, and let’s move on! Now! Edited February 28, 2005 by Hoff Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) In their locker room, The Global Party Exchange and Leon Rodez are readying themselves for a big night ahead. All are dressed (thankfully) and going through warm-ups, be they mental or physical. As they do though, their locker room door opens and Josh Matthews arrives with microphone in hand, and the warm-ups give way to high fives, back slaps, what ups and the like. MATTHEWS Sorry to interrupt ma brahs, but I kinda wanted to get an interview with you Leon about tonight. Forgetting about his half tied boots for the moment, Rodez stands beside Josh and obliges his buddy. MATTHEWS Now, I hate to put a downer on you before your match. But, we all saw what happened with you on Thursday night...with first, the match with Vitamin X where your surgically repaired knee was tested...and then, later in the night, the sneak attack by your challenger tonight Chris Stevens. I've gotta ask...how are you doing? RODEZ Well, the knee's still aching a little. But, there's no real damage. No concussion. No serious knee injury. As far as I'm concerned, I'm near enough one hundred percent and ready to defend my title here tonight. MATTHEWS This is obviously your first meeting with Chris Stevens... RODEZ In the ring at least. Matthews nods. MATTHEWS How do you expect things to go tonight? RODEZ Well, hopefully, pretty quickly. See, you know it's Oscars night, right? MATTHEWS Certainly do. Don't tell me you're hoping to get to the red carpet man...no way will you get down there in time. RODEZ Nah, to be honest, the Oscars aren't really my scene. A bunch of anorexic women tottering around in overly expensive shoes and wearing overly expensive dresses that are probably binned and turned into wash cloths the moment the whole thing is over, because they are, like, soooo last season. That and Brad Pitt. Can't stand him. Stealing my damn thunder. And Jennifer Aniston. No, I'm not going to the Oscars. Instead, I've got to be getting off quickly tonight because I'm going to be present a Pussy. Matthews' eyes burst open as his cameraman waves his hand under his chin frantically. Sensing panic, Rodez smiles. RODEZ Relax. The Pussys are the Oscars of the adult film industry world. And, I'm presenting one later tonight. And...considering the content, I MEAN later, if you know what I mean. MATTHEWS ... RODEZ Yeah, I've got a shiny Pussy on my mantlepiece actually. MATTHEWS ... In the background, The GPX grumble away discontently, as they realise Rodez is telling the Pussy story again. RODEZ Best Erotic Sci-Fi. MATTHEWS E...rotic Sci-Fi? RODEZ Yeah. Sells well with the nerd demographic but it's not so popular with the dirty pervert demographic. So...I'm assuming you fall into the..uhm...actually, I don't know which of them you fall into Jay. You ever heard of it? MATTHEWS What? RODEZ The film. MATTHEWS You didn't tell me the name... RODEZ Oh...no. Silly me. It was called "Star Whores: The Phantom Penis". Heard of it? Rodez turns his head to the side, to see Matthews agape, staring into space. Waving his hand across Matthews' face, Rodez gets no reply and chuckles. RODEZ I'll take that as a no then. Well, anyway, that was a while ago obviously. Tonight though...tonight's a big night for me, but one I intend to make a success. Starting with Chris Stevens. I don't know why he suddenly wants the X-Division Title. I don't know why he suddenly has a problem with me either. I remember back when he was still being made the entire roster's bitch. He seemed a cool enough guy. Never had a bad word to say, never gave anyone any problems...never sneak attacked anyone, that's for sure. Now? He's changed man. Hell, I get that he hates Hoff. But me? What have I ever done to him, ever said to him to make him want to sneak attack me...have his buddy throw me into a wall. What could make him hate me all of a sudden? My belt? My dashing good looks? The fact I share a locker room with the hippest team in all the land? Static and Jackson appear into view, flying over with high fives to Rodez before disappearing back off. RODEZ And then it hit me. The guy must be jealous of me for those sorts of reasons...and, all due respect to the GPX, but it's either the belt..or the women. MATTHEWS Are you saying Chris Stevens...plays for the...'other side'. RODEZ Let's just say, if I were looking for someone to accompany me on the roads, I wouldn't be choosing a burly, three hundred pound, old man...and I'm one hundred percent straight. MATTHEWS Well, with that said, I think it's back up to ringside we go! We cut to a view of Sofa Central. In front of the three men is a small table, on which sits 15 inches of hard, shiny, steel. The Anderson Cup. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, its now time for the finals of the tournament which has been entertaining fans across the world this past month on HeldDown - the Anderson Cup. COACH Not only do the winners get this lovely trophy to break in a manner of their own choosing, but they win the right to face Chicks over Dicks for the OAOAST Tag Team Titles on the biggest stage of all, Anglemania. COLE Let's get it awn~! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is the final of the Anderson Cup! *POP!* BUFFER Introducing first... The lights drop! Strobes go KEERRRAZEEE! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... COLE Here come the boys! Johnny & Scotty strut out to a super, mega, PPV sized POP! BUFFER From HOTlanta Georgia, at a total combined weight of 408lbs - they are the former OAOAST Tag Team Champions and the winners of the Los Infernales Conference - Johnny Jackson! Scotty Static! The GLLLLLLLOBAL PARTEEEEEEEEEEEE X-CHANGE~! GPX abandon the dance moves and sprint down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope before scaling the turnbuckles and saluting the crowd. COACH GPX are FIRED UP for this one! CABOOSE Or are they just F-LAMING! No, wait, I can do better than that... Cue: "Quiet" *BOOOOOOOOOOOO!* *YOU SUCK BRANNIGAN!* *FUCK YOU BLACK!* "FUCK ME, JR!" COACH Mikey! Things haven't gotten that bad? BUFFER Aaaand their opponents, accompanied to the ring by the "Farmer of Champions", Jivin' JR, first, from Hollywood California, weighing in at 292lbs, he is the master of the spinebuster, a living legend, this is "T.Bod", Tooneeeeeeee BRRRRRRRRRRANIGAN! His tag team partner, from London England, at 242lbs he is the "Ice Heart" Daaaaaaaaan BLLLLLACK! They are 2 time former tag team champions of the world and the winners of the MWC Conference, THIS! IS! BLLLLLLLLLLACK! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *BLACK-T-SUCKS! BLACK-T-SUCKS!" CABOOSE Well, the crowd should just go buy some milk! Ha! Geddit? Geddit? COLE We don't even like tea in this country. We prefer coffee. Its more manly. CABOOSE You drink milkshakes. COLE Manly milkshakes~! CABOOSE I don't even want to know what's in those. Black T make their way to ringside. Tony wears his trademark shimmering robe and colourful trunks, while Dan is monochrome with black trench coat and halved black and white tights. The more unusual sight is Jivin JR. Tonight's costume of choice for the increasingly unbalanced "Farmer of Champions" is a bulging, green, oversized papier mache alien head and big green foam hands, while he wears a small red uniform. COACH Errr....anybody? COLE ... CABOOSE ... MELVIN NERDLY, aka HELL-MEL I believe Mr. Ross is attempting to represent the character "Kif" from the popular animated series "Futurama" by the creater of "The Simpsons", Mr. Matt Groening our lord and saviour. Why aren't you crossing yourselves?!?! CABOOSE Nerd on the sofa!! Nerd on the sofa!! Security!!! MELVIN Don't you see? "Kif" is the assistant to "Captain Zap Brannigan". And who do we have in this match? "Tony Brannigan"! Why, it's simple, I'm amazed you, Mikey, didn't think of it. COLE Err...I don't know what you mean. I ain't no nerd, mo-fo! MELVIN But we have that special game we play, "Bullies and nerds", you said you- COLE Eek! Security! We're being assaulted! Three large security guards rush in and beat the crap out of Hell-Mel. He's dragged off, bleeding. MELVIN Don't forget, Dungeons and Dragons party on Monday, Mikey! *DING DING DING* While all this was going on, the match ended! Not really! Robes disposed of, tactics discussed, referee checks over with - Dan Black and Johnny Jackson are squared up in the middle of the ring as the final of the Anderson Cup gets underway. COLE These teams, both former champions, have met many times before, but rarely in match as important as this. CABOOSE It's straight 2 on 2. That means Black T wins. The only times GPX have been able to defeat the greatest tag team in the world is when they've gotten a match with no DQ, or TLC, or some other gimmick. Black T are the better wrestling team, we'll see that again tonight. COACH Well, I think GPX have the guts and the heart to take this one. Don't forget, Black T are on a major losing streak in big time matches. Loss to the Love Doctors. Loss to Chicks over Dicks. They might just choke again. Johnny Jackson is talking smack to Dan, who merely stares back, a disapproving sneer on his face. *GEE-PEE-EX! GEE-PEE-EX!* Black at last has had enough and SHOVES Johnny firmly in the chest. Jackson takes a step back, grins, and then BITCH SLAPS Dan, the impact resounding through the arena! Black's head is snapped around, but he brings it back with a cold, hard smile on his face. He points to his cheek and nods at Johnny. COLE Is he asking for another?! What a sick individual! Jackson shrugs, and pulls back his arm for a biiiiiig swing - and Dan ducks it! Forearm! Forearm! Forearm! European uppercut! Headbutt! Johnny is staggered back onto the ropes, where Dan tenderises his chest with a pectoral flaying knife edge CHOP! *WOOOO!* CHOP! *WOOOO!* CHOP! *WOOOO!* Black whips Jackson off the ropes and catches him with a knee to the gut that floors Johnny. *BOOOOO!* CABOOSE What?! They were just "Wooo"-ing Dan's chops! COACH That doesn't mean they like him! Anyone can get chop "Woo"s! Watch! Coach jumps up and chops himself. *WOOOO!* COACH Fuck that really hurt... Black brings Johnny up, another European uppercut, and tries for a snapmare, but Jackson lands on his feet! Dan looks shocked and grabs at JJ, but the GPX member evades him and applies a waistlock. Black runs to the ropes, the sudden stop bouncing Johnny off and away. Dan turns and runs at Jackson, but gets taken over with a deep arm drag. Black back up, and quickly back down again courtesy of a Japanese style arm drag. For a third time, Dan scrambles to 'corner. Tony pats him on the back and gives him some words of support as Black glares at Jackson, who busts some moves in the middle of the ring! *POP!* The Ice Heart tags in his partner. Tony steps into the ring and looks down at his much smaller opponent. Brannigan flexes his sculpted muscles. CABOOSE Look at the physique on that man! What a body! COLE Would you like to touch it? CABOOSE Well, perhaps - hey! Johnny grins at Tony and mimics his poses perfectly, drawing laughter from the crowd. Brannigan growls and grabs Johnny into a headlock. Tony grinds away at the hold. COLE Brannigan going to a very basic hold, but a very effective one. Black T aren't concerned with high flying and crowd pleasing, and if Tony can make Jackson use up all his energy here, Black T can take home the Cup. CABOOSE Why do you say something intelligent one second, and then the next you're a total moron? Do you have someone feeding you things to say or something? COACH Yeah, its his Mom. CABOOSE What?! Your Mom knows about wrestling? Cool...is....is she hot? COLE Dammit Coach! No more of my Mom's special milkshakes for you! Jackson tries to push Brannigan off, but with no success. Tony laughs and applies even more pressure. Scotty Static has seen enough and runs in - but Tony grabs him into a headlock with his other arm! Dan applauds as Tony squeezes both GPX members, and then to add insult gives the crowd the old snake hips! Brannigan's smug grin suddenly vanishes though, to be replaced by an open mouth and shaking head as he finds himself being raised off his feet, up and back and slammed to the mat with a double team belly to back suplex! Johnny & Scotty leap to their feet and high five, bust a move, and then deliver stereo elbow drops to the sternum of Brannigan. Dan Black tries to run in, but our hitherto unmentioned referee, Nick Patrick, blocks him off, allowing GPX to hit another pair of twin elbow drops, before bringing Brannigan off the mat. GPX grab Tony and lift him up with a double team vertical suplex, but instead of completing the move drop the Black T member back down gut first onto the top rope! CABOOSE C'mon referee, blatant double teaming! COLE Like Black T have never performed a duplicitous illegal double team? And don't you think it's rather ironic that if they did, you'd be cheering for it? CABOOSE Duplicitous? Ironic? COLE Thanks Mom! Brannigan is draped over the top rope, breathing hard after the cable drove all the air from his massive body. Johnny grabs him in a front face lock - and, pulling him down off the ropes, spikes him with a DDT onto the top of his head! *OOOOOOH!* Dan Black is in a fury, as Scotty Static pulls the referee away from him and points to Jackson's cover: ONE! TWO! Tony kicks out just before Dan dives for the save. Both members of Black T pick themselves up, but GPX meet them with kicks and forearms, and whip Dan and Tony to the ropes. Jivin' Kif JR grabs their boots to save them from a return trip, but GPX just run after Black T and clothesline them over the top rope to the floor, narrowly avoiding squashing JR! Dan, Tony and Jivin' Kif struggle up to their feet, as GPX look at each other. COACH Ohhh, time to FLY! CABOOSE Hey Coach, you know how you demonstrated the chop earlier? How bout you demonstrate a tope con hilo? COACH Sure! Coach gets to his feet and leaps wildly and randomly over the back of the sofa. In the ring, GPX run the ropes, springing back towards Black T and DIVING over the top rope, slamming into their opponents and propelling them hard into the guard rail! Tony yells in pain as he's crushed against the rail, while Dan looks down to see JR's alien head has been thrust into his groin! His groin, bah gawd! Black pushes JR off, but gets slammed in the back by Johnny Jackson and then flung shoulder first into the steel ring steps! Black connects with a huge clang of metal on bone, and stays down. GPX roll Tony into the ring, and Jackson covers - ONE! TWO! Kickout! Nick Patrick gets Static out of the ring, but Jackson renders this pointless with a prompt tag to his partner. Scotty back in, and GPX whip Brannigan off the ropes. Double team drop toe hold slams Tony hard down onto his face. Scotty picks Brannigan's head up into a chinlock, while Jackson runs the ropes - seated dropkick to Tony's face! Nick Patrick gets Jackson out, as Scotty brings Brannigan up. A couple of forearm shots, and an attempted Irish whip, but Tony shifts his weight and reverses it. Static bounces off the ropes and tries a jumping bodypress, but Tony catches him easily and drops Scotty down across his knee with a hard backbreaker. Brannigan doesn't drop Static, instead keeping him in his grasp. With a display of his power, Tony gets to his feet and delivers another backbreaker, this time allowing Scotty to fall to the mat. COLE Scotty telegraphed that move, and it was an easy catch for Brannigan. CABOOSE Well, I'll give these GPX boys credit for being athletic, daring and brave, but let's face it, they're dumb. They dropped out of school aged 6 and were raised by goats. They can only count up to four because that's how many limbs they have. They don't understand the concept of fingers. Brannigan gets his breath as Static clutches the small of his back, slowly getting to his feet. Tony pummels him with a series of elbows to the back, and then a big, stiff body slam that has Static arching his back, recoiling from the impact of his spine on the hard canvas. On the outside, Dan Black gets to his feet and climbs slowly back to the Black T corner. Brannigan hoists Static up in a vertical suplex, and then drops him down onto the top rope, just like GPX did to him. With Static hung up to dry, Tony goes to work on his back again, with more punches and forearms until Nick Patrick counts the rope break. Scotty slides backwards so his feet are on the apron, and Brannigan pushes Patrick aside to grab him and try to suplex Static back into the ring. Scotty resists, however, and counters, trying to suplex Tony out onto the floor! Dan Black is quick to help his partner however, dropping to the floor and pulling Static's legs out from underhim, so Scotty falls, slamming his face on the edge of the apron. Black grabs him and propells him back first into the guard rail. Then into the side of the ring itself. And finally back into the squared circle. COACH Black T are going after the back of Scotty Static! CABOOSE You just worked that out? This is the Anderson Cup final, what better time and place to pick a body part and work it over? Brannigan brings Static to his feet. Full nelson applied. Tony goes for a full nelson slam, but instead of driving Scotty into the mat, drops down and drives him onto his own knee! A vicious backbreaker! Static yelps in pain, as Johnny Jackson looks on with concern from the apron. For this next assault, Brannigan goes from the innovative to the traditional, hoisting Scotty up onto his shoulders in a torture rack. Tony piles on the pressure to the spine of his opponent and laughs. *BOOOOO!* CABOOSE Just tap, Static, you little b1tch. Johnny has seen enough, and runs in with a dropkick to the midsection of Brannigan, who staggers and falls, but in doing so Static is dropped from the 6'7 height of Tony, slamming hard back first into the mat! He shouts in pain! CABOOSE Haha! Good work, Jackson! COLE That was just unlucky. CABOOSE Well, you retards have to stick together, I guess. Run Mikey, run! Brannigan tags Black. Dan into the ring and whips Scotty to the ropes - tilta whirl backbreaker! HARD impact! Static is draped over Dan's knee as he grins viciously, and lightning quick drags Static into the Heart of Ice! (Crippler Crossface) CABOOSE And now you see why the back is such a great area to target. Dan's practically bending Scotty in half with this hold. And don't forget, Brannigan has the meanest spinebuster since Double A himself. The impact of that on an already damaged back? It's almost obscene. Scotty yells as Dan heaves back on his head with all his strength. Black, annoyed at the lack of an immediate tap out, drops the hold, spits on the back of his hands, and then re-applies it, wiping it into the very eyes of Static! *BOOOOOOO!* COLE Oh, that's just disgusting... CABOOSE C'mon, you know you'd love Dan to spit on you. Infuriated, Johnny Jackson runs in and without hesitation kicks Black twice in the head! Nick Patrick immediately steps in to get JJ out of the ring, and this, of course, is the cue for Tony to enter. Boots to the back of Static, which causes Jackson to struggle even more to get past Nick Patrick. Black then scrapes the battered Scotty up. Hiptoss...onto Brannigan's outstretched knee! Tony picks Scotty up...hiptoss onto Dan's knee! Black T wring out their legs, the repeated impact of Static upon them having done some damage, before setting Scotty up for the 3B! (Combined spinebuster-Rock Bottom) "Jesus fucking Christ Nick! Turn around! Turn the fuck around, man!" yells Jackson desperately, and Patrick does so, just in time to prevent Static falling victim to the lethal move. Patrick tells Brannigan to get out of the ring, or he'll DQ him right now. Tony leaves reluctantly, but Black still has control of Scotty. He brings him in, and DRILLS him with a killer Benoit style Wildbomb! Cover: ONE! TWO! THRE- Johnny breaks it up! COLE Oh god, Scotty isn't moving... CABOOSE Nick Patrick needs to stop this match. I told you, 2 on 2, straight match, GPX are in way over their heads. This is like the Steiner Brothers at their peak vs Too Cool, or something. A slaughter. With Jackson out of the ring, Dan covers again: ONE! TWO! THREE! Kickout! *POP!* "You bloody little bastard" snaps Dan, bringing Static up and applying a waistlock. HARD German suplex. Roll through. Full nelson, fingers clasped - Dragon suplex! No! Scotty blocks it! Black tries again, still blocked! Scotty escapes his grip - and then falters down to one knee, the burst of adrenalin gone. Black with a forearm into the injured back, dropping Static down. Dan strolls over to tag Tony, not noticing Scotty dragging himself towards the opposite corner! Johnny is leaning desperately forwards - but Tony is in and cuts him off with ease. Brannigan with a stinging snap suplex into a cover - ONE! TWO! THREEEEE - kickout! Tony exhales, irritated. He brings Scotty up and sets for a piledriver! COLE Brannigan looking for a knock out blow here. COACH The Attitude Adjustment piledriver could finish Scotty in his weakened state! CABOOSE Coach, show us a piledriver. Coach gets up and jumps in the air, landing on his head. COACH Ow. Brannigan tries for the piledriver - but suddenly his eyes bulge! His face becomes red! CABOOSE Static just hit a low blow! That cheating bastard! DQ! DQ! COLE Hey, GPX know they have to fight dirty. No point sticking to the rules when they know from experience their opponents won't. Brannigan drops back, as Scotty starts to crawl over to the GPX corner. Black screams at Tony to make the tag, but seeing him motionless, moaning softly, Dan jumps in and drags him back to their corner. Black tags himself in! Static makes a final effort, his hand outsretched, Johnny leant as far over as he can, their hands meet - No! Black drags Static off! Double underhooks his arms for the Pitch Black (Angels Wings), but Scotty drops to one knee, becoming dead weight, and Black can't lift him. Dan shrugs and goes for the Heart of Ice instead, but Static fights him off with an elbow to the jaw before he can lock it in. Both men up, Dan with a European uppercut. Black gathers Static in for a belly to belly throw, and hurls him over his head - and Scotty somehow lands on his feet! Dan turns, open mouthed in horror, as Static is able to make the tag to his partner! COLE What athleticism from Scotty! CABOOSE Coach, can you - COACH No! I wouldn't abuse my body any more for your pleasure! Jackson vaults in and nails Dan with a lariat. Black back up and tastes a leg lariat. Dropsault. Arm drag. Dan slides out of the ring and shoves Jivin' Kif to the floor in frustration. Jackson leaps onto the top rope - springboard 450 splash to the floor, right onto Dan and JR! *HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!* COLE Springboard 450! Jackson putting it all on the line to win the Anderson Cup! Black and JJ are down. Tony is using the ropes to pick himself up, still gasping for air. Static is still slumped in his teams corner, trying to even stand against the pain in his back. *GEE-PEE-EX! GEE-PEE-EX!* The crowds chant seems to inspire, bringing Jackson to his feet. Johnny rolls Black into the ring, and sets him in the pumphandle position! COLE Beat drop! Beat drop! B-B-B-B-B-B-Beat drop! Jackson raises Dan with the pumphandle, but Dan struggles and escapes, landing behind Jackson. Black pins his arms back - Tiger Suplex! ONE! TWO! THREE - No! Kick out! Both men rise, Dan reacting first and nailing Jackson with a forearm shot. Whip into the corner, and Dan follows, charging at Jackson with a high knee - but Johnny leaps aside, and Black connects only with turnbuckle, falling to the mat and clutching his knee. Dan hops up, but Johnny grabs his damaged knee - dragonscrew leg whip! Figure 4 leglock! *WOOOOO!* COACH Good thinking from Jackson, going after the knee of Black! It's got to be hurting from dropping Static's back onto it already, and that impact on the turnbuckle has to have caused damage. CABOOSE He's just acting randomly, his last few moves just HAPPEN to make sense. That's all. Black angrily shouts, trapped in the figure 4. Nick Patrick asks him if he wants to quit, to which Dan responds by poking Jackson in the eye, breaking the hold. COLE Patrick being lenient with the rules here, first the low blow, now the eye poke. Clearly, he's under instruction from officials that a clean win is vital here, we don't want a cheap DQ loss in the finals of a what's been a great tournament. Both men back up. Dan grabs the blinded Jackson, hoisiting him up into a Razor's Edge style position. Instead of a powerbomb, however. Black flips JJ over and around and hits him with an Ace Crusher! Black looks down at the fallen Jackson and wipes the sole of his boot in his face! Dan then steps out to the apron and climbs to the top rope. Dan gives the fans the double finger! *BOOOOOO!* And then dives off, arms outstretched, with a beautiful diving headbutt that CONNECTS! Jackson convulses, as Dan clutches his head. Tony is at last restored from his groinal trauma, and yells for Black to roll over and cover, which after a further moment he does. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Shoulder up! Dan rolls back, and looks for the tag to Tony. Johnny starts to pick himself up, looking at Scotty Static. CABOOSE Heh, and now GPX have a problem. Johnny Jackson needs a break, but Static can hardly walk! Jackson, holding his head and giddy, looks at Scotty, who assures him he can go. Johnny makes the tag, as Dan does. Brannigan and Static meet in the middle of the ring, slugging it out ferociously. Tony with the upperhand and the whip to the ropes - where Static rebounds and collapses, even the impact on the ropes on his back causing him pain. Brannigan watches with a cruel smile. He picks up Scotty, and whips him into the ropes again, with Scotty collapsing once more. COLE This is getting desperate for Static. Is there anything he can do now, Coach? COACH He has to hope Tony gets cocky, and makes a mistake. And with an ego like Brannigan's, that just might happen. Tony picks Static up a third time, and now with a whip into the corner. Scotty hits hard and bounces out, staggering forward straight into Tony's grip. Brannigan sets him for a powerbomb. Facing the turnbuckles. COLE Oh no...Tony...you can't... CABOOSE Of course he can. Tony will powerbomb Scotty into the turnbuckles, and then it'll all be over. Brannigan lifts Scotty up high - and he desperately hammers at Tony's head! The Black T member tries to complete the powerbomb, but Static grabs hold of his hair! Furious, Brannigan just runs forward and RAMS Scotty backfirst into the corner. Static falls to the mat, and Tony covers: ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Hand on the ropes! *POP!* Brannigan grabs Nick Patrick, threatening him with various types of bodily harm. He doesn't see Scotty Static crawling over behind him! Static tries to schoolboy Tony - but he doesn't have the strength to pull the 292lb man down! Brannigan turns and laughs. He gribs Static by the throat and brings him up. "OUT. OF BODY. EXPERIENCE!" Tony tells the crowd - but perhaps he shouldn't have announced it quite so loudly, as it brings Johnny Jackson in with a drop kick to Tony's right knee. Dan Black runs in, and gets his knee taken out too! Jackson ducks a swing from Brannigan, grabs him round the head and with a springboard off the second rope hits him with a Tornado DDT! Jackson tries a cover but immediately gets dragged up by Dan Black - KICK WHAM BLACKOUT - but Johnny pushes him off to the ropes, Black rebounds and Jackson jumps up and brings him over with a frankensteiner! Jackson goes for a cover, remembers he isn't legal, and puts Scotty on top, only to have Nick Patrick tell him that Dan isn't legal! Johnny yells at Nick Patrick, who tries to get him out of the ring as Tony and Dan pick themselves up. Brannigan puts Static onto his shoudlers, as Dan climbs to the top rope. Black slips a little in his climb, his knee causing some discomfort, but reaches the top. Dan leaps off with a flying lariat as Black T nail the Doomsday Device on Scotty Static! Brannigan rolls on top for the cover as Black tackles Jackson to the mat - ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* NO! Static kicked out! CABOOSE What the hell?! COLE The time keeper got too excited! He shouldn't have rung the bell! CABOOSE This is bullshit! That was three! However, Nick Patrick clearly tells Tony it was 2 only. Brannigan shakes his head in disbelief. Black releases Jackson to join Tony in intimidating the veteran official. Johnny leaps up for the attack, knocking Brannigan down with a elbow and then propelling Dan out to the floor with a dropkick! Patrick immediately tries to get Jackson out of the ring, as Jivin' Kif slides a steel chair into the ring for Tony. Brannigan grabs it, and prepares to WAFFLE Scotty Static, as the young athlete gets shakily to his feet. But as Tony raises to strike, Static somehow, desperately, sums up the energy to dropkick it back into Brannigan's face! Seeing this, Johnny Jackson keeps our referees attention well away from the action. Tony starts to get back up, and Static grabs the chair, sneaking up behind him - and slamming the edge of the chair between his legs! COLE Low blow with the chair! OWWWWWWW DANGEROOOOUUSS! Scotty with a cradle on Tony! Jackson shoves Patrick back around! ONE! TWO! Dan dives for the save! THREEEEEE! *DING DING DING* Tony kicks out! But this time it was after the three! Nick Patrick awards the pinfall! BUFFER The winners of the match and therefore the winners of the Anderson Cup - GEEEEEEEEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX! CABOOSE No! Bloody hell, what a cheap win! Tony took TWO low blows in this match! What about the next generation of Brannigans? Won't somebody think of the children? COLE I'd have to agree with you 'boosy, that was a cheap win, but thats how bad GPX wanted to win the Anderson Cup! That's how bad they want to go on to Anglemania and regain those tag team titles! Tony and Scotty are both prone on the mat. Dan holds his head in his hands, throughly deflated. Johnny grabs Scotty and drags him out of the ring, where the two claim the Anderson Cup, raising it high above their heads! *POP!* COLE Anglemania IV: Chicks Over Dicks vs GPX. A first time match, and what a match it will be! Edited February 28, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) COLE We are set for our next big one on one matchup LIVE on OAOAST Zero Hour! In a moment we will send you down to Micahel Buffer for the introductions, but first, we have a little flashback for you, to the only other time that these two men met in that very ring, one on one. It was at OAOAST AngleSlam: Screams of No Reply, way back in Two-Thousand Three, in the finals of the Revolution Tournament. Let's take you back to the finsh of that match. *Zero Hour logo flashes over the screen* Axel gets up quickly and runs the ropes ala Kurt Angle! He hits Cappa in the head and puts him on his shoulders! AXEL SLAM OFF THE TOP ROPE! Cole: Oh my god, that was sickening! Axel makes the cover… 1… 2… 3!!! Cole: Axel wins the revolution Tournament! The rookie, the Dark One, has done it! Announcer: Here is your winner and the REVOLUTION TORNAMENT CHAMPION, AXEL! *Zero Hour logo flashes again* *DING DING DING* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! "Breathe" by Fabolous starts up, and the crowd give the theme song the same treatment they give the wrestler who uses the theme song, which is a loud chorus of boos. The Mad Cappa finally makes his presence known to the crowd, and is loving every second of it. The hated star walks down the ramp, verbally fighting with fans all the way to the squared circle, and even stealing a 'Cappa Sucks' sign from a child, before ripping the sign to shreds. COLE That's un-fucking-called for! CABOOSE Doesnt Hardcore Discussion have that copyrighted? COACH Nah, we had it first, remember the Ejac... COLE Seriously, stop right there or no one will read this. Cappa rolls into the ring and looks coldly at the fans once again, relishing the boos. BUFFER Introducing first, now residing in the suburbs of Northern Virginia, weighing in at one hundred eighty-three pounds... THE MAAAAAAAAAAD CAAAAAAAAAPPAAAAAAAAAA! COACH This is Cappa's big shot tonight, he is going up against the hottest guy in the OAOAST right now, the man who is going to AngleMania on March 27 to face the OAOAST Champion in the Main Event, regardless of what happens. COLE And he went through fourteen of the top OAOAST Superstars last month at Anglepalooza to do it Coach. He could be the next World Champion. CABOOSE DREK'S World Champion. COACH That doesn't even make any sense. CABOOSE DREK's That doesn't even make any sense. COLE You're just adding 'Drek' to the beginning of what we say you ass. CABOOSE DREK's You're ju... COLE and COACH SHUT UP! Cappa settles in the ring after his introduction and stretches on the ropes. He the turns his attention to the entrance ramp, when suddenly THE LIGHTS GO OUT! A drum beat begins, which is soon joined by a guitar. "Can you feel that?" The drums and gutar start to get louder, as Cappa waits impatiently in the ring. The fans are now anxiously waiting the arrival of one of their favourite stars. "...shit." "OWWW-A-A-A-A!" BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Disturbed's "Down with the Sickness" begins to blare, and the crowd goes wild as Axel makes his way to the ring. The number one contendor stops halfway down the ramp, pointing to the left side of the crowd, the right, and then to the ring, striking the crucifix pose and setting off a chain reaction of pyro blasts at the top of the entrance ramp. Axel then storms the ring, causing Cappa to exit out the other side, as he wants no piece of a pumped up Axel. BUFFER And his opponent, originally from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia; weighing in tonight at two hundred and fifty-five pounds, he is the LETHAL RUMBLE WINNER... Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXELLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Axel takes off his leather trenchcoat and throws it out of the ring, before going over to the corner allocated to him by the referee, allowing The Mad Cappa to enter the ring without any worry of Axel jumping him. The referee first talks to Axel about the rules of the match, rules which he knows only too well. The ref then goes over to Cappa, who really doesn't want to hear it, as he is akin to breaking whatever rules there are anyway. The OAOAST Official then calls for the two men to meet in the centre of the ring, and calls for the bell, which signals the match to begin. COLE Very deliberate method shown by the referee, both of these guys know that this is a big Pay Per View singles match. For Axel, this match could help him prepare for the Main Event at AngleMania, and could give him some momentum moving toward that event. For Cappa, however, this is a chance to prove to the OAOAST higher-ups that he belongs in the upper echalon of our business, and that he could concievably challenge for the OAOAST Championship in the coming months. COACH And you will notice that Crystal is NOT at ringside for this contest, as Axel wants this match to be straight up, one on one. While I'd love to see my baby girl out here, I can respect Axel for wanting to make this straight up. Axel and Cappa circle the ring, sizing each other up. They finally meet in the centre of the ring in a collar-and-elbow tieup, with both ring warriors jockeying for position and leverage early. Cappa gains the advantage by going behind Axel in a rear waistlock, and attempting to lift him off of the ground for a takedown, but Axel shifts his weight and stays down. Axel tries to grab Cappa's head with his left hand, but finds hair, and is quickly told to stop clasping at the hair. Axel tries again, and this time hooks Cappa's head in his arm, before taking Cappa over his shoudler in a variation of a snapmare. Axel clasps on a side headlock from a grounded position, but Cappa is up quickly and pushes Axel out of the side headlock. Axel comes off of the ropes and toward Cappa, Cappa leapfrogs over his opponent, causing Axel to go to the other side of the ring. Axel comes off the other side ropes, and Cappa is there waiting, taking Axel over with an armdrag, and locking in an armbar. COLE A surprisingly technical start to this match, I would have thought that these two were going to tear into each other! COACH Well Michael, Cappa feels that he is better than Axel and he should be going to AngleMania instead of The Dark One, so I guess that Cappa wants to prove to himself and the HeldDown General Manager Josie that he can outwrestle and outlast Axel. Axel gets to one foot and reverses the armbar into a rear hammerlock, but Cappa quickly reverses it back into a keylock. Axel lets out a small, but audible shout, as his shoulder gets tormented by the keylock. Axel resorts to going backward and behind Cappa, hooking his waist with his free arm, and taking his opponent down with a one-arm back suplex, with the impact on Cappa's back causing him to break the keylock. COACH Smart wrestling by Axel, Cappa had the keylock applied, but obviously not tight enough, not strong enough, as Axel powered out of it with a one arm back suplex. Cappa also landed on the back of his head, and he grabs it in pain, givng Axel an opening to put another side headlock on Cappa. Cappa gets to his feet, sensing that this could potentially be trouble, and puses Axel to the ropes... but Axel holds onto the headlock, taking Cappa down to the mat! Cappa gets up again and tries the same thing, but Axel won't break the headlock, his hands are clasped like a pit bulldog. Axel manages to roll Cappa onto his back and get a quick one count, before his opponent rolls back over to his stomach. COLE Cappa could be getting frustrated here... Cole is right, Cappa is getting very frustrated at his inability to push Axel out of the headlock, so he resorts to the only way he knows how to break a hold - a shot to the kidney of Axel! COLE Well that was uncalled for! CABOOSE Ha! I was waiting for the first shot, that technical bullcrap was boring me to death! Axel grabs his kidney and breaks the headlock, giving Cappa time to attempt a shot to the back of Axel... but Axel turns around and blocks it! Right hand by Axel! A second! A third! Axel steps back, measures a staggering Cappa, and... SMACK! Axel scores the knockdown with his patented uppercut! COACH Axel didn't take too kindly to that kidney shot by Cappa, unloading with a series of blows to the head! COLE So much for the technical start! Axel grabs Cappa by the head and locks in a front face lock. The Dark One hoists Cappa up for a Vertical Suplex, stalling and letting all the blood rush to Cappa's head, before dropping him down in a brainbuster! Floatover cover by Axel on Cappa! ONE... TWOOOOOOOOONO! Cappa kicks out quickly at two. COLE That brainbuster was absolutely perfect by Axel, Cappa's neck must be feeling it right about now. Axel grabs Cappa by the head and picks him up to his feet. Front Facelock applied by Axel, who turns Cappa's head and drops him down with a neckbreaker. Quick cover by Axel, but again a one count. Axel grabs Cappa again, but this time sends him for an Irish Whip. Cappa comes flying off of the ropes and tries a clothesline on Axel, but Axel ducks under. Cappa turns around, and Axel grabs his head, taking him over for a snapmare. Cappa is up again but Axel sends him to the mat a second time, wrenching his neck over for nother snapmare! Cappa is up a third time but soon tastes the same fate, to which Axel follows up with a rear chinlock that has Cappa desperately trying to fight out of it. CABOOSE Dammit ref, get Axel off of him! COACH Axel is focusing a lot on the head and neck of Cappa, perhaps setting up for the Axel Slam, or The Devil's Clutch, even Dark Royalty... hey, all of Axel's finishers revolve around the neck! COLE Well done, Einstein. Cappa fights out of the hold, getting to one leg, and stomping Axel's foot, causing him to break. Axel takes a little too much time this time, as Cappa peppers him with hard right hands, and sends him for an Irish Whip. Axel comes off of the ropes... and is FLOORED by The IMPACT! COLE What a running elbow smash by Cappa! Cappa clutches at his head and neck after the move, as if the realisation of the beating it ad just took dawned on him. Cappa then goes for the cover... ONE....NO! Axel kicks out just after one. COACH Stiff shot by The Mad Cappa there, rattled Axel. Cappa picks Axel up by the hair and measures him, before sending him to the mat again with a knife edged chop that echoes arounhd the arena, causing the crowd to, as they always do around chops, emit a loud 'WOO!' Axel gets up relatively quickly after the first chop, but is sent back down by a second that seems even louder than the first. Axel is up again, but this time meets the fist of Cappa, who connects with two hard shots to the temple, and then one to the stomach, that causes Axel to bend over slightly, giving Cappa the opportunity to get a front face lock, followed quicklyby a Vertical Suplex to Axel. COLE Beautiful suplex by The Mad Cappa, and he might be taking a chance early. Cappa scurries up to the top rope as fast as his 183lbs frame can get him there, steadies, and comes off flying with a leg drop that connects over Axel's chin. Cappa floats over into a cover on Axel... ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Axel kicks out at two, but Cappa doesn't seem concerned as yet. CABOOSE Cappa is showing us something tonight, as I knew he would. COACH Well you're just a regular psychic then, aren't you? CABOOSE I know what you're thinking right now. COACH Oh really? I'm thinking of a word, and its NOT Kitty. CABOOSE Kitty. COACH AHHH! Get out of my head! Cappa picks Axel up once again, and againb goes to the right hands to try and slow Axel down. Irish Whip by Cappa on Axel, Axel comes off of the ropes, and Cappa tries to lift Axel for a Spinebuster, but Axel floats over and behind Cappa. Cappa turns around and avoids an Axel clothesline, before kneeing Axel in the stomach and hitting an X-Factor facebuster! COLE What a facebuster by Cappa, driving Axel's head into the mat! Cover! ONE... TWOOOOOOOONO! Axel kicks out again! Cappa is slightly more frustrated this time, bashing the mat once and asking the ref if that was three, as if the referee is going to suddenly change his mind on the count. COACH Cappa had better not get too frustrated too quickly here, he could give Axel an opening to stay in the match! Axel struggles to his feet, and Cappa is there to meet him again, this time connecting with a right to the jaw, and a boot to the stomach, followed by a measured right hand to the top of the head. Axel staggers around and straight into the arms of The Mad Cappa, who scoops him up, and slams him down to the mat. COLE Cappa's already taken one chance, but two? CABOOSE He knows what he's doing guys, come on, he's got this match all under control. Cappa heads back up to the top rope, and looks at the fallen Axel. He then turns around, and somersaults backwards for a moonsault... ...NOBODY HOME! COACH That Moonsault did NOT compute for Cappa! CABOOSE No! Cappa, get up! GET UP! The referee tends to the two men, Axel down on the mat from the beating he just sustained, and Cappa on the mat clutching his midsection and nose from the missed moonsault. This obviously gives the ref cause to begin his mandatory ten count... ONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOUURRRRRR!!!! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEE!!! On six, Axel begins to stir first, and is soon mey by Cappa, with both men racing to get to thier feet. Before the referee can get to seven, both men are up, and Cappa is gunning for his opponent again, that right hand in position to be used. COLE Who can strike first! CABOOSE Cappa! Cappa winds up and follows through with a right hand... but Axel blocks it, and scores one of his own! A second block by Axel, and a second right hand! A third right! A fourth! Irish Whip by Axel, Cappa reverses, Axel comes off of the ropes, CLOTHESL...NO! Cappa ducks under.... ...and LOCKS IN A SLEEPER! COLE The sleeper hold is locked in! Cappa has the sleeper locked in! CABOOSE Ha-ha! Axel can't escape! Axel desperately tries to get to the ropes, but he can't! Soon, Cappa puts all his weight on Axel's neck, and the Lethal Rumble winner drops to one knee! Both knees! COLE Axel is fading fast! Axel falls to the mat, with Cappa putting all his weight and leverage down on Axel's neck! The crowd are begging Axel to get up, but he seems to be fasing fast! CABOOSE He's done. Finished. Kaput. Cappa smiles at the crowd, who are trying in vain to will Axel on with their cheers and slight 'AX-EL! AX-EL!' chants, but it is no good, as Cappa just applies the hold tighter! COACH Please Axel, you can't fade aw- wait a minute! COLE Here comes some motivation! In a move that has the crowd popping huge, Crystal makes her way out to the ring, obviously concerned for Axel's well being! She runs to ringside, and begins to bash on the canvas outside the ring, cheering her man on! COLE Crystal is cheering for Axel, she's trying to get him to mount a comeback! The crowd clap along with Crystal's bashing of the mat, and the referee checks for signs of life from Axel. The official lifts Axel's arm once, and lets go... and it drops! Axel's arm is rasied a second time... ...and IT DROPS AGAIN! Cappa is smiling from ear to ear, as he knows he';s only a count away from victoy at Zero Hour against the Number One contendor! Axel's arm is raised one more time by the ref, who lets go.... ...BUT IT STAYS IN THE AIR! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" Axel's arm begins to shake violently as the rush of adrenaline overcomes him. He gets to one knee, and then to one leg, despite Cappa's best efforts to stop him. A stiff elbow to the gut by Axel, but Cappa won't break the sleeper. Another, and Cappa has almost let go. A third and final elbow, and the hold is broken, and Axel is free! COLE Axel is free! Crystal willed him out of that hold! COACH What a cheerleader! Cappa, visibly frustrated, screams at Axel and charges, hitting THE IMPAC..NO! Axel ducks under and comes off of the ropes... ... RUNNING ENZIGURI! BOTH MEN DOWN! CABOOSE Aw crap! COLE What impact by Axel in that Running Enziguri! He damn near took Cappa's head off! The referee quickly begins his second ten count of the night, with Crystal, trying again to get her man up with her shouts of encouragment! ONE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRR!!!!! With the crowd chanting along after every number, it becomes clear that these men may not even answer the ten count! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEE!!!! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!! EIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! Finally, after what seems like minutes, Cappa gets to one knee, and then to one leg. Axel is a little way behind him, but still alive in the match. The referee counts 'NIIIIIINNNNNEEE!', and in a moment Cappa is on his feet, not wanting this match to end in a double countout, as he wants this win badly. COACH Both men must be spent in this contest, it has been so back and forth! Cappa grabs Axel by the hair, who is one one leg and one knee. He tries to lift Axel to his feet, but Axel breaks Cappa's hold on his head with both his arms and quickly springs into action! Rght hands, right hands, a boot to the stomach... and an UPPERCUT that sends Cappa to the mat! Axel has his second wind, as he strikes a quick crucifix pose! COLE Axel is running on adrenaline! COACH And loooooooooove! CABOOSE Oh god. Cappa is up to his feet, and Axel uses the opportunity to grab his left hand and send him for an Irish Whip. Cappa comes off of the ropes.... SPIIIIIINNNNEEEBUSSSTAAHHHHH~!~!~~~!!!! COLE BETTER THAN BATISTA'S! COACH AND HOFF'S! The crowd go NUT for the Spinebuster as Axel signals to them that this may very well be the end for Cappa, and the match. He sees Crystal cheering him on in the corner, and flashes her a quick smile, before grabbing Cappa and hoisting him over his shoulder, preparing for Dark Royalty! CABOOSE No! NO! Axel tries to get Cappa in position, but Cappa tries one last ditch effort and slips down Axel's back! Axel turns around, Kick WHA...NO! Cappa tries Bust a Cap, but Axel pushes him off... ...and straight into the referee! COLE Oh no! The referee is down! Axel runs at Cappa and tries a Harlem Sidekick, but Cappa ducks under again! Cappa looks at Axel, steadies his foot... ...and Kicks Axel in the balls... BUST A CAP TO AXEL! COACH THAT WAS A LOW BLOW! Crystal is none too happy about the low blow, quite possibly because it ruined her chances to get some action tonight, so she shows just how pissed off she is by shoving the timekeeper out of the way, and grabbing his steel chair. Cappa, meanwhile, is tauning Axel, and he doesn't see that The Female Phenom has a chair in her possesion. Crystal slides into the ring, and Cappa turns around... ...and EATS STEEL! COLE That'll teach Cappa to mess with her man! Crystal verbally berates Cappa after the shot, looking PISSED OFF. She then sees her boyfriend getting to his feet, and helps him, holding his head and enquiring as to if he's ok. Axel assures Crystal that he is alright, and tells her that he's going to finish Cappa off now. COACH Man, I know that steel chair was cheating, but I can't be mad at my baby girl! Crystal plants a small kiss on the cheek of Axel, and begins to walk away, chair in hand. Axel begins to walk over to Cappa. COLE Well it looks as if... ...Until Crystal floors Axel with the chair. TRIPLE C CROWD AXEL EVERYONE Crystal then throws the chair down and drags a lifeless Cappa onto the fallen body of Axel, as she wakes the referee up and he crawls over to make the count. One. Two. Three. *DING DING DING* "Breathe" begins to play, but no one seems to notice, as the crowd and the announcers are in total shock. COLE Wha-what just happened? COACH I really have no clue. Is this some kind of joke? CABOOSE Oh yeah, a girl hitting her boyfriend over the head wth a chair is a joke Coach. Ha ha very funny motherfucker. Crystal looks down at the work she has done with a look of hatred on her face, a look that soon turns.... to happiness. COLE She-she's SMILING? COACH What the hell just went on here! I WANT ANSWERS! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Cappa rolls out of the ring and out of harms way, getting his hand raised by the referee. But the real story is in the ring, where Crystal is standing, in front of her boyfriend Axel, who is trying to get up, and holding his head COLE I'm in shock. I just can't believe what we just saw. Axel gets to one knee, and turns to face his girlfriend, who is still smiling a wicked, sadistic smile, that we haven't seen from her before. She looks at Axel, who is in a state of disbelief at what just occured. She looks at her now ex boyfriend, shrugs... ...And KICKS A FIELD GOAL between Axel's legs! COLE MY GOD! THAT'S ENOUGH! "Set it Off'' begins to play over the loudspeakers, as Crystal rolls out of the ring, not acnowledging the fans at all, but with the sick smile still present on her face. COACH This... this is just too much guys. That's enough, we really need to go to a commercial or something, because I really can't concentrate right now. COLE I agree, I really don't know how to explain the actions of Crystal there, I guess we should go backstage right now, but we'll be back on OAOAST Zero Hour. CABOOSE Wow. Edited February 28, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) COLE Folks, right now at Zero Hour we're about to go to the ring for a match made just this past Thurdsday. A match that could change the face of the OAOAST as we know it. CABOOSE Change it for the better. COLE Some may think so, some may not. Josie Baker, our new HeldDOWN~! General Manager, has already put herself in quite the predicament, because tonight, she puts that title of authority on the line against the man who has laid claim to this company for the past three years. COACH Yo, but Zack HAS done a lot, Mikey. Even I gotta give a playa props! COLE It's true, Zack Malibu has done more than perhaps anyone for this company. CABOOSE Yeah, he made you the voice of the OAOAST after the IZ/HeldDOWN~! merger. But I do look forward to working with J.R. this Thursday night because I'll de damned if you aren't the first to go after some of the comments you've made in the past about Zack and The Original Elite. Hmm, maybe they'll replace you with Tony Schiavone. Caboose laughs. COLE And that's supposed to scare me? His actions within the last year, the selfishness, the paranoia, and the sadistic drive he's gotten has made him persona non grata. This is a man with no allies, save for Tony and Dan Black, who are equally selfish in thinking that because they have tenure, they have the right to run amuck. CABOOSE Well, don't they? COLE Not in my eyes. And not in the eyes of Josie Baker, who has stepped up to the plate tonight and challenged Zack Malibu to a match for the GM Position with No Holds Barred! CABOOSE I'm so gonna love this. "Vertigo" hits, and the fans go wild, as Zero Hour is now ready for it's next contest of the evening. Josie Baker steps out onto the ramp and raises her arms up, and the sexy young thing, clad in tight jeans and a tied up HI-YAH Rat Pack shirt makes her way to the ring, as Michael Buffer announces her over the PA system. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is for the HeldDOWN~! General Manager position, and will be contested under NO HOLDS BARRED RULES! Coming to the ring at this time, hailing from Hollywood, CA, she is the HeldDOWN~! General Manager, JOOOOOOSSSSSIEEEEEE BAAAAAAAKERRRRRRR! The fans roar as Josie slingshots into the ring, flipping over and landing on her feet, showing off a little bit for the fans. COACH I wonder if she does that in b... CABOOSE Don't say it Coach, don't say it. Josie seems tense, as she stares up the ramp in anticipation of her opponent. A man hated by pretty much everyone these days, although he loves every minute of it. "Getting Away With Murder" is cued up, and the lights dim for the entrance of the man once heralded as the OAOAST's most popular superstar comes out, pushing his girlfriend Candie in a wheelchair! COLE Oh how cute. CABOOSE Shaddup, queerbait. At least he's got a girl to spoil. BUFFER Her opponent, accompanied by Candie, is the former two time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. From Providence, RI, he is "The Franchise of the OAOAST", ZAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUU! CABOOSE (whistles) Give it up for our new boss, Zack Malibu. COLE Here's a napkin to wipe the brown on your nose. CABOOSE Here's the napkin back at you so you can wipe the blood from your nose. Candie pulls Zack down for a kiss before he enters the ring, then rolls her chair back away from the ring, sitting about halfway up the ramp. Malibu steps through the ropes...and IMMEDIATELY charges Josie, catching her off guard and flooring her with a lariat! CABOOSE This'll be over soon. Quick, but definitely not painless. Malibu puts the boots to Josie and drags her to her feet, shoving her hard back into the corner before tugging her hair and bieling her across the ring! Josie claws at the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but Malibu turns her around and pushes her up, pressing her up over his head and walking around with her in the air, cockily smiling to the audience before simply releasing his grip on her, letting her fall down to the canvas! COLE Release press slam by Malibu, who does not appear to be taking this seriously at all! Malibu takes Josie and rolls her over, putting a foot on her chest and calling for referee Earl Hebner to come and count the fall! ONE! TW-KICKOUT! Josie rolls a shoulder up, so what does Zack do? He quickly drops an elbow onto her, preventing her from getting up. Malibu then rolls onto his stomach, putting his face right next to Josie's ear and shouting "It didn't have to be like this!" to her before pulling her up and whipping her into the ropes, leaping up to rana her o...NO! Josie hangs onto the ropes, and nearly collapses in the process, as Malibu falls down onto his back! Zack quickly scrambles to his feet...AND GETS TACKLED OUT OF HIS BOOTS BY JOSIE BAKER! The GM is pounding away on Zack, who tries to cover up, then simply shoves Josie off of him. An angered Zack gets to his feet and charges her at full speed, looking to crack her across the mouth with a YAKUZA KICK...BUT JOSIE MOVES, AND ZACK RUNS RIGHT INTO THE ROPES, CROTCHING HIMSELF! COACH Ooooooooooooh! COLE Malibu shooting blanks. The fans roar, and roar again as Josie grabs Zack by the ankle and tosses him over the ropes down to the floor! Josie wanders the ring for a moment, waiting for Zack to recover...then runs to the turnbuckles and leaps off of them down onto Zack and taking him out with a flying crossbody to the floor! COLE Josie Baker getting high tonight! CABOOSE Isn't that grounds for termination? Get me a urine sample stat. COACH Can I be the cup? COLE and CABOOSE ... COACH GOTCHA, SUCKAS! Josie's onslaught doesn't stop there, as she helps Zack to his feet and then lifts him up, dropping him across the guardail crotch first! Malibu howls in pain, and Josie follows up by leaping onto the guardrail, then jumping up onto his shoulders, taking him off the railing the hardway with a snap huracanrana! Josie gets up and flips her hair back, thinking of her next move, when all of a sudden the fans start jeering loudly. COLE Oh come on, what are they doing? Cole's referring to the reason that the fans are booing, as the cameras cut to see BLACK T coming down the ramp! Still dressed in their wrestling gear after losing in the Anderson Cup Finals earlier tonight, Tony and Dan walk by Candie, who can only smirk upon seeing her boyfriend's buddies coming out. Josie quickly rolls into the ring, looking at the two-time tag champs as they each step down off the ramp and stand on a side of the ring, cornering Josie! COLE What are they going to do? CABOOSE Whatever it is, it's all legal! It's no holds barred! No holds barrrred! COACH That was such a good movie, wasn't it? CABOOSE ...just die. Josie looks to her right, then to her left, trapped by Black T...but now out from the back in street clothes rush JAMES BLOND and FAQU! CABOOSE What are those misfits doing back? The returning *ahem* superstars hit the ring, and Dan and Tony quickly turn their attention to them, getting into a brawl in the middle of the ring! As the two tag teams fight Josie stands back, but Malibu has crawled into the ring, holding a steel chair in his hand...AND BRINGS IT ACROSS THE BACK OF JOSIE BAKER! Malibu covers, but then sees the melee going on across the ring that is distracting Earl Hebner. Frustrated, Zack comes and helps Tony dump Faqu to the outside, as Dan clotheslines James Blonde over the ropes, and then turns back to Josie and goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! NO! COLE Josie Baker takes a chairshot and keeps on coming! Malibu slams his hand on the canvas, getting up and crouching down, focusing intently on Josie as the two tag teams continue to brawl at ringside, keeping the fans in a frenzy! Josie pushes up onto her knees, then her feet, and turns around...RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S...NO, SHE COUNTERS WITH A SCHOOLBOY! ONE! T-NO! Malibu kicks out, and immediately comes to his feet. Before Josie can do anything, she finds her arms trapped behind her, as Dan Black comes and snags her in a full nelson! Malibu quickly brings a leg up, firing his boot towards Josie...AND JAMES BLONDE SLAMS THE CHAIR INTO DAN'S BACK, RELEASING HIS GRIP...JOSIE FALLS FORWARD, and DAN TAKES THE SCHOOL'S OUT! CABOOSE DAMN! Josie quickly stuns Zack with a low blow, and cradles him in a small package! ONE! TWO! NO! Malibu kicks out and gets back up, then spikes Josie with a DDT! As he gets up James Blonde comes over, but Malibu gives him a low blow, then bounces off the ropes and drives his knee into the side of his head with a Zack Attack that sends Blonde falling through the ropes out to the floor! Malibu then slides out of the ring behind Faqu, who is trading punches with Tony...AND SUPERKICKS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, FOLLOWED BY A TONY OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE SPINEBUSTER ON THE MAT OUTSIDE! COLE T.O.E. with the heavy hitting combo, and the big Samoan is down! Malibu calls Tony up into the ring, and Tony follows, wondering what happened to Dan as he's out cold on the mat. Malibu tells him not to worry, and picks Josie up, making the motion that they should spike piledrive her! COLE They want to break her neck! Tony and Zack high five, and Tony takes the beaten GM into a headscissors, raising his arms up in triump before reaching down to hook Josie's waist...BUT HE GETS BACKDROPPED OVER! JOSIE TURNS AROUND...SCHOOL'S OUT! MALIBU WAS PREPARED! ONE! TWO! NO! THE PIN IS BROKEN UP BY A SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP! CABOOSE Who in the... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" COLE That's K-MONEY! Josie's husband is back in an OAOAST ring! Clad in street clothes, the man known on his birth certificate as Ken Baker works the crowd for a moment before kicking a charging Tony in the stomach and taking his head, running the ropes...AND HITS SLICED BREAD #3! Tony rolls out of the ring, as Malibu is trying to get up, holding the chair up with him...AND KEN BAKER HITS A DEVIL DOLL INTO THE CHAIR, KNOCKING ZACK MALIBU INTO NEXT WEEK THIS WEEK! Ken puts his wife on top, and the fans are positively apeshit! ONE! TWO! THREE! CABOOSE NOOOO! * DING DING DING * The bell sounds, and the arena erupts, as Ken Baker pulls Josie to her feet, holding her in a tight embrace. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and STILL HeldDOWN~! General Manager...JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSIEEEEEEE BAAAAAAKERRRRRRR! "Vertigo" hits, and The Bakers, along with Blonde and Faqu, holding his back, still feeling the effects of the Out-of-Body Experience on the floor, exit the ring, walking up the ramp only to see an irate Candie shouting from her wheelchair. Candie puts her fists up like a prizefighter would, challenging them all to fight her, but they simply walk past, ignoring her. That is, until Josie takes the wheelchair and sends it careening down the rampway, crashing into the ropes! COACH YO! CABOOSE She can't do that! COLE She just did! CABOOSE Ooooh, good one! Josie, her husband, and the newest oldest OAOAST tag team stand atop the ramp, all raising their hands high and getting quite the ovation from the crowd. CABOOSE A female GM, a retired Mr. Mom, and two jabronis. What has this company turned into? COLE Why don't you ask the guys it belongs to? Cole is of course referring to The Original Elite, all smarting from that beating and getting to their feet in the middle of the ring. Dan and Zack go to aid Tony, but Zack moves away, seeing Candie pinned under her wheelchair thanks to Josie. Zack helps Candie back into her chair, then goes back into the ring and helps his partners recover, stomping his feet and nearly pouting after being had once again by a female on the OAOAST roster. COLE For the second month in a row, The Original Elite have been less than elite on pay-per-view, losing all their matches. And Zack Malibu, for all his charm and charisma, has struck out with all the ladies in the company! CABOOSE Just like Coach! COACH Yea...HEY! The Original Elite exit the ring, with Zack hunched over the handles of Candie's wheelchair as he pushes it up the ramp. The catcalls of the fans draw the ire of Black T, who shout back threats to the ticket buyers, while a somber Zack just disappears through the curtain with Candie, having lost a chance at more power in the company tonight at Zero Hour. Edited February 27, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) We look through a red, circular lens. There is computer jargon all over the place. The scene we are shown through the lens is of the DoC. We are in K.U.R.T.’s point of view! PHENOM You know what to do, K.U.R.T.? K.U.R.T. beeps, signaling affirmation. PHENOM Well, good luck, little buddy! K.U.R.T. turns away from the Disciples and starts flying around the corner. We see him pass through various backstage workers, a few no-names, Josie Baker (ZOMG~!) until arriving at a door marked “Popick”. K.U.R.T. waits a moment. Suddenly, Italian Champion Steven J. Popick opens the door! He looks at K.U.R.T. POPICK Well, look who’s here. It’s the flying toaster. How you doin’, toaster? K.U.R.T. makes no movement, outside of floating. POPICK How about a face full of BELT? Popick BELTSHOTS~! K.U.R.T., but his armour platting makes the belt bounce off him and straight back to Popick! And of course, K.U.R.T. stings him before flying away. POPICK (o/c) I’ll get you, Disciples of Chaos! We return to ringside, just as the opening riff of "Bound For The Floor" by Local H kicks in, to rapturous boos from the fans. The arena lights glow a dark blue, as Chris Stevens emerges through the curtains, flanked by the monstrous 'Jumbo', both stopping on the stage and scowling into the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is your next match of OAOAST Zero Hour! Scheduled for one fall, it is for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! Introducing first, the challenger. Being led to the ring by his bodyguard 'JJJUUUUMBBOOOO!'...he hails from Rochester, Minnesota and weighs two hundred twenty one pounds. This is CCHHHHHRRRRRRRIIIIISSSSSSSS!! SSSSSSSTTEEEEEEEVVVEEEENNNNSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd go crazy in hate, as Stevens climbs up the steps and enters the ring. His face is a picture of determination as he leans over the ropes, smirking down at the fans at ringside and making the 'belt motion' around his waist. Boos greets Stevens, as he does the same thing on the opposite side of the ring. COLE This crowd certainly not warming to Chris Stevens, who is of course a Minnesota native. COACH And hated rival of hometown boy Hoff. Stevens bounds over to the next side of the ring... *GOOOOONG!* "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" But gets interrupted by a HUGE pop! "GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN!" The crowd starts to bop their heads along to Kool And The Gang's "Jungle Boogie", as eventually the X-Division Champion storms out through the curtains. He gets another roar from the crowd, which brings a growl to the face of Stevens. BUFFER And introducing his opponent. From Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred and eighteen pounds...he is the current, reigning and defending OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPION..."SILKY SMOOOOOOOOTTTHHHH!!!" LLLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOONN!! RRRRROOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Rodez tags some hands on his way to the ring, taking a detour to give some ringside females pecks on the cheek, before he leaps to the apron and disrobes. The cheers and screams again seem to get to Stevens as Rodez unstraps his X-Title. Stevens meanwhile thinks about a sneak attack. But Rodez turns to meet him, dangling the X-Title tauntingly in front of Stevens for a moment before raising it above his head. COLE Leon Rodez, rapidly approaching four months as OAOAST X-Division Champion. And in that time, he's faced and beaten some very worthy contenders. CABOOSE But, he's never faced or beaten Chris Stevens. COLE Well, that's true. CABOOSE And don't forget Rodez's rough Thursday night. He might have seemed okay earlier, but his knee simply can't be one hundred percent after the match with Vitamin X. COACH Yeah, but Stevens got his ass kicked on Thursday night too. Rodez enters the ring and passes assigned referee Charles Robinson the X Division Title, which Lil' Naitch shows to Stevens before raising it for the crowd. Still focused, Stevens tries to loosen up, not taking his eyes off of Rodez as he does so. "RO - DEZ! RO -DEZ! RO - DEZ!" Smiling, Rodez eggs on the crowd to the chagrin of Stevens. *DING DING DING* Meanwhile, Robinson calls for the bell and we are underway. Neither champion or challenger bursts out of the gates at the bell though. Instead, the two slowly advance towards the centre of the ring, eyes locked as they meet in the middle and go face to face. Words are clearly exchanged between the two and Stevens starts to poke Rodez in the chest to further get his point across. Rodez just smirks through it all though... *SLAP!* ...until he recieves a slap to the face! Clutching his cheek, Rodez fumes as its Stevens now who smirks away to himself. Rodez comes back up and swings his arm around, catching Stevens unawares by pulling him into a side headlock. Quickly, the challenger backs Rodez into the ropes and shoves him off, looking for a clothesline. Rodez ducks and hits the opposite ropes, charging on at full speed and hitting a shoulder block...but Stevens stands his ground. Both men stop dead and glare at each other before Stevens encourages Rodez to try again. Which he does, getting as much run-up as possible...but again, neither man budges more than a few inches and neither goes down. This time, Rodez tells Stevens to try his luck. So Stevens hits the ropes, but Rodez leapfrogs him on the way back, before catching Stevens on the rebound with a back elbow that sends Stevens scurrying to the floor! COLE Rodez suckered the challenger into that one! Angrily Stevens rants and raves at Rodez from the floor with Jumbo glaring from beside him. But suddenly, both have to duck and cover as Rodez charges, faking a dive and casually bouncing off the ropes. Which is lucky for Jumbo, who makes it about two steps before Rodez's fake. Stevens meanwhile rolls into the ring, trying to catch Rodez unawares. But he runs into a clothesline! And a second! Followed with a BAAAAACK body drop that has Stevens reeling! Rodez quickly charges Stevens, pushing him back into the ropes before whipping him across the ring. Leaping early, Rodez manages to land on his feet as Stevens clings onto the top rope to stop his momentum, recovering to charge towards the challenger. Stevens ducks his head, ready to backdrop Rodez over to the floor. But the X-Champion is one step ahead, sliding through Stevens' legs and tripping him up! "NOT TODAY BEH-BAY!" The challenger's face bounces off the canvas and he groggily gets back up. Rodez meanwhile clambers back onto the apron, in time to catch the reeling Stevens with a shoulder barge through the ropes. And a second. Over doubles Stevens, as Rodez pulls his head through the ropes, lining Stevens up before SMASHING him in the jaw with a knee!! COLE What a SHOT! Stevens writhes in pain, head hanging over the middle rope. Rodez enters the ring beside him and quickly ripples a kick into the challenger's kidneys...BEFORE DOIN' THE DANCIN'! CABOOSE Not this again. COLE It seems Leon Rodez wants to embarrass Chris Stevens as much as hurt him...and this would do both! Rodez sprints off the ropes, charging back at Stevens and driving all his bodyweight into the spine of the challenger!! COACH Call That Bitch Bojangles~! Bouncing off of Stevens, the suddenly fired up Rodez signals that he ready to end this one. Up staggers Stevens, seemingly lost as Rodez lines him up...but doesn't expect a Stevens basement dropkick that strikes Rodez square in the knee. Rodez's leg shoots out from underneath him, causing him to collapse to the canvas clutching his leg, as Stevens points out his cerebralness to the crowd. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stevens ruthlessly goes to work with some stomps across the knee of the Silky Smooth One as the boos continue to rain down on him. Reaching down, the challenger then drags Rodez up, taking his time over nailing a forearm. Stevens follows up with a second before shoving Rodez back into the corner. Following in, Stevens nails a European uppercut. Rodez tries to shake it off, but Stevens quickly hits a second, before stomping at the knee again. Pushing Stevens off, Leon tries to come out swinging. Stevens meets him with a firm punt to the kneecap though, again dropping Rodez. COLE Well, the knee is clearly not okay, as you predicted Boose. CABOOSE What can I say? I know what I'm talking about. Howling in agony, Rodez clutches his knee, Stevens standing over him and measuring a stomp to the head. Stevens then pulls up Rodez, hooking up and executing a vertical suplex, with a floatover... 1... 2... Quick kickout by Rodez, but Stevens is already floating over once more and clutching Rodez's leg as he does so. With his free leg, Rodez frantically kicks away Stevens and hobbles up in a hurry. Stevens lines up another kick. Rodez is nimble enough to hop away from the kick though, before cracking Stevens with another back elbow. Staggering away, Stevens clutches his nose and gives Rodez the time to shake off his leg and 'charge' through him with a clothesline. Stevens bounces back up, as Rodez looks for another clothesline...DUCKED...but Rodez ducks Stevens' following right hand as he turns, applying a waistlock. But that doesn't last long, as Stevens kicks back and hits Rodez in the kneecap a couple of times, continuing the kicking until Rodez lets go. As he does, Stevens is quick to hit the ropes again and connect with another dropkick to the knee to take Rodez down. COLE This isn't pretty, especially for an X-Division Match...but I'm not sure we expected it to be. CABOOSE Not with Rodez's condition. It was obvious what Stevens' strategy would be and sure enough, he's sticking right to it. And with a bad knee, there's little Rodez can do to make this match 'pretty'. Stevens this time positions himself over Rodez, reaches down and applying a half boston crab. As he sits in, Rodez curses away, while Stevens makes sure to bend and twist the knee as much as possible. "RO - DEZ! RO - DEZ! RO - DEZ!" The chants rise through the Target Center, as Rodez grits his teeth while reaching out for the ropes. Stevens hangs on tightly though. Rodez begins to crawl to shakes of the head from Stevens, but his head shaking does no good, as Rodez...REACHES THE ROPES! A cheer goes up, but Stevens doesn't completely let Rodez go. Instead, Stevens lifts Rodez's leg by the ankle before slamming it down into the mat. Stevens follows up with a stomp just for good measure, before smirking out into the crowd. COLE Stevens has things going his way. He just needs to keep his focus... CABOOSE In the face of these abusive Minnesota morons! Stevens grabs Rodez's leg again, slamming it to the canvas a second time. Again the boos are haunting Stevens, but again he makes the 'belt motion' around his waist with a smirk. Rodez is meanwhile using the ropes to pull himself up. Stevens catches him coming with a boot to the gut though. Followed by right hands that rock Rodez. Stevens grabs Rodez and whips him across the ring, waiting for Rodez to bounce back before launching another dropkick low. The boots catch Rodez in the thight and he shoots up, landing SPIKED on his head. Seeing this, Stevens decides to make a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Stevens is quickly back up, laying in more vicious stomps. Rodez tries to fight them off but Stevens keeps kicking until finally Robinson has to pull him away. Shoving Robinson away, Stevens goes back over to Rodez and pulls him up. With a snarl, he then cups a hand under Rodez's jaw, pulling his head to face up at him...before spitting some more insults at him. COACH Man, something is eating away at Stevens tonight guys! CABOOSE Yeah...his home state fans turning their backs on him. COLE That and the fact HOFF~! has a chance at recapturing the World Title later on tonight. CABOOSE What does that have to do with this match? With Rodez still on his knees, Stevens hits the ropes and charges headlong at Rodez...WHO DUCKS A KNEE. Stevens sprawls forward, turning eventually on his heels. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...to be met with a stinging knifedge. Stevens clutches his chest but quickly goes to the knee with a kick. But Rodez fights the pain... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops again! Stevens again feels the TINGLING~! and clutches his chest, which allows Rodez to attempt an irish whip. Stevens reverses the whip, only for Rodez to spin under and whip again...only for Stevens to reverse a SECOND time. All the reversals give Jumbo enough time to lumber over and trip Rodez as he hits the ropes! COLE Oh come ON! Despite hitting hard, Rodez is quickly up... *SMACK!* ...but quickly back down, courtesy of a superkick!! Stevens dives on top of Rodez and cradles the legs... 1... 2... Kickout at 2!! COLE Well, it didn't take long for Jumbo to interject himself into the match. CABOOSE ... COLE You're not going to argue that 'Boose? CABOOSE Nope. COLE ...oh. COACH PWNED~! Pulling Rodez back up, Stevens picks the bad leg of the champion and snapping an uppercut across the back of Rodez's knee. A second almost causes Rodez to buckle from the pain, but he stays up. Stevens pulls him over with a quick dragon screw though to put an end to his resiliance. Straight from that, Stevens whips around Rodez's leg with a figure four in mind...but Rodez grabs a handful of Stevens' hair and fires off a right hand! A second! Grabbing the hair again, Rodez goes for a third, but Stevens suddenly WRENCHES at the knee with almost a spinning toe-hold which stops Rodez in his tracks. And with Rodez hurt, the challenger takes the opportunity to quickly apply the figure four leglock! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" CABOOSE WOOOOO! Time to go to school boys! This one's gonna be over right here! COLE Rodez has got to escape this figure four and quickly, because I'm sure his knee cannot take much of this hold. With his hands clenched to his face, Rodez moans and groans with every Stevens wrench of the hold, the challenger pushing up onto his hands to apply more pressure on the hold. The pain is clear, as Rodez pushes up to face Stevens for a moment. But he quickly collapses back... 1... 2... Rodez pushes off of his shoulder, almost forgetting where he was. Stevens has the hold applied tightly and Rodez, glancing towards the ropes, seems out of reach. Still, he tries to move towards the ropes. Stevens pushes up again, causing another howl from Rodez. The champion grits his teeth through the pain for another attempt at dragging himself to safety. But again Stevens wrenches the hold, which causes Rodez to fall to the mat again... 1... 2... THR--NOO! Rodez JUST pushes off the canvas in time! COLE Wow, that was shockingly close. COACH When was the last time anyone got pinned with a figure four anyway? COLE Uhm... CABOOSE Aah... COLE Hmm... CABOOSE Well... COACH ...I broke the fourth wall again, didn't I? "RO - DEZ! RO - DEZ! RO - DEZ!" The crowd rally behind the X-Champion as his face contorts in agony. But suddenly, his right arm shoots up, as he tries to lean his weight over. Stevens shakes his head 'NO', wrenching again. But Rodez still tries to turn, leaning up to the left, pushed onto his hip. Looking worried, Stevens starts to jump up and down with the hold in an attempt to stop Rodez from turning. The chants continue to grow meanwhile, as Stevens tries to claw his fingers into the mat... ...as Rodez falls back to the left... ...and catches Stevens napping, turning to the left with the challenger's own momentum and REVERSING THE HOLD!!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The crowd pop, but Stevens is close enough to the ropes to quickly grab them and force an almost immediate break. COLE Leon Rodez escapes for now, but the damage may have already been done! Climbing back up, Stevens waits for Rodez to drag himself up before kicking him in the back of the knee. Rodez falls with his throat across the middle rope, hand clutched to his knee. A knee to the back puts him right on the rope though. Smirking, Stevens then places a knee in the back of Rodez's neck, choking him on the ropes!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Robinson issues a count of 4 before Stevens releases, backing up with a look of innocence. And drawing away Robinson. ALLOWING JUMBO TO CLOCK RODEZ WITH A RIGHT HAND!! COLE Damn it, this is a glorified handicap match!! CABOOSE You need to get some new material Mickey...that's twice in four days. COACH MAH BABY GUUUURRRRRRRLLLLLLL~~!! Rodez collapses back off the ropes, with Stevens quickly diving onto him and making a lateral press... 1... 2... 3..NO!! Angered at not getting the pin, Stevens glares at Robinson and questions the count. He then clambers up, bringing Rodez with him...but getting rocked with a headbutt to the solar plexus! The wind rushes out of Stevens, but he quickly clubs Rodez across the shoulder blades. But gets a second headbutt drilled into his mid-drift. Stevens doubles over this time. However, as Rodez tries a third headbutt, Stevens traps Rodez in a front facelock. Rodez tries to punch himself free, but suddenly Stevens starts to backtrack, bringing Rodez with him...and almost battering rams his head, backwards, into the middle turnbuckle!! Staggering out, the X-Champ is disorientated, long enough for Stevens to hit the opposite ropes and chopblo...NO! Rodez somehow hurdles the chopblock, catching Stevens as he turns around and SPIKING him on his head with a DDT!! COLE Desperation move! But what an effective one. The impact flips Stevens over onto his back. And despite being in serious pain, Rodez drops an arm over Stevens' torso for the cover... 1... 2... THR--NO!!!!!! Just two! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd groan as Stevens' shoulder shoots off the mat. Rodez groans too, limping to one corner of the ring and encouraging up the challenger. Up comes Stevens as Rodez tries to charge him once more. But his knee tweaks on him and hampers his run, giving Stevens time to catch him coming and whip Rodez around with a SPINEBUSTAAAAAAA~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" CABOOSE OMGBETTERTHANHOFF'S2K5~~!!11!1! The crowd go absolutely nuts with jeers as Stevens pops right back up and mockingly strikes a pose. As he's doing so though, Rodez is taking the opportunity to wearily roll out of the ring and to the floor. Stevens turns and spots Rodez, going to leave the ring after him... "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" ...but stops, as the chants of his arch nemesis rise in the air. CABOOSE This isn't smart...they're going to get him angry. And you won't like him when he gets angry~! Indeed, Stevens is pissed at the chants being directed at him. Shouting at the crowd to shut up only makes them louder though, so Stevens shrugs off the chants and exits the ring. Rodez is crouched on the outside. Easy picking for Stevens...or, maybe not so easy, as Stevens walks straight into a shove in the ass...that sends him crashing head first into the steel ringpost with a CLUNK! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stevens collapses to an uproarious cheer. Both Rodez and Stevens are hurting now as Jumbo waddles around to check on his man. The challenger is helped to his feet by Jumbo, while Rodez is gingerly rolling back into the ring on the adjacent side. Rodez limps over as the half conscious Stevens is bundled back in, sent to the lions perhaps as Rodez pulls him straight up. Quickly Rodez hooks on a waistlock, looking for a German. But he doesn't have the strength in his one good leg to execute the move, so pushes Stevens off and instead looks for a reverse DDT. Twisting in, Stevens charges Rodez into the turnbuckles and follows in with a second shoulder barge before coming out, trying for a northern lights...but Rodez uses his good leg for a knee to the gut to block. Landing back on his feet, Rodez fires in some more knees, before again escaping behind into an inverted front facelock. Stevens reaches up, grabbing Rodez by the head. But the Silky Smooth One flips Stevens up and over, into the Street Smarts!! Stevens' head snaps back and he collapses to the mat, as Rodez makes a cover... 1... 2... THR--NO!!!!!! Just a two count!! COLE Rodez clutches his head in his hands...he KNOWS that was close! CABOOSE But not close enough. Rodez limps back up again, running his thumb across his throat. Stevens stumbles over to him and Rodez ducks underneath a flailing arm, as Stevens turns around...and gets jabbed! A jab! A jab! A jab! ...but the fifth is ducked, Stevens waiting for Rodez to turn back around before nailing HIM with a jab! A jab! COLE Surely not! A jab! A jab! ...and the fifth is ducked by RODEZ, catching Stevens coming around and dropping him with a front spinebuster!! COLE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT THAN HOFF'S!! Stevens' head bounces off the mat as Rodez stops, tilts his head...and realising what Stevens is in position for. CABOOSE He wouldn't be that stupid, surely? Not with a bad le... With a smile, Rodez exits and begins to climb towards the top rope! CABOOSE ...nevermind. The crowd rise up as Rodez slowly, gingerly scales the turnbuckles. But as he does so, Jumbo tries to climb up onto the apron. That distracts Rodez and he's forced to adjust his position, to kick Jumbo in the face and knock him back off to the floor!! Jumbo hits the concrete, causing a .5 as he smacks off the protective mats. But the distraction worked well enough, as Stevens reaches up and flips Rodez off the top rope, down into the mat with a slam!! Rodez groans and clutches his ribs...while Stevens says to hell with it and begins to climb to the top rope himself. COLE And now, Stevens is going up top...looking for the Frog Splash no doubt! CABOOSE If he hits this, then it'll be over. Rodez's knee won't even come into play. It'll be done. Stevens reaches the top and finally notices Jumbo lying on the floor. But he does his best to ignore his bodyguard as he turns back to Rodez, leaping off... *WHAM!* "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" ...and MISSING THE FROG SPLASH!! Stevens pulls himself quickly up, getting caught by Rodez in a double underhook...which Stevens spins out of. Looking for a short-arm clothesline, Stevens flails as Rodez ducks underneath and hits the ropes, coming back and SPEARING Stevens out of his boots! The challenger grabs his ribs, but suddenly has to try and grab the ropes, as Rodez tries to apply the Chick Magnet. His bad leg hampers the effort though and Stevens is able to roll free, getting back up and eating a diving clothesline!! Stevens stays down this time. But Rodez is quick to pull him up anyway, applying the double underhook. Stevens lifts himself up quickly to counter, looking for a backdrop. But Rodez hangs onto the double underhook defiantly, twisting back into position and hitting a Tiger Driver!! 1... 2... THRE --NO!!!!! STEVENS KICKS OUT!! But Rodez bunches Stevens back over onto his front and APPLIES THE CHICK MAGNET!! COLE WOAH! From out of nowhere, Rodez has him trapped!! The Chick Magnet is in! Stevens tries to shake his head loose of the cravaté, but Rodez gets it in and suddenly, Stevens is the one howling in agony. The crowd erupt as Stevens starts to panic in the hold, his back to the ropes as Rodez clings onto the hold... "TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!" Stevens tries to hold out, if only to piss off the crowd. Rodez meanwhile tightens his grip, Stevens' neck being twisted like a bottlecap as he tries to fight against the hold. Jumbo is up now, trying to encourage Stevens over with motions rather than words, pleading for him to hang on... ...BUT STEVENS TAPS OUT!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GOT HIM! COACH Wow! Rodez releases the hold and instantly tends to his knee, as Robinson raises an arm in Rodez's victory. COLE This one is over and Leon Rodez, proves once again, that the Chick Magnet is one of the OAOAST's most deadly submission holds!! The crowd go wild, as Rodez gingerly pulls himself up, smiling through the pain. BUFFER Your winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST X-Division Champion...LLEEEEOOOONN RRRRROOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cheers fill the air as Rodez is passed his X-Division Title, rolling out of the ring and limping over to celebrate with his female fans in the front row again. Meanwhile, Jumbo rolls in to check on Stevens, who's head is in his hands from both pain and embarrassment. Rodez looks on and smiles again, limping off up the rampway with his belt hanging over his shoulder triumphantly. COLE I tell you what, that was an impressive victory tonight. CABOOSE Chris didn't seem on his game tonight. The fans got to him, it cost him. But there'll be other nights and better crowds for Chris Stevens. COLE It could be a VERY bad night for Stevens, should Hoff win tonight...while for Leon Rodez, AngleMania IV awaits the X-Division Champion. And he's going in on one heck of a roll! Edited February 28, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephen Joseph 0 Report post Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) A green screen comes up, similar to the one you see during the Coming Attractions before a movie. “The following has been approved for all audiences by the Boise Chamber of Congress and the Idaho Film Board” A helicopter flies at night over the city of Boise, Idaho. It’s not as breathtaking as flying over LA, but we’re not in LA, are we? Gentle music plays and a voice is heard, similar to the one you would hear in one of these things. VOICE-OVER: He was a simple man……. Shot of a tractor harvesting potatoes on a bright sunny day …..born in a small American town, content to live a normal life….. Shot of a couple of little girls jumping rope in front of a typical suburban home. Giggling is heard. …….Until fate threw him a knuckleball. Fade in on an office building surrounded by police cars and vans. Officers in riot gear mill around and talk about their strategy while regular officers take cover behind their cars, guns pointed at the 8th floor windows where two men in camouflage stand, pointing their weapons down at the police. The whipping of helicopter blades is heard. NEWS REPORTER (off-screen v.o.): …..Police have surrounded this building where a team of Russian terrorists have taken as many as 30 people hostage. Negotiators are trying to restore peace, but the terrorists have demanded $40 million dollars and the release of their leader Sergey Nikolovich, who apparently is in an American prison not too far from here….. A negotiator speaks on a cell phone while crowds and the media are kept at bay with barriers. COP (on bullhorn pointed at open): Do not risk any innocent lives. Please set your weapons down and surrender or we will be forced to enter. The scene switches to an alley behind the building where a red Corvette pulls up, the camera pans around to the driver’s side, revealing an attractive brunette woman behind the wheel but not allowing us to see the face of the man that exits the passenger’s side. He’s wearing a black tank top and pants that are camouflaged similar to the Russians’. He looks strong, with broad shoulders and a slick blonde crew cut. DRIVER: Be careful, Killings. MAN: Don’t worry about me. The man opens a side door into the building while the woman drives off. The scene switches to the inside of the office building. About two dozen men and women are huddled crouching against a wall, with two Russians standing guard. The leader talks on a cell phone, while three others ready explosive charges in different parts of the office. TERRORIST LEADER: If the Americans do not honor our wishes, everyone in this building will die a horrible death, and it will be on your heads…..comrade. *Calmly presses the END button* One of the Russians heads toward the stairwell to watch for any trouble approaching that way. He sees nothing….but hears a faint *clank* two floors down, like someone dropped a cigarette lighter on the floor. Readying his AK-47, he carefully walks down the steps. He reaches the floor where the noise came from, trying to adjust to the darkness. TERRORIST: Is anyone there? He takes a few steps forward…..and is suddenly yanked out of sight. A faint *snap* is heard. Back to the office, and one of the Russians has noticed his partner’s disappearance. He walks towards the door to the stairs….but it suddenly swings open and the blond haired man knocks him out with an AK. He kills the two men guarding the hostages and dodges fire from the two at the windows, returning fire and sending them toppling out the open window. The gun jams however, so he throws it down and dispatches the terrorists with martial arts moves, spin kicking one into the other and over a desk and flipping another into the water cooler. His tank top gets ripped off in the process, showing his highly toned upper body. The leader fires at him with his pistol but a Matrix effect shows that the bullet misses. The gun is kicked out of his hand with a roundhouse and the man sends him headfirst through a glass partition, which is shown in slow motion. He turns his attention to the hostages and we finally see his face. He is a very handsome man with bright blue eyes and a chiseled face, which is caked in sweat at the moment. MAN: GO, get out of here!!! The group heads towards the stairwell and the man makes sure the coast is clear before heading that way himself…….but someone had locked the door behind them!!!! He tries to kick the door loose, but it is much too strong to do so. Suddenly, he hears someone chuckling……and turns around to see the leader bloody on the floor, but clutching something that looks like the trigger for the explosives. The leader’s last action is to press the trigger button. LEADER: Goodbye…..Prince Killings…… The man pounds on the stairwell door some more, but it still won’t budge. He sees one of the explosives and sees the counter is down to 10 seconds….. 9….. 8….. 7….. 6….. He realizes that the door won’t work and tries to find another door…. 5….. 4….. None of them will budge, so he frantically looks for another way out…… He sees that the window is the only way, so he sprints for it….. 3…... Closer……. 2…… Closer……. 1…… He dives out headfirst. We switch to the outside and his flailing body falling in slow motion 0…… BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!! A huge fireball follows him out and the scene freezes at that point. The screen turns black..... VOICE-OVER: Move over Ahhnold....step aside Stallone....adios Matt Damon. This is Prince Killings, The Beast of Boise, coming soon to a HeldDown near you..... PRINCE KILLINGS COMING MARCH 3RD Television screens all across America are suddenly coming at you in "PSYCHADELIC VISION", the colors on screen all pastel as in the Target Center, colored strobe lights flash all about the arena, bubbles filling the entrance way and "Boogey Man" by KC and the Sunshine Band filling the ears of booing Twin Cities citizens, as The 70's Dude steps out onto the ramp, his arms splayed wide! He walks down the ramp, confetti cannons going off and turning the arena into a sea of psychadelic colors as the Dude slides into the ring. GARY MICHAEL CAPPETTA Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, at three-hundred and five pounds, from NEWARK, New Jersey, theeeeeeeeeeeeee SEVENTIES DUUUUUUUDE! CROWD YOU SUCK! COLE Whoa, this crowd needs to watch their language! The Dude stands mid-ring, posing for the crowd as on television screens across America, the color goes away completely, blackness filling not just their screen but the Target Center also, and the crowd gets deathly quiet... "THREE-TWO-ONE!" "I'M THE BOMB!" *BOOM!* White pyro hits the stage and white light fills the arena, blinding the crowd and causing several Jews in attendance to convert to Christianity as "I'm The Bomb" by the Electric Six hits, and Calvin Szechstein steps onto the top of the entrance ramp, head down and one finger in the air! The lights come back up as Szechstein looks up, dropping his arm and glaring at the 70's Dude, anger in his eyes as he drops everything and dives into the ring, met with stomps to the back of the head from the Dude! The referee, Versailles Hilton, calls for the bell, and this match is underway! *DING DING DING* Szechstein manages to get to his feet despite the barrage of boots to his back by the Dude, standing up and grabbing the Dude by the top of the head, leaning back and coming forward with a war cry, driving the top of his head into the Dude's cranium! Dude backs off, taken aback at Calvin's ballsiness, while Szechstein stares him down, his eyes wild. COLE Calvin Szechstein just headbutted The 70's Dude! Where I'm from there's one thing that you don't do, and that one thing is f**k with someone who just headbutted you. If I'm the 70's Dude, I just walk away right now, because Calvin Szechstein is a damn psycho. CABOOSE ... Cole, you p***y. Calvin takes several menacing steps forward, the larger Dude backing down, apparently taking Cole's advice and not wanting to mess with a deranged headbutter. Calvin, however, is a runaway train, and ain't nobody gon' stop him on this night. He charges at the Dude, taking the Dude into the ropes and bouncing off, throwing the Dude off with an Irish whip. Dude hits the opposite ropes, a locomotive gaining steam... ... but on this night Calvin Szechstein is the brake, leaping into the air and planting a stiff dropkick right on the lips of the Dude! Newark's least favorite export goes down hard, grabbing his face in pain as Szechstein continues the onslaught, running to the ropes himself and coming back hard, leaping into the air and dropping a vicious knee into the face of the Dude! Calvin walks away cockily, confident that the Dude won't get up, but Hilton can already see this match slipping out of his control. Trying to get a firm grap on the match he walks over to Szechstein, telling the ex-champ to calm down, but Szechstein merely shoves him away -- and Hilton takes offence, calling for the bell! *DING DING DING* COLE ... you've got to be kidding me. CAPPETTA Ladies and gentlemen, Calvin Szechstein has been disqualified for referee abuse. Thus, your winner, the SEEEEEEEEVENTIES DUUUUUUUUDE! CABOOSE Well, folks, you don't mess with the referees here in the OAOAST, as Calvin Szechstein just learned. It was a hard-fought victory for the Dude, but he earned every inch and he is well-deserving. The 70's Dude is up and upset in the ring, while Calvin Szechstein, incensed, is in the process of verbally beating the hell out of Versailles Hilton. Dude calls for the microphone, and Cappetta, bored, tosses his into the ring. DUDE Look, Calvin, baby, I know you're upset, but look... it's not that big of a deal. Everyone loses to the Dude at some point. Calvin grabs the mic, angry. CALVIN Listen, Dude, you may have won tonight, but I'm coming after you on HeldDown, and on HeldDown, and... Dude pulls the mic back. DUDE Whoa, Calvin, you didn't let me finish. See, I'm an honest cat, and I'm not going to win like this, baby. So I'm going to give you a second chance, only this time we're playin' by my rules... NO rules. You got that? The crowd roars at this announcement, and Calvin chews on his lower lip for, oh, two seconds. CALVIN You got it! The crowd roars, and referee Hilton calls for the bell... *DING DING DING* COLE IT'S ON! AGAIN! Szechstein and the Dude lock up, not even waiting for the second bell, simply wanting a piece of each other (not like that, sicko!) The Dude uses his more power-packed frame to his advantage, forcing Szechstein back into the corner, but as they get close Szechstein hops up, landing on the second rope! Using this to his advantage, he quickly lashes out with a kick into the Dude's ribcage, causing the 70's Dude to break out of the lock-up and stumble back a few steps! Szechstein remains on the middle rope, and leaps off of it, extending his body wide and looking for a crossbody, but the quick-thinking Dude falls to the mat, causing Szechstein to go flying over him and land hard stomach-first on the mat! Szechstein gets to his feet quickly, holding his own ribcage in pain, and stares at the Dude for a second before charging at him once more! The two men lock up, and this time Szechstein bends his knees, getting lower to the ground and using this newfound leverage to power Dude back into the turnbuckle! Szechstein breaks, and levels a knee to Dude's midsection, causing him to grab his ribs in pain once again. Szechstein backs up, revving his engine before charging forward and looking for an avalanche, but the Dude throws his shoulder in the way, and Szechstein catches it right in the sternum! Calvin stumbles back, grabbing his midsection in pain, and the Dude charges out of the corner, looking to level Calvin with a lariat -- only to get caught by a drop toe hold from Szechstein, sending the Dude right back to the mat! COLE The fire being shown by these two men is intense. COACH It burns! CABOOSE However, you can see that the Dude is very much in control early on... he's playing cat to Szechstein's mouse! Szechstein gets to his feet, his breathing heavier than usual. He wipes the sweat out of his eyes, staring at the Dude as he gets to his feet as well. Dude turns around, and the two men glare at each other for a few moments before Szechstein moves again, seemingly looking to lock up. Dude bites, offering his hands up, but Szechstein slides underneath them and goes behind the Dude, grabbing him in a rear waistlock! Dude throws an elbow, but Szechstein shrugs it off, lifting Dude up up and OVER with a German suplex! COLE GERMAN from Szechstein, and he's waisting no time busting out the heavy stuff! Szechstein lets go of the waistlock, getting to his feet and staring down harshly at the Dude. Szechstein spits on the Dude's fallen body, eliciting some scattered cheers from the capacity crowd in the Target Center, and levels a stiff boot to the Dude's midsection. The Dude grabs his ribs in pain, rolling away from Szechstein, and the ex-champ nods approvingly before turning around and sliding out of the ring. On the outside, Szechstein walks over to the timekeeper's booth, shoving Cappetta out of his chair and folding it up. He goes over towards the ring, looking to re-enter under the bottom rope... *CRACK!* ... only to get caught in the face by a nasty baseball slide dropkick from the Dude, sending Szechstein toppling to the floor below! The crowd boos loudly, starting another "YOU SUCK!" chant as the Dude gets to his feet inside the ring, his breathing already heavier than normal but a satisfied smile on his face. Cappetta scurries out from the booth, grabbing his chair... but he gets caught in the crossfire as the Dude launches himself over the top rope with a plancha, catching both Szechstein and Cappetta, in addition to the chair! COLE High-risk offence from the Dude! CABOOSE And that rat bastard Cappetta just paid for it! The Dude, seeing the downed form of Cappetta, grins slightly, an idea forming in his head. He grabs Cappetta by the back of the suit, hefting the announcer to his feet. Grinning, the Dude lifts Cappetta high into the air, military-pressing the announcer -- before dropping him across Calvin! "OOOOOH!" Both Calvin and Cappetta begin gasping for breath, and Dude gets a hearty laugh out of this, doing THE HUSTLE~ in celebration! He grabs Cappetta and shoves him over towards the scorekeeper's table, chairless. The Dude watches Cappetta, mockingly making sure that the ring announcer is all right before turning to look for Szechstein... *CRACK!* ... only to get clobbered in the face by the chair, courtesy of the ex-champ! The crowd roars as Szechstein drops the dented chair, getting on top of Dude and looking for the quick pin... "ONE!" "TWO!" "TH -- NO!" Dude gets the shoulder up, and scattered boos greet this announcement. Szechstein gets back to his feet, grabbing the Dude and lifting him up as well. CABOOSE Look at the craftiness by the Dude! In this newly-christened hardcore environment, he can use everything to his advantage! COLE Well, Caboose, it's obvious that he has suckered Szechstein into playing his brawling game, but only time will tell if that pays off! COACH I like cookies! Szechstein grabs Dude by the arm, whipping him into the barrier and following close behind him! The Dude's body goes flying into the guardrail, and as the natural reaction of Dude bouncing off tries to take place it is cut off at the knees by Szechstein, who pancakes Dude into the railing once more! The grinning Szechstein backs off, allowing Dude's limp body to fall to the padding on the outside. COLE It's not helping too much, Caboose. CABOOSE Buzz off. Calvin grabs the limp form of the Dude, lifting the 70's Dude to his feet. Szechstein knees Dude in the stomach, doubling him over and quickly pulling the Donna Summer lover towards him, putting the Dude into a standing headscissors! The crowd erupts in cheers, knowing that the Clash is on tap – but as Szechstein lifts Dude up by the waist, the 70's Dude shows tremendous upper body strength, pulling himself up so that he is sitting on Szechstein's shoulders! Calvin stumbles around a bit, and Dude helps his wooziness by driving some swift forearm blows into the ex-champ's forehead! With no other option, Calvin is forced to drop Dude forward, turning away from the Dude and trying to regain his bearings. Dude is fully in control of himself, however, and as Calvin turns back to try and take advantage of the Dude, he finds the 70's Dude right there waiting for him! The Dude grabs Szechstein by the back of the head, pulling Calvin close before placing his head underneath Szechstein's jaw. The crowd erupts as the Dude leaps up and sits out, driving Szechstein's jaw into the top of his head with Szechstein's own sitout jawbreaker! CABOOSE There's a taste of your own medicine, you sellout bastard! COLE He's not a sellout anymore! He's a good person! Szechstein bounces up into the air, clutching his jaw in pain, and Dude quickly steps forward, grabbing Szechstein by the legs and hoisting him up into the air, before dropping him neck-first across the guardrail! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” The crowd roars out in boos for the maneuver as Szechstein clutches his neck in pain, stumbling back a few feet and obviously trying to maintain some sense of composure as he is sent reeling on the outside. He turns around, stumbling towards the entrance ramp in an obvious attempt to get away from the Dude -- however, the Dude is very obviously on fire, and he stalks after Calvin, looking to obliterate the man with a big move. Dude grabs Szechstein by the shoulder, whirling him around so that the two men face each other. Dude proceeds to grab Szechstein by the arm and step forward, wrapping Calvin's own arm around his neck! The crowd erupts, knowing what is to come as the Dude runs forward and leaps into the air, sitting out and wrenching Calvin's neck in the process with a wraparound neckbreaker! CABOOSE WRAPAROUND NECKBREAKER! He learned that from William Regal, yo! Dude climbs on top of an unmoving Szechstein and as Versailles Hilton gets down to make the count, it looks like the biggest upset in history could happen! The crowd is already booing, having little faith in Szechstein to make the kickout... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "NO!" ... and Szechstein kicks out anyway, almost nonchalant! COLE It's almost like Calvin is toying with the Dude! CABOOSE If by toying you mean jobbing, maybe! The Dude does look a bit nervous as he gets to his feet, grabbing Calvin by the hair and lifting the ex-champ to his feet. He grabs Calvin by the arm, looking to whip him into the guardrail, but Szechstein reverses the whip, sending the Dude into the guardrail instead! But wait! The Dude leaps into the air, balancing himself perfectly on the guardrail! The crowd thinks about booing this impressive feat from the three-hundred pounder, but they boo instead, wincing as Szechstein, oblivious, turns towards Dude, expecting to see a tie-dyed bitch in the fetal position -- but instead seeing Dude balancing precariously on the guardrail! He turns around slowly, turning to face Calvin, who charges towards the guardrail with the intention of knocking Dude off -- but the Dude leaps off the guardrail, wrapping one arm around Szechstein's head and whirling around in midair, driving Calvin's head into the entrance ramp with a swank tornado DDT! CABOOSE THE DUDE JUST DID A TORNADO DDT OFF THE GUARDRAIL! WHO'S THE BOMB NOW!? Dude gets to his feet, turning Szechstein over onto his back before going for the pinfall! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" COLE NOOOOOOOOO... ... and referee Hilton agrees, calling out a loud "NO!" as Szechstein's shoulder comes off the ramp! The crowd erupts in cheers, encouraging Szechstein even as he struggles to catch his breath. Dude gets to his feet, and Szechstein rolls over into a fetal position, trying to catch just a moment of rest, but he's hauled up by the Dude. Dude knees Szechstein in the stomach, doubling the ex-champ over, and putting Szechstein into a side headlock! Dude grabs Szechstein by the top of his tights and lifts him into the air, in suplex position... but Szechstein shifts all of his weight, forcing the Dude to drop him back with a weaksauce suplex! Szechstein breathes slightly easier, knowing that he's scored a slight victory as the Dude gets to his feet, grabbing Szechstein by the hair and lifting him back to his feet. COLE Calvin may have dodged a bullet there, as it's unlikely that Dude wanted to come out of that with just a suplex! The 70's Dude is obviously upset, kneeing Calvin in the stomach with a ferocity not yet seen in the match. Szechstein doubles over, clutching his ribs in pain, and the Dude grabs him in a side headlock once more! The crowd begins booing, but their boos quickly become cheers as Szechstein wraps his arms around Dude's waist, lifting the Dude up and over with a Northern Lights Suplex! The crowd roars as Szechstein bridges, looking for a quick three! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THR -- NO!" Dude still has too much left, however, and he gets the kickout. Szechstein gets to his feet, his breathing slowly returning to normal as he walks around, trying to regain his bearings as the Dude recovers on the ramp. Szechstein breathes for a moment before turning back to the Dude, who by now is on his feet. Szechstein stalks over to the Dude and knees him in the stomach, before simply lifting his arms into the air and clubbing them down against the New Jersey native's back with a double axe handle! Szechstein grabs both the head and the waist of the Dude, before aiming his head towards the guardrail and charging forward, slamming his adversary right into it! *CLANG!* Dude stumbles back, but Calvin keeps a firm grasp of his head, and he slams it again into the guardrail! Szechstein turns his rival around, pushing him against the guardrail, before slamming forearm smashes into his forehead. After a flurry of shots, Szechstein stops, swings his open palm out… *CRACK!* …and slaps the taste out of the Dude’s mouth! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" CABOOSE That's just disrespectful! He fires another forearm – but Dude STOPS IT! Calvin looks back at Dude, wide-eyed, and he sees a HARD right cross come flying at him! Another! Another! The Dude could win an Olympic medal for New Jersey with these hard punches, and he shoves Calvin away, before lifting his leg up, kicking his boot into Szechstein’ face and sending him down HARD back-first against the ramp! The Twin Cities crowd is starting to get nasty, throwing obscenities at the 70's Dude like baseballs. He grabs Szechstein by the head and picks him up, and then hoisting him onto his shoulder, pointing the ex-champ’s head towards the nearest corner ring post. He charges forward…but Szechstein predictably slips out behind the Jersey boy, who himself puts his arms out, stopping short! Dude turns around and sees Calvin swing with a punch, but he again blocks it, and bellows a scream to the disco gods… “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!!!” *BOOOOOOOOOOOM!* …before firing one of the hardest damn punches ever seen against Calvin’s jaw! The ex-champ immediately falls to the mat, clutching his jaw in agony! "DIS - CO SUCKS!" "DIS - CO SUCKS!" The chants are loud and clear in the Target Center, but the Dude chooses to ignore them, dropping down and pinning Szechstein. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” …no! Calvin barely wriggles a shoulder up, just breaking the count! With blood seeping out of his mouth, Szechstein rolls onto his stomach, but the Dude stays right on him, grabbing him by the hair and lifting him to his feet, before rolling him back in the ring. The New Jersey native gives the ex-champ no breather, lifting him up and taking him by the wrist, before FORCEFULLY whipping him against the turnbuckle! *BANG!* Calvin hits back-first so hard, he stumbles out of the corner, just enough for Dude to reach out and wrap one hand around his throat and execute a sleeper, before running towards the turnbuckle. Once he reaches it he kicks his feet up to the second, and then top turnbuckles, spinning around and slamming Calvin down with a TORNADO SLEEPER SLAM! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Both men are down from the amazing impact, but Dude is able to crawl over…and lay an arm down across the chest of the fallen Szechstein! The entire Target Center is on its feet, booing like crazy and praying for Calvin to kick out... “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” SHOULDER UP! SHOULDER UP! "CAAAAAAAAAAAL - VIN!" "CAAAAAAAAAAAL - VIN!" The three is waved off, and the Twin Cities crowd is thrilled! Frustrated, but still focused, the Seventies Sensation leaves the ring, and lifts up the ring apron, reaching under and producing…a Huggy Bear-style pimp cane! The steel-tipped, phallic device gets a rise (ENTENDRE~) out of the crowd, and Dude reenters the ring with the turgid stick firmly in his hand. Calvin is miraculously on his knees, so Dude decides to dive in headfirst, swinging the cane down- *FWOOOOOSH- *CHING*? Yes, *CHING*, as Szechstein lifts his forearm up with a SWIFT uppercut to the Dude’s testes! The crowd erupts, the Dude doubles over in pain, and Calvin Szechstein takes control of the cane and swings it at the head of the Dude with more juice than a Jose Canseco biography! *FWOOSH – THUNK!* The sound of steel meeting skull echoes through the dome, and Dude immediately hits the mat! Calvin twirls the cane, hopping around like a hopped-up Shane McMahon as the crowd erupts! Calvin aims the cane down, and sends down more shots to Dude’s midsection to the roars of the crowd! *FWOOSH – THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!* COLE Look at this sweet, merciless bastard! This is war, and Calvin is a WARRIOR! CABOOSE What the hell is this, a G-Unit video? The Dude writhes in pain on the mat, but Calvin is relentless, taking Dude by the head and sticking it out of the ring, his neck against the middle rope. He then places the cane against Dude’s throat, pulling back, thus executing a guillotine of excruciating proportions! The crowd is eating this up, seemingly ignoring the fact that Calvin Szechstein has just gone crazy, and as the ref tries to intervene Szechstein just yells at him to "F*** OFF!" -- and since it’s no-disqualification, there’s nothing that can be done. Finally, Calvin has the ‘heart’ to release the move, and Dude slumps down against the bottom rope. The ex-champ humiliates his opponent further, kicking him in the ass, literally, sending him through the ropes and down to the floor! Calvin follows him out, twirling the cane in his right hand. However, he spots the ring steps, and drops the cane, getting a better idea. He walks over to the ring steps and unhinges them, lifting them high over his head. As John Travolta's favorite wrestler slowly gets to his feet, Calvin backs up, and then takes a few steps forward, TOSSING the steps towards Dude’s head… *BOOOOOM!* …and connecting with vicious accuracy! The stairs hit the ground with a loud crash, and Dude follows shortly after. Szechstein, satisfied, walks over to Dude and straddles him, before unleashing a flurry of right hands against his head! Blood begins dripping down Dude's face as Calvin now presses down on top of him, covering him in a pin! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREEEENOOOOO!” Dude gets the shoulder up, much to the crowd's chagrin! CABOOSE What heart being shown by the Dude right here, still fighting despite Szechstein's disgustingly cheat-filled offence! COLE It's only a matter of time until Dude succumbs, Caboose. COACH I still like cookies! The former champ lifts the 70's Dude up to his feet, and then rolls him under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Calvin takes Dude by the head and runs forward, smashing his cranium into the nearest turnbuckle. He keeps him there, and then goes to the opposite corner, before charging towards the Dude, building up speed as he leaps into the air and looks for a high-impact Avalanche… but Dude somehow moves out of the way and Calvin crashes into the corner! As he staggers backward, the Donna Summer lover reaches up and traps Calvin in an inverted facelock! CABOOSE AW SNAP! Dude grabs a handful of Calvin’s tights and hoists him into the air vertically…but the ex-champ shifts his weight and lands behind Dude, swiftly locking his arms around Dude’s head in a crossface before dropping back and slamming the back of the Dude’s neck into his knee! COLE AW SNAP SQUARED Calvin covers his adversary with another pin! “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” NO, ANOTHER SHOULDER UP! CABOOSE THE HEART! THE SOUL! COLE You've GOTTA be kidding me! Szechstein is still tired, and he struggles to his feet, visibly gasping for air. He spits, trying to get the thick blood out of his mouth, and then turns back to the Dude, also nearly out of it on the mat. Szechstein grabs the Dude, lifting him to his feet. COLE This is all! This is all! The crowd continues to roar for the Dude, but Szechstein mentally dismisses their cheers, grabbing the Dude and driving a hard knee into his stomach! The crowd begins booing as the Dude doubles over, and their booing gets louder as Szechstein locks the Dude in a standing headscissors! Szechstein grabs Dude around the waist, and the crowd's booing intensifies as Szechstein lifts Dude up into piledriver position! He raises one arm, signaling for the Clash... ...but then he drops it! The Dude connects with an elbow to Szechstein's shin, and Calvin is struggling to stay on his feet. This causes him to loosen his grip on Dude's waist, and this allows the Dude enough room to arch his back, whipping Szechstein over his body with a hurricanrana! CABOOSE THAT'S A THREE HUNDRED POUND MAN! WHAT AGILITY! The crowd roars out in boos like whoa, as Versailles Hilton gets down to make the count! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" The crowd begins booing WILDLY... CABOOSE WHAT AN UPSET! "NO!" ...but again, Szechstein gets his shoulder up at the last second! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" COLE Yeah, what an upset-ting occurance for Dude's three fans! Frustrated, the Dude gets to his feet, wiping blood from his face and grabbing Szechstein by the hair, lifting him to his feet as well! Dude grabs Szechstein's arm, dancing back a few steps before whipping Szechstein into the turnbuckles! Szechstein hits them hard, bouncing out and stumbling forward a bit -- but he gets rammed right back into the buckle by a huge avalanche from Dude! The Dude steps back, and Szechstein slumps down onto the top rop, trying to get a breather. Dude, however, has other plans completely, and he steps out onto the apron. His eyes glint as he goes over to the turnbuckle Szechstein is resting in and climbs it, getting on the top rope and balancing unsteadily. He sits on the top, grabbing Szechstein by the hair and turning him around so that the two men face each other. Dude pulls Calvin up so that he stands on the second rope, and grabs him in a side headlock! Unsteadily, the Dude gets to his feet, grabbing Szechstein by the top of his tights... CABOOSE This is the match, right here, get your cameras ready! Dude takes a huge breath, and then lifts Szechstein high up into suplex position... ... but for the THIRD time in the match, Szechstein shifts his weight! The brief rest he got gave him time to formulate a plan, and he puts it into action here, wrapping both of his arms around Dude's neck and falling forwards! Dude falls with him as Calvin lands sitting on the apron, Dude's neck impaled onto his shoulder at a HUGE angle with a suicide neckbreaker! The crowd pops for the HUGE impact of the move, as Dude goes sprawling on the apron and Szechstein's recoil sends him bouncing off the apron, landing hard on the floor below! "OAT TOAST RULES! OAT TOAST RULES!" COACH What's Oat Toast? Szechstein struggles to his feet on the outside, while on the apron the Dude isn't even TWITCHING, and he seems to be out cold. On the outside, Szechstein gets to his feet, though he's obviously unstable on them. He shakes the kinks out, though, and goes to the apron, climbing on top of Dude and praying for the pinfall! "ONE!" The crowd is counting along, loving the finish and loving their new hero, Calvin Szechstein! "TWO!" The cheers are louder! COLE It's all over, Caboose! "THREEEEEEE!" An ORGASM of cheers! "NO!" ... but these cheers are misplaced, as the Dude gets the shoulder up! At Versailles Hilton's yelling the crowd goes INSANE, LIVID that Szechstein didn't pick up the win, and Szechstein himself stares at Hilton, spitting blood onto the mat and demanding to know how he didn't pick up the fall. Hilton simply shrugs -- he's not a wrestler -- and Szechstein lets out a huge, exasperated sigh, getting to his feet and picking the Dude up with him. CABOOSE The Dude is a stud, Cole. He's not going to lose! COLE ... and you make gay cracks about me! Szechstein grabs the Dude -- who by this point is pretty much out on his feet -- and throws him into the ring over the top rope. Dude lands very unsteadily on his feet, and Szechstein steps in behind him, grabbing the Dudeed Superstar by the arm and whipping him HARD into the ropes! Dude hits the ropes and comes back, looking like open season as Szechstein charges forward, arm extended for a lariat... ... but Dude ducks underneath it! He hits the ropes on the opposite side, coming back at Szechstein... ... who whirls around and drives the Dudeed Phenom into the mat with the YEAH I MIGHT'VE MISSED THE FIRST TIME BUT THE SECOND TIME IS THE MOTHERFUCKING CHARM LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE AND COACH YO! The Dude hits the mat, even more out of it than before, if such a thing is possible, and Szechstein gets on top, thinking that this will do it! "ONE!" The crowd is thrilled, sure that now, no, it's really the end! "TWO!" "THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "NO!" The Dude again gets the shoulder up, and THIS time, Calvin Szechstein believes it even less than the last time! He begins screaming at Hilton, spitting blood literally as Hilton backs up, a bit afraid of the angry ex-champ. Szechstein, monstrously frustrated by this point, and grabs the Dude, lifting him to his feet! CABOOSE When is Szechstein going to get that he just - can't - win! COLE Oh, he ain't playin' this time! Szechstein grabs Dude by the head, leading him over to the turnbuckle. Angry, Szechstein steps onto the second rope, putting the Dude into a headscissors. The crowd cheers, sure of what's to come as Szechstein grabs the Dude by the waist, lifting him up into piledriver position! The crowd is hesitant, remembering how Dude escaped the last few tries, and watching the Dude frantically claw at Szechstein's shins, trying once more to get Szechstein to break the hold! Not this time. Szechstein leaps off the middle rope, the crowd roaring, as this MUST be it, Szechstein falling ALL THE WAY DOWN... *BOOM!* ...and landing on his knees, spiking the Dude's head into the mat with a top-rope Clash! COLE THE CLASH! CABOOSE What, is he sponsored by bad punk bands now? COLE No, it's THE CLASH, from the top rope! There's no WAY this isn't it! Szechstein holds onto Dude's waist, letting him slide down a bit so that his shoulders touch the mat, and the crowd begins booing, sure that this one is over as Versailles Hilton makes the count! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" *DING DING DING* CAPPETTA Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... CALVIN SZECHSTEIN! The crowd roars as Szechstein gets to his feet, spitting out blood-filled loogies as the Dude lay dead on the mat, unsure of what to do now. Calvin grins, raising one fist in this air, but as the Dude sits up in the background, his glare at Calvin speaks volumes. It's not over. Aw, naw -- Calvin up and done it now. The camera peels away from the Calvin Szechstein celebration to find Axel walking solemnly around the locker room. Some would think he might be throwing stuff around the room, furious that Crystal could do what she did tonight. Others might think he’d be punching holes into the wall, pretending that it’s actually Crystal he is doing such a thing to. However, neither of those apply. Instead of anger, it’s easy to see his face is cracking with sadness. He slowly wipes a tear out of his eye -- but stops when he hears someone whispering into his ear. DREK I love seeing a grown man cry. Keep crying, Axel. Axel lowers his head, as Drek smugly smiles at the situation as a whole. DREK Ha! Classic! As Drek Stone walks away from the scene with the Heavyweight Title wrapped around his arm, Axel keeps his head lowered. No violence. No rage. Nothing. Just an overwhelming, crippling cloud of sadness. Edited February 28, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 (edited) COLE Well, after a wild and unpredictable night, we have come to the end, and it is now time for our main event contest! COACH That's right, we are just moments away from our OAOAST World Championship match: Drek Stone, the champ, versus Hoff! CABOOSE Ah, I gotta admit, a better story couldn't have been written. Drek Stone, the greatest champion possibly in history, against Hoff, the hometown hero, the man of the people...this is what it's all about. And what a victory it will be for Drek Stone. Another chapter in his great story. COLE Certainly a rivalry between these two that has turned bitterly personal. Both men came onto the scene in 2004 and had tremendous rookie years. Both these men took their opportunities and turned them into World Title reigns. Certainly, both men have a lot to prove here tonight. CABOOSE I don't know if Drek has anything to prove, Cole, but what a notch in his belt it will be to beat a guy like Hoff in front of all his friends and family, all these hometown fans who came to see him. COLE Drek Stone is certainly a great champion. Love him or hate him, and many people do hate the man, but he is a fighter who will do and has done anything to hold onto his title. He's been in some memorable clashes. Hell in a Cell. The Elimination Chamber. The I Quit Match against AJ Flaire. So many great moments, so many highlights for Drek Stone. Likewise, Hoff's story is well documented. Coming into the OAOAST as a part of the rebel Underground faction. Breaking out of their shadow. Joining the Thrillogy and dominating through the summer. Main events on show after show. A memorable, highly successful reign as 24/7 champion, and then the ascent to greatness. The World Title victory over Crystal last October...and just like that, it was taken from him. COACH Well, we all remember the night like it was yesterday. November 4th, 2004, when Hoff was supposed to make his first title defense, and we saw that he had been attacked, and laid out before he could even get to the ring. Hoff was laid up in the hospital, and the title was stripped. COLE It would be a few weeks later, in the Elimination Chamber that Drek Stone would beat five other competitors to become the new World's Champion. Meanwhile, Hoff would rehab at home, biding his time until he could get back to the ring. In the new year Hoff made his return, in emphatic fashion, destroying the men responsible for putting him on the shelf. And that has led us here. Two men who may want this more than anyone. Drek Stone. Hoff. The World Championship up for grabs, and it happens right now. The cameras cut to Michael Buffer, standing in the middle of the ring, house microphone in hand. BUFFER Our next match is the MAAAAAAAAIN EVENT of the evening!! The crowd cheers the statement, knowing their hometown hero is about to arrive. BUFFER Scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, this match is for the OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the thousands in attendance tonight, and the millions watching around the world......LLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUM-BLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The crowd is ferverently abuzz...then immediately turn vicious as A3's "Woke Up This Morning" begins to play over the Target Center speakers. The arena lights dim, heralding the champion's arrival. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself a Gun Mama Always Said You'd Be The Chosen One... The crowd directs pure, raw anger and hatred at the World Champion as he steps out from the curtain, the World Heavyweight Title shining around his waist. BUFFER Intorducing first, from Brooklyn, New York...weighing in tonight at 235 pounds, he is a man who has become renowned across the globe for his tenacity and passion in the ring, as well as his ability to defeat all comers and his willingness to use whatever means necessary to achieve victory. Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORLD...."RRRRRR-ECKLESS" DREK STOOOOOOOOONE!! Drek Stone strides confidently down the aisle. His usual smug smirk, though, is absent this evening, in its place a serious, somewhat unreadable expression. COACH Drek seems a little less glib then usual! Maybe all these Minneapolis fans have him rattled! CABOOSE Nah, not at all, Coachman. What that look is is confidence. Sheer confidence. He's not here to entertain tonight, or to put on an act for these people. Tonight, Drek Stone is simply here to win. The OAOAST Champion climbs up the ring steps and enters the squared circle. Unstrapping his title belt from his waist, Drek places it over his shoulder and cradles it in one arm. With his free arm, Drek pounds his chest twice, then hoists his fist high into the air, as a shower of green, then white, and lastly red sparks launch from each corner. COLE An impressive entrance for our World Champion. CABOOSE Well, that's the thing, Cole. Drek doesn't just wear the OAOAST Title belt; he looks good doing it! COLE Undeniably an impressive physical specimen. The crowd has already begun chanting Hoff's name as Drek Stone's theme song fades out. It is replaced by the opening strains of Sevendust's Black -- and the CROWD SPRINGS TO ITS FEET!! COLE But so is this man! The arena lights go black as the opening riff of the hard rock anthem blares across the arena sound system... *BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOM* Electric blue, white, and silver fireworks EXPLODE at the top of the stage, causing billowing smoke to cloud the entryway. A moment passes...and out from the smoke steps HOFF to a THUNDEROUS ovation!! BUFFER And his opponent... Buffer can barely be heard over the roar of the crowd. Strobe lights flash across the dark arena as Hoff takes a few slow steps down the ramp, soaking the ambience of the night in. BUFFER (shouting) Hailing from MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA.... Buffer's introductory announcements are now completely drowned out by the raucous hometown crowd, regailing in the appearance of their hero. Hoff takes a few more paces down the ramp, then pauses again, looking out over the capacity crowd. Hoff lets a slight smile onto his face, pointing out first left, then right, into the sea of fans, acknowledging them for their support. Hoff then turns his attention back to the ring, focusing his gaze on Drek Stone, the World Champion, who stands in the far side of the ring, glowering at Hoff. COLE WOULD YOU LISTEN TO THIS OVATION?!? The fans continue to shout themselves hoarse as Hoff walks the rest of the way down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring under the bottom strand. Hoff pops to his feet and stares right at Stone, who stares right back at him. The two lock eyes for a brief moment...until Hoff breaks his gaze, turning and climbing the near corner, posing with one foot on the top strand, one on the second, and raising his right arm into the air to the largest crowd cheer ever heard in the state of Minnesota. "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" The fans have once again taken up the chant of Hoff's name, the rallying cry for their hero. Hoff holds his pose, closing his eyes and truly glorying in the moment. Drek Stone shakes his head as Hoff climbs down from the corner...only to scale the adjacent corner! Hoff climbs to the second rope, and to the fans' delight, raises both of his large arms up and out to the sides, letting loose a primal roar as he flexes his muscled frame for the cameras! Flashes go off all over the arena as Hoff's eyes flash with intensity. The big man snorts as he lets go of his pose, stepping down from the turnbuckles and turning to face the World Champion. COLE What a welcome for the hometown hero! The fans are still chanting Hoff's name as the lights come up and the music fades away. The official for the match calls the two combatants to him, detailing the technicalities of the contest. Hoff and Drek, familiar with the rules of engagement, stare at each other with the strange mixture of respect and contempt. CABOOSE Look at these men's eyes, blokes! This kind of intensity is what our World Title is all about. COLE Both of these men understand what it's like to be champion. Both of them understand what it will take to make that reality. They are painfully aware of what each other is capable of. COACH Absolutely, Mikey, and these two men are simply so good...I can't, and no disrespect to anyone, but I can't remember the last time I was this excited about a title match. COLE Arguably the two fastest rising stars of 2004, two of the hottest so far in 2005...I can't think of a better matchup. The referee finishes his speech, then turns to Drek Stone and asks him if he understands. Stone simply utters "yes," without taking his eyes off of Hoff. The official turns to Hoff, and the big man nods his head, his focus remaining on Drek Stone. The official nods, then holds the World Title high overhead, signifying the prize which will go to the winner of this contest. He walks to the ropes and hands the belt over to an official at ringside, and then calls for the opening bell. *ding ding ding* The fans buzz as Hoff and Drek stare each other down, both men daring the other one to move without saying a word. Both men stand their ground, wearing serious, businesslike expressions on their faces. The fans are at the point of explosion...when Drek takes a step forward. COLE Oh, my. COACH This could explode at any moment. Hoff stands unmoving, and so Drek takes another step forward, bringing himself nose-to-nose with Hoff. Drek looks up at the big man, finally allowing himself to smirk, then to open his mouth and begin talking smack, berating the #1 contender with no mercy. The fans jeer loudly, but it doesn't faze the World Champion as he runs his mouth, bumping chests with his opponent. CABOOSE Now THIS is vintage Drek Stone. Even in the heart of the beast, he shows no fear. Drek continues to talk trash, presumably to get a reaction out of Hoff that simply isn't coming. The big man stares down his foe, keeping his face a mask...until Drek SHOVES him back sharply. COACH Whoa! The fans draw in their collective breath as their man takes a step backward, tilting his head upward and to the left side. Hoff's jaw sets and his brow furrows as Drek Stone, ever-confident, steps up to Hoff, still jaw-jacking with the big man! Hoff turns his head back to Drek, eyes afire, and Drek stops in mid-speech! Eyes wide, Drek rears back and throws a BIG punch....but Hoff BLOCKS the punch and DRILLS Drek with a HUGE right hand!! COLE Here we go! The crowd EXPLODES as Hoff steps up and throws another HUGE punch, catching Drek in the temple and snapping his head to the side! Drek turns back...right into ANOTHER big right hand that sends him reeling into the ropes! Drek uses his momentum to spring off the ropes with a sucker punch, but Hoff beats him to it and DRILLS him with a big right hand that sends the champ down to the canvas!! The crowd ROARS in approval as Drek quickly finds his feet and turns to face Hoff, who drills him AGAIN and sends him back down!! The resillient champion quickly gets back to his feet, turns, and AGAIN gets sent down with a MASSIVE right hand from Hoff! The fans are ECSTATIC as Hoff waves Drek back to his feet!! COLE THIS IS ELECTRIC! Drek, slightly razzled by the assault, finds his footing again...and walks into another right hand! Another right, and another, and another!! Drek's head snaps back with each vicious blow, and the onslaught backs Drek up into the ropes! Hoff takes a step back, and charges, CRUSHING Drek with a clothesline that sends the champ falling OVER the top rope and to the outside!! The crowd CHEERS as Drek lands unceremoniously on the floor below, and Hoff turns to the audience, waving them up to their feet!! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Drek Stone, on his hands and knees, takes a moment to regain his bearings... CABOOSE That's right, champ, take your time. Remember, YOU'RE the champion, this is YOUR match to win. Not his. Come on, buddy. COLE Caboose, show some objectivity! CABOOSE If these fans won't, I'm not going to either! Hoff finishes playing to the sold-out crowd, turning his attention back to the rising Drek Stone. No sooner does Drek find his feet than does Hoff come SAILING over the top rope with a diving cross body!! Hoff CRASHES down onto Drek, sending the champ to the floor to a MASSIVE reaction!! COACH That's called a "pescado," or so I'm told-- CABOOSE WHO CARES WHAT IT'S CALLED?! Oh, come on Drek, don't let him push you around like this!! Don't let THESE PEOPLE push you around like this!! "These people" are absolutely loving every second of Hoff's assault, as the big man straddles the champ following the pescado. Hoff grabs Drek by the hair with his left hand, and, sitting on Drek's chest, fires off a barrage of BIG right hands to the champion! The challenger continues the assault until the referee sticks his head out between the ropes, hollering for Hoff to break the hold and get back into the ring. Hoff halfway obliges, standing up off of Drek's chest, but pulling his foe up by the hair and ramming him into the ring apron! Drek clutches his forehead as he stumbles back into the guardrail. COLE Hoff is punishing Drek in the early goings here! Hoff, in a rare move, pushes Drek's forehead back, exposing his chest...and CHOPS him right in the pectoral region! Fans "wooooooooo!" as the stinging noise of flesh on flesh rings through the arena, and Drek leans forward, clutching his chest with his eyes WIDE and white. Drek's mouth hangs open in pain. Hoff smiles a mocking smile as Drek takes a few steps away, but Hoff grabs him by the hair and pulls him back around, before once again flooring the champion with a big right hand! Drek goes down, and Hoff quickly rolls into the ring to break the count. COACH That's one of the hallmarks of a champion, always knowing the environment and making sure not to lose on a technicality like a countout. CABOOSE Wait, since when are YOU so smart? COACH They knew you'd be broken up if Drek was in trouble, so they told me to bring my A-game. CABOOSE You don't HAVE an A-game! COACH They implanted some cybernetic components in me last night, and downloaded the knowledge straight to my cerebral cortex. COLE Wow, that's odd. COACH Tell me about it. They paid me in lollipops and heroin, though, so it's all good. Hoff rolls out of the ring, despite the referee's plea, and picks Drek up off of the floor. Hoff grabs the champion, scooping him up and dropping him back-first across the guardrail! The fans "ooooh," then cheer the maneuver as Drek Stone lets out a groan of pain. CABOOSE That cannot feel good. Drek lies draped awkwardly over the guardrail, and Hoff takes a step back...then drives a sledgehammer blow to Stone's chest! The fans cheer as Drek falls over the guardrail and to the floor, landing on his chest. Drek slowly tries to pick himself up, getting to his knees and clutching at his sternum. COLE An interesting maneuver by Hoff! COACH Trait #2 of a champion: use your surroundings to your advantage. Hoff drags Drek the rest of the way up by his hair, then points to the nearby steel ringpost to the fans' delight! Hoff holds Drek by the head and charges for the post...but Drek stops him with a back elbow to the face!! CABOOSE How's that for a championship trait, Coach?! Always be fighting back! Hoff reels, and the world champion grabs him by the hair! Drek rears back and throws Hoff forward -- but Hoff puts on the brakes! Hoff puts his foot up onto the steel steps, stopping Drek's momentum, and before he can react, Hoff slams HIS face into the steel pole! Drek's skull rebounds off the steel with a sickening *thud*, and the champion falls to the floor yet again. COACH Trait #3: be ready for your opponent's next move. CABOOSE AAAAAAAAH!! DAMMIT!! COLE Before tonight, I would have said Drek Stone was the better brawler, but now I'm not so sure!! The official breaks his own count mistakenly, leaning over the top rope to admonish Hoff. Hoff just smiles, pleasing the crowd, as Drek crawls around the corner and away. Hoff again rolls in and out of the ring to break the ten count, then heads aroudn the corner in pursuit of Drek...then stops, turns around, and picks up the ring steps. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!" The crowd cheers, knowing fully what Hoff's intentions are. Hoff yells for Drek to get up as he holds the steps, poised to ram them directly into Drek Stone's well-toned body. Drek stops crawling away and reaches up, grabbing the ring apron and using it to pull himself up to his feet. CABOOSE Oh, Drek, PLEASE get in the ring! Drek finds his footing, and takes a step back from the ring. Hoff, seeing the window of opportunity, charges forward as Drek turns...but the champion sidesteps the charge, and catches Hoff in a drop toe hold, sending Hoff down, FACE-FIRST into the steep steps!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE YES!! Hoff's head SNAPS back, and he falls to the side, grabbing his jaw and kicking his legs in obvious pain. Drek takes a second to breathe as he gets back to his feet, then turns and spies Hoff on the ground. With a nasty-lloking scowl, Drek marches over to Hoff and levels a STIFF boot to Hoff's jaw, driving the crowd IRATE!! CABOOSE Oh, yes, Drek, hurt him. Make him pay. Show him he't not half the champion you are. Drek looks up at the screaming referee, and this time it's his turn to break the count, rolling in and out of the ring under the bottom rope. Drek looks down at Hoff, shouting obscenities as he lays in with the boots. DREK "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!" *STOMP* DREK "YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME?!" *STOMP* DREK "You SON OF A BITCH!!" *STOMP* Drek takes a few more shots at Hoff's face, causing the big man to roll over, still clutching at his jaw. To the dismay of the capacity crowd, Drek turns away, spying the ring steps from earlier. With a sick gleam in his eye, Drek walks over to the steel steps, nodding. COLE Drek, no, DON'T! CABOOSE I didn't hear you complaining when Hoff used them! COLE Be that as it may, Caboose, you know this isn't right! This is supposed to be about who's the better wrestler! Drek picks the steps up, turning back toward Hoff with a devilish grin. CABOOSE Aw, BOLLOCKS, Cole! It's about who is the better champion, and the better champ is the man who does EVERYTHING he can to win. That's Drek Stone summed up to a T. Drek Stone, armed with the steps, walks over to Hoff and kicks the big man in the side. Using his feet, Drek rolls Hoff onto his back, and steps over his chest. Facing Hoff's feet, Drek is in perfect position....to RAM the steps into Hoff's ribs!! The fans are livid as Drek drives the steel to Hoff's midsection, then lifts them up and does it AGAIN before casually tossing the steel to the side. Hoff rolls over onto HIS side, grabbing at his ribs and gritting his teeth in pain. As Hoff rolls away, Drek punds his chest and raises his arm into the air, prompting a shower of jeers from the Minneapolis area faithful. COLE Drek Stone is so proud of himself. He is so proud that he is able to mack Hoff in his own hometown. CABOOSE He should be! Drek walks over to Hoff and grabs him by the hair, yanking him up to his feet. Drek drags the dazed Hoff to the ring apron, and gives him a thumb to the eye! Hoff clutches his face, and Drek laughs as he sends Hoff into the ring. COLE Now come on, what's the point of that?! CABOOSE Hey, if you blind a man, he can't see. COACH Drek knows that it's all legal outside of the ring, and he's using the fact to his advantage! Drek climbs onto the ring apron, standing on the outside as, on the inside, Hoff uses the near ropes to pull himself up. Hoff stands mere inches from Drek as he gets to his feet, and Drek capitalizes with a knee to the midsection, delivered THROUGH the space between the ropes! Hoff shudders, almost collapsing, holding onto the top rope for support. Drek seizes the moment, grabbing Hoff by the hair and running him to the corner, slamming Hoff's face into the top turnbuckle!! Hoff falls backwards, holding his face in his hands as Drek steps into the ring. COLE Drek Stone, our OAOAST Champion, has fought off Hoff's onslaught and taken control of this match. CABOOSE That's why the man is the best. Drek struts arrogantly over to Hoff, who slowly makes his way to his knees. Drek Stone's trademark smirk has never been wider as he pulls Hoff up from behind. Drek grabs Hoff's right arm and twists the big man around, hooking him in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH! Hoff cries out in pain as Drek cinches in the hold! COACH Drek Stone going after those ribs of Hoff that he bashed with the steel ring steps! CABOOSE I don't know anything that's ever been in "good shape" after having a large, metal object dropped on it. Drek pulls back, grinning, obviously enjoying the level of torture he's inflicting. Hoff screams out, and the referee asks him if he wants to give, but Hoff shakes his head emphatically! The crowd picks up on it, stomping and yelling and trying to get their man fired up....but DREK GRABS THE TOP ROPE!! COLE Hey! Come on, that's cheating! CABOOSE Awww. You gonna tell on Drek to his mommy? Hoff SCREAMS bloody murder as Drek uses the added leverage to further torque Hoff's ribs. The ref checks on Hoff again, asking for a submission, but Hoff bites down, gritting his teeth and shaking his head. The ref looks up...but Drek has removed his hand from the top strand! The official notices the rope shaking, and questions Drek about it, but the Reckless One denies it vehemently. COLE Yeah, right. CABOOSE WHATEVER IT TAKES, Michael. That's what Drek does to win. COLE Including cheating!! CABOOSE Absolutely. The ref goes back to check on Hoff, putting himself in position for the big man's submission. Hoff desparately tries to twist forward, trying to throw Stone off of him....but Drek AGAIN grabs the top rope and yanks back on Hoff, drawing a cry from the big man and the ire of the crowd. The ref asks Hoff if he quits -- but then notices Drek's hand!! COLE Thank God! The official points to Drek's hand and the superstar quickly releases the rope, claiming it was an accident, but the official doesn't buy it and gives Drek a five-count to break. Drek starts jawing with the ref as he counts one...two...three...but Hoff HIPTOSSES Drek over as the referee hits four!! COACH Whoa, where did that come from?! COLE Hoff has so much power, even on bad ribs he's able to toss Drek over! Drek hits the mat and quickly gets back to his feet, only to be met with a sharp right hand from the big man!! Another, and another, and ANOTHER... "THE AMERICAN DREAM" DUSTY RHODES HE BE CLUBBERIN, TONY!! Hoff's barrage sends the champion reeling, into the ropes, and Hoff follwos him in, whipiing him off the far side and catching him with a BAAAAAAACK bodyd rop that sends Drek flying!! COLE What elevation!! Drek lands on his back and tailbone, and cries out in pain as he grabs his lower back. Hoff stretches out his right side and arm as he stalks over to where Drek has unceremoniously landed! Hoff uses his big boot to push Drek flat onto his back, then sizes the champion up and drops a BIG leg across his throat!! Hoff floats over into a lateral press!! COLE First cover of the match!! ONE! TWO! THR--NO, not quite, as Drek gets his shoulder up before the referee's hand hits. Hoff rolls off of Drek Stone and pulls him up, grabbing him by the neck and dropping him with a swinging neckbreaker! Hoff goes for another pinning attempt, but again, Drek Stone beats the count and gets his shoulder up! Hoff remains unflustered, pulling Drek back to his feet. Hoff whips Drek into the ropes again, and this time waits to meet the champion with a back elbow, but Drek ducks it!! Hoff turns his head back to meet Drek, who quickly grabs his challenger and drops him with a Side Effect! The fans boo loudly as Drek instinctively rolls into a cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT, drawing a cheer from the fans...but Drek quickly squelches that by rolling off of Hoff's chest and floating into a modified rear chinlock. COACH Nice use of the Side Effect by Drek Stone, furthering the damage to Hoff's ribs, and now he seemingly just wants to keep Hoff down. CABOOSE Hoff's one of the most powerful men perhaps in OAOAST history, but all that strength is meaningless when you're lying on the mat. Hoff lies on his back, and Drek lies neck to him on his side, slapping on a version of a rear chinlock. The ref checks to make sure it's all legal, as Drek Stone shifts his weight, getting to his knees behind Hoff and switching to the standard version of the hold. Hoff looks to either side, and, noting his position in the ring, tries rolling to the left side, to the nearest set of ropes. Drek Stone quickly puts a stop to that, though, yanking Hoff back to the center of the ring. Drek slides back on his knees, pulling Hoff to the true center of the ring. The official checks on Hoff, asking for a submission, but the big man tells him "no way." CABOOSE What about that power from Drek Stone, there? That's a nearly-300 pound man he's yanking to the middle of the ring! COLE Hoff standing 6'5", maybe 6'6" in his boots, weighing in at just about 275 pounds this evening, definitely has the size advantage over the World Champion Drek Stone, who stands about 6 foot 2, weighs about 235... COACH Yeah, but that weight advantage that Hoff has can be a weight DISadvantage in a situation like this! He's got more bulk to move around, and more body to supply oxygen to, if you understand what the Coach is sayin', playas! It's a question of endurance! CABOOSE Wow, they actually made you smarter. COACH HOLLA! Hoff looks to either side, and, seeing no alternative, simply starts fighting to his feet! The fans lend their support, stomping and clapping and SCREAMING and again the Hoff chant breaks out, and Hoff makes it to one knee as Drek's eyes go wide, and now Hoff is on his FEET, and he fires an elbow to Drek's ribs!! Another!! ANOTHER!! Drek doubles over and lets go of the hold, and here comes Hoff, CHARGING into the ropes, firing off, and throwing a BIG CLOTHESLINE--NO!! Drek Stone GRABS the arm and takes Hoff DOWN with a FUJIWARA ARMBAR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE YES!! Right out of the Chris Stevens playbook!! COLE Drek Stone simply had Hoff scouted. He knew what was coming and he absolutely KILLED Hoff's momentum. CABOOSE Ah, Cole, how many times have we seen Chris Stevens do the exact same thing to the big oaf? I told ya, this man has done his homework!! Drek Stone arches his back, leaning into the armbar, drawing a SCREAM from Hoff as his body racks in pain. Hoff grits his teeth as Drek torques his right shoulder and elbow, trying his damnedest to dislocate some joints. The referee again asks Hoff if he's had enough, but through gritted teeth, the big man manages to say no. COLE Hoff's not gonna give up just yet!! COACH Yeah, but how much more can he take? Drek Stone has been applying hold after hold, damaging the entire right side of Hoff's body, cutting off his oxygen... CABOOSE This has been a masterwork performance by the Champ thus far. Drek Stone leans into the hold, violently bending Hoff's right arm at a frightening angle. Hoff's face is a vision of pain, as the big man raises his left arm up...the referee asks Hoff if he gives, and Hoff says nothing, instead holding his hand in the air... COLE Come on, big man, don't quit now!! Not like this!! CABOOSE SHUT IT, fairy!! TAP, you son of a bitch, tap like the fraud of a contender you are!! Drek Stone looks over his shoulder, and seeing Hoff's hand ready to tap, leans back even FURTHER into the armbar, sending Hoff SPASMING in pain...but Hoff won't tap!! The Minneapolis crowd is DESPARATELY trying to help, chanting Hoff's name....and it seems to be working as Hoff uses the free left arm to drag himself towards the ropes!! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Drek puts all his power into the armbar....but Hoff takes another reach for the ropes, inching ever closer!! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Hoff makes a grab for the bottom strand...and he GETS it!! Hoff clings to the rope for dear life, and the official orders the champ to break the hold. Drek, looking absolutely FURIOUS, gets up off of Hoff's arm and yells at the ref, who tells Stone that there's nothing he can do! COLE Come on, Drek, rules are rules! CABOOSE Cole, a man like Drek Stone knows that rules are meant to be broken. COLE Drek Stone is despicable. CABOOSE He's also great. Drek turns his wrath back to the challenger, who has started using the ropes to assist himself back up. Drek walks behind Hoff and kicks him square in the left elbow, causing Hoff to let go of the ropes and fall back to the mat!! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Drek looks out to the crowd, and pounds his chest, sending the rabid fans into an angry fervor. Drek, scowling, turns back to Hoff, picking his opponent up off of the mat and driving a knee into his midsection! Hoff doubles over, and Drek grabs Hoff with a front facelock, screaming "THIS IS IT!" to the angry crowd!! COLE Drek looking for his signature StoneCutter!! If he hits this, it'll be all over!! Drek grabs Hoff by the waistband of the tights, preparing to lift him up...but Hoff falls to his knee!! Drek Stone laughs, condesencingly, at his opponent's weakness. CABOOSE Hoff is too weak to even stand! This is gonna be all over, boys, write it in the record books. Drek smirks as he reaches over Hoff's back, pulling the big man up by the back of the tights...but as he does Hoff surprises Drek with a double-leg takedown!! The fans go CRAZY as Hoff, from out of NOWHERE, turns Drek over into a BOSTON CRAB!! CABOOSE WHAT?!? COLE I don't BELIEVE it!! The crowd is in a FRENZY as Hoff sits down into the Boston Crab, aplying pressure to the back and legs of the champion!! Drek Stone FLAILS in the hold, desparately trying to crawl to the ropes, or break free, but the champ finds himself trapped! Hoff ROARS in triumph as Drek grabs his head, tearing at his hair in pain!! CABOOSE NO, Drek!! Your perfect coif! The referee asks Drek if he wishes to throw in the towel, but Stone shouts a plethora of curses at the man, and he steps back, monitoring the hold. CABOOSE I can't believe this. Drek was in control!! COLE This is how quickly the tide can change in a match between two stars of this caliber. Drek, using every muscle in his body, pulls himself closer to the ropes. Hoff arches back, trying to apply more pressure, but Drek takes another "step" towards the ropes. COACH The roles are rerversed from a few moments ago, but will the champion have enough to get to the ropes and break the hold? CABOOSE Oh, yes he will! COME ON, CHAMP!! Drek inches closer, and closer, and finally reaches the ropes, pulling Hoff with him. Drek wraps both arms around the bottom and second ropes, clinging to them, and the referee calls for the break. Hoff lets go, falling forward to his knees, exhaustion showing on his face. COACH Fellas, you've got to wonder how much the earlier submission holds have weared down the challenger! CABOOSE He can't be in good shape. I have never seen holds so expertly applied. Hoff has got to be racked in pain. COLE Drek Stone can't be feeling too hot either after that Boston Crab! CABOOSE You stay out of this. Hoff slowly gets to his feet, taking a moment to breathe and compose himself, as Drek Stone climbs up with the aid of the ropes. Drek heads to the nearby corner, resting, but Hoff turns and spies him. Hoff stalks toward Drek, approaching the corner, but Drek stops his advacne with a rake of the face!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" COLE Aw COME ON!! CABOOSE Heh. Drek scowls as Hoff steps back, holding his face. Drek steps out and grabs Hoff...but Hoff THROWS him back into the corner!! The Target Center erupts as Hoff charges as Drek with a SHOULDERBLOCK, sandwiching him against the turnbuckles!! Hoff steps back and delivers a big right hand, and another one, and another, sending the champion's head snapping back!! The offiical warns Hoff about using a closed fist... CABOOSE ABOUT TIME he caught that!! Hoff, though, hits him one more time, right between the eyes with a HUGE right that sends Drek reeling! Stone sinks in the corner, using it to support his weight, and Hoff wastes no time grabbing his arm and qhipping him cross-corner!! Drek hits the opposite buckle HARD, and the fans "ooooh" as his back arches in pain from the impact, before the champion sinks into the corner. COLE What power!! Hoff steps into the opposite corner, lining up with Drek and raising one finger high into the air!! Hoff charges at Drek, leaping into the air and coming down with the STINGER SPLASH...but Drek moves at the LAST SECOND!! Hoff hits chest-first, and stumbles out...and Drek grabs him in a full nelson!! COACH Could be the Recker, Drek's Dragon suplex!! COLE This is a vicious maneuver! Drek hooks Hoff, but the big man BLOCKS the suplex, hooking his foot around Drek's leg!! Drek steps away, but Hoff uses the momentary distraction to slip his left arm free!! Hoff turns arouns, twisting his right arm and grabbing Drek by the wrist...and Hoff LEVELS the champion with a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!! "YEEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!" Hoff makes the cover! ONE!! TWO!! THREE-NO!!! Drek kicks out at the last second!! CABOOSE COME ON, DREK!!! Hoff is up to his feet, and he pulls Drek up with him. The challenger grabs the champion and whips him into the ropes, waiting for him in the center of the ring. Drek Stone comes running...into a SNAP POWERSLAM!! COACH YO!! Hoff quickly hooks the leg of Drek Stone after the vicious power move! ONE!! TWO!! THR-KICKOUT!! Drek barely gets the arm up as the audience lets out a collective groan of disappointment. COLE Hoff ALMOST had him there! Hoff slaps the mat as he gets back to his feet, stepping behind the rising Drek Stone. Hoff sets up, poising behind Drek Stone, waving the champion to his feet!! The crowd comes ALIVE as Drek gets up, stumbling slightly as he regains his balance!! COLE The people know what's coming next!! Drek turns around, walking right into a SPINEBUST--NO!! Drek elbows Hoff on top of the head, causing the big man to drop the champ! Drek, in the blink of an eye, drives his forearm into theback of Hoff's neck, causing the big man to fall to his hands and knees!! The fans are livid as Drek steps over Hoff's back, and applies a CAMEL CLUTCH!! COLE Wow, a Camel Clutch from the world champion!! CABOOSE This is a great hold, Michael, it pulls on both the neck and the back. What a brilliant maneuver by our world's champion. Drek pulls back on Hoff's jaw, bending the neck in ways it was never meant to bend. The official asks Hoff if he wants to give up, but given the challenger's current predicament, all he can do is wave the man off. CABOOSE This might be it, guys. No, you know what? This IS it. It's all over. COLE Don't be so sure!! Drek Stone looks down at the top of Hoff's head, briefly letting go with his left arm to drive it into the top of Hoff's skull. The fans jeer the maneuver, so Drek does it again, then looks out over the fans. DREK "THIS IS YOUR HOMETOWN HERO!! AHAHAHAHA!!!" The fans DROWN the arena in a sea of boos, angerd nearly to the point of rioting by Drek's comment. The anger quickly fades, though, as Hoff surprises Drek Stone by slipping his chin free of the hold!! CABOOSE What the hell?! Hoff quickly crawls backwards, out from underneath Drek's legs, and gets to his knees!! The confused and surprised champion turns around! RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my GOD!! Hoff just caught Drek Stone with his signature spinebuster!! CABOOSE NO! NOOOOOOOO!! COLE Cover him, Hoff!! Hoff, though, lies on the mat, spent from Drek's relentless assault. Drek lies probe from the huge 'buster, and so the referee begins a ten count! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" The fans start making more noise, willing their man up off the canvas! "FIVE!" And Hoff starts to stir! The fans are ROARING!! "SIX!" Drek is still out! And Hoff rolls over onto his stomach!! "SEVEN!" Hoff crawls to the World Champion...and DRAPES AN ARM ACROSS HIS CHEST!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE NO!!!!!!!! Drek Stone BARELY, BARELY gets his shoulder off the mat!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE Oh, thank God. COLE What will Hoff have to do to put Drek Stone away?! Both men slowly, slowly get to their feet, shaking the cobwebs out of their heads. Hoff beats Drek by a second, but it's enough to throw a BIG right hand that stuns the champion! Hoff grabs Drek by the arm and whips him into the ropes, waiting for him to come off the other side! Drek bounds off the strands, and Hoff throws a LARIAT...but Drek DUCKS!! Before Hoff can react, Drek stops on a dime, turns around, and grabs Hoff with a SLEEPERHOLD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" COLE What a counter! CABOOSE Oh, yeah, Drek, SQUEEZE the life outta him!! The crowd gets on the champion as he cinches in the sleeper, tossing Hoff's head back and forth in an attempt to drain the big man's stamina. Hoff sinks to one knee, and the referee checks on him! COLE The official making sure the hold is completely legal... CABOOSE Of COURSE it is, Cole!! Drek is simply a master at the art of submission wrestling! Hoff sinks down to both knees...then falls backwards onto his BUTT, with Drek Stone kneeling behind him, keeping the hold applied tightly. COACH After all that Hoff's been through in this match, I wouldn't be surprised if this ends it. Hoff's eyes gloss over, and the crowd keeps booing Drek Stone for sapping the life from their hero. The official notices Hoff beginning to fade, and grabs his left arm, raising it into the air. The arm drops. The fans jeer as the official signals one to the timekeeper...but then they come alive, trying valiantly to rile Hoff out of his slumber. Drek keeps the hold expertly applied as the official raises Hoff's arm again. It drops a second time. CABOOSE Well, no one can say Hoff didn't put up one hell of a fight. The referee signals two, and the crowd knows it's now or never. Already horse from shouting, they scream as loud as they can, cheering, clapping, stomping, blowing airhorns, doing whatever they can to keep Hoff in the match. Drek's eyes light up, a sick smile on his face as the referee raises Hoff's arm for the third and final time. He lets it go.... AND IT STAYS UP. COLE OH MY GOD!!! The fans BLOW THE ROOF off of the Target Center as Hoff forms a fist!! Drek Stone is beside himself as somehow, Hoff keeps his arm up, staying alive!! The glassy look fades from Hoff's face, and the big man fights to one knee!! Drek tries as hard as he can to lock in the hold even tighter, but Hoff, feeling the momentum, fights up to his feet!! Drek tries clamping the headlock on tighter, but Hoff slips himself behind the Champion, lifts him up -- AND DROPS him to the mat with a Spinning Out Powerbomb! COACH YO~!~! COLE Ouch! Drek’s head just bounced off the mat from that powerbomb! This match has really started to get wild! CABOOSE Well, it looks like it’s about to get a whole hell of a lot more wild in a second. Look who’s running down to the ring! The camera peels back and focuses on the ramp to find Chris Stevens dashing down to ringside with a steel chair in his hand. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The Minneapolis crowd is going absolutely insane with jeers as Stevens immediately slides into the ring with the steel chair in his hand. COACH Oh, come on! The last thing we need to see is Chris Stevens out here right now! CABOOSE Forget that! ANY time is a good time for Chris Stevens! Hoff’s eyes widen as he notices his arch-enemy is only seconds away from ruining his Heavyweight Title opportunity. Wielding the bat with as much strength as a pre-steroid trial Jason Giambi, Stevens takes a HUUUUUUUUGE swing with the steel chair…. …AND HOFF DUCKS THE CHAIRSHOT! “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The fans in attendance let out a deep gasp as Stevens winds up hitting nothing by air. The momentum of the swing sends him spinning back around, allowing Hoff to hit him with a well-placed shot to the face! The crowd roars as Stevens falls to the mat, allowing the chair to completely slip out of his hands. Hoff starts laying in a nasty series of stomps to the body of Chris Stevens. He then peels him off the mat by his hair -- and throws him OVER the top rope and to the arena floor! COACH There we go! Even Chris Stevens isn’t going to be enough to put Hoff down tonight! Once Stevens hits the floor, a gang of security guards immediately swoop in around him and drag him to his feet. They start pulling him back up to the ramp to a massive reaction. Stevens does his best to struggle out of their grip, but he’s finding that it just isn’t working too well. With everyone focused on the action outside the ring, including the referee, Hoff slowly picks the steel chair up off the mat with a smile on his face. The crowd finally turns his attention to him and begin screaming, as Hoff proudly holds the chair up over his head. CABOOSE There’s no way. He couldn’t dare think of doing this! COACH Hoff, calm down. Don’t get disqualified! You can beat Drek without it! CABOOSE Oh, no, he can’t! But he wouldn’t dare use this chair! He doesn’t have that mean streak anymore! He doesn’t have it! Despite Caboose’s rantings, Hoff is definitely giving off that impression that his mean streak really does still exist. With a scowl, he stares at Drek Stone, who is still slowly trying to raise himself up off the mat. With the referee’s back still turned, Hoff waits for the Heavyweight Champion to stand back up. Once he does, Hoff takes a deep breath. Charges forward! SWINGS the steel chair! Watches Drek Stone duck! Sees the referee turn his attention back to the ring action! AND HITS THE REFEREE RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! “OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The crowd lets out a loud groan as the referee crumbles down to the mat immediately, holding his head in crippling pain. Hoff slams the chair down to the arena floor in complete frustration afterwards. COLE OH NO! The referee is down! CABOOSE Do you see how inept this guy is?! He tries to get back that vicious streak and he winds up taking it out on the referee! COACH That is such a tough break! But come on, Hoff. Don’t take your attention away from the task at hand! Unfortunately, that seems to be exactly what Hoff is doing. Instead of focusing on his opponent, he bends down and starts attending to the referee. He tries to shake the official back into consciousness, but that chair shot was just way too hard. The referee is out cold. As Hoff does his best to get the ref back up, he suddenly gets blindsided with a hard forearm to the side of the head from none other than Drek Stone. CABOOSE Did he really think he could take his attention away from Drek Stone for more than a few moments?! Hoff stumbles forward after the forearm, right into the corner. The Heavyweight Champion swoops in right after him and quickly clamps Hoff’s arms behind his head in a full-nelson position. COLE Full nelson?! I don’t think I’ve seen this move present in the OAOAST for years! COACH Yeah, well, there’s a reason for that. Drek pulls the big man away from the corner and into the center of the ring. Drek starts swinging Hoff around the ring with the full nelson still locked on, until he realizes that the #1 Contender is coming very, very close to muscling out of the move with his sheer strength. But Drek, thinking quickly, then lifts Hoff up off the ground -- and DROPS him to the mat with a full nelson drop! The crowd starts solidly jeering once again as Hoff hits the ringmat fully on the back of his head. CABOOSE There we go! As Drek said last Thursday, Hoff might have more muscle. But Drek is much more skillful at actually using strength to his advantage! As Hoff lays stunned on the mat, the Heavyweight Champion tries to make the best of this opportunity. Grabbing a solid grip of Hoff’s hair, he starts violently yanking him off the mat and back up to his feet. Once the #1 Contender is in a standing position, Drek gives him a stiff kick to the stomach and sets him up in a front-facelock position. COLE Drek Stone looks like he’s seconds away from closing this match out! CABOOSE Oh, we can only hope! The fans start screaming for Hoff to do something -- ANYTHING -- to escape out of the Stonecutter. Drek, loving to hear their pleading, smiles widely, then tightens the grip aroud Hoff’s neck. He finally LIFTS HIM UP FOR THE STONECUTTER…. CABOOSE YES!! ….NO! Drek jumps up for his finishing move, but by holding the nearby top rope, Hoff manages to stay steady on his own two feet! Once Drek floats back to the mat, Hoff hits him with a vicious punch to the stomach. Stone doubles over for a second, which gives Hoff the chance to wrap his large forearm around the champion’s neck, and pull him back into a rear facelock position. COACH Uh-oh! Now it’s Hoff’s turn to see if he could finish this thing off! Drek tries swatting his way out of the move, but they don’t seem to be working too effectively at this point. With the Minneapolis crowd screaming in approval, Hoff lifts Drek Stone up in a reverse-suplex position…. CABOOSE NO! NO!! …AND DROPS HIM TO THE MAT WITH THE FUTURE SHOCK!! “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” “HOFF!” “HOFF!” “HOFF!” Immediately after the move, Hoff rolls Drek Stone onto his back and makes the cover. “ONE!!!!!” “TWO!!!!” “THREE!!!” “FOUR!!!” CABOOSE What the hell are these people counting for?! There’s no referee! Hoff groans as he also comes to the realization that there is simply no official present to make the count. But his disappointment comes to a quick end when he spots a SECOND referee running down to ringside and sliding into the ring! CABOOSE NO!!! NO!!! ONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! NO!! SHOULDER UP!! Nearly every single soul in the building lets out a huge gasp as Drek JUST manages to get out of the pinfall attempt. CABOOSE Oh, thank GOD! THANK GOD! COLE I can NOT believe just how close we were to crowning a new Heavyweight Champion. COACH And everyone here in Minneapolis --- including Hoff -- just can’t believe Drek Stone kicked out of the Future Shock! CABOOSE Damn! What are the odds that a second referee would come at THAT very moment? I mean, really now! The odds continue to be stacked against our champion! Hoff rolls off Drek’s chest, just looking completely spent. It’s easy to see that there’s no way he thought Drek Stone would be able to kick out of the Future Shock. Inhaling deep breaths now, Hoff moves back up to his feet and raises his arms up to his hometown crowd. “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!” Calmly wiping the sweat off his forehead, Hoff grabs the Heavyweight Champion by the back of his head and starts lifting him to his feet once more. Once Drek woozily gets into a standing position, Hoff hooks him into prime position for a Rock Bottom! COACH The Future Shock might not have finished Drek Stone off, but this Rock Bottom DEFINITELY would if he hits it! For a moment, Hoff looks out at the crowd piled into the Target Center, each one shouting for him to put this one away. With triumph almost imminent, HOFF LIFTS DREK STONE UP FOR THE ROCK BOTTOM….. …..BUT, IN MID-AIR, DREK SLIDES BEHIND HOFF’S BACK AND BRINGS HIM DOWN WITH A CRUCIFIX PIN!! The building explodes in shock as the referee drops down for the count! ONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! TWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! KICKOUT!! HOFF JUST MUSCLES HIS WAY OUT OF THE CRUCIFIX!! CABOOSE I do NOT believe it! What in the HELL will it take to get Hoff down for the three count?! Drek, not believing that his Herculean effort would only earn him a two count, turns to the referee and angrily holds up three fingers. You know, to indicate that he thought it was a three count. The referee shakes his head and says, indeed, that the count was only two. In frustration, Drek stands back up and gets closer to the referee. This time, he bumps chests with the official, shoving him into the corner, still screaming that it was a three count. Once again, the referee tells him it was only two. COLE Drek Stone is really starting to lose his cool here. This is not a mistake I think he wants to make. Seeing that he’s not going to get anywhere by arguing with the referee, the Heavyweight Champion turns away from him and focuses his attention back onto Hoff, who is slowly making his way back up by using the middle rope. As the #1 Contender struggles to stand, Drek waits behind him, almost as if he was stalking him. After a few moments, Hoff finally manages to get up! He starts to turn around slowly, and Drek jumps up for a huricarana! NO! Hoff catches him into a powerbomb position! CABOOSE Oh no! OH NO!! Drek tries kicking his legs excitedly to get out of the predicament, but Hoff tightens his grip on the champ’s lower body. He then starts sprinting around the ring, trying to throw off Drek Stone’s sense of balance. COACH Could Hoff REALLY be going for what I think he is?! After a few moments of running, Hoff stops in the center of the ring. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Screaming loudly, Hoff finally swings his opponent off his shoulders. As Drek goes hurtling down, Hoff catches him -- AND SPIKES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A BRUTAL SPINEBUSTER!! COLE H-BOMB!! HOFF HIT THE H-BOMB ON DREK STONE!! COACH We haven’t seen that move in MONTHS! Drek Stone hits the mat lifelessly, and Hoff immediately hooks the leg for the pinfall. The referee drops down for the count! CABOOSE NO! NO! DREK, KICK OUT! PLEASE KICK OUT! ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! TWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *DING! DING! DING!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!” The Target Center absolutely ERUPTS once they hear that bell ring, with everyone instantly rising to their feet in celebration. “Black” starts to blast over the loudspeakers as Hoff rolls off Drek’s body and looks out to the crowd with a wide grin on his face. COLE YES! YES! HOFF DID IT!! HOFF HAS CAPTURED THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ONCE AGAIN!! CABOOSE I…..I can’t believe it. Oh no, this can’t be happening! The reaction in the building manages to get even louder once the referee actually hands the Heavyweight Belt to Hoff. With tears in his eyes, Hoff cradles the belt in his right hand and kisses the gold plating of the title excitedly. CABOOSE Not right before AngleMania. Oh, god. I can’t believe this is happening. Buffer even has a smile on his face as he walks into the ring and picks up the microphone to make the final announcement. BUFFER Your winner……..AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT……wait, what? Michael Buffer’s announcement is suddenly stopped by the referee, who seems to be whispering something in his ear. But this isn’t the referee who made the count. Oh, no. This is the referee that originally got hit in the head with that steel chair. The camera zooms up close to catch the conversation between the two men. BUFFER So wait, what are you trying to say here? REFEREE #1 I’m saying Hoff needs to get disqualified for using that steel chair. I’m the designated referee, and I say this match ends in a disqualification. Announce it. The crowd, catching a snippet of this conversation, begins getting absolutely livid as Buffer moves the microphone towards his mouth. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I’m being told there has been a change in plans. Since Hoff hit this referee with a steel chair before, he is now being officially disqualified for those actions! So your winner….. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” BUFFER ..AND STILLLL THE OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…. Suddenly, Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the referee once again. But now, this is the one that actually made the Hoff pinfall earlier. REFEREE #2 No. Michael, make the announcement I told you to make earlier. REFEREE #1 Excuse me! I was the designated man for this contest, and I was taken out by Hoff swinging that steel chair! This may not be popular, but it’s the right decision! Hoff needs to be disqualified for those actions! REFEREE #2 No way! Hoff did not hit you with that steel chair intentionally! I was still here to make the three count, and Hoff won the title fair and square. Buffer, announce it the way it should be. Referee #2 walks over to Hoff and raises his right hand, receiving a massive positive reaction in return. REFEREE #1 Don’t you dare. I told you how to announce this ending! Referee #1 moves over to Drek Stone, who is now leaning against a nearby corner, sucking in air as quickly as possible. The official raises Drek’s hand, this time getting a huge amount of jeers for doing so! CABOOSE Well, I know which way I would decide this thing. COLE There are two opposing viewpoints here -- but, in a way, both of them are actually right. How could this be decided? The two referees raise the combatants’ respective hands once again, with the fan reactions altering between cheers and jeers. After a few seconds of that… Edited February 28, 2005 by Stephen Joseph Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 *click! click! click! click!* UNO! DOS! TRES! CATORCE! “Vertigo” begins to blast over the loudspeakers, as Josie steps out through the curtains with a disappointed frown on her face. Standing at the top of the ramp with a microphone, she doesn’t waste any time walking down to the ring, instead making her announcement from the rampway. JOSIE Is it impossible for me to put on a show without some kind of problem always happening? Wow. I just finish getting an impressive win over Zack Malibu, and now this happens. Well, let’s see….both referees are justified in their viewpoint. The HeldDown GM then points at Hoff, to address his problem first. JOSIE Hoff, you know I like you. But I can not overlook the fact that you used that steel chair to hit the referee. If he were conscious to make the decision, you would have been automatically disqualified and rightfully so. But now, Drek…. Josie then points at Drek Stone next. JOSIE Let’s be straight up with each other. You just got your shoulders pinned down for the three count by that man over there. Going by the rulebook, he probably should be disqualified, but I simply can not look past the fact that he still got a pinfall over you. Like I said earlier, each referee is justified in thinking the way they do. So, I have come to a quick decision. And this decision will be final. She takes a quick sigh before continuing. JOSIE Since there is no clear-cut winner at this point, I am ordering this match to CONTINUE! With the original referee. The announcement, predictably, earns a mixed reaction from the crowd. Some happy to actually see this Drek Stone/Hoff confrontation continue, but others upset that Hoff has already been stripped of the belt. COACH All things considered, that was probably the only fair decision our General Manager could make. CABOOSE Even if the match was a tie, the only fair decision is to award a tie to the champion. But then again, I’m not shocked she made such a dumb, selfish decision. *DING! DING! DING!* Hoff, looking to get this over as quickly as possible, tries charging forward at Drek Stone with a powerful lariat, but is abruptly taken down with a rapid drop-toe hold. Hoff hit’s the mat face-first, and Drek immediately drops onto his back with an elbowdrop. He rises, and drops onto Hoff’s back with a second elbowdrop. And then connects with a third! Hoff tries moving onto his knees to brave the assault, but Drek yanks him up by his neck and pushes him into a turnbuckle. COLE Both superstars are just trying to physically maim each other now, desperately attempting to get that final pinfall. As Hoff leans against the corner, still stunned over the attack, Drek picks the #1 Contender up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. The fans start buzzing as Drek slowly scales the corner after him. After spending a few seconds struggling to make it to the top rope, Drek finally gets up there. COACH This has absolutely become the point where neither wrestler can afford to make a mistake. Drek Stone really needs to be careful here. Once both men are on the top turnbuckle, Drek hooks Hoff up in a superplex position, receiving another loud reaction from the crowd. However, a rowdy chorus of boos suddenly starts to echo throughout the Target Center as the Minneapolis crowd spots Jumbo lumbering down the ramp to the ring. COACH Don’t these guys ever give up?! CABOOSE Hate truly is a powerful emotion. Once he gets down to ringside, Jumbo tries stepping through the ropes to enter the ring, but the referee is right there to stop him. Jumbo starts arguing that he needs to get in there to find his lost contact -- which makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever -- but the official refuses to allow him to enter. While this is going on, Drek tries pulling Hoff of the top turnbuckle….but finds it blocked! The Heavyweight Champion attempts to summon his strength for another try….but it’s blocked once more. COLE Uh oh! Coach, remember when you said Drek needed to be careful up there? Now, it’s Hoff’s turn. Planting a well-placed knee into Drek’s midsection, Hoff now lifts the champ up -- AND DROPS HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE MAT!! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” CABOOSE That face! That strikingly handsome face! Drek lifelessly hits the ground as the fans passionately root for Hoff to finish this off. Hoff slowly braces himself on the top turnbuckle and stands. The fans pop loudly, knowing that their hometown hero could be ready to hit his breathtaking top rope elbow drop. COLE THIS IS IT! IT’S OVER! CABOOSE How many times has that comment failed for you before?! Once he finally steadies himself up there, Hoff gets ready to jump -- but sees Chris Stevens hopping up to the apron with a steel chair in his hand! COACH Oh, come on! Now he needs to come in through the crowd?! Someone get him out of there! Stevens immediately rushes forward with the chair and… *CLANG* SMACKS IT RIGHT OVER HOFF’S HEAD! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The fans shout as Hoff starts teetering back and forth on the top turnbuckle -- and then finally falls face-first down onto the mat. With a wide grin, Stevens hops off the apron and escapes back through the crowd. Jumbo follows his lead and manages to jump over the barricade after him. COLE Oh, DAMN HIM! Chris Stevens shouldn’t even be getting involved here! CABOOSE Correction, Cole! This match should not even be continuing! It’s ALL fair game now! Once Hoff hits the mat, the impact of that fall actually seems to help Drek Stone out of his stupor. The Heavyweight Champion picks his head up off the mat slowly and attempts to shake the cobwebs out. He then gradually tries inching his way over the the #1 Contender, with the fans screaming for Hoff with every passing move. Finally, once Drek gets close enough, he lifts an arm up…. CABOOSE Come on! You can do this! I know you can! ….AND DRAPES IT OVER HOFF! The referee makes the count! COLE Come on. Not like this! ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! SHOULDER UP!! HOFF GETS A SHOULDER UP!! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” CABOOSE That is impossible! There is no way that son of a bitch could have kicked out of that! COLE Well, he did! And this match will continue! Practically dry heaving now, Drek rolls off his opponent, unable to believe that yet another pinfall has gone unsuccessfully. Placing his hand on Hoff’s chest, Drek pushes himself back up to his feet, but rocks back towards the rope instantly. His balance has been completely thrown off. He staggers towards Hoff’s legs, picks up the left one, and wraps his body around it. CABOOSE Yes! Figure Four! Drek does this better than the Nature Boy, himself! COACH ……. COLE …..hmm, I really thought Ric Flair was going to comment right there. As Drek gets ready to slap on the Figure Four, he suddenly stops when he spots Axel running down the ramp and stomping into the ring. COLE What in the hell is Axel doing here?! Drek releases the hold and immediately swings at Axel, but gets a solid hand clamped around his throat instead. Before Drek can really struggle out of it, the Dark One picks him up into a burning hammer position -- -- AND DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE AXEL SLAM!! *DING! DING! DING!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Without hesitation, Buffer knows the right decision in this case. No one in the building even really needs to guess what that bell actually meant. BUFFER WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AS A RESULT OF DISQUALIFICATION……AND STILLLLLLLLL OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……..DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The sounds of “Woke Up This Morning” start to kick up over the loudspeakers as Drek lays unconscious in the center of the ring. CABOOSE What the hell? Someone get Axel the hell out of there! He’s a psycho! COACH Even I can’t disagree with these boos right there. “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” They all know that Axel has just cost Hoff the chance to win the Heavyweight Title. Right after Axel drives Drek Stone into the mat with the Axel Slam, he sits on his chest and starts choking the Heavyweight Champion for dear life. CABOOSE Oh no. Axel has gone completely insane! Somebody get in there and help Drek Stone! Who cares if Crystal turned on Axel tonight?! THAT’S NOT DREK’S FAULT! COACH What do you care?! He just retained the Heavyweight Title! CABOOSE He didn’t NEED Axel’s help to retain his title! And he doesn’t NEED Axel trying to choke him to death right here, either! Someone get in there! Drek Stone starts flailing his legs, but it actually doesn’t affect Axel one bit. He continues to tighten his vice-like grip around the champion’s neck, choking him for all that he can. AXEL YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO LAUGH AT ME?! YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY WHAT CRYSTAL DID TO ME?! THIS IS FUNNY TO YOU?! As Drek does his best to suck air into his compressed windpipe, Axel simply continues to squeeze. AXEL WELL, LAUGH NOW! LAUGH, YOU SON OF A BITCH!! THIS IS DAMNED FUNNY, ISN’T?! Drek’s face actually starts to turn a slight shade of purple, as Axel once again tightens on the choke. However, the Dark One suddenly finds himself pulled off the mat and onto his feet by a very understandably angry Hoff. Hoff shoves Axel nearly halfway across the ring, but Axel moves back to the big man, and the two superstars stand face-to-face with one another. HOFF What in the hell do you think you are doing?! WHAT IN THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! Without warning, Axel suddenly picks Hoff up over his head -- and drops HIM to the mat with an Axel Slam as well! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The crowd actually roars with shock upon seeing Axel turning on his own friend. COACH WHOA!!! The action actually receives a mixed reaction from the fans in attendance. From the most part, the majority of the fans are standing and loudly booing the Dark One’s actions. However, there still remain a slight percentage of fans actually cheering, feeling some kind of connection to this superstar who has had his heart absolutely shattered tonight. COLE I can NOT believe Axel would turn on his own friend like that! Not only spiking him with an Axel Slam, but costing him the Heavyweight Title as well. CABOOSE Whoa, whoa! He didn’t cost him a damn thing! Drek Stone had this match well wrapped-up, and I don’t care what you say. He didn’t need that baboon’s help there to give him a disqualification win!! Some of the fans actually start to pelt the ring with trash as Axel stares down solemnly at both Drek Stone and Hoff laying prone in the ring. With tears in his eyes, the Dark One suddenly falls to his knees. CABOOSE And now he’s crying?! What the hell is going on with Axel?! COLE I honestly don’t know. This is a little scary. COACH It’s simple. Axel is heartbroken, plain and simple. The love of his life just turned on him tonight. What just happened to Drek Stone and Hoff -- that’s the kind of stuff that can happen when a man who has nothing to live for is unleashed. CABOOSE Spare the drama, Coach. Spare it. Axel is going to pay for what he did tonight. He WILL PAY! Still on his knees, with his eyes continuing to water, Axel slowly crawls over towards the ring ropes and stares out at the AngleTron, Almost as if he’s in a trance. Almost as if he can’t even believe what he’s just done. And the camera slowly fades away as Axel whispers two words to himself, just loud enough so the people at home can hear. “My Crystal….” *sob* “My Crystal….” FADE TO BLACK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production WRITTEN BY Hoff NY Untouchable Nice Guy Adam Patty O'Green Zack Malibu Chuck Woolery Mystery Eskimo Tony149 King Cucaracha #1MST3K Mark Papacita Amazing Rando GRAPHICS Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Tony149 CWM Anglesault EXECUTIVES IN CHARGE OF PPV PRODUCTION Tony149 Stephen Joseph EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Zack Malibu Mystery Eskimo Patty O'Green Hoff NY Untouchable Chuck Woolery Canadian Chick DIRECTED BY Stephen Joseph © 2005 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
