NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 Cue: Voiceover Life. For different people, life means different things. Some people live for success. Zack Malibu flashes by. Some live for love. Leon Rodez, Ned Blanchard, The 70s Dude. Some...for hatred. Hell's Hitmen, Axel. Some live life, to improve it's quality...by riches. Black T Or by morality. Hoff. Some live for the moment. Some Guy. Some live to hide the past they left behind. Crystal. But tonight, whever they live by good... Hoff again. What a nice guy he is. ...or live by bad. CWM, turning on Zack Malibu. ...tonight...they will all be LIVING... AAAAAAAANNGGGLLLLLEEEELOUSLYYYYYY~!~!~! CUE: Foo Fighters, "The One" Everyone makes one mistake Clips of 'The Franchise' Zack Malibu, terrorising the OAOAST in previous months. One more time for old times sake Some guy's return, as well as CWM's. One more time before the feeling fades Axel holding the OAOAST World Title aloft at Anglemania, complete with post-match celebration. One that’s born of memories Black T, attacking first Zack and then Axel. One more bruise you gave to me Crystal and Hoff, duking it out~! One more test just how much can I take Crystal and Hoff, both falling at the hands of Axel. Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Clips of Black T and CWM's recent battles with Some Guy and Zack Malibu. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit Crystal slapping Axel, Hoff in pain, Crystal bleeding. Something never meant to be Ned Blanchard and Krista, face to face. Everything you meant to me The unhappy couple together with their daughter, Maya. Wake me when this punishment is done The unconscious Love Doctors, Hell's Hitmen standing over them. Those who try and get away Tha Puerto Rican, eating some Brickston fists. From the one who gets away Peter Knight's return and then Prince Killings' return Someone’s always someone else’s one The 70's Dude with his 'Dudettes', who of course got 'intimate' with Leon Rodez. Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Chokeslam by Jingus on one of the Docs. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit CoD getting beat down by the NNMX, CoD getting their revenge in film form. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Ausstin, Killings and Knight in action. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit 70's Dude going nuts after seeing Rodez's "Saturday Night Beaver" presentation. Until the end of time BLACK T In another life ZACK MALIBU! Until the day I die AXEL Save it up for one more try C W M! Save it for the last goodbye SOME GUY! We go on and get off And get on and get off CRYSTAL, HOFF, RODEZ, DUDE, PRL, NNMX, KNIGHT, KILLINGS, OMGTHERE'SSOMANYFACESFLASHINGBY~! Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Pollycutter by CWM! You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit Black T beating down Zack Malibu viciously. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this PRL holding his 24/7 Title aloft You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit SPINEBUSTAAA~! by Hoff! Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Ned Blanchard, holding his groin, courtesy of the CoD. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like... Various clips from the past few weeks... Ohhhhhhhhh shit And the last clip we see, is of Axel, holding the World Heavyweight Title and pointing to his chest. And HERRRRRRRRRRRE comes the fireworks~! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~ ! LIVE! Living Anglelously 2005! The Staples Center The camera pans around The Staples Center for a few moments as the normally sedated Los Angeles crowd is now LOUD and RAUCOUS! We get one clear shot of someone holding the sign “T-Bod can’t handle ANRGY AXEL~!” Clearly, the fans in LA have trouble spelling a word as easy as “angry.” But that’s okay. Because they’re enthusiastic and that’s all that matters! As the camera catches a glimpse of all the wild fans, the view eventually stops on none other than Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura standing near the entranceway. With Schiavone dressed in a lackluster grey suit complete with black button-down vest -- and Ventura dressed in a leather jacket, yellow feather boa, and red bandana -- it’s clear these two announcers have come to talk! SCHIAVONE WELCOME EVERYONE! Well, folks, here we go again! Three weeks have passed since AngleMania IV, and now we’re back to bring you some even more hard-hitting action. They said it couldn’t be done. They said three weeks wasn’t nearly enough time to hype a show. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you’re watching this broadcast right now, it means you have ordered Living Anglelously 2005. And, in the process, you have proved all the naysayers wrong once again! That’s right! LA coming to you LIVE from L.A.! VENTURA Well, Tony Schiavone, how could anybody skip over Living Anglelously tonight? Nine matches! Five championships on the line! And where else could one get the opportunity to see none other than the T-Bod himself, Mr. Tony Brannigan, finally get the chance to add his name to the record books and seize the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship? I’ve been excited for this night for weeks! SCHIAVONE Well Jess, you know the drill. You ready to run through the card? VENTURA You know I’m always ready. And might I say, this show has been running smoothly so far. Why the smoothest it has run in a long, long time. Tony, didn’t the OAOAST just recently acquire someone new to produce the Pay-Per-Views? SCHIAVONE Hmm. Why yes, they believe they have. VENTURA Well, he has done a bang-up job. I’ve never been treated better. SCHIAVONE Amazingly, I’m going to have to agree with you here. But moving on! Tonight, we’re going to see two established superstars battle it out for a chance at the #1 Contendership to the Heavyweight Title. They’re familiar enough with each other already, but tonight, Hoff and Crystal are going to fight it out all over again. The last two times these superstars met in the ring, Hoff actually came out on top. In fact, in their last meeting at World Without End, Hoff actually defeated Crystal to win the Heavyweight Championship! VENTURA Whenever these two have locked up in the ring, it has certainly seemed like Hoff has had the advantage. But in those other meetings, Crystal never had this mean streak before. She has become evil, sadistic, malicious -- basically, she’s become a woman I wouldn’t mind bringing home to Mom. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her this focused before, Schiavone. I really think Crystal is finally going to walk away tonight with a win over Hoff. SCHIAVONE Jess, tonight we’re also going to get the chance to see two surefire legends fight in one of the most brutal matches ever conceived -- a Last Man Standing match! This feud between Some Guy and CWM has gotten so personal. And in just a short while, the tension is going to finally boil over. Thoughts? VENTURA The way I see it, CWM felt humiliated at AngleMania IV when Some Guy, Zack, and Caboose managed to take him out with a Triple School’s Out. Well, now he has the chance for retribution. CWM got an initial taste of it two weeks ago when he squared off with Some Guy. He won the match and, in the process, took apart the leg of his enemy. Now he gets the opportunity to finish the job. And I, for one, think he’s going to do it. SCHIAVONE Well folks, not only do we have a Last Man Standing match to bring to you tonight. But for the first time in this federation’s history, we’re ready to bring you a Last Man Dancing contest as well! VENTURA Schiavone, I have no idea why they didn’t ask you to compete in this match. I hear you’re good at bumping and grinding with the kids today. SCHIAVONE Oh no. For me, it’s the Charleston or nothing. But surely, two of the best dancers in the OAOAST would be none other than Leon Rodez and The 70s Dude. And tonight, they’re going to fight over the X-Division title. But it’s not going to be in a simple ring. That would just be silly. Instead, they’ll be fighting at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go club down the street. The rules? Once you knock your opponent down and keep him down for the ten count, you then get to dance over his body. It’s that simple. VENTURA Tony, have you ever seen The 70s Dude dance? The man is incredibly light on his feet! People like Usher have been knocking on his door, begging him to show them some of his dance moves. He’s just incredible. Leon Rodez isn’t shabby on his feet either, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone jive as well as the Dude. SCHIAVONE Usher? Jive? I think I’m seeing a whole new side of you, Jess. VENTURA Being governor of a hip place like Minnesota has taught me a lot of things. Honestly, Leon Rodez has been an excellent fighting champion the past few months. He’s managed to overcome every challenger that has come his way. But the trend stops tonight. The Dude has been on a winning streak lately and, seeing what he did to Calvin Szechstein last month under hardcore rules, I could see him doing the same to Rodez. Count on a new X-Champion and the best dancer in this federation’s history to twenty-three skiddoo out of the Whiskey-A-Go-Go with a new piece of gold. SCHIAVONE At Living Anglelously, we’re also going to see Peter Knight make his return to Pay-Per-Views when he takes on Prince Killings and Brock Ausstin in a Triple Threat match! VENTURA This has been a difficult one to predict. Brock Ausstin has an extraordinary amount of strength and could toss around anyone with the greatest of ease. Peter Knight has a great sense of timing in the ring and, with his skills, I’m not surprised there were people constantly whining for him to make his return. And Prince Killings, as we saw at AngleMania IV, is especially qualified at cheating. That’s always a helpful skill to have. You know, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Killings is going to use his intelligence here and come out with the W. SCHIAVONE And in the first of two tag team title matches tonight, it’s going to be Hell’s Hitmen trying to defend the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles against The Love Doctors. But here’s the twist. Hell’s Hitmen cannot be disqualified for anything they do tonight -- but the Love Doctors can. That’s going to put them at a distinct advantage here. VENTURA Well, it’s time to face facts. Hell’s Hitmen are heroes in Japan. People line up for miles to get a chance to see two of the baddest monsters to ever step foot in the Land of the Rising Sun. Godzilla has nothing on them. The Sadist would choke slam Mothra if he had the opportunity. These two are guaranteed money. Meanwhile, we have…..the Love Doctors. Yeah, that’s real marketable. I’m sure there are a bunch of fat housewives in Japan clamoring for the opportunity to meet a wrestler that looks vaguely like George Clooney. Please. For the sake of the wrestling business in Japan, Hell’s Hitmen have to win. And they will. SCHIAVONE ….fat housewife? VENTURA Exactly. The same people in love with the Love Doctors right now, I assure you, are the same people scooping up Clay Aiken’s albums. All fat housewives and preteens. I know about this stuff, Schaivone. I was a governor. SCHIAVONE Well, in our other Tag Team Title match of the night, it will be Chicks Over Dicks trying to defend their OAOAST Tag Team Titles against the New New Midnight Express. And here again is another twist. If Alix and Krista happen to lose the tag titles to the NNMX, they will not receive one tag title shot again until Cornette’s team drops the gold. VENTURA Tony, did you catch Narcisstic Ned’s acting debut on this past HeldDown? I’m telling you, the guy should win an Oscar. Or at least a Golden Globe! SCHIAVONE Well, Alix didn’t do too bad either. VENTURA Please. Sniffing glue? Acting ditzy? That was no acting, my friend. Anyway, the New New Midnight Express have shown this month that they are simply smarter than either Alix or Krista. Don’t misunderstand me. These two women are very athletic in the ring and have been fine champions thus far. But the NNMX are in this to win it. Ned has been playing mind games with Alix for the past few weeks and, shockingly enough, it seems like it’s been working. She’s head over heels for him! Why Tony Schiavone, we were only minutes away from the world finally seeing yet another sex video. I guarantee it would have been better than that X-Pac/Chyna fiasco. SCHIAVONE Well, I mean, is that hard to do? VENTURA Of course not. Trust me, after the beating CoD gave them last Thursday, Ned and Simon are looking to even the score. If you’re a betting man, always stay on Jim Cornette’s side. SCHIAVONE And of course, we’re also be seeing Tha Puerto Rican go one-on-one with his former protégé John Brickston for the 24/7 Championship. VENTURA I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone as ungrateful as John Brickston. Let’s be fair. Tha Puerto Rican has given the man his entire career so far. By naming him the Prototype and taking him under his wing, TPR was actually somewhat of a father figure. But then Brickston bit the hand that fed him. He stole the Italian title from Stephen Popick two weeks ago, and now he’s looking to take another piece of gold away from the Lightning Crew. I wouldn’t count on it. He’s been impressive in the ring, but he’s not up to the caliber of Tha Puerto Rican. Not yet, and I don’t know if he ever will be. SCHIAVONE Then we come to our Black T portion of the night. Perhaps the most impressive tag team our sport has ever seen are splitting up for two high profile matches of the night. First off, Dan Black will be battling none other than “The Franchise” Zack Malibu. This has been a particularly volatile feud, Jesse. VENTURA Without a doubt, Schiavone. Spotlight is a dangerous thing. People are willing to fight tooth-and-nail just to catch a glimmer of it. This comes down to Dan Black wanting to seize his piece of the spotlight. He feels Zack Malibu has taken the attention away from him for far too long, so he’s taking his opportunity here. SCHIAVONE Meanwhile, of course, Zack Malibu has been incensed ever since Dan Black and T-Bod booted him out of The Original Elite and viciously attacked Candie in the process. In the past few weeks, it’s been difficult to even keep these two men away from each either. Well, this is where it ends. VENTURA Zack Malibu is a terrific athlete, no doubt about it. He’s done more in this federation than perhaps any other superstar that has ever stepped through that curtain. But Dan Black is hungry. I talked to him earlier today, and I have never seen that man so focused. He wants to finally finish Zack Malibu once and for all, so he could claim his spot as one of the top people in the OAOAST. I don’t know if Zack is prepared for everything Black is prepared to throw at him. This is why, tonight, my vote is going for Dan Black. SCHIAVONE Definitely. And finally, we come to our Main Event. Axel will be making his first Pay-Per-View Heavyweight Title defense against none other than Tony Brannigan. VENTURA I can not wait for this one. Who is your pick to pull this one out, Schiavone? I’ve been doing all the talking here. SCHIAVONE Well, I…..as much as I respect what Tony can do in the ring, I’m going to have to go with Axel here. In the past few months, I’ve perhaps never seen a man on such a hot streak as he is. From retiring Ragdoll in December to winning the Lethal Rumble in January to beating both Crystal and Drek Stone en route to the Heavyweight Title at AngleMania IV, he has just been on fire. And as good as Tony is, and with as much experience as Tony has, I don’t think he’ll be able to stop Axel. VENTURA You’re insane. Do you realize Tony Brannigan has been waiting years for this opportunity? He has pined away in that locker room, just salivating at being given the chance to wrestle for the Heavyweight Title in a Main Event slot. Well, after all that waiting, his time has finally come. He is finally going to be given a chance he has never truly received before. And let me tell you, I may know T-Bod better than anybody else. There is no way he is going to submit, and there is no way he is going to let his shoulders rest on that mat for three seconds tonight. Tony is not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. Axel had the title for a good three weeks. This is where it ends. SCHIAVONE So you’re predicting a new Heavyweight Champion tonight? VENTURA Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. SCHIAVONE Well, there you go, folks. Nine huge matches. Five titles on the line. Living Anglelously is ready to start! Let’s throw it down to the ring and Triple C for our first match. Here we go! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 (edited) COLE Thanks, Tony! COACH You know, all Schiavone would need to do is grow a goatee.....or you could shave your goatee....and you two would look exactly the same. COLE ....what? That's not true at all. COACH Well, I don't know. All white people look the same to me. CABOOSE You know, I actually agreed with most of Jesse's picks. Except for the Black T ones, but I could certainly see where he's coming from. I should meet him after the show for drinks or something.... COLE Two minutes into the show and we're already off-topic. Wonderful. Anyway, we're going to kick off this show with a HUGE matchup! A match that was made just three days ago on HeldDown! Between three guys who, quite simply, want to beat the crap out of each other. CABOOSE Oh, I just can’t decide which guy I want Brock to maim more. I’m really excited for this match, just feel these nipples!! COACH I’ll bet my nipples are more rigid in anticipation of this match than yours are Caboose. (He starts to lift his shirt) Just take a look….. COLE JONATHAN!!!! Go to Buffer, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!! *DING DING* BUFFER Wow, those are pretty hard......ahem…..Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a triple threat match, where the first man to score either a pinfall or submission will be declared the winner. CUE: Oh Hell Yeah “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The crowd pops big as Peter Knight walks through the curtain into the Staples Center, which now filled with strobing blue light. He pauses at the top of the ramp to take in the crowd’s ovation before making his way to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 260 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight! COLE This is Peter Knight’s first PPV appearance as an active wrestler since Anglemania III last year, where he lost to Sly Sommers. He definitely would like to pick up the win in his PPV return match, but he’s facing a pretty big challenge. COACH I feel ya. CABOOSE Don’t make me call Dr. Fist for a house visit again. CUE: Punishment by Biohazard “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Brock Ausstin and Rick Heyross walk out into the arena to an ovation on par with (or even a bit louder) than Knights. Brock flexes his neck and does the Happy Happy Hoss Dance~! as Rick displays him like a Barker’s Beauty displaying a new car before they both walk down the aisle. BUFFER Next, being accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross, he is from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 320 pounds. He is the Current Big Thing, Brrrrrrroooooooock Ausssssssssstiiiiiiin!!!! CABOOSE There’s my boy!!! Now that Drek is gone, I’ve gots to find a new binky and Brock is it. The fans even agree and bathe in his greatness every night. They also brush their teeth in his amplitude. They exfoliate in his magnitude, they shave in….. COLE All right, all right. God, I think whoever is writing this match needs some professional help. CUE: An Ode to Killings “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” The ovation is loud, but in the negative direction as Killings steps through the curtain, his dark sunglasses hiding a look of slight apprehension. He sizes up his competition from afar, who are both staring right back at him, before making the long(ish) walk to the ring. BUFFER And now, their opponent. Originally from Boise, Idaho, he now resides right here in Los Angeles, California!! Weighing in at 298 pounds, he is STILL the Beast of Boise, and Hollywood’s next action legend, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiince Kiiiiiiiiiillllliiiiiiiiings!!!!! COLE No photographers this time, I see. I’ll be willing to bet that Prince was banned from bringing them so he won’t pull anything like he did at Anglemania. COACH What? That camera inadvertently flew out of that photographers hands and Killings decided to take the picture that he was setting up for. CABOOSE Oh, and now you’re stealing my schtick? Sleep with one eye open and your testicles well protected tonight, Coach. Killings approaches the ring, but is reluctant to step in the ring as Brock and Knight stare at him like two lions at feeding time. Killings removes his sunglasses, trying to put up a façade of toughness as his music fades out and the two men in the ring motion for him to step in. The fans around ringside yell at him to do the same. CABOOSE The second he steps into that ring, he’s going to be hurting. Killings stalls, walking around ringside and eyeing up his competition. Brock and PK, getting a little impatient, walk to the ropes and reach over, but Prince avoids their swipes. The crowd starts up a “KILLINGS SUCKS!!” chant, getting restless at the lack of action so far. COLE Oh come on, just get in there and let’s get this going! Killings takes a deep breath and grabs the bottom rope, pulling himself onto the apron. He reluctantly steps one foot through the ropes and ducks under the top rope, only to have Brock right on him, peppering him with forearms and dragging him into the ring to officially start the match. *DING DING* COLE Here we go! Brock shoves Prince into the corner and fires off hard right hands to the face before ramming his shoulder into his gut. Knight tries to get himself a piece and lands a few kicks to the midsection, but Brock shoves him away and continues the punishment. PK tries again to get involved, but Brock shoves him away again, pointing his thumb at himself and telling PK “My business” before turning his attention back to Prince. Unfazed, PK goes back to the corner and pulls Brock aside so that he can get at Killings with some more kicks to the gut. COLE Killings is taking an enormous beating a few minutes into this one. Angered even more by Knight’s action, he grabs the back of his singlet and yanks PK away, sending him spinning to the middle of the ring. Brock lays in more right hands to Prince, but PK comes up from behind and grabs him by the hair, pulling Brock away from the corner, which allows Killings to slip under the bottom rope. Livid, Brock goes nose to nose with Knight again. Knight shoves Brock back and puts up the dukes, asking for Brock to bring it. COACH Both these guys don’t like Prince, but they’d love to tear each other apart as well. They lock up and jockey for position. Knight grabs a side headlock, but Brock shoots him off the ropes. He tries a clothesline, but Knight ducks and runs towards Prince, sticking his arm out and clotheslining him over the top rope and to the floor. Knight turns and charges back towards Brock, but Brock is ready for him and takes him down with a powerslam. He goes for the cover. 1…. But it’s much too early and PK easily kicks out. Brock drags him up by the hair, driving his forearm into Knight’s back, but PK quickly goes behind Brock and takes his leg out, spinning around and grabbing a front face lock, pulling back to put pressure on Brock’s neck. Brock uses his power advantage to get back to his knees, and then his feet, wrapping his arms around Knight and taking him over with a belly to back suplex. COLE With his strength, Brock holds a bit of an advantage over the slimmed down Knight, who will have to wear him down to have a chance to get him pinned. Brock drags PK up again and wraps him up for another suplex, but PK backpedals and falls down, the momentum sending Brock through the middle rope and to the floor. COACH Good counter there by Knight, getting Brock off of him for a few moments. Brock gets to his feet, and is completely blindsided by a charging Prince Killings, who wraps him in a tackle and backs him up until….. *BAM* Brock strikes the ring steps, dislodging them; his lower back taking most of the impact. Brock grimaces in pain, grabbing the area with his hand and hunching over on his knees. Prince pulls him back to his feet and charges into him shoulder first, ramming him into the steel ring post, further damaging the back. Brock yells in pain. COLE Now there’s a way to slow that man down. Even someone like Brock Ausstin can fall prey to the cold, cold, unforgiving steel of the 3 ton ring steps and solid steel ring post. Killings rolls Brock back into the ring and goes to roll back in, but PK grabs him as he does so and tosses him right back out to the floor. Knight stomps the back and drops an elbow on it before slipping on a chinlock and burying his knee into Brock’s back. Brock grunts in pain as he is bent further back, increasing the pressure on his back. COLE As we saw in his match with Jumbo a few weeks ago, PK seems to have changed styles to more of a mat-based submission style. And he’s taking advantage of what Killings did to Brock’s back. CABOOSE How the hell wasn’t Prince disqualified for using the steps? You’d have to be a deaf jackass to totally miss that sound. Oh, wait; I just answered my own question there. Prince slides back into the ring and knocks PK away with an axehandle, dragging him to his feet and tossing him through the middle rope and to the floor. Prince turns his attention to Brock, stomping the lower back and dropping an elbow on it. He bounces off the rope and leaps, further damaging the back with a kneedrop. Prince gestures to the crowd and yells “He’s done”, drawing boos. He motions in for the kill, standing over Brock, pulling him into a sitting position….. COLE Well, it may look like Prince has actually improved his…. ….and slapping on a rear chinlock. COLE *Sigh* “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” A wide smile crosses Prince’s face as he puts more pressure on the hold, repeatedly telling the fans to shut up. The hold doesn’t prove to be all that effective as Brock, with Prince hanging on for the ride on his back, gets back to his feet and backs Prince into the corner to break the hold. He takes a few steps back and gets a head of steam before charging into the corner with a clothesline. He holds Prince in the corner and drives some knees to his gut. PK, sliding back into the ring, sees an opening and charges, driving his shoulder into Brock’s back and squishing him against Prince. He drives his shoulder into it a few more times, holding it there and bending Brock back a bit, with Killings being pinned between him and the corner. Knight releases and pulls Brock away, leaving Prince to fall to his knees and gasp for air. PK whips Brock against the ropes and charges, but Brock ducks the clothesline and bounces off the opposite strands, with PK bouncing off the opposite ropes as well. Brock gets a head of steam and nails PK with a SPEAR!!!! CABOOSE YEAH! Brock goes for the cover… 1…… 2…… Prince breaks up the cover. Of course, that does nothing but anger Brock. Prince notices this and tries to flee, but Brock grabs his arm and yanks him back towards him, hoisting Prince on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. CABOOSE Here it comes, Cole!!!! Brock smiles at PK before turning Prince off his shoulders and…… *WHUMP* “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Nailing Prince with a KNIGHTMARE!!!! CABOOSE Whoa!! COLE Brock Ausstin with the Knightmare on Prince Killings!!!! Here’s the cover: 1….. 2….. THR….NO, Knight breaks up the pin!! PK kicks Brock away, dragging Prince roughly to his feet and putting him up in a fireman’s carry. COLE Don’t tell me….. PK stares at Brock before spinning Prince around……. *WHUMP* And dropping him to the mat in an F-Stunner-5! “YEAHHHHHHH!!!” COLE And now PK uses Brock’s finisher on Killings! These guys are completely punishing the actor turned wrestler. He goes for the cover. 1……. 2……. THR…….NO, Brock breaks up the pin! Brock stomps Killings, and PK grabs him, whipping Brock hard into the corner before picking up Killings and dumping him over the top rope. In doing this, he doesn’t notice Brock sinking in the corner, waiting for him to turn around. The crowd does, however, and rises to their feet in anticipation COLE If Brock connects here, Knight is done!!! Brock charges, but PK trips him up and quickly grapevines his legs, looking to be going for a sharpshooter, but instead he turns around and bends over, grabbing Brock’s arms and pulling him up, causing his body to be bent in a U position, right at his lower back. COLE Wow, what kind of hold is that? COACH I remember Bull Nakano using it against Alundra Blaze once, and it looks like it hurts like hell. A look of severe pain crosses Brock’s face, as he grits his teeth and grimaces. Some of the crowd starts to clap, trying to will Brock to get out of the hold. The problem is, he is right in the middle of the ring and PK has his arms pulled back, so he can’t reach for the ropes and has the leverage. COLE I’ll tell you, I don’t know how Brock will be able to escape this hold. His back has been worn down pretty well, and that is where this move is focused on. Rick slaps the apron and yells encouragement at his man and Brock tries to power his way out of the move, but PK keeps him down by pulling back on the arms even further, putting more pressure on the back and causing Brock to scream in pain. He tries to lean to one side, hoping to break the hold that way, but Knight uses the leverage advantage to keep that from happening, pulling back on the arms more as punishment. Brock still holds on, but his face shows the immense pain he is feeling right now, yelling “NO!” every time the referee asks him if he wants to submit. CABOOSE It’s a battle of wills right now. Come on Brock, fight it!!! Knight seems to be getting a bit frustrated at Brock’s refusal to quit and yells at him “Come on, Brock! There’s no escape!” before slipping his hands under Brock’s arms and locking them on the back of Brock’s neck in a full-nelson position, giving himself even more leverage and causing Brock even more pain. “OHHHHHHH!” The crowd gasps in awe at how far Brock’s back is being torqued by the modified hold and begin to chant: “BROCK! BROCK! BROCK! BROCK!” COLE Wow, I have no idea how Brock is still holding on under this much agony. CABOOSE Guts, Michael Cole, pure guts. Not many guys could take the punishment that he has in this match. Brock seems to be fading a bit and the ref is right on top of things, continually asking if Brock wants to give up, since he is in a position where he won’t be able to signal a submission by tapping out. Brock takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to move himself forward, and is successful, moving himself a few inches towards the ropes. He breathes again and is able to move a bit closer as Brock’s fans cheer him on. CABOOSE COME ON!!! ALMOST THERE!!! Brock, now only mere feet from the ropes, gets ready for one last push, but this time PK pulls back on him and backs him back to the middle of the ring! COACH That’s it. That is it! Brock is a matter of seconds from submitting here! CABOOSE Oh, when are YOU ever right? Brock struggles to hold on….. Struggles……. REFEREE Brock, do you want to quit? BROCK ……………………………………………………………………………. YES! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” *DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner, by submission, Peterrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!! COLE Unbelievable!! Peter Knight has made Brock Ausstin submit; I don’t think ANYONE has ever done that before!! CABOOSE Wow…..just……..damn. COACH Guess I was right this time, eh Caboose? CABOOSE Sure, keep pulling the pissed off tiger’s tail. Knight’s fans cheer, but most of the crowd stands in shock at what they’ve just witnessed. PK gets his hand raised by the referee and rolls out of the ring, not taking any time to relish in what he had accomplished but instead walking up the aisle to the back. Rick is now in the ring, checking on his man, who has his head down, almost in shame. COLE Hey, you’ve got to give it to Brock there; he held on through such excruciating pain, more than anyone else in this fed would probably be able to sustain. With the help of the referee and Rick, Brock gets back to his feet. The fans applaud Brock’s heart as he favors his lower back and kicks the bottom rope in frustration. COLE Well, I’ve got to tell you guys; I did not expect this result at all. A minor upset here tonight at Living Angelously as Peter Knight actually makes the big man Brock Ausstin submit. COACH Hey, Cole, I'm hearing Hoff has something to say backstage. CABOOSE Oh, goodie. The cameras cut to the backstage area, where Josh Matthews is walking down a hallway. We hear Triple C on voiceover: COLE Fans, thank you so much for joining us tonight. COACH HOLLA~! COLE We've still got plenty more action ahead, our WORLD TITLE match, plus the match to determine the #1 contender to that title! And our own Josh Matthews is on his way to get a word with one of the participants right now! Josh stops and turns to face a door with a large "H" on it. The fans cheer the door, and Josh knocks. His knocks are answered by none other than HOFF. "YEEEEEEEAH!!" Hoff, dressed for battle minus the gloves, steps out of the doorway, closing it behind him. JOSH Hoff, I was wondering if you could tell us how your knee is after Crystal and Gunner's sneak attack last Thursday on HeldDOWN? HOFF My knee....my knee is fine, why should it be any different? Josh eyes Hoff suspiciously. JOSH Well, Hoff, it's just that, well, that WAS the knee that Chris Stevens attacked in November. The knee you had to have surgically repaired! Hoff looks at J. Math blankly. HOFF Yeah, so? JOSH Well.....I mean, I guess I'm wonderng if after all the abuse, you're still at 100% tonight? Hoff smiles, rolling his eyes. HOFF Okay, Matthews, you got me. Listen. Truth is, my knee's been better. I mean, it's good...but it's seen better days. See, my old friend Chris Stevens painted a bullseye on the damn thing, and everyone knows it. Last week, Crystal and Gunner fired a bullet. And let me tell you something: it was a direct hit. JOSH So....will you be able to compete tonight? HOFF Whoa whoa whoa, Josh. Are you implying that one bum knee could keep me out of the ring? Hoff looks down at Josh, flabbergasted and offended. JOSH Well I-- HOFF No, let me get it STRAIGHT, Matthews! You think one little knee injury is gonna keep me down?! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" JOSH Well, no, I mean...it's just-- HOFF Let me tell you something, Josh Matthews. You could cut off BOTH my damn knees, and I'd STILL go out there and whoop Crystal's skanky ass! "YEEEEEEEEEAH!!" HOFF Oh, YEAH! You damn right, Josh! Here, why don't you cut off a pinky. Or a thumb, here, take the whole damn hand! Buddy, if I had nothing left but my head and myass, I'd go out there and headbutt the *BLEEP*, and then sit right down on top of her for the 1-2-3!! Hoff takes a deep breath, allowing the fans to catch theirs as well. Hoff looks down hard at Josh, his expression earnest. HOFF Josh, tonight, I fight both for an opportunity...and for a friend, and there is nothing...nothing...that's gonna stop me now. Hoff looks at Josh, who nods, before turning back and walking into his locker room. Hoff shuts the door, and Josh is left all alone. JOSH Cole, Coach, 'Booze...back to you! Edited April 25, 2005 by NY Untouchable Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 COLE Thanks Josh! COACH You know if Josh grew a goatee....or you shaved yours off....you two would look exactly the same. COLE The white boy thing again? COACH Yep. CABOOSE LAME~! COLE Let's just go down to the ring for the FIRST of our five title matches up tonight! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is for the HIYAH International Tag Team Championship! Cue: "Calling Dr. Love" As Kiss kicks out, the two familiar figures spring out, in matching green tights with long white coats. BUFFER From Chicago, Illinois, they are former HIYAH Tag Champions, at a total combined weight of 434lbs - Dr. Max Anderson - Dr. Steven Pigley - the LURRRRRRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! The Docs sprint down to the ring and slide in under the bottom rope, before getting up to bust a move, removing their coats and throwing them into the crowd to the screams of the female fans. And male ones with high voices. Max and Steve highfive and await their opponents. Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" One of the stranger remixes currently on the market plays as two huge shapes emerge. BUFFER From the Depths of Hell Itself, weighing a combined 715lbs, JINGUS and the Sadist, the HIYAH International Tag Team champions - HELLLLLLL'S HIT-MEN! JINGUS, wearing burnt red tights and what looks like chainmail upon his torso, and Sadist, white tights and a large club over his shoulder, walk to the ring, smirking. BUFFER The conditions of this match - Hell's Hitmen may not be disqualified, but the Love Doctors can, for all the usual reasons. Your referee for this match - Mike Chioda! Chioda does a little dance for no apparent reason, finishing with jazz hands that elicit no reaction from anyone. He looks crushed. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen - you heard it from Buffer - what a challenge for the Docs! CABOOSE Well, if you saw the Hitmen's promo on HeldDown on Thursday, you'd understand why they deserve it. They keep chasing the Hitmen when they patently don't deserve the titles. Hopefully the Hitmen can use tonights stipulations to send them to their own hospital for a long, long time. COLE Well, I would have seen that promo except I was busy talking on my new cellphone! Look, its so cool, I can take pictures with it! Do you wanna see? Look, here's my friend Randy- here he is with my friend Julian - here they all are in a wet T shirt competition - The camera pans out to show a phone being hurled high into the crowd. In the ring, Sadist is rolling his club from one hand to the other as the Docs look at each other in consternation. *DING DING DING* Sadist charges, swinging his club. The Docs scatter and Sadist brings the club down onto the top rope instead. It rebounds and cracks him between the eyes. A look of giddy pleasure crosses his face before he falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring. JINGUS appears to sigh and grabs the nearest Doc, Steve Pigley, and throws him into the corner. The Devilman goes to work, pummeling Pigley with hard punches to the midsection, closed fist blows which are perfectly legal for the Hitmen in this match. Steve falls to one knee, gasping. Dr. Anderson is on the apron, already calling for a tag. COLE How am I gonna call my momma now? CABOOSE You can call me. You can get her that way most mornings. COLE (chuckling) Yeah, she's a whore. JINGUS whips Pigley to the ropes and sends him hiiiiiiigh into the air with a big back drop. Pigley almost bounces off the mat, and the Devilman is after him immediately, bringing him to his feet and applying a front face lock. JINGUS lifts Pigley up for a suplex, and then walks around the ring to each corner with Pigley held vertically, displaying his strength. Finally, JINGUS brings Pigley into the middle of the ring and completes the suplex with thunderous impact. The cover: ONE! TWO! Kickout... JINGUS pulls Pigley up and tags in his somewhat recovered partner. The Hitmen whip Dr. Steve to the ropes and swing a double lariat at him, but Pigley somehow ducks past them. HH whirl round, and Steve hits them with a dropsault, but the single boot to each monster has little effect, and as Pigley gets up Sadist spins him 360 onto the back of his head with a deadly lariat. Chioda tries to get JINGUS out of the ring, but the Devilman looks at him and won't be moved. Mike begins to threaten a DQ, but JINGUS reminds him of the stips via the medium of the growl. COLE This just gets worse for the Docs! The Hitmen can make this into a virtual handicap match! CABOOSE Well, the Docs should have thought of that and not showed up. Their own fault. The Hitmen stomp Dr. Steve into the mat. Max Anderson tries to run in, but Chioda stops him, to the boos of the fans. COACH He's only doing his job, but Mike Chioda is not a popular man right now. COLE I don't think anyone likes him anyway. The Hitmen scrape Pigley up. Steve throws a few ineffectual punches, before JINGUS headbutts him and then lifts him into position for a fall away slam. Sadist stands back and watches as JINGUS hurls Pigley through the air with the throw - straight towards Sadist! Sadie jumps and catches Steve with a spinning powerslam in midair! Pigley is driven hard into the canvas as Sadist covers - ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Steve just throws up a shoulder. Sadist picks him up and applies a standing headscissors, before lifting him up for a powerbomb. JINGUS grabs a hold of Pigley's neck, and the Hitmen execute a vicious powerbomb/neckbreaker combo that looks to have possibly killed Dr. Steve dead. JINGUS covers....but Chioda won't count it, pointing out that Sadist is the legal man! COLE Wow, good officiating from Mike! He may not be able to force JINGUS out of the ring, but he doesn't have to count illegal pins. CABOOSE He probably should if he doesn't want to die. He can't DQ them for attacking the ref, either. The Devilman gets in Mike's face, backed up by the Sadist. This allows Dr. Max to slip into the ring and drag Pigley to his teams corner. "Hey! Idiots!" yells Max, and as the Hitmen and Chioda turn he slaps Pigley's shoulder and tags himself in. The Hitmen rush over, but Max jumps onto the top rope and springboards over the top of them! Anderson rolls to his feet behind the Hitmen, who turn and charge Max again. This time Dr. Anderson slides through Sadist's legs and gives him a superkick to the jaw as he rises! Sadie staggers back into JINGUS's arms, who tosses him aside and grabs for Max. Anderson evades his grip and chops the Devilman - and howls in pain as his hand comes into contact with the chainmail on his chest. JINGUS laughs diabolically and grabs the injured right hand in his own massive paw, squeezing and crushing at the bones. Max grimaces, but suddenly leaps up and with his left boot connects with a standing enziguiri kick to the side of the Devilman's head! JINGUS, a little stunned, releases Anderson, who bounces off the ropes and takes JINGUS's leg out from under him with a low dropkick. Max goes after the leg with kicks and then tries for a figure four leglock, but is propelled off easily. JINGUS gets to his feet, shaking out the leg, and yells at Sadist to get up. Sadie obliges, and he has his club once more. Max kicks the Devilman's leg again, but JINGUS ignores his blow and grabs him round the throat - a chokeslam attempt follows, but Max slips out and lands behind JINGUS. A dropkick to the back of the leg sends the Devilman down, but as Anderson rises he takes a club shot from Sadist to the jaw. Max crumples to the mat. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Dr. Steve recovers and makes a desperate, diving save. Sadist and Pigley are up. Sadie swings his club, and Pigley ducks. Sadist swings again, and Pigley ducks again, and Sadist stops the club a fraction in front of the face of the risen JINGUS. The Hitmen look at each other with relief. They both turn back to Pigley, who, still groggy, raises his hands. Sadist slaps the club in the palm of his hand, grinning sickly, as they advance on the plucky doc. COLE This doesn't look good for the Docs. They've battled against the stipulation but I think their luck might be running out... Sadist is about to attack when a figure comes running (well, walking fast) down the ramp. It's Bill Watts! With a microphone! WATTS Woh there, boys. I've had about enough of this. This may be a HIYAH title match, but its in an OAOAST ring. If they can make screwy stipulations, then so can I. And right now, I'm declaring this match no DQ for *both* teams! POP for this from the crowd! WATTS So now that everything's fair - let's get to it! Watts nods with satisfaction and goes back up the ramp. JINGUS and Sadist look furious, eyes flashing. Pigley has a grim smile on his face, well aware he's still facing two monsters on his own. The Hitmen realise this too, and continue to advance. Pigley is backed into the corner, hands on the top rope...Sadist raises his club once more...and Steve uses the rope to spring himself up with a kick to the groin of both men! The Hitmen groan and stagger back, and Pigley climbs to the top rope. COLE Bill Watts has evened things up! Can Pigley take advantage here? CABOOSE How can Watts just disregard the HIYAH officials like that? It's time the senile old fool retired. Dr. Steve leaps off with missile dropkick to Sadist that takes him down and sends his club rolling out of the ring. Pigley jumps up, and JINGUS charges at him, but Steve backs away to the ropes and pulls the top cable down, sending JINGUS tumbling out to the floor! Pigley encourages the recovering Max Anderson to his feet, and together they whip Sadist to the ropes. Drop toe hold by Max, and a spinning legdrop to the back of the head by Pigley stings Sadist. The Docs both runs the ropes either side of the monster and both deliver low dropkicks to the side of Sadie's head, so his skull is crushed between their boots! With the match wholly broken down now, Chioda doesn't try to enforce the legal man rules as Pigley covers Sadist - ONE! TWO! THREE- Sadist throws Pigley off and starts to get to his feet. CABOOSE The Doc's may have the no-DQ ruling too now, but they still have to find away to put the Hitmen down and that won't be easy. Sadist just shrugged off their flippy floppy offence. COLE It's going to need heart and teamwork, and maybe some big solid objects. The Devilman is up and climbing back into the ring, so the Docs whip Sadist across and into him, knocking JINGUS back to the floor! Sadist comes off the ropes and Anderson throws a superkick- but Sadist ducks it! COACH Wow, I think the big idiot learned something! He got superkicked to hell by the team of Zack Malibu and Some Guy recently, he also took one earlier in the match - he must have learned how to duck! COLE What's also interesting is he decided not to absorb the kick and take the pain he enjoys so much. He's putting the match first, that's how important these titles are to him! Sadist smashes the off balance Anderson with a clothesline, and then catches Pigley as he runs in with a spinebuster right onto Max! Sadist puts a boot on the pile of Doctors and roars with satisfaction. Chioda hesitantly tells him that Pigley is face down, and thus can't be a pin can't be counted. Sadist grabs Chioda and chokeslams him onto the pile of bodies! Sadie roars again and runs around the ring in circles, grinning wildly! COLE Well, he might have learned to duck but otherwise his brain is working just as well as ever. JINGUS finally climbs back into the ring and starts directing matters. He drags Pigley out from under Max and Chioda, and tells Sadist to get a chair from ringside. JINGUS holds Pigley up while Sadist prepares to swing the chair, but Pigley gets his boots up, blocking the chair shot back into Sadist's face! Steve flips out of JINGUS's grasp and, grabbing the chair from the fallen Sadist, cracks the Devilman over the head with it! Cover! ONE! TWO! JINGUS throws Pigley off and does the Zombie sit up...but Max Anderson batters him with another chairshot from behind! Another shot from Steve, and another from Max! Chioda counts a pin from Max! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Chioda is pulled out of the ring at the last minute! The camera zooms in to reveal the Hitmen's new valet, the 6ft Jypan, was responsible! She stomps on Mike! The Docs make to go out to aid Chioda, but Sadist pops back up out of nowhere and takes them down with a double lariat. Sadie brings Pigley up and sets him for a tombstone piledriver, but Max staggers up to aid his partner. He takes a grip on Sadist from behind and starts to pull him over, reversing his position. Pigley gets his feet to the mat, and helps Anderson, until they have Sadist in position for a double team tombstone! CABOOSE What the hell? They can't do that! COLE Anything can happen in the OAOAST federation! Pigley and Anderson spike Sadist into the mat with the assisted tombstone! Cover - but no ref, of course. Jypan is now tending to JINGUS on the apron, and she hands him a pair of huge brass knuckles. JINGUS steps into the ring and punches Pigley in the head with them as he is covering Sadist. Max, hanging on the ropes, grabs one of the discarded chairs and swings at the Devilman, who punches it away with the assistance of the knucks. Anderson swings again, and again JINGUS knocks the chair away, this time following up with a vicious uppercut that floors Max. JINGUS covers...and Jypan starts to push Chioda back into the ring. COLE Oh no, c'mon, this isn't right! CABOOSE It's no DQ Cole! It's all legal! A groggy Chioda looks around him, and then starts to count, ever so slowly. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Chioda is pulled out of the other side of the ring by Dr. Ima Hoe, appearing out of the crowd! Jypan and JINGUS curse in Hellish language. COLE Ima Hoe! Ima Hoe! CABOOSE Heh. COACH "Dr. Feelgood" was abused by the Hitmen on HeldDown last week, but she just got some measure of revenge! Jypan runs around the ring to attack Ima, but Dr.Feelgood is ready and nails her with a spinkick to the jaw! JINGUS leans down and grabs Ima by the hair, pulling her up to the apron, but Ima pokes the Devilman in the eye through his mask! JINGUS staggers in the middle of the ring, blinded, as the Sadist gets up. Groggily, Sadie bumps into JINGUS, who unwittingly lashes his own partner with a thunderous Devil lariat! Cheered on by Dr. Hoe, the Docs drag themselves up. They see JINGUS and quickly trip him down with a double team drop toe hold. The Devilman rolls onto his back as the Docs each ascend to the top rope above him! 450 splash from Max Anderson! 640 back senton splash from Steve Pigley! Pigley and Anderson both pile onto JINGUS! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE C'mon! That wasn't right! COLE (really bad English accent) It's all legal, Caboose! Mate! CABOOSE If you ever want to lick anything again, you'll keep your tongue quiet now. BUFFER The winners of the match and NUUUUUUUUUUUUU HIYAH Tag Team Champions - the LURRRRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! Pigley and Anderson embrace each other and Dr. Feelgood in the middle of the ring to a happy pop from the crowd. Mike Chioda hands them their title belts which they proudly display. COACH It's been a hell of a ride for the Docs over the past few months, but thanks to their determination, skill and Dr.Feelgood, they have back the titles they so badly wanted! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - the Love Doctors! The camera focuses on the Docs grinning faces, proudly holding onto their gold, finally triumphing over the two monsters -- at least for tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 COLE Let’s take a look at the history behind our next matchup for the 24/7 Title. It’s “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican defending his title against former Lightning Crew member John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and it’s coming up in just a few minutes! The OAOAST Living Anglelously logo flashes across the screen. Footage is shown, with a caption in the bottom right hand corner reading: OAOAST INTENSEZONE JANUARY 20, 2004 PRL is in the ring with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: PRL He is the member that I am SURE WILL DESTROY THE MAD CAPPA!!! I am proud to let Cappa know, that I have added one more member for you to overcome. But trust me. It won’t be easy. For if you are lucky enough to win tonight, you will have to face this machine. This monster. He is my greatest creation, and I am ready to unleash him into the world. Ladies and Gentlemen. LINDSAY It is time to introduce to you the future of professional wrestling! The evolution of this business! PRL A man, who will be the first of many. A man who will lead my army. A man who will CRUSH THE MAD CRAPPA! He is what every Lightning Crew member should be. When you follow my beliefs. When you do everything I say. When you are Lightning Crew through and through 4-Life. You will become him. He is an example of what I want in a Lightning Crew member. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ PRL’s greatest achievement! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING Here is he. The NEWEST MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I proudly introduce to you…. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBER!!! The lights go down in the arena. The crowd pops in anticipation. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing. A lightning bolt hits the entrance as the Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The crowd boos as smoke and fog fill up the entrance and lights flicker on and off in the entrance. Suddenly, through the fog a 6’6” man appears. The crowd is in shock. (Cut to) PRL PROTOTYPE, are you ready? PROTOTYPE Yes sir. I am at your bidding. PRL Good, and call me boss. PROTOTPYE, do you have any words for the audience? PROTOTYPE Boss, I will crush anybody I face. I will strike fear into your enemies. I will make sure that nobody, NOBODY messes with you. I will do whatever you ask of me. I am your servant, I am your creation. I am a MONSTER!!! IAM YOUR GREATEST ACHEIEVEMENT!!! I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by once again. A caption reads: OAOAST INTENSEZONE FEBRUARY 3, 2004 JR PROTOTYPE has just used the PROTOPLEX on Paul Hartford Sanders. Could this be over? PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING What do you mean “could”? It is over! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member covers Paul Hartford Sanders. The referee counts. 1… 2… 3!!! *DING DING DING* PRL YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!!! PROTOTYPE HAS WON JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU ALL!!! I TOLD YOU SO!!! I TOLD YOU SO!!! I RULE! I RULE! I RULE! GARY MICHAEL CAPPATETTA Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match…. PROTOTYPE: THE PERFECT LIGHTNING CREW MEMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRR!!!!!!!! ”No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing again. The referee raises PROTOTYPE’S arms in victory as the crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Paul Hartford Sanders struggles to get up, but PROTOTYPE grabs him and throws him over the top rope causing the crowd to groan. (Cut to) PROTOYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member stands in the ring. He looks at Jim Ross, and then sneers. He exits the ring with the crowd wondering what he is going to do. Suddenly, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member lounges after Jim Ross, grabbing him and dragging him across the announcer’s table onto the floor. Puerto Rican Lightning slaps the cowboy hat off, grabbing a microphone and ordering PROTOTYPE to take Jim Ross into the ring. “No Chance In Hell” stops playing. The crowd begins booing once again as PROTOTYPE throws Jim Ross into the ring, and follows with PRL. JR What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME GO! LET ME GO! YOU BASTARD LET ME GO!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING Very good PROTOTYPE. Very, very good. Now--SHUT UP! The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage in Lightning’s direction. PROTOTYPE has Jim Ross by his shirt. JR has a worried look on his face. PRL walks over to Jim, and with an evil look on his face, slaps JR. The crowd jeers. PRL HAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT ME? PRL punches JR in the stomach. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT PROTOTYPE? PRL kicks JR in the nuts. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT LINDSAY? PRL slaps JR in the face again. PRL YOU WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT THE LIGHTNING CREW?!!!! PRL hits JR in the face with a right jab. He chokes him with PROTOTYPE smiling evilly. The crowd boos. PRL looks at JR with rage in his eyes. PRL Well now, you are going to pay for what you have said! Puerto Rican Lightning kicks Jim Ross in the gut…and gives him the P.R. Nightmare. The crowd boos loudly, but PRL soaks it all in. He high fives PROTOTYPE. Jim Ross lies on the mat, clutching his stomach in pain. He struggles to get up. The “P.R. SUCKS!” chants get louder than usual. PRL CONTINUE BEATING ON JR, PROTOTYPE! BEAT HIM UP! HURT HIM! COME ON PROTOTYPE!!! OPEN HIM UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member obliges and beats on Jim Ross. He nails him in the head with several fists, causing the IZ announcer to drop to the mat. Soon, JR is busted open, bleeding from the forehead and the mouth. PRL Don’t stop PROTOTYPE! DO NOT STOP! He maybe bleeding, BUT HE IS NOT IN PAIN! I ORDER YOU TO HURT HIM SOME MORE! THAT IS AN ORDER!!! HURT HIM!!! HURT HIM!!! HURT HIM!!! The crowd continues booing and throwing garbage in P.R.’s direction, as he lays in kicks to JR’s stomach, while PROTOTYPE beats on JR’s head causing it to bleed some more. PRL and PROTOTYPE urge Jim Ross to get up. He does get up slowly. PRL Finish him off, PROTOTYPE! FINISH THE BASTARD OFF!!! It’s now a slobberknocker, huh Ross? BAWD GAWD LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THE POWER OF THIS HOSS ISN’T THAT RIGHT JR? HUH? FINISH HIS OKLAHOMA ASS!!! PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member picks up Jim Ross and puts him in front of him. JR begs for mercy, but PROTOTYPE lifts him up for the pumphandle slam, but instead gives him a sitdown Powerbomb completing the PROTOPLEX. PROTOTYPE stands up and yells over the fallen JR, spitting in his face. PRL NO! NO! NO! PROTOTYPE CONTINUED! UNLEASH THE DEMON INSIDE PROTOTYPE! PROTOTYPE obliges, while the crowd boos and continue throwing garbage in his direction. P.R. does the slow cutthroat, and orders PROTOTYPE to attack with a sadistic smile on his face. He laughs evilly as Jim Ross struggles to get up. PROTOTYPE grabs him and laughs. He puts Jim Ross on top of his shoulders back first. He walks around the ring carrying the pained Jim Ross. He then delivers the PERFECT Finishing Move onto JR, with JR hitting the mat face first. The crowd groans, but soon gets back to booing as PROTOTYPE lies on the mat. PROTOTYPE heads to the outside and grabs a can of spray-paint. He heads back to the ring and spray-paints “LC” on JR’s chest. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member and Puerto Rican Lightning raise their hands in victory over the fallen, bloodied, pained, Jim Ross. The Living Anglelously logo flashes by again. This time a clip is shown from: OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 1, 2004 PRL points at Colombian Heat, yelling at him: PRL You are the cause of all of this! All the unhappiness! All the pain! ALL OF THIS IS THANKS TO YOU!!! YOU STUPID IDIOT! I thought you were my friend! YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A THING! How dare you cause me what means the world to me! I hate you! PRL shoves Colombian Heat to a turnbuckle. Colombian Heat defends himself by shoving PRL back. The crowd cheers for Heat’s comeback. PRL and Heat get into a shoving contest with the crowd cheering the whole time. MC OH MY! And it looks like PRL and Colombian Heat are at odds with each other! CABOOSE This is not right! This is not right all! Come on guys! You are best friends! You are amigos! You are padres! You shouldn’t do this! PRL shoves Colombian Heat, but Heat shoves PRL farther. PRL nearly lands on his ass. The two friends get in a staredown that causes The Lightning Crew to get involve. The crowd gets louder and louder, hoping that this means the LC are breaking up. MC We got some problems in The Lightning Crew camp happening right before our very eyes! PRL and Colombian Heat keep shoving each other, until PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member pulls PRL back and away from The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COACH DAMNIT! I wanted to see those two fight! PROTOTYPE tries to talk to PRL. The crowd boos loudly as PRL fights with PROTOTYPE. He shoves him, and then slaps him. MC Oh boy. That is not good. That is not good. COACH PRL shouldn’t have done that. You don’t want to make the monster angry! PROTOTYPE is furious. Puerto Rican Lightning realizes what he has done, and tries to calm down his creation, but PROTOTYPE grabs PRL by his dreadlocks and places him on his back. The crowd stands up and cheers loudly as PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member does the PERFECT Finishing Maneaveaur on Puerto Rican Lightning to a loud pop. Lightning lies on the mat unconscious. COACH Like Frankenstein, PROTOTYPE has turned on his own creator. The very man who made him! CABOOSE Please tell me that this is just an April’s Fools Joke. Please tell me that none of this is serious! Please tell me that this is all a joke. PROTOTYPE did NOT just do that! He did NOT just attack his creator! Please tell me that this is a joke! Please tell me! Come on! The crowd cheers PROTOTYPE as The Lightning Crew decide to charge after him. PROTOTYPE yells and this causes The Lightning Crew to all stand back in fear. PROTOTYPE grunts and snorts and then yells at PRL, who is struggling to get up. He rips his white Lightning Crew t-shirt off to a loud pop and then climbs over the ropes, and leaves the ring. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member walks away from the ring sneering and grunting. The Lightning Crew all check on PRL, with worry looks on their faces, including Colombian Heat. MICHAEL COLE Well, it looks like PROTOTYPE is out of The Lightning Crew! (Cut to) PROTOTYPE leaves through the entrance. The Lightning Crew struggle and pick up Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL grabs the microphone and coughs, catching his breath. PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING (catching his breath) PROTOTYPE. (Cough) PROTOTYPE. Please, come back. Please, please come back. (Clutching his stomach) Please, I’m begging you. Please come back. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. I DEMAND YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE, I ORDER YOU TO COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! PROTOTYPE! COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK!!! PRL cries his eyes out as he holds onto the ropes. PRL is crying, but he speaks through his teeth, as an evil look appears on his face. PRL (yelling) Fine! PROTOTYPE! You want to go! You want to leave your leader? You want to leave your creator? You son-of-a-bitch! Then, PROTOTYPE, YOUUUUUUUU’RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE FIRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!! PROTOTYPE, AS OF THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! I DON’T NEED YOU!!! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by once again. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 14, 2005 PRL Still. Still, I do listen to my fans. I do listen to the Lightning Bolts all over the world. And the Lightning Bolts are telling me that they want to see me defend my 24/7 Title. They want to see me battle it out against the best talent the OAOAST has to offer. They want to see the 24/7 Champion defend the 24/7 Championship! So, right now, in…this…very…ring, I am issuing a challenge. A challenge for the OAOAST 24/7 Title, Sunday April 24th at Living Anglelously. But, I am not going to wait till then to find out who I will be defending my prestigious belt against. Uh-uh. If any of you OAOAST jabronies…uh…I mean Superstars want a title shot against moi, then come out to this ring right now. That’s all you have to do. Just waltz down to this ring and tell me face-to-face “P.R., I want to fight you for the 24/7 Title.” That’s it. That’s all. That’s all there is. Go ahead. I’ll wait. (Cut to) After a good 2 minutes of waiting, “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing. PRL, Popick, and the crowd are puzzled, since nobody in the OAOAST has that song as their entrance music. At long last, the entrance doors slide open, and a man appears. That man is PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member. A small pop is heard from several fans that remember PROTOTYPE from the IntenseZone days, but the majority of crowd has no idea who this man is. PROTOTYPE slowly walks to the ring, clad in red short tights, black fingerless gloves, black elbowpads, black and red kneepads, and black and red boots. COLE I know who that is! That’s PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member! He used to be a member of The Lightning Crew, but PRL kicked him out last year! He hasn’t been seen since April 1, 2004! COACH This is the guy that PRL counted on to take out The Mad Cappa! He brought him into the OAOAST as “Project: Cappa Killer” with the intent on crippling Cappa! Obviously, that didn’t work out, so PRL kicked him out of The LC because of that! CABOOSE It looks like PROTOTYPE is returning to the flock. They always do. It’s only a matter of time. (Cut to) PRL PROTOTYPE! How are you man? Long time no see. How are y— PROTOTYPE grabs the microphone away from Tha Puerto Rican. PROTOTYPE My name isn’t PROTOTYPE anymore. My name is John Brickston, but some people call me “Rock Hard”! (Clip) JOHN BRICKSTON Well, you are issuing a shot at your 24/7 Title for Living Anglelously. You just said that you don’t care if it is a rookie or a veteran; big guy or small guy; fat or skinny; the first person who came to this ring, you would fight at Living Anglelously. And since I just came to the ring, I guess that means that I am going to be facing you for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously. (Clip) PRL Okay. Okay. I’ll fight you at Living Anglelously, BUT FIRST, I have to see if you are worthy of being #1 Contender to the 24/7 Title. That’s why, in order for you to get at me, you’re going to get a POPICK first! And just for fun, the Italian Championship will be on the line! COLE Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican is trying to prevent a match between him and John Brickston from happening! CABOOSE Now, now I wouldn’t say that. PRL just wants to see if Brickston is all he claims to be. He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? POPICK Oh yes, I will take you on for the Italian Championship! Just name the time and the place, I will come to the ring with the Italian Championship, and I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown! Oh yes. (CLIP ALERT!) Once Popick is up, he whips Brickston into the ropes. However, Brickston reverses, Silverman moves out of the way, and Popick bumps into PRL, who flies off the apron into the barricade. The crowd cheers. Popick is shocked, so when he turns around, John Brickston grabs him, and gives him a belly-to-back suplex. Brickston quickly turns Popick over, and grabs his right leg, applying an anklelock on him. COLE Brickston has Popick trapped in the anklelock! John “Rock Hard” Brickston has the anklelock applied in the middle of the ring. PRL is still recovering on the barricade. Referee Billy Silverman checks on Popick, who is desperately trying to crawl to the ring ropes. The crowd is cheering like mad, hoping that the anklelock ends the match. "TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!" COACH How much longer can Popick hold on? Brickston is yelling for Popick to tap. Since he is in the middle of the ring, and despite all his efforts, can’t make it to the ropes, and since Tha Puerto Rican is still dizzy from hitting the barricade, Stephen Joseph Popick has no choice… BUT TO TAP THE MAT!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK TAPS OUT TO THE ANKLELOCK!!! *DING DING DING* (7:41) COLE I don’t believe it! MICHAEL BUFFER The winner of this match…and NEW ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD ITALIAN CHAMPION…JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRIIICCCCCCKKKKKSSSSTTTOOONNNNN!!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing again. John Brickston lets go of the anklelock, and has his hands raised in victory by Billy Silverman. The crowd cheers loudly, as Popick has his head buried in the mat. Brickston is handed the Italian Championship, and raises it to the roar of the crowd. COACH What a return from the man formerly known as PROTOTYPE! COLE John Brickston returns to the OAOAST tonight, challenges PRL for the 24/7 Title at Living Anglelously, and then beats Stephen Joseph Popick, an OAOAST veteran, to win the Italian Championship, the belt that was originally the Puerto Rican Championship, which was brought to the OAOAST by Tha Puerto Rican! The Living Anglelously logo flashes by. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! APRIL 21, 2005 Brickston grabs Stephen Joseph and places him in between his legs. The crowd cheers, thinking that a powerbomb or piledriver is coming up. Brickston plays to the crowd, and then prepares to lift Popick up. However… *BAM!* “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican hits John “Rock Hard” Brickston with the Sweet Chin Music! CABOOSE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! What great timing! COLE John Brickston has been laid out with the Sweet Chin Music! PRL and Popick have finally managed to bring Brickston down to the mat! CABOOSE Now PRL has to continue the attack. He can’t relax for one second! (CLIP ALERT!) Popick charges at Brickston, but Brickston lifts him up on his shoulders, and gives him a Death Valley Driver. COACH That’s the Killswitch! One of Brickston’s signature moves! CABOOSE Come on, PRL! Get up! With Popick and PRL down on the mat, John “Rock Hard” Brickston looks to the crowd. He turns PRL around, and grabs his right leg, applying an anklelock on “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. COLE The anklelock has been applied! And look at Tha Puerto Rican! He is screaming! He could tap out at any second! COACH Could this be a preview of what we can expect this Sunday at Living Anglelously? CABOOSE Why of course not! This isn’t a preview of anything! The crowd is going crazy, as Brickston cinches the anklelock on PR. However, Cuban Wall runs into the ring, and kicks Brickston in the back of his head, letting go of the anklelock. Cuban Wall punches Brickston in the face as the crowd boos. Referee Mickey Jay calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (5:08) (CLIP ALERT!) Cuban Wall beats on John Brickston, and whips him into the ropes. HOWEVER, Brickston reverses, lifting Wall up on his shoulders, and giving him the Killswitch. PRL and Popick slowly get up, while Vitamin X and Thomas Rodriguez enter the ring. Brickston beats on X and Thomas, giving them both the Killswitch. Mr. Boricua enters the ring and beats on Brickston. Boricua gains the advantage, and clutches Brickston’s throat. He goes for a chokeslam, BUT Brickston elbows Boricua in the head, escaping the chokeslam. Brickston beats Mr. Boricua and whips him into the ropes, giving him a big boot. Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall, so Brickston lifts Mr. Boricua up, and places him on his shoulders, which pops the crowd. “Rock Hard” Brickston hits the 7 feet Mr. Boricua with the Killswitch to a loud pop. COLE John Brickston is on a roll! He just gave the 7 feet Mr. Boricua the Killswitch! COACH DAY-UM~!!! John “Rock Hard” Brickston lets out a mighty roar. He rips off his “P.R. SUCKS!” t-shirt, and throws it into the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick carry The Lightning Crew members out of the ring. Brickston grabs his Italian Championship belt and raises it to the cheers of the crowd. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification…JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRIICCCCKKKSSSSTTTOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing. John Brickston plays to the crowd, holding up the OAOAST Italian Championship. The Lightning Crew walks up the ramp, each one in serious pain, especially P.R., who is making threats at Brickston. The crowd chants “BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON!” Brickston smiles. The Living Anglelously logo flashes by on the screen one more time. The camera cuts to the interview area backstage. Josh Matthews is with “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, who is wearing the 24/7 Title belt around his waist with a smile on his face. The crowd boos. JOSH MATTHEWS PRL, in just a few moments, you will be stepping into the ring with the man who you brought into the OAOAST, John “Rock Hard” Brickston. You have guaranteed that you will walk out of the Staples Center tonight still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Why have you gone so far as to guarantee a victory tonight here at Living Anglelously? “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Well, Josh, I can’t guarantee a lot of things. I can’t guarantee that this War in Iraq will end tomorrow. I can’t guarantee that the Los Angeles Lakers will ever become NBA Champions again. (Boos) I can’t guarantee that there will be another season of Arrested Development. I can’t even guarantee that Star Wars Episode III will be any good. But what I CAN guarantee, is that I, Tha Puerto Rican, will walk out of the Staples Center, STILL Twenty-Four Seven Champion. Why you ask? Because I have something that John “Rock Hard” Brickston doesn’t have. Talent. Brickston might be big and muscular, but he doesn’t have the talent that I do. I wasn’t prepared for him these past two weeks, which is why he was able to dominate Popick and me like he has. But, I am mentally and physically prepared this time. I don’t care that Brickston has been successful outside of the OAOAST. It doesn’t matter to me if he has competed in the UFC, K-1, WBF, WWE, ROH, TNA, ABC, KFC, CBGB, or FCC. That doesn’t impress The Corporate Champ. Brickston, you’re in the OAOAST now, you’re in MY world. And in MY world, you are going to get CRUSHED, as I lay the smackdown on your candy ass with the millions and millions of Lightning Bolts cheering me on. When the match is done, you’re going to have to be taken away by medics in a stretcher! (The crowd boos) PRL So, that is why I, Tha Puerto Rican, guaran-DAMN-tees that I will walk into the ring as the 24/7 Champion and I will walk out of the ring, the 24/7 Champion. Because I am “The Corporate Champion”, because I am the greatest Puerto Rican wrestler ever, and because I am THE BEST damn Twenty-Four Seven Champion the OAOAST has ever, and WILL EVER SEE! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! Now, if you excuse me, I have a title to defend. WOOOO! Tha Puerto Rican leaves the interview area, and walks towards the entrance. But stops walking when he bumps into THE MAD CAPPA. The crowd actually cheers. PRL and Mad Cappa stare at each other, neither man moving. The crowd waits for a fight to break out. Instead, PRL smiles. He breaks out in laughter. Cappa is confused at first, but he soon starts laughing too. The two archrivals laugh at each other, confusing the hell out of the crowd. PRL Hey, remember that time when you defeated me at AngleMania III, embarrassing me infront of 78,000 people? CAPPA Remember that time when you threw me into a river, trying to kill me? PRL Or how about that time when I crushed your larynx and nearly ended your career? CAPPA Or how about that time when you bloodied me, and Mr. Boricua gave me a chokeslam through a table? PRL Nah, how about the time when you sent out a bunch of guys dressed as you, in order to distract The Lightning Crew from your actual entrance. Man, I didn’t know you had it in you! CAPPA That wasn’t as good as the time when you had some guy dress up as me and humble him to you. Or the time when you made me get on my hands and knees and beg you for the Puerto Rican Championship belt back. PRL Aw man. We should have had some good times together! CAPPA Good? You were a pain in my ass, and I’m sure I was a pain in your ass! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa continue laughing, with PRL wiping tears from his eyes. Soon, PRL stops laughing, choosing to sneer at Cappa instead. Cappa follows, no longer laughing, and instead, sneering at PRL. The two men sneer at each other for a few seconds. PRL I still hate your guts, Mad Cappa! CAPPA Oh yeah? Well, you still make sick, PRL! PRL Dickweed! CAPPA Jackoff! PRL and Cappa walk away, disappointing the crowd, which hoped for another brawl between the two. COLE You know, some things will never change. COACH I do hope that one day these two men will battle it out once again. ”Godman Syngman” by Quarashi begins playing. The crowd stands up and cheers. After a few seconds of waiting, John “Rock Hard” Brickston comes out through the curtains with the Italian Championship belt across his waist. Brickston is greeted with a nice pop from the audience, which Brickston acknowledges. He shadowboxes in between slapping hands with the fans, as he walks to the ring. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a sixty-minute time limit, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, coming to the ring at this time. Standing 6-foot-6, and weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds. From Sacramento, California, he is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Italian Champion, JOHN “ROCK HARRDDDDD” BRICKKSSTTOOOOONNNNNNN!!! COLE John Brickston is making his OAOAST pay-per-view debut, and what an impressive two weeks this man has had. COACH Absolutely, Cole. As we just saw, John returned to the OAOAST on April 14th, and defeated Stephen Joseph Popick to become the new Italian Champion. He has decimated PRL and Popick every chance he has. COLE Brickston was kicked out of The Lightning Crew on April 1, 2004. Over a year later, on April 24, 2005, he has returned, the Italian Champion, and with a chance to become 24/7 Champion, should he defeat his former boss tonight. Brickston enters the ring, and lets out a mighty roar. He unhooks the Italian Title belt, and raises it to a loud pop from the crowd. “Godman Syngman” continues playing as John Brickston hands the Italian Championship belt to referee Nick Patrick. CABOOSE How terrible is it that a belt that once was held by Tha Puerto Rican, The Mad Cappa, and Drek Stone is now in the hands of some rookie? I don’t care that he is big; it doesn’t mean he deserves to wear the Italian Title! COLE I think he deserves the title. Did you see the way he manhandle Stephen Joseph when he won it? CABOOSE Like that is some kind of impressive task. It’s Popick! If PRL were the Italian Champion, we wouldn’t be in this mess! Brickston shadowboxes some more as “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi comes to an end. He looks at the entrance, as does the crowd. The lights go down. A Puerto Rico flag appears on the AngleTron. In big, white blocky letters the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entranceway and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance. A few seconds elapse, and out from the curtains and through the smoke come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowds boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd with disgust, jawing with some fans. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the ramp. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanying to the ring tonight by his manager and “Career Consultant” OAOAST Corporate Member Stephen Joseph Popick; Standing 5-feet-9, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-three pounds. From San Juan, Puerto Rico, he is the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, Ladies and Gentlemen; please welcome “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOO RICCCCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena, as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. CABOOSE Now HERE is a champion we can all be proud of! PRL has done the 24/7 Title proud! COACH I don’t know how that is possible, seeing as how he was given the title by Popick, and hasn’t defended it since. CABOOSE Would you give the guy a break? He only won the belt 3 weeks ago! And he is defending the belt tonight, well within the 30-day time period. Like he has promised, he is going to be putting some honor back in the 24/7 Title. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron, and sneers at the crowd. With the 24/7 Title belt shining across his waist, Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. systems. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to the second rope, and raises the 24/7 Title belt. He then heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises the belt again. PR hits a third turnbuckle, and raises his right arm in the air and "smells the electrificity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth turnbuckle, receiving boos. CABOOSE Bow down to the best! Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses earring, and HBK-like entrance attire, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on. PR, wearing the Puerto Rican flag facepaint, stares down John Brickston, who is at the opposite turnbuckle. PRL kisses the 24/7 Title belt, and hands it over to referee Nick Patrick, who raises the belt. Popick, wearing a Lightning Crew t-shirt, leather jacket, black jeans, and black boots, shares some last minute words of encouragement with PRL. "Know Your Role '99" dies down, while Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion with Stephen Joseph Popick) VS. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON Tha Puerto Rican and John Brickston stare at each other. The crowd is cheering Brickston on, chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Brickston leads the chants, while PRL tells the crowd to shut up. The two circle each other, waiting for the other to move. COLE PR and Brickston are trying to psych each other out. I doubt if Brickston is frighten of P.R. CABOOSE Yes he is. He’s dealing with someone who has the talent of Tha Puerto Rican. That should frighten any mortal man. PRL stops to jaw with some fans, who respond with more boos. He gets in a fighting stance, as does Brickston. Brickston goes for an attack, but PRL moves out of the way. PRL flips off Brickston. They lock up, and jockey for position. PRL uses all his strength and pushes “Rock Hard” into a turnbuckle. P.R. tries to kick Brickston in the nuts, but Brickston moves out of the way. The two lock up again, and once again jockey for position. PRL once again shoves Brickston into a turnbuckle, and goes to strike Brickston in the face. However, John blocks the punch, and hits PRL in the face with a right jab. “Rock Hard” Brickston punches PRL some more, pushing him into another turnbuckle. TPR scratches at Brickston’s eyes, gaining the advantage. CABOOSE Way to go, PRL! Popick applauds PRL. The Corporate Champ punches John “Rock Hard” Brickston in the face several times, and kicks him in the stomach. PRL grabs Brickston and whips him into the ropes, BUT Brickston reverses, misses a clothesline, misses a big boot, but grabs PRL on the third try and hits him with a Bossman Slam. PR holds his back in pain, but a few seconds later he gets back up. He charges at Brickston, and punches him. Brickston no-sells the punch, and beats on PRL some more. He knees him in the gut, and gives him some CLUBBERIN’, THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. He Irish whips PRL into the ropes; PRL reverses, and then runs towards Brickston, only to get backdropped over the top rope onto the floor! COLE What power from John Brickston! CABOOSE PRL does this all the time. He gets his ass kicked in the beginning, but only because he hasn’t warmed up yet. But once he does warm up, oh boy, look out John Brickston! Stephen Joseph Popick checks on his protégé. PRL saids he’s okay, so he gets up. He shoves the cameraman aside, and gets back into the ring. A small “BRICK-STON!” chant breaks out. PRL hesitates for a few seconds, but he locks up with Brickston again. The man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning knees Brickston in the gut, and grabs a headlock. He cinches the hold tight, refusing to let go, even when Brickston drops to the mat. He punches Brickston on his forehead while applying the headlock. Brickston grabs PRL, and gives him a back suplex, letting go of the headlock. Brickston gets up, and grabs PRL’s right leg, going for the anklelock, but PRL quickly escapes, heading to the ropes. COLE The match could have ended right there! PRL uses the ropes to get up, his facepaint already starting to fade. PRL and Brickston hesitate, Brickston goes for a lockup, but PRL ducks, and hits Brickston with several Rock-style punches to the face. Brickston is dazed enough that Tha Puerto Rican can whip him into a turnbuckle, and follow with the Stinger Splash. PRL continues the corner attack, stomping a mudhole in Brickston. PRL uses his right boot to choke John, but referee Nick Patrick tells him to let go of the chokehold. PRL stops to pose, receiving boos. CABOOSE Come on now, ref. That was a legal move. COLE Maybe from your vantage point, but it was actually an illegal choke. PRL trashtalks Brickston, while Popick tells him to continue his offense. PRL whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. However, “Rock Hard” reverses, and hits PRL with a clothesline. P.R. stumbles out of the turnbuckle, and is met with a HURRICARANA from John Brickston! COLE Oh my! What a move from John Brickston! COACH This guy keeps surprising us! He’s 6’6” and yet he can do cruiserweight like moves! He’s incredibly agile for a man his size. Brickston covers P.R. He gets a two count. Brickston picks up Tha Puerto Rican, and punches him in the face several times. PRL sells each punch like he’s been shot. Brickston whips PRL into the ropes, and gives him a hiptoss, which causes PRL to scream out in pain. Brickston picks up PR and shoves him into a turnbuckle. “Rock Hard” hits PRL in the stomach several times, with the crowd cheering all along. P.R. manages to poke Brickston in the eyes to take over. Lightning chops John’s chest, getting “WOOOOOs!” from the crowd. P.R. grabs Brickston and rams his head on the top turnbuckle a few times. PRL goes back to chopping Brickston’s chest, which soon turns red. Brickston fights back, grabbing PRL, and throwing him into the turnbuckle, chopping his chest. Brickston rips off P.R.’s white Lightning Crew t-shirt, and chops his chest some more. Lightning manages to rake Brickston’s eyes again, stopping the chops. The crowd boos. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COLE That cheater! He can’t put up a fair fight, so he resorts to cheating in order to gain the advantage! COACH You think you’d know that by now, considering you’ve been calling PRL matches for the past year or so. COLE I would hope he would fight fair by now. Cole and Coach laugh. COACH Yeah, like that will ever happen! CABOOSE Idiots. PRL Irish whips John into the ropes. He hits a clothesline, but Brickston doesn’t fall. PRL is shocked, but hits him with another clothesline. Brickston still doesn’t fall. PRL heads to the ropes again, but Brickston grabs him and gives him a powerslam for two. John Brickston heads to top rope. The crowd buzzes, wondering what he has in mind. Brickston waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up, yelling at him. Once P.R. does, Brickston shocks the crowd by doing a crossbody from the top rope! He goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT! Brickston is frustrated. The crowd cheers Brickston on. “Rock Hard” picks up Tha Puerto Rican, and then bounces off the ropes. PRL goes for a clothesline, but Brickston ducks the clothesline, grabs P.R. from behind, and then lifts him up, giving him a full-nelson slam. Brickston gets up, and tells PRL, “You can’t see me!”, complete with the hand gesture, which causes the crowd to pop. CABOOSE Oh, what a sign of disrespect. PRL brought PROTOTYPE into this company, and this is how he repays him? And talk about gimmick infringement! He’s so uncreative, stealing someone else’s mannerisms. Can’t Brickston come up with a mannerism of his own? COACH How can you say that Brickston is uncreative for stealing someone else’s mannerisms when Tha Puerto Rican is right there in the ring? CABOOSE Because I can. Brickston plays to the crowd while Tha Puerto Rican gets up, half of his facepaint now gone. Brickston kicks him back down. John “Rock Hard” Brickston picks PRL up, punching him. He whips him into the ropes, and goes for a big boot. P.R. ducks under the boot, hits the ropes, and hits Brickston with a flying clothesline, that takes the man down. CABOOSE Yes! That’s what I’m talking about! The cheers turn to boos. Tha Puerto Rican kicks Brickston several times. He hits the ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then hits Brickston in the forehead with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. PRL follows up the Five Knuckle Shuffle with fistdrops to the forehead of Brickston. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS!” Popick tries to quiet them down. TPR jaws with the fans, and picks Brickston up. He hits Brickston with European Uppercuts. He goes back to the Rock-like punches, which take Brickston to the ropes. PRL charges after Brickston, and nails him with another flying clothesline, that sends the both of them over the top rope onto the floor! CABOOSE YEAH! YEAH BABY! THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT! COACH Did you go to the Shane McMahon School of Announcing? SHANE McMAHON BOO-YAH~! YEAH BABY! COLE I guess so. PRL gets up first, and attacks Brickston. He whips him into the stairs, causing the crowd to groan. He grabs a cable wire and chokes Brickston with it, while referee Nick Patrick begins counting in the ring. A group of ringside fans chant “P.R. SUCKS!” so PRL argues with them. He grabs Brickston, who is just now feeling fatigue, and rams his head onto the ring apron. He throws Brickston into the ring, just as Nick Patrick counts to 7. PRL continues the attack in the ring, kicking him repeatedly. He picks “Rock Hard” Brickston up, running with him towards the ropes. PRL leaps over the top rope, still holding onto Brickston’s head. Because of this, when PRL lands on the floor, Brickston’s neck connects with the top rope. Brickston’s neck snaps off the top rope, and he falls to the mat. The Necksnap is complete. PRL gets back in the ring, just as Brickston gets up. He runs towards Brickston, and leaps over him giving him the Lightning Shock to groans from the crowd. Lightning covers Brickston. 1… 2… 3—KICK OUT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican with lefts and rights on Brickston. And Brickston is fighting back. Right hand on PRL! Left hand! Brickston is indeed fighting back. He punches P.R. non-stop, and follows with an Irish whip into the ropes. John “Rock Hard” Brickston puts his head down, but instead of a backbody drop occurring, Tha Puerto Rican stops running, grabs Brickston’s head, and DRILLS him with a Dangerous DDT. COACH That’s got to hurt! COLE P.R.L. with the cover. 1. 2. And hegothim! Nohedidn’t. CABOOSE If I went to the Shane McMahon School Of Announcing, then you went to the Vince McMahon School Of Announcing. VINCE McMAHON OH YEAH! FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A—WAIT A MINUTE. CABOOSE See what I mean? PRL argues with the ref, but after failing to convince the ref that it was a three count, PRL gives him the “Up yours!” hand gesture, and then applies a reverse chinlock on Brickston. John Brickston quickly gets up, and elbows PRL in the gut. Brickston heads to the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican leapfrogs over Brickston, and then does a reverse leapfrog over Brickston. Puerto Rican then hits a dropkick on Brickston, bringing him back down to the mat. With Brickston lying on the mat, PRL takes this as the perfect time to climb the top rope. The crowd stands up, knowing what is coming up. P.R. removes his left elbowpad, and throws it into the crowd. He trash talks Brickston…and then leaps off the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” gesture while in mid-air, and hits John “Rock Hard” Brickston in the chest with the Corporate Elbowdrop. CABOOSE Absolutely picture perfect move! You can only expect the best from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL goes back to the chinlock. The crowd takes it cue, and starts cheering Brickston on. Chants of “BRICK-STON!” are heard, while PRL and Popick try to quiet down. Referee Nick Patrick checks on Brickston, while PRL yells “ASK HIM IF HE QUITS!” The crowd claps in unison. The ref checks on Brickston’s right arm. It falls. 1! The ref holds Brickston’s right arm in the air again. It falls. 2! CABOOSE Well, boys, this match is all but over. A hush silence falls over the crowd. Popick and PRL each have smiles on their faces. John Brickston is fading away, as is PRL’s facepaint, which is all but gone. Referee Nick Patrick holds Brickston’s right arm in the air once again. The arm falls—NO!—It did not fall. Brickston is still alive. Brickston is showing signs of life, which causes PRL to shake his head in disbelief. The crowd comes alive. Brickston gets on one knee, with PRL on his back, still clutching the chinlock on him. COACH Well, Caboose, I guess you were wrong about the match being all but over. CABOOSE Shut up. John Brickston gets to a vertical base, with Tha Puerto Rican still applying the chinlock. Brickston walks around the ring, looking like he is giving Tha Puerto Rican a piggyback ride. PRL has a look of fear on his face. Brickston runs backwards into a turnbuckle, slamming PRL in the back in the process. PRL still holds onto the chinlock, so Brickston does it again. PRL still holds on, refusing to let go of the chinlock. Brickston laughs, so he slams PRL into the turnbuckle again. PRL finally lets go of the chinlock, and is thrown across the ring. Brickston grabs PRL, but PRL gives him a lowblow. COLE Now how can the referee not notice that? PRL laughs at Brickston’s pain, and punches him in the face. He gives him a Russian Legsweep. The Corporate Champ picks up John Brickston and punches him in the face. He whips him into the ropes, and puts his head down. Brickston grabs PRL, and puts him between his legs. “Rock Hard” lifts PRL up, and gives him a powerbomb to a loud pop from the crowd. He goes for a cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! CABOOSE Phew. COLE John Brickston may have “The Corporate Champion’s” number! CABOOSE Or he may not. Brickston beats on PRL. He whips him into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline. He misses, but then when PRL bounces off the opposite ropes, Brickston hits Lightning with a MASSIVE clothesline. COLE That nearly took his head off! The Corporate Champ struggles to get up. He crawls across the mat, holding his back, in pain. Brickston walks towards him, which causes Tha Puerto Rican to beg for Brickston to not hit him. He calls for time out, frantically trying to stop Brickston from attacking him. Brickston looks at the crowd, who cheer. He asks if they want him to attack PRL, and they respond with a loud “YES!” So, Brickston obliges, and beats on Tha Puerto Rican, with PRL’s screams turning more and more high pitched with each punch. He whips PRL into the ropes, and hits P.R. with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. He quickly picks PRL up, and punches him several times. Another Irish whip into the ropes, and John Brickston nails PRL with a big boot. “Rock Hard” Brickston looks at the downed Puerto Rican, smiles at the crowd…and lets out a mighty roar! COLE Looks like John Brickston is ready to finish this off! COACH We could be seconds away from a new 24/7 Champion! If John Brickston can apply the anklelock this match is over! CABOOSE And he will not because Tha Puerto Rican won’t let him! COACH Yes he will. CABOOSE No he won’t. COACH Yes he will. COLE QUIET! The crowd is going crazy as John Brickston picks up Tha Puerto Rican. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican pokes Brickston in the eyes again. He punches Brickston in the face several times, and then grabs his head, and rams it into a top turnbuckle pad. Lightning trashtalks Brickston, and rakes him in the eyes. P.R. whips Brickston into the opposite corner, HOWEVER, the whip is reversed, and PRL does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron. P.R. laughs at the crowd, pointing to his forehead, letting the crowd know how smart he is. Unfortunately for Tha Puerto Rican, when he turns around, Brickston gives him a clothesline. PRL rolls back into the ring. He is picked up by Brickston, and given a belly-to-back suplex. John then gets up, and plays to the wildly cheering crowd. Popick gets on the ring apron to distract the referee. Because of this, referee Nick Patrick doesn’t notice when Cuban Wall and Vitamin X run into the ring. They attack John Brickston from behind, and beat on him. COLE Damnit! The Lightning Crew are out here again! COACH Come on, Cole. You knew sooner or later they would show up. All 387 members. While Popick is busy distracting the referee, Cuban Wall and Vitamin X beat on their former Lightning Crew compadre. They both whip him into the ropes, and are met with a MASSIVE clothesline! Both LC members get up, so Brickston gives the Killswitch to Vitamin X, and then to Cuban Wall! COLE John Brickston has just taken care of two members of The Lightning Crew! CABOOSE Cuban Wall and Vitamin X? Those three use to be pals! Oh, why must Brickston treat his friends this way? You hate PRL, why you gotta hate Wall and X? COACH Because he hates The Lightning Crew, not just Tha Puerto Rican? CABOOSE I didn’t really expect an answer, you nitwit! Popick gets off the ring apron, so Nick Patrick finally notices The Lightning Crew members in the ring. He and Brickston order them to get out of the ring. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. He hands them over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is lying on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican puts the brass knuckles on his left hand, and sneaks up behind Brickston. The crowd is going crazy, trying to let Brickston know what’s going on. Brickston doesn’t notice, still trying to get Cuban Wall and Vitamin X out of the ring with Nick Patrick. PRL turns Brickston around…and NAILS him with the brass knuckle covered left hand. The crowd boos. COLE No! No! Not like this! No! Damnit! No! COACH Tha Puerto Rican is going to steal this victory! CABOOSE Yes! Way to go, PRL! That’s how you do it! The crowds boos get louder by the second. PRL puts the brass knuckles inside Brickston’s right kneepad. He then covers Brickston, trying to get the referee’s attention. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall leave the ring, holding onto their backs at ringside. Brickston is still knocked out from the brass knuckles shot to the head. PRL covers Brickston, hooking his left leg. Referee Nick Patrick finally notices this, so he counts. COLE No! It can’t end like this! ONE! TWO! THR—AND BRICKSTON KICKS OUT AT 2.999999999!!! COLE John Brickston is still alive! COACH Dear God. How can he keep fighting like this? CABOOSE It’s because he’s an idiot. That’s why. He should just lie on the mat, and let PRL cover him, so that way he can get out of this match with his career still in tact. PRL can’t believe Brickston wasn’t pinned. He curses in Spanish, and then looks at Popick. Popick tells him “Don’t just stand there! Attack! ATTACK!!!” The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” TPR kicks John in the stomach. He picks him up, and tries to give him a bodyslam. However, the height and weight difference is obvious, since PRL can’t even lift him up. COLE Is he seriously trying for a bodyslam on John “Rock Hard” Brickston? CABOOSE He’s Tha Puerto Rican! The Latino Superman! If any 5’9 wrestler can slam a 6’6 wrestler, Tha Puerto Rican can! PRL tries to bodyslam him several times, failing to do so each. Brickston, and the crowd, laugh at PRL’s sad, pathetic attempts. “Rock Hard” elbows P.R. in the back a few times, which causes P.R. to stop trying to bodyslam him. PRL stumbles around the ring, which allows John Brickston to grab PRL by his neck and choke him. He uses both his arms to lift P.R. up in a double chokehold, which the crowd loves. CABOOSE He’s cheating! It’s not fair! If PRL can’t get away with it, then neither should John Brickston! Referee Nick Patrick orders Brickston to let go of the chokehold. Brickston throws P.R. onto the mat. PRL lands on his ass. Brickston picks him up, but PRL Flair Flops back down. Brickston laughs at this, and picks him up again. P.R. uses all the energy he has left to punch “Rock Hard” in the face. He goes for the Rock-style punches, finishing with spitting his left hand, and then punching Brickston. He grabs Brickston, trying to go for a bodyslam once again. However, he still can’t manage to lift him up. Tha Puerto Rican lets go of Brickston, and holds his back in pain. Brickston takes that as the opportunity to grab Tha Puerto Rican and place him up on his shoulders. The crowd stands up, and cheers when John “Rock Hard” Brickston gives “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican the Killswitch to a loud pop. COLE The Killswitch! It's almost over! Brickston looks at the crowd with a smile on his face. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican’s right leg and turns him around, getting on his left knee to apply the anklelock on Tha Puerto Rican! COLE The anklelock! The anklelock has been applied! COACH Is Tha Puerto Rican going to tap? This is the move that was used to beat Stephen Joseph and win the Italian Title. Will this be the move that will win the 24/7 Title? CABOOSE No! No! No! For goodness sakes, don’t tap out, P.R.! DO NOT TAP OUT! The crowd is going bananas, watching Brickston cinch the hold on PRL. Referee Nick Patrick asks P.R. if he gives up. P.R. shouts out “NO!” PRL desperately tries to crawl over to the ring ropes, but can’t. After a few more seconds of the submission move being applied, Tha Puerto Rican…TAPS OUT TO THE ANKLELOCK!!! Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (11:53) COLE He did it! John “Rock Hard” Brickston has defeated Tha Puerto Rican! He is the new 24/7 Champion! COACH He is a double champion! He is the Italian Champion AND the 24/7 Champion! “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts playing. The crowd goes loopy. John “Rock Hard” Brickston celebrates, while Tha Puerto Rican clutches his right knee. Brickston plays to the crowd, and then is handed the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion….JOHN “ROCK HARRDDDD” BRICCCCKKKSSSTTOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!! COLE It was a battle, but Brickston overcame The Lightning Crew and Tha Puerto Rican’s cheating to become the new 24/7 Champion! CABOOSE That’s not fair! Uh…uh…that’s not fair! He cheated! COLE Cheated how? CABOOSE He just did! I know he did! Brickston is handed the Italian Championship belt, and raises the 24/7 and Italian Championship belts to the roars of the crowd. He gets on the turnbuckles, and raises his title belts. Meanwhile, Popick tells Nick Patrick something. PRL struggles to get up, nearly in tears watching Brickston with both belts. Nick Patrick is shocked at what Popick told him. After some hesitation, Nick Patrick tells John Brickston to come over to him. Popick has an evil smile on his face. COLE Wait. What—what’s going on? COACH I don’t know, Cole. Popick told referee Nick Patrick something, and now Nick Patrick wants to talk to John Brickston. “Godman Syngman” dies down. Referee Nick Patrick checks on John “Rock Hard” Brickston. He reaches into Brickston’s right kneepad, and pulls out the brass knuckles. The crowd is in shock. Brickston proclaims that he has no idea where the brass knuckles came from. Brickston argues with the ref, but Nick Patrick doesn’t believe a word he says. He takes the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt away from John “Rock Hard” Brickston, and heads over to Michael Buffer. COLE Oh, damnit! What a low-life scum PRL is! CABOOSE I knew it! He did cheat! He did cheat after all! He used the brass knuckles! COLE What are you talking about? You and I both saw Tha Puerto Rican hit John Brickston with the brass knuckles, and then put them in his kneepad! This was just a backup plan, just incase PRL lost the match and the belt! CABOOSE I saw something differently. I saw Brickston use those brass knuckles in a BRUTAL attack on PRL! He cheated to win the match, and now he is going to pay for it! Referee Nick Patrick tells Buffer something. Buffer gets on the house mic. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the decision has been reversed. (Boos!) Therefore, the winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification…and STILL ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD TWENTY-FOUR/SEVEN CHAMPION, “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTOOO RICCCCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! The crowd boos REAL LOUD. A chant “BULL-SHIT!” breaks out. Nick Patrick hands the OAOAST 24/7 Title belt over to Tha Puerto Rican, who kisses it. He raises the belt for all the crowd to see. John Brickston is still in shock over the reversed decision. Popick gets in the ring, and raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory, the both of them laughing evilly. COLE Those no good lowlives. John Brickston has been SCREWED out of the 24/7 Title thanks to Stephen Joseph Popick! CABOOSE There’s no use crying over spill milk. The decision has been reversed. The referee’s decision is always final. Tha Puerto Rican is still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. That’s what it’ll say in the record books. COLE It’ll also say that John “Rock Hard” Brickston made Tha Puerto Rican tap out to the anklelock! He DEFEATED Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE So, what? PRL keeps the 24/7 Title. That’s all that matters. John Brickston is filled WITH ANGER~! He chases after Tha Puerto Rican and Popick, but they zoom out of the ring, and exit through the entrance, but not before PRL raises the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt just to rub it in. Nick Patrick tries to calm him down, but Brickston lets out a mighty roar, and gives Nick Patrick the Killswitch! He then turns him around, and applies the anklelock on Nick Patrick! Nick Patrick quickly taps out, to the crowd’s approval. COLE John Brickston is furious, and he’s taking it out on the referee! CABOOSE You call PRL scum! Look at Brickston! Attacking an innocent referee! He should be fined for that! Brickston refuses to let go, and infact, makes it even worse, by turning it into a heel hook. The bell rings, but Brickston does not listen. Referees Charles Robinson and Nick Soapdish run into the ring. They try to make Brickston let go of the heel hook, but he doesn’t listen. They try to pull him off, but that just makes him angrier, so he lets go of the heel hook, and gives Charles Robinson and Nick Soapdish the Killswitch. Referees Earl Herbner, Mickey Jay, and Billy Silverman run into the ring, but they too, are met with the Killswitch. Brickston lets out a mighty roar, and applies the anklelock on Earl Herbner. COLE He’s taking out his frustration on anybody who gets in his way! COACH You can bet he wants to beat Tha Puerto Rican so badly right now! CABOOSE (yelling) He should be suspended!!! He should be fined!!! He should be fired period!!! He should be locked up in a mental institution!!! Him being here puts the entire OAOAST at risk!!! Look at him hurting these referees!!! Somebody should put a straitjacket on him!!! OAOAST Head Of Security Carl Winslow (slowly) runs into the ring. Soon, OAOAST Road Agents “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Terry Taylor, and Terry Funk join him. The four men struggle to pull Brickston off of Earl Herbner, who is still trapped in the anklelock. The three former wrestlers are able to pull the Italian Champion off the referee. They try to calm the furious Brickston down. But not before Brickston grabs Terry Taylor and gives him the Killswitch. CABOOSE YOU JUST HURT THE RED ROOSTER, YOU BASTARD! Winslow, Savage, and Funk are able to calm “Rock Hard” down. Brickston grabs the OAOAST Italian Championship belt and raises it, playing to the madly cheering crowd. “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi starts up again, as John Brickston leaves the ring with the Italian Title belt in tow, but without the 24/7 Championship belt in his hands also. Meanwhile, Carl Winslow, Randy Savage, and Terry Funk check on Nick Patrick, Charles Robinson, Nick Soapdish, Earl Herbner, Mickey Jay, Billy Silverman, and Terry Taylor. COLE What carnage has been left in the ring by John “Rock Hard” Brickston! He just went insane! COACH John Brickston has been screwed out of the 24/7 Title, and as a result, he destroyed anyone who got in his way! CABOOSE Thank God, he didn’t go into the crowd. Imagine the lawsuits the OAOAST would get if he went all “Psycho” on the fans. COLE I think Brickston has a right to be pissed. He won the 24/7 Title, but then PRL and Popick resorted to Plan B and got the title off of him and back to PRL! CABOOSE There was no Plan B. You’re talking nonsense. Brickston cheated, plain and simple. COACH That’s absolutely ridiculous! COLE Coach, don’t bother or we’ll be here all night. John “Rock Hard” Brickston walks to the entrance, muttering, still pissed off. The crowd chants “BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON!” He raises the OAOAST Italian Championship belt for the 18,000 fans in the Staples Center and then leaves, while “Godman Syngman” by Quarashi continues blaring over the P.A. system. CABOOSE Well, Brickston, atleast be happy knowing you are still the Italian Champion. You just couldn’t get the job done, tonight. HA! HA! COLE Brickston was screwed out of the title, so I’m sure this feud between Tha Puerto Rican and John Brickston isn’t over yet. COACH Not by a long shot, Cole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 (edited) *"The Wall" hits and Alfdogg makes his way to the ring, in his new OAOAST Originals Jersey.* COACH Here comes Alf down to the ring! This is a pleasant surprise! COLE Well, I agree with half of that statement, this is surprising. Alf not on the card tonight, but making his way down to the ring! *Alf attempts to speak, but the crowd is booing loudly.* ALFDOGG And to think, the OAOAST pitied this place so much due to the fact that you won't be having the NBA playoffs in town this year...(crowd boos louder) that we brought Living Angleously into town. Hell, you people just had WrestleMania three Goddamned weeks ago! How spoiled can this town be? *crowd continues to boo* ALFDOGG I was in such a good mood too. After all, my speech ten days ago was able to motivate Shaquille O'Neal to lead his PLAYOFF team to victory. I mean, you have to respect this guy, fighting through all the cumulative injuries to his feet and legs, amassed while carrying this ungrateful city to four NBA Finals in five years! *more boos from the crowd* ALFDOGG And now you people have ruined my mood! But enough about you people, because you don't deserve my attention. I'm gonna focus my attention to this Thursday on HeldDOWN. Seeing as I was left off the card tonight by the crack booking staff, this Thursday, from Phoenix, AZ, I'm laying out an open challenge to anyone in the back who thinks they can take me in a falls-count-anywhere match! *crowd now starts to cheer* ALFDOGG So I'll be in Phoenix this Thursday. I bet Kobe Bryant wishes he could say the same now, huh? *crowd boos* ALFDOGG Haha. I'm outta here! *"The Wall" hits and Alf returns to the dressing room.* CABOOSE Well, that was certainly something. COACH Alf is DA MAN~! Though I'm disappointed we didn't see him bring out the ham. That's going to make for an amazing shirt one day. COLE Moving on, our OAOAST Tag Title match is coming up next. Let's get to the ring! Chase which sounds a lot like futuristic porno music hits leading the darling Southern Californians to boo their little hearts out. As purple lights flash on and off near the entrance way, and a blue X appears on the stage, the curtain swings open revealing none other then the soon to be legendary trio of Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton and James E Cornette, The Midnight Express. BUFFER The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes and it is for the Professional Wrestling tag team championship of the world. Introducing the challengers....being accompanied by their manager Jim Cornette, first from Charleston, South Carolina, he is the Sultan of Sarcasm...SARCASTIC SIMON SINGLETON! And his partner from Los Angeles, California...he is the handsome hustler... NARCISSISTIC NED BLANCHAARD, together they form the New New Midnight Express! Ned, being born and raised LA gets a smattering of cheers while his partners receive their fair share of heel heat. The three man confidently strut to the ring, followed by a train of purple spotlights. COACH The stipulation is that if the Chicks lose this match they’ll never get another tag team title shot as long as the Express hold the belts. CABOOSE With the roll these guys are on that could be a long time, Coachman. Cornette sets up shop on the outside, as Simon slides into the ring and begins running his fingers along the waist where his belt will reside after his team emerges victorious. Ned takes off his sparkling purple robe and passes it to an attractive ring attendant. COLE Out of all the major tag teams in the OAOAST, The New New Midnight Express are the only ones who haven’t been beaten by Chicks Over Dicks. The most gorgeous red pyro fountain imaginable springs forth from the entrance stage, illuminating the darkened area. Every single person in the arena, who’s not bound by a wheelchair or overdosing on heroin, leaps to their feet and roars in anticipation, to herald the arrival of their hometown heroes. The opening strains of Anything but Me by pop sensation Lindsay Lohan roll out of the speakers, and the noise level increases exponentially in volume BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER from Los Angeles, California....KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX SPEZIA...... “CHICKS OVER DICKS” hollers the raucous crowd, finishing off Buffer’s announcement The California girls decide not to make their hometown crowd wait any longer. As the fountain finally sinks back to the floor, the champs step out on stage on stage and the raucous cheers reach a deafening level. As red and yellow lights dance across her shiny body, Krista foists her glittering tag team belt high into the air, nodding at the fans and acknowledging their most appreciated support. Alix rocks her body back and forth, pumping her fist in the air, hyping the audience into an even further frenzy, matching the energetic pace of the strobe lights. COACH Oh baby, baby! Despite being in the OAOAST for a little under a year, this is the first time Alix and Krista have ever wrestled as a team in their hometown. The team walks down the ramp, escorted by the noise of the front row fans beating out the tune of their entrance music on the steel barricade, and those in the stands playing it on the backs of the seats. Krista rolls into the ring and heads right to fellow Californian, an envious Ned Blanchard. She shoves the tag team title right into his sneering face while unloading a heap of vulgarities on him. Camera flashes pop across the arena, as everyone seems to want a photographic memory of the night their heroines derailed the runaway train that is the Midnight Express. Alix, clad in her usual hippy attire, scales to the top rope and throws up her trademark peace sign, smiling an adorable smile, and reveling in the largest pop of her young career and possibly the largest pop of the night. COLE Chicks Over Dicks and The Midnight Express weren’t even in the OAOAST last year. They were both part of that influx of tag teams we saw over the spring and the summer. With the glaring exception of the Frankensteiners all those new teams have made a name for themselves in the OAOAST in only about nine or ten months. The music comes to an abrupt end, leaving the feverish crowd to supply the noise. *DING DING DING* We began the contest with Ned Blanchard and Krista Isadora Duncan. Old flames, now burning with bitterest contempt for one another, their unhealthy hatred lending an emotional flair to the title bout. The sell-out crowd is heavily in favor of the hometown champs as “COD” chants parade across the arena. But the two combatants are locked into their own little world, removed from the throng of humanity watching them, each taking a moment to think how they were irreparably wronged by the other. COLE A few short weeks ago, Krista dropped a bombshell on us by revealing Ned to be the father of her child. Now their personal feud comes to a head. Behind the rage tinged blue eyes of Krista, lies some reluctance. The golden haired diva is understandably uncomfortable with locking horns her beloved daughter’s father. Ned senses his ex’s unwillingness to do battle and it melts his cold heart into a weepy, emotionally touched puddle. For the first time in his twenty eight years on this planet, Ned sees himself for what he truly is; a self absorbed, selfish bastard, who’s never done a kind thing for anyone besides the person staring at back at him in the mirror. This realization tears at him, pulls away at the barrier that protects him from the judgement of cruel reality, and leaves him and empty husk of the man he once was. This sudden epiphany marks the death of conceited Ned Blanchard. From it’s still warm corpse, springs forth a man overflowing with positive energy and a passion to right his multitude of wrongs. This new man requests a microphone. NED Krista, honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. You and I have a daughter. A beautiful daughter. And we need to work together to raise her. Fighting each other? That doesn’t help her. So, I want you to pin me so we can get this over with. And hopefully that will go a small way to making things right again. “Are you crazy?” Jim Cornette screams on the outside, eyes wide, practically yanking out all the hair from his scalp. Poor Simon Singleton is barely able to stop himself from fainting. Knees weakened, forehead ransacked by a cold sweat, he gets support from the ring ropes as he views Ned get down on his back. The fans begin to murmur, not having the foggiest idea of what’s transpiring. CABOOSE ?! Krista looks at Alix, who just tells her to do what he says. She stares at Ned with eyebrows raised in understandable skepticism. Ned looks up at her with a sorrowed face and pleading eyes. Wetness from a vague sadness appears in them, as he prays that Krista will help him down his long road to redemption. “Oh all right.” Krista snorts. “I’ll do it for Maya.” Krista pins Ned and referee Clem Boxerfeller, confused as everyone else, makes the pin count. 1 2 FOOLED U MU’FUCKAS!!!111! NED KICKS OUT!!!! Krista lies on the mat giving Ned a virulent stare that contains a lethal dose of her hellish venom. As the crowd bathes him with the most obscene of jeers, Ned runs a deplorable victory lap around the ring. His smile runs as long as the Pacific Coast Highway and the cruelty of his cackling laughter is projected into TV screens across the globe. Jim Cornette smiles thinly, while Simon, his body drenched in sweat despite not even wrestling yet, damns Ned under his breath for nearly giving him a heart attack. COLE Is Ned crazy? Is this man some kind of nut? Ned sports a grin despicable in it’s self satisfaction. Continuing to display the lack of class that has made him one of the most hated fighters in the OAOAST, The Handsome Hustler shoves Krista in the chest. The champ looks back at him in utter shock, unable to fathom how he could be so shallow as to put his daughter through the trauma of watching her parent’s fight. Again Blanchard shoves her, mocking her with needlessly vulgar barbs at the same time. The crowd and Alix, both dying to see Ned get his comeuppance, appeal to her to fight fire with fire. And that’s what she does! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Grabbing a hold of his arm, she violently whips him into the ring ropes. Ned returns and Krista deploys a lariat. As that was the exact move he was expecting to see, Blanchard easily ducks under her arm and keeps on chugging. He comes back at her only to have his stomach collide with her knee. That was unexpected. Doubled over, Ned looks like he’s choking on a chicken bone, every bitch I bone can’t leave the dick alone, so I know it’s one of them every time I flip my phone. Anyway, Krista grabs him in a front face lock and hits him with a DDT, netting a crowd pop in the process. The Handsome Hustler gets onto his knees, appearing slightly dejected over his native town’s dismal show of support. COACH They’re treating Krista and Alix like they’re the Lakers and Ned like he’s the Kings. As in LA Kings. Not Sacramento Kings. COACH Stick to homoerotic innuendo. Ned stands up and immediately locks up with Krista, figuring that the best tactic to winning this match would be to overpower her with his sizeable strength advantage. He hits an arm wringer, getting applause from a few fans that are probably related to him. Krista does her little backflip spot and frees herself from her ex’s clutches. Before Blanchard can react, Krista grabs him into her trademarked headlock, popping the crowd. She tightens the hold, attempting to wear down Ned, still using mostly non lethal moves on her baby’s daddy. CABOOSE Forget about her kid’s feelings, if Krista actually wants to retain the titles, she’ll have to start hitting some serious attacks. Obviously, Ned has no qualms about punishing Krista and counters her semi passive wrestling with an aggressive back suplex. Neddy Bear stands up, towering above Krista, flexing the impressive muscles that were sculpted in the gym’s of Venice. After his lengthy posedown routine reaches a finale, Mister Blanchard hauls Krista to her feet, but not before bashing his unpadded elbow into the back of her skull. The former tag team champion attempts to Irish whip the current tag team champion, but Krista reverses it, pulls Ned in close and wraps on another headlock. The KID-loving fans clap but are starting to hunger for some more fast paced action. COLE Cole’s Bar this Thursday on the OAOAST Network. All new. Don’t miss it! Headlock takedown by Kris? No, Ned blocks it. Headlock takedown by Kris? No, Ned blocks it. Izzy is getting visibly frustrated which brings another smile to Ned’s face. Although her headlock takedown attempts are utter failures, they do manage to inflict slight damage to Ned’s neck. Realizing this Ned puts a stop to her almost unending takedown efforts with one more back suplex! Krista lands on the mat with a hard thud, instantly scowling ferally at Ned, who’s reciting the same “she likes it rough” joke that’s heard in every COD match. “DEADBEAT DAD! DEADBEAT DAD! DEADBEAT DAD!” chant the spectators, no longer showing Ned any native son respect. Upon hearing the spiteful words of the crowd, Blanchard’s mouth contorts into a nasty scowl as he stands Krista up. Taking his irritation with the observers out on his ravishing old flame, he peppers her with ultra quick jabs. The shots cause Krista to tether like a bobble head as Ned comes with them fast and furious. He gives her an Irish whip to the ropes, where Alix Spezia makes a blind tag! The audience puts forth a calvary of cheers. Because he never saw a tag, arrogant Ned foolishly assumes the voices of adulation are reserved for him, sent to carry the chiseled adonis to highest peak of wrestling popularity. “I’M TALKING IN UPPER CASE LETTERS! THAT MEANS I’M MAD!” Alix bellows, still standing on the arpon. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Alix steps onto the black ring ropes and launches herself halfway across the ring to Ned, getting remarkable hangtime. She extends her legs forward and wraps them across Ned’s neck, crossing her ankles to seal her head scissors. Our deluded narcissist cracks a smile of erotic glee as he savors Alix’s scent, as she twists him round and round like a merry go round! Eventually Ned has enough of being spun around and counters her spinning head scissors with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! However, Alix being one of the more agile wrestlers in the OAOAST, counters this by swinging her body out and pulling Ned to the mat with a crossface! As 18,000 thousand of Alix’s fellow Angelinos rise to their feet, she cinches in the Crossface submission hold! COLE Crossface! “TAP! TAP! TAP!” they chant as Ned’s face turns several shades of blue, pain resonating throughout his roided up upper body. “Fight the pain, brother!” Simon implores, his body cocooned by a nervous sweat. Will Ned tap? Will he submit to the slaughterous weapon known as the Crossface? Will Ned throw away a chance to become a two time tag team champion? Will COD pick up a quick victory in their hometown? YES! NED TAPS! NED TAPS! NED TAPS! However, Jimmy Cornette has eighty-eight year-old referee Clem Boxerfeller distracted on the ring apron! Krista sees this, and needless to say she’s overwhelmed by a hot blast of cold anger. She marches over to Corny, who’s desperately pleads his case of innocence. Izzy will hear none of it, already convicting Jim in the court of her opinion. She rears her hand back and lowers her judgement on him by punching him right off the ring apron, popping the crowd! CABOOSE Oh no! Simon, who everyone seems to have forgot is in this match, spots his manager go down and is struck with the desire to defend the wrestling legend’s honor. Still on the apron he heads to Krista with extended arm for a clothesline. Problematically for the mundane grappler, Krista grabs his arm and slams it down across the top rope! Simon howls in sheer torment, feeling like his arm was ran over by an SUV. KID doesn’t have much in the way of sympathy for her enemy and boots him off the apron. Unfortunately Singleton lands on his feet. I say unfortunately because if he dropped to the mat in crumpled heap and played dead like Cornette, Krista may have forgotten about him and moved back to Neddy Bear. But because he chose to stay upright he’s a prime target for more of the yellow haired beauty’s passionate wrath. COLE Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs here. She gets onto the ring apron, smirking at the sight of Cornette’s broken body. She backs away slightly, then charges forward at full speed. As the stands become nothing but a white blob due to the flashbulbs going off, Krista hops off the ring apron and destroys Simon with a shining wizard! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” JIMMY BAUER Shining Wizard DANGER-RUSSSSSS! Back in the ring, Ned has Alix in a setup for a back suplex, making it the third time he’s used that move in the match. But Ally Cat mounts an incredible battle against Ned’s hold and is able to slip out of it, landing behind him. Now, she gets a stunned Ned Man into back suplex position. Neddy Bear comically screams the word no, and motions for a morbidly obese woman in the front row to come and save him as Alix properly hooks in her move. Instead of lifting him and dropping him on his back as is the norm, she spins in front of him and hits him with a lariat takedown! If Ned was a cartoon character I’d imagine we’d see stars and blue birdies circling above his head right now. The hippy trippy honey, still upset about not being boner-fide moviestar, runs to the ropes and cartwheels back at Ned, and hits him with a cartwheel 450 splash! Into a pin of course.... 1 KICK OUT Nobody who isn’t named Simon, Ned or Jim is pleased with the pin count. Alix leaves the booing fans to protest over the call, as she stands Ned up and whips him. Ned hits the ropes and runs back at Alix, extending his left leg into the dreaded yakuza kick at the last minute! Despite the fashionably late arrival of the deadly maneuver, the feisty champion, who’s on a bad acid trip and think she’s wrestling Janis Joplin, is able to avoid it by ducking underneath his leg! She leaps onto his shoulders and snaps him backwards with an inverted hurricanrana, spiking his neck in disgusting fashion into the mat. Even the anti-NNMX fans have to cringe at the horrendous bump Ned’s neck just took. COACH Ouch! Playa, that hurts. Such insightful commentary. Anyway, Alix does more damage to Ned’s neck by serving it a standing shooting star leg drop for an appetizer. For an entree she gives him a heavenly standing moonsault elbow drop. And for the desert she treats it to a devilishly divine standing corckscrew moonsault. Her loyal fans are adoring every last bit of chef Alix’s delightful menu of aerial assault. Ned on the other hand is just about pushed to the brink of puking. COLE Ned likes rap music and water skiing. “YOUR NAME IS NED! YOUR NAME IS NED! YOUR NAME IS NED!” scream the fans, making fun of Ned’s god awful name. “I know my name, thank you!” Ned snaps back, massaging his injured neck. Alix hops back and forth across the ring, apparently playing hop scotch, even though there’s obviously no hopscotch court in the squared circle. Ned gets up, his fragile ego tormented by the crowd’s belittling of his chosen moniker. He and Al meet for a lock up. The reflection of perfection who needs no inspection (trying saying that 80 times fast) shoots behind the glue sniffing lovely for a waist lock. Going for a little R rated wrestling shenanigans, Neddy Bear begins to grind his “Cubby Bear” into Alix’s BUTT. After that lewd display is over, he flings her overhead with a German Suplex! But Alix lands on her feet! She waves to the sold out crowd, who wave back to her, while Ned is once again preoccupied with flexing and showing off his all natural (uh-huh) physique. She jumps into his shoulders, and they both face the gigantic ovaltron. Then she spins around so that she’s facing towards the announce table. Finally she falls backwards and hits her rival with another hurricanrana, again drilling his head against the hard canvas! “NED IS GAY! NED IS GAY!” chant a few bigoted fans, who probably make it a point to steer clear of West Hollywood. “Ask your mom about how gay I really am!!” Ned screams at the top of his lungs, again nursing his neck. “My Mom is dead, you insensitive prick!” a seventeen year old male fan in the front row shouts leading to chants of “Necrophilliac” Figuring it would be best to ignore the LaLa land fans for now, and seek a move to San Diego after the show, Blanchard gets into an upright position. Alix and Ned are now placed face to face. Alix, thinking that’s it’s time let bygones be bygones, offers Ned her hand in plutonic friendship. This confuses just about everyone in the arena. Ned, who’s always wanted a glue sniffing braindead friend, shrugs his shoulders and goes for the handshake. But before he can meet Alix for the sportsmanlike gesture, she pulls her hand away and runs it through her coffee colored hair. Sporting a shameless smirk, she moonwalks backwards. She winds up leaning against the ropes where she grins arrogantly at an annoyed Ned. CABOOSE These actions are uncalled for. Aflame with shame (I do believe that rhymes) Ned whips Alix to the tightly secured ring ropes. Instead of running back at him, like he’d hope, she does the always en vouge handspring back elbow! But The Ned Man is prepared! He foils her back elbow by countering it with a lung blower! Not only does that drain all the air of Alix’s teeny tiny little body but it drains the life out of the jam packed crowd. The bubbly brunette hollers in agony as Ned takes a much needed moment to catch his breath. CABOOSE Smart move by Neddy Bear, grabbing Alix’s chin, the dropping her back onto his knees pressed against his chest. Neddy Bear is all beauty and all brains. Covered in sweat Blanchard stands up, thankful that he’s managed to muzzle the once raucous audience. He fully intends on doing further damage to his much smaller opponent but out of the corner of his eye he spies Simon leaning over the ropes for a tag. Giving his longtime partner a knowing nod, he drags Alix to their corner and they make the tag. The two gladiators discuss what they believe to be brilliant strategy, their lips curving upwards into devious grins. Ned hooks Alix’s legs like he may flip her over for a boston crab, but instead of going for the pedestrian submission move, he flings her at his stringy haired teammate with a sling shot! Simon, chuckling like a maniacal comic book villain, watches a helpless Alix fly towards her doomed fate. He readies his leg then blasts her in the face with a superkick! The revolting sound of his boot smacking against her face is a fitting soundtrack to the gruesome visual of her head snapping back like a pez dispenser. Alix falls backwards, draping herself across Ned’s knees. Not satisfied with the pain inflicted, Simon harshly orders Ned to hold her in place. He hops onto the second rope, and springboards off to crush Alix with a brutal double stomp to the face! As a thunderstorm of boos strikes down on the arena, Ned rushes out of the ring so the ref can count Simon’s pin fall. 1 2 KICK OUT! The crowd noise instantaneously morphs from boos to wild cheers for the pinfall escape. Angry, Corny bashes his racket against the mat as the crowd continues to show their appreciation for their favorite daughter. Ignoring the dueling emotions of his manager and the spectators, Simon grabs a now standing Alix into a full nelson. He yanks her kicking and screaming into the air, where he swings her out into a rock bottom and lands her straight across his knee! Ned Blanchard comes off the top rope with a knee drop onto Alix’s face! A near riot erupts in the stands as the fans will no longer tolerate the Midnight’s abuse of Alix. Some boo, some jeer, some taunt, others make threats on the Midnight’s life. But all are powerless to do anything to help the current tag team champion. Boxerfeller is distracted by Krista Isadora Duncan, who in no uncertain terms is ordering him to get this match under control. Because of this, the heartless fiends that make up the Express are able to have their way with battered Alix. Simon snaps her over, putting her into a sitting position. A glazed over look on her face, she totters back and forth, unable to support her own weight. Smiling, Blanchard and Singleton exchange high fives before Simon kicks her in the face at the same time Ned kicks her in the back of the head. Alix’s emerald colored eyes simply roll into the back of her badly injured head, her expression goes blank, and her body slowly slumps over, drained of whatever life it had left. Ned gets back onto the ring apron as Simon pins Alix. 1 “BOOOOOOO” 2 “BOOOOOOOOO” The ref stops counting. Why? Because Alix’s foot is underneath the ropes that’s why. Cornette is livid, Simon’s in disbelief, Ned has an erection, but rules are rules and neither of the three can do much to change it. Now a man of intelligence would’ve moved Alix away from the ropes and pinned her for an easy victory. But on this night, Simon will not be classified as a man of intelligence. Because instead of pinning her, the South Carolina bred wrestler Irish whips her. Because wrestling logic dictates that she do so, Alix hits the ropes and runs back at him, moving like a zombie on speed. Singleton ducks down for what should be a harmless, easy to execute back body drop. But as he straightens out his not so muscular body and lifts hers into the air, the lovely diva clutches onto his purple his tights for support. With her free arm she hooks in a front face lock, and uses her momentum to twist their bodies around. She then plummets backwards and crunches Simon with a DDT! The audience comes alive seeing renewed hope for the survival of COD’s title reign! CABOOSE Oh no times two! Despite that being only the second offensive move he’s had to endure, Simon inexplicably sells it like he was electrocuted, jerking his body around, flailing his limbs, letting large wads of spit slide of the corner of his mouth. COLE Let’s go Al! With no prompting from Krista, the fans begin to valiantly rally behind their resilient favorite, as she undergoes the exhausting trek to her corner. Krista makes like Gumby, stretching her arm out as far as it can go, a picture of nervousness playing on her features as she’s unsure if Alix’ll be able to reach her in time. The spectators begin doing whatever it takes to give Alix the strength she needs to make the tag. Claping, stomping, and chanting her name, their undivided support is placed in her corner. Drawing from their loyalty, Alix stands up and makes the leaping tag to Krista! COLE Here comes Krista! The SoCal audience blows the roof off the Staples Center with a roaring ovation that welcomes Krista back into the contest! Just as Alix tagged in Krista, Simon tagged in her deadbeat ex-boyfriend, meaning we should have a tense finish to the heated bout. COLE This’ll be good. Ned charges at Krista only to get belted with a spinning wheel kick, that flips him over and crashes him into the mat stomach first. With Ned on the mat whimpering in distress, and the crowd on their feet, not even willing to entertain the thought of sitting back down, Krista decides it would be in her best interest to eliminate Simon. She rushes towards him, unleashing a second shining wizard on him! Simon has no desire to replay the misery the first one caused him, so he ducks Krista’s foot. He lifts his head up, and taps the tip of his scalp with his index finger, letting the crowd know how he intelligent he is. That’s when Krista murders him with a wonderfully vile kick to the back of the head. “YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED!” Simon rolls out of the ring, leaving the match to end just the way it started, with Ned and Krista, the volatile mother/father combo. They exchange furious punches. However Ned’s brute strength isn’t able to overpower Krista’s deep seated passion to end his days. Due to this, she gains the upperhand, delighting the crowd. Ned’s face starts to look like Glass Joe’s a few seconds into the opening round of Punch Out. Sensing the end is near, and title retention is in her grasp, Krista goes behind him and hooks in a tight full nelson for a dragon suplex! Ned screams for help, but when he notices none is forthcoming he powers out of her grip. CABOOSE After tricking him into believing she was on the pill, the least she could do is the job for him. Blanchard, realizes that his title hopes rest on the next few minutes of this match and knows that he must go all out to secure victory. There are orders being screamed at him from Jim Cornette, but they’re inaudible over the downpour of the crowd noise. Blanchard whips Krista into the corner, where her back slams against the poorly padded steel turnbuckles. Gritting his teeth and lowering his head the Ned man charges at the former fitness model with a bronco buster! But the best selling author moves out of the way and Ned’s crown jewels are driven into the aforementioned turnbuckles! “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!” COACH I think there may be something symbolic about that sequence. Krista shows off a vengeful smile as she watches the brush strokes of salty tears paint a picture of misery across Ned’s face. As the fans belt out her name, the thirty two year old warrior exits the ring and scales to the top rope. Camera flashes decorate the state of the art arena as Ned looks pathetically at Krissy with teary eyes, softly begging for some semblance of mercy. Unable to melt her frigid heart, Ned looks on in horror as Krista blows him a sarcastic kiss before jumping off the ropes and striking him with a taste of his own medicine with a barbaric double stomp to the face! The observers go completely ape shit as Ned’s nose starts to gush an insane amount of crimson goo. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” CABOOSE His face looks like a menstrual elephant! Damn it, you harlot! I can’t blame him for dumping you! Haven’t you done enough to him? Apparently not! Paying no attention to Cornette’s desperate offers of lavish wealth if she’ll just let Ned go, Krista hooks Neddy Bear into a front face lock and places him onto the top turnbuckle. Blanchard is woozy, blood sliding from his nostrils all the way down to his toned chest. The fans are still on their feet, snapping pictures of each passing moment. Krista steps out the ring and climbs onto the second rope. Jim thinks about yanking her off but she shoots him a demonic glare that holds him hostage in his tracks. She hooks Ned into a 3/4 facelock, her hands becoming stained with his blood. “This is for Maya, bastard.” Krista mutters as she starts to step onto the third rope. COACH Is she going to do a top rope ace crusher? Whatever it is she has in store, the bloodthirsty fans are avidly awaiting it. However Ned makes them wait a little longer as he starts to shoot hard elbows rapid fire into Kris’ stomach. Unable to defend against them, Krista’s 3/4 facelock is shattered! Her footing on the ropes becomes tenuous at best and it appears to the alarmed crowd she might plummet to the paper thin outside mats. But Ned, wearing the crimson mask, keeps her upright and pulls her onto a fireman’s carry position. Seething with fury, Ned stands up with Krista situated on his broad shoulders. “BOOOOOOO!” COLE No! No! He won’t! That’s your baby’s mama! Stunning the thousands in the arena and millions watching on television at home, Ned jumps off the top rope. In mid flight he releases Krista’s legs and throws them infront of her body. He moves her head into a front facelock as they fall to the mat and her head is driven with repulsing but effective force into the canvas! COACH Fireman’s carry ddt! JIMMY BAUER DANGER-RUSSSSSSS! The audience has no clue as of what to make of this sudden and unexpected reversal of fortune. They scream as loud as humanly possible, urging their fallen heroine to rise to her feet and slay the traitorous villain. Ned, assaulted by a fiendish headache, spits out a tooth loosened from the double stomp Krista levied against him. He takes a deep breath, then exerts the last of his strength by pinning Krista. 1 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 2 “KRISTA! KRISTA!” 3!!!!! *DING DING DING* “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” “YES! YES! YES!” hollers a jubilant Jim Cornette who’s jumping up and down like he equates winning the tag team titles with winning a two hundred five million dollar lottery. BUFFER Your winners and new tag team champions......THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! It would be a bit of an understatement to say the crowd isn’t exactly pleased with the outcome. Outright irate and feeling ripped off by the company, they drench the ring in a torrent of debris, beer bottles, vicious jeers and galled taunts. The only thing that keeps this from degenerating into sheer anarchy is that the person got the pinfall is from LA. CABOOSE I don’t get it. Ned’s from LA. A hometown boy won the match, these people should be overjoyed! Plus he struck a mortal blow against dead beat moms. One person who is overjoyed is Simon Singleton who walks up the ramp with his head held as high as his share of the tag team titles. Nearby fans douse him in warm beer and freezing soda, as security has extreme trouble in quelling their boiled over anger. Using his neon green sports coat as an umbrealla against the rain of alcohol and carbonated soft drinks, Jim Cornette trots after Simon. He’s trailed by Ned Blanchard, the white towel covering his face turned a bright red by the constant stream of blood flowing from his nose. COLE The Midnight Express have done it, becoming two time tag team champions after suffering a huge blow last month in a loss to the Heavenly Rockers. Dejected over the heart breaking knowledge that they’ve just competed in their last tag title match for some time, Alix and Krista hop over the barricade and exit slowly through the stands. They’re consoled by the groups of equally disappointed fans they pass, as they journey up the stairs and out of view of the cameras. Cole: Lets break away from the action momentarily and send it over to Mean Gene at OAOAST Hotline Central...take it away Gene! *cameras show a bunch of people sitting at a long table with phones in front of them. Standing in front of all that is Mean Gene with microphone in hand* Mean Gene: Thank you guys and to all the fans out there, do I have a scoop for you. Call now to find out which OAOAST SuperStar has signed on to an edorsement deal with Elmer's Glue! Also I have a juicy tidbit that's just in the works. A former OAOAST X-Title holder makes their full time return to the ring this week on HeldDown, who is it? You'll just have to call and find out! *Mean Gene flashes a smile as the phones start ringing off the hook. Suddenly the fans cheer as James Allen (formerly The Superstar) makes his way over to Mean Gene* James: Hey Gene, are you talking about me there? I have a match this week on HeldDown and I am a former X-Title holder so I was just guessing you were talking about me... *Mean Gene's smile quickly turns upside down as the phones stop ringing. Gene drops the mic and just walks away throwing his hands up into the air and mumbling about how James ruined his chances at buying that new boat. James picks up the mic and looks into the camera* James: And remember to catch "House of Fire" at your local theater this summer! *James strikes an action pose from his film and then smiles at the camera and gives a cocky nod. From there we're taken back over to Triple-C at Sofa Central* Cole: Well...that was interesting. Anyway, a battle between two OAOAST LEGENDS is coming up next! Edited April 25, 2005 by NY Untouchable Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 Two men who were once friends… ::THE TV IMAGE GOES GRAINY: The following ad has been paid for by the aWo: CWM: Man did you guys watch Intensezone on Monday? SOME GUY: You mean IntenselyGayZone? CWM: Yeah Some Guy: No I don’t watch shit like that Angle-Plex: IntenselyGayZone is pathetic HeldDOWN is 10x better Big: HeldDOWN features the STRUT All the aWo: HeldDOWN 4 EVA~! The Preceding Commercial Has Been Paid for By The aWo.:: Now bitter enemies… :: CWM, this Sunday at Living Angleously I want my revenge! CWM this Sunday in Los Angeles I want my pride back. This Sunday I want you in the ring! This Sunday I promise you, David that I will be the LAST MAN STANDING! CWM walks through the curtain and stops at the top of the ramp. SG: Come on MOTHERFUCKER! CWM just smirks and walks away.:: Two men who were once like brothers… :: The aWo Porno blares and the screen goes red, white, and blue as the aWo tag team of CobainWasMurdered and Some Guy come Strutting! Out. The crowd stands and cheers as they make their way to the ring. Gary: Their opponents, representing the aWo, the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions Some Guy & CobainWasMurdered -- the aWo 4 eva! (Big pop):: Now are a bitterly divided family… :: CWM rolls around on the mat, clutching his back, and now Caboose, Some Guy, and Zack all stand in position, eyeing him... ...and Some Guy, Caboose and Zack start warming up the band! COLE What the... The fans stomp and clap, as the three heroes stomp their feet, watching the grunge superstar drag his carcass back up. He turns to them, and his jaw drops as they all move forward... TRIPLE SCHOOL'S OUT TO CWM! MALIBU COVERS! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING!:: Two men who were once partners in crime… :: CWM comes from nowhere and hits a POLLYcutter on risk, rolling him out of the ring. SG sees his opportunity, and picks up BPC. SOMEDRIVER! The ref counts…1…2…3! Winners: CWM/Some Guy in 12:15, and still Tag Team champions:: Now wish to commit unspeakable crimes on one another. Both men return to singles action on PPV tonight to punish one another for their sins. One man seeks retribution for a friend's betrayal… :: CWM wastes no time though and quickly goes after the injured leg, grabbing it and viciously wrenching it as Some Guy screams in agony. Caboose God Damnit! That S.O.B. is going to end Some Guy's career! Coach What are you talking about? Some Guy ain't beat yet yo. Caboose You idiot, the reason Some Guy disappeared for so long was because he had to have major reconstructive surgery on his knee! He only told myself, Zack, and CWM and now that crazy Canuck is exploiting SG's trust!:: One man seeks to fulfill his egomaniacal destiny… :: FINK Ladies and gentleman...due to outside interference, your winner, and NEW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...COBAINWASMURDERED!!!:: Both men will to risk life and limb to take each other out. Tonight there will only be one survivor. Tonight at Living Angleousely that survivor will be the Last Man Standing. ::Ding. Ding. Ding:: Buffer: Ladies and Gentleman: It is now time for the Last Man Standing match. ::Crowd pops:: The rules of this match are as follows: There are no disqualifications, no pinfalls, no submissions, and no countouts and there is no time limit. The only way to win this match is to incapacitate you're opponent in the ring to the point where he can not get to his feet before the referee reaches the count of ten. Are you ready? ARE YOU REAAAADY? For the thousand in attendance an the millions watching around the world on Pay Per View: Ladies and Gentlemen: MAN YOU BATTLE STATIONS! The arena fades to black as "You Know You're Right" By Nirvana hits causing the crowd to erupt into a chorus of boos as a cloud of mist fills the fills the entrance way. The strains of Nirvana's hit song blare out: "I would never bother you I would never promise to I will never follow you I will never bother you Never say a word again I will crawl away for good" The mist fades away revealing CWM who then confidently strides to the ring wearing a classic aWo shirt to mock his opponent and former partner and torn jeans. To add further insult CWM throws up the aWo 4-EVA~! hand gesture as the crowd showers him with more boos. Buffer: Making his way to the ring from Abbotsford, Bristish Colombia, Canada weighing in tonight at 245 and 1/4 pounds a former OAOAST World Champion: C W MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm! The mention of this hated villain's name sends the already rabid crowd into a frenzy. CWM climbs the ring steps and steps through the ropes enjoying every second of the crowd's venom before sitting down in the corner to await his opponent. "Sexy Boy" blasts out over the PA system and Some Guy steps through the curtain wearing his traditional red, white, and blue singlet and 2004 World Series Champion Red Sox cap to a big pop. Buffer: Ladies and Gentlemen: Coming now ring from Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing at 245 and 1/2 pounds SOME GUUUUUUUUUUY! SG uncharacteristically doesn't play to the crowd, he just walks down to the ring wearing a large brace on his left knee and slightly limping. The look on his face is that of intense anger but the sadness of a friend's betrayal lies just below the surface. Caboose: I've known Some Guy for a long time and I've never seen him this way. I've seen him mad before but he's livid right now. SG tosses hit cap into the crowd, enters the ring and gets right in CWM's face. Both men stand nose to nose. The hatred is palpable and is felt by every person watching. ::Bell rings:: Caboose: Alright Some Guy, kick his arse! CWM pushes Some Guy back and Some Guy returns the favor. The two wrestlers tentatively circle one another looking for an opportunity to strike. Cole: Some Guy is standing as though he's left-handed and I know he's not. I have to think it's because he doesn't want to lead in with his bad left knee. Caboose: Since when do you notice things like that? CWM and Some guy continue circling one another as the crowd noise continues to build before: :WHACK:: Coach: SOMEKICK! Some Guy hit the Somekick out of nowhere! Caboose: YEAH! Cole: This might be over right now! SG then pounces out on CWM, refusing to allow the ref to count and starts bludgeoning CWM's face with rights and lefts as the crowd goes crazy. Some Guy stops after about 20 punched and picks up the already battered CWM. Caboose: I think Some Guy realizes that he needs to keep his cool a little if he wants to beat CWM in this type of match. And he's going to slow his pace down. Some guy grabs CWM by the hair and kicks him in the mid section to double him over. SG, while still holding CWM's hair with his left hand drills CWM in the back of the neck with a hard elbow and another and another. Cole: Some Guy won't let CWM fall. He's holding up so he can punish him more. SG whips CWM into the ropes and catches him on rebound with a belly-to-belly suplex. Some guy drops a leg across CWM's throat and then picks up his traitorous former friend. Coach: After the beating Some Guy received on HeldDOWN! a few weeks ago I never would have expected him to be able to control CWM so easily right off the bat. SG lays in a few Vader style punches to the side of the head. Caboose: Now that he has his emotions under control watch SG go to work now. All of his offense will be to the neck. See how he punches CWM in the side of the head to cause his neck to snap sideways? He's out to cripple CWM tonight and I'm loving every minute of it! Some Guy then hooks CWM in a front face lock and takes him up and over with a vertical suplex and follows hit with a stiff kick to the side of the head that further rattles CWM's brain. SG picks him up and delivers a vicious backdrop driver. Cole: Jesus! SG is going to kill him before CWM can even get a punch in. SG picks up the limp CWM and drags him over to the ropes. SG then puts CWM's head between his legs as the crowd starts to shake the building. Coach: He's going to powerbomb him over the toprope! Caboose: DO IT! DO IT! KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH! Some Guy lifts CWM and gets him to his shoulders before CWM slips out, grabs SG's head and drives him throat first onto the top rope sending SG hurling backwards and down to mat as CWM falls feet first to the floor. Cole: What a great desperation counter by CWM! With both men down the ref begins the first 10 count of the match and he crowd counts along. One! Two! Three! Four! SG starts to get up as CWM drags himself up from the floor using the bottom rope. Five! SG runs at CWM and attempts a baseball slide but CWM moves out of the way, grabs Some Guy's leg and hit a dragon screw whipping SG off the apron and to the floor by his left leg! SG lies on the floor grabbing his knee and is in severe pain. Cole: CWM caught SG's bad leg and may have ripped it apart! CWM gathers himself for a second holding his neck, he looks at SG holding his knee and a devious smile forms on CWM's scarred face. CWM proceeds to stomp SG's knee three times before throwing him into the ring. Cole: CWM knows that Some Guy can't win this match if he can't stand. Caboose: Hence "Last Man Standing," douchebag. Coach: YO! SG pulls himself up to his feet as CWM walks towards him SG attempts a Somekick, but CWM catches his foot and spins him around. CWM immediately tries to hit a Pollcutter only to pushed off into the ropes. SG attempts another Somkick but this time CWM ducks and chop blocks Some Guy's leg right out from under him.. SG crashes to the mat in agony. CWM grabs SG's leg and pound on his knee with a few punches before hitting a Hennig knee breaker followed up by slamming SG's leg onto the mat. CWM drops an elbow across SG's chest to keep him down and then drops another one across Some Guy's leg. SG screams out in pain as CWM continues to gleefully tear apart his left knee. CWM picks SG up and whips him into the ropes; SG hits the ropes and rebound right into a CWM dropkick to SG 's heavily braced knee. CWM looks to the crowd, soaking in the boos and signals that the match is over. CWM grabs Some Guy's leg and begins to apply the Insecticide Lock. SG kicks CWM in the face twice to prevent being subjected to the torture of CWM's Sharpshooter variation. CWM's head snaps back after the second kick and blood begins trickling from his nose. Cole: I think Some Guy just broke CWM's nose when he countered out of the Insecticide Lock! SG tries to capitalize on his lucky break but CWM immediately cuts him off with a series of unanswered chops that knock the wind out the already injured Some Guy. CWM hooks SG in a front face lock and grabs his leg. Cole: CWM is going for a fisherman's buster! He's going to knock Some Guy out! CWM lifts Some Guy and in one fluid motion drops his opponent straight down on his head. Coach: Some Guy is down. He's knocked out and his leg is already so injured that he can barely stand. For the second time in this encounter the ref begins a ten count as CWM leans on the turnbuckles. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Some Guy turns over to his stomach and starts to get up and CWM, seeing that match is not over runs at SG and drops an elbow to keep him down. CWM grabs SG's left leg and applies a single leg Boston Crab. Coach: I bet that Some Guy will know how to get out of this move because he's from Boston. Caboose: Shut up, Coach! Come on Some Guy! After nearly a minute of having his leg twisted in ways Mother Nature never intended SG begins the long and painful crawl to the ropes. SG slowly drags himself and CWM to the ropes and finally grabs the bottom strand forcing the ref to break the hold. But CWM won't let go and yells out, "There are no DQs and I ain't letting go!" The ref has no choice but to allow the punishing hold to continue. SG is screaming in pain but manages to reach back, grab CWM's leg and pull it out from under him. Cole: Some Guy broke the hold! CWM gets to his feet, picks up SG and starts to whip him into the corner but SG counters and sends CWM crashing into the unforgiving turnbuckles shaking the ring. SG, with a sudden burst of energy charges at CWM and leaps at him attempting a Stinger Splash. CWM takes one step forward, catches SG around his waist and hot shots him on the top turnbuckle. Some Guy's head snaps back violently and he crashes down to the mat. Caboose: As much as I hate the piece of garbage, I have to give credit where it's due. CWM is wrestling a very smart match and doing a great job of controlling the action. SG lays on the mat as the ref begins the third 10 count of the match. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Some Guy starts to stir and slowly get to his feet. Seven. Eight. Some Guy gets to his feet and is met with a clothesline sending him crashing back to the mat. Coach: Some Guy got up but CWM was right on him the second he did. The ref begins yet another 10 count. One. Two. Three. Four. Cole: CWM knows what he's doing, he's sitting back and forcing Some Guy to expend the energy necessary to stand and is waiting to pounce. Five. Six. Seven. Some Guy turns over and gets to one knee as CWM watches on. Eight. Nine. SG gets to his feet. CWM charge at him going for another clothesline but SG ducks, hooks CWM's arm, floats around to his back and slaps on a full nelson. Caboose: Get him down! Put it on him! SG jerks CWM sideways and takes him to the mat all the while still holding the full nelson. SG sits down on CWM's back and pulls back with all his might trying to incapacitate CWM with Ne-Han. Cole: SOMEMISSION! Some Guy got the Somemission! Coach: How did he do that? Some Guy leans back trying to rip his rival's arms off and push his head off his shoulders. CWM is obviously in pain but he refuses to show it and has a smile on his face. Cole: He's smiling? How can any human being smile while they're in a hold like the Somemission? Caboose: Because he's a sick son of a bitch. CWM is shaking around trying to find a means of escape but with every movement SG tightens the hold. Cole: Caboose you are a former 2 time OAOAST World Champion, how would you go about escaping this hold? Caboose: The only way to escape is to not get in it. Anglesault was forced to tap to the Somemission two years ago on PPV, that hold is deadly. As SG leans forward to build momentum to pull the hold back even harder CWM somehow manages to stick his thumb in Some Guy's eye. SG is forced to break the hold as he grabs at his eye. Coach: No matter how big or tough you are a thumb to the eyes hurts just the same. Caboose: Thanks for those words of wisdom. Why are you employed here? After Some Guy releases the hold CWM's face hits the mat and he lies there motionless. SG stands up noticeably favoring his left knee and drives his forearm into CWM's neck. Cole: You had to know that if he was given the chance SG would go right back to his strengths. SG whips CWM into the ropes but CWM counters. On the rebound SG slides through CWM's legs and trips him on the way through slamming CWM face first to the mat. Some Guy grabs CWM's legs and cinches him up. SG lets out a primal scream as he pulls CWM up and over his head with a Wheelbarrow Someplex. SG rolls through and hits another. Some Guy rolls over again and hits a third, releasing CWM and folding him up like an accordion. Cole: The Rolling Wheelbarrow Someplexes~! Some Guy has to capitalize but I'm not sure he can! Some Guy slowly gets to his feet and limps over to the corner. Caboose: Are you crazy? Don't go to the top! SG slowly climbs the turnbuckles once he reaches the top he leaps off and delivers an elbow drop. But CWM moved out of the way! Cole: He missed! He missed the elbow! CWM moved! But both men are still down! The ref begins to count and the crowd counts along while cheering on Some Guy. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. CWM starts to get up. Eight. Some Guy starts to stir. Nine. CWM is back on his feet. Caboose: Come on SG! Get up! Te…. SG manages to get to his feet at the last possible second but can barely stand. CWM runs at SG with a clotheline. Ducked by SG who tries to hook on another full nelson. CWM spins through it and grabs SG by the leg. CWM lifts SG up and drops his leg down across CWM's with an atomic knee breaker. Cole: Every chance he gets CWM goes straight for the knee. There is no way Some Guy can win this match. CWM whips Some Guy into the turnbuckles, SG stumbles and crashes face first into the top turnbuckles and falls backwards. CWM sees his opportunity and climbs out of the ring. Coach: Where is he going? CWM staggers over to the corner SG is in and grabs his legs, pulling him crotch first right into the steel ring post. Cole: Somebody stop this! CWM takes one of SG's legs and crosses it over the other before CWM drapes one of his legs over SG's and applying a ring post figure four! Caboose: I have to stop this! Cole: You know you can't get involved in a match like this. If you do Some Guy will try to kill you. He said he wants this match to be one-on-one. Some Guy is screaming in agony as CWM continues to apply the pressure. Cole: CWM isn't even trying to win this match! He's trying to permanently disable Some Guy. After three excruciating minutes the ref forces CWM off of Some Guy and starts to call for the bell. Some Guy yells out, "if you stop this match I will kill you!" Caboose gets up and runs to ring side. "Just quit now before you can't ever walk again, this isn't worth it." SG pushes Caboose away while cursing at him and tries to climb in the ring where CWM is laughing at him. CWM grabs SG and goes for another whip into the buckles but SG reverses sending CWM hard into the buckles. Cole: Where did he get that energy from? Caboose (now returned to Sofa Central): Because he is fueled by hatred. CWM stands in the corner, leaning on the turnbuckle dazed as blood flows from his nose. SG charges at him and goes for another Stinger splash. CWM moves forward and hot shots him down again. Caboose: Not again. CWM collapses to the canvas as SG leans slumped over in the corner. Cole: Lets see that on replay. Caboose: SG blocked it! He got his arm down to block the turnbuckle! SG holding himself up by the ropes slowly lifts his foot and drops it to the mat. SG lifts his foot again and drops it again. Cole: He's tuning up the band! CWM slowly gets to his feet as Some Guy with a burst of adrenaline cracks him in the face with a Somekick that sends CWM straight onto his back next to the ropes. Cole: Somekick! Some Guy hit the Somekick again! Caboose: Now get up Some Guy! You've got him beat! Coach: YO~! The ref begins another ten count. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Cole: Neither man is moving! Seven. The crowd starts to chant "Some Guy Some Guy Some Guy" Eight. SG starts to get up. Cole: Some Guy is going to win this match. I don't believe it. Nine. CWM grabs the ropes and starts to pull himself up as Some Guy tries to stand… Cole: Some Guy is up he's won the match! …and collapses back to the mat! Cole: His knee gave out on him! Caboose: OH SHIT! CWM pulls himself to his feet just before the ref counts to ten. ::Bell rings:: CWM falls back to the mat exhausted. Buffer: The winner of this match C W MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! CWM manages to raise one arm in victory as his trademark smirk forms on his face. Cole: Some Guy gave it the fight of his life but CWM wore him down so much that he couldn’t stand up. CWM rolls out of the ring and starts to stumble back to the locker room. Caboose leaves Sofa Central~! and heads down to the ring to help his friend. Caboose leans down and picks up Some Guy to a massive pop from the crowd! Caboose holds up Some Guy, but SG tells him that he's ok. Caboose lets him go and SG nearly falls to the mat but catches himself before he drops. Coach: What a match! Some Guy stands in the ring a beaten man as the crowd starts to cheer wildly for him. Tears begin to swell up in Some Guy's eyes as his mouths, "I'm sorry" to the crowd. Cole: Some Guy has nothing to be sorry for. He gave CWM the fight of his and came back from the relentless onslaught numerous times. He truly deserves this standing ovation. Some Guy said he wanted his pride back and if he isn't then he damn sure should be proud of his performance tonight. Some Guy hops to the ropes and rolls out of the ring, once again refusing Caboose's help as well as help from the officials. As the ovation continues Some Guy limps back to the locker room. Caboose heads back over to Sofa Central and puts on his headset: That was one of the ballsiest performances I've ever seen. Some Guy can now stand tall again. Coach: Yeah, he might be able to stand tall, but will he ever walk tall again? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 COLE Coming up next is the number one contender match between “The Future” Hoff and “The Female Phenom” Crystal. CABOOSE Match? Yeah right! It’ll be a good fashion squashing because with Hoff’s knee the shape it’s in right now, there is no way he’s going to win this. COACH While I think Hoff will put up a good fight, ‘Boose has a good point. Crystal and Hoff did a number on that knee, and with Hoff’s past troubles with knee injuries… COLE Let’s take you back to last week on HeldDown, where Hoff and Crystal’s war of words from previous weeks turned ugly. JACKIE Aww, Hoff, that was so sweet of you. Hoff turns to Jackie, putting a hand on her waist. HOFF Well, you know, Jackie...I can be VERY sweet...but I can also be.... Hoff runs a hand down Jackie's cheek. HOFF Rough... Jackie SWOONS~ JACKIE Hoff...I'd really like to-- AIEEEEEE!! Miss Jackie squeals as GUNNER SHARPS, bad ankle and all, clips Hoff from behind, interrupting the mindless flirting! Crystal is right behind chair in hand. She rams the chair in Hoff’s knee a couple of times before getting down to Hoff’s level and screaming in his face CRYSTAL I always live up to my promises Hoff! She grabs the chair and wraps in around Hoff’s once injured knee and stomps on it until Hoff is screaming in pain. CRYSTAL Don’t you understand Hoff? You can have your pride and appreciation from the fans, but I’ll keep my intelligence and success! Officials come in and surround Hoff, keeping away Crystal and Gunner from him. As Hoff screams in pain, Crystal and Gunner laugh while walking away. HOFF That little.... “Plug In Baby” cues up and so does the round of jeers that seemingly go hand in hand with the Muse hit now a days. Crystal and Gunner emerge from the leftover smoke of the pyro, laughing at the footage they just saw. They make their way in the ring, but not before making fun of some poor sap that has a “Hoff Rules!” sign in the front row. CABOOSE You have GOT to love that confidence of a champion she has! COLE Well I’d be pretty confident if I had to be facing an essentially one legged man too! COACH Really? COLE (awkward pause) Okay, maybe not. But you get the point! “Weighing tonight at 150 lbs, hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, accompanied tonight by Gunner Sharps, she is a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, she is CRYSTAL!” Crystal poses and points to her waist, yelling the title is “coming back home”. The change in music shuts her up though as “Plug in Baby” stops playing and the arena goes silent. Strobe lights flash through the arena and the crowd buzzes in anticipation. “The Clincher” by Chevelle starts playing and as the silver fireworks explode, so does the crowd! “HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!” COLE I don’t know what’s louder, the music or the chants! COACH What?!? I can’t hear you! A spotlight shines on the stage and shines of what many consider the future of the OAOAST. Hoff stares out at the crowd as they are rabid for him. He looks down to the ring to a sneering Crystal and Gunner. “Weighing in at 275 lbs, he hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota and is also a former OAOAST Heavyweight champion. He is the Future; he is HOFF! The crowd continues cheering as Hoff makes his way to the ring, favouring his injured knee. Crystal openly laughs at him from the ring, mocking his limp. Hoff gets just before the ring when Crystal grabs the announcer and takes the microphone from him. CRYSTAL Just quit now Hoff! Just stay right where you are for 10 seconds, let the referee count you out and raise my hand in victory. Seriously, you can barely walk! What makes you think you can beat me? The crowd boos Crystal but slightly pop when Hoff gets in the ring, ignoring Crystal’s helpful suggestion. CRYSTAL You can’t be serious! You do realize that if decide to go through with this match, I’ll cripple you for life, right? Just go limp to the back and tuck your tail in between your legs like the little coward I know you—OOF! Crystal’s little tirade is cutoff with a huge clothesline, courtesy of Hoff! Gunner attempts to retaliate on her behalf, but Hoff ducks and clotheslines him out of the ring! DING! DING! DING! CABOOSE I cannot believe that Hoff would stoop so low as to cheap shot Crystal before the bell would even ring! COLE I’m pretty sure Crystal stooped a tiny bit lower on HeldDown. Hoff goes after Crystal again, but she manages to slip out of the ring and stare up at Hoff with an almost comical wide-eyed look. Hoff just smirks down at her and invites her back in the ring. With a sneer, Crystal slips in. The two lock up and Hoff gets advantage with his much bigger size, obviously. Crystal pushes him off with all her might and Hoff bounces back with a huge shoulder block! With a little limp, he runs the ropes and goes for a elbow drop. Crystal moves out of the way and tries one of her own, but misses as well. Both are up and Hoff grabs Crystal in a headlock and does a take over. Crystal tries to headscissor her way out, but Hoff just pushes her legs back and keeps steady. Crystal tries again, but only for the same thing to happen. One more time, but still, the same. Crystal bangs her fist in frustration while Hoff just smirks at her fury. COLE Pretty smart strategy by Hoff so far, staying off his feet and making the quicker Crystal do the same. Crystal rolls a bit and ends up on her knees. She brings her right leg up and kicks Hoff in the jaw, forcing him to break. CABOOSE What flexibility! Crystal runs the ropes to get some momentum, only to run into another headlock take over! She screams in frustration as Hoff winces at the shriek in his ear. She manages to get to her feet quicker than last time, but Hoff is relentless with his grip. Crystal tries to wiggle free, but Hoff just readjusts his grip to a front face lock. He lifts her up for a vertical suplex, but Crystal escapes from behind and lands on her feet. She pushes Hoff forward toward the turnbuckle and he hits hard, stumbling back. Crystal rolls him up for the first pin of the match, but Hoff kicks out hard at 1. Crystal stumbles herself from the power of Hoff and runs into the rope. She rebounds and goes for a low dropkick, but Hoff moves last second. Crystal gets up quickly only to walk into, you guessed it, a headlock takeover! COACH It must be extremely frustrating for a wrestler to be beat on the mat when that’s their strength. COLE And if that wasn’t obvious enough, just look at Crystal’s temper tantrum! Indeed, Crystal is having a mini-fit in the ring. Crystal finally gets a headscissors counter though, luckily for her. She squeezes as hard as she can, but it doesn’t seem to have to much of an affect of Hoff. He gets in position and headstands his way out of the move. They both get up and Crystal looks at Hoff in disbelief that he’s out-matwrestling her. Why she’s so shocked, who knows, but she’s shocked! COLE You’ve got to wonder: why didn’t Crystal go after the knee since the opening bell? CABOOSE Because she’s such a great wrestler, she really doesn’t have to. Crystal can beat him with just about anything. COLE Well, right now the "great wrestler" is getting taken to school! Crystal comes at Hoff, feigning to tie-up, and Hoff lunges in. Nimbly, Crystal steps aside and grabs Hoff's left arm, twisting it back into a hammerlock. after just a second, though, Hoff reverses the move, then trips Crystal from behind, sending her down! Hoff pounces, capitalizing with a side headlock, keeping the Female Phenom on the mat. Crystal again fights up until both competitors are on their knees, then sweeps Hoff's leg out from underneath him, sending the big man flat on his back! Crystal grabs Hoff's leg as he falls and stands up, but Hoff pulls his leg in and catches her with a small package! ONE, TWO, and Crystal kicks out before the three! Hoff is up first, and Crystal looks up at him in disbelief -- then rolls out of the ring!! CABOOSE There you go, girl. Just take a minute to think it over. COACH Hoff is wrestling like it ain't NO ONE'S BID-NAZ~! HOLLA!! CABOOSE If I hear you say "holla" just ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to strangle you with your headphone cord. COACH Don't hate, playa! The FANS are not hatin'; in fact, they can't get enough as Hoff hops onto the ropes and pumps his fist into the sky. The familiar "HOFF" chant echoes as Crystal, looking up from the outside, consults with her consort, Gunner Sharps. COLE I don't like what they're planning. CABOOSE You don't KNOW what they're planning! COLE I know, but I don't like it! Crystal whispers something in Gunner's ear, and the big seven-footer nods. Crystal slides back in the ring, where Hoff stands, smirking, "checking his watch" in pantomime. The fans cheer, but Crystal shrugs it off, asking for...a test of strength? COACH Holla? I MEAN-- *grlrlrhrglgh* Hoff looks at Crystal, unsure just WHY his much smaller foe would do this. He cocks his head, stroking his goatee...then turns to the FANS and shrugs, and of course they cheer. At this point, if Hoff dropped trou in the middle of the ring and pinched a loaf, the fans would probably cheer and buy his T-shirts. COLE Crystal taking an...unconventional approach here, asking the powerhouse Hoff for a test of strength...what could she be thinking? Crystal looks at Hoff with a wicked grin and nods, BEGGING the big man to lock hands. Hoff takes a step forward, and-- GUNNER "HEY HOFF, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" The fans BOO as Gunner Sharps, on the outside, has walked to near Hoff's position and began to run his mouth. Hoff turns away from Crystal completely, taking a step toward the ropes and firing back. The two continue their verbal exchange, until a STIFF kick from Crystal to Hoff's right knee sends the fan favorite down! The fans are IRATE as Crystal laughs, then begins stomping at the knee! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What a devious scheme by Crystal and Gunner Sharps! I mean, come on, this isn't right! CABOOSE Ha, I love it. Crystal totally threw the lummox off his game by asking for the test of strength, which left him open to Gunner's undoubtedly cutting remarks, which left Hoff wide open for the kill. Hoff cringes and holds his knee, but Crystal swats his hands away before grabbing the right leg by the ankle and driving a HARD snap kick to the joint! Hoff howls in pain, prompting Crystal to try the move one more time. Crystal laughs as Hoff rolls onto his side, trying to protect the injured knee as much as possible. Crystal, ever the opportunist, stomps at Hoff's broad back instead, and Hoff rolls back onto his...well, back. COACH Back back back back back. CABOOSE Quiet, you. Crystal grabs Hoff's right leg once again, and this time drops her elbow across the joint. Hoff screams bloody murder as Crystal gets up and repeats the manuever, causing even more damage to the injured leg. COLE Remember, folks, this is the same knee that Hoff had surgically repaired last fall, and the same knee that Crystal and Gunner targeted just three days ago! Hoff, by his own admission, said that his knee is probably not near 100% tonight! Crystal grabs the right let AGAIN and gets a firm hold of it, then turns Hoff over with a single-leg Boston Crab! The pain sends the big man into a frenzy, but he quickly reaches the ropes. Referee Charles Robinson calls for the break, but Crystal is a HEEL and waits until Robinson hits "4" to let go. CABOOSE Now before you say anything, Cole, that's completely legal. That's why they give the five-count. COLE It's still not ethical! Crystal walks away from Hoff's fallen form, holding her arms out to the side and smirking, drawing the ire of the Los Angeles crowd. The "Crown Jewel" bows deeply and grandly, infuriating the crowd...but the boos turn to CHEERS as Hoff HOPS TO HIS FEET!! COLE What the hell?! Crystal, mistakenly thinking the applause is for her, smiles and holds her hand to her chest, mocking the fans. However, the cheers swell as Hoff kicks out his right knee and smirks, motioning for Crystal to turn around. Gunner, on the outside, SCREAMS for Crystal to get out of harms' way, but she can't hear him over the roar of the crowd! Slowly, confidently, Crystal turns around....INTO A HUGE RIGHT HAND!! The fans EXPLODE as Hoff catches fire, laying in shot after shot to Crystal's temple, sending her reeling into the ropes! Hoff grabs Crystal and whips her into the far side, and Crystal runs out, into a HIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH back bodydrop from the big man!! Crystal lands hard, favoring her tailbone, but she gets up and turns around, and an EXPLOSIVE right hand sends her down! Crystal hops back up, and Hoff sends her RIGHT BACK DOWN! Crystal hops up a third time, turns to face Hoff, and the big man plants a HUGE dropkick that sends her down to the mat and rolling out of the ring! Hoff KIPS UP for the first time ever, giving the LA crowd something to remember, and throws his fist up into the air, yelling and screaming and FIRING UP the fans! The audience cheers its lungs out, loving every minute of the assault. Meanwhile, Gunner Sharps runs over to calm his lady down. CABOOSE Now WAIT just a damn minute! Hoff said earlier that his knee wasn't at 100%, and that he knew it'd be a factor! He's been favoring it all match! I mean, he...he's not that smart, is he? COLE I think he is! I think he's been playing possum all along! And he suckered Crystal right in! And-- OHMIGOD! Cole and the fans scream as Hoff FLIES over the top rope with a diving cross-body, looking for both Crystal and Gunner! Crystal, though, sees it coming and darts away, leaving Gunner all alone! Hoff CRASHES onto Gunner, flooring the giant. Hoff gets up and shrugs, smiling, apparently pleased to get someone. Hoff turns around -- and Crystal hits him with a BLISTERING knife-edge chop! "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" Crystal rears back, and chops Hoff again! "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hoff stumbles back, and Crystal moves in, grabbing him by the arm and whipping him toward the steel ringpost, but Hoff reverses the momentum! Crystal, though, puts on the brakes cleverly by grabbing the ring apron -- but Hoff pulls her in and FLOORS her with a short-arm clothesline! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" Hoff slaps a few hands at ringside before rolling Crystal into the squared circle. Hoff follows her in, pulling her up by her long, blonde hair. Hoff grabs Crystal and drives a knee into her midsection, doubling her over and putting her in prime position for a swinging neckbreaker! Hoff hits the move and floats into the cover, but it only gets two as Crystal kicks out! COLE Hoff is in the driver's seat! Hoff gets to his feet, then pulls Crystal to hers. The fans cheer as Hoff whips Crystal into the ropes, but Crystal launches herself into the air for a cross body block! Crystal hits Hoff...but the big man CATCHES her to the delight of the crowd! With a smile, Hoff drops Crystal across his knee with a rib breaker! Crystal lies on the canvas, prone, and Hoff capitalizes with a LEGDROP--NO!! Crystal moves out of the way, and Hoff lands on his backside, wincing in pain! COACH Even after that onslaught by Hoff, Crystal's got a lot of fight left in her! CABOOSE That's why the lady is a champ. Crystal scurries to her feet and grabs Hoff's right leg as the big man is still on the mat, and begins stomping HARD at the knee! Crystal lays in a series of stiff boots before Hoff kicks his leg free and scoots backwards! Crystal, wild eyed, yells for Hoff to "GET UP!" COLE I think Crystal wants to take that knee apart even more, now! Hoff gets to his feet, eyeing the Female Phenom warily, and Crystal wastes no time dashing forward and diving for Hoff's leg! The big man tries to shake her off, but Crystal brings Hoff down with a single-leg takedown and DRIVES her knee into Hoff's, causing Hoff to cry out in pain! Crystal holds Hoff's leg against the mat and begins driving her knee into his over and over and over, looking positively posessed! CABOOSE I'm no expert at psychology -- well, I am next to you two. But I thnk Crystal's a wee bit miffed at Hoff's little ruse earlier! Crystal shouts obscenities at her opponent, pressing her shin against his knee in a submission-type maneuver, but, rather than keep the hold applied, Crystal gets to her feet and leaps into the air, bringing BOTH knees down onto Hoff's with a sickening double stomp. Hoff HOWLS in pain, and Crystal gets to her feet, looking at Hoff with ANGER~! Crystal grabs Hoff's right leg, amidst a sea of boos, and drags it to the nearest side of the ring, draping the ankle acorss the second rope! The fans are irate as Crystal looks out across them, pointing to Hoff's knee. Crystal grabs the top rope and LEAPS into the air, bringing her weight crashing down as she lands on Hoff's knee in a seated position! COACH Man, the Coach loves that ass, but even I don't want any part of that, playas! Hoff's leg slips off the rope and comes to rest on the bottom strand. The big man curls up, grabbing at the joint, this time in very real pain. Crystal grabs the leg again, but referee Robinson pulls her off, pointing to the ropes. COLE Robinson doing his job in there, seeing that Hoff is indeed in the ropes! Crystal shoves the official away and grabs Hoff's legs, pulling him away from the ropes and into the center of the ring! The fans come alive as Crystal grabs Hoff's legs and crosses them in preparation for the Crystalling! Crystal tries to turn Hoff, but the big man resists, keeping his back flat on the mat! COACH Hoff isn't going to let himself be put into that move! Crystal tries to turn Hoff...then stops, lining herself straight up with her opponent, and flipping over him, holding his legs in an AMAZING rollup! The fans pop in spite of themselves as Robinson counts! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO, not quite three as Hoff barely kicks free of the pinning predicament! COLE Wow! What a move! CABOOSE Modified jacknife roll by Crystal when she saw the Crystalling wouldn't work. That kind of quick thinking will make her an EXCELLENT champion come May. Hoff slowly picks himself off the mat as Crystal finds her feet and stalks toward him from behind. Hoff hops gingerly onto his feet, and Crystal DIVES, taking Hoff's knee out with a vicious chop block! The fans are livid, but Crystal smiles as Gunner Sharps applauds from the outside and shoots Crys a thumbs-up. Crystal makes a cover, hooking the injured right leg, but Hoff reaches out and grabs the ropes before the three! COLE Crystal, the Female Phenom, has turned this match around 180 degrees in just a few short minutes. Crystal, now smiling cockily, gets to her feet and pulls Hoff off the ropes. She rolls Hoff onto his stomach, then grabs his right ankle and yanks the leg up, using her foot to drive the knee back to the mat. Hoff brings his knee up to his stomach, cradling it as Crystal bows again. On the outside, Gunner again claps his hands for his girl, shouting words of encouragement. COLE Look at that Gunner Sharps on the outside! He has no business even being here! Crystal doesn't need her own personal cheering section! COACH That cheering section also happens to be seven feet tall, and nasty. CABOOSE And has beaten Hoff on more than one occasion. Hoff crawls toward the ropes, pulling himself with his hands, and Gunner steps toward him to mock his plight. Meanwhile, Crystal grabs his leg again, and this time twists her own around it, then falls forward and grabs Hoff in a facelock, completing the STF!! Hoff screams in agony as Crystal pulls back, smiling a wicked smile!! COLE The STF! Crystal hasthis vicious hold locked in! Hoff flails his arms, desparately trying somehow to get free. The fans, meanwhile, stomp and clap and try to send Hoff some energy, but Gunner is doing his best to counter that positive flow by berating the former World Champ. Hoff looks to the left and right, wild-eyed...then lunges out and GRABS the bottom rope! Gunner looks taken aback...and Hoff FLIPS HIM OFF! "YEEEEEEEEEAH!" The referee makes Crystal break the hold as the fans cheer for Hoff, but the cheers are quelled as Gunner rears back and NAILS Hoff with a big right hand! Hoff slumps back, rolling off of the ropes and tot he canvas. Crystal reaches down and grabs Hoff, pulling him up, but Hoff GRABS her by the midsection and, hopping on his left leg, DRIVES her back to the canvas! The fans are elated as Hoff stands up, weight on his left leg, and fires off a HUGE right hand! CABOOSE NO!! HOW?! Hoff rears back, and throws another big right! Another, and another, and ANOTHER and Crystal is REELING! Hoff uses all his strength to grab Crystal's arm and whip her cross-corner, falling to his knees from the momentum! Crystal lands HARD back-first in the corner and stumbles out as Hoff gets up. Before Crystal can react, Hoff grabs her around the waist and tosses her overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!! The fans go BANANA as Hoff slowly climbs to his feet! Hoff waits for Crystal to get up, and the Female Phenom turns slowly around...right into a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! Hoff holds the bridge! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Crystal gets the shoulder up? CABOOSE Where is this COMING from?! COLE I keep telling you, 'Booze, it's the will to win! The heart of a champion! Hoff will let NOTHING keep him down! Hoff gets up limping, but smiling as he ROARS to the crowd, holding a fist up as the roar right back! Hoff positions himself behind the dazed Crystal, lying in wait...but Gunner Sharps climbs onto the apron! COLE Aw, come on, get him off of there! Gunner yells at the ref, distracting him...but Hoff comes over to a HUGE pop and NAILS Gunner with a big right, sending him falling to the arena floor! Hoff looks down in satisfaction, then takes a step backward...into a rear waistlock! GERMAN SUPLEX by Crystal!! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE Oh, yeah, Hoff is OUT! Crystal hits the release German, then crawls over to Hoff and turns him onto his back. Crystal hooks Hoff's leg, and Robinson makes the count! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO!!!!! Hoff gets the shoulder up at the LAST second!! "YEEEEEEEEEAH!" The fans go crazy as Hoff escapes the pin, and Crystal slaps the mat as she gets to her feet! Crystal stalks behind Hoff, stomping the mat and throwing a HISSYFIT as she waits for Hoff to get to his feet! Slowly, but surely, Hoff gets up. Crystal grabs him in a front face lock, but Hoff again drives her into the corner! Hoff takes a few game steps back, then hobbles forward and, somehow, leaps with the STINGER SPLASH-- but Crystal pulls Robinson into the way!! *GOOSH* And Robinson goes DOWN!! COLE Oh no! Crystal pulled the official in the way! She should be disqualified! CABOOSE Are you kidding? She should be given a freakin' MEDAL for quick thinking! Hoff steps back, looking down at Robinson...allowing Crystal to sneak up behind him! Crystal applies another rear waistlock, but Hoff throws a back elbow, catching her in the temple! Crystal lets go, and Hoff pulls a standing switch! Hoff with the waistlock, but Crystal pries his hands apart and hits a standing switch of her own! Crystal gets the position, but Hoff somersaults forward, grabbing Crystal's leg as he does and sending her to the mat! Hoff rolls between Crystal's legs, ending up behind her, and grabs her ankle and APPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!!!! CABOOSE NO!! The fans EXPLODE as Hoff busts the anklelock out of NOWHERE, torquing the ankle of the Crown Jewel violently out of place! Crystal gets to the ropes...but there's no referee! It doesn't matter, as Hoff YANKS her away from the bottom strand and drags her to the center of the ring, TWISTING at the ankle of Crystal -- and CRYSTAL TAPS!! COACH Crystal is tapping out!! COLE But the ref is still down! Hey...HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!! The crowd jeers as Gunner Sharps slides into the ring! Seeing Gunner, Hoff lets go of the anklelock and turns to face him, just in time to eat a SPEAR~ that sends him down!! COLE SHARP END!! THE SHARP END FROM GUNNER!! Crystal gingerly pulls herself up, favoring her ankle, as Gunner slides out of the ring. Hoff is prone on the mat, and Crystal looks down, then heads to the ropes! SHe jumps once, twice, and hits the DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE YES!! YES YES YES!! COLE Crystal hits the Diamond in the Rough, and Hoff is out! Crystal stays on top of Hoff, hooking hisleg as Gunner Sharps grabs the referee! From his spot on the outside, Gunner reaches into the ring and shakes Robinson, bringing him back to life! Groggily, the official crawls over to Crystal and Hoff, making the count! COLE NOT LIKE THIS!!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "Plug in Baby" hits as Howard Finkel reads the decision. FINK The winner of this contest.....CRYSTAL!!!!!!!!! The fans jeer, irate, as Gunner slides into the ring, helping Crystal to her feet. Gunner chases Robinson away, then raises Crystal's hand himself to a loud chorus of boos. COLE I can't believe this. Crystal has stolen the number one contendership. CABOOSE Aw, believe it baby! And whoever the champ ends up being, I firmly believe you are looking at our next World's Champ! COLE Hoff brought everything he had tonight, but Crystal one upped him in the form of Gunner Sharps, and the numbers game was just too much! CABOOSE Make all the excuses you want, but the fact is, there is your winner, right there! Crystal and Gunner make their way up the aisle, looking back at the ring. As Hoff finally stirs, Crystal and Gunner call out to him and laugh, waving mockingly. Hoff looks up at them, then climbs to his feet, shaking his head. Crystal and Gunner, #1 contender and bodyguard extraordinaire, laugh one more time before heading through the curtain. COLE Well folks, a great match, if a bit disappointing in the end-- CABOOSE Speak for yourself, Cole. COLE Anyway, nonetheless, we've got a lot more action yet to come! COMING IN MAY.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 COLE Alright folks, it's time now for what has to be considering the most unique match of the night...one of the more unique in OAOAST history. It's the Last Man Dancing match for the OAOAST X-Division Championship, Leon Rodez versus The 70s Dude. And we really don't know what to expect from this one. CABOOSE I expect to be baffled and appalled. COACH I expect BOOBZ~! COLE Don't we all? CABOOSE Well, I doubt you do. But that's irregardless. Or regardless...whichever is proper grammer. Or grammar. Whatever, let's just get this debacle over with and file it beside WarGheymes in the 'Forgotten' file. COLE And with that, let's cross live to the Whiskey-A-G-Go, which is hosting this match....and to Josh Matthews. Only, unlike every other time he's been seen at a 70's disco, it's for work purposes. Josh, take it away. ---------------------------- CUT TO: 70's Disco. The scene switches to the Whiskey-A-G-Go, which in typical OAOAST fashion is not exactly expensive looking. And amongst about 60 to 70 people, all dressed in 70s garb, is Josh Matthews. Wearing a hideous brown and white shirt and sporting an afro (complete with chinstrap), Matthews breaks away from dancing with a couple of women and grabs his microphone from his back pocket. MATTHEWS Yeah, baby! Welcome to the era that taste forgot. Yes, it's 70s night and we're ready for the Last Man Dancing Match! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" MATTHEWS And without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your challenger for this evening's battle. Boos sound out through the disco, even before "Boogie Man" by KC and The Sunshine Band begins to play from the jukebox. But the boos don't last long. After all, the 70s were all about peace and love, man. The lone camera in the disco goes to the entrance, where The 70s Dude emerges from, bikini clad Dudettes on each arm and a big grin on his face. MATTHEWS He hails from Newark, New Jersey and weighs three hundred, five pounds...he is the hippest cat in town...ladies and gentlemen, give it up for TTTHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE 70SSSS DUUUUUUUUUUUUDDEEEEEEE!!! A mixed reaction greets The Dude, as most people are too busy gettin' their groove on to cheer or boo. Moving through the crowds of people, Dude reaches the dancefloor and joins in the dancing with much gusto. Dude smiles away, clearly in his element...untilt he music cuts, which gets HUGE HEEL HEAT~! for the guy controlling the jukebox. MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen...please welcome your special, live entertainment guests tonight. Bona fidé 70s superstars... KOOL... AND... THE... GAAAAAANNGGG!!!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The fans go wild suddenly, as on the small stage at the head of the dancefloor, Kool and The Gang appear and get into position... *GONG!* ...to get down, get down! ""GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN!" "Jungle Boogie Jungle Boogie (Get It On) Jungle Boogie Jungle Boogie (Get It On) Jungle Boogie Jungle Boogie Jungle Boogie (Get Down With The Boogie) Jungle Boogie (Come & Shake It Around)" Emerging through the beaded curtains, Leon Rodez smiles as he surveys the scene. The X-Division Champion removes his new Silky Smooth t-shirt, to reveal an 'I Shot (Jivin') JR' t-shirt, which gets a few ironic laughs. Laying his X-Division Title belt down on a nearby catering table, Rodez smiles...shrugs...and dances~! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Nearby fans join in, much to Dude's displeasure, clearly not happy with being upstaged. Rodez meanwhile continues his dancing, as he makes his way through the people towards the dancefloor. MATTHEWS And introducing, the OAOAST X-Division Champion of the WORLD! From Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds. He is "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOONN... RRRRRROOOODDEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!! Rodez reaches the dancefloor and The 70's Dude, which starts a faceoff between the challenger and champion. Thinking quickly, Kool and The Gang abandon the stage and head back off to...well...wherever it was they came from. Meanwhile, referee Charles Robinson emerges from the masses and motions for everybody to move back. Which they nervously do, creating a makeshift wrestling 'area' out of the dancefloor. MATTHEWS Err...business be pickin' up. Over to Triple C in the arena to call this one...I'm going back to the motel with this chick Sandy. So...if Rue calls, I'm busy, kay? CABOOSE Sure thing Josh! MATTHEWS Thanks! (dissappears) CABOOSE Get my phone for me Cole, I'm callin' Rue. COLE You have her number? CABOOSE Sure I do. I've got it on speed-dial baby! BA-ZING~! Back at the disco meanwhile, Rodez and Dude remain face to face, as the fans around them start clapping away rythmically. Referee Robinson calls for the bell...getting nothing. Apparantly, somebody forgot the bell. Which is embarrassing for Charles. ROBINSON Hey, kid, say ding for me. RANDOM GUY Who, me? ROBINSON Yeah. *DING!* The 'bell' sounds, as Dude starts to circle Rodez. Rodez meanwhile picks up on the claps, jigging away in time with them. Still circling, Dude finally moves in and grabs Rodez in a collar and elbow tie-up. After jostling for a moment, the stronger Dude applies a side headlock on Rodez, tightening up on the hold with a smile. Rodez fires off shots to the kidneys, before shooting him off....and Dude runs straight into the fans... ...who push him back, acting like human ropes, sending Dude straight into a back elbow! CABOOSE What the hell? COLE This has to be a first in professional wrestling...fans acting as ropes. Dude staggers, but doesn't go down. Turning to the fans, Rodez motions to them before running to the edge of the dancefloor. Sure enough, the fans push him back, allowing him to hit Dude with a shoulder block. But Dude doesn't go down. A little surprised, Rodez hits the opposite fans, hitting another shoulder block...which again, doesn't budge The Dude. So Rodez runs to the fans again, just as Dude does the same. The two criss-cross and hit the opposite side. But instead of hitting fans, Dude runs straight into the stage...which doesn't bounce him back, but does almost pop his hip out of the socket! CABOOSE Okay, this is ridiculous. Stopping abruptly, Dude groans and holds his hip. Rodez quickly stops his run, hitting the fans opposite Dude and charging at him. But The Dude ducks his shoulder and backdrops Rodez onto the stage, with a *THUD!* Shaking off his hip pain, Dude climbs onto the stage with Rodez now. Grabbing a mic stand, Dude waits for The Silky Smooth One to get back to his knees before SLAMMING it across his back! Dude follows it up with a second mic stand shot to the sternum, before turning to the crowd and smiling widely. As he does though, Rodez takes control of the mic stand, sliding it between Dude's legs...and snaps it upwards, right between the legs of The Dude! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" Eyes snapping open, Dude drops to his knees, wailing in pain. COLE Right in the disco balls! CABOOSE He'll sound like Leo Sayer after that one. Which is not a good thing. As The Dude drops to his knees, Rodez grabs a pair of drumsticks and does his best Steve Blackman impression...before hitting Dude repeatedly in the back. But The Dude doesn't so much as feel the small sticks rapping him on the kidneys, shrugging off the shots as he gets to his feet... 70s DUDE AAAAAH! ...and gets poked in the eyes with the drumsticks! Clutching his eyes, Dude wanders dangerously close to the edge of the stage and a 1 and a half foot drop. He wanders back away though, into a right hand from Rodez. Another. A third. Dude is close to falling now, as Rodez continues to punch away. But Dude catches him with a boot to the gut. Doubling over, Rodez curses as he comes back up. Dude catches him with a second boot though, before grabbing him by the head and tights and pitching him off of the stage... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and hard down to the dancefloor! Rodez bounces off the hardwood floor before coming to rest, close enough to the stage for Dude to give the signal for the elbow! A mixed reaction greets Dude, as he backs up and makes a run down the stage, before flying off...BUT RODEZ MOVES!! DUDE ELBOWS NOTHING BUT THE DANCEFLOOR!! COLE A miss! And that could be costly, because Dude landed very hard! COACH Both guys are still down though. Robinson checks on both men, before signalling both are down... 1! And starting his count. 2! 3! 4! ... Rodez pulls himself back up, grabbing Dude by the hair and breaking the count. Dragging The Dude back over to the stage, the X-Champion grabs a handful of his plentiful hair and SLAMS him face-first into the stage! Away staggers Dude, back into the centre of the dancefloor. Rodez charges him and drops Dude with a clothesline. And again! The challenger is reeling now, as Rodez clambers onto the stage and waits for Dude to stagger over...but as he dives off the stage, Dude catches him in his arms...and drops him with a snake-eyes on the stage!! COLE Well, if they keep going like this, then this may not last long. Already, this unusual environment coming into play and taking it's toll early. As Rodez lays draped over the stage, Dude returns the favour by slamming his head into the stage. A boot to the kidneys is followed by another face-first slammage into the stage for Rodez, Dude happy to slow the pace down. Reaching to the stage, Dude grabs the mic stand again and sets it on the dancefloor, before grabbing Rodez...elbow to the gut! Elbow! Elbow! Rodez then shrugs away Dude's grip and starts to punch away at the cool cranium of Dude, backing him up. With his opponents staggered, Rodez charges Dude, who moves. But Rodez puts the brakes on, hitting Dude with an ass punch before hurling him head-first into the mic-stand! Dude goes careering onwards, into the crowd who quickly get out of the way. As they do though, Rodez grabs Dude by the hair and starts to drag him right into the people! COACH Uh-oh, I smell a lawsuit. CABOOSE Relax. Hippies don't know anything about lawsuits, Coach. Hitting punches as he goes, Rodez continues dragging Dude through the garishly dressed disco-goers. They reach the back wall of the relatively small room, with Dude suddenly turning the tables and slamming Rodez head first into the wall. Dude then reaches out and grabs a conveniently placed steel chair, winding up... *CLANG!* ...and hitting the wall, as Rodez does what any good disco dweller would do...staggers towards the bar. Dude chases right after him though, catching Rodez with a boot before lining up the chair again. Reaching out, Rodez fumbles across the bar for something, while Dude mocks the fans, before wielding the chair... *CRASH!* ...AND GETS A GLASS BOTTLE TO THE FACE!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Okay, that wasn't good. Shards of glass fly through the air, sending fans cowering for cover. Dude grabs his face with a dry howl as Rodez checks his hand isn't bleeding. And once he's sure it isn't, he reaches over for Dude and slams him head-first into the bar! Dude's head bounces off the wood hard. Meanwhile, Rodez steps behind the dazed Dude...and drops him across a barstool, atomic drop style! Dude again howls, staggering off holding his ass, while Rodez follows. People quickly get out of the way of what has turned into a pure street fight, scared for their lives, as Rodez nails a right hand...before something catches his eye on the wall. CABOOSE Wait, what the hell...is that...no way. Reaching up onto the wall, Rodez pulls a picture frame down, showing it to the crowd...to reveal a framed picture of Olivia Newton John herself! Rodez smiles as he turns the picture to face him, kissing the image of ONJ before turning it to The Dude... *DOOF!* ...AND SMASHING THE PICTURE OVER HIS HEAD, SENDING MORE GLASS SHARDS FLYING!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE LET'S GET PHYSICAL! CABOOSE God... COLE What? Somebody had to say it. Dude slumps to his knees, numerous small cuts trickling blood on his forehead. Throwing the picture frame away, Rodez boots Dude in the head, before grabbing him in a headlock and GRINDING his fist into the cut forehead!! Robinson shows mercy on the challenger and pulls Rodez off, checking on The Dude while Rodez turns out to the now cheering fans...and hitting the famous pose from Saturday Night Fever~!~! You know the one. Don't pretend you don't, ya bunch of metrosexuals. "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" As the chants go up, Dude is up. But instead of going after Rodez, he staggers off out of shot, barging through the exit door (and setting off the alarm in the process). Rodez turns, confused to not find his opponent, to be told by referee Robinson that Dude has gone outside. Smiling, Rodez goes after him...but is stopped by a young kid of about eight, grabbing him by the leg. Rodez absent-mindedly shrugs the kid off and goes for the door again...which causes the kid to break out in tears. RODEZ Aw damn it...HEY, KID...CATCH! The kid looks up, as Rodez removes his shirt and tosses it to the kid. The kid cradles the shirt in his arms, as Rodez gives him a thumb up. COACH OMGCOPYRIGHTNFRINGEMENT~! COLE That seemed strangely familiar somehow. I suddenly feel thirsty too. Anyone want a Coke? As the kid walks off, happy to have a sweaty, blood covered shirt that no-one who watches the OAOAST would get...Rodez turns back to the door and steps outside... *CRASH!* ...before suddenly flying off to the side. The cameraman quickly rushes outside, to see that The Dude was waiting on Rodez, with a trashcan in hand. A trashcan which he dents over Rodez's head a second time. Tossing the trashcan away, Dude grabs Rodez and slams him into the outside wall of the Whiskey-A-G-Go. He then turns him around, looking to throw him into something else...but suddenly comes a halt, at what he sees... COLE OMG! That's the car from Dukes Of Hazzard!! How the hell did that get there? CABOOSE Well, it didn't drive itself. CABOOSE ...that one might have though. A little shocked to see two famous cars up-close and personal, Dude stands in awe for a moment. He shakes it off though, grabbing Rodez again and irish whipping him towards the Dukes Of Hazzard car. But Rodez sees it coming, leaping into the air and skidding across the hood of the car! CABOOSE Oh, for crying out loud! Landing safely on the opposite side of the car, Rodez takes a moment to catch his breath. He turns his back to Dude though, which Dude smiles at. Tapping Robinson on the shoulder, he tells him to 'watch this' before trying the same trick as Rodez. But unlike Rodez and a certain TV personality, Dude doesn't slide across the hood, instead landing ass first with a dull thud! Sliding gingerly off of the car, Dude limps over to Rodez and tries to grab him to try and cover his embarrassment. But Rodez catches him, grabbing Dude and slamming his head into Kit! "HEY!" Rodez looks around, wondering where the shout came from, as the door of Kitt opens and out step... ...DAVID HASSELHOFF~!~!~! COACH OMG~! CABOOSE Not him again. HASSELHOFF What the hell are you doing to my hous...oh, hey, it's you Leon! High-fiving Rodez, the former Baywatch star smiles as he looks at Dude sliding lifelessly down the hood of 'his' car. RODEZ What are you doing here man? HASSELHOFF Hey, if I can turn up at that match you had on the beach, why not at a disco? RODEZ ...makes sense to me. So, you come here for the disco or the action? HASSELHOFF Both. I came to the disco for some action man. You know, bangin' bitches and all that. Listen, take care of yourself buddy. RODEZ Yeah, you to... Suddenly, Rodez stops, as the passenger seat door opens...and no-one comes out. Rodez looks confused as the door magically shuts. But his confusion finally fades, as from around the side of the world famous car walks... ...yeah, you guessed it... HASSELHOFF It's okay Gary, we just stumbled on a Last Man Dancing Match...that's all. GARY Last Man Dancin' Match... ... GARY What'chu talkin' bout, Dave? HASSELHOFF It doesn't matter. Let's get out of here man, I promised your mom I'd have you back by nine. GARY What'chu talkin' bou... HASSELHOFF That's getting reeeeaaall old, Gary. Hasselhoff and Gary step back into the car, leaving Rodez standing bemused at what he's a part of (and how the OAOAST could afford Gary Coleman, David Hasselhoff AND the Dukes of Hazzard car). Breaking from his confusion, Rodez grabs Dude again and begins to drag him back into the disco. Opening the door, Rodez throws Dude in before making a grand entrance, getting cheered by the crowd as he struts over to The Dude. As he does though, Dude suddenly finds a burst of energy...HIPTOSS ON THE FLOOR!! Rodez groans as he bounces off the hard floor, while Dude points to Rodez and yells "Count him!" 1! 2! 3! 4! Rodez stirs... 5! 6! ...and gets to his feet! COLE Just a six count, but you can tell, this environment is much more dangerous than a wrestling ring. A mere hiptoss wouldn't usually have much effect on someone like Leon Rodez. CABOOSE Way to no-sell the hiptoss, Michael. Dude fires in some punches, before dragging Rodez back through the crowd and back towards the dancefloor. Trying to fight from Dude's grip, Rodez starts to throw jabs at Dude's mid-drift. The challenger shakes it off, but he gets punched again...so hits a boot and DDTs Rodez onto the floor!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Those around the fight gasp, as Dude pulls himself up. 70's DUDE THAT'S A 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!! Robinson is ready to count. But this time, Dude pulls Rodez up, dragging him a little further through the crowd, still nailing him with right hands. Blood is flowing a little more heavily from Dude's forehead now, as he catches up with Rodez, barging him into the wall. Dude clotheslines Rodez up against the wall for good measure, before turning away...and grabbing one of the catering tables! Laden with food, the table is pulled a little way away from the wall, before Dude grabs the first thing that comes to hand...tipping a bowl of nuts over Rodez's head. Unsurprisingly, that has no effect... *CLUNK!* ...but nailing him over the head with the glass bowl does. The bowl doesn't break, but does knock Rodez loopy. CABOOSE Oh, a table. What a surprise. Isn't in convenient that they have a buffet? COLE Come on 'Boose, all discos have buffets! CABOOSE No they don't... COLE Yes they do! Now, let's say no more! Dude follows the bowl shot up with a cocktail sausage assisted right hand. He then reaches down the table, grabbing the punchbowl and a ladel. Smiling, Dude looks down at Rodez...and takes a swig of the lurid green punch. Which is a big mistake, evidently, as Dude instantly spits it out and collapses on the floor with a hold of his gut. 1! Rodez drags himself up, as Robinson counts Dude. 2! 3! CABOOSE So, would this be the worst ending to a match ever? COLE I'm sure we've had worse. 4! 5! Dude uses the table to get up, spitting out the remaining punch...before eating a punch (as in, fist to the face) from Rodez, which sends him toppling up and over the table and landing hard on the back of his head on the other side!! Groans again come from the crowd, as Dude pulls himself up, covered in various foods and the punch. Rodea meets him with a right hand, before grabbing a bowl of...Fritos Corn Chips!?! RODEZ Aye aye aye aye , I am the frito bandito! *CLUNK!* Rodez nails Dude with the bowl, sending Fritos flying! CABOOSE I have died and gone to hell, haven't I? Dude staggers away again, but Rodez is in hot pursuit, the two coming to another table. Pushing Dude to the side and causing him to smack head-first into a wall, Rodez looks up to see the sign hanging from the ceiling above the table..."70'S MEMORABILIA"...and smiles. Looking through the table's contents, Rodez passes up on the Chopper Bike, picking up a Pong computer system..thing... *WHAM~!* ...AND NAILS DUDE OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE He hit him with Pong! I never thought I'd say that...but, sure enough, I just did. The shot staggers Dude, allowing Rodez to grab him by the hair and drag him up next to the jukebox that sits beside the table. Dude catches Leon with a quick jab into the side to break his grip, grabbing Rodez and slamming his head into the jukebo...NO, Rodez gets a foot up...and SMASHES Dude's head into the top of the jukebox!! Dude's head bounces away, but Rodez grabs him again and slams his head... *CRASH!* ...THROUGH THE GLASS TOP OF THE JUKEBOX!!!!!!! RODEZ EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~! COLE HAPPY DAYS FOR LEON RODEZ!! CABOOSE Damn it, somebody stop the pain. As Dude staggers back up against the wall, Rodez looks for more weaponry...and smiles, as he picks up a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot! Already dazed, Dude slumps against the wall, as Rodez holds the plastic robot in front of Dude's now crimson covered face...and makes the robot Rock and Sock him...and again...again...again!! COLE And now, Rodez is beating up The 70's Dude with a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot!! This is insane! CABOOSE That's one word for it. Dude wobbles, as the plastic robot continues to pound the hell out of his face. Until eventually, his equilibrium is so shot, that he staggers away from the wall, into a Jab! A jab! A jab! A ja... ...NO! Dude ducks the jab this time, hooking up Rodez...SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP AGAINS THE WALL!! Rodez is caught completely caught off guard and hits hard head-first, as both he and Dude stay down. Robinson rushes over to check on them and with neither moving, Robinson shrugs and begins his count.. 1! 2! COLE Both men are down and we could be looking at a draw here. 3! 4! COACH Which would mean Rodez retains, right? COLE Right. 5! CABOOSE Oh man, I don't know whever to route for The Dude or pray that this match ends... 6! CABOOSE ...ah screw it, C'MON DUDE! GET UP! 7! Both men begin to stir at 7, with Dude pushing up on his hands and shaking off the cobwebs. Rodez is still looking dazed, staring up at the ceiling vacantly. 8! Dude pushes up onto his knees, holding his head, blood now covering his forehead from the jukebox colission. Meanwhile, Rodez is stirring and trying to get to his feet. Dude meanwhile starts to do the mashed potato, trying to be the last man standing. COLE Rodez has got to get up now...Dude is up and if Rodez doesn't meet the count, we have a new X-Division Champion! 9! ... And Rodez gets to his knees, causing Robinson to call off the count! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cussing out Robinson, Dude grabs the still dazed Rodez and drags him a short distance to the dancefloor. Again, the fans get out of the way so they surround the dancefloor. Dude grabs Rodez, slamming his head into the stage, before taking the chance to take a breather. Back staggers Rodez though, fists clenched and ready to fight. But Dude meets him with a clothesline, knocking him down. COLE The Dude hasn't had the best of this match really. But he's gained the advantage now. CABOOSE Don't forget, this is the man who beat Calvin Szeichstein at Anglemania. In a Texas Death Match, no less. You can't count The Dude out. COLE Well, getting counted out will be the only way Dude can lose. As Rodez remains down, Robinson prepares to count. But as he does, Dude stops him, wagging a finger in Robinson's face...before pointing to the crowd. The referee looks understandably confused, until Dude runs into the fans...who again bounce him back like ropes. Dude jumps over Rodez and the fans catch on, bouncing him back again, Dude stopping beside Rodez and robot dancing... ...BUT HE MISSES THE DIRTY HIPPY ELBOW!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Rodez's fans erupt as Dude smacks off the hard dancefloor. It's The Dude who's up to his feet first though, closely followed by the groggy X-Division Champion. Rodez rubs the back of his head before suddenly charging Dude, spearing him up onto the stage and UNLOADING WITH RAPID-FIRE RIGHT HANDS!! COLE Leon Rodez, EXPLODING INTO LIFE!! RODEZ COME ON, BEH-BAY!!! Rodez fires up the crowd, before wandering off back through the crowd. On the stage, The Dude takes the opportunity to take a little rest period. Not for long though, as Leon Rodez appears, dragging with him the memorabilia table...which now, is empty, save for one lava lamp. Rodez places the lamp safely out of the way though, before positioning the table beside the stage and giving the '450' signal! COACH Uh-oh, I think Rodez is planning something big. COLE Well, he may be planning the Because The Lady Loves. But I don't think the stage is high enough for him to hit it! Leaping up onto the stage, Rodez grabs Dude... *DOOF!* ...driving his bloody head off a drum! Blood stains the drum, as Rodez... *DOOF!* ...bounces Dude off the next drum... *DOOF!* ...and a the third... *CLANG!* ...and then the cymbol! Dude is dazed from his drum solo', lumbering around the stage in a confused state. Grabbing Dude, Rodez spins the challenger to face him and nails a BIG right hand. The 70s Dude stays up, but a second right hand causes him to slump to one knee. The champion is in control again, lining up Dude and booting him in the head, sending him rolling off the stage and back onto the dancefloor. Fans cheer as Dude lands, Rodez assessing a chance of a 450...but he decides against it, leaping down after Dude and dragging him over to the table. COLE This doesn't look good. Draping The Dude's head over the table, Rodez lifts, looking to ram him head-first...but Dude elbows him in the gut. Another elbow connects. But Rodez shakes them off, stepping behind The Dude and PLANTING HIM ON THE DANCEFLOOR WITH A BACK SUPLEX!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE RIGHT.. ON.. HIS.. HEAD! 1! Up goes the count from Robinson, as both men stay down. 2! 3! 4! COLE This is truly gutcheck time. Leon Rodez, looking to win here to reach his 6 month mark as champion...The 70s Dude looking to win his first OAOAST gold! 5! 6! Rodez pushes himself up, using the table to stand. Robinson signals he's up and reminds him he has to be dancing once the 10 count is rendered. 7! 8! Starting the dance early, Rodez soon stops as he sees Dude push himself to his knees, breaking the count. CABOOSE I told you. The Dude has unparrallelled resiliance! Rodez is going to have to kill him to keep him down for 10...and even then, it's unlikely! Rodez grabs Dude and slams his head into the table...and again. A third time Dude's head bounces violently off the table, leaving him groggy enough for Rodez to slump Dude across the table! The fans in the disco cheer, as Rodez veers off to the left, taking a fake afro from a fan and putting it on, to another cheer. Rodez then walks to the stage, leaping up and pointing to the Dude. COLE Rodez, looking for high-risk to end it! COACH He ain't gonna try the 450, surely. Looking down to The Dude, Rodez realises Dude is at the same height as the stage and thinks better of the 450. Instead, he backs up to the back of the stage, getting a run-up...before sprinting to the edge...AND DIVING THROUGH DUDE, AND THE TABLE, WITH A MAJESTIC SPLASH!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE THAT HAS TO BE IT! Clutching his gut, Rodez rolls off of Dude and nods for Robinson to make the count. 1! 2! COLE Dude is hurt here, surely he can't get up after that! 3! 4! 5! Rodez is up and smiling, calling over two women from the crowd to come dance with him! But while he dances away, The Dude is somehow stirring amongst the table wreckage! 6! 7! Dude rolls out of the wood and metal... 8! ...looking up at Robinson, pain etched on his face as he tries to get up... 9! ... DUDE IS UP!! COLE WOW! He got up! And this match continues. CABOOSE I told you Mickey. Rodez turns, to see Dude getting up...and grits his teeth to prevent any expletitives escaping his mouth. Ripping off the afro and ushering (YEAH~!) away the girls, Rodez grabs Dude and HURLS him into the stage! Business has picked up, as Rodez pulls Dude away...before HURLING him into the stage again, hip first! The Dude staggers back around...ENZIGURI MISSES! Rodez lands awkwardly on his shoulder and is slow getting up, allowing Dude time to grab him and irish whip Rodez towards the stage. Planting his hands, Rodez shoots up and over...ONTO DUDE'S SHOULDERS... CABOOSE DRAFT DODGER, COMING UP... ...BUT RODEZ SLIDES BEHIND DUDE! Lumbering around, Dude throws a right...but gets one back. Dude with a right. Rodez with a right. Dude. Rodez. Dude, Rodez, Dude, Rodez, it's a slugfest at the disco hall, baby! Getting the better of it, Dude backs Rodez up against the stage...but Rodez fires back with right hands of his own!! Rodez backs up Dude, spinning him off to the side. Catching Leon with a boot, Dude changes the momentum though, grabbing a wrist and irish whipping him off into the fans. But instead of being bounced back, Rodez falls into the fans and one taller fan catches an elbow in the jaw!! COLE OH! CABOOSE Lawsuit, right there! They don't like like hippies. COACH I WILL TESTIFY FOR MONEY!! Turning around, Rodez apologises as the fan is attended to by a friend. But Rodez can't apologise for too long, as Dude charges in. Rodez catches Dude with a boot though, hooking on a double underhook, ready for the Tiger Driver... *CRASH!* COLE WHAT THE HELL!?! Glass and green go suddenly fly everywhere, Rodez collapsing in a heap...as the friend of the elbowed fan stands over him, the remains of a lava lamp in his hand!!! COLE THAT FAN...SOMEBODY GET SECURITY!! The crowd of people are going crazy now, as the smiling fan suddenly runs for the exit, chased by security personel. Meanwhile, Rodez is out cold...and bleeding profusely from the back of his head. CABOOSE Wha...what the hell just happened? COLE Uhm...well, that...that...fan just...uhm...well, I don't think we should comment... CABOOSE Don't think you should comment!?! That fan may have just cost Leon Rodez the X-Division Title!! The fans don't know what to make of what's happened, as The 70s Dude groggily comes to his feet and hooks Rodez in a standing headscissors. Whever Dude saw what happened isn't clear. But either way, he doesn't care, as he lifts up Rodez... *WHAM~!* ...AND DROPS HIM STRAIGHT DOWN!!! CABOOSE PILEDRIVER ON THE DANCEFLOOR!! COLE Oh, no! We may have a new champion here... CABOOSE ...MAY!?! Robinson, unsure of what to do, is ordered to count by the blood soaked Dude...and with a shrug, Robinson does what he has to do. 1! 2! 3! 4! COLE It can't end like this, surely. 5! 6! COLE Not like this. Not after five long months... 7! 8! Dude, half-heartedly, begins to dance as Rodez remains motionless... "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" 9! ... 10!! COLE NO! CABOOSE YES! WE HAVE A NEW X-DIVISION CHAMPION!! The fans in the disco don't know how to react. Some boo, some stand in stunned silence. Meanwhile, The Dude drops to his knees, clutching a hand to his bloody forehead and calling for his belt. Miraculously, the belt hasn't been stolen, as Charles Robinson passes the belt to The Dude. MATTHEWS La...Ladies and...gentlemen. Your winner and new OAOAST X-Division Champion of the WORLD... THE 70S DDUUUUUUUUDDEEEEEEE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The obviously concerned Josh Matthews checks on Rodez, EMTs emerging through the entrance to check on Rodez, who remains motionless. Meanwhile, The 70s Dude stands in the centre of the dancefloor, looking deep into his reflection in the X-Division Championship belt, smiling from ear to bloody ear. With a last little jig, The Dude clutches the belt to his chest and makes his way back through the crowds, on his way to celebrate...while Rodez is still out cold. COLE I...don't believe what we just saw. The 70s Dude...is your new X-Division Champion. But the way the match ended was simply...simply shocking. Some fan struck Leon Rodez, in the head, with a lava lamp. And after that, the piledriver by The Dude...and now, you see the results. COACH What a sucky way for Leon's title reign to end. CABOOSE Oh, somebody get the violins. Guys, you should be happy. The new era of the X-Division has begun. The 70s era! COLE How can you be happy about what happened Boose? CABOOSE I'm not happy. Fans shouldn't get involved in matches, obviously. But...there's more to this than meets the eye. COLE Huh? CABOOSE Call me suspicious, but it seems kinda fishy to me. Anyway...forget that, let's be happy that we have a NEW X-Division Champion! The 70s Dude! COACH A three hundred pound guy wearing the X-Division belt. CABOOSE So? There's no weight limit, doofus. As the Triple C bickering continues, Leon Rodez is still being attended to on the dancefloor. A pool of blood underneath his head is mixed with the green gloop from the lamp and chunks of glass. Various EMTs, along with Charles Robinson and Josh Matthews, hover over Rodez with worried expressions on their faces. Meanwhile, the disco goers all stand around in nervous silence, while the EMTs try to decide what to do. COLE A disturbing scene...we expected it may end with casualties...but, we never expected this. We'll...hopefully have an update on Leon later in the show. But for now, I think it's best we move on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 COLE And now we've come for the Black T portion of the night. CABOOSE This is great. For the first time in this federation's history, Dan Black and Tony Brannigan are both capping off the night with huge high-profile matches. They've waited their entire careers for this -- and I can guarantee they're ready. COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now time for a first time singles match up; a match between two OAOAST originals. The feeling between these two men has been escalating ever since that fateful day that Black T kicked Zack Malibu out of the Original Elite. Clips of that beat down are shown, including Dan Black’s BlackOut on Candie. The clips then change to Anglemania IV, as we see Dan and Zack exchanging blows. COLE At AMIV Zack’s team was victorious. But Dan Black couldn’t let that go. He wants to prove that Zack is a fake, and that he is the real OAOAST legend. Quite simply, Zack Malibu isn’t going to allow that. CABOOSE Once again, I’m in an unusual position. On one hand, I respect Dan’s abilities and even some of his attitudes. But he always has to take it that one step too far. If he cut back on trying to rile his opponents and just concentrated on his game, there’s no telling how good he could be. Zack, meanwhile – well, we got the win at Anglemania, but I’m not sure how much Black has gotten to him. I hope he’s ready. Cue: “Quiet”, as dark smoke starts to fill the stage beneath the AngleTron, as the crowd starts to rumble in anticipation. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is a special, first time, challenge grudge match! Introducing first, from London, England, weighing 230lbs, he is a former 3 time OAOAST tag champion along with numerous singles titles. He is the man they call “The Ice Heart”, Daaaaaaaan BLLLLLLLLLLLLACK! The man himself appears within the swirling smoke. As it dissipates we see a small, smug smile on his face. Wearing dark shades and black trenchcoat, Dan walks down to the ring, a confident swagger in his walk. The crowd greets him as he has become accustomed to, and their hate follows him down the aisle like an angry, buzzing cloud. COACH Dan Black looking extremely cocky here. He obviously believes he has the mental edge going into this match. COLE It’s really hard to tell what the state of mind of these two men will be, other than the undoubted hatred that has burst up between them. Dan removes his entrance attire and stretches out in the middle of the ring. He’s wearing short tights, one leg white, the other black, with black knee supports and boots. Dan nods to our referee, Nick Patrick, and takes the referees arm, making sure he can make a 1-2-3 count. Black nods in approvement. “You’ll be needing that pretty soon,” he tells Patrick. Cue: “Getting Away With Murder” The fans roar as Zack comes through the curtain and walks straight ahead, eyes gazing down the aisle and focused on Black, who stands in the ring. BUFFER And his opponent! From- Buffer gets no further and scatters, as, suddenly, Zack bursts forward, charging down the aisle like a madman and sliding under the bottom rope, coming up at the feet of Dan Black! CABOOSE This is NOT good for Dan Black! Malibu comes to his feet, and before Dan can defend himself, Zack goes wild, staggering him with right hand after right hand! Dan stumbles around, knocked for a loop by the series of punches, and Malibu backs up, already trying for SCHOOL'S OUT...but it's caught at the last second, and Zack gets spun around...BLACKOUT...NO! Malibu pushes Dan into the ropes, then catches him coming off with a monkey flip that Zack rolls through with, landing atop Dan's shoulders and pounding away! Black tries to cover up, and winds up rolling so that he's on top of Zack, and he starts clubbing on him, until Zack rolls and both of them go under the bottom rope and spill out on the floor! COACH This is like Tyson-Holyfield! Ali-Frazier! Screech and Horshack! Both men get up, and Black immediately tries for a lariat, but it gets ducked, and Malibu stuns him with an inverted atomic drop before connecting with another right hand that floors the "Ice Heart"! Malibu then takes Dan up and rams his face into the apron once...twice...three times~! before rolling him back into the ring! Black gets up and holds his face, agonizing over the punishment he's taking. Malibu then grabs him and does a full 360 for a ROARING ELBOW~!...DUCKED! Black quickly takes Zack over with a back suplex to counter, but the Preppy One lands on his feet and spins Dan Black around, booting him in the stomach...AND GOING FOR A BLACKOUT! NO! Dan slips his head out, and when Zack turns around he turns right into a SCHOOL'S OUT BY DAN BLACK~!...NO! Zack catches the foot and throws it down, THEN connects with his Roaring Elbow, knocking Dan off his feet and sends his rolling out of the ring to escape the wrath of the former OAOAST World Champion! “Zack! Zack! Zack! Zack!” Nick Patrick has to restrain Malibu from leaping out of the ring after Black once more, as Dan staggers into the guard rail, clutching his jaw and spluttering in anger. COLE What an assault by Zack Malibu! That cannot be the way Dan Black wanted to start this match! Black walks all around the ring, eyes on Zack, looking for a safe way back in. Zack stands in the middle of the squared circle, beckoning, almost pleading for Dan to get back in. Black slowly climbs to the apron, still holding his jaw where Zack’s stiff roaring forearm connected. Slowly, deliberately, Dan enters the ring, but immediately backs off into a corner and puts his head and torso out under the top rope as Zack approaches him. The crowd is not impressed, as Patrick prevents Zack attacking again. COACH Black stalling now, looking to regain control of the situation. If the match had continued at that opening pace, I think he would have been in big trouble. Finally, with Zack backed off, Dan emerges from the ropes. He rolls his shoulders, bites his lip, and he and Malibu start to circle each other. Zack makes a dart for Dan’s left leg, but Black evades him and then spits just in front of the face of the crouched “Franchise”! Malibu explodes towards Black, but Dan is ready, ducking his lariat and applying a waistlock. Malibu quickly tests Black’s grip, and finding it not fully locked is able to break out and spin around Dan, applying a waistlock of his own. Dan counters this, however, getting his hand under Zack’s and breaking out into a hammerlock on Malibu. Black then spins Zack to his face him and rapidly flips him over to the mat with a snap mare takeover, before kneeling and clamping on a side headlock to the seated Malibu. COLE Dan now obviously trying to slow things down. He is an excellent technical wrestler; perhaps he hopes to gain some advantage in tying Zack up. Black applies pressure on the headlock, but Malibu gets his hand on Black’s back and pushes himself out of the hold, grabbing Dan into a hammerlock as he does so, bringing both men to their feet. Black counters once more, reversing the hammerlock, and then using a waistlock grip to lift Zack up and plant him down face first with an amateur style take down. With Zack lying face first, Dan quickly crosses Malibu’s legs and pushes his knee down where they cross. Black tries to grab for Zack’s arms, possibly looking for a surfboard type hold, but Malibu evades him and instead uses his arms to push his body up in a press up style position. Zack then shoots himself up off the mat, whipping his legs out from under Dan and, moving backwards, wrenches a sidehead lock onto Dan! The fans applaud this smart counter, as Black immediately looks for his own way out. He quickly finds it, pushing out behind Zack and tripping him down to his front once more with a droptoe hold. Again, Dan crosses Zack’s legs over. He lifts them up and slams them into the mat, and then leaps into an STF hold. COLE Dan targeting the legs of Zack early on. Perhaps a slightly unusual move, given that Black’s big moves, the BlackOut and Heart of Ice (Crippler Crossface) largely damage the neck, an area Black knows must still be a little weak from Black T’s beatdown last month. CABOOSE We’ll see, Cole. Dan grins as he torques on the STF, but it’s too early in the match to keep Zack down for long, and he crawls forward and grabs the bottom rope. Nick Patrick counts Dan off. As soon as Zack rises, however, Black is back on the attack, wrenching an armbar onto Malibu. Yet again though Zack has an answer, this time a less subtle one, as he just fires a series of hard martial arts kicks into Dan’s chest that force him to drop the hold. Zack runs the ropes, but Black meets him with another drop toe hold. Like a flash, Dan has his legs crossed for a third time, his own knee applying pressure, and its third time lucky as Dan manages to grab Zack’s arms and pull his torso off the mat with a sitting surfboard! Zack shouts in pain, and his shouts get louder as Dan pulls him all the way back and applies a chinlock, dragging Zack’s head back so his body is stretched fully out and his neck wrenched at almost a right angle to it. COLE That’s the hold he wanted – he wasn’t going after the legs at all! CABOOSE I told you. COLE You said “We’ll see”. That doesn’t mean anything. CABOOSE We’ll see. Black nods with satisfaction, and after a few more moments in the hold allows Zack to fall forwards onto the mat. Dan quickly grabs Malibu and rolls him up with a La Majistral cradle! ONE! TWO! T- Zack kicks out. Black brings Malibu up and goes to a side headlock once more, but Zack pushes him straight off to the ropes. As Dan returns, Malibu gives him a drop toe hold of his own and locks on – COLE He’s using the Heart of Ice! Dan’s own submission hold! CABOOSE Many wrestlers have tapped to that hold, but Black’s not been one of them…yet… Malibu wrenches back on the crossface, but, suddenly, lets it go, getting to his feet with a sly grin on his face. “Anytime, Danny, anytime,” he tells Black. COACH Malibu really bringing the mind games now! Trapping Dan in his own move, and then letting him out just to rub in how easy it was! Black gets to his feet, a look of pure, dark hatred on his face. Zack continues to grin at him, causing Dan to sting him with an open palmed slap across the handsome face of the “Franchise”! Black grabs Malibu for yet another headlock, but Zack, fired up once more, just lifts Dan up and drops him to the canvas with a back suplex! Malibu floats over to cover, but Black shoves him off immediately and both men spin up to their feet. Dan chops Zack hard in the chest, a sound like gunfire echoing throughout the arena. Malibu winces, but doesn’t hesitate to return the blow, generating another thunderous impact. The two warriors exchange further, pectoral splitting chops, until Zack gains the upper hand, forcing Dan to the ropes with chops and then whipping all the way across the ring. Black rebounds, and Zack drags him into a sleeper hold! COLE The Trendsetter sleeper drop! But Black has it scouted. Knocking the air out of Zack with a back elbow, he wheels around Malibu and locks on a half nelson. The crowd boos as Dan tries to whip Zack over with a half nelson suplex, but Malibu blocks it with a boot behind Dan’s and breaks the half nelson, countering to a full nelson of his own. Black, knowing the dangers of the Dragon suplex extremely well, runs forward and grabs the nearest rope to escape. COACH Both men extremely wary of being hit by a big move now. After that initial flurry, they both realise this match has a very good chance of going long. CABOOSE And both men have some extremely dangerous moves in their arsenals. And with all the time they’ve spent in the same promotion, they’re very aware of those moves. Zack is counted off by Nick Patrick, and he and Dan meet in the middle of the ring once more. No talking or slaps this time, just straight into a lock up, each man wanting to firmly establish an advantage for the first time. They strain for leverage, with Dan using his slight weight advantage to propel Malibu back into the ropes. Patrick counts for the break, which Black obeys, but immediately stings Zack with a European uppercut. With Malibu momentarily groggy, Dan applies a front face lock, lifting Zack up into a vertical suplex. Malibu kicks however, and lands back on the mat. He reverses the hold, and grabs Dan up into his own suplex, quickly dropping him to the mat and scooting over for the cover: ONE! TWO! Black kicks out. Malibu grabs him by the hair, earning a reproach from Nick Patrick that’s totally ignored, and raises the “Ice Heart”. Zack double underhooks Dan’s arms, looking for a butterfly suplex, but yet again Black counters, twisting out of the hold and getting behind Malibu, applying a waistlock and lifting him up and over with a hard German suplex with bridge – ONE! TWO! THR- Zack kicks out, breaking the bridge. Black brings Malibu up, keeping him rattled with another European uppercut, and then whips Zack into the corner. Dan follows in with a high knee to the chest, and as Malibu staggers out of the corner Black wraps his arms round him and flips him over with a Northern Lites suplex – ONE! TWO! THR- Zack kicks out again. COLE Black does love to use those suplexes at any chance he gets. Definitely to be avoided. COACH Have you noticed how serious we’re all being in this match? I’m kinda scared. Dan brings Zack up again. He swings another European uppercut, but this time Zack blocks it with a forearm, dragging the arm around Dan and pulling him into a backslide pinning predicament! ONE! TWO! Dan kicks out, rolling forward out of the backslide. He runs at Zack, who’s up to one knee, perhaps looking for a version of Malibu’s own Zack Attack (Shining Wizard), but Zack rises and grabs Dan’s legs, flipping him onto his back and then jumping forward onto him for the pin – ONE! TWO! THR- Black kicks out, and both men are up – Malibu brings Dan straight back down with an inside cradle! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Black is up and angry, and stomps the mat in frustration. COLE I don’t think Zack expected to beat Dan with those roll ups, but he has gotten him to lose a little of that icy cool. CABOOSE Zack doesn’t WANT to beat Black with a roll up. He wants to destroy him. That could be a disadvantage. COACH Things have been pretty even so far. I’m just glad that Tony Brannigan isn’t out here. COLE Well, it’d be nice to see his ass. Er, his ass get kicked. Phew. Good covering, Mikey! Another lock up. The fans start to stomp their feet and chant for Zack, as he gets the advantage with a knee to the gut and whips Black to the ropes. Zack flattens himself to the canvas, and Dan jumps over him, throwing himself off the ropes on the opposite side. Malibu meets him with a deep arm drag that sends Dan bouncing off the mat. Black scurries up and charges back, but is again flipped over with another beautiful arm drag. Dan pops up again, scowling, but has no time to react before Malibu sends him out over the top rope with a lariat! Black picks himself up on the floor as Zack quickly climbs to the top rope. Facing in towards the ring, he leaps back – out of the ring – with a high elevation moonsault, coming crashing down onto Dan on the floor! Both men hit hard, with the athletic maneuver getting a huge pop from the crowd. Zack is up first, pumping his fist as the adrenalin flows. He grabs Dan by the hair and the back of his tights, and, ignoring the referee’s protests, flings Black into the steel ring steps! Dan manages to turn so he takes the impact on his back rather than his skull, but nevertheless the impact rings out and Black is left swearing and clutching at his spine. With Patrick starting a count out, Zack rolls Black back into the ring. He waits on the apron, however, gesturing for Dan to get up. As the “Ice Heart” does so, Malibu grabs the top rope and jumps up onto it, leaping off towards Dan with a springboard body press. Zack’s weight knocks Black down, but he rolls through the momentum so that Dan is on top of Malibu with a handful of tights! ONE! TWO! THREE – no, kickout! Some relieved shouts and screams from the fans, as they know Dan almost stole the match. Black is still woozy from the moonsault and ring steps, so its Zack who’s first to his feet. He cracks Dan in the jaw with a pair of hard forearm shots, and then plants him down hard with a Russian legsweep. Malibu steps out to the apron and climbs to the top rope. Black, holding his jaw again, slowly gets to his feet, and Zack leaps off with a missile dropkick aimed straight at Dan’s head – but Black jumps to one side! Malibu hits the mat, and Dan leaps onto him like a predator on prey, locking in the Heart of Ice in the middle of the ring! Black locks his fingers over Zack’s face and leans back hard, tearing at his neck. COLE Oh, I think Zack might now regret that earlier mocking of Black. I’ve never seen that hold applied with such viciousness! Indeed, all of Dan’s muscles are bulging and shaking, his face creased with effort as he puts all his strength into the hold. Malibu shouts in pain, as the crowd boos Black’s advantage, but his hand remains motionless on the match, giving Dan no sign that he even contemplates tapping out. Black continues to wrench on the hold for another moment or two, before releasing it with a snort of frustration and rolling onto his back, needing to regain his own strength after all the effort he put into that hold. Malibu holds the back of his neck as he lies prone on the mat. Dan spots this involuntary motion with a smile and walks over. He stands over Zack, and suddenly delivers a hard elbow drop across the back of Malibu’s neck. And another. COACH We mentioned earlier that Dan might target Zack’s neck…and here it comes. CABOOSE Exactly what Dan must have been hoping for. Malibu can’t let him stay on the offence now. Black brings Zack up and applies a cravat hold about his neck, twisting Malibu’s head. Zack fights back with an elbow to Dan’s stomach, and another has him free. Black swings a lariat that Zack ducks, and the “Franchise” grabs him in a sleeper – the Trendsetter! Zack buries Dan’s head into the mat with the sleeper drop, and hooks his leg for the cover – ONE! TWO! THREE- no! Dan kicks out! Zack doesn’t show any disappointment but brings Black up – and hits him with a European uppercut of his own! The blow dizzies Dan and leaves him hanging on the ropes, to the appreciation of the fans. Zack takes Black by the scruff of the neck and scrapes his eyes across the top cable! COLE Ow…that has got to hurt…not least because it’s a tactic Dan’s own partner, Tony Brannigan, uses. COACH These two men are trying to beat each other mentally almost as much as they are physically. Black yelps with pain as Nick Patrick intervenes, counting Malibu off – but Zack shoves Patrick away, knocking the official to the mat! Patrick gets up with a grim look on his face, and tells Zack “This is your one and only warning”. Malibu reluctantly releases Black, who rubs at his eyes. Zack stalks him, walking from side to side as Patrick checks on Dan. At last, Black nods that he’s good to go, and Malibu pushes past Patrick to get to him – but Dan pulls the referee in front of him, insisting he wasn’t ready! The sold out arena hurls abuse at Black for his cowardly tactics – and the abuse only gets worse as Black promptly reaches past Patrick and rakes Malibu’s eyes! Dan ignores the jeers as he grabs Zack into a front facelock, hoisting him up into a vertical suplex position – before dropping him down hard with a brainbuster! Black brings Malibu straight back up and applies a standing headscissors. He looks to lift him up for what looks like a piledriver attempt, but Zack fights back and lifts Dan up and over with a backdrop to the mat. Black is almost immediately back up however, standing behind Malibu, who has dropped to one knee with the effort of the back drop. As Zack stands, its straight into a full nelson, and he doesn’t have chance to move before Dan lifts him with over with a Dragon suplex – right onto the back of Malibu’s head and neck. Black holds a bridge: ONE! TWO! THREE- Kickout! Dan suddenly leaps over and locks on the Heart of Ice once more! Malibu is fairly near the ropes, however, and can reach out with an arm to make the break. COACH Black is going for that hold like a snake striking. He obviously thinks he can win with it. CABOOSE It’s a dangerous move, but I don’t think Zack will ever tap in a match like this. Zack uses the ropes to pick himself up, feeling the effects of the Dragon suplex. Dan impatiently barges in and pulls Zack away from the edge of the ring. Black holds the shaken Zack by the back of the neck and looks straight into his eyes. “I’m going to break this,” he says, with a flash of white teeth, and KICK WHAM – No, Zack counters it, grabbing Black’s head in a Dragon sleeper as Dan turns! COLE The California Dream! Malibu busting out all his trademark holds, and what a counter that was! CABOOSE Now we’ll see how Black enjoys having his own neck stretched. He doesn’t seem to enjoy it very much. Dan is swearing and waving his arms wildly as Zack clamps his arm back across Black’s throat, twisting his head at a nasty angle. Dan falls to his knees, and Malibu keeps the hold in place to the approval of the crowd. Black tries to shuffle towards the ropes to no avail. Suddenly Malibu’s face contorts with pain and he drops the hold, clutching the arm he was applying it with. “Mother-bleep-er!” yells Zack, “The bastard bit me!” Nick Patrick looks shocked as he looks at what look like bite marks on Zack’s arm. They both turn to Dan Black, rising with a fiendish grin. Malibu charges him and almost decapitates Black, spinning him over onto the back of his head with a vicious lariat. Zack covers! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Black kicks out! The crowd starts up another “Zack!” chant, as Malibu brings a glassy eyed Black up to his feet. Zack underhooks Dan’s arms and this time is able to fling Black up and over with the butterfly suplex he tried for earlier. Malibu stretches his neck from side to side as he gets to his feet, bringing Dan back off the mat and trying for a German suplex that Black hastily back elbows out of. Black turns to face Malibu, who stuns him with a forearm shot and a jawbreaker. COLE Dan’s been suffering from pain to his chin and jaw ever since the opening exchange where Zack hit him with a powerful roaring forearm. If Malibu can land School’s Out, I don’t think Black will be getting up. CABOOSE I wouldn’t mind seeing Dan’s teeth all over the mat, I have to admit. Malibu goes after Dan, slamming clubbing blows into his back, and then, applying a front face lock, lifts Dan up and plants him onto the top rope. Zack pummels Dan with a few more forearms, and starts to climb up after him. Malibu grabs Black and they both stand precariously on the top rope, Zack trying to bring Dan down with a super-plex. Black fires punches into Zack’s midsection, trying to drive him off, and it works, as Malibu’s grasp slips. Black grabs a hold of Zack and looks to be trying for a powerbomb off the top! The crowd buzzes at the prospect of such a move, even from a hated figure like Black, but Malibu doesn’t share their excitement and fights back again, headbutting Dan, re-applying the front face lock and leaping off with a huge, towering suplex that lands both men hard in the center of the squared circle! Black rolls on the mat, shouting in pain, while Malibu sits up, rubbing the back of his neck once more. He’s a little slow getting to his feet, and the delay allows Black to start to rise too. COACH Both men down, both hurt. We’re moving deeper and deeper into this match, and still neither man has been able to gain a decisive edge. This is a real war, no doubt about it. As they come up simultaneously, each man tries to land a blow first. Black tries to clobber Malibu with a punch, but it's blocked by Zack, who fires off with right hands that back his opponent into the ropes. Malibu sends Dan across the ring and tucks his head, but it proves to be a mistake as Black puts the brakes on and grabs Zack in a facelock, lifting him for a suplex...but Malibu falls behind him and spins him around! As if he expected it, Black jabs a thumb in Zack's eye to prevent him from executing any offense, then jars him with a neckbreaker, bending his neck across his shoulder! COLE Once again Dan Black goes for the weak spot, looking to put Zack and Candie in matching neckbraces. Black gets up and drags Malibu up with him, hammering on the back of the neck with forearms before rising Zack to a vertical base and sending him into the corner. Malibu hits hard, and Dan goes running in with a corner lariat, but Malibu gets a boot up to deflect the onslaught! Zack goes up on the middle rope and dives off with an axehandle, but Malibu gets clobbered in the bread basket as Black swings his arm out! Zack is double over and gets pulled into a headscissors, but as he's lifted onto Dan's shoulders he counters the powerbomb attempt with a huracanrana! Dazed, Black pushes up to his feet, while Malibu bursts forward and leaps into the air, swinging his leg around to blast Dan in the back of the head with a running enzugiri! CABOOSE The educated feet of Malibu strike again, and Dan Black simply flopped to the mat! Zack rolls Dan onto his back, but rather than go for the pin, he holds Dan by the hair and peppers him with a closed fist, pounding on the bridge of his nose. Zack leads him up, then rocks him with a European uppercut! With Dan staggering Malibu runs the ropes and comes back at Dan with a YAKUZA KICK~!, but Dan ducks and rolls under the move, coming to his feet and hitting the ropes to return the favor, cracking Zack with his own Yakuza Kick that sends the OAOAST poster boy out through the ropes and to the floor! COLE What didn't work for Zack worked for Black, and now Malibu is out in front of the fans. With his foe down and out, Black takes a few moments to himself, catching his breath and regaining some of that lost energy. As soon as he sees Zack coming up he charges forward, sliding out of the ring behind him and spinning him around right into a knee, then lifts him up and drops him with a forward suplex across the security barrier! Malibu straddles the barrier, hanging over it with his head exposed, as Black moves away from him and then hits a running boot to the side of Zack's head that sends him sliding off the apron and onto the ringside floor once again! After getting a few stomps in and soaking up the boos of the fans, Dan pulls Zack up again and shoves him hard, sending Malibu flying backwards and right into the lap of announcer Michael Buffer! Buffer reels after being squashed upon impact, and Black rushes over, holding Zack by the hair and ramming his fist into his forehead and pounding over his eye, trying to open a cut. Black then tugs Zack off of Buffer and hurls him to the floor, then orders Buffer out of his seat. Dan then folds up the steel chair and turns to Zack, raising it above his head and ready to slam it across the back of The Franchise...but at the last second, Patrick slides out of the ring and yanks the chair from Dan Black! CABOOSE Look at Nick growing a set out there tonight! Black turns and scowls at the ref, who throws the chair down and swipes his arms out, calling "No!" towards the former IntenseZone power broker. Black waves a finger in the face of Patrick, trash talking him, while Zack pushes himself up to his feet just a few feet away. "You don't know what you've just done." claims Black, as he taunts Patrick. Nick tries to order him back to the ring, but Black blows him off, turning around... ...AND FALLS VICTIM TO ZACK MALIBU, WHO SOARS DOWN FROM THE RING APRON! COLE Apron Run Diving Clothesline from Zack Malibu, and we haven't seen that in quite some time! CABOOSE It's Vintage Malibu these days, Cole! Malibu hurriedly picks the stunned Black up and rolls him into the ring, then climbs the turnbuckles. Black gets to his feet and shakes his head, trying to regain his composure, then turns around to see Malibu coming at him with a missle dropkick...and swats it away! Malibu lands with a hard thud, then slowly tries to push up to all fours...but as he does Dan Black grabs his arm and tries to yank him back down to the mat, looking for the Heart Of Ice! CABOOSE C'mon Zack! COLE Fight it! Fight it! Malibu tries to stand upright, but Black is forcing it...forcing it...until Zack rolls forward, escaping from the armlock. He goes for a ROARING ELBOW~! once again in the contest, but it's ducked, and Black grabs the waist and lifts...but Malibu floats over the suplex attempt, then tries one of his own...and Black floats over Zack's try at it! Dan then hammers at the back of the neck with forearms and grabs an inverted facelock, but Malibu swings his arm up and nails Dan in the side of the face once...twice...and the hold! Dan reels, but comes at Zack when the Preppy One turns around...and gets planted with an inverted atomic drop, which is then followed up with a Northern Lights Suplex! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Dan Black bridges out, locking his arms around the waist of Malibu as they come to their feet. Dan readies Malibu for a powerbomb and lifts, but Zack uses the momentum to carry himself over Dan's back and roll him up with a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! NO! Dan Black rolls through, and NAILS Zack in the chin with a brutal basement dropkick, as the crowd gives polite applause to the efforts of both men! CABOOSE You don't have to like Dan Black to respect his ability. He's matched Malibu hold for hold and counter for counter so far. COLE One mistake is all it takes though, and both men are seeking out that opening more than anything. Malibu comes to his feet, but so does Black, who runs behind him and shoves him chest first into the turnbuckles! Malibu collides hard, then finds himself crotched on the top rope, as Black lifts him up onto the top turnbuckle. Dan then moves out to the apron and climbs the ropes, balancing himself on the third rope and reaching down for Zack...but Malibu grabs Black's legs and dumps him over his shoulders out of desperation! Black cringes after hitting the mat from such a height, and Malibu starts to push himself up off the ropes...however Black sees this as he's coming to and charges, running up the ropes...AND HITTING A RELEASE GERMAN OFF THE TURNBUCKLES ON ZACK MALIBU! COACH YO~! Black tossed Malibu so quickly that Zack wound up landing face first instead of taking the usual neck drop. Black gathers himself and moves over, dragging Zack towards him and rolling him onto his back, as Nick Patrick comes down to make the count. ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT! Malibu throws up a shoulder at the last instant, and the crowd comes alive! This does not please Black, who pulls Zack up and quickly hits a German Suplex, then rolls through, bringing both men back to their feet, and hitting another German! Black brings he and Zack both back up to their feet and holds Zack, then jabs an elbow into the back of Zack's neck several times before grabbing his waist and this time dumping him over his shoulder and straight down on the top of his head! COLE Backdrop driver from Dan Black, and he is determined to break Zack Malibu's neck! With Malibu downed, Black starts stomping on his upper back and neck, then hits the ropes and comes off with a legdrop to the back of the neck, doing further damage! Dan then stands up and starts stomping viciously on the back of Zack's neck, forcing Zack to take cover by rolling away and clutching his neck...but Dan follows and kicks at his fallen body and kicks him right under the bottom rope to the floor! CABOOSE Once again this match goes to the outside, which is the last place either man should want to be, given the hostility involved. Black follows his foe to the outside, sneering at the fans as he leads Malibu to his feet and Irish whips him across ringside...but at the last second Malibu turns the tide, reversing the move and sending Dan Black into the railing! The crowd roars as they see their favorite mounting a comeback, as Zack charges ahead like a freight train towards Black...and gets backdropped over the railing! Malibu lands on his feet in the front row and quickly pulls himself together so that he can leap onto the railing and springboard off of it, nailing Black with a flying clothesline! Once again the crowd roars, and Zack starts hammering on Black with lefts and rights, pounding on him like they're in a bar fight rather than a wrestling match! Dan tries to shield himself from the blows, but Zack simply drags him to his feet and goes to post him...but Black shoves Zack off and rams his shoulder into the post! Malibu stumbles back, stunned, and Dan Black takes him by the head and hurls him headfirst into the post! COACH Can you say "ouch"? CABOOSE Only when listening to you call a match. Black wipes the sweat from his brow and flicks it off his fingers at Zack, who comes up from the floor with a forehead dripping blood. COLE Zack's been busted wide open after being sent into the steel, and... CLANG! Dan Black whips Zack Malibu into the ring steps! Malibu remains in the position he landed in, seated against the steps that were knocked inches away from the ring. Black then runs forwards and gets his foot up, driving the sole of his boot into Malibu's forehead, kicking his head against the steel! Black backs away and raises his arms up in triumph, as if to tell the crowd "I told you so". He then leads Zack up and rolls him back into the ring, then slides in after him, pulling him right up and DRILLING him with a hard powerbomb, holding the legs down for a pin! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! A cheer of relief comes up from the crowd, as Malibu rolled a shoulder up! Black, unaffected by his enemy's resilience, pulls him into a headscissors again, then lifts him up, holding him upside down vertically and cradling the leg before spiking his head on the canvas! COLE THE ICE BREAKER! THE ICE BREAKER! CABOOSE Dan Black harkened back to the days of Mystery Eskimo and busted out his once trademark Cradle Piledriver! Having worked the neck since the early going, Black stretches himself across Zack, a look of sure victory on his face as Patrick slaps the mat. ONE! TWO THREE............................NO! COLE YES! Zack is still alive! Black pounds the canvas and gets up, stalking Patrick and asking him what his deal is. Patrick notes that he counted fair and square, but that's not what Black wants to hear, and he blows him off. Dan pulls Zack up, and Malibu can't even stand on his own, as he's braced by Black, who uses his free hand to lightly slap Malibu across the face and taunt him...UNTIL MALIBU BREAKS AWAY AND CONNECTS WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT! COACH WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!? Malibu immediately falls to the mat, spent. Black lays near him, knocked silly from the superkick that Malibu was able to muster somehow. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" The chants of the fans are heard loud and clear, as Malibu, dazed and bloodied, struggles to get near Dan Black and make a cover. He slowly gets to him, and simply lays an arm across his chest, too tired for anything else. ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! KICKOUT! COLE Black kicks out! Dan Black kicked out of School's Out! CABOOSE If Zack were able to get the pin immediately afterwards, it would have probably been over. Exhaustion weighed heavily on that result, because Zack was able to capitalize in time! Zack pushes up to his feet, then nearly falls over, falling back to the ropes, which saves him from losing his balance. He moves in for the kill, pulling Dan Black up...but as he reaches for Black, his arm is locked and he's taken to the mat! DAN BLACK HAS HIM IN THE HEART OF ICE! COACH NO! C'MON ZACKY! The crowd is at a fever pitch, as Malibu is now trapped in Dan Black's submission hold. The grisly visual is a reminder of the night Black T turned on Malibu, as the bloody prep is locked in the vicious clutch of his former stablemate! Zack struggles, looking for an out, as Patrick keeps an eye on Zack, waiting for any possible signs of submission. Zack flails his arm, trying to reach the ropes, but he's not even close. Malibu then goes to his last resort, trying to push up off the canvas while in the hold, which is easier said than done given his physical state. Black, equally worn, struggles to keep the hold on, but Zack keeps pushing...pushing...and makes it to his knees! Black stands up, still keeping the head locked tight, as Zack fights up to his feet... ...THEN GETS KICKED IN THE STOMACH AND NAILED WITH A BLACKOUT! CABOOSE BLACKOUT! This may be Dan Black's night after all! ONE! TWO! THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COACH YES! HE GOT OUT MIKEY! CABOOSE Atta boy, Zackary. The crowd is elated, as Zack Malibu somehow, some way, got a shoulder up and kicked out of the Blackout. The same move that put his girlfriend in a hospital bed. Black, angered, simply rolls Malibu onto his stomach and yanks back on his head...AND ONCE AGAIN APPLIES THE HEART OF ICE! COLE Oh my God, not again! CABOOSE I hate to say it, but that's a sound strategy by Dan Black. One move, while very effective, didn't work. To follow it up with a move of this nature this late in the contest...he's almost guaranteed victory! Black rears back, pulling on Malibu's head and feeling the droplets of blood spatter on his own forearms, as Zack is trapped in his clutch. Malibu can barely move his free arm, as his body is limp, spent from all the time on both offense and defense. He makes an effort to grab the ropes, but can't get to it, as Dan has him in a good spot. Refusing to give up, Malibu keeps pushing, keeps struggling, reaching out for the ropes. Black lets out a war cry, lurching back once again in hopes of causing the submission, but Malibu presses on. Muffled cries of agony are heard from behind his crimson mask as he stretches his arm out, trying to shift his body just a little further...and FINALLY, Zack Malibu manages to slide his arm under the bottom rope, which causes Nick Patrick to ask for a break, to the delight of the crowd! COLE He escaped! Zack got out of it...wait, look at this! Black, not pleased, gets up and delivers a vicious stomp to Zack's lower back, then drags him away from the ropes, diving down to reapply the Heart of Ice...but Malibu manages to slip his head out of the hold and comes up behind a standing Dan Black...AND HITS HIM WITH AN ANGLE SLAM!?!??!?! COLE Did he just... COACH Was that...I mean... CABOOSE ANGLE SLAM! Shades of Anglesault himself! Once again, both men are down, and the crowd is electric, roaring, yelling, clapping and stomping. COLE Fans, we are witnessing a classic here. No matter how you feel about Dan Black, or if you think Zack Malibu is "for real", this contest proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that they've earned everything...EVERYTHING they've ever gotten in their OAOAST careers! As both men look up at the lights, hating themselves for what their bodies are feeling, Zack is the first to stir. Slowly he gets up, coming to his feet and pacing the ring, nearly losing his balance as he's experienced exhaustion and significant blood loss. Malibu reaches down for Black, but as he does, Black brings him down in a cradle! COLE He was playing possum! ONE! TWO! ROLL THROUGH! ZACK MALIBU LIFTS FOR THE POP DR...NO! BLACK COUNTERS WITH ANOTHER SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! ROLL THROUGH AGAIN INTO A SMALL PACKAGE BY MALIBU! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CABOOSE Good lord Michael Cole, I feel like a young mark again! COME ON ZACK! Both men to their feet, and Black charges Malibu with a YAKUZA KICK~!...WHICH IS BLOCKED BY A MATRIX DUCK! As Malibu comes up to a standing position, Black hooks both arms, locking on a full nelson, but before anything further can happen, Zack swings around and shoves him towards the ropes, catching him on the rebound with a spine shattering powerslam! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT BEFORE THE THREE! The crowd boos the count, hoping for sure that Zack would have sealed the deal right there. With Black down and out, Malibu gets up and looks around, then moves slowly towards the corner, drawing a big pop from the crowd. COLE What's he going for here? Zack begins to climb, taking his time, as the fans here and at home watch, holding their breath. Malibu gets to the top rope and turns around to face Black, who is just starting to come up. He lifts his head to see Zack trying to balance himself and quickly runs forward into the ropes, shaking them so that Zack crotches himself on the top! CABOOSE Oh no... Black, moving at a slow pace as well, goes to the corner and climbs the ropes, grabbing Zack by the head. He pulls him up onto his feet, and both men are teetering on the top rope, each one trying to get a good grip. Suddenly, Malibu rocks Black with a headbutt, staining the face of the egomaniac with blood, then throws an arm across his chest... ...AND BUSTS OUT THE ROCK BOTTOM BACKBREAKER FROM THE TOP ROPE INTO THE RING BELOW~! COACH YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Zack kicks around on the canvas, favoring his knee a bit due to the impact of dropping Dan Black's carass across it. Black lay motionless, his body twisted and mangled and sprawled out across the mat, as he hasn't done anything but breathe since he was taken off the top rope and down across the knee of Zack Malibu. COLE It took as much out of Zack as it did out of Black, and now it's all about who can get up first. CABOOSE I don't know if either of them CAN get up! Zack rolls across the blood stained canvas to the ropes, using them as an aid in getting to his feet, while Black does the same exact thing across the ring. At the same time, both men come up and turn around, locking eyes like two cowboys in the Old West preparing to duel. They both bolt towards each other, arms cocked back, and start punching away, trading blows like two prizefighters, as the crowd screams in approval! COLE Both of these men are too proud to quit, too proud to fall! Look at them! They continue trading punches, until Black drives a knee into Zack's gut, knocking him to all fours. Dan then pulls him back to his feet, yanking him towards him for a short arm clothesline, but Zack ducks and goes around, rolling Black up with a schoolboy! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BLACK IS UP! Black hits a running elbow that stuns Zack, driving him back a few steps, then kicks him in the gut and hooks both arms, pulling Zack down into the canvas headfirst with the Pitch Black! CABOOSE ANOTHER hard hitting, trademark move from Dan Black! This might be the end! ONE! TWO! THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The crowd roars, but Dan Black is not happy, as he gets up and grabs Patrick by the collar, screaming in his face about what he thinks is a bad call. Patrick begs off, telling Black he's just doing his job. Patrick gets thrown into the corner by Black, but Dan feels as though he's scared him enough, and turns back to Zack... INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT...NO! DAN CATCHES THE FOOT AND SWINGS ZACK AROUND...BUT ZACK COUNTERS WITH A JUMPING BACK MULE KICK SENDING DAN INTO THE CORNER! Zack rolls forward after the move, coming up to his feet, then charges the corner, leaping into the air and crushing Dan Black with a jumping corner splash! Black staggers forward, walking right into the arms of Zack, who scoops him up by his head and cradles a leg... ...AND SPIKES HIM WITH THE FALLING STAR DRIVER~! COLE HE GOT HIM! COACH PIN THE MAN! PIN HIM! Malibu, bruised and bloodied, lays across the chest of the unconscious black, pulling up the leg of his foe in hopes of keeping him down for three. ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DING! DING! DING! COLE He did it! He did it! CABOOSE For Candie, for the company, for himself...all right Zack! "Getting Away With Murder" hits, as the fans leap to their feet, roaring in approval of that extremely hard fought victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Zack slowly rises to his feet, his wrist grabbed by Patrick to have his arm thrown up in victory. Zack wipes the blood from his eyes and staggers away from Patrick, throwing his own hands up before collapsing to his knees. COLE What a battle...what a war that one was. It didn't get any more personal than that match right there, folks. Zack, exhausted, rolls out under the bottom rope, where he's met by road agents and trainers to guide him back to the dressing room. Malibu walks back on his own, trying to catch his breath for once. Back in the ring Patrick checks on Black, who is barely moving, and probably has quite the headache at this point in time. CABOOSE Folks, if that didn't prove that Zack Malibu is for real, I don't know what you want from the man. That was one hell of a contest. I'd go so far as to say that had Match Of The Year written all over it. COLE To think that was the first time ever major singles match between the two, dating all the way back to the days of Mystery Eskimo and The In Crowd. COACH They certainly didn't disappoint! COLE One member of Black T failed to make good on his promise tonight, but we still have a destiny to be fulfilled by the other. Can Tony Brannigan become the World Heavyweight Champion tonight at Living Angleously? We're going to find out soon enough! 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NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 (edited) Cut to: Close-up of Michael Cole at Sofa Central, a wireless microphone in his hand. COLE It's been a great night of action, and we're not done yet. Our HUGE main event is up next. And I'd like to bring in the man who will join me at Sofa Central for our main event, Jesse "The Body" Ventura! The camera pans back to reveal "The Body" standing next to Michael Cole, wearing only blue jeans and a blazer. Nothing outlandish. Jesse pumps his fist as chants of... "JESSE!" "JESSE!" "JESSE!" ...ring throughout the arena. COLE Wow, Jess, you look... I haven't seen you dress so well-mannered in years. VENTURA I want to look good for Tony's victory celebration after the show. COLE We'll soon find out if that'll be the case. What a main event we have coming up -- Tony Brannigan vs. Axel for the OAOAST Championship. VENTURA Living Angleously has been built on the greatest tag team wrestlers meeting the greatest singles wrestlers for the first-time ever. We already saw one helluva match between Dan Black and that so-called franchise Zack Malibu. But we got the real franchise coming up next, Michael Cole. Tony Brannigan. I've said it TV. I've said it on OAOAST.com and on our 900 number. I'm predicting a new Heavyweight Champion of the World. The OAOAST will be under Brannigan's Law. BOOOOOOOOO! COLE Not a very popular opinion, according to those inside the Staples Center. VENTURA And I'd fight for their right to express that opinion, no matter how wrong they may be -- and they are in this case. COLE This past Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, Jess, we saw Tony Brannigan pinned Axel during the main event tag match featuring Black T vs. Axel and Zack Malibu. What effect does that have on the Champion coming into this match? VENTURA If Axel's mentally tough -- and I don't know that he is -- it shouldn't have any effect. Yes, he got pinned. Yes, Brannigan is the better man in so many arenas. But it's one match. The title wasn't on the line, so you gotta suck it up and go onto your next battle. COLE As this match wears on, who do you think has the advantage? Axel is coming in hurting; a bruised lower back courtesy of Tony Brannigan hitting him with the nightstick at the press conference earlier in the week. VENTURA And yet the guy was stupid enough to go through with the tag match Thursday night. Still, I gotta say the champion. It's his first title defense on pay-per-view. In addition to his "injury" -- which is just a bruise, people! -- I think he's gonna be a little tight to start things off, and the longer the match goes the more comfortable he'll get. If I'm Tony Brannigan, I gotta go in there and go for some quick pins early, cast a little doubt into the champion's mind, and that won't be hard to do considering he got pinned Axel square in the center of the ring a few days ago on national TV. COLE Are you ready, partner? VENTURA I'm ready. COLE Then let's go up to the ring! Cole and Jesse look into the camera, a goofy smile on Cole's face, as we cut from Sofa Central to the ring, where Michael Buffer stands in the center in a white tuxedo and black bow-tie, a microphone in his right hand. "He's simply ravishing...OWWWWWW!" The song may be called "Simply Ravishing," but the fans think otherwise, booing the challenger viciously as he steps through the curtain onto the stage wearing an elegant white robe covered in rhinestones and gold feather boa around the collar, wrists and ankles; on the back: a diamond-embroider star with "BRANNIGAN" written over it in rhinestones . VENTURA Oh, yeah. Now...Now, that's how a champion dresses. I heard all the top fashion designers in the world had a battle royal to determine who got the contract to design that cool-lookin' robe. COLE The challenger looking ravishing, indeed. But he'll have to win the World Title wrestling, not on looks alone. As Brannigan enters the ring, a sign held in the background reads: "TONY BRANNIGAN FOR PRESIDENT DAN BLACK FOR PRIME MINISTER" VENTURA I'd feel safe in that world. President Brannigan and Prime Minister Black. COLE (sarcastically) I'm sure that's what John Lennon imagined. BOOM! Through the cloud of smoke appears Axel, his dark leather coat and OAOAST Title flapping in the air as he runs out onto the stage while Limp Bizkit's "Eat You Alive" blares through the speakers. The Champion receiving a a thunderous ovation from the sold-out Staples Center crowd, scattered "AXEL" chants that are mostly drown out due to the cheers and screams. Halfway down the aisle, Axel stops. As do the cheers, surprisingly enough. He points at each section of the arena, all of which chant "AXEL" when pointed to. CRUCIFIX POSE~! BOOM! COLE What an entrance. Fans, I wish you could be here to feel this. Feel me up, Jess... VENTURA I'd rather not. COLE (CONT'D) ...I have goosebumps. The only way to experience this is by coming out to a live OAOAST event, be it TV, pay-per-view or our non-televised event. It's like Executive Vice President of OAOAST Entertainment "Cowboy" Bill Watts said: Our superstars give 110% every night they're in that ring. VENTURA Nobody lives forever, Cole. You give it all you got now, and pay later. COLE Especially for the OAOAST Championship. VENTURA Absolutely. * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is the main event of the evening, scheduled for one fall, for the Heavyweight Championship of the World! Sanction by the California State Athletic Commission and the OAOAST Board of Directors. When the bell rings your referee in-charge of the action, senior official Earl Hebner. Introducing first, the challenger. Wearing white with gold trim... Brannigan is showered with boos as he steps towards the center of the ring and stands in front of the hard camera. He sneers as the boos grow louder. BUFFER (CONT'D) ...weighing in tonight at 272 pounds, from Rancho Magnifico in Hollywood U.S.A., he's simply rrrravishing... TONY BRAAAAAAAANIGANNNNNN! Brannigan loosens the belt around his robe and slowly takes it off, gently dropping it on the canvas to reveal his trademark artwork tights -- OAOAST Title on the groin region, various women looking up at him on the pant legs, with a cartoon face of Axel bruised up and with knocked out teeth on the back, a caption bubble reading: "I just got my ass kicked by Tony Brannigan." VENTURA 10 women in the front rows just fainted. COLE Tony's in great shape, no question about that. He's lost 20 pounds for this match. Obviously not in 3 days, but over the last couple of months. He said he wanted to quicken his speed. Brannigan treats us to a double bicep pose most body builders would die for, then walks over to a netural corner, shaking loose his arms. The crowd murmurs in excitement as Buffer lifts the microphone back to his mouth. BUFFER And his opponent. Wearing red and black, weighing 255 pounds, from Tasmania, Australia, the reigning and defending professional wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOORRLLLD, THIS...IS... AAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL! YEEEEAAAAAHHHH! BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendence and the millions watching around the world... LEEEEEEEEET'S GET READY TO RRRRUMMMMBBBLEEEEE! Axel unsnaps the belt from around his waist and gives it to Earl Hebner who takes it over to Tony Brannigan to see up close. Brannigan rips the belt out of the Hebner's hands and wraps it around his waist, drawing boos from the crowd and a smirk from the champion. After planting a big one on the OAOAST Championship Tony hands it back to the Earl, who then holds it high for all to see. Axel stops by to give it one more pat before going back to his corner. Hebner takes the title over to Michael Buffer on the outside and calls for the bell. * DING DING * COLE The time for talking is over. No more sneak-attacks. All the talking will be done in the ring now. Both men very focus coming into this match. Turning down all media requests for interviews earlier today, including you, Jesse. VENTURA If you can believe that. We begin with a feeling out process. Each man waiting for the other to make the first move. Nobody wanting to make the move that could cost them early. The crowd ROARS as Tony and Axel lockup in the center of the ring. Neither man giving an inch as they jockey for position. They break and give a slight nod to one another before locking up again. Collar-and-elbow tieup into a side headlock. Brannigan backs Axel against the ropes and fires him across the ring. Tony leans his shoulder forward and rams it into Axel's, knocking him down with a shoulderblock. Quick cover. ONE... TWO... AXEL KICKS OUT. With a wry smirk on his face, Axel watches Brannigan prance around the ring, a big smile on his face, gesturing he was thisclose from becoming the new World Heavyweight Champion. Confident -- and cocky -- as ever, Tony calls Axel over, wanting to lockup with him again. "I'll take it easy on you this time," he says. Axel slaps his biceps and then locks back up with Brannigan. Tony drops to a knee as Axel grabs a side headlock and wrenches the head. VENTURA Axel's trying to give him cauliflower ears. A guy as sexy as Tony don't deserve that. Look at him grab the tights! COLE He is not. Tony shoots Axel across the ring. The Champion ducks under a LEAPFROG from Brannigan, the big guy showing great agility, and waits for Tony to turn around... ...NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! Tony crawls to the corner and rests against the turnbuckles. His jaw drops as Axel walks up to him, grinning, gesturing he was thisclose from retaining his title. Furious, Brannigan gets up and throws a fit, stompping the mat and kicking the ropes nearby. He runs up to the champion, cussing like a sailor, and takes a swing. Axel blocks the blow and sends Brannigan flying back with a STIFF UPPERCUT. Determine to get back at Axel, Tony pops right back up. And flops right back down following another brutal uppercut. But Brannigan shows children around the world never to give up, as he gets right back up, and whipped into the corner. BACKDROP! VENTURA Tony deserves a purple heart for this courage. COLE The only thing he's getting is an ass-kicking. Brannigan rises back to his feet and ducks a right hand from Axel. The Champion quickly ad-libs and kicks Brannigan in the sternum, with the toe of the boot no less -- EVENFLOW DDT! VENTURA He hit him with the toe of the boot, Cole! That ain't legal. That chump, Hebner, can't count that. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! COLE Oh, my. We were inches, just inches away from this match being over. Tony Brannigan just got his shoulder up. Tell me, Jess, why is it that some guys are able to put away an opponent with a certain move, such as a DDT, while others can't? VENTURA Training. Take the Heavenly Rockers for example: They spent countless hours perfecting the DDT. Then you got guys like Axel whose go-to move isn't the DDT, so while he might put a guy away every now and then with the move, it isn't his number one option. Brannigan clutches his head as Axel picks him up, his noggin taking quite the bump from the DDT. Irish whip. While Brannigan goes to the right side of the ropes, Axel hits the left with a full head of steam. FLYING LARIAT! But a woozy Brannigan manages to stay on his feet, jelly-legged and all! Brannigan staggers towards the ropes and falls through to the outside. A 5 second delay there, I guess. The fans rise to their feet as Axel rushes to the corner and begins climbing up the turnbuckles. Perched on the top like a crow, he waits for Brannigan to turn around... ...TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINE TO THE OUTSIDE! The crowd ERUPTS following the high-risk maneuver from the 6'3, 255 pound World Champion. Axel makes a couple of fans' day by slapping their hands, before bringing Tony back to his f-- Brannigan knees the OAOAST Champion in the ribs. Just as he's about to ram Axel into the guardrail, Axel stuns him with a backhand slap to the midsection and swipes Brannigan's left arm from his head, then RAMS TONY HEAD-FIRST INTO THE GUARDRAIL! VENTURA If this were under HI-YAH rules that would of been a disqualification. COLE Well, this isn't under HI-YAH rules. This for the OAOAST Championship. So as the kids say, quit yer bitchin'. WHAP! COLE Owww! I'm not Coach. VENTURA You're The Body's bitch today. Brannigan nosedives on the arena floor, rubbing his forehead to ease some of the sting from the cold, rusty steel. Axel grabs a handful of tights and casually tosses Tony back into the ring. Brannigan catches Axel coming back onto the apron with a swinging right hand to the left temple. He hooks Axel's head under his left arm and takes him up over the apron -- but Axel FLOATS OVER and lands on his feet. GERMAN SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Axel doesn't waste anytime moving on, hooking Brannigan's left leg under his arm and rolling him over onto his stomach. AXEL GRINDER! Single-leg crab. COLE How about that? Axel digging deep into the playbook tonight. VENTURA Smart move by the champion. A lot of fans at home are probably questioning the decision to apply a submission maneuver rather than hitting another high-impact move and going for the pin. You gotta remember, these are well-conditioned wrestlers. The odds of either guy putting the other away under 10 minutes is small. This is for the OAOAST Title. Both men have trained for the long haul. You gotta wear down your opponent with everything you got before going for the kill. Axel goes to a simple yet effective hold to wear down his opponent while giving himself a quick breather. It's a punk move, but you'd expect that out of a punk. COLE A punk move?! You just said it was smart. VENTURA Yeah, but it's still a punk move. Tony cries out in pain, scratching and clawing his way to the ropes. But Axel PULLS HIM BACK TOWARDS THE CENTER OF THE RING, the fans cheering wildly as Brannigan covers his head with his hands, screaming in pain. Axel sits back, tugging on that leg, stretching out the ligaments even further. Hebner asks Brannigan if he wants to quit, to which Tony replies: "Fuck you!" Ventura chuckles following that two word answer. Tony tries pushing up out of the Grinder but cannot. He did, however, ease some of the weight sitting down on him by pushing up. Axel rolls Brannigan over and picks him back up -- STRONG CLOTHESLINE~! Cover made. ONE... TWO... BRANNIGAN KICKS OUT AND ROLLS ONTO HIS SIDE! COLE Front facelock applied. My broadcast colleague Jesse Ventura talked about how comfortable Axel would become as the match worn out, and he's certainly been right. Normally it's the challenger playing the mind games on the champion, not the other way around. Axel keeping the pressure on Brannigan. VENTURA I gotta give the Champion of the World credit, he knows he can't lose unless he's pinned, and by keeping Brannigan grounded, he can't pin 'em. Brannigan rises to his knees, wrapping his arms around Axel's waist and takes him up, but his left knee buckles. Axel clearly having some fun seeing Tony struggling, after all he's put him through in the last couple of weeks. The Champion reaches over Tony's back with his right hand and pulls his tights up, giving the challenger a wedgie, which Hebner warns him about -- for grabbing the tights, that is. Brannigan brings himself back to a vertical base and lifts Axel up in the air, taking him to the corner nearby and DROPPING HIM GROIN-FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE! The crowd groans, as most men in the world. Tony hits the ropes and CLOTHESLINES Axel to the arena floor. Axel falling a good 8-10 feet from the ring. COLE Is that--Is that a disqualification right there, Jesse? It looked pretty premeditated to me. VENTURA No way. Axel had Brannigan reeling for a while there, so he didn't know where he was at. Besides, it ain't Tony's fault Axel don't know his ring surroundings. The ring is a professional wrestler's sixth sense, you know. Brannigan favors his left knee as he heads. The multi-time Tag Team champion stomps Axel who is slumped against the guardrail. Earl Hebner gives one last warning before starting to count both men out. Brannigan with a waistlock, he drives Axel into the guardrail and then turns him around and rams him into the edge of the apron, working over that weaken back. Axel tossed back into the ring. Brannigan climbs on the apron and heads to the top. He times his move for the right moment, Axel not knowing what's awaiting him at the top as he gets back up, his back facing the corner. Brannigan off the top with a CLUBBERING SHOT TO THE BACK! The arrogant challenger stands over the fallen champion and swivels his hips, wiping the beads of sweat on his forehead and flicking it onto Axel. Brannigan measures his opponent and repeatedly drops the knee into the spine of the back. Completely in control of the match, Brannigan continues to focus on the back, grinding the knee into it and yanking back on Axel's neck, causing the champion to let out a manly shriek. Tony tells Earl to ask Axel if he wants to quit. Muffled, Axel says no. Brannigan brings the Champion back to his feet and sends him reeling into the corner following a hard forearm shot to the jaw. There, Tony punishes him with more forearms. Brannigan watches with glee as Axel slumps against the turnbuckles, the only thing keeping him up at this point. Axel gets pouned in the corner with a combination of forearm shots and kneelifts to the sternum. After calls for a clean break fall on deaf ears referee Earl Hebner wiggles between the two men to separate them. Brannigan places his forearms on the Champion's chest and slowly backs away. WHAP! The fans "ooh" at Brannigan's total lack of respect for the World Champion. Slapping him insultingly. COLE Uh, I think it's safe to say he shouldn't have done that. A furious Axel chases Tony around the ring. The challenger no longer arrogant, but scared. Brannigan cowers between the ropes, asking Earl to keep the champ back. Hebner tries to, but Axel lifts him up and places him on the side. Axel reaches through the ropes and grabs a handful of Tony's hair, pulling him back in. The Champion corners Brannigan against the turnbuckles and hits him with an onslaught of punches and bodyshots, Tony doing his best to cover up. Axel slaps away his hands and... CHOP! "WHOOOOOOOO" CHOP! "WHOOOOOOOO" CHOP! "WHOOOOOOOO" COP! "WHOOOOOOOO" Brannigan grabs his now red-chest, an imprint of Axel's right hand etched on his left pec, as if he received a bad sun burn. Tony attempts to get out of the corner, but Axel shoves him back and SLAPS HIM ACROSS THE FACE, a wad of spit flying out of Brannigan's mouth. A collectors item, no doubt. Irish whip. Brannigan sent to the opposite corner across the ring, Axel charging behind with a clothesline, Tony moves out of the way and sends Axel sternum-first into the top turnbuckle. Axel bounces back and staggers towards Brannigan, who kicks him and delivers the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER! VENTURA He hit it! COLE This is it. It could all over here. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! AXEL GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Tony sits on his knees, tilting his head back while holding his hands in his face. He wanted it to be over right there. Brannigan stands over Axel's torso and drops a succession of forearms to the sternum, before relying on an old rulebreaking tatic: an illegal choke. Hebner demands the release of the choke hold, Brannigan brushing him off. ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR.... FI-- Tony RAISES HIS HANDS to show he broke the hold. VENTURA Brannigan doing everything by the book. COLE You call that "by the book"? It looked like a choke to me. VENTURA It was. But notice how Brannigan kept choking until the very last second. That comes with experience. COLE Imagine that -- Jesse Ventura condoning a violation of the rules. VENTURA Bending of the rules is more like it. I'd rather do it to my opponent before he does it to me. Look at Axel, Cole, you tellin' me that guy ain't never broken no rules before? (scoffs) Just look at him, then look at Tony. Who do you want your daughter dating? It ain't Axel, I tell you that. He beats beautiful women like Crystal. COLE She's no woman; she's a witch. And he didn't beat her. VENTURA I don't know about you, but, to me, a man hitting a woman is abuse. Brannigan with a snapmare takedown into a reverse chinlock. Tony using this as an opportunity to inflict punishment and gives himself a quick time out. The sweat drips down Brannigan's face onto the hair of the champion. Axel squirms as Tony tightens his grip and cranks back on the neck. COLE There's that "punk move" you talked about Jesse. VENTURA That ain't no punk move. COLE What?! Earlier you said-- VENTURA Unlike Axel, Tony isn't using a reverse chinlock to give himself a quick breather. COLE You really are a politician, aren't you? VENTURA The world's most dangerous man. Axel looks Tony straight in the eyes as he drops the point of the elbow across the forehead. The cover. ONE... TWO... TH-- NO! Axel still has more fight left in him. Tony scoopes -- No, Axel floats over and catches Brannigan with a kick to the midsection. Front facelock into a STALLING BRAINBUSTER. The crowd "ooh's" and "aah's" as the OAOAST Champion showed a tremendous amount of strength holding the 6'6', 272 pound challenger up in the air for a good 10-15 seconds -- letting the blood rush to Tony's head -- before falling back down on the mat, the sound of both men's bodies hitting the canvas echoing throughout the Staples Center. Axel grimances as he makes the cover. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! OOH! COLE The crowd thought he had it. So did I. Axel gets up gingerly, then swipes his thumb across his throat. COLE Uh-oh. This spells bad news for the challenger. Axel has trouble lifting Tony onto his shoulderblades for a DVD, but he still powers him up. VENTURA I gotta question the champ here. He don't look right. Axel floats Tony up in the air, 3/4 facelocking the head -- BUT TONY LANDS ON HIS FEET AND HITS A BACK SUPLEX INTO A BRDIGE! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! VENTURA Axel just got the shoulder up. But he's hurting more than ever now. COLE The brave young champion grabbing his back. As we mentioned, Axel has a very large bruise on his lower back thanks to Tony Brannigan and his actions at the press conference held earlier this week, attacking Axel with a nightstick. The near brush with defeat seems to have re-energized Brannigan who notices the champion lying on the mat injured. He works over the back with forearm and kneedrops. He picks Axel back up and applies a waistlock, driving him into the corner where he turns Axel around so that he's pressed up against the turnbuckles stomach-first. Brannigan pounds the back with those Popeye the Sailor man-like forearm shots. Axel rests his head on the top turnbuckle, groaning, while Tony rams his shoulder into the back. He pulls Axel out of the corner and hooks him from behind -- BACK SUPLEX. Cover made. ONE... TWO... THRE-- KICKOUT! VENTURA You know, I don't like Axel, and I've made it known I'm rooting for Tony, but even I gotta admit he's showing some ring smarts. He milked that count until the very last split-second before kicking out. But Brannigan showed his smarts, too. Pressing all his weight down on Axel, making him kickout, not just get his shoulder up. Brannigan lifts Axel up in a sidewalk slam position, then drops him across his knee. BACKBREAKER. Axel rolls off Tony's knee and onto his stomach, still clutching his back. Brannigan stands over Axel, cradles his (Axel's) chin with his hand and sits down, pulling back on the neck. A modified version of the camel clutch. COLE Both men digging deep into the playbook tonight. VENTURA When the Heavyweight Championship of the World is on the line, you better pull out all the stops. Title shots are few and far between. Look at Dan Marino. He reached the Super Bowl in his second year in the NFL. He automatically assumed that since he was still young he'd get a few more cracks at the brass ring before it was all said and done. He never got there again. "Give it it, mate! Give it up!" Tony shouts with an arrogant smile into Axel's ear. Earl asking if he wants to give it up. Axel emphatically says no. He didn't get this far to quit now. Axel rises on his forearms and knees, prompting Brannigan to jump up in the air and crash all his weight down on the champion. He re-applies that sitting reverse chinlock, cranking back on the neck even more. Axel, again, tries rising up, this time Tony toys with him, flexing his biceps over Axel. Brannigan leaps in the air and crashes down...ON AXEL'S SHINS! Brannigan, who just groined himself, stradles the shins, frozen. Axel reaches up and wraps his right hand around Tony's throat. He gets back up and sets Tony up for a CHOKESLAM -- BUT GETS KICKED IN THE GROIN! Brannigan follows that up with a CLOBBERING SHOT to the back and then a kneelift to the midsection, before front facelocking the head and slowly turning around for the RUDE AWAKENING. But AXEL BREAKS FREE, spins Brannigan around, kicks him in the gut and hits him with his own ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT PILEDRIVER! The crowd is going wild, but after Axel falls on his BUTT, he falls backwards, too tired to make a cover. COLE Brannigan's head bounced off the canvas like a basketball. But even after having his head spiked into the mat, Brannigan alertly rolls towards the ropes. VENTURA That chump hit Tony with his own Attitude Adjustment piledriver! In Hollywood there's something called copyright infringement. That's exactly what Axel comitted. Copyright infringement. I bet he's proud of himself. Freak. COLE That's no freak, Jesse. That's the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. That's the man who defeated 14 of the biggest stars in the OAOAST to win the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza. That's the man who defeated his ex-girlfriend and "Reckless" Drek Stone at Anglemania IV to capture his first World Title. Tony squints his eyes as Axel makes the cover, hooking the leg. ONE... TWO... THRE-- TONY GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE. Brannigan falls outside, clutching his neck as he lies face-first on the arena floor. Axel uses the time out as well, bending forward and clutching at his back, in considerable pain. The champion goes on the offensive, rolling to the outside after his opponent, and driving Brannigan’s head into the guardrail, and rolling the challenger back into the squared circle. Axel follows Tony into the ring and grabs him by the hair, being admonished by the referee for doing so. Axel grabs Tony’s head and takes him over with a snapmare and rings his neck! Tony gets up immediately, with a little help from Axel, who takes the challenger down with a second snapmare, and then a third! Tony grabs the back of his neck after the wrenching he just sustained, but Axel forces the hand away, instead landing a hard boot right to the back of the neck of T-Bod! COLE Tony decided to try and injure the back of the champion, so Axel is getting a little revenge by going after the neck! Turnabout IS fair play! VENTURA Michael, gotta give credit where credit is due, Axel is beginning to focus on that neck, because all of his major moves put more pressure on that very body part. It's smart. Thuggish, but smart. COLE I knew you couldn't give a compliment to Axel without also sneaking in a negative comment. VENTURA Hey, its just the way I am. Axel helps Tony to his feet, but the help doesn't last long, as Axel buries a knee into the midsection of the challenger. Front face lock applied by Axel, gets Tony up for a suplex... and turns it into a NECKBREAKER at the last second! COLE Amazing move! I've never seen that done before! VENTURA Just goes to show how deep Axel has had to dig into his playbook to face Tony Brannigan tonight. Axel with the cover, hooking the leg... ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOONO! Tony kicks out. COLE And you see there Jesse how Axel put his forearm across the neck of Tony Brannigan as he was making the cover to put more pressure on it. I'm not sure if that's legal, but it works. VENTURA Of COURSE it isn't legal! Its a farce! Disqualify- no wait, don't! Tony can't win the title on a DQ! It's fine! COLE I knew that would change your tune. Axel working over Tony once again, connecting with a stiff European Uppercut, snapping the neck backward. Another front face lock applied by Axel, but this time he keeps the pressure on the neck of Tony with the face lock, before turning the challenger around, steadying.. and DROPPING HIM WITH A NECKBREAKER! COLE Another high impact move, and another cover, here we go! ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... NO! Tony kicks out yet again. COLE Axel isn't out of the woods yet Jesse, so don't worry. We all saw him grimmace ever so slighty after that neckbreaker, as he landed hard on his injured back. Tony's focus on that bodypart is having a severe effect on the champion's momentum. Axel lifts his opponent to his feet and connects with another hard knee to the midsection, before sending him for an Irish Whip. Tony come off of the ropes, Axel tries a Tilt-a-whirl slam on the challenger.. but no dice as Tony fights out of it. Tony with an attempted clothesline, Axel ducks under and grabs Tony's head, dropping him with a REVERSE DDT! COLE Axel dropped Tony with such force on his neck, this has gotta be it! Cover! ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... T-NOOOOOOO! Tony gets a shoulder up to a big "Ooooooooh" from the sold out crowd. VENTURA Man, my heart skipped a beat on that one. Axel asks the referee if that was really a two count, and the referee answers in the affirmative. Axel yells something to the massive crowd who respond in a massive cheer, and the champion is back on the offensive. Irish Whip by Axel, Tony runs into the ropes, comes off, SPINEBUS...NO! Tony holds on.. ...DDT! The crowd pop out of amazement more than anything, that Tony could counter such a move. VENTURA Ha-ha! Beautiful counter! You have to agree with me there Michael! COLE I agree. VENTURA What? I didn't think you were really going to! Both men are down, so the referee utilises his ten count, but he barely counts to one when both men look to gain a vertical base once again. Tony is up to his feet first, but Axel isn't far behind him at all. Both men meet in the center of the ring, and Axel is the first to fire a shot, connecting with a right hand. Tony fires back with a right of his own, and Axel returns the favour once again. One more punch from Tony and one from Axel, and Tony breaks the deadlock by burying a thumb in the champion's eye! COLE Oh, and I bet you think that's really fair! VENTURA You gotta do what you gotta do to become the champion! Tony grabs Axel's left arm and sends him for an Irish Whip... but Axel reverses and throws Tony over the top rope to a huge pop! COLE Tony is thrown to the outside, and the fans are loving this! "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" VENTURA These fans don't know what's good for them! Axel rolls to the outside to meet his challenger, grabbing him by the hair and bringing him to his feet. COLE And now Axel, the One and Only Anglesault Thread Champion, continues the attack on Tony Brannigan. Axel prepares to launch Tony into the steel steps – but Tony reverses and sends Axel back-first into the steps himself! VENTURA But not for long! That’ll rattle your spine! Axel lets out a pain-filled yelp as the steel steps collide with his back, but he is given no time to catch his breath, as Tony Brannigan rolls him back into the ring straight away. Axel gets to his knees, and Tony continues the pressure on his back by landing a forearm right into the middle of the spine. Axel lets out another yelp at this, so Tony does it again, and a third time, not letting Axel get off of his knees. Tony then comes off of the ropes, charges at Axel, and buries a knee onto his back! COLE Tony Brannigan is methodically taking apart the back of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion tonight! VENTURA He’s a grizzled veteran Michael Cole; he picks a body part, focuses in on it, and destroys it. Tony picks Axel up to his feet and sends him for an Irish Whip. Axel comes off of the ropes, Tony grabs him in a Sidewalk Slam position, and drops him over his right knee for a backbreaker! Tony holds onto Axel after the backbreaker though, and spins Axel around, before dropping the champion over his left knee! COLE A double backbreaker by the challenger! Amazing innovative moves by both of these men! VENTURA You can tell that Tony Brannigan had been thinking up that move for quite a while, and just wanted to wait for the right moment to perform it. Well, if there ever was a night that he needed to pull it out, this was that night! Tony grabs Axel and turns him over into a cover... ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOOONO! Axel gets a shoulder up. COLE Just a count away from having a new OAOAST Champion right there, great effort from these two men at this point in the match. Axel tries to get to his feet, still grabbing at his back, but Tony doesn't give him an inch, rolling the champion over onto his stomach, before locking in a Bow and Arrow submission! VENTURA Axel can't get away! The Bow and Arrow will destroy his back! He's done Michael, he's done! He's going to tap out! We're going to have a new champion! COLE Don't get too excited Jesse, you might pass out! Tony Brannigan has the Bow and Arrow locked in! Tony pulls back on the Bow and Arrow, with Axel yelling and shouting in pain, trying to escape the painfull hold. Tony continues the pressure, almost smiling while torturing the champion, knowing that he may only be a tap away from becoming the OAOAST Champion! The referee gets in great position to call the tap, asking the champion if he wants to give up the match, and the championship he faught so hard for. Axel of course says no, while trying to perhaps reach the ropes, or shift his weight so he can get closer to them. COLE Axel may not be able to last much longer, you can see the pain etched on his face! VENTURA And we are going to have a new World Champion Michael, you know as well as I do! After what seems like hours of strugling, Axel finally breaks free of the hold, and gets in the ropes. He is struggling to even move, let alone get up, and Tony Brannigan notices this, forcing the champion to his feet, scooping him up, and slamming him down HARD on his injured back. COLE Whats Tony thinking here? Tony, a slight grin on his face, begins to taunt the crowd, telling them that he will be thier champion soon! The challenger steps between the ropes, and begins to climb to the top rope! COLE How smart is this Jesse, Axel is down, and we don't see Tony go to the top often! VENTURA I'm sure whatever Tony has planned will be great! COLE Well aren't you a supportive parent! Tony reaches the second rope, but doesn't realise that Axel is beginning to stir! He reaches the top, and the champion is up! Adrenaline running through his body, Axel charges over to Tony on the top rope, grabs him... ...and DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! COLE OH MY! WHAT A MOVE! VENTURA How the hell? COLE Both men are down! The referee is counting! We could have a double countout! ONE!!! TWOOO!!! THREEEEE!!! FOOOUUURRR!! Both men beginning to stir... SIXXXX!!!!! SEVEN!!!!!!! EIGHT!!!! Axel is up, but still holding his injured back! Tony is up, but grabbing at his neck, which has taken a severe beating! COLE Who will land the first punch? Tony charges at the champion and delivers a right hand... but it doesn't seem to have much effect, as Axel comes back with a right of his own! And another! A third! A fourth! Bam! Bam! Bam! Axel peppering the challenger with hard rights, one after the other! Axel rears back... ...UPPERCUT SENDS TONY DOWN! COLE Axel is on fire! Adrenaline running through his veins! Axel grabs Tony and sends him for an Irish Whip, Tony comes off of the ropes and tries a clothesline, Axel ducks under and runs to the other side, both men charging... ...RUNNING ENZIGURI BY AXEL!!! COVER! ONE... TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Tony gets a shoulder up! COLE It's amazing how quick the tide can turn in this match. Tony was in control not three minutes ago, but Axel just came right back! VENTURA In a title match Michael, both men are so focused that its hard to tell who is going to come out on top. I still have faith in my boy Tony Brannigan! Axel, a trifle miffed that Tony kicked out, grabs the challenger by the hair, and pulls himto his feet. Another hard right hand later, and Axel yells at the crowd that this is the end! Irish Whip by Axel, Tony comes off of the ropes... ...SPINEBUST-NO! Tony reverses... ...DDT-NO! Axel holds on! COLE Tony went for another DDT from that Spinebuster, but Axe--wow! Axel holds onto Tony, who still has a front face lock applied on him, and instead of a Spinebuster, rotates him over and slams him down for a mid-air Northern Lights Suplex!! COLE WOW! VENTURA Well, that was, uhh, a pretty good move. Axel clutches at his back and rolls over into a cover... ONE.... TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Tony gets a shoulder up again! COLE Its amazing that Tony Brannigan has the strength to kick out! He is showing us something here tonight! VENTURA He had this in him all along! He just needed the opportunity to show it! Axel looks at the crowd, who seem to feel what he feels. A small 'AX-EL! AX-EL' chant breaks out to start off with, but that chant is replaced by cheers when Axel screams "THIS IS IT!" VENTURA How in the hell does he know when the end is? Tony will be sure to tell him! COLE Axel might be looking for one of those two big moves, that both focus on the neck! Oh, Axel is going for the Axel Slam! Axel grabs Tony and lifts him up in a Reverse Death Valley position. The crowd come up as one whn he does this, sensing the patented move... but Tony doesn't give them a chance to cheer for long, as he slides off of Axel! Axel turns around... ...OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!!! VENTURA YES! YES! HE HIT IT! ITS OVER! COLE Tony hit the Spinebuster! Can he make a cover? He's crawling toward Axel, Tony Brannigan must be absolutely exhausted! Tony crawls toward Axel, obviously exhausted, and finally hooks the inside leg, not being able to do anything else! THE REFEREE MAKES THE COUNT! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA YES!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! VENTURA YESSS!!! THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! VENTURA WHAT? NO! HE DIDN'T KICK OUT! HE COULDN'T! COLE He did!!! Axel kicked out of the Out of Body Experience! If Jesse can't believe it, imagine what Tony Brannigan is feeling now that Axel kicked out of his patented move! Tony is frustrated more than anything, holding the back of his neck and getting in the champion's face, slapping him, and striking the Crucifix Pose! VENTURA Ha-ha! He does it better than Axel! Tony grabs Axel, and picks HIM up for an Axel Slam! COLE Tony’s going to hit Axel with his own move! If he hits this, it’s over! Tony tries to rotate Axel over… but Axel LANDS ON HIS FEET! Tony turns around… …SPIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEBUSSSTTAHHHHHH~!~! VENTURA Not as good as Tony’s! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Tony kicks out!!! COLE That was an amazing show of resilience by Tony Brannigan! VENTURA I thought Axel had him, I’ll admit it! Axel stands up and brings Tony with him, frustration on his face. The champion does a small cut-throat motion, and puts Tony over his shoulder… but Tony slips off and lands the RUDE AWAKENING! COLE Axel was going for the Dark Royalty, but he couldn’t quite get Tony over, and the challenger capitalised with the Rude Awakening! VENTURA These tow men want this win so much, it’s going to be mighty hard for either of these two to get the other down for a three. Tony hooks both legs in a cover! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! COLE And Axel kicks out AGAIN! Tony, visibly frustrated, argues with the referee about the speed of that three count. The challenger doesn’t argue for long, picking the champion up and grabbing his left arm, shouting at him “YOU WON’T WIN! YOU WILL ABIDE BY BRANNIGANS LAW!” Before sending him for an Irish Whip! VENTURA He’s gonna go for it again! YES! COLE Axel comes off of the ropes there… No! He ducked it! Axel ducks the incoming Tony Brannigan, and instead charges at him from the other side… …LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE Just like Kobashi taught him, Axel just hit that beautiful Lariat! And he’s fired up! Axel fires up to the crowd, striking the Crucifix Pose, and grabbing Tony, immediately setting him up… …AND HITTING THE AXEL SLAM!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” COLE AXEL GOT IT! HE GOT IT! COVERRRRRRRRRRRR! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *DING DING DING* VENTURA NO!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! “Eat You Alive begins playing as the OAOAST Champion collapses on the canvas, exhausted after one hell of a contest with Tony Brannigan. Still grabbing at his back, Axel accepts the OAOAST Title belt from the referee, and raises it while on his knees to a loud ovation. COLE Both of these men gave everything to be the champion, but only one was good enough. VENTURA Give credit where credit is due Michael! Tony Brannigan brought everything! He gave everything! BUFFER Here is your winner, AND STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… AAAAAAAAAAAAXEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!! COLE Axel is still Heavyweight Champion of the World! And guess who he faces next? For Jonathon Coachman, Caboose and Jesse Ventura, I’m Michael Cole, and this has been Living Angleously Two Thousand-Five! Goodnight everyone! The show closes with Axel standing triumphantly in the center of the ring with the Heavyweight Title. HIS Heavyweight Title. For the second Pay-Per-View in a row. Edited April 25, 2005 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2005 A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production DIRECTED BY NYU WRITTEN BY Tony149 Nice Guy Adam King Cucaracha Hoff CanadianChick Patty O'Green Zack Malibu Some Guy KingPK Mystery Eskimo The #1 MST3K Mark Failed Mascot Alfdogg GRAPHICS BY Papacita EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Mystery Eskimo Stephen Joseph Hoff Chuck Woolery CanadianChick Patty O'Green EXECUTIVES IN CHARGE OF PPV PRODUCTION Tony149 NYU OAOAST CREATED BY CWM Tony149 Anglesault PRESIDENT/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Zack Malibu © 2005 OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT All Rights Reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
