Funny Tommy Dreamer story.

[Guest BrokenWings]

Crikee! He's a angry bugga aint e'?

 

Oooh Bom Bom, CHA Chigga chiggaaaaa!

 

So a few weeks ago I received a call from ROH alumnist and good friend Alexis Laree informing me that she would be in Cali for a few days and would really love to hang out and go party. This is prompted because as anyone in the world of wrestling knows, when you come to Southern California I am always more than happy to be your tour guide and show you the many sights, sounds and magic that make up the place I call home (Jesus, I really should write press releases for Disney).

I said "COOL" and resigned myself to stop by Marina Del Rey to scoop up her and her colleague Angel Williams and go party down in The O.C.

 

Bom Bom, CHA! CHA!

 

When I arrived I was informed that Tommy Dreamer, Danny Doring, and Swinger where also in town since hey all where doing motion capture work for a new WWE video game release. Tommy being the pretty decent cat he is invited me along to instead join the festivities they where planning to have in Hollywood so I did and we headed North.

 

CHA! Chigga Chigga

 

After dinner we  forayed to the Saddleback Ranch in Universal City for some drinks and dancing. The good Mr. Dreamer had the VIP waiting so off we went up the ever exciting 405 freeway. On the way to our destination of choice "The Dream" informed me that he really, REALLY needed to use the "facilities" and asked that I pull off on Mulholland and find the nearest gas station. Unfortunately Mulholland only leads into the Bel Aire hills of Fresh Prince fame which does not really have any "facilities" to speak of at all. Being a tried, true and tested warrior of the road Tommy implored me to pull off to the side of the road and he would follow in the steps of his fore fathers before him and use nature as God had intended it.

 

Tommy made his way into the wilds of Bel Aire and I circled the SUV around giving a man his privacy, and administering a small tour of the LA skyline for the other passengers. A few minutes had passed since we had left Tommy to do the deed so I spun around our caravan and headed back down the road to grab a hopefully relieved Dreamer and continue onto to the club.

 

Bom Bom, Cha hoo Cha hoo

 

When we arrived to pick up Tommy he stood in the middle of the road chest heaving brandishing a hub cap and a towel upon what I am sure was a reccomendation from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I asked the visibly distressed Tommy what had happened, he stared directly at me and proclaim " A Pack of fucking Coyotes just tried to eat me!". It seemed The Dream was quite expeditious in his duties and when he finished he was greeted with the rustling of leaves as something was moving in the woods. Soon he found himself being flanked by 4 Coyotes so he ran up to the main road. His efforts where for naught as when he arrived at the main road he had made it just in time to see me pulling away and was forced to grab a wayward hub cap and begin banging the ground like a mad man in a effort to scare off the now encircling predators. He fended away the beasts until a local resident had pulled up in his Mercedez and asked if "Everything was OK". Tommy told him " This pack of coyotes are trying to eat me" to which the man responded " Ah OK" and drove off, most likely too rich to care or writing the Dream off as a wayward methadone addict who had made his way into the woods.  I questioned the validity of Tommy's story almost finding it too grandious to believe until he pointed to the ridge across the street where 3 coyotes sat ears perked up licking their lips and staring intently at the meal that got away.

 

After things calmed down we headed to Hollywood and celebrated. I mean lets face it, not since the days of the Viking warriors have you been able to fend off a hungry pack of dogs and then drink in celebration with your friends. The vodka flowed like mead and all was well in the world, and somewhere on Tommy Dreamers mantle place sits the mighty Hubcap of Wolf Warding. Hail to you Mr. Dreamer, this buds for you.

 

Bom Bom Cha Chigga Chiggaaaaaaa!

 

Fuck you Lemony Snicket

I got your series of Unfortunate Events right here!

 

The effervescent,

 

Samoa Joe

 

Another gem from Samoa. Hilarious mental picture.

[Carnival 0]

coyotes won't eat you. they are pussies.

[Ravenbomb 0]

who calles him The Dream?

[yankovic fan 0]

I bet if the coyotes had, I dunno, called ACME they might have had better luck