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chirs3

SWF Lockdown Card 3-16-05

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Man... how do you follow a match like Calvinball II? :(

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...

 

SWF LOCKDOWN, March 16, 2005, LIVE FROM THE COW PALACE IN SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIAAAA!

(8:00 PM EST; 5:00 PM PST. Check local listings.)

 

Yes, you read that correctly. The Cow Palace. I'm not entirely convinced such a place even exists, but as long as it's on our list of arenas, it's fair game. Bonus points will be awarded to all matches that make bad cow-related jokes and puns. Make these markers suffer. :P

 

Send everything (booking requests, promos, leftover meatloaf sandwiches, etc.) to Ace309.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

THE MAIN EVENT

Non-Title Match

"Urban Legend" Todd Cortez vs. "The Critic" Scott Pretzler ©

 

Todd Cortez and Scott Pretzler just competed in one of the most brutal, violent, downright evil matches in the history of mankind...

 

So it only makes sense that we not give them any time to rest before shoving them right back in the spotlight! Tonight, the seconds-in-command of Martial Law and Revolution Zero will represent in the Main Event! (rhyme intended)

 

Cortez lost his Hardcore Title to one of the most bizarre technicalities the sport has ever seen - because Scott Pretzler reversed Insane Luchadore's decree to drink four bottles of Jack Daniels, he is responsible for IL's winning the Hardcore Title! Cortez will get his rematch, but tonight, it's all about exacting some sweet revenge.

 

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 6000

Send to: Ace309

 

----

 

Non Title Tag Team Match

Wild and Dangerous © vs. Jay Hawke and Austin Sly ©

 

Wild and Dangerous live on! Recent history has been somewhat rocky, to say the least, but they're still together, and they're still the Tag Team Champions!

 

Jay Hawke, on the other hand, has not been so lucky. His first chance at SWF gold was thwarted, both by a partner who wasn't exactly on his side and by Johnny Dangerous's dramatic return. Tonight, he gets paired with newly crowned USJL Champion Austin Sly, for another crack at the dynamic duo.

 

Rules: Tag Team rules.

Word Limit: 5500

Send to: Chuck Woolery

 

----

 

Triple Threat Match

Alan Clark vs. Sean Davis vs. Hollywood Spike Jenkins

 

Martial Law has lost a little steam in recent weeks, thanks to Revolution 0, and now members of both factions are ready to go at it with the wild card Spike Jenkins thrown in for good measure! Will Clark be able to help mend his stable's wounded pride? Will Sean Davis put Revolution 0 that much closer to total domination? Or will Spike Jenkins deny them both, and use them as stepping stones on his way to something bigger?

 

Rules: Like a singles match, plus one!

Word Limit: 5000

Send to: chirs3

 

----

 

OPENING BOUT

Arch Griffon vs. Mohammed Koran

 

Mohammed Koran won his debut match last week, which means he has won the job of "Welcoming Commitee" for our next new wrassler. Enter Arch Griffon, a mountain of a man with mad computer skillz to boot. Will Koran go 2-0, or will Archie stop his winning streak before it ever starts?

 

Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 3500

Send to: Justice

 

----

 

Opening Promo: Called! By who, you ask? That's for me to know and you to find out!

 

Well, also for Tom to know, I guess. Since he's posting the show and all.

 

And probably the guy who called it knows too.

 

And anyone he might have told.

 

And anyone with ESP.

 

----

 

First person to point out a problem with the card gets a sock full of quarters on a pole match against Cardboard Comet next week.

 

I'm looking at you, Wildchild.

 

:P :P :P

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Edited by chirs3

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Cortez lost his Hardcore Title to one of the most bizarre technicalities the sport has ever seen - because Scott Pretzler reversed Insane Luchadore's decree to drink four bottles of Jack Daniels, he is responsible for IL's winning the Hardcore Title!

 

Don't forget IL announcing that he is in an Opposite Blood Alcohol Zone by not announcing it. You do not fuck with the meister of Calvin and Hobbes!

 

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

 

But yeah - cool card, and I for one am digging Cortez/Pretzler.

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As Mike noted in the website thread, everyone needs to get their stats up on the website by Wednesday night. If you don't, I won't book you on Smarkdown.

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I know Pretz has solved this because he talked to me, but just for the record...

 

Register. Then go to My Menu, then Wrestler Central. Or thereabouts. And make sure you use apostophes instead of quotation marks, not because Johnny has subpar design skills (he most certainly does not) but because of the programming language or something.

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Former World Tag Team Champion 'Justice' William Hearford III, integral member of the Magnificent Seven and tag team partner of Ejiro 'Rule' Fasaki in one of the greatest heel tag teams ever, Justice and Rule.

 

His board name is Justice. Just PM it to him.

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Well I'll say congrats to Pretzler now, because thanks to me taking a spill on the ice at work and fucking up my back, I haven't had much motivation to finish my match. Fucking wonderful, no?

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Thanks buddy, luckily I'm not in pain, just some severe discomfort. I came down right on my lower back/tailbone, and while I was spared by not having a break or anything, it's bruised pretty bad and has made me quite uncomfortable. So I'm outta work at least until next week, and since it happened on school grounds it counts as worker's comp, so I'm getting sent to a physical therapist and everything to make sure all will be well with it.

 

Not to toot my own horn, but I think had quite a match going by Monday when this happened, as I was looking forward to it. Still, can't fight the forces of nature when they put you on your ass, heh.

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You heal up soon, y'hear?

 

*quickly PMs Pretzler and tells him to hit multiple atomic drops*

 

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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You heal up soon, y'hear?

 

*quickly PMs Pretzler and tells him to hit multiple atomic drops*

 

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The funny thing? I actually had a sequence in the match where I did that to him, and this was written the night before I fell.

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You heal up soon, y'hear?

 

*quickly PMs Pretzler and tells him to hit multiple atomic drops*

 

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The funny thing? I actually had a sequence in the match where I did that to him, and this was written the night before I fell.

*does Twilight Zone theme*

 

*makes mental note never to break anyone's neck in a match again*

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I'm very sorry to hear that, and I hope you feel better soon!

 

However, I am slightly relieved, in a guilty way, as this gives me the chance to wuss out a bit in the wordcount department. The school play is coming up (yes, I'm a Theatre Fag), and we've been practicing like nobody's business for the past few forevers. So I haven't had much time to work on this match. Almost none, actually.

 

I'm sure your match would have demolished the one I'm writing, and I look forward to seeing it in the Losing Matches thread.

 

Again, take it easy and heal up so I can start whipping you in a more competitive fashion. ;)

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Au contraire, I demand Zack post his incomplete match in the losing matches thread so we can all say what a promising match it was.

 

Also, I hope he puts his stats up on the site soon... :rolleyes:

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