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Chuck Woolery

SWF Storm Card, 3-11-05!

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...

SWF STORM, MARCH 11TH, 2005, LIVE FROM THE PLAYGROUND BEHIND MILLS LANE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN DOWNTOWN PHOENIX, ARIZONA!

(8:00 PM EST, 5:00 PM PST; check local listings)

 

Live from the playground behind Mills Lane Elementary School in Downtown Phoenix, Arizona, the SWF is presenting to you a very special show! After the events at From the Fire, you know that several people have blood in their mouth, and this show is their chance to spit that bloody loogie all over the rest of the fed! So without further ado, the card!

 

Send all of your shit to chirs3 *NOTE: THIS MAY BE CHANGED*

 

Opening Promo: Called.

 

HOUSE RULES MATCH

SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP

CALVINBALL II

"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. Insane Luchador v. Alan Clark v. "The Critic" Scott Pretzler (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) v. Austin Sly (SWF USJL Champion) v. Toxxic (SWF World Heavyweight Champion)

-> One day, Thoth wanted to think of a stipulation to end all stipulations. Then Tom Flesher said something about Calvinball AND THIS MATCH WAS BORN. For those of you unfamilair with Calvinball, the rules are anything you want. Anyone can change the rules at any time, and these rules could potentially include how to win the match. That’s right, you decide how the match is won. If you are familiar with Calvinball, you know the idea here. If you aren't, here is a website that Chris Raynor found to spell it out for you. And here is the original Calvinball match, written by Jimmy "The Demon" Liston.

Rules: ANYTHING YOU WANT. Matches will be graded on creativity as well as all the other factors.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: Chuck Woolery

 

OPENING MATCH (SIGNIFICANTLY LESS COOL)

Mohammed Koran v. Danny Dagda

-> Koran apparently hates our country. Danny Dagda sucks balls. This should be fun.

Rules: No rules.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: Ace309

 

Also Scheduled To Appear: Wildchild, fresh off a successful retention of the Tag Team belts, may have something to say about his partner Johnny Dangerous arriving a wee bit late at From the Fire! Also, Jay Hawke left From the Fire just like he entered: Goldless. Will he have something to say about his situation? All this and more, on Storm!

Edited by Chuck Woolery

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WTF? I have no desire to be booked in a match like this. By time everyone gets out I'll have used up half of that 6k. I thought the shows after PPV's were reserved as promo shows, no?

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WTF? I have no desire to be booked in a match like this. By time everyone gets out I'll have used up half of that 6k. I thought the shows after PPV's were reserved as promo shows, no?

No, it's just a relatively recent phenomenon that, as I recall, Zed started.

 

But if you're going to gripe, I'll take you out.

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How can Koran write against Dagda when the stats don't even exist now IL is... well, IL again? Never mind.

 

This is a truly awesome card. Calvinball is JUST what i needed after my PPV match. Phoenix, Arizona really ISN'T, but you'll see why when the show goes up.

 

EDITED TO ADD: If any member of CC has a problem with me writing this match to win, and therefore becoming HGC Champion, please speak now or forever hold your time fracture wickets.

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Even if we didn't want you to, it's Calvinball. You can change the rules.

 

Koran has been fully briefed on the stats and character of Dagda.

 

At least, to the extent that it's safe to do so. We don't want to give those people too much information. ::shifty eyes::

 

 

 

... what? I was just playing to his gimmick.

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FYI, before Mike sees it (and thus, before he can tell me to apologize)... I have, in retrospect, ridiculously exceeded my authority by yanking Johnny from the Calvinball match. As punishment I will force myself to actually do the reading for all my classes this week, which is not in fact Spring Break.

 

Mike deserves an apology for my rash act, and I am extremely sorry for doing that. I should have left Mike to deal with it on his own, considering that he not only booked it (which makes it bad enough) but is marking it.

 

Mea culpa.

 

EDIT: I mean ridiculously.

Edited by Ace309

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I have a feeling there will definitely be a Jay Hawke promo coming out of all this on Saturday.

 

Yes, I really think so.

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Excellent, and just in time for us to put FTF up. Two things though - one, 'writing' is spelled... well, like that, not with two 't's. And second, why not put in how long we've been going? Make us look all established and shit :)

 

Nice one Johnny!

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Is that our new banner? And, have they rated this PPV?

 

Yes, but the old animated banner is around, for those that want to use it. And as far as I know, no one even posted it to be rated yet, and we won't even know the ratings for a week or so.

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Okay, somebody asked me so I figure I'll post my response here.

 

If you want to add stipulations to this match, that's fine. For example, the particular person I spoke to asked if he could put a one-on-one shot at Toxxic and the belt on the line during his match, and I told him that was fine. If you want to put someone's title on the line in the match, that's fine as well, but I warn you to use extreme caution and discretion in doing that, because if it comes down to two matches, and one has Austin Sly winning the World title and the other doesn't... no offence, Sly, but I would pick the latter match. Remember: this match is intended to be a fun match for the Hardcore championship, not a knock-down-drag-out Last Man Standing motherfucking war for the World, Hardcore, and USJL championships.

 

Word.

 

- Mike.

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Tom, I have a link to the forums on the website already. It's under the "Interact" section. I can move it to be more noticable if you'd like. I can label it "FORUMS" if you like.

 

Toxxic, consider it fix. I also just put something up there just to get us on there. if anyone wants to write something better feel free; I'll change it.

 

Wildchild, I don't know what our actual banner is I just made that one to try to look better than the other efeds banners. I don't know if it looks good or not, I just made it. As far as banners being hosted, I have a website that can host pretty much anything if you guys want.

 

Dace, if you'd like to help with anything, hit me up and I'll give you FTP access.

 

As far as ratings go this isn't ratings this is a topsite thing with X-Net Wrestling. They want me to basically have a roster up on the site first to start rating us. I've emailed them saying that our roster is on the boards for right now but I have yet to hear back from them. So I guess as soon as I get my SWF CAW systems up and running we can start getting rated. I'm working on them now and it's my first priority.

 

A

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...

 

We're about to have us a rumble Mr. WC.

 

Plus I was waiting on peeps to add wrestlers in so i could put the title with the right person. After that I can finish updating the total title histories, linking those with active wrestlers as well as make the title days automated. meaning everyday at 12 a.m. it will automatically add another day to a title reign.

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Calvinball was not the greatest stipulation I ever thought of.

 

The answer would be the Big League Chew Battle Royale.

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Calvinball was not the greatest stipulation I ever thought of.

 

The answer would be the Big League Chew Battle Royale.

Well, it was certainly better than the Stilts Match.

 

And the Pie Match.

 

 

Who the hell thought THOSE were a good idea? :huh:

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What about the Mouse Trap Match?

 

Here's a Thoth stipulation I saved you all from: The Paper Fetus Match. No, you don't want to know.

 

-Z

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If you want to add stipulations to this match, that's fine. For example, the particular person I spoke to asked if he could put a one-on-one shot at Toxxic and the belt on the line during his match, and I told him that was fine.

OK. Suddenly this match isn't as fun as I thought. I was just going to have a laugh, and now I have to make sure my match is damn good in case someone wants to take the title from me.

 

Ah well, such is life.

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Don't take it too seriously. Judging by the discussion Mike and I had, no match is going to be good enough to pull anything serious... and, like IL trying to write the most brutal Hell in an Igloo match ever, to take it too seriously is to miss the point of the match.

 

A Calvinball match full of stonefaced psychology and mat wrestling? DUD.

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