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The Simpsons Question

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The best quotes of the series revolve around one scene:

 

The sugar scenes.

 

"Town Fathers"

"I knicked it"

"the Bee Mobile"

"strong protect the sweet"

"power, sugar, women"

"they're defending themselves somehow!"

etcetera

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Yeah the Mr Burns one is:

Jackie Bouvier: "I swear, Monty: you are the devil himself!"

Burns: "Heh, I -- WHO TOLD YO......??"

 

My favorite Burns quote has got to be:

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.

Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.

Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!

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Homer: "When I joined the Police Academy I thought it would be funny like the film, you know Caddyshack."

 

Anything Hutz says is pure gold.

 

"Well then it may suprise you... I'm not wearing a tie at all!"

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Spaceballs, not Caddyshack!

 

True about Hutz, though. Skinner too... every line is gold. Like this exchange:

 

"Uh, excuse me, is there an Orange Julius stand on this floor?"

 

"I'll sell you this one, it's almost full."

 

"Well, why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl."

 

"He'll be back. And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in this state... often as a lawyer!"

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"Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.

"Is that bad?"

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'."

 

I miss Phil Hartman :(

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My favourite Hutz moment is when Bart and the bum that created Itchy and Scratchy show Hutz his "Works on Contingency - No Money Down" ad.

 

"That's a misprint, see - "Works on Contingency? No, Money Down!"

"So... you DON'T work on contingency?"

"No! Money down! Oh, and this Bar Association logo shouldn't be here either".

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Paraphrased:

 

Skinner: I know you can hear my thoughts, Bart. Sooner or later you'll slip up, and when you do...your ass is mine. That's right...I think words that I would never say"!

 

Homer: "I know you can hear MY thoughts too, boy...MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW..."

 

That had me in tears the first time I saw it.

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It goes something like, "Montey, you are the devil himself..."

Your right..I think. i can't really remembe what made burns say his line, but I think that's his best line ever.

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Favorite line of all-time:

 

Ned Flanders as a little boy:

 

"Now I'm Pruuune Tracy!! Take that Dick F---!" as he's pulled off of another kid.

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No Love for Krusty?

 

"Welcome back to Krusty Komedy Klassics"

 

"Hey Hey, it's great to be back at the historic Apollo Theatre and.....KKK? That's not good."

 

"And South American singing sensation Xhushashi, Xhushesha, Xu....oh boy"

 

"Don't blame me, blame the Percodan, that stuff rots your brain. And now a word from out new sponsor...PERCODAN! Aw Crap!"

 

 

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Doctor (forget his name, the "Hi, everybody!" guy): On my diet, you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want!

Marge: And you can really lose weight?

Doctor: Sure, if you want. It's a free country!

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My favorite Simpsons moment ever, from "The Front", where Homer finds out at his high school reunion that he never graduated, and has to retake a class.......

 

(Going from memory here)

 

Teacher: Welcome to remedial Science 1A.....my wife recently passed away and this class keeps me busy.....but I still miss her....

 

Homer: Excuse me, is this going to be on the test?

 

Teacher: (shocked) No! Of course.

 

We see Homer has written "DEAD WIFE" on his sheet of notes. He erases it.

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Some good Milhouse lines:

 

"Remember Alf? He's back! In pog form."

 

Lisa: "Who does Nelson think he's impressing, acting so cool all the time."

Milhouse: "Not me!"

 

"My glasses!"

 

Sight gag: "Milhouse, lower those eyebrows! And the other one!"

 

Moe:

 

"Rich people aren't happy. From the day they're born to the day they die, they think they're happy, but trust me... they ain't."

 

"Are you Drew Barrymore?"

"Get outta here, I'm hung over!"

"Sorry, Miss Barrymore."

"What?"

 

"I'm not used to the sound of children's laughter, it cuts through me like a dentist drill. But no, that was funny, taking away my dignity like that, ha ha ha."

 

 

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Teacher: Welcome to remedial Science 1A.....my wife recently passed away and this class keeps me busy.....but I still miss her....

 

Homer: Excuse me, is this going to be on the test?

 

Teacher: (shocked) No! Of course.

 

We see Homer has written "DEAD WIFE" on his sheet of notes. He erases it.

 

"And now, I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has."

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

"The bright blue flame indicates that this was a particularly sweet donut."

 

"This is not happening...this is not happening."

 

I think Grandpa's "I'm cold, and there are wolves after me" line is one of the best ever.

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The X-Files Episode:

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

 

 

Lisa the Vegetarian:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

 

 

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

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Laywer: Well, what about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say Die, Bart, Die?

Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for 'The Bart, The."

Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted!

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Marge: I think you should do it, Homer, you might learn something new!

Homer: Oh, Marge, whenever I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out. Remember that time I went to those duff brewery classes and I forgot how to drive?

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I think Grandpa's "I'm cold, and there are wolves after me" line is one of the best ever.

I don't think it beats Grandpa's "I'm old! Give me, give me, give me!" line.

 

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Marge: I think you should do it, Homer, you might learn something new!

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: That's because you were drunk!

Homer: And how!

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Best Abe line:

 

Quimby (from the podium on stage): "The old persons remarks will be stricken from the record."

Abe: "WHO SAID THAT?"

 

That episode also contained:

 

"I was saying Boo-urns..."

 

"No, my ears are really burning, I wanted to see inside so I lit a q-tip."

 

"So tell us... who's gay?"

"Oh, I don't know... Harvey Fierstein."

"NO!"

 

"Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!"

 

Everything Rainer Wolfcastle says in classic.

Barney's on fire in this one too.

 

What a great episode.

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Everything Rainer Wolfcastle says in classic.

 

ZE GOGGLES, ZEY DO NOTHING!

 

From same episode:

 

Cafeteria Lady: (Reading from script) Let's go Fall Out Boy

Ralph: Whats for lunch tomorrow?

Director: NEXT!

Ralph: Chicken necks?

 

I think my top five Simpsons characters for quotes alone are:

 

Lionel Hutz

Troy Mclure

Ralph Wiggum

Skinner

Dr. Nick

 

Favourite Ralph quotes:

 

"Hi principle Skinner, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers, I'm learnding."

"I head a Frankenstein lives there!"

"Go Bananna!"

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