Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 MICHAEL COLE Welcome to the 2005 Angle Awards! Ladies and Gentlemen, to present our first awards, Gimmick of the Year and Rookie of the Year, please welcome my two broadcast colleagues, Jonathon Coachman, and current OAOAST Fall of Haimer, Caboose. *Mild applause* Coach and Caboose walk up to the podium, decked out in as expensive suits as they could afford on crappy announcers wages, and begin the FUNNY COMEDIC SPIEL~! COACH You know Caboose; there have been many great Gimmicks in the history of this federation. CABOOSE Yes Coach, gimmicks such as ‘Totally Endorsed’ Calvin Szechstein, Naz Mistry, and Ragdoll have ranged from the funny to the insane. On the other end of the spectrum, there was Damaramu, and if he asks, no, we didn’t read your work you hypocritical fuck. COACH But tonight, the Best Gimmick of the year 2004 will be announced. The nominees are: Zack Malibu, the psychotic Franchise, Fall of Haimer, obsessed with the OAOAST Title; ‘The Dark One’ Axel, a hybrid of many dark characters, including Raven and the Undertaker; Rick Edwards, who transformed from superhero The Blurricane, to a bitter star; Phenom, the newest enigma to grace the OAOAST; and Crazy Vampire, quite possibly the worst idea for a character ever. COACH And the winner is… CABOOSE Well, this is no surprise… Zack Malibu! Zack makes his way up to the lecturn and smiles at the crowd, but before he can utter a word, his microphone is cut off! CABOOSE Sorry Zack, we're running voer time already! Let's move onto Rookie of the Year! COACH Well, moving on, we come to our second award of the night. CABOOSE This is one of those main event awards, in my opinion. It’s now time to decide the Rookie of the Year -- and, in my opinion, there really is only one correct decision to be made. COACH Hmm. Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t have to ask who you were going to say. Either way, 2004 has just been an absolute great year for rookies. To the point where four of them have actually had a major OAOAST title this year. CABOOSE Don’t forget two of them even managed to capture the Heavyweight Championship! COACH ….Phenom? CABOOSE What the hell are you talking about? COACH You know…Phenom. 24/7 Champion. BAM BABY, THAT’S WHAT I LIKE. The whole deal. Come on Boose, you know! CABOOSE No. He wasn’t even nominated for this award. COACH ……hmm. Really? Well, this is a little awkward. I should have done my research for this thing, huh? CABOOSE You…you MORON! You just ruined the entire flow we had going! You couldn’t stick to the teleprompter? You have to include your own comments?! COACH Well, it’s not like you have to yell about it! CABOOSE Ugh…well, anyway, let’s just get to the nominees. Chris Bryte. Been an effective thorn in the side of Panther all year. Along with The Hand, this evil mastermind was able to put both Tina and Panther on the sidelines for several months -- and let’s not forget, actually being responsible for a murder as well. Drek Stone. The current OAOAST Heavyweight Champion. Managed to run roughshod over some of the biggest names in the sport today -- and looked damn stylish while he did it too. Also a former Italian Champion and Round Robin Tourney winner as well. Gunner Sharps. Former 24/7 Champion and possibly THE strongest guy to ever step into an OAOAST ring. Just an absolute monster, and everyone knows it. Once he hits you with that spear, you can just say goodbye. Hoff. Former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion and 24/7 Title Holder. Also managed to win the Emperor of Death tournament along the way. His evil streak was shown in 2004 with Thrillogy, but he remains one of the most popular superstars in the federation today. Leon Rodez. The current OAOAST X-Division champion. Definitely one of the best fighting champions to hold the title since he won it back in October. And, let’s be honest -- not just anyone could actually get more popular by starring in a seedy porno video. COACH And there we go. I think we finally have everything set. CABOOSE I would hope so. COACH Well, without further ado….the Rookie of the Year! Coach tears open the envelope -- or at least tries to. He finds himself actually unable to open the flap. COACH Jeez…this is some tough glue they used, you know? CABOOSE Oh, for the love of… Caboose tears the envelope away from Coach and manages to open it without a problem. Coach looks down sheepishly, as Caboose reads the results. CABOOSE And the winner is…. YES!! DREK STONE!! Immediately after the announcement, that all-too familiar theme song starts playing. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One Drek Stone stands up from his table with a wide smile on his face and starts walking up to the stage slowly, arrogantly taking in the moment for all he can. Dressed in a black-and-white tuxedo, with the Heavyweight Title glittering around his waist, Drek moves up to the podium and simply winks at the camera. Caboose can be seen clapping excitedly in the background, while Coach can’t help but keep his eyes on the floor. Drek then accepts the award and holds it above his head, obviously still cherishing the moment. DREK Well, I can safely say that this night is certainly starting off on the right foot. I mean, I didn’t have any doubts whatsoever that I would be winning Rookie of the Year. Honestly now, how could I not have? Think of all the accomplishments I’ve achieved in the ten months I’ve been in the OAOAST. Think of all the people I’ve defeated to get here. From The Mad Cappa to Panther. From Sly Sommers to Calvin Szechstein. From Crystal to AJ Flaire. From Leon Rodez to Damaramu. I’ve been successful in Ladder Matches, I-Quit Matches, Hardcore Matches, Run for the Gold competitons…..hell, even in an Elimination Chamber! I’ve done it all, baby. Along the way, I even managed to successfully capture the Italian Championship -- oh yeah, not to mention the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship as well! I’ve done it all in the past ten months! I’ve done more than these other guys could ever wish to do. And that includes that bastard Hoff over there as well. Hoff rises out of his chair slightly, earning a cheer from all the other wrestlers sitting in attendance. Axel gets up and tries to get the Zero Hour contender to sit down, but Hoff continues to stare up at the stage. DREK Oh yeah, Hoff. That applies to you. This is why I’m standing up here and you’re down there, without a single award in your hand. What have you managed to do in the past year?! You lost to CWM at AngleMania….quite the accomplishment. You were the mop-up bitch for Thrillogy for a few months. Congratulations. Oh, and let’s not forget that you just barely squeaked by Crystal at World Without End to win the Heavyweight belt -- and then suddenly had to give it up. Hoff, for anyone else, that kind of year would be an embarrassment. For you, it’s just completely normal. Did you really think you would win Rookie of the Year?! Did you even think you would get that close?! Are you THAT deluded?! What an absolute JOKE you are! The camera catches another glimpse of Hoff, who continues to stare up at Drek Stone, silently seething at the Champion’s comments. DREK I love that jealousy in your eyes, Hoff. I really do love to see it. But, as great as it is, it’s not going to come close to seeing the pain that will be in your eyes tomorrow night when I walk out of Zero Hour with the Heavyweight Title still around my waist. Folks, you were all right with this particular decision. I AM the Rookie of the Year. And I really do hope you all made the right decision once again later on tonight when I walk away with the Superstar of the Year award as well. These guys -- they have nothing on me. And it’s damn sure about time that people recognize that very fact. Thank you very much. As “Woke Up This Morning” hits up over the loudspeakers once again, Drek steps off the stage and starts walking back to his table amidst a slight amount of booing from the wrestlers in attendance. Nearby, Hoff starts to slowly sit down once again into his seat with a frown still on his face. Looking for some kind of consolation, he grabs the nearest Smirnoff Ice near him and starts to chug it down. CABOOSE What a drunk….couldn’t even go for a respectable alcohol drink. COACH So there we go. Zack Malibu and Drek Stone both walk away with the initial two awards tonight -- and there’s still a lot more to get to! COLE Now, throughout the night, we will be looking back on the five Superstar of the Year candidates one by one. Four out of the five stars were former OAOAST Champions, and one has since left us. Let’s start with The Female Phenom, Crystal. “Set it Off” by Audioslave begins, as we are treated to a montage of Crystal’s year, including her OAOAST Title victory, victory over Zack Malibu in War Games, and her one hour draw with Sly Sommers at HeldDown Australia; coupled with comments by her peers. AXEL She’s amazing; the stuff she can do in the ring is unmatched. ZACK She is one of the toughest opponents I’ve worked against, and what she has done is incredible. HOFF Crystal? Jeez, that girl can wrestle. The barriers that she has broken down for her gender are amazing, she can do things that no guy could ever hope to do. DREK She’s a sure-fire future Fall of Haimer, and one of my toughest opponents. SCOTTY STATIC The girl is an inspiration. I hope she wins it. JOHNNY JACKSON Me too. Go girl! *Commercial Break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 COLE Welcome back to the OAOAST Angle Awards for Two Thousand Five. Our next two awards are group awards, and who better to announce the recipients of these awards than one of the premiere groups of their time, New Kids on the Block. JORDAN KNIGHT Thank you, thank you. JON KNIGHT You know, being a good group requires a lot of hard work and dedication. DANNY WOOD And you will encounter many hurdles along the way. DONNIE WAHLBERG That’s why you gotta tackle each coming problem – hit it! NKOTB Step by Step! NKOTB break into a song and dance, but quickly stop, when they realise that the room is full of wrestlers who really, really hate them. JOE MCINTYRE Thank you once again. Now, the nominees for Best Tag Team are: Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson, the Global Party Exchange. These two men are the most popular Tag Team in the OAOAST, and their amazing run in 2004 culminated with a victory over Black T for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship. 2 Time Tag Team Champions. Dan Black and T-Bod, Black T. They weren’t even supposed to be a regular team, but Black T had more success than any other team in this company in 2004. Made the Tag Division what it is today. 2 Time Tag Team Champions, and HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. "Sarcastic" Simon Singelton and "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard, The New New Midnight Express. Entering the OAOAST with Jim Cornette, the New New Midnight Express are quite possibly the best new Tag Team in the federation. De-throning the Global Party Exchange last August for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship was the highlight of this teams’ year. JINGUS and The Sadist, Hells Hitmen. The biggest Tag Team in the federation, Hell’s Hitmen destroy whoever is in their path. Explosive power is the only way to describe this team. Logan "Cowabunga" Mann & Synth Esizer, The Saints. Another great debuting Tag Team, these rockers feuded with The Global Party Exchange before going after the NNMX. While no title reigns have graced their careers, its only a matter of time before they obtain gold. New Kids on the Block clap at the montage, completely missing their cue, and fucking up the entire segment. They soon realise this, and quickly get on the microphone to announce the winner. NKOTB And the Best Tag Team Award goes to… BLACK T! “Quiet:” by Smashing Pumpkins hits, as T-Bod steps up to the stage, with Dan Black not far behind. Obviously being rushed along, T-Bod pulls a few cards out of his pocket and accepts the award, before handing it over to Dan. TONY Not to sound egotistical, but this was expected. Black T has been the backbone of the tag team division since Eskimo and I joined forces in the Spring of 2003, and what a wild ride it's been. When Mystery Eskimo first approached me with the idea of forming a team I wasn't too sure. I was coming off a "feud" with Anglesault, which was a feud by name only because with the exception of two or three things I wrote the entire angle since it was basically a way just to bring the namesake back for the biggest show of the year, AngleMania. At that point in time IZ had become the red-headed bastard stepchild after the OAOAST's version of WWE's brand extension occurred. The company had seen an influx of talent so it seemed like a good idea to spoof the brand extension. Hey, it sounded good in a post. Thanks to recruitment by Zack Malibu, the most seductive member of the OAOAST, HeldDOWN immediately landed many of the big names and most promising writers. Sound familiar? It should. Because it's very much like the way SmackDOWN is currently treated by WWE: Raw, the flagship show is treated with much more respect than SmackDOWN. The difference between the two -- we pissed on our flagship show (IZ) while WWE pisses on their "B-show." The final month of IZ saw 4 main contributors -- myself, Eskimo, PRL and Popick. If I forgot somebody, forgive me. The point is, the show was very limited. So here I am, a guy best known for posting PPVs (I also came up with the names for Intense Zone and HeldDOWN, FYI), no experience writing matches whosoever, although I had written a couple as last-minute substitutions, and I'm being asked by the guy who was apart of one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history (Miracle Weirdness Connection) to be his mystery partner in the tournament to crown new tag team champions. I was hesitant. As I said, I largely worked the Anglesault feud by myself and had no clue what it was like to work with somebody else. I mean, if I accepted the offer we'd have to keep in contact so we can plan things accordingly and pitch ideas, and I wasn't too sure I wanted to do that. After a couple of hours, or maybe a day, I'm not sure which, I finally made my decision -- yes. And it's been the greatest decision I've made in my OAOAST career. But it wasn't easy. It was very challenging at first. Here were are, tag team champions without teams to face. Those used in the tournament were no longer factors in the tag division. If my memory is correct, only the Global Party XChange remain serious competitors. So it was quickly decided to create new teams, the first being Hell's Hitmen. Truth be told, the original idea for The Sadist was for him to be our bodyguard, but remembering the lack of tag teams, we made him the partner of the Devilman himself, JINGUS. Once we got rolling with Hell's Hitmen, teams like the New New Midnight Express, Love Doctors and Saints soon followed. Patty O'Green has since gotten involved and has done a tremendous job giving The Saints and Sk8ter Boiz extreme makeovers, not to mention his great work with Chicks Over Dicks. We even got "The Franchise" Zack Malibu involved. It's truly been an honor and pleasure to work with a great talent such as Mystery Eskimo, Patty O'Green and Zack Malibu. What the tag team division has become since Eskimo and I took over is nothing short but amazing. I've seen a number of people say the OAOAST's tag team roster is vastly superior than the real life WWE's, and it's true. The same can be said for our singles division. Our real life counterparts have title changes on a regular basis, yet the OAOAST Championship has only been held by a few number of people, making it the cornerstone of the OAOAST. Many of the top names in the wrestling business love to put down Internet fans as wannabe's or "12-year-olds" on their parents' computer. Well, with all due respect, these wannabe's bust their asses to put on the best product on the 'net. Sometimes it seems like WE have more passion for this business than those who actually run the promotions themselves. Yeah, that may sound too preachy and corny, but that's just one man's opinion. In closing, I'd like to thank everybody who voted for Black T as Tag Team of the Year, most importantly Mystery Eskimo for all the hard work he's done. It is with great honor and pride that I accept this award. Thank you. And congratulations to all the other winners. Thank you. Black T are led off of stage, and NKOTB walk off stage. ANNOUNCER (over the PA) Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a legend in this business....RIC FLAIR!! Ric Flair's theme (which for the life of me I cannot remember the name) is played by the low-rent band hired for the event, as the sixteen-time World Champion strides onto the stage. Flair does the Flair Strut to the podium. FLAIR WOOOOOOOOOOOO! AUDIENCE "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" FLAIR Good times, good times. Ladies and gentlemen, the Nature Boy is here to present the award for STABLE OF THE YEAR! WOOOO! The nominees are: Footage rolls for each stable as they are read off. FLAIR The Underground....the Thrillogy...the Lightning WOOOO Crew....the Firm....and the Machine. WOOOOOOO! And the Angle Award goes to.... Flair opens the envelope and reads it. FLAIR WOOOOOOOOO! The audience awaits the winning group... FLAIR WOOOOOOOOO! FOLEY GET ON WITH IT!! FLAIR SHAKE MY HAND, FOLEY!! FOLEY READ THE AWARD!! FLAIR WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FOLEY HAVE A NICE DAY!! Mick Foley storms the ring, and the two men begin brawling right then and there. The audience has no idea what to think, as Michael Cole sneaks past the fighting icons and onto the stage. COLE The winner of the Angle Award for Best Stable...THE THRILLOGY!! It's another awkward moment, as all three Thrillogy members stand up. No one moves...until suddenly, Hoff simply storms up to the stage and stands at the podium. Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein look on, unsure. HOFF Cal....come on up here. Calvin, with a thin smile, heads to the stage, slapping hands with his old partner-in-crime. Zack rolls his eyes, and Hoff looks at him with a smile. HOFF Zack... Zack sighs, and takes a step toward the stage. HOFF You stay right there. The audience laughs as Zack stops in his tracks, eyes going wide. Zack begins cursing at Hoff, but Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, his NEW stablemates, calm him down and pull him back ot his seat. Hoff seems unfazed, smiling as he steps back, allowing Calvin to take the mic. Zack then tries to STORM THE STAGE, but is soon taken off by Security and escorted out of the building, shouting 'I MADE YOU!' to Hoff! CALVIN You know, for better or for worse, the Thrillogy was one hell of a group. The audience agrees, and Hoff nods. CALVIN We had a great run, and even if you hated us, you LOVED to hate us. And we wouldn't have had it any other way. Calvin laughs and steps back, and Hoff takes center stage. HOFF Now, all things considered, I think time will look fondly on the Thrillogy. But unlike SOME, Calvin and I have moved on to INDIVIDUAL careers. *coughZackcough* Ahem. The crowd laughs. HOFF So, Cal...good luck on Sunday. Hoff and Cal shake hands. CALVIN You too...champ. The two men smile and part ways, neither taking the award with them COLE Well, folks. Now we’ve run into what is probably going to be the most awkward part of the night….Writer of the Year! Now, we know that we don’t really break so-called “kayfabe” very much, so this might be a shock for you. The camera peels over to catch a glimpse of Tha Puerto Rican and Panther happily conversating with one another. They see the camera focused on them and their eyes widen, before they suddenly split and run for different directions. COLE Right. Well, either way, we’re going to get a chance to honor the figurative man-behind-the-wrestler. If that made any sense…..which it probably didn’t. Here to present the award is someone I’ve been told to call Mean Guy Adam. I don’t understand it either. Adam -- the Australian one, not the one from Massachusetts -- steps out through the curtains to a silent “WTF?” reaction. He smiles and waves excitedly to the crowd, obviously happy to be standing in a place that makes absolutely zero sense for him to actually be seeing. Of course, the crowd doesn’t share that same happiness. Specifically, Brock Ausstin who throws a tomato at Adam from his seat. The tomato hits Adam’s leg and splatters all over his brown khakis. He simply grins it off and moves to the podium. ADAM Aye, thanks for that reception, you all. And Cole, you bloody pansy, don’t call me Mean Guy Adam. I hate when people do that! Now, I’m here to present a very special award this year: Writer of the Year. Now, I know all of you superstars sitting out there are very skilled -- and you all put your bodies on the line every night. But we’re actually going to honor the people responsible for bringing you to this very federation. So without further adu…. Suddenly, Adam’s speech is interrupted by a man running up to the stage with a Bacardi Raspberry in his hand. Could it be…? YES! It’s Hoff! Well, not Hoff the wrestler! But Hoff the actual person! COLE My god! What a turn of events! ADAM Hoff, what are you doing here? HOFF I JUTS WANTD TOO MAKE SURE U DIDNTT FORGET TO MENTTIN ME!! ADAM No, I could never do that. Were you drinking tonight, by the way? HOFF JUTS ONE BARCARDI!! IM HARDCOORE S0N!!11 ADAM Right. Well, like I was saying, this award is meant to honor twelve months of writing excellence -- and of course the same in-jokes we always love to use. OMG WTF LOL2005 TILDEBANG HA HA!! HOFF HEY ADM…..REMMBER THAT TIME WE TRIKED YU?! From somewhere at his table, Rob -- not Bobby, just Rob -- suddenly rises out of his seat and laughs quite loudly, clearly still remembering such a memory. ROB OH MAN….THT WAS AWSOME!! IT’S A SHME IMMD RUNK TOO!!~!!~ HOFF HAHAHAA! EYEAH!! LETS DOO IT AGAIN!! ADAM Hmm. Well, with that being said, let’s get to the nominees. Pheonix Fury Legdrop. Willing to drop out of a federation, despite being scheduled for the Main Event of an AngleMania PPV. Not very good at writing an emotional match, but boy, he knows a lot of moves. Controls Sly Sommers, the Tethers, and Alex Bryant. NYU. Made his debut to the OAOAST back in April. Managed to succeed in the federation, despite having to work with Damaramu at the beginning. Particularly good at writing gimmick matches, and including an emotional aspect to his matches. Not to mention the promos for his main character - Drek Stone. Hoff. One of the funniest guys you’d ever hope to meet when stepping into the OAOAST folder. Writes incredibly fun matches, and the humor in some of his segments can’t be beat. There’s a reason he’s one of the top guys in the federation today. Responsible for controlling both Hoff and Chris Stevens. Papacita. Responsible for writing one of the most storied feuds of the year between Panther and Chris Bryte. His matches are always logical, sometimes very heartfelt, and his promos are continually among the most intense in the federation. Controls Panther, Chris Bryte, Tina, Uncle Kev, and the Hand. King Cucaracha. Has truly reached creative gold with his use of Leon Rodez. Always manages to write an exciting, fast-paced match….and his segments are sometimes among the most creative in the business. Everything -- the action, the humor, the storylines -- always seem to blend together perfectly when KC writes. Controls Leon Rodez. ADAM And there we go. Now, folks, your Writer of the Year…… NYU! HOFF OMG!! WTF?! Rob -- again, not Bobby, but Rob -- gets out of his seat in a drunken stupor and stumbles up the steps to the stage. However, once he gets there….his inebriated behavior actually just disappears. Yep, just like that. Shocking. He moves up to the podium and picks up the award with a proud smile on his face. ROB Wow….honestly, I just want to personally thank everyone that voted for me to win Writer of the Year. You all have no idea just how shocked I was when Adam told me I was going to be winning this award. I mean, I was just genuinely happy that people actually thought I was good enough to be given such a title. Perhaps I’m my own harshest critic, but sometimes I feel my stuff doesn’t even compare to the writing that people like Zack, Hoff, or some others put out every week. So for people to actually boost my self esteem when it comes to my own writing, it really does mean a lot. From the day I joined the OAOAST back in April 2004, there has been a wide group of people willing to help me along the way. They really have no idea how grateful I am for that. From Hoff, basically my Partner-In-Crime in the OAOAST Folder and an awesome guy to just simply talk to, to Nice Guy Adam, who’s great for bouncing storylines off of and getting some good ideas. People like Calvin and Panther, who have been willing to selflessly put me over so I could give Drek some more credibility. I have to mention Cappa, who allowed me to take control of his character for three months and, in the process, build up a feud I thought was among the best of 2004. The same applies to CanadianChick, who showed she really did trust me when it came to controlling her character back in November and December. There’s also the people that are simply fun to talk to on AIM: Ken, Rando, and Failed Mascot among three of those names. Frigid, specifically, has earned my respect for ending my hour-long search by finding the lyrics to “Hick-A-Doo-La” in a matter of seconds. He’s been showing such enthusiasm for his writing projects so far, and I really do think he could become one of the next big things around here. Then there are the mods like Tony and Eskimo -- who are great at giving constructive feedback -- to Patty, who’s an endless goldmine for insane, crazy ideas. Now, although I’m not on friendly terms with him, I’m going to thank PFL for giving me a chance to run with the title. A chance I hope I’ve taken full advantage of. Even Damaramu has taught me a lot by showing just how important it could be to deal with someone difficult, having to compromise endlessly until both sides are pleased. Then reading the work of people like Zack and KC has helped me incredibly when it comes to improving my own stuff. Everyone here has had an effect on my writing and on my character, good or bad, so I really do thank them for whatever impact they have had. I’ve jumped around and had the experience of dealing with a bunch of different federations before. I mean, I can think of at least three other feds off the top of my head. But this has been, by far, the most fun one I’ve ever been involved with. Unlike the others I‘ve written for, the people here don’t have egos. Almost no one -- of course, with the obvious exceptions -- has a complex when it comes to their character. Everyone is here to just have fun, and help out the other guy if it is so needed. The creative freedom allowed for storylines and wrestlers too is simply great. And, in my opinion, the idea of everyone working together to put on the absolute best show, rather than competing with one another, is what gives the OAOAST its true character. Once again, I genuinely thank everyone who voted for me for Writer of the Year. Even if I’m not sure I actually deserve it, it’s great to know that there are people out there who think I do. Congratulations everyone on an amazing 2004 in the OAOAST, and here’s hoping 2005 goes just as smoothly. Thanks again. CABOOSE …..ugh. Too sweet. I think I’m going to throw up. COLE It was a nice speech, nonetheless. Caboose, I don’t even know why you’re here anymore. You presented your award already. CABOOSE I don’t know. To give my thoughts on NYU, I guess. COLE This whole situation just keeps getting odder and odder. Let’s move on. Now, a look back on the year of one Zack Malibu, the Franchise of the OAOAST. We open the montage with a shot of Zack in all his glory, winning the OAOAST Championship at AngleMania 3. “Getting Away With Murder” begins in the background, and over shots of Zack’s victories over such superstars as Sly Sommers, Crystal, Axel and GPX for the Tag Team Titles, his fellow wrestlers speak about the man. HOFF He taught me a lot about wrestling and about life in general. He’s a leader. CALVIN He really is the Franchise of this federation. If Zack wasn’t here, the place wouldn’t run. AXEL He can elevate a guy from the midcard to the Main Event with one programme. Unselfish and brilliant. CRYSTAL Unselfish, and very good at picking out the next stars. DREK The one guy I’d love working with. Should win tonight. *COMMERICAL BREAK* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 COLE Welcome back to the Two Thousand Five Angle Awards, looking back on the achievements of the OAOAST Superstars from the previous twelve months. Over the past year, there have been many people that have displayed incredible homosexual tendencies, thus causing everyone to assume that they are gay. Here to present the ‘Most Homosexual Tendencies’ Award, Ellen DeGeneres! ELLEN Well, thanks Michael, its great to be here for this night of nights. Having homosexual tendencies is nothing to be ashamed of, unless you live in the south. *mild laughter* ELLEN The nominees are… Stephen Joseph, creator of INTEN5E, and the man that pretty much fucked up the end of the Living Anglously Pay Per View. Tha’ Puerto Rican, a man whose life work is to replace the word ‘if’ with ‘when’ in the statement ‘when I win the OAOAST World Title…’ Northstar, the former General Manager of HeldDown, and a guy who acts gayer than Dustin Rhodes in Stamford. And Rick Shirley, the short lived but well remembered character with a lust for life, and other men. ELLEN And the Angle Award goes to… Rick Shirley! Shirley rushes up to the podium, obviously ecstatic at the award. SHIRLEY Thank you, thank yo- hey! Stephen Popick son shoves Rick Shirley out of the way, clutching a beautifully painted picture of FrigidSoul in his arms! POPICK Pssh, I should have never been nominated for this award anyway! You're all childish! Un-fucking called for! Popick square dances off stage, and Rick Shirley soon continues his speech. SHIRLEY Come on now, folks. Even I don't think I'm any more fruitier than that guy. Night, y'all. MWA! *applause* COLE Thanks to Ms. DeGeneres. Next we have two of the more interesting awards tonight, so here to present the Angle Awards for Best Feud and Best Entrance, please welcome two former OAOAST X Division Champions, AJ Flaire and K Money. AJ Hey Ken, you were involved in one of the most brutal feuds in OAOAST History, with your brother Austin, also known as Ragdoll. How did you capture that magic with him? K MONEY Well AJ, bottom line was at that time we were genuinely pissed off at each other, he was an addict; I was trying to maintain a career in the upper echelon of this business, so there was personal animosity there. I think it helps if a feud is personal, that makes it all the more entertaining to the fans. AJ I can name a lot of feuds that have surfaced in the last year that could be worthy of this award, but instead, I’ll let the voiceover guy take it away, and tell us the nominees for Best Feud of 2004. Zack Malibu versus Crystal. These two former friends became bitter rivals in spring of last year, all over the greatest title in our industy, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This feud spawned many Pay Per View Main Events, including their classic battle at AngleSlam when Crystal finally realised a dream in capturing the OAOAST Championship. Sly Sommers versus Calvin Szechstein. Calvin saw potential in Sly and recruited him for Totally Endorsed, before turning on the boy to join Zack Malibu and his Thrillogy. Sly and Calvin had titanic battles from May of 2004 to July of 2004. Axel versus Ragdoll. Axel is, in Josie’s words, ‘like a brother’. He is a surrogate member of the Baker family. When he brought Ragdoll back from his addiction to the sport he loved, it looked like Ragdoll was happy for Axel, but soon one of the most bitter and personal feuds in OAOAST History began, culminating in the Careers Las Vegas Deathmatch at Bloody, Battered and Beaten. Drek Stone versus The Mad Cappa. The Rookie Monster in the first big feud of his career against one of the most beloved OAOAST Superstars of his time, The Mad Cappa. All about the OAOAST Puerto Rican title, which Drek renamed the Italian title. A brutal, match-of-the-year-candidate Hell in a Cell match finished this feud. Panther versus Chris Bryte. This feud lasted for nearly a year, and it never stopped being intense. The advantage switched so many times, but finally, after months of buildup, Panther emphatically ended it. Blurricane vs. Father. Father put Blurricane in the hospital and then manipulated the naive Rick Edwards into thinking that the entire OAOAST roster had turned on him. When he was found out, Blurricane was back, and he was out for revenge. *mild applause for the nominees* AJ Ken, would you do the honors… K MONEY And the winner of Best Feud for 2004 is… Zack Malibu and Crystal! AJ Wait a minute… Zack Malibu isn’t actually here to accept this award, and we have been informed that Crystal has had two, count-em, TWO glasses of wine, and is currently vomiting backstage. We’ll accept this award on their behalf, and say that it was a great feud while it lasted, and I was honored to be a small part of it, even if it meant getting my back broken. K MONEY We move onto Best Entrance. Now I think you'll agree with me here AJ when I say that an entrance can get any match off to a fine start. If an entrance can draw the crowd in and get them pumped up, then the match will be all the better. We have some good nominees for this category, and this year they are: Axel, who uses the same tactics as legends such as The Undertaker, intimidating his opponents from the moment 'Down With The Sickness' begins to blare. Drek Stone, who uses the well known Sopranos theme to amplify his Italian heritiage and make the fans boo from go to woe. Damaramu, who's entrance no one can really remember, unless it was against RYAN SMITH! OMG RYAN SMITH IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN BEAT HIM! LEAVE FEEDBACK! The Global Party Exchange, who get the crowd right into all of their matches with their happy, rocky entrance. Chicks dig them. AJ Star-studded lineup right there. OK, the Angle Award goes to... well, I'm happy with this: Axel! Shocked at the gong, Axel jumps out of his seat and plants a wet one on Crystal on the way through. He shakes hands with Hoff on the way through, and runs up to the stage, obviously pretty happy with the award. AJ and K Money congradulate him, and leave him to his speech. AXEL Well, wow, this is bloody alright, ay? Unexpected, but great guys, thanks to all those who voted. Its a great feeling to know that when you put some significant effort into your entrance, that it is appreciated. I try my hardest to make my entrance the most dramatic and entertaining that it possibly can be, and keep the fans guessing as to what is going to happen. I also want to thank all the people in the company who have given me the freedom to be creative, and all those people here tonight that have been with me throughout my career. Crys, Zack, Hoff, Drek, Ragd, AJ, Ken, all of you, thanks. *applause* COLE Thanks to AJ and K Money, two former great X Champions. Our third nominee for Superstar of the Year is, unfortunately, no longer with us. Let's have a look at a tribute to Sly Sommers. *no video plays, Cole looks confused* COLE Wha-what? There's no video? Zack vetoed - ah, right, ok ladies and gentlemen, there will be no Sly Sommers video, but he is one of our nominees tonight. He might not have too many huge highlights, but I'm sure he'll poll well. We'll be right back here at the 2004 Angle Awards. *Commercial Break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 COLE Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we are getting into the big awards now. Our next two awards are two ofthe most prestigious singles awards in the business. So here to present Best Face, please welcome one of the biggest babyfaces in the wrestling world today - John Cena! CENA Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. CROWD ..... CENA Is John Cena in the OAOAS-Tee, and everyon betta bow down and worship Mee, the Rock wanna-bee, pinnin JBL at Mania one two three. Yo yall, the Best Face is a tight award yall, tight like YO MAMA! OMG LOLZ2005! CHAIN GANG! THIS IS HOW WE DO IT! YO MY NAMES JOHN CENA AND I'M AWESOME! CROWD ...... CENA Uh... I'm not used to no canned heat, dis shit be wack! Nominees, mofos! Crystal, one of the most popular wrestlers in the history of the OAOAST, and a girl who has opened doors for women in wrestling like never before. Panther, the man who has been fighting off Chris Bryte all year on HeldDown and Pay Per View, and the man that everyone wanted to see win the Road to the Elimination Chamber and become the OAOAST Champion back in November. AJ Flaire, who, even with a severely broken back, still managed to make a comeback this past January when he faced off with Drek Stone for the Heavyweight Championship of the World. Gifted athlete who has captured the fans' imagination. The Mad Cappa, although he has turned on the fans now, Cappa was at one time one of those superstars who brought a crowd to its feet whemever he stepped into the arena. His major accomplishment of 2004? Beating PRL and ending that titanic feud. Sly Sommers, who was liked because, well, Zack Malibu didn't like him and Zack was a bad man. CENA And the winner be... Oh MY! DA WINNER BE CRYSTALLLLLLLLLLL! The crowd collectively goes 'yay', quite possibly because Cena is getting off of the stage. Crystal is seen getting out of her seat and almost knocking over a few drinks along the way, and then falling up the stairs on the way to accept the award. He staggers over to Cena who gives her the award, and begins her speech. CRYSTAL Like there was any doubt? Look at the competition! Whatta bunch of schmucks! Oh, I kid. But seriously, is schmuck a word? Because I use it all the time and would hate to use such improper English that excessfully. I'll go check... (Goes checks while the audience is murmuring in confusion. After a minute or two, she comes back a bit out of breath.) Alright, according to dictionary.com, it is a word, but it's slang. Whew, close call. I've been drinking a little. Apparently I'm a lightweight. (giggles) Thanks for the pretty trophy! OAOAST rules! (falls off stage) I'm okay! *applause* COLE Presenting the next award is an absolute legend in our business. Frankly, I’m shocked we actually got this superstar to appear on our awards show -- but to be honest, anything is possible when you’re writing for an internet wrestling federation. Hereto present his second award ofthe night is the one and the only….Nature Boy Ric Flair! Many of the wrestlers in the banquet room stand up and start applauding as Ric Flair slowly walks out through the curtains, strutting with every step. With wild, wide-opened eyes, Flair looks out at the group of superstars before speaking. FLAIR You know something? When Bill Watts called me and asked me to present an award here tonight, I said sure….anything to give my man Triple H an award! THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALLTIME! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Flair starts strutting around the stage once again, with the wrestlers looking on, somewhat less assured that the Nature Boy has the mental capacities to continue his speech. FLAIR Then Watts told me that you guys weren’t actually awarding Triple H for anything. So I thought about it some more, and said I’d still be happy to come out here. Until….he told me that it would be for the Best Heel of the Year! COLE ….uh oh. FLAIR Now let me tell you all something! The term “heel” is not something that should just be useed freely. These fans?! They shouldn’t USE OUR WORDS! They should be calling us Bad Guys and that’s it! THEY SHOULDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD HEEL MEANS! When they hear the word “heel”……THEY SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT THE BACKSIDE OF A SHOE! NEXT, THEY MIGHT START THINKING WRESTLING IS FIXED! Cole starts motioning for Flair to wrap his speech up, but the Nature Boy is on a roll here. FLAIR DON’T ALLOW IT! DO. NOT. ALLOW. IT! KEEP…..THE SANCTITY…..OF OUR BUSINESS…..ALIVE! WOOOOOO! THAT’S WHAT THE NAITCHA BOY THINKS! Put up the nominees! Calvin Szechstein. Former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion. Outlasted 29 other superstars back in the Royal Rumble to defend his belt, and came very close to beating Zack Malibu at AngleMania III. Perhaps the glue that held Thrillogy together. Hoff. Responsible for some of the most heinous acts of 2004. Crippled AJ Flaire by giving him a spinebuster through a steel chair. Locked Axel in a casket and threw him off the stage. Much like Calvin, he was another essential member of the Thrillogy. Drek Stone. The current OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, and one of the most arrogant superstars to ever step into a ring. Always willing to insult his opponents or the fans, Drek will resort to absolutely anything - and I mean anything - to get what he wants. Chris Bryte. As said earlier, he was certainly one of the most prominent evil masterminds of 2004. Broke Tina’s heart at the altar, made sure to torture Panther throughout the year, and wreaked absolute havoc with The Hand along with the way. Ragdoll. His sheer sadism was realized near the end of 2004 as he did his very best to torment Axel and drive him out of the federation. Spitting a fireball into the Dark One’s face might be at the top of a very long list of evil actions for Ragdoll this year. FLAIR Well, with that out of the way, let me just say… Ric opens the envelope and smiles as he looks at the results. FLAIR SINCE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A HEEL, DREK STONE IS THE BAD GUY OF THE YEAR!! WOOOOOOOO!!! The superstars in the building groan once again as Drek stands up from his seat with a wide smile on his face. He makes sure to grab his Rookie of the Year award and take it along with him as he walks up to the stage. Flair shakes his hand excitedly, then moves over to the side and watches as the Champion makes his speech. DREK Well, first off, I’m sure everyone here is thrilled I’m actually walking away with a second award! But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t understand the logic behind this. The way I see it, I’m not a heel. I’ve been the savior for this federation. Raising TV ratings single-handedly with my appearances on HeldDown. Many people have bought Pay-Per-Views simply because they heard I might be making an appearance. I’ve brought publicity to this federation through appearing on talk shows, magazine covers -- simply put, I’ve done more for the OAOAST than everyone else put together. And through it all, I’ve put my heart into every single aspect of it, providing the most entertaining result for each and every one of you. So, with all that being said…..JUST HOW IN THE HELL COULD YOU PEOPLE VOTE ME TO BE THE HEEL OF THE YEAR?! As Drek starts scolding the crowd filled with wrestlers and nerdy super-fans, Ric Flair starts to strut over the stage for absolutely no discernable reason. DREK If there’s anyone in this federation that should be labeled a face, it’s ME! I’ve conquered the most hated superstars to step into this federation -- AJ Flaire! Crystal! Panther! I’ve beaten them all solely for you….and you have the nerve to vote me as Heel of the Year! My god, I’ve braved walking through the slums of Detroit, Charlotte, Cocoa Beach….the entire state of New Jersey, for that matter. I’ve had the sheer nerve to step out and look at you slack-jawed yokels with the missing teeth and the coke-bottle glasses and the bellies hanging over their knees….and you all vote me as the Heel of the Year?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THINKING AS YOU HELD THAT PEN IN BETWEEN YOUR GRIMY FINGERS?! Suddenly, Drek pauses for a moment and starts rubbing his chin lightly with his fingers. DREK Now that I think about it, I really am a pretty damned good heel. Well, I guess you folks got it right again. But make no mistake: I don’t actually thank any one of you. I earned this award ALL by myself -- which is what a typical heel would say anyway. Congratulations, yada yada, and so forth. At least I could rest easy in the fact that….HA! I have beaten Hoff a second straight time for an award we were both nominated for! See you all again later tonight when I win Superstar of the Year! As Drek holds his two awards up to the crowd and walks down the steps to his table, Ric Flair continues to march around without any regard for rational behavior. FLAIR WOOOOOOOOO!! FIRE ME!! I DON’T EVEN WORK HERE!! FIRE ME!! I DON’T EVEN WORK HERE!! FIRE ME!! As Flair struts around the stage, he then intelligently drops a knee drop across an imaginary opponent on the floor. Unfortunately, the Nature Boy soon comes to the realization that this isn’t a bouncy mat -- it’s actually a hardwood, non-gimmicked stage. Which is why this legend is now forced to hold his knee and roll around in actual pain. FLAIR SHOULD. NOT. HAVE. DONE. THAT. WOOOOOOOOO!! As Flair attempts to massage his knee, the camera simply moves away from him to focus on the next award instead. ANNOUNCER (over the PA) Please welcome our next presenter for the "Best Finisher" award.....BARRY HORROWITZ!!! "Hava Negila" or whatever that song is plays as Barry Horrowitz steps onto the stage. Horrowitz pats himself on the back before taking the mic. BARRY Now, I've been in a lot of finishing moves in my day... *canned laughter* BARRY But these nominees are the cream of the crop. The best of the best. The-- "WHAT?" Barry is cut off by a voice from the crowd. BARRY Huh... "WHAT?" A man stands up in the back of the room...and it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Suddenly, Jivin' J.R. bum rushes the stage. J.R. THE RATTLESNAKE!! THE RATTLESNAKE!! AUSTIN, AUSTIN, AUSTIN!! MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD!! MAH GAWD!! J.R. waddles back to his seat as Austin hits the stage. Barry turns to ask him what he's doing here...and EATS A STONE COLD STUNNER!!! The audience cheers as Austin flips Horrowitz the double bird! AUSTIN WHAT? "WHAT" AUSTIN WHAT? "WHAT" AUSTIN The nominees for Best Finisher are: video footage plays AUSTIN Leon Rodez' Because the Lady Loves... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Hoff's Future Shock... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Axel's Axel Slam... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Sly Sommers' Cravateface.... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN And Ragdoll's Devil Doll. CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN I SAID THE DEVIL DOLL! CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN I SAID THE DEVIL DOLL! CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN WHAT? CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN WHAT? CROWD "WHAT?" Steve Austin smiles a big, Texas-sized grin as he opens the small envelope containing the winner's name. AUSTIN And the winner is....Hoff for his Future Shock! What? A horrible, jazz version of "Black" plays as Hoff steps up onto the stage. Hoff shakes hands with Stone Col', who offers him a Steveweiser. Hoff takes it and cracks it open, taking a sip before he turns to address the people. HOFF Wow. The audience cheers the popular big man. HOFF I gotta say, this is an honor. To be chosen for an award like this...I tell ya, there's no better award than something you can get for dropping people on their heads. The crowd laughs, as Hoff puts down his beer ad grabs the Angle Award statuette. HOFF But you know, there's one person I have to thank. Someone without whom this would never have happened. That man is.....IGOR STOYANOVICH. The SOVIET NATIONAL ANTHEM plays and in the back of the room, Igor gets up to a big cheer. Igor, the simple Russian, looks dumbfounded, looking up at a smiling Hoff. HOFF Come on, Igor, GET ON UP HERE!! Igor, in a RED tuxedo, slowly makes his way to the front of the room. He steps onto the stage, and shakes Hoff's hand, looking completely overwhelmed. HOFF Igor, my man. I don't know if you remember, since you got dropped on your skull...twice...but it was you who took the first-ever Future Shock, on July 15th, 2004. Do you remember? Igor nods....then says "no." HOFF Well, Igor, I do remember, and I just want to say thank you for being a willing victim. The crowd laughs. HOFF But seriously, after all that's gone down with us, you've stayed my friend and biggest fan, and so I just want to say thank you. CROWD Awwwwwwwwwww. Hoff throws one big arm around Igor's shoulders, and the two men smile genuine smiles. HOFF Now, I'm not gonna give you the Future Shock tonight, buddy. But I've got one in store for tomorrow. One for a certain somebody. The camera pans to the OAOAST World Champion, who is frowning. HOFF Drek Stone...tomorrow night, you've got a date with an Angle-Award winner. And when I hit you with it -- and I promise you, I will -- but when I hit you with this move, you will know why they call me the Future. See you tomorrow night, Drek. Keep my belt warm. Hoff exits the stage, with Igor in tow. Drek simply rolls his eyes, waving his arm in dismissal. COLE Now, lets take a look back on the year that was for one of the fastest rising Superstars in the OAOAST, Hoff. The first shot we see is that of The Thrillogy, standing side by side, with Hoff wearing the 24/7 belt. His theme music, "Black", begins to play to the montage, and we are then treated to footage of Hoff winning the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship from Crystal at World Without End. AXEL Amazing power and athleticism. A ring general. Throws a nice Spinebuster. ZACK Classic performer, draws the crowd in. CRYSTAL Always fun to work with. DREK Intense. CRAZY VAMPIRE I LOVE HIM! HE RULLLLLLLLLLLLES! *Commercial Break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 *Back from Break* COLE And now, to the two awards that recognise a great amount of effort from a great amount of talented writers. We had so many good matches this year in the OAOAST that we had to break down Match of the Year into two categories - HeldDown and Pay Per View. Here to present the HeldDown award are none other than two guys who have been involved in more Match-of-the-year-candidates than any other two wrestlers - Good Old J.R. - Jim Ross, and Stone Cold Steve Austin! Jivin' JR STONE COLD! STONE COLD! AUSTIN WHAT? Yes, JR, it's me, and we're here to present the award to the best HeldDown match of the year. Jivin' JR BAH GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! STONE COLD IN THE OAOAST! STONE COLD! STNE COLD! *Austin lays out JR with a solid right hand* AUSTIN WHAT? Dammit, lets get on with this, the nominees are... OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Drek Stone OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone versus Calvin Szechstein OAOAST 24/7 Champion Hoff versus Chris Stevens Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein AUSTIN And the winner is... WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?????? ITS A TIE! Both of HeldDown: Australia's matches have won ladies and gentlemen, Crystal versus Sly, and the Dream Tag Team Partner match! Axel, Calvin and Crystal all come up to the stage to accept their awards, as Zack, Ragdoll and Sly are not at the event. AXEL OK, I'll go first, just quickly, thanks to those involved in the match, thanks to Ragdoll who couldnt be here tonight, and thanks to Zack and Cal for helping us put on a hell of a contest down in my home country. Thanks. CRYSTAL I'd love to take all the credit for this, but I can't. Either way, HeldDown is a worse place without one Sly Sommers. I miss ya pal! *applause* COLE Please welcome our next presenters, Shawn Michaels and "Mr. PPV," Rob Van Dam!! The audience cheers as Michaels and Van Dam hit the stage. The two men shake hands, and Van Dam makes an inaudible joke that sends both men into laughter. Shawn dries his eye and turns to address the people, and Van Dam does likewise. MICHAELS Folks, it's the HBK and RVD comin' atcha, LIVE at the Angle Awards!! "WOOOOO!" VAN DAM Yeah, and this next award is TOTALLY killer. For the OAOAST pay-per-view Match of the Year. Now, Shawn, everyone knows that you always bring something special to your pay-per-view matches. Shawn nods, smiling. MICHAELS And everyone knows that YOU are mister P-P-V. RVD does the thumbs along with Shawn's words. VAN DAM That's right, and we know something about great pay-per-view matches. So do tonight's nominees. But there's like...um...ten, or twelve, o....shit, I lost count....wait, what's going on? MICHAELS Rob, are you....are you high?! RVD looks blankly at Shawn. MICHAELS ....Well. The winner of the OAOAST Pay-Per-View Match of the Year.... Michaels opens the envelope. MICHAELS WARGAMES!!!!! The crowd applauds....as several people stand up. In oe part of the room is Crystal, who looks tenatively at the others standing. Not too far from her is Hoff, her former rival turned friend. In another part of the room stands Calvin Szechstein, and he and Hoff exchange an unsure glance. AJ Flaire is seen backstage, happy about it, but not in a hurry to come backstage. The other participants in the match -- Gibraltar, Sly Sommers and Northstar -- are only notable by their absence. MICHAELS Well, this is awkward....hey, HEY WAIT!! ROB!! Before anyone can really react, Van Dam simply grabs the award statuette off of the podium and runs off. Michaels looks at him in shock, then starts to tun after him -- but then turns back to the audience. MICHAELS Well, congratulations to the winners!! A cheesy orchestral version of "Sexy Boy" plays as HBK chases after RVD, who pulls some Funnyuns out of his jacket pocket. Meanwhile, the four Wargames participants all sit down, never taking their eyes off of one another...as we go to our next award! COLE Our final nominee for Superstar of the Year is one you know only too well. Lets have a look at the quickest rise to fame of any wrestler in this company, the OAOAST Champion, Drek Stone. CRYSTAL He's some sort of prodigy, its unbelieveable. "Woke Up This Morning" begins, as we are treated to a shot of Drek Stone's debut in the OAOAST. The montage features his battles with The Mad Cappa, his victory agaijnst Panther in the Road to the Elimination Chamber, and finally his World Title victory at Thanksgiving Star Wars. HOFF I look forward to beating him. AXEL As do I, but it won't be easy. CAPPA One of the toughest guys to wrestle in the company, just a great wrestler. *Commercial Break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 *Back from Break* COLE And now, to the two awards that recognise a great amount of effort from a great amount of talented writers. We had so many good matches this year in the OAOAST that we had to break down Match of the Year into two categories - HeldDown and Pay Per View. Here to present the HeldDown award are none other than two guys who have been involved in more Match-of-the-year-candidates than any other two wrestlers - Good Old J.R. - Jim Ross, and Stone Cold Steve Austin! Jivin' JR STONE COLD! STONE COLD! AUSTIN WHAT? Yes, JR, it's me, and we're here to present the award to the best HeldDown match of the year. Jivin' JR BAH GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! STONE COLD IN THE OAOAST! STONE COLD! STNE COLD! *Austin lays out JR with a solid right hand* AUSTIN WHAT? Dammit, lets get on with this, the nominees are... OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Drek Stone OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone versus Calvin Szechstein OAOAST 24/7 Champion Hoff versus Chris Stevens Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein AUSTIN And the winner is... WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?????? ITS A TIE! Both of HeldDown: Australia's matches have won ladies and gentlemen, Crystal versus Sly, and the Dream Tag Team Partner match! Axel, Calvin and Crystal all come up to the stage to accept their awards, as Zack, Ragdoll and Sly are not at the event. AXEL OK, I'll go first, just quickly, thanks to those involved in the match, thanks to Ragdoll who couldnt be here tonight, and thanks to Zack and Cal for helping us put on a hell of a contest down in my home country. Thanks. CRYSTAL I'd love to take all the credit for this, but I can't. Either way, HeldDown is a worse place without one Sly Sommers. I miss ya pal! *applause* COLE Please welcome our next presenters, Shawn Michaels and "Mr. PPV," Rob Van Dam!! The audience cheers as Michaels and Van Dam hit the stage. The two men shake hands, and Van Dam makes an inaudible joke that sends both men into laughter. Shawn dries his eye and turns to address the people, and Van Dam does likewise. MICHAELS Folks, it's the HBK and RVD comin' atcha, LIVE at the Angle Awards!! "WOOOOO!" VAN DAM Yeah, and this next award is TOTALLY killer. For the OAOAST pay-per-view Match of the Year. Now, Shawn, everyone knows that you always bring something special to your pay-per-view matches. Shawn nods, smiling. MICHAELS And everyone knows that YOU are mister P-P-V. RVD does the thumbs along with Shawn's words. VAN DAM That's right, and we know something about great pay-per-view matches. So do tonight's nominees. But there's like...um...ten, or twelve, o....shit, I lost count....wait, what's going on? MICHAELS Rob, are you....are you high?! RVD looks blankly at Shawn. MICHAELS ....Well. The winner of the OAOAST Pay-Per-View Match of the Year.... Michaels opens the envelope. MICHAELS WARGAMES!!!!! The crowd applauds....as several people stand up. In oe part of the room is Crystal, who looks tenatively at the others standing. Not too far from her is Hoff, her former rival turned friend. In another part of the room stands Calvin Szechstein, and he and Hoff exchange an unsure glance. AJ Flaire is seen backstage, happy about it, but not in a hurry to come backstage. The other participants in the match -- Gibraltar, Sly Sommers and Northstar -- are only notable by their absence. MICHAELS Well, this is awkward....hey, HEY WAIT!! ROB!! Before anyone can really react, Van Dam simply grabs the award statuette off of the podium and runs off. Michaels looks at him in shock, then starts to tun after him -- but then turns back to the audience. MICHAELS Well, congratulations to the winners!! A cheesy orchestral version of "Sexy Boy" plays as HBK chases after RVD, who pulls some Funnyuns out of his jacket pocket. Meanwhile, the four Wargames participants all sit down, never taking their eyes off of one another...as we go to our next award! COLE Our final nominee for Superstar of the Year is one you know only too well. Lets have a look at the quickest rise to fame of any wrestler in this company, the OAOAST Champion, Drek Stone. CRYSTAL He's some sort of prodigy, its unbelieveable. "Woke Up This Morning" begins, as we are treated to a shot of Drek Stone's debut in the OAOAST. The montage features his battles with The Mad Cappa, his victory agaijnst Panther in the Road to the Elimination Chamber, and finally his World Title victory at Thanksgiving Star Wars. HOFF I look forward to beating him. AXEL As do I, but it won't be easy. CAPPA One of the toughest guys to wrestle in the company, just a great wrestler. *Commercial Break* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 COLE OK, it has come to this Ladies and Gentlemen. I have been given the honor of co-presenting the Superstar of the Year award, but here with me to read the name is none other than the 2005 Royal Rumble winner and smark darling, BATISTA! Batista's theme song plays and the Metrosexual Monster appears walking to Michael Cole at the lecturn. He shakes hands with Cole and poses, enticing a small pop from the smark wrestler who are so fond of DAVE~! COLE Dave, thanks for being here. BATISTA Quite alright Michael. COLE Have you got any picks for this award? BATISTA Well I'd like to see Hoff win it, he throws a mean spinebuster. Axel's is better though. COLE Fair enough, I agree. The nominees for Superstar of the Year are... CRYSTAL. ZACK MALIBU. SLY SOMMERS. HOFF. DREK STONE. COLE Incredible field there. Ok Dave, do the honors... BATISTA Alright. And the winner of Superstar of the Year award is... ZACK MALIBU! DREK WHAT? Drek Stone has stormed up to the podium in protest, as Zack cannot accept the award for being thrown out earlier. Drek snatches the award off of Batista, who snarls at the OAOAST Champion. DREK I AM THE GREATEST WRESTLER EVER TO BE IN THIS COMPANY! YOU ASSHOLES HAVE NO IODEA WHAT YOU JUST DID! ZACK MALIBU IS A HACK! A PHONY! I HATE HIM! I'M THE CHAMPION DAMN YOU! I'M THE SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR! HOFF Wait just a second! Suddenly, Hoff has stodd up, microphone in hand, and is addressing the irate Champion! HOFF You don't deserve shit Drek! I'm going to prove that tomorrow night you selfish son of a bitch! But first, Dave, show these people how to throw one! Drek turns around, award in hand, where DAVE HAS HIS SHIRT OFF AND IS POSING LIKE AN ANIMAL OMG GAY MOMENT.... SPINEBUSTER BY BATISTA TO DREK! HOFF See you tomorrow night, Champ. COLE Well what a way to end the 2004 Angle Awards! Goodnight everybody! END SHOW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted February 28, 2005 Here's a quick summary for those who can't be stuffed reading the entire awards show, which, with the exception of Tony's and CC's speeches, was written entirely by myself, Hoff and NYU. Best Gimmick: Zack Malibu Rookie of the Year: Drek Stone Best Tag Team: Black T Best Stable: The Thrillogy Best Writer: NYU HomoSexual Tendancies: Rick Shirley Best Feud: Zack Malibu vs. Crystal Best Entrance: Axel Best Face: Crystal Best Heel: Drek Stone Best Finisher: Hoff's Future Shock HeldDown Match of the Year: TIE (OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers; Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein) Pay Per View Match of the Year: War Games (Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, Hoff and Gibraltar versus Crystal, Sly Sommers, AJ Flaire and Northstar) Superstar of the Year: Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
