SJL Crimson, May 18th

[Guest crusen86]

...Fade in! People are everywhere, screaming their heads off - damn right too, since they are at a show of the legendary SJL! Where superstars such as T-Bone and Cutthroat beat up each other! Commentators!

 

Axis: Word up people. This is SJL Crimson - tonight is gonna rule.

 

Edwin: Hi folks out there in TV land! Check out da fantabulous card!

 

SJL Crimson

Venue: The National Car Rental Arena in Miami, Florida!  Edwin knows his Florida arenas, woo...

 

SINGLES MATCH, YO

Scott Reid vs. T-Bone

-Ced and T-Boner both no-showed Metal and got tableized by the Explosive One, TNT.  Now T-Bone draws Scott Reid, a cocky new guy who's looking to make his way by going after the big boys right away.  Reid took out Jacob Helmsley last week on Crimson--can he become a true weekend warrior and topple these two vets?

 

TV TITLE MATCH

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson © vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

-TNT, you bastard!  You killed deKindes!  On Metal, TNT rebuilt his alliance with Deathwish and destroyed his former friend Tod deKindes.  TNT has a lot of explaining to do, but in between doing it, he's going to have to deal Mak Francis, who earned this shot with a win over Scott Reid on Metal.

 

FROST CLOBBERIFIED US MATCH

Sydney Sky vs. Insane Luchador

-On Metal, Syd got a pinfall on IL after Frost left the ring, professing his desire for nothing but the European belt.  No matter the case, Syd did pick up the victory over the New Sound renegade, and tonight, IL looks for revenge.

 

NO-DQ EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

"Deathwish" Danny Williams © vs. Frost

-Frost has been destroying everyone in his path in a series of brutal matches in his quest to become European champion, and now he gets to cash in his shot against Deathwish, who just regained the belt from and beat the living crap out of Tod deKindes on Metal.  This match is No-DQ, which means that for these two men, two of the most vicious creatures in the SJL midcard, anything goes.  Have fun, kids.

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

The New Sound (Flexxx/Mafia) vs. X-Force Nine (Z/Ced Ordonez)

-Poisyn and Mafia seemed to have settled differences, as Poisyn's alliance has been absorbed into the New Sound with Flexxx.  Both men supported Tom Flesher or whatever his name is now on Metal, and you've got believe that Flexxx was pleased that these two saw eye-to-eye somehow.  With Poisyn taking the show off, Flexxx steps up to tag with Mafia against the tagalicious XF9 team, the C&Z Connection!  Try extra hard on this one, guys.

 

"LAST BLOOD" MATCH FOR THE SJL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Durandal © vs. Xero vs. Ash Ketchum

-Tom Flesher?  Who's that?  Durandal rises from the ashes (oh ho, the pun) of Wednesday's world title conquest for the former Superior One, but Commissioner Edwin is giving this defector to the Clan no time off for bad behavior.  Xero, who earned his world title shot by burning Jake Helmsley's face off more or less, and Ash Ketchum, who lost the title to Flesher on Metal and will now get one last shot at a miracle run, will be the men going after the strap.  The rules of the Last Blood are simple: it is, essentially, first blood elimination.  If you bleed, you're out.  The last man with unbroken skin is the SJL World Champion.  Obviously, disqualification and count-out rules are not in effect.

 

Suicide King: Yes, yes, not bad even for these geeks.

 

Axis: Even though we've been on the air for 15 seconds approx, we are going to a break!

 

Edwin: Gotta keep this fed going somehow...

[Guest crusen86]

Axis: Backage. Our first match is T-Bone vs. Scott Reid - Both men are in the ring!

 

Edwin: Hang on... It's Johnny Generic!

 

King: I am so overwhelmed by his dazzling lack of charisma. This guy makes Thugg look like me.

 

Edwin: Speaking of Thugg, be sure to check out SWF Crossfire - Where I take on the big oaf and Perfect Bo to decide the World champion! This Sunday, check with your local companies!

 

King: You cheap bastard...

 

Axis: Yeah. Generic is attacking Reid and T-Bone with devastating scoop slams! He covers both men!

 

1, 2, 3!

 

DING DING DING

 

Axis: Generic wins! Big shock that one.

 

Edwin: Break time. Again.

[Guest crusen86]

The screen pans the exterior of the National Car Rental Stadium in Miami, Florida as a flashing sign outside reads: “SJL METAL! LIVE!” Several automobiles line the parking lot as the titanitron-esque sign cuts to yet another ad: “TERMINATOR: THE OPERA! TICKETS ON SALE!” The camera cuts to the inside of the center, where thousands of suntan lotion-covered fans cheer relentlessly, while signs such as “Tom Flesher’s Flesh Will Be Cut Into Smaller Flesh-Colored Pieces of Flesh,” “BLEED TOMMY BLEED,” and “His name is Durandal You Retards” dot the enthusiastic audience. The camera pans the fans but halts abruptly at the troublesome trio, who are all dressed in casual suits save Edwin, who wears a conspicuous Hawaiian shirt that reads: “I Ate the Worm Baby!” The camera closes in on the three as Edwin’s voice becomes distinctly audible.

 

Edwin: “I swear! I thought it was casual Saturday!”

Axis: “Ed, just change at the break, mkay?”

Edwin: “Ugh. Righto.”

King: “Ahem. Welcome back our loyal viewers, (looks at his monitor, which displays the amount of viewers) I mean, um, viewer. (to Axis) Why did American Pie have to come on at the same time as our show? We’ve got one guy in Nebraska watching.”

Axis: “Relax. The Nadia scene will be over any minute now and then the viewers will be rolling in like dubies.”

Edwin: “They’ll be lining up like cocaine at the White House alright. Anyhoo, Axis, I believe right now it’s time for a little interview with ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson.”

King: “Please. Call him God Almighty.”

Edwin: “I’d hardly call him mighty.”

King: “He turned on Tod, joined Danny, and gained Williams the European championship in the span of a match. And you say that’s not mighty?”

Axis: “Either way. This feud is hotter than Jenny McCarthy in the Sierra Desert, but instead of explaining it to you all, I think this video montage will do just fine.”

 

The screen suddenly cuts to black and white footage of Mathew Kivell charging TNT with a spear, he gets caught in a standing head scissors however, and in bullet-time fashion, the display sluggishly shows TNT lift Kivell up in slow motion, and plant him back down with a Tiger Driver ’92 as the fans “explode” in unison.

 

Voiceover (done by Renegade, in a random cameo): “With a swift taste of Dynamite, TNT broke through the walls of the SJL by defeating Mathew Kivell with the 1-2-3. Soon after, it was time for his debut match, against one man, one wrestler, one German, this man, was Tod deKindes.”

 

The name Tod deKindes flashes across the screen in a foreign calligraphy, with a backdrop of him in the background, face intent, hair streaming, and a glint of determination in his eye. He slides his sunglasses over his eyes as the words “Non-believers beware” briskly flash across the screen. Archived video footage is shown, of the climaxes of each man’s respectable pre-match interviews. The screen flashes to Ben Hardy, standing nervously outside of TNT’s dressing room, as Taylor swings open the door, bashing in poor Ben’s face. The montage then proceeds to show a highlight from the interview.

 

TNT: “Because you see deKindo, deKindi, I don't care what your name is because on Saturday when you enter the ring with dynamite, you will simply become the first victim out of many in the SJL. Be warned, this is no bomb scare, on Saturday you will watch me enter the ring, you will watch me get ready to beat the tar out of you, and you...will...WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOOOOOODE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

The screen cuts to Tod’s interview, in which he mad his intentions known. The setting is a dark, murky basement while Tod sits Indian fashion on an anvil case, a clip of the promo is displayed.

 

Tod: “Take a good look at me, but don't believe what you see...In the ring, Saturday, take a good look at me...but believe what you're gonna feel. I will come at you from every possible side...jetzt sehen Sie mich...Now you see me...jetzt Sie nicht...Now you don't.”

Renegade (still a voiceover): “The match was set for SJL Crimson, April 6th, the match was to decide which fresh contender would go for the gutter…and which would go for the glory.”

 

The ending of the match is displayed, as TNT manages to force Tod into a standing head scissors, and lift him up for his patented Dynamite. Taylor gets the 1-2-3, but the match is revealed as being far from over as TNT helps Tod to his feet, and outreaches a hand of respect. In a moment that would live forever via replays, the two grasp each other’s hands and shake in a display of mutual respect.

 

Renegade: “Aw. What a fairy tale ending, not quite. The two had a friendship, that’s for sure, and as the two pursued their respectable singles careers…”

 

A shot of Tod scurrying back into the ring to defeat the Dark Reaper via count-out is shown.

 

Renegade: “…they still were buds. But this was not meant to be, according to the thoughts of technical grappler ‘Deathwish’ Danny Williams…”

 

A clip is shown of a Danny and Taylor, observing TNT’s debut match on a television. The segment is cut to one quote, courtesy of Williams.

 

Deathwish: “Oh Sure the fans loved your mutual show of respect. But what the hell do they know. Don't you ever go out of your way to entertain them or make them happy.  Fans don't win you matches.  Besides I've been all around the world, and the fans in America are by far the dumbest. They would rather see flippy flop crap, and people getting hit with fake trash can lids than actual wrestling. Now you go out there tonight, and kick some ass. And I don't want to see anymore of that handshaking crap.  Just do what I tell you, and you'll go far in this sport.”

 

Some clips are shown of TNT’s match later that night, a hardcore triple threat between himself, Cutthroat, and Jack the Ripper. The clips show Cutthroat blinding the Ripper by blowing a dandelion into his eyes, Cutthroat nailing the bloodied Taylor in the cranium with a ring bell, Jack performing a modified version of the Ripping on Cutthroat from the apron to the outside through a table, Edwin saying “God bless Stacy Kiebler,” TNT soaring off the top rope with Cutthroat in hand, planting him into the mat with a super spinning tombstone piledriver, and of course the finish of the match, where Cutthroat nails the Ripper in the skull with the chair, is whirled around, and put down for some Dynamite for the 1-2-3. The bellman drags the blood-soaked ring bell off of the canvas, and rings it, signaling the end of the match. Taylor stands up, and begins shaking hands with both Jack and Cutthroat. The joy fest is abruptly interrupted however, as Deathwish sprints down to the ring and force-feeds a steel chair to both of TNT’s opponents. Danny grasps Taylor by the arm, dragging the reluctant pyromaniac to the back, as the two bicker.

 

Renegade: “Next week all of the same shit occurred, as Deathwish cost Tod deKindes his rematch against Taylor.”

 

The clip picks at the end of the match, where Danny kabongs Tod with a steel chair, followed by an extremely reluctant cover by the explosive one. A snippet of the aftermath is displayed, with Taylor visibly upset at Danno as the two quarrel in the locker room.

 

TNT: "How could you do that? I wanted to win, but not like that!"

Deathwish: "Get used to it kid. I'm your mentor, everything you know is because of me. Do you know why I took you under my wing? Because I saw potential in you, that's why. But now I'm doubting my decision with you being all righteous and crap."

TNT: "Hey, just because I want to play it fair doesn't mean I'm a crappy wrestler."

Deathwish: "You're right, you're not a crappy wrestler, but Tod deKindumbass is. In fact, he's not even a wrestler, he's just a sports entertainer, no better then anyone else in this federation. Respect doesn't get you to the top here, being a nice guy doesn't get you to the top here, winning your matches is what gets you to the top here. You won your match, and next I'm gonna win mine against that insane fruitcake I'm wrestling tonight. Tonight, the fans will watch US explode."

 

Taylor scowls at Danny for a moment, but then seems to calm down.

 

TNT: "Well, I guess that it's good that I have a shot at the TV title now that I've beaten Tod. And I guess it's not that bad that I cheated, because I've already proven I can beat Tod cleanly in the past."

Deathwish: "Now you're getting it. I had to help you tonight because you weren't at 100% after kicking those two pansy boys' asses last Wednesday. And you shouldn't have to fight for a shot at the title, you're too good for that. They should have given you a title shot right off the bat. Now, I don't want any more of this respect crap understand? You respect NO ONE but me."

TNT (reluctantly): "I understand."

Deathwish: "Now, what are you gonna do when you go one on one with T-Bone for the TV Title within the next week?"

TNT: "Explode!”

Renegade: “As seen in that clip, the tension between this mentor/student duo was heating up. Next week Taylor gained a clean win against a certain steak sauce covered bastard, and for the Television title no less.”

 

A snippet shows TNT pinning T-Bone with a modified sunset flip, gaining his first SJL gold. Taylor attempts to give a wholehearted respect promo after the match, but Danny stops him in mid-sentence…

 

Deathwish: “I’m proud of you Taylor, but you don’t need to respect that sports entertainer. You don’t need to respect anyone in this pile of shit federation, we’re a new breed of entertainers, no, we’re not entertainers, we’re wrestlers, we’re winners!”

Renegade: “Tod meanwhile, was becoming fed up with Danno’s antics, he was egging Taylor on to leave Vader and join Obi Wan. The stage was set for Yoda to Boba Fett his Jar Jar...wait, these Star Wars references are getting too confusing. Ahem. The stage was set for Taylor to choose, the German…or the not-so-German guy. Taylor did commentary as his mentor and buddy battled it out, with the climax of the match being the most interesting…”

 

This clip displays Deathwish, pleading Taylor to give him a chair, the action ends up inside the squared-circle, with Taylor holding a chair, gaining an open shot at whomever he will turn on…

 

SMACK!

 

Renegade: “With one thunderous cracking sound of steel on flesh, Taylor had joined Tod deKindes, and the T n’ T connection was born.”

 

Several clips of the duo at their best are shown, including the defining moment of the formation inside a locker room:

 

TNT: “Uh, I’ve taken some consideration to that team-up thing and I think…”

Tod: “Do not speak, do not worry. Passen Sie uns auf zu explodieren, he will, like so many others, watch us explode.”

 

The two taking a beating from Deathwish:

 

Danny slides into the ring, and begins screaming at his former student and his new friend. The audience can vaguely perceive the dialogue coming from the ring.

 

“Wanna take us on? Put down the fuckin' chair!”

“Imma kill you two!”

“Bring it on!”

“Don't think I won't!”

“Taylor's right, just put the chair down!”

“Fuck YOU!”

***WHACK!***

“Fuck! You hit him in the fucking…”

***WHACK!***

“Don’t fucking mess with me!”

 

And the two dishing out a beating:

 

A clip shows the two hitting their sit-out powerbomb with second-rope Hart Attack clothesline maneuver on Danny.

 

The two giving eachother advice:

 

TNT: “And then I sayz, ‘Apple core? I thought you said Taco Bell whore!”

Tod: “Say, aren’t you supposed to be giving me tips on my match?”

TNT: “Okily dokily. Now, what ya gotta do with T-Bone is wear ‘em out a bit before ya go for any big moves. Otherwise, he’ll…”

 

The two pumping eachother up:

 

Tod: Who's the explosive one?!!

 

TNT: ME!!!

 

Tod: And who's the angry german guy?!!

 

TNT: YOU ARE!!!

 

Tod: We gonna win tonight?!!

 

TNT: DAMN RIGHT!!!

 

Tod: We're facing two guys from XF9, they're pretty good!!

 

TNT: DOESN'T MATTER!!!

 

Tod: Danny Williams tries to interfere again, what do we do?!!

 

TNT: KICK HIS ASS!!!

 

Tod: Who's gonna beat us?!!

 

TNT: NOBODY!!

 

Tod: Who's gonna beat us?!!

 

TNT: NOBODY!!!!

 

Tod: Are we gonna win?!!

 

TNT: YEAH!!!

 

Tod: Are we gonna WIN?!!!

 

TNT: YEAH!!!!

 

Tod: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!

 

TNT: YEAAAAAH!!!

 

And of course the two getting into some action, nailing Ced Ordonez with some wild haymakers, putting the boots to Ash Ketchum, and swiftly bashing Frost over the head with a sheet of glass.

 

Renegade: “Things were looking great for the T ‘n T connection, but suddenly, a drastic occurrence took place…”

 

Red tinted footage is shown of the ending of Tod deKindes vs. Danny Williams for the SJL European Championship. Taylor slides into the ring, beginning what would end up to be a five minute massacre as he and Danny virtually beat, killed, and cremated Tod deKindes.

 

Renegade (now visible to the camera): “And with that note, we are beginning an entire new chapter in the T n’ T saga, we are entering a whole new dimension of pain…this is Renegade, signing off…Ahem. Almost forgot…ONE MORE TIME FOR THE RENEGADE MASTA!!!!!”

 

The screen cuts back to Axis, Suicide, and Eddie Mac, who stare in awe at the pure and uninhibited magnificence of this heated feud.

 

Axis: “Um. We go down now to Ben Hardy, who is attempting to get a word with ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson.”

 

Ben Hardy is shown on screen, standing erect with a microphone in hand, outside of a door marked “TNT.” Ben knocks, but just as Taylor opens the door, Danny Williams is seen in the background, psyching himself up for his match later in the evening against Frost.

 

Hardy: “Hmmm…I wonder if I’ll get a bonus for a double interview…oh hell, it’s worth a try. Mr Deathwish! Could you please give me a word or two concerning the recent events involving Tod deKindes and your match later tonight?”

TNT (coming out of his dressing room): “Hey little Hardy man (gives Ben a wedgie) how’s it going? What’s that? You don’t like pain? Well then, you shouldn’t have interrupted Deathwish’s meditation you little…”

Danny (walking over): “Hold off Thompson.”

TNT: “Yes sir.”

Danny: “Frost? Frost!? Is there any doubt in my mind that I won’t walk out of this building with my gold in hand? No. Is there any doubt in my mind that Frost won’t be walking out at all tonight, less it be on a stretcher? No. Well Frost, you carry around a bag of broken glass, talking about early winter and whatnot…I can tell you Frost, I tell you as a fellow wrestler, there is one glass that you will NEVER break as long as I’m around Frost. And that’s the glass ceiling! You see Frosty, tonight…hurting you is my anti-drug, beating you is my anti-drug, KICKING YOUR CHILLY ASS is my anti-drug Frost. And as for you Toddles, I can say one thing…”

TNT (grabbing the mic): “I’ll handle this Danno. Well well well, tonight I’m entering the ring with the Franchise, Mak Francis. But he’s not my concern. I KNOW I can kick his ass. However, there is a soul out there who doesn’t have a match tonight, that soul, that GERMAN soul, that NAZI soul, that NO LONGER SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION soul, is Tod deKindes. Tod, I used to respect you man, I used to like you, I used to KNOW you. But within the span of a few weeks you began turning on me. You began stealing my spotlight. I had the Television title which I won cleanly. However, you had gained a higher praised title, the European title. You won that title from Danny here, or should I say, I won the title for you. Yes, that’s right. You just couldn’t do it by yourself Tod, you needed MY training, MY advice, MY help. And it was only then when you won. But then Tod, you became a cocky son of a bitch, you began stealing my fans, and eventually, you turned on me, THE FANS turned on me. It wasn’t MY choice that I had to get the European championship back to my mentor, it was YOUR choice. I didn’t beat you to a bloody pulp last Wednesday, YOU did. It was all you Tod, it was all you, all along. You caused your own demise Tod. Motivation? HA! I laugh in the face of motivation. I don’t HAVE any motivation Tod, which is what makes me so dangerous. I just spit in your face because I CAN Tod. That’s what makes me so dangerous. Sure, you stole MY gold, you stole MY fans, hell, you’ve even stolen MY catchphrase a few times. But for the most part, I’m just doing this because I CAN. I’ll be taking next Metal off, so that I can set aside all issues and concentrate on YOU. So Tod, on Wednesday, watch your back, or watch me explode!”

 

TNT storms off back into his dressing room, slamming the door behind him.

 

Hardy: “Well, there you have it. TNT and Deathwish are pumped for tonight, but will Tod be for next Wednesday? Only time will tell.”

 

Cut to commercial.

[Guest crusen86]

[The screen shows the word Crimson in red letters with a blood dripping animation over a black screen. After a quick cut the camera pans back to the announce table from the commercial break.]

 

Axis: Well, SJL Crimson is back at the National Car Rental Arena in Miami, Florida! For those viewers coming to our show late, I’m Axis and to my left and right respectively are “The Mac Daddy” himself…Edwin MacPhisto and former SWF World Champ…”the Heartbreaker”…The Suicide King.

 

MacPhisto: What a sensational card I’ve made for this week’s Crimson. The crowds really been into it and things are only starting to transpire. I’m god’s gift to booking!

 

King: MacPhisto, did you forget about this.

 

[suicide King shows him the deputy commissioners badge place into his care by Stubby P. McWeed. King wearing the badge takes it off and puts in front of Edwin’s face. He even polishes the badge, to taunt MacPhisto.]

 

King: You’ll never get the World title as long as I’m wearing this. I’m the real booking god!

 

Axis: Please stop this. SWF matters should be left out of the JL with the exception of our new champion, Durandal. Come on Flesher, what kind of clan name is Durandal anyway?

 

King: A celebrated Clan name. A name that will strike fear into the hearts of any opponent he faces. Tom Flesher is no more and all that remains is Durandal!

 

MacPhisto: I knew Flesher was corrupt but not Clan corrupt...

 

Axis: Anyways, on to our next match-up on SJL Crimson’s card.

 

MacPhisto: The Television Title is on the line as current champion TNT Taylor Nicholas Thompson defends against current number one contender “The Franchise” Mak Francis. I booked this gem by the way.

 

King: Mak is coming off two straight victories over [sighing] Cutthroat and Scotty Reid. Scotty gave Francis all he could handle but in the end screwing with Jake Helmsley cost him this TV title shot. Scotty had the match all but won until one pipe-shot and subsequent Black Stallion later Mak draped his hand across Scott for the one…two…three!

 

Axis: But that development pails in comparison to that traitorous “TNT” as he with the help of Danny Williams exploded all over Tod deKindes and put him in the hospital. I never thought I’d see the day, when two mortal enemies would come together squashing the third member of this wrestling triangle of terror.

 

 

Funyon get ready and the crowd gets ready as “Down with the Sickness” plays in the background. Blue and White lights flash, as the words ‘Are you Ready’ fly across the smarktron, a digitized voice repeats them. At the part where the band first yells, the digitized voice screams ‘Cause the Franchise is Here’. The smarktron flashes the words 'The Franchise'. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis and he comes out. A loud “Franchise” chant breaks out as he down to ringside with Tyler Kinkel, clipboard in hand. He smoothly enters through the middle ropes. Francis is sporting a nice white bandage over the area where Scott Reid opened him up with a Pittsburgh Plunge onto a steel chair. Kinkel sits down next to the Suicide King as Francis holds two fists in the air soaking up the crowds’ applause.

 

Funyon: This match-up is scheduled for one fall and is for the SJL Television Title. The challenger…weighing in tonight at 225 pounds…from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…”The Franchise” Mak Francis!

 

MacPhisto: Francis is starting to receive a nice reaction from this crowd. I guess it’s because of his in ring work ethic because we’ve all seen him cheat in each of his matches.

 

King: He’s trying to win MacPhisto. What’s wrong with that? Although I have noticed he’s been lessening the dirty moves per match and that could lead to his downfall.

 

Kinkel: Mak needs to get the victory here. This title will lead to bigger matches that’ll get him into the big leagues faster and that way he can win the SWF-

 

MacPhisto: Damn it. I was hoping you’d be like you were on METAL but I guess even you can’t shut up that long twice.

 

The crowd erupts in loud menacing boos as AC/DC’s “TNT” blares from the speakers. As the introduction of the song begins, TNT very slowly saunters down the ramp with a noticeable lack of pyrotechnics. Just as the song’s course ends, the audience hears “Watch me explooooooooddddeee! What seems like hundreds of white and silver pyrotechnics are triggered consecutively as Taylor becomes livelier and walks to the beat of the music. Since the entrance has already taken about a minute and a half Taylor quickly poses on each ring post getting hit by pieces of trash that referee Matthew Kivell has to clear from ringside.

 

King: TNT has finally lived up to his potential and soon he’ll be in the big time. Tod deKindes was just holding him back but Danny help him see the light. It’s about time that Taylor stopped playing by the rules and started winning.

 

Axis: TNT has been Television Champion for a while now. How has he not been winning?

 

King: It’s a lot easier to win when you cheat Axis!

 

MacPhisto: Have you any morals jackass?

 

King: Uh…no, that’s why I’ve been a SWF World Champion.

 

Axis: [sighing] Can you two at least argue about this match. The million-dollar question is with TNT’s new attitude can he hold off the surging “Franchise” and keep the TV title? Matthew Kivell checks both men for illegal object and asks for the bell as this one on one match for the SJL Television is underway.

 

Taylor Nicholas Thompson, or “TNT” for short, stands face to face with Francis and doesn’t even flinch when the crowd starts a “Franchise” chant. He just stares down at the smaller man with a smirk on his face. That cruel sadistic smirk that he had on as Danny Williams and him demolished Tod deKindes during the European title match on SJL METAL.

 

Axis: No action yet as the 6 foot 6 “TNT” shows he has no fear of the rookie.

 

MacPhisto: Everyone that Francis has faced so far has been on equal terms of size and weight. Francis even had the size advantage over Mr. Reid but “TNT is a whole different story. Can Francis even pick up the 6 foot 6 267 pound monster for his fisherman’s buster finisher?

 

“TNT” and Francis move about the squared circle occasional bouncing or stretching the ropes. Francis quickens his pace and lungs forward for a single leg takedown. Francis grabs the leg or “TNT” as he seems to be reacting slowly. Francis tries to take down “TNT” but the bigger man just gives Francis a few quick forearm shots to the back for his trouble. Francis releases his leg and backs away placing a hand over his lower lumbar. Francis and “TNT” circle again with Francis trying the same tactic but “TNT” just shrugs him off again.

 

Axis: Francis keeps going for the single leg takedown but “TNT” is just too strong. Why keep going for a move when he can’t execute it.

 

Kinkel: King do you want to handle this one. Obviously Axis doesn’t understand.

 

King: I guess it’s time for my in depth color commentary-

 

Axis: Oh shut up King. I was just trying to add suspense to the match because the crowd might not remember that little incident from METAL. I watch tape before calling a match apparently just like Francis does before he goes into one.

 

King: I was just going to say that MacPhisto would never win the World Title as long as I have this.

 

[Flashes his deputy commissioner badge]

 

King: What were you going to say Axis?

 

Everyone at the announce table excluding Suicide King falls out of their chairs. There is dead air space for a few second as Suicide King just looks at the fallen trio. After regaining his composure, Axis just laughs.

 

Axis: Never mind…

 

King: What were you going to say?

 

TNT and Francis come together in a collar and elbow tie-up with TNT overpowering the smaller Francis. TNT backs Francis into the corner. Kivell walks over and asks for a clean break but TNT takes it to “the Franchise” with closed fists to the head. The bandage around Francis's cut from METAL starts to turn a little red. Kivell warns Thompson but he laughs in his face and hits another one. The crowd tries to start up a “Franchise” chant, but TNT not really caring what they say, proceeds to stomp through the chest and rib cage of Francis with swift boots to the midsection.

 

Axis: TNT is kicking Francis midsection into oblivion. This must be his new mean streak showing through.

 

King: Good for him!

 

MacPhisto: Very bad for Francis…come on Kinkel give your protégé some helpful advice.

 

Kinkel: Maybe a little later. But for now he can handle things.

 

TNT grasps Francis’s wrist and Irish whips him out of the corner towards the opposite turnbuckle. Francis’s back crashes into the buckle as his arms are draped on the ropes for support. TNT charges in hitting a clothesline to the head that causes Francis’s body to be parallel with the mat. The crowd “oohs” in appreciation of the powerful lariat TNT just preformed. TNT drags him out to the center of the ring by his hair and delivers a Russian Leg Sweep. After flexing his leg for some reason, he goes for the lateral press as Kivell moves into position and…

 

One…

 

Two-

 

Axis: And a kick-out just at two by Francis in the first pin attempt and near fall of this young match-up.

 

MacPhisto: Total domination by TNT so far as Francis hasn’t even had the chance to execute one offensive move.

 

TNT lifts Francis to his feet and after a flurry of right hands whips Francis into the ropes. Francis comes back off the ropes walking directly into a Samoan Drop from the 6’6” Thompson. All the wind is knocked out of the Franchise’s body as nearly 270 pounds comes crashing down across his chest. TNT calmly walks over to the closest turnbuckle and escalates to the second rope. He jumps of and lands the point of his elbow into the sternum of Francis. He hooks the far leg as Kivell slides into position and…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Axis: And a weak kick-out by Francis. You can tell that he’s hurting from all the offense TNT has hit on him.

 

Suicide King: With TNT’s new attitude his performance has gotten a lot better. Dominating Mak Francis is no easy task but TNT is doing it without breaking a sweat.

 

Thompson lays boots to neck and back of Francis. As he does Francis shakes with each attack to his body. TNT picks Francis up by the scruff of his neck and goes for a right hand, which is blocked. Francis retaliates with a right hand of his own that staggers his larger opponent. TNT attempts a right hand again only for the same thing to transpire. The crowd gets off their hands and cheers as Francis starts to mount a come back. Francis backs TNT up the hard rights to the side of the head and run the ropes behind him to gain some speed. The crowd now in a full fledged “Franchise” chant roar with approval. But their chant is squashed much like Francis after a knee lift deep into his gut. The power of the move causes Francis to flip hitting his back against the middle and bottom ropes and then crumpling in a heap on the canvas.

 

Axis: How suddenly the momentum shifts in this “Human game of chess”. “The Franchise” finally got in some offense but was promptly squashed by TNT.

 

MacPhisto: Francis needs to find some counter to TNT’s size and speed advantage.

 

Kinkel: Don’t worry Mak already knows the answer to that question. He knows what he needs to know.

 

TNT taunts the crowd while Francis slowly rises to his feet using the ropes to pull himself up. TNT noticing that Francis is almost to his feet rushes over and connects with a clothesline that sends both wrestlers flipping over the ropes. Both Francis and TNT land awkwardly on the outside and struggle to get to their feet.

 

Axis: The action has spilled to the outside and hopefully Francis can mount some offense out here.

 

TNT gets up first and grabs at Francis but the weary wrestler catches TNT in a drop toehold. TNT recovers first but catches a boot to the gut anyways. Francis latches onto TNT’s wrist and tosses him towards the steel steps falling to the mat because of the amount of power put into the attack. TNT hits the steps with a larger clang and flips over the steps as Francis watches from his position on the ground! Francis rolls into the ring and awaits TNT’s return to the squared circle. TNT gets to his feet and hobbles back towards the ring attempting to climb through the ropes but Francis strikes him in the face and then grabs him in a front face lock. The crowd cheers increase as Francis struggles but hits a vertical suplex from the outside in. Francis hooks the leg and Kivell gets into position…

 

One…

 

Two

 

Axis: And TNT kicks-out in two. Going to the outside was really to Francis’s advantage. This may have changed the entire direction of this match.

 

MacPhisto: Oh boy I just know Kinkel’s going to go off on a tirade.

 

Kinkel: Don’t worry MacPhisto I don’t have anything to say yet.

 

King: But I do.

 

MacPhisto: That’s just as bad…

 

Axis: Anyways back to the action…

 

Francis rises and lifts TNT to his feet after a few right hands “the Franchise” bounces off the far ropes and walking right into the large hand of TNT. Everyone in the crowd looks on as TNT picks him up into the air. Francis looking for a way out goes for the all time equalizer, the dreaded poke to the eyes. TNT releases his grip and Francis drops to his original standing position. Francis comes back with a textbook drop kick to TNT’s knee. TNT falls to the mat as fast a stone in water.

 

Axis: Okay King I’ll tell you what I was going to say earlier-

 

King: I was just messing with you Axis. I am the color commentator after all. Mak finally gets to attack the previously injured knee of TNT. This is what Kinkel spoke of when he said that Mak knew what he needed to do. Did you guys catch that one? Knees…needs. It was an allusion to the fact that they knew to act the knee and leg of TNT after X-Force-9 hit him with their golf cart. I’m so observation after all I am the Suicide King!

 

Axis: [speechless]…

 

Francis kicks and stomps away on the knee of Thompson while the crowd gets behind him. Francis suddenly stops and drags his opponent over towards the ring post.

 

MacPhisto: We all know what’s coming here.

 

Kinkel: Yes Mak’s going to finish this guy off and win the TV title. I knew my coaching was the best. That first loss against Reid was a fluke. Mak is the chosen one and he shall climb the ranks of the SJL faster than anyone before him.

 

King: Hey shut up! Nobody can climb the ladder faster than me!

 

Francis goes to the outside and sets up TNT’s leg in a four around the post. Francis lets out a quick ‘Whooooo’ and hooks on variation of the figure four leg lock. Kivell comes over and counts for Francis to break the hold. He quickly reaches four and Francis lets go careful not to get disqualified. He runs back into the ring and awaits the hurt TNT to get to his feet.

 

Axis: He should take the pin attempt here because TNT really looks out of it.

 

MacPhisto: The one thing stopping Francis from going anywhere in the SJL right now is all the rookie mistakes. Take the cover and if he kicks out dish out some more punishment.

 

King: For once we agree MacPhisto.

 

TNT gets up to his vertical bases but you can tell he’s in a lot of pain. Francis seizes the opportunity and connects with his full extension superkick. TNT drops like a sack of potatoes. Francis covers TNT hooking the far leg as Kivell hits the canvas to count…

 

One…

 

 

Two…

 

 

Three…

 

Axis: No…TNT got the shoulder up. Wow I thought this one was over but TNT doesn’t want to give up his title to the rookie Francis.

 

Kinkel: Pin him again Mak!

 

Francis does as his coach tells him but this time only get one and a half. Flustered by this turn of events Francis goes down on the mat and lock on the figure four in the center of the ring. TNT is screaming out in pain as his knee get wrench. Kivell walks over to TNT.

 

Axis: Kivell’s asking Thompson if he gives but the TV champ would rather pass out than tap out.

 

Suicide King: If it were me, I wouldn’t tap but if his leg breaks he won’t care about the TV title.

 

Kinkel: Tap, Tap, Tap…TNT!

 

The crowd following Kinkel’s example chants the same thing but the big man uses his size to his advantage. Using leverage he rotates Francis and himself onto their stomach’s causing Francis to now cry out in pain. “The Franchise” quickly releases the hold and holds his leg in pain.

 

Axis: Nice reversal of the figure four by the TV champion. He’s really giving it his all tonight.

 

The two men both struggle to their feet at the same time and there’s a stand off. Both TNT and “The Franchise” take huge kicks at the other person’s knee area. The two men trade blows back and forth until. Francis connects with a shot that sends TNT down to one knee. Francis hooks on a front face lock and reaches down trying to cradle TNT’s leg.

 

King: We could have a new champion if Mak hits the Franchise Tag.

 

Axis: But can he lift TNT up on that bad wheel he just received.

 

Francis struggles with all his might hooking TNT’s leg into the cradle position but he can’t get him up. TNT sensing that he can go on the advantage punches Francis in the gut repeatedly. This weakens Francis enough to make him release TNT’s leg. TNT grabs Francis’s leg and lifts him up into a fireman’s carry.

 

Axis: It’s looks to me like TNT is going for his Fireman Carry into Diamond Cutter. This is the same move that Scott Reid preformed on Francis to win two weeks ago on METAL.

 

King: I sorry to say it but he won’t kick out of this move…

 

Kinkel: It’s not true. Mak can kick-out of anything…

 

The only problem is TNT’s knee gives out. This gives Francis the opportunity to float over the top and land behind TNT. A stunned crowd cheers out in approval as Francis lock on the Million Dollar Exemption. TNT’s starts to gasp for breath as he waves one arm wildly towards the entrance ramp. And all of a sudden the European Champion “Deathwish” Danny Williams comes rushing out with his title in hand. Matthew Kivell tries to stop his entrance, only to get pushed out of the way. Danny lines up a picture perfect shot to the head of Mak Francis, who goes down fast than an intern at the White House. His bandage from earlier now a red square, looses it's hold and falls off leaving his cut unprotected. Kivell immediately asks for the bell and tells Funyon to announce Francis as the winner of the match.

 

Funyon: The winner of this match by Disqualification is “The Franchise” Mak Francis.

 

Axis: I can’t believe TNT would go so low as to have Danny Williams waiting in the wings incase he was about to lose the title. What a coward!

 

King: Coward or not he’s still the SJL TV Champion and Mak’s about to get his ass kicked…

 

MacPhisto: What makes you think that?

 

Right on cue “Deathwish” Danny Williams picks Francis up to the standing position. He kicks him in the gut and hits a stiff high angle DDT that causes the blood spurt from Francis’s wound on METAL. TNT, previously on one knee is now up and coaching Danny on how to hurt Francis more.

 

Kinkel: I’ve got to stop this…

 

Kinkel comes to the ring apron but TNT sunset flips over the top rope and Kinkel placing him under Francis’s mentor and he hits a Powerbomb from apron to outside. Kinkel is on the mat holding his neck as TNT spits on Kinkel. He slides back into the ring as Danny picks Francis up onto his shoulder and drives his head into the mat with a sit-out tombstone piledriver. Francis literally bounces up into the air after impact and falls to the ground banging his right leg against the canvas.

 

King: At least we know he’s still alive. He wouldn’t be able to do that if Danny broke his neck…

 

The two chat a little as fans boo at the duo. Danny finally comes up with an idea as he drags Francis towards the corner. TNT on the other hand moves to the directly adjacent corner and sit on the top turnbuckle laughing.

 

Axis: Two nights in a row that Francis is taking verbal abuse. Ah hell it just a plain old fashion beat down.  

 

King: Wrong again Axis. It’s two nights in a row that Francis is receiving a old school verbal and physical ass kicking, courtesy of T ‘n’ D!

 

MacPhisto: Ass kicking and beat down are the same things.

 

King: Not where I come from.

 

Francis gets put on the top rope bleeding like a champ as Danny hoists him up into the air and drives him down with a top rope suplex that causes the canvas to violently shake. Meanwhile the crowd starts to notice TNT going up to the top rope. Camera’s flash as TNT soars through the air and lands an elbow drop to the sternum on “The Franchise” who is now bleeding onto the mat. TNT gets up still talking smack to Francis as he waves Danny over to pick Francis up.

 

TNT hooks one arm of Francis’s and then the other as TNT yells to the crowd “Are you Ready!” He lifts Francis up into the air and screams three words that bring Francis to his senses for only a second “Watch me explooooooooddddeee!!!!!” He only able to here these words and nothing else except for deafening quiet as TNT drives Francis on his back and neck into the mat with a Tiger Driver 92’.

 

Axis: Taylor Nicholas Thompson and Danny Williams are leaving the ring as EMT’s rush the scene. This time unlike on METAL with a backboard because as god as my witness Mak Francis is broken in half…

 

King: I know this might not be the time to say this but…

 

Got J.R.!

 

MacPhisto: Go to a commercial!

 

[Fade to commercial]

[Guest crusen86]

The latest commercial for Longdoggah’s Tie Dye shirts abruptly ends. Tie dye, what is this, the 70’s? The screen goes blank for a few seconds and is replaced by some really groovy (AHH! Not groovy! and rockin’ heavy metal music, that is recognized as the theme for the ever popular show, SJL CRIMSON! The glittery silver logo spins on the screen as a camera in the background shows the sold out crowd at the American Car Rental Arena in Miami, Florida! The camera pans around, causing a rise out of the crowd, who is jumping up and down in their seats and some are holding up various homemade signs like, “TNT is the bomb!” (Gawd, that was original..) and “LDP, Marry me!” It doesn’t take too long before you hear the voice of Axis start up as the camera makes is way back to focusing on the announcers table yet again.

 

“Welcome back to SJL CRIMSON (Help! I’m completely incapable of writing the name of the show in just regular letters! The caps lock is attacking my match! .. I’m Axis, everyone’s favorite announcer! And I am joined by the Panda-loving Edwin MacPhisto, everyone’s favorite Commissioner!”

 

Suicide King ahems.

 

“Oh, and that’s Suicide King. Don’t mind him .. he’s just pissed because someone dropped a house on his girlfriend.”

 

(LOL! I crack myself up sometimes. Eeek, concentrate!

 

Suicide King grumbles, “Shut up you overgrown kangaroo-lovin’, and I do mean LOVIN’ moron.”

 

“I love you, too, King. Anyway, we just watched a TV title match between ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson and ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis. I must say, it was a very exciting match, and with a wonderful conclusion!”

 

(I can’t really say what the conclusion is…because as I write this poor excuse for a match, I have no damn clue who the TV champ is. Bah!

 

Edwin chimes in, “Yes! It was absolutely amazing! Both competitors have a bright future here in the SJL! And that’s a compliment coming from the Commissioner himself!”

 

Suicide King rolls his eyes, muttering, “I’m the Commissioner, yada yada, blah blah .. worship the great Comissioner, yeehaw ……moron.”

 

“Annnnnyway, coming up next, we have the most exciting match of the night! Well, so far! It’s the Frost Clobberfied Us match between two of the leagues most promising wrestlers, Insane Luchador and Sydney Sky! I say it’s gonna be a great match! Sydney got the pin on IL on Metal, thanks for Frost’s lack of interest in anything but the European title! So, IL is out for his revenge tonight .. and poor Sydney is gonna be the target.”

 

(That whole paragraph was like one huge run-on sentence, even though it wasn’t. I’m tired.)

 

“Yes! But the femme fatale of the league will be able to handle herself, I predict. And the Commissioner knows what he is talking about.”

 

Suddenly, with the dimming of the lights in the arena, “Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve starts to play softly over the speakers. It slow builds up, getting louder and louder and with a clash, Sydney Sky appears out on the stage. The crowd gives a pop, cheering for the league’s riot grrl! She stands on the stage, waving to the crowd, clad in her usual wrestling outfit that always shows off her midsection.

 

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall.. now coming to the ring, hailing from Los Angeles, California. She stands at 5’11” tall and weighs 170 lbs … SYDNEY SKY!”

 

The crowd pops again, hearing her being announced! She makes her way down the ramp, with a definite saunter, but a clear determination on her face. Syd gives various high fives to people along the way. She gets to the ring, slides in under the ropes and paces around the ring, receiving pops with every gesture! The music slowly fades away and she left to prepare for her match, awaiting her opponent.

 

“Sydney Sky is looking in tip top shape tonight..” Axis mentions, but is cut off by Edwin before he can continue.

 

“She always looks in tip top shape, Axis …”

 

“Eh, I just say she looks hotter than a chili pepper!” Suicide King says, grinning at the vivacious Sydney.

 

(Hotter than a chili pepper? Ugh..I should have gotten more sleep before I tried to do this.)

 

“Dig” by Mudvayne starts up over the speakers, and there is a momentary drop in illumination, but the lights flicker back on. Everything remains dim, as on the stage, Insane Luchador appears, his back to the audience. He arches his back and his arms and hands form a cross. He then spits some black mist which causes a chorus of boos, which he uses as adrenaline as he starts down to the ring.

 

“Now coming to the ring, hailing from Easton, Pennsylvania .. he stands at 6’3” tall and weighs 195 lbs … INSANE LUCHADOR!”

 

The crowd boos, and but as IL enters the ring, he grins, loving the pure disdain he can feel the from crowd in Miami, Florida.

 

“He just LOVES how much everyone HATES him! That sick mofo!”

 

Sydney doesn’t waste any time, grabbing Insane Luchador’s hand as he enters the ring, and Irish whipping him into the ropes. The bell sounds, making the match officially started.

 

“Whoa! Sydney didn’t even want to wait.. that girl is determined to dominate early in this match!”

 

“I think she always dominates … in mostly everything. Heh.”

 

IL is caught off guard when Sydney whips him into the ropes. He hits them awkwardly, blinking, as Sydney lunges at him as he is resting on them, and he moves, causing Sydney to run into them herself, hitting them hard on her stomach! She gasps, and exhales and inhales a sharp breath!

 

“Oh! Sydney completely missed him there, and met her own fate with the ropes that time! Look out Sydney!”

 

Insane Luchador takes advantage of the femme fatale’s vulnerable position and grabs her, whirling her around and starts to pummel her with punches and kicks! Sydney tries to back off, but is followed by IL, still being bombarded by the punches and kicks! Sydney stumbles to the floor, continuing to be bomarded! Sydney starts throwing some wild kicks and punches from the floor, finally kicking IL in the stomach! He groans and doubles over, stumbling back away from the flailing Sydney Sky!

 

(Over a thousand words … Vanilla Coke break. Maybe that will help me not fall asleep at the computer.)

 

IL quickly recovers, as does Sydney, who gets to her feet and moves towards Insane Luchador, with an even more intense determination to dominate things in this match! Sydney runs at him, and jumps up, connecting to his chest and chin area with her feet in a dropkick! IL drops to the ground with a thud and the crowd goes crazy, cheering for the face female.

 

“Sydney Sky quickly recovers and deals a deadly dropkick to IL’s chest! IL didn’t even know what hit him .. Sydney is quite the speedy chick!”

 

Sydney comes at IL as he is on the mat floor, and drops on him with a leg drop, and Insane Luchador flinches with the move and then Sydney goes for an early pin attempt! She hooks his leg up and the referee runs over, sliding to his knees and starting the count!

 

“She goes for a pin!”

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

IL kicks out with ease, and Sydney moves away from him, regaining her breath and focusing on her next move. Insane Luchador rolls to his knees and then to his feet, eyeing the riot grrl with a look of pure hatred! Sydney gives him a wink, and paces around. IL looks absolutely outraged at that!

 

“Ooh, Insane Luchador is living up to his name just by the look on his face. Insane. Sydney is purposely egging him on ..with her sly smiles and occasional winks. That girl has some guts to act this way around a guy like IL.”

 

“Maybe she has the hots for him.”

 

“Doubt it seriously…”

 

Suicide King smirks, “Girls like Sydney like bad boys ..that’s why she has her ultimate crush on me!”

 

“Oh… jeez… that was a delusional statement if I ever heard one!” Axis groans, “Besides .. I heard she had a thing for me.”

 

Edwin pipes up, “You’re both wrong. Women enjoy power … and men with power, therefore, who has more power than the commissioner? Besides ..I heard she liked Pandas….”

 

Insane Luchador comes at Sydney Sky, enraged at the wink and other such subtle mocking gestures, and grabs her! She struggles to escape his grasp, and he tosses her up and then back down to the mat in a german suplex! Sydney smashes to the mat hard, with a boo from the crowd for IL! He musters up his strength and keeps his hold onto Sydney, standing up again and then tossing her back again in another one!

 

“German suplex ..no, TWO german suplexes by IL on the beautiful Sydney Sky! She’ll be lucky to get out of his grasp alive!”

 

“She can do it! She’s the femme fatale! The Daybreak Queen! The Queen of Everything (I just had to inject that somewhere in here! and the Resident SJL RIOT GRRL! She’s Sydney Sky, damnit!” Edwin exclaims, gasping for breath as that sentence was said on one breath.

 

“Don’t’ forget .. she’s hot, too” Suicide King mentions. Edwin continues gasping, his face red from excitement. Axis just shakes his head.

 

“I wonder what I did to be grouped up with you two… it must’ve been something bad, because  I am indeed being punished or something.”

 

Insane Luchador, after the second german suplex, pushes Sydney to the mat floor, pinning her! The referee appears and starts another count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Sydney kicks out, with a renewed sense of energy, pushing IL off of her with a small growl! Insane Luchador backs off for the moment, getting to his feet and watching the femme fatale get to hers. They stare each other down for a moment, with a chorus of cheers and clapping from the audience. Sydney suddenly lunges at him, grabbing his arm and whipping into the ropes with a strong force. IL runs into the ropes, hard, and slumps on them, as Sydney runs over, jumping up in a dropkick, but he moves out of the way, and Sydney misses! Her feet tangle in the ropes a bit, and she falls to the mat! Her head hits with a thump and she arches in pain, rolling around! The crowd lets out a collective gasp, as the feminine element of the JL lies in pain on the floor!

 

“Oho no! Sydney got somewhat tangled in the ropes when she missed that dropkick on IL! She’s now on the floor… and IL has a look on his face that could scare Freddy Kreuger!”

 

“Nice striped shirt there, Axis ..” Suicide King smirks. Axis shoots him a glance.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“My poor Sydney! Get up, my love! Get up!” Edwin calls out.

 

Insane Luchador, taking advantage of the position Sydney finds herself in, that is, being on the floor nearly out of it, .. he starts climbing up the side of the ring, til he reaches the top rope! The crowd starts to go wild, knowing a daredevil type of move must be coming! IL pauses a moment for dramatic purposes, and then jumps off the top rope, in a huge air leg drop! Right onto the Sydney’s body! Sydney flinches wildly as the leg drop hits her, and she seems even more knocked out than she was originally! The crowd boos!!

 

Insane Luchador goes for another pin attempt, hooking her leg up and crushing her into the mat, and seeming to enjoy the fact he is lying on top of a beautiful woman. The referee appears, again, and starts up another count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

Wait! The referee pauses his hand right before he hits the mat the third time … Sydney has her shoulder up! The referee waves his hands around, indicating the count is broken and IL gets enraged, dropping Sydney and getting to his feet, yelling at the referee!

 

(My, wrestlers DO throw tantrums .. don’t they. It’s like pre-school except for the sexy stuff and the really big muscles. ;P)

 

“That was a close pin there! Insane Luchador almost had this match won, but Sydney once again proves she’s not an easy girl to beat! Not at all!”

 

Sydney slowly starts to rouse from her dizziness, as IL continues to fight with the referee over the broken count. The referee and Insane Luchador yell back and forth at each other while Sydney rolls to her knees and pushes up to standing with her arms.. she shakes her head, gaining her bearings and eyes IL as he fights the referee.

 

“She has risen! Sydney has risen and it looks like she has it in for the Luchador of Insanity!”

 

Suicide King murmurs, “I’ve risen for her..”

 

“Ugh!”

 

Sydney comes up to IL, who, by the cheers from the crowd, had a feeling she was up and about! Insane Luchador whirls around, to see Sydney right there! Her fist comes up, connecting to his chin with a pent up force! IL’s head is thrown back, whipped back like a punching bag! His head whips forward, and is hit again by another fist of Sydney’s and she keeps throwing punches on him, as he stumbles back away from her, looking disoriented.

 

“Sydney is giving him payback! You go girl!”

 

Finally, Sydney throws a huge punch and with that, Insane Luchador falls to the floor, groaning and out of it! Sydney looks down at him, and then at the ropes. She runs hops over him and runs at the ropes, jumping onto the second one, and flipping off and over, coming down on IL with a smack! Lionsault!

 

“Fallen Star! Fallen Star on Insane Luchador! A signature Sydney Sky move!”

 

(Really..it’s listed under signature moves on my stats…hah! Another Vanilla Coke Break.)

 

Sydney stays lying on him, hooking up his leg and calling over the referee! A pin attempt the referee appears again, how convenient! He begins a count, slamming his hand on the mat!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Insane Luchador kicks a leg up and Sydney grumbles, getting to her feet, but then grabs onto IL’s feet before he can get up himself! She starts to take his legs and twist around in what can only be described as a pretzel like position! Sydney starts to strain and Insane Luchador starts to flail around, yelling! A sharpshooter!

 

“A sharpshooter!” Axis exclaims. (Wow, he’s fast.) “A sharpshooter by Sydney Sky! IL is going absolutely insane with agony from that move! I do believe that IL has met his match in this fiery redhead!”

 

“… with a nice rack.” Suicide King adds.

 

Sydney is determined to not let this him out of this for a while! Sydney holds it, even though Insane Luchador is struggling with all the might he has left to get out of it! Sydney’s neck is tense, and a few veins can be seen pumping  rapidly!

 

(Heh, I said pumping…)

 

“Sydney will NOT let him go! She is determined not to! The referee is standing by to see if Insane Luchador will give into this devastating submission move and tap out! I think everyone in this place is expecting that to happen ..giving Sydney the win over IL once again!”

 

She continues holding the move. And holding it .. and holding it. The show decides to go on a quick commercial break, showing commercials for milk, the power of cheese and some sort of Gay Day at Disney World!

 

( The 8th dwarf was named Paco. Really, that’s not meant to be insulting.. I swear it’s not. It’s the Vanilla Coke.. I think they put more than just vanilla in this stuff.)

 

The commercial ends, and it’s back to the show, “We even took a short commercial break, and Sydney Sky is still holding that sharpshooter! If she holds it anymore, we won’t have any time for another match after this!”

 

“Maybe the Luchador of Insanity should just tap out, save the embarrassment and just get this over with!”

 

Finally, Sydney tires out and drops IL, who flops to the floor, his arms and legs in completely fiery pain from the horribly awkward stretching that happens in the sharpshooer!

 

Sydney goes for another pin, looking a bit ragged and tired! The referee begins the count again.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-NO! IL musters up some energy from his reserves and kicks out, leaving Sydney dumbfounded!

 

“Insane Luchador kicks out! Even after that long ass sharpshooter that never seemed to end, IL still has some fire in him, and is giving it all he’s got against the femme fatale!”

 

“He r0x0rs sometimes. But she r0x0rs my world…” Suicide King smirks, determined to actually try and ask her out eventually. Riiight.

 

Sydney gets to her feet, pacing around and wiping the little diamond-like droplets of sweat from her brow, and attempting to recover from the strain of her submission move! Sydney looks as though she thought the match would be over after that move!”

 

Insane Luchador is to his feet, recovering from the sharpshooter quicker than expected, though not really fully recovered. He eyes Sydney, as she paces around, sauntering without meaning to. He moves towards Sydney, who in turn moves towards him, both determined to bring the other one down for good! As Sydney approaches, IL jumps up, hitting a hurricanrana on her!

 

“Ouch! Sydney hit with one of her own signature moves! A hurricanrana by Insane Luchador!”

 

“But only Sydney can pull off an Hurricane….”

 

“Ha.. it’s the same move.”

 

”No it’s not..it’s a different name!”

 

“You are both really stupid..but she’s hot. So that’s okay.”

 

“Shut up, King” both Axis and Edwin mutter at King, who shrugs.

 

Sydney hits the mat hard, as does IL, but not as hard Sydney, and he crawls over to Sydney, lying on top of her for a cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Sydney Sky kicks out, she isn’t ready to give in quite yet! IL lets her get to her feet, and then he grabs her! He drags her near the turnbuckle, hitting her with a full nelson! Sydney hits the mat with a huge thud and lies there!

 

“Full Nelson by Insane Luchador! This might be it ..  it looks like he is setting up for his finisher! Sydney is a goner!”

 

After he hits the Full Nelson on Sydney, he moves over to the turnbuckle nearby, climbing up on it. He gets right on the top one, and pauses, looking around the crowd, who is both cheering and booing in mixture. Hating him, but loving the excitement this high risk move is going to incite! Insane Luchador then hits a Full Nelson Bulldog on Sydney Sky!

 

“It’s over! It’s over! That was Insane Luchador’s finisher! There’s no way she can get out of that now!”

 

IL quickly hook Sydney’s leg, and the referee runs over, for certain this is the last count he’ll have to do for tonight! He lifts his hand in the air and slams it down on the mat!

 

ONE!

 

“This is definitely over!”

 

TWO!

 

The crowd goes crazy, booing because they don’t want Insane Luchador to win!

 

THRE-WAIT! The referee pauses right before he hits the mat! He points and right there, Sydney Sky has her foot on the ropes!!!

 

“OMG! Sydney Sky has her foot on the ropes! The ropes! Can you believe it! It’s not over! I can’t believe it’s not over.” Axis yells, looking as though he is about to give himself a heart attack.

 

(Oh, the drama.)

 

Insane Luchador is livid! He jumps up, yelling at the referee, making him back off! IL looks as though he might go off on him, but holds back, wanting to keep this rage just for Sydney Sky! During this, Sydney Sky slowly starts to roll to her feet, having to use the ropes for leverage and trying to get her thoughts straight and her eyes unblurred. She glances over at Insane Luchador and walks over to him, somewhat unbalanced because she is still out of it. She then grabs IL by some of his hair and pulls him back from the referee! She plants a knee hit in his lower back, causing him to yell out and then she whirls him around, planting that knee right in his family jewels!

 

“Sydney comes back from the dead to plant a blunt force kick in Insane Luchador’s nuts! I guess he’s now Insane Luchadora! HA!

 

(Ha..that’s kinda funny, actually…)

 

As Insane Luchador(a) doubles over in agony from his poor nuts being smushed, she grabs his head, shoves it between her legs!

 

(Wait, if he’s now a she because of the smushed nuts.. does that make Sydney a lesbian again? Man, she can’t make up her mind, can she.)

 

She hooks his l arms up behind him and looks up, inciting a great reaction from the crowd. She jumps up and slams IL down to the mat face first!

 

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING! The crowd yells out! IL falls victim to the pedigree!

 

“Daybreak! The Daybreak Queen has done it! She pulled off her finisher! It’s got to be over now!

 

Sydney rolls over Insane Luchador, and hooks up his leg loosely as the referee does another count!

 

ONE!

 

The crowd cheers.

 

TWO!

 

The crowd cheers even more.

 

THREE!

 

“Wooooo!” the crowd cheers louder than ever.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Your winner! SYYYYYYYYYYYDNEY SKYYYYYYYYYY!” Funyon announces, as Sydney drops Insane Luchador’s leg and barely makes it out of the ring. She just drags herself up the ramp, ignoring everything and disappears backstage.

 

“Sydney Sky managed to come back from incredible odds to beat Insane Luchador! Though it looks like she is a bit beat up from that and she didn’t even stick around like normal to live it up!”

 

“If you had just taken a beating like that..you wouldn’t stick around either.”

 

“She’s still hot.”

 

“Anyway.. stay tuned for more SJL Crimson, right after these commercial messages from our sponsors!

 

Fade to black.

[Guest crusen86]

The camera fades back in on Crimson to focus on the commentator’s table.  Axis is going over some notes with a production assistant while King and Edwin appear to be engaged in a heated debate.

 

Edwin: “Catfish Hunter!”

 

King: “Rollie Fingers!”

 

Edwin: “CATFISH HUNTER!”

 

King: “ROLLIE FINGERS!”

 

The two commentators raise a clenched fist at each other as Axis turns from the scurrying away PA back to his cohorts.

 

Axis: “Don’t you think it’s odd for two wrestling announcers to be discussing baseball in the middle of a show?”

 

Edwin: “Who said anything about baseball?  We were discussing which would be the better porn name.”

 

Axis: “Oh…how about Sterling Hitchcock?”

 

(King nods his head approvingly at Axis and Edwin shoots him a thumbs up.)

 

Axis: “To now dispense with the fun and games, we have a very serious and what promises to be very brutal match up to turn our attentions to now.  We go to

Funyon for introductions.”

 

Funyon: (in ring with mic in hand) “The next match is scheduled for one fall with no disqualification rules in affect and is for the SJL European Title.  Now, introducing the challenger from Reykjavik, Iceland and weighing in at 296 lbs.; he has been asked to be introduced as the Pride of Europe for this match, Frrrrrrrrrrrroooooooossssssst!”

 

“Cities on Flame with Rock ‘n Roll” by Blue Oyster Cult thunders over the arena speakers as Frost thunders down the ramp way with a look of sheer intensity on his face.  He carries a five-foot wide, steel wagon wheel against his right shoulder, secured with his arm through the spoke.

 

Axis: “Frost holds a submission win over the current European champ from this show last week in a hardcore encounter that saw the ruthless Icelander crush Deathwish’s ankle with the same wagon wheel he’s carrying to the ring now.”

 

King: “Psychological edge, Frost wants Deathwish to remember last week’s loss.  Anything you can do once, you can do twice.”

 

Edwin: “Is that what you tell girls to get a second date?  But I guess in that case it would be SURVIVE once.”

 

Frost pulls himself up to the ring apron with his free hand on the second rope.  He turns to face the entrance ramp and cinches the wagon wheel tighter to his shoulder.

 

Funyon: “And now for the SJL European Champion; he is a 238 pounder from Louisville, Kentucky; ladies and gentlemen…DEATHWISH…Danny Williaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmssssss!”

 

“Calculating Infinity” by Dillinger Escape Plan strikes up on the speakers, but is almost drowned out by the rousing chorus of boos for the current Euro champ.  Deathwish trots out from behind the entrance curtain and strides confidently down the ramp with a scowl on his face, the championship belt securely around his waist and a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire hoisted high in the air.

 

Axis: “This might be a good time to mention that this match is no dq, but not necessarily hardcore.”

 

King: “What’s the difference?  Beating a guy with a chair is cool either way.”

 

Axis: “Well, count outs should be in affect, but we all know how lax referee Eddy Long is with the rules.”

 

Edwin: “He’s Ex-lax with the rules, he lets them pass right through him and then flushes them down the toilet.”

 

Williams comes to a halt right before the ramp meets up with the ringside area.  He points up at Frost with the 2x4 and shouts obscenities the camera microphones do not overhear.  Frost narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, but says nothing.  Deathwish wraps a fist on the hard finish of his title belt and thrusts his pelvis vulgarly at Frost.  The crowd boos and hisses with vehemence.

 

Axis: “Williams is certainly a little more animated that we are used to seeing him.  The manipulative victory he scored over Tod deKindes to reclaim the Euro belt from him on Metal has certainly boosted his confidence.”

 

King: “Being able to pull the wool over that sheep’s eyes would give anyone a swagger.  I must say it was nice to see Thompson realize that friendship is nothing and doing what will advance you up the ladder here is everything.”

 

Frost extends his right arm and lets the wagon wheel slide down it to his fingertips.  He holds the heavy, steel ring as if it was paper and flicks it to the floor with a clang.  Frost turns and steps over the top ring rope without taking his eyes off of Williams and retreats to the far side of the ring.  Deathwish leaps up to the ring apron and nonchalantly allows his 2x4 to slip out of his fingers.

 

Axis: “Although both men brought a weapon to the ring, it looks like neither one is going to use it…for the time being.”

 

Edwin: “Well, I haven’t seen an actual WRESTLING match in quite some time, this should be a real hoot.”

 

King: “Remind me to send you a copy of  ‘The Best of the Suicide King” DVD then.”

 

Edwin: “I have had trouble sleeping lately.”

 

Williams un-straps the belt from his waist and hands it over the top rope to referee Eddy Long.  Long shows it quickly to Frost, who’s breath visibly catches in his throat, and then hands it through the far second rope to Funyon.  He places it on the timekeeper’s table and the bell is sounded to get the contest underway.

 

DING DING DING

 

Williams finally steps through the second rope and slaps his right bicep with his left hand to get himself loosened up.  The two men circle each other cagily, both looking for a spot to attack.

 

Axis: “While Frost was clearly wanting to face Tod deKindes for this championship bout, he made a very clear message on Metal that nothing mattered to him other than the European title when he allowed Sydney Sky to win their triple threat match by laying her over the Insane Luchardore.  He sees that belt as his birthright almost and is willing to do anything to claim it.”

 

Edwin: “That’s not natural, we need to find Frosty a girl.”

 

Willimas makes the first move by faking to his right and then diving to his left to knock Frost off of his feet with a single leg trip.  Frost plants his left leg firm to keep his balance and reaches down to hook Williams in a reverse headlock.  Deathwish shoves Frost into the near ropes with arms wrapped around the big man’s waist and slings him into the far ropes.  Williams bounces off the near ropes and rushes toward Frost with his arm extended for a clothesline.  Frost ducks under and hits the opposite ropes with gathering momentum.  A surprised Williams spins around and meets Frost leaping off of his feet to deliver a flying forearm to his face.  Both men crumble to the mat and a light cheer sparks the crowd.

 

Axis: “I don’t think we have ever seen a flying forearm from Frost before.  A simple move, but one that shows he is pulling out all the stops for this match.”

 

Edwin: (sticking a finger in his ear and wiggling it around as if he is unplugging it)  “Did I hear cheering for Frost or am I on acid?”

 

Frost springs to his feet and fires a stomp down into the general area of Williams’ head.  Deathwish rolls to his left to avoid it and spins agilely to his feet.

 

King: “These fans have just realized how great Frost is after all this time, but yes, you are on acid.”

 

Edwin: (sounding very surfer) “Cool!”  (he waves his hand in front of his face) Trails, man!”

 

Frost rushes at Deathwish with his sinewy arm out for a clothesline of his own.  Williams sidesteps to his right to avoid the blow and shocks Frost with a knee lift smack dab to the midsection.  Frost’s face tightens from the pain of the blow and Deathwish puts his arms up into Frost’s chest and pushes him into the near corner.

 

Axis: “While Williams usually winds up being the defacto ‘face,’ to put it in wrestling terms, when two rule breakers meet up, my guess would be that this crowd is still upset over the heinous turn of events last week involving Thompson’s giving in to Deathwish’s dark side.”

 

Edwin: “TNT is the Darth Vader to his Emperor if you will.”

 

Williams rockets another knee lift into Frost’s midsection and follows with three piercing chops to his chest.  The fans refuse to “Whoo!” along.  Frost lets loose with a primal howl in the corner and touches his already welting chest.

 

Edwin: “And that would make Frost Chewbacca.”

 

King: “And that from the SJL’s personal Jar Jar Binks.”

 

Edwin: (in high pitched voice) “Mees no understand.”

 

Deathwish takes Frost by his wrist and whips him across the ring to the opposite corner.  Frost twists in mid-run and slams back first into the top turnbuckle and slumps down.  Deathwish charges with a whole head of steam, leading with his shoulder.  Frost dodges to his right and Danny clocks the turnbuckle with his right shoulder.  Frost steps behind Williams on the bounce out to stand back to back with him.  He hooks his beefy right arm around the grappler’s neck and pulls him to the center of the ring.

 

Axis: “Frost with his signature Icealandic Backbreaker, a hanging body vice for you old school fans.”

 

King: “I would say it’s a little too early to be going for a submission, but wearing a man like Deathwish down with superior strength is a solid strategy.”

 

Edwin: (amazed) “You know, if you keep talking like a real analyst I’m going to have to pay you more money.”

 

Frost ratchets down on Danny’s neck and leans so far forward his face is nearly grazing the mat.  Williams fidgets and flops in the air struggling for air.  He tries firing a few elbows into Frost’s lower back, but the angle is skewed and his leverage is non-existent so the big man hardly feels them.    

 

King: “Nothing could compare to what I made as SWF World Champion, plus all the shrimp I could eat.”

 

Edwin: (breathing a sigh of relief) “Glad to hear you reverting to form.”

 

Frost finally tires of the body vice and flips Deathwish over his shoulder to crash face first on the mat.  Frost falls to the mat by driving a knee to the back of Williams’ head and then rolls him over for the pin.

ONE

TWO

Deathwish raises his right shoulder and gives a little kick out.  Frost breaks and rises to his knees.

 

Axis: “Deathwish is still winded and I have to think that not hooking the leg saved a defeat.”

 

Edwin: “It’s way too early for a win, no low blows yet.”

 

Frost rises to his feet and steps back into the ropes while Williams continues to wheeze on the mat for air.  Frost pops off the ropes at a fast walk, pulls up in front of William, twists on his back foot, cocks an elbow and plunges to the canvas.  Deathwish rolls out of the way again and bails to the floor.  Frost sits up and holds his bumped elbow.

 

Axis: “While Deathwish might not be the fastest superstar in the SJL, his smaller size and speed is giving Frost a bit of trouble here in the early going.”

 

Edwin: “Yeah, but it’s like a box turtle racing a sloth.  Everything’s relative.”

 

Deathwish bends over and places his hands on his knees sucking wind.  He looks up to see a camera in his face.

 

Deathwish: “Screw this bullsh*t, time to even the odds.”

 

Williams leans down to pick up his barbed wire wrapped 2x4 and hops back up to the ring apron.  Frost is back up as well and standing near the ring ropes with his back turned.  Danny makes with a wild swing that Frost just sees with his peripheral vision as he turns.  The Icelander ducks and grabs the second rope firmly with both hands.  He throws his right shoulder forward to catch Williams in the ribs and it knocks him hurtling to the floor with his body spread flat.  Deathwish drops the wired board in the ring as he falls and his body smacks the outside ring mats with a wet splat.

 

King: “Ah, the Nestea Plunge, shades of Mick Foley getting his ass kicked.”

 

Edwin: “Who?”

 

King: “I don’t know, I read about him on the internet.”

 

Frost reaches down to pick up the wired board and he steps through the second rope to the ring apron.  He stares down at Williams’ prone, barely twitching form and tosses the 2x4 up in the air with a twist and catches it as the crowd pops.

 

Edwin: “I don’t think he’s rolling out of the way this time.”

 

King: “He better if there’s going to be anything left of him to finish the match with.”

 

Frost flips the board upside down with the barbed wire facing the floor and poised over his head like an attacking dagger.  He skips off the mat and brings the jagged twine and hard wood slamming into Deathwish’s chest.  The fans ‘ooo,’ as Williams yelps and he rolls over to his chest.

 

Axis: “I probably don’t have to remind anyone after that move, but that surely pounds home that no dq’s are taking place here.”

 

Edwin: “It probably also cues TNT to run-in from the back.”

 

Frost grabs Deathwish by his shoulder as he rests on the floor on his knees.  He rolls the man back over and maliciously grounds the wired covered board into the Euro champ’s already bloody chest.

 

Axis: “It wouldn’t surprise me to see Thompson make a run-in, but he did have a very grueling match with Mak Francis earlier this evening.”

 

Edwin: “Yeah, backstabbers try to do as little as possible.”

 

King: “If we can get away with it…(stammers as he realizes what he just said) I mean uh, uh, I a former and uh, uh noble SWF World Champ, uh, wouldn’t know anything about that.”

 

Williams slaps weakly at Frost’s arms and squirms around to roll over on his stomach and away from him.  He crawls over to the wagon wheel and pulls himself up on it like a drowning man to a raft.  Frost stands up and stalks over to Williams with the board held loosely in his right hand.  The crowd roars, but Frost pays them no heed.

 

Edwin: “This is probably the only time the fans will ever be behind this guy.  Frost should enjoy it while he can.”

 

Axis: “Perhaps if they are still with him after he wins the title, but nothing is going to break his single minded concentration now.”

 

Eddy Long leans over the ropes, doing a very lazy count and making halfhearted pleas for the men to reenter the ring.  Frost sneers at Long as he stands over Deathwish.  Frost drops the 2x4 and rolls under the bottom ring rope for a fraction of a second to break Long’s count.

 

Axis: “Long is certainly going to give this match a lot of slack, but Frost has to be weary of a double count out, which would allow Williams to retain.”

 

King: “The count out and Bannion’s Big Gold Belt Wax: a champ’s two best friends.”

 

Frost picks a slightly less woozy Williams roughly up from behind by his shoulders and spins him around.  Frost puts an arm up under the man’s armpit and cinches him tight to his body.

 

Axis: “FROST IS GOING FOR THE ICE SHELF ON THE WAGON WHEEL! THAT COULD BREAK HIS BACK!”

 

Before Frost can pick him up, Williams bends his free arm near Frost’s chest in and flips it up into the man’s jaw.  Frost’s head snaps back and Danny quickly locks Frost’s extended arm and drops him down to bang into the wagon wheel with his left shoulder.

 

Axis: “DEATHWISH COUTNERS WITH A SINGLE ARM DDT!”

 

Edwin: “That Foley guy is surely getting a lot of props this match.”

 

Williams pulls himself up by the nearby guardrail and touches a hand to his bleeding chest.  He pulls it off and looks at the blood with a disgusted look.  He fires two short stomps into the back of Frost’s head while he is still lying stunned over the wheel.  Frost bucks from the blows and rolls over to his back.  Deathwish climbs back to the apron and reenters through the second rope.  Williams taunts the crowd and Long restarts his count at one.

 

Axis: “Deathwish seems to think that this is it and is now waiting on the count out victory instead of staying outside and making sure that Frost stays down.”

 

King: “It’s more humiliating this way to Frost.  Same thing Williams did last week in their match.  He doesn’t want to beat him, he wants to take him out like Frost took everyone else out.”

 

Frost sits up as Long reaches four on his count.  His left arm hang limps at his side and a nasty bruise is coming to color on his shoulder to accompany the welts on his chest.  Frost gingerly stands up at the count of six and glares at Williams gloating in the ring.  Frost takes a deep breath in trying to block out the pain in his arm and rolls back in the ring at eight.

 

Axis: “Frost is miraculously continuing this match on a busted shoulder.  The extent of the injury we have yet to fully know.”

 

King: “Go for the pin now Deathwish!  Just take him out in a post match beat down like I used to do as SWF champion.”

 

Edwin: “And which end of that beat down were you usually on?”

 

Williams stomps over to Frost as he pulls himself up by the ropes with his good arm.  Williams bumps shoulders with his opponent and Frost winces.  Deathwish smiles devilishly and sends two clubbing punches into the bad shoulder.  Frost back pedals in trying to get some room between he and Williams.  Danny follows and catches Frost by the left wrist.  He thrusts out his knee and brings the arm down with a crisp snap over it.  Frost screams but can’t break from the wristlock as Williams resets and performs the move again.

 

Axis: “Two standing arm breakers by Williams.  The shoulder injury is playing perfectly into Williams set up for the cross face chicken wing”

 

Edwin: “Ain’t no thing, but a chicken wing.”  (Edwin drags his hand in the air in a Z formation while snapping his fingers on the points of the gesture.)

 

Williams twists the wristlock for all he is worth and jerks down on it with an arm wringer.  Frost attempts to run out of the move while his face is a constant mask of pain.  Deathwish lets up on the wringer for just a second to re-secure the wristlock and Frost takes the split second breather to turn into the move toward Danny and throws a short jab into the man’s bloody chest.  Williams lets go and stumbles back from the shot.

 

Axis: “Frost sneaks in a shot on Deathwish’s weak chest as both men are the walking wounded in this contest.”

 

Frost leans back into the near ropes and lifts his elbow cocked over his head.  Williams recovers and dodges the bionic elbow to his left to slip behind Frost.  He locks the grappler around the waist.  Frost reverses before Deathwish can lock his hands tight and catches him around the waist.  Williams reverses again and snaps Frost over his head to fall to the mat in a German suplex.  He bridges for the pin.

ONE

TWO

Williams can’t hold the bridge and the Icelander rolls out of the move to his right.

 

Axis: “Williams gets the best of the standing switches to surprise the unbalanced Frost with a German suplex.”

 

King: “But his weight was too much for Danny to keep the bridge.”

 

Edwin: “Frosty needs to go on a diet, too much rich American food.”

 

Frost scoots on his rear to set in the near corner, still too dazed to stand up.  Williams strides in and puts both hands on the top rope.  He picks up his right leg and grounds the heel of his boot into Frost’s shoulder.  Frost kicks his legs madly and tries to pull the foot off with his free hand.

 

Axis: “You better not let Frost hear you say that, Edwin.  He takes great pride in his European heritage; a native Icelander, educated at the esteemed University of Oslo in Norway, a former Icelandic heavyweight champ who has faced the best grapplers in Europe and persevered.”

 

King: “And our European champion is a guy from Jerkwater, Kentucky.”

 

Edwin: “Louisville, I think they changed the name back in the forties.”

 

Williams pulls back from the stomp and delivers a knee into Frost’s shoulder.  He pulls his aching opponent to his feet by the sides of his head and leads him to the center of the ring.  He tucks Frost’s head under his right arm and takes a fistful of tights with his left hand.  He pulls Frost slightly off the mat and tosses him back at a high angle with a DDT to the canvas.  The fans boo as Frost’s head bounces off the mat.  Williams takes a second to raise a middle finger to the crowd and rolls Frost over on his back for the pin.  He hooks the leg and Long counts.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Frost kicks out and raises a shoulder at the last instant.

 

Axis: “HE KICKED OUT! Unbelievable, Frost kicked out.  He wants this win bad.”

 

King: “Screw the pin, go for the chicken wing already.”

 

Williams leans back to his knees and then stands up.  He slaps the back of his right hand into the palm of his left three time very fast to show Long how he wants him to count.  Long is unimpressed.  Frost struggles up from the mat and schoolboys the unsuspecting Deathwish from behind.  Long drops to deliver a blistering fast

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Williams rolls back out of the move and takes his feet in the corner.  He glares at Long as the ref smirks, but no words are exchanged.  Frost lays still woozy on the mat.

 

Axis: “Almost had him.  While the body might be weakened, the Icelander’s mind and ring vision is still sharp.”

 

Williams slips out of the ring under the bottom rope and runs over to the timekeeper’s table.  He snatches his Euro title and slides back into the ring.  Frost is up on his knees and swaying loosely.

 

Axis: “A belt shot was the icing on the cake last week against deKindes.”

 

Edwin: “It might be the frosting for Frost here.”

 

Deathwish holds the belt up to the crowd and they roar their disapproval.  He expertly measures Frost with the belt in both hands and charges with the strap high over head.  As he brings it down, Frost shoots up both hands and catches Williams around the wrists.  Deathwish thrusts his right leg back to gain more leverage and push with all his might on the belt.  Frost struggles to keep the belt at bay and his whole body is wracked with exertion.

 

Axis: “Frost fights the belt shot.  He’s holding fast and won’t let the leather strap drop.”

 

Frost rises to one knee, still pushing up with all he has left.  He makes his feet and hauls off with a kick to Deathwish’s groin.  Williams lets loose of the belt and falls to his knees holding his pelvis.

 

Edwin: “Alright, we’ve had a nut shot, someone can win now.”

 

Frost lifts the belt over his own head and stares down at Williams.  He takes a deep breath and then lowers the belt and turns it over in his hands to look at its face.  He savors the sight for a second and the glare of the arena lights off of the belt into Frost’s eyes sits like a gold band.  He respectfully hands the belt back to Long and he lays it in the lower right hand ring corner.

 

King: “Jesus, Frost, just take him out with the damn thing, check your honor like I do.”

 

Edwin: “I said it before, I’ll say it again, that boy is not right.”

 

Frost heads back over to Williams as he pulls himself up by the ropes in the near corner.  Frost charges with his hands linked over his head in a double axe handle.  Deathwish sees Frost in the corner of his vision and sidesteps him.  Frost clocks the empty turnbuckle and Williams wraps his arms around Frost’s from behind and forces him down to the mat.

 

Axis: “THE CHICKEN WING! DEATHWISH MAKES WITH THE CHICKEN WING!”

 

Frost reaches out and clamps the ropes, but Long just shrugs his shoulders and stands there.

 

King: “Dumbass, it’s no dq, the ropes do nothing.”

 

Danny clamps down on the hold with all of his might and cranks the move.  Frost seethes and struggles.

 

Axis: “He has it on firm and on the bad shoulder too.”

 

King: “Just tap, man, tap.”

 

Frost lets go of the bottom rope and lays his hand flat on the canvas and bridges up on his right arm.  He shakes his head, trying to get the adrenaline flowing as much as possible and with a one armed push up he flips Williams up and over on his back.  Deathwish lets go and struggles out from under Frost’s heavy bulk as Long counts.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE

Williams just slips out and rolls over to his knees.

 

Axis: “WHAT STRENGTH! WHAT POWER!”

 

King: “WHAT SUCKING UP!”

 

Frost stumbles to his feet, breathing heavy.  A frustrated Deathwish charges with a shoulder to the midsection.  Frost backs up to roll with the blow and hooks Williams around his waist.  He flips the man up against his chest and brings him down on the mat hard, hooking his legs over Danny’s shoulders.

 

Axis: “THE EARLY WINTER OUT OF NOWHERE!

 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

Williams lays on the canvas as Frost is helped to his feet by Long, who holds his arm aloft in victory.

 

Funyon: “Here is your winner…and NEW European champion FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Edwin: “I think he’s crying.”

 

King: “He is not crying.”

 

Edwin: “Ah, who cares, finally Frosty the Snowman can be a jolly happy soul.”

 

Axis: “What a show of true grit by Frost.  He hung on past the point most men would have tapped out and snatched a stunning win for his heart’s desire.”

 

Edwin: (singing) “There must have been some magic in the Euro belt he found.  ‘Cause when Frosty put it one he began to dance around.”

 

Frost holds the belt up to the crowd who cheer despite themselves for the heel.  Frost, still wincing at the pain his left arm, climbs up to the second turnbuckle of the upper left corner and hoists the belt up with both hands.  

 

Axis: “Deathwish is stirring and he is not happy.”

 

Williams runs up behind Frost and shoves his head up under the man’s legs.  The elation fades from Frost’s face into shock, as he is electric chair dropped to the canvas below.  The crowd jeers and Williams picks up the title from where it fell out of Frost’s hands.  He straddles Frost with the belt in hand and reigns down blow after blow after blow with the strap.

 

King: “Yeah, if you have to be a loser, at least be a sore one.”

 

Axis: “Williams has opened a nasty gash over Frost’s head and the whole area is becoming soaked with blood.”

 

Deathwish stands up from Frost’s unconscious body and kisses the blood splattered European title, savoring the flavor.  He throws the belt down on Frost and leaves the ring yelling and screaming at the riotous crowd.  The camera focuses in on Frost’s crimson visage and the red stained belt laying limp on his chest as the screen fades to black.

 

Axis: “WILLIAMS DEFACES THE EURO TITLE AND LEAVES FROST LAYING COLD!  WHAT WILL COME NEXT FOR THESE TWO MEN IS HARD TO SAY!”

[Guest crusen86]

As the commercial for the new World Wildlife Fun Panda action figure (it bites, farts and blows – just like the WWE brand) comes to a close, the screen fades to black, and only seconds later does it transition back to the millions… OH… and the millions… of screaming, electrified, and adequately drunk SJL hardcore fans! The camera swerves through the crowd of signs, foam fingers and beer bottles!

 

Signs are spotted, such as :

 

“ONE MORE TIME FOR THA RENEGADE MASTA!!!!!”

“The fans want another former Destruction member to take the belt…”

“ASH KETCHUM DID A COMMERCIAL IN OUR 7-11!”

next to the last sign : “We were traumatized during the Slurpee segment…”

“DESTRUCTION PRIDE LIVES ON FOREVER”

 

And then, the screen transitioned to the ol’ announce table, where fans are throwing a heavy bombardment of Mentos? at Axis, Edwin and King!

 

King : “Owww! Goddamnit, stupid stupid fans!” *shakes fist at crowd* “I don’t deserve this… I’m a King, a legend… I’m THE ICON!”

 

One fan throws a box of Windows XP software at King!

 

Edwin : “Getting Windows thrown at you… wow, you must be one crappy icon!”

 

Axis : “Welcome back to SJL Crimson, folks! We have had a great, GRRREEAAT show for you tonight!”

 

Tony the Tiger : “They’re GRRRRRREEAAAT!”

 

Axis : “Bah, I don’t need you telling me how to talk. You’re a mascot. Anyway, you can all still feel the shockwaves set off by Tom Flesher, as he joined the Clan on last Metal… not to mention the rise of a strange new power…”

 

Edwin : “And now he’s named… HAHAHA… Durandal!? Oh lord, what was Thoth smoking when he made that name up?”

 

Thoth : “…the Clan’s nirvana drug. Made from the finest natural herbs and mind control substances, concocted together… for the utmost SATANIC EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL!!!!!”

 

Edwin : “Thoth isn’t supposed to be here. Damn, I must still be pretty high myself. Wheeeeee! Can I have some of that evil stuff too, Thoth?”

 

Axis : “Seeing as I’m the only man here with ANY credibility right now, I’ll announce the next matchup. With the rising of the New Sound during Ash’s rematch with Durandal, Ced and Z challenged Mafia and Flexxx to a tag match.”

 

Edwin : “New Sound? Durandal? Clan acid? The SJL is becoming more scandalous with every passing day. FUNYON, take the miiiiiiiic!”

 

…as WF legend Funyon clears his throat, the fans ready themselves to mark out.…

 

Funyon : “THIS SCHEDULED MATCH IS A TAG TEAM COMPETITION WITH STANDARD TAG RULES, FOR ONE FALL!!!!!!!!! Here come the competitors…”

 

"I'm Afraid Of Americans" by David Bowie (with NIN) starts to play on the SmarksTron speakers, and a plethora of jeers and boos rain out like fiery hail from the crowd, as a dark beat resonates throughout the arena. Images of an unruly, cold-blooded maverick and an arrogant ring master are merged together on the SmarksTron video screen, and Flexxx and Mafia enter the inner arena. As Mafia turns backwards and spreads the arms of his trenchcoat in a crucifix position, Flexxx raises his hands up, Diamond Cutter-like, and breaks his hands apart to cue for three large pyros to erupt!

 

***BOOM!***

 

***BOOM!***

 

***BOOM!***

 

Smoke envelops Flexxx and Mafia as they strut down the ramp…

 

Funyon : “The first two competitors, at a combined weight of 454 pouns, they are members of the New Sound………… MAFIA AND FLEEEEEEEXXX!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Flexxx and Mafia step into the ring and each man mounts a turnbuckle to raise their arms high up in the air. The crowd would throw mentos at both of them, but they wasted all of those precious little mint candies on the announcers!

 

And now…

 

The cheery pop sounds of Faith No More's 'Epic' funk over the stereo system, as the crowd nearly detonates with cheers! Double spotlights shine down on the ramp, as Z and Ced throw aside the curtain and reveal themselves to the millions of electrified SJL fans!

 

Z : “Arrrrrr, matey! Shiver me timbers!”

Ced : “…And I’ll be your love captain for this voyage, ladies and gentleman…”

 

Funyon : “Uh… what the unclefuck?”

 

Edwin : “Oh ho ho ho! Z the Blue-bearded pirate and Ced the captain of the loooooveeeee booooaaat!!!”

 

Axis : “Uh… say what now?”

 

Funyon : “The second team of competitors, at a combined weight of 420 pounds, they are part of X Force Nine……………….. ZEE AND CED!!!!!”

 

When Z and Ced step into the ring, Z swings his plastic toy sword and Ced readjusts the collar of his sailor suit. Flexxx and Mafia gawk across the ring at Z and Ced like they have serious mental problems, and the two Saviors of the SJL become so disgusted that they are prompted to turn away from Z and Ced, eyeing the crowd.

 

…And Z and Ced sneak up behind their opponents with those fake pirate swords and CRACK! Flexxx and Mafia stumble onto the ropes as XF9 ambushes them from behind! The fans go absolutely frickin’ nuts! Hardcastle signals for the bell!

 

 

 

 

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

Z then strikes the fake sword directly across the Flunkmasta’s back, and knocks him down on the mat! Ced latches onto Flexxx’s long, black dreads and takes him down in a swooping motion for a facebuster! Z and Ced then each grab one of Flexxx’s legs, spreads them open wide, and rams their boots into the porn star’s golden package!

 

Edwin : “OOOOHHH!!!! What a sadistic nutshot!”

 

As Mafia starts to get back up from the DEVASTATING~! blow to the neck from a…. uh… plastic toy, the tagtastic duo of Z and Ced bullrush Mafia from behind by planting  a double kick into his spine, turning that sum-bitch around, whipping him into the ropes… after Mafia rebounds and uncontrollably sprints towards the XF9ers, Z lifts the Hitman onto his shoulders for a Sky High and Ced grabs Mafia’s head…

 

 

 

MEGATON THUD, YO!!!

 

Axis : “Oh my gawd almighty! An unknown double team finisher! Now, both Flexxx and Mafia are out of their game!”

 

King : “A nutshot… and a sky high-neckbreaker? *sigh*… that’s it. Kill the bastard who wrote this horrible piece of crap script!”

 

ICD : “No… don’t pull the trigger! NOOOOOOO……….. *BANG* uuuuurrrrgh…”

 

Axis : “…wasted…”

 

Just as Z and Ced are ready to finish off Mafia… they see two people carrying cardboard cutouts of Poisyn and Insane Luchador, just sorta hovering over the ground. As the two people step into the ring, Z and Ced point at them and laugh like a bunch of jackasses. Z pulls out his spraycan of red paint and writes out, “Yoda ownz j00” on both cardboard cutouts’ foreheads.

 

And then… the cardboard falls onto the ground, and Poisyn and IL were already holding up their middle fingers long enough to hold the position.

 

Axis : “UH. OH.”

 

IL spews a cloud of black mist into Ced’s eyes, whips him into the ropes, and grabs his head so that the Plague can assume the Full Nelson position and drive the back of Ced’s skull into the hard canvas! BRINK OF INSANITY!

 

 

…Poisyn plants a sharp roundhouse kick into Z”s gut! The Alphabetamaniac bends down in bowel-shaking pain, and Poisyn then lifts Z into the Fireman’s Carry. In one swift motion, Poisyn thrusts Z’s skull in between his legs, from 6 feet in the air, and spikes the loopy XF9er on the mat!

 

Edwin : “Oh ho ho oh noooooo! POISYN HITS ‘THE CRAWLING’ ON ZEE!”

 

King : “Interference is sweet… sniff that fragrant scent of rotten tactics, my children!”

 

Then… oh my GOD… it’s not over yet! Stay awake, folks! Insane Luchador runs to the corner post, as Ced and Z still lay motionless, and IL mounts himself on top of the turnbuckle. Looking down on Z, Andrew Rickmen leaps while flipping backwards and twisting his body, and IL’s leg comes crashing down at an angle onto Z’s ribs!

 

Axis : “NO! Corkscrew Moonsault on Z! It’s pretty safe to say that this match is over, folks, due to the rest of the New Sound’s interference!”

 

Insane Luchador hooks the leg on Z, and Poisyn covers Ced for a double pinfall! Referee Hardcastle raises his hand up for that ominous three-count…

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!!!!!!!!”

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

Axis : “NOOOOOOO! The New Sound cheated X Force Nine out of a tag victory! A victory that could’ve brought Z and Ced great opportunity!”

 

King : “Ah, who cares. I’ll just go backstage and finish sexing up your momma… fo’ she’s tha Suicide Queen!”

 

“Ashes in the Fall” by RATM resonates through the arena, and the fans start throwing mentos at the announcers again. Poisyn, IL, Flexxx, and Mafia all stand up in the ring over Z and Ced’s limp bodies, and they all do the DX suck-it gesture for total humiliation! All four of these bad, bad men have sick, sick, SIIIIIIIICK smiles on their wretched, acne-distorted faces! Riiiiight…

 

 

 

 

Axis : “And now for the true show-stealer! This next match up is a LAST BLOOD MATCH!!!!! You better get ready folks, this will be INTENSE~! with Durandal defending his title against Ash Ketchum and #1 contender Xero! All of this is coming up……. NEXT!”

[Guest crusen86]

Fade back in on the National Car Rental Arena in Miami, where the camera pans the crowd. Lucky fans get on camera by holding signs such as "Absolute Xero," "The New Sound: Funny, but it's still Rock and Roll to Me" and "Flesher/Ketchum III: This Time, It's Got Xero." The camera turns to the SmarkTron, which shows the SJL World Title graphic; under it, the names "DURANDAL, ASH KETCHUM, XERO" scroll in, and red begins dripping down over the graphic until it now reads "LAST BLOOD." The fans cheer loudly and continue the usual "AXIS! AXIS" chant until the camera zooms in on the announce table. There, Edwin, Axis and Suicide King sit in their respective seats. Well, not Edwin, exactly, since he's standing on his chair facing the crowd, conducting the chant using a telestrator pen as a baton.

 

Edwin: Hmm... a little more allegro here... now, maybe if we brought up the bassoons...

 

Axis grabs Edwin by the tail of his red vinyl coat and yanks him back down to the table.

 

Axis: We're back with SJL Crimson, and it's time for the main event! Tonight we'll see a Last Blood match featuring the competing talents of the PokeFreak Ash Ketchum, Xero, and the SJL World Champion, Durandal!

 

King: AHEM... TWO-TIME SJL World Champion Durandal?

 

Axis: Yes, I suppose he is... erm... in any event. Xero is the number-one contender to the SJL World Championship, by virtue of an inferno match a week ago against Jacob Helmsley...

 

Edwin: The PIPE! THE PIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!!!!!!!!

 

Axis: ...and Ash Ketchum was the World Champion for a week in between Durandal's two reigns. King, what do you think about this match?

 

King: Durandal wants it too bad to give it up. He wants nothing more than to keep this belt around his waist. He's also willing to cause serious, permanent injury to do it. I don't see how he can lose.

 

Edwin: Oh, I beg to differ, my Kevorkianic friend. Ash Ketchum wants his belt back, and may I remind you we're still in Florida, which is Ketchum's home state. Ketchum wants the belt back, and I think he can stay in there longest.

 

Axis: Xero is the dark horse. He's a high-flying Mexican-style wrestler and he just hasn't been the same since he was forced to wear a dress several weeks ago. He can definitely be a factor here, and with that, we go to Funyon.

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, and Suicide King... it is now time for our main event. Tonight's contest is a Last Blood match, and it is for the SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

The fans cheer loudly.

 

Funyon: The rules are simple... there are none. There are no pins, no submissions, no countouts and no disqualifications! As each man begins to bleed, he will be escorted... or carried... out of the ring and to the back, and the match will continue! The winner will be the only man not bleeding! And now, the competitors!

 

The lights go out. As a voice says "A light in the black," the camera sweeps up the entranceway. A spotlight shines on the curtains. "... Or just the fear of the dark," the voice continues. After that line, Xero walks out to "Fear of the Dark" by Iron Maiden, holding his Kendo stick. Xero walks down towards the ring with the spotlight shining on him. He enters the ring, and climbs up the turnbuckles holding his arms closely towards his chest.

 

Funyon: The first athlete.... hailing from Port Colborne...... ONTARIO, CANADA, and weighing in tonight at 199 pounds, or 90 kilos for those of you who care... The paranoid android... he hears voices, and I don't mean mine... XERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The fans pop loudly for Xero as he salutes them from the cornerpost, then hops down and sets the Kendo stick on the outside. The lights stay down as the music fades out, and the song is replaced by U2's "Elevation."

 

Axis: Ash Ketchum was actually supposed to debut a new theme song here tonight.

 

Edwin: How odd that he didn't, especially since I know for a fact that he planned on it.

 

Axis: Yes, well, let's just blame it on production difficulties, shall we?

 

Pyro cascades down over the SmarkTron and explodes in front of the curtain. Just then, as the first words of "Elevation" ring out over the loudspeaker, the pyro stops and is replaced by a lone spotlight shining down on the curtain, illuminating Ash Ketchum posing with his back to the fans. Misty stands next to him, smiling as always, with her hands on her hips. Ash spins around from his pose, and together the two walk down the ramp. Just as they reach the halfway mark, Ash stops abruptly and throws his right arm into the air with a V for Victory sign. The fans pop loudly as five red blasts explode in unison on the stage. Ash and Misty come out of their poses and walk down to ringside. Ash high-fives a few fans, but it's evident that his mind is on the belt tonight.

 

Funyon: His opponent, from Pallet Town, in Tampa...... FLORIDA!!!!!! [pause for pop] and weighing in at 258 pounds, or just shy of 120 kilos.... Representing X Force 9... the Cerebral Prankster, the Master of the Gimmick Match, and the man you're here to see... ASH KETCHUM!!!!!!!

 

The fans cheer loudly for Ash, and he acknowledges them as he climbs onto the apron. He holds the ropes for Misty and mounts his turnbuckle, tossing his shirt to a lucky fan in the first few rows. Ash hops off the turnbuckle, kisses Misty's hand and holds the ropes while she exits the ring.

 

Axis: Well look at these two, showing great confidence in the face of adversity. I talked to these two backstage and they're very sure that Ash is going to reclaim the SJL World Title tonight.

 

King: They're also very sure that someday Santa's going to bring Ash a Blastoise for Christmas. Got news for you... it's not going to happen.

 

Finally, the lights go down one more time, and the slow, eerie intro to Stabbing Westward's "Darkest Days" begins to play. The fans greet the music with boos and the words "SO SAYS THE CLAN" appear on the all-white SmarkTron in a black Gothic font. The words pulsate as Durandal walks through the curtain wearing his black Clan robe, a grey shirt and black dress pants which are safety-pinned shut across the zipper. He folds his arms across his chest, waiting for the boos to stop. When they don't, he removes the belt of his robe and flings it open, showing off the big gold SJL World Title belt. The lights shine off it, and the fans boo even louder. He stares up at the ring and strides up the aisle.

 

Funyon: And finally, their opponent, hailing from Buffalo, New York and weighing in tonight at 213 pounds... or 97 kilos... The Neglected Sword... Representing the Clan, he is the SJL WORLD CHAMPION..... Durandalllllllllll!

 

The fans boo as Durandal enters the ring, then walks to the center. He removes the belt and lays it in the center of the ring, then kneels down and kisses it to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Durandal gets back to his feet, hands the belt to Matthew Kivell, and folds his robe neatly in his corner. Kivell holds the belt aloft, then calls for the bell and hands the belt out to the timekeeper.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!

 

 

Axis: This one's underway! The three are all standing in their corners... none of them wants to make the first move!

 

Ash and Durandal stare at each other. It's clear that they want each other, they want to cause pain. Finally, Durandal walks to the center of the ring, points at each of his opponents, and flips both of them off! With that, Xero walks to the center of the ring and shoves Durandal. Durandal answers back with a palm to the chest, and the match is officially started. Xero and Durandal exchange blows quickly before Ash storms in and levels both men with a double clothesline. Durandal gets back up and stares angrily at Ash before diving at him with a double-leg takedown. Ash falls to the mat and the Clan member drops an elbow into Ash's stomach before mounting him and throwing a series of palm blows. Quickly, though, Ash bridges out and kicks Durandal off, stopping the assault.

 

Axis: What exuberance from these three athletes! You can tell that they all want to win this match!

 

King: *cough DUMBASS cough* Yeah, I don't think anyone could have figured that out for themselves.

 

Axis: I'm the play-by-play guy, King. It's my job to point out these things.

 

King: And you'd know all about doing jobs, wouldn't you?

 

Edwin: And you'd know all about giving 'jobs, wouldn't you, King?

 

Durandal and Ketchum square off, but Xero taps Durandal on the shoulder. He turns around, only to be met with a superkick from Xero! He stumbles backwards and Ketchum grabs him, tossing him overhead in a German suplex and releasing him. Durandal crashes to the mat and Ketchum turns around to watch the impact, only to have Xero nail him in the back of the head with another superkick! Ketchum falls forward onto Durandal, and Xero follows it up with an elbowdrop! The three each roll out of the way, all more wary of the others and regaining their balance. Durandal grabs Ash and starts hammering him with a series of palm strikes to the head and chest, then Irish-whips him to the ropes. Ash bounces off the ropes, only to be nailed by a Durandal dropkick to the knee. Durandal takes the opportunity to grab Ash by the neck and throw him through the ropes to the outside. Xero catches Durandal from behind with a waistlock, looking for a German suplex. Durandal, however, reaches down and grabs Xero's leg, pulls it up and sends Xero spilling to the ground. Durandal uses the grip to spin Xero onto his stomach and locks up an ankle lock.

 

Axis: Why is Durandal even bothering to use the ankle lock here?

 

King: pfffffft. Shows what you know. If Xero can't walk, how's he going to make him bleed?

 

Edwin: OOOH! I know! He'll kick him in the face!

 

Axis: No, I believe what he was saying was...

 

Edwin: Or he might have a blade in his pocket!

 

Axis: Well, Edwin...

 

Edwin: Of course, that might not be a good idea, since he might cut himself when he reaches for it.

 

Axis: Edwin, I....

 

Edwin: Also, he doesn't have pockets. Hmmm....

 

Axis sighs frustratedly as Durandal cranks on Xero's knee, not watching Ketchum. Ash, meanwhile, climbs to the apron, then up to the top turnbuckle. The fans pop, but Ash motions for them to quiet down, and the Florida fans dutifully obey. As the Clan's representative twists Xero's ankle painfully, Ash crouches on the turnbuckle, then pounces off, nailing Durandal from behind with the Rocket Launch missile dropkick! Durandal staggers forward, releases the hold and rolls out of the ring holding his head. Xero spins out into a sitting position, and Ash reaches down to offer him a hand up. Xero cautiously accepts, and Ash lifts him to his feet unharmed. The crowd pops like crazy for the hometown hero's sportsmanship!

 

Edwin: Awwww, well isn't that...

 

King: Sickening.

 

Edwin: You're like one of those old cartoon characters that's so evil that if you see anything nice, you melt. Hmm. That's an idea....

 

Edwin reaches under the table and pulls out his whiteboard. He scribbles for a moment while Xero and Ash size each other up in the ring, and then turns it around to show Suicide King a drawing of a heart, inside which is the phrase "Suicide + Little Furry Animals 4 Ever." Suicide responds by piercing the whiteboard with a pen.

 

Edwin: Gee, Bri, I'm just trying to have a little fun here....

 

Ash and Xero lock up, and Ash hits Xero with a vertical suplex. Xero bounces back up, and they lock up again, this time with Xero gaining the advantage and hitting Ash with a snap suplex. The two combatants roll through and lock up once more, seesawing several times in the advantage position. Xero grabs Ash's left arm and starts to spin out to the side for a Fujiwara armbar, only to have Ash recounter it into a double underhook. He starts to lift Xero up for the Blastoise Backcracker, but Xero frees his arms and shifts his weight, coming all the way up and then rolling through to nail Ash with a hurricanrana! The capacity crowd pops as Xero hooks the leg, forgetting about the elimination-by-blood rule, and Ash kicks him over the top. Both wrestlers jump back to their feet and get into position, then in unison turn around to the crowd and start a round of applause for each other! The crowd pops loudly, forgetting about Durandal on the outside! Ash and Xero lock back up, Ash using his sizable weight advantage this time to whip Xero to the ropes. As Xero rebounds, he leaps into the air and nails Ketchum with a spinning heel kick, starting Ash teetering but not sending him to the mat. Xero gets to his feet and immediately bounces back into the air to nail Ketchum with a dropkick to the chest, this time sending the PokeFreak backwards into the ropes. Xero takes the opportunity to nail one more hard dropkick to the chest, and Ash goes flying over the top rope and falls to the concrete floor! Xero mounts the ropes and raises his arms in the air, and the fans explode with heat! Some fans cheer, some fans boo, and some just applaud the nonstop action!

 

Axis: What a match we have going on tonight! These three combatants are all doing their damnedest to win the SJL World Title, and the real winners are the fans!

 

Edwin: And whoever wins the SJL World Title!

 

Axis: Um... well... yeah, Edwin.

 

Edwin: I hope it's not Xero.

 

King: What's that? You're a zero? We knew.

 

Edwin: No, I'm not Xena, I'm Edwin. God, you come to ONE Halloween party in drag and they NEVER let you forget it.

 

Durandal enters the ring from behind and charges at Xero. He's in position for a running shotei, but Xero spins around to face him, and Durandal stops in his tracks, stunned. Xero walks toward Durandal making a motion suggesting "Don't EVER try to screw with me," but the Clan member simply raises an eyebrow and spins into a palm strike! Xero staggers backwards as Durandal throws a vicious dropkick to his knee. Xero falls to the mat as Durandal gets back to his feet and then drops a quick diving headbutt into his chest. Durandal reaches mounts Xero and attempts to start a flurry of palm strikes, but Xero catches his right arm and spins out, catching him with a Fujiwara armbar! Durandal tries to spin out to the front to counter it, but Xero cranks the hold even harder! Xero takes advantage of his captive audience by sitting out to the front and slapping on a crossface, then spinning behind to lock up a crossface chickenwing! Durandal, though, slides his head out of the crossface and comes out on top! He hooks both of Xero's arms in a double chickenwing and tries to lock the hold up, but Xero sits out and gets to his feet. Durandal tries to lift it up, but Xero sinks and keeps his feet on the mat. Durandal smirks slightly, then spins out, putting Xero into position for the Unprettier! He kicks his legs out, slamming Xero face-first into the mat, then slowly spins out. He starts a golf-clap for himself, but the fans simply respond by booing him as loud as they can. He grabs Xero's ears and lifts his head off the mat, smirking... but when he sees that Xero's nose isn't busted open, he wears a look of complete shock! He rolls Xero onto his back and drops a diving headbutt onto his face, but still, Xero doesn't bleed! Durandal stomps away, completely stunned that his opponent isn't bleeding.

 

Axis: Well, Durandal's certainly using an unusual strategy for this match. He seems to be concentrating on Xero's nose, which, I'll admit, is one of the best ways to bust someone open.

 

King: Of course it is. Ya know, Durandal may not use the moniker anymore, but he's still pretty damn superior.

 

Edwin: Yup, he's a posterior alright.

 

Durandal stalks around the ring looking frustrated, finally leaning on the turnbuckle in his corner. Behind him, Ash slides back into the ring, newly recovered after a pep talk from Misty. Xero crawls into the corner opposite Durandal and Ash ignores him, sneaking up behind the World Champion. Ash creeps up behind Durandal, then taps him on the shoulder. Out of instinct, Durandal spins around to see who was requesting his attention... and Ash locks him up in position for a uranage! Ash lifts him up off his feet and spins around so that he's facing the center, then slams Durandal to the mat with the PokeRap! The mat quakes with the slam, and Ash gets back to his feet only to yank his opponent back up. He lifts Durandal up and wrenches his arm, then swings him into position for a torture rack, looking for the Pikaslam! Durandal, though, has the presence of mind to slide out of the position and down to his feet behind Ash, then reaches around and crosses Ash's arms to go for the Straitjacket suplex! Out of desperation, Ash does the only thing he can- he somersaults forward, driving the unsuspecting World Champion onto his head! Durandal releases the straitjacket hold and flops forward onto his back.

 

Axis: Classic amateur-style Granby roll out of Ash Ketchum, and it looks like someone's found a counter for the Straitjacket suplex! Ash has plenty of amateur ability that never gets shown off, and in a last blood match, of all places, it shines through!

 

King: Yup, I'd say Ash spends PLENTY of time rolling around with high-school boys wearing spandex.

 

Edwin: Come now, I'd...

 

King: Hell no! You've made that offer WAY too many times, and I turn you down every time!

 

Edwin: Sheesh... someone gets one deputy commissionership...

 

King: AND an SWF World Championship...

 

Edwin: Oh, bite me. I'm full commissioner of the whole SJL.

 

King: I'm deputy of the SWF. That makes me better than you... as if I weren't already.

 

Axis: Oh, nobody cares, just watch the match.

 

In the ring, Xero gets back to his feet, and he squares off with Ash. The two lock up again, just as they had earlier, and the fans get excited, anticipating another technical battle. Instead, Xero nails Ash with a solid knee to the groin! Ash falls to the mat, and Xero swings around, applauding himself, only to be met with a chorus of boos!

 

Axis: What's this out of Xero?!

 

Edwin: He just hit Ash with the old Galatea Special! GAL-A-...

 

Axis: OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!! er... yeah, it's only a Galatea Special if Z does it, Edwin.

 

Edwin sighs, clearly disappointed. Meanwhile, Xero boots Ash in the head as Ash writhes on the ground trying to protect his two best friends. Xero yanks Ash to his feet and whips him to the ropes, then catches him on the way back with a spinning heel kick! On the outside, Durandal reaches under the ring and pulls out a table, then sets it up. Xero looks to the outside, then smirks and shouts, "ABSOLUTE XERO!!!!!" The crowd boos loudly as Xero lifts Ash up, then follows through into a DDT. Ash's skull slams into the mat with a THUD, and he flips over onto his back. Durandal grins and points to the table. With that, Xero rolls Ash's lifeless form out of the ring and onto the table. The Neglected Sword repositions the table so that Xero has a better angle, and then gets out of the way. Xero climbs to the top rope and, with fans booing him like crazy, leaps into the air and executes a shooting star press. He floats through the air, flipping gracefully, then falls with all 199 pounds stretched for maximum impact... but ASH ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Xero slams into the table, cracking it in half, and hits the concrete in a heap! Ash slowly gets to his feet and starts looking for Durandal. The World Champion has worked his way over to the timekeeper's table, and he grabs the ring bell.

 

Axis: Durandal has the ring bell!! What's he going to do?!

 

King: I'd say he's going to hit Ash with it. And do you know why I'd say that?

 

Axis: Why's that?

 

King: Because I'm not a drooling, Aussie idiot like you are.

 

Axis sighs as Durandal looks over to see the sweating, angry Ketchum staring him down. Stunned, he doesn't know what to do, and so he throws the ring bell at the PokeFreak and bails to the ring! Edwin mutters, "Hm... bailing to the INSIDE... that's a new one..." as Ketchum catches the bell and looks down, smiling. He positions the bell on the ground, then grabs Xero's lifeless body and lifts it up into position for a cradle tombstone. Ash leaps into the air and brings Xero down onto the ring bell with a vicious Mew Driver!!! The fans watch the move on the SmarkTron and burst into cheers upon impact! Ash rolls away, and Xero flops forward onto his stomach. Ash goes to do more damage, but Matthew Kivell pushes him away and rolls the Canadian combatant onto his back... revealing a bleeding gash on his forehead from the ring bell! Kivell looks confused for a moment, then shrugs and bangs the bell against the cornerpost.

 

 

THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!!!!!!

 

 

Funyon: XERO has been eliminated!

 

Axis: And so there were two! Xero's going to be carted back to the locker room, and Ash Ketchum and Durandal are going to finish the match!

 

King: Well thanks for clearing that up, Gizzard of Oz.

 

Axis: So who's going to go home with the belt, boys?

 

Edwin: ASH!

 

King: DURANDAL!

 

Axis: What a tossup! They've met twice in the past two weeks, splitting the series at 1-1! This is their rubber match! This is the tiebreaker! Oh my god, you could cut the tension with a knife!

 

Ash looks up into the ring and sees Durandal, who stares back down at Ash. Ash slowly climbs into the ring, eyes locked the whole time, and the crowd goes wild. Every fan in the place is on his feet, cheering, chanting, clapping. The crowd starts a loud "ASH! ASH! ASH!" chant, all except a small section of Goths in the cheap seats who try to drown it out with a chant of "SO SAYS THE CLAN! *clap clap clapclapclap*" Their eyes remain locked as Ash comes to the center of the ring, and Durandal looks up at Ash. The six-inch height advantage is evident, as is the 45-pound weight discrepancy. They spend a tense moment, until finally, Durandal breaks it by reaching up and slapping Ash across the face. The loud "SMACK!" echoes through the arena, and in the blink of an eye, the two are brawling.

 

Edwin: Come on, Ash! Get that title back! It'll be the second in a line of six reigns!

 

Axis: What an odd thing to say...

 

Edwin: I know... I don't know exactly where it came from, either.

 

Ash hits Durandal with a series of forearms that send the Clan member reeling. Ash follows that up with a palm strike and an uppercut that threaten to send Durandal over the top rope, but he holds onto the ropes and stays in the ring. Ash charges at Durandal, who lifts his leg up to plant a Yakuza kick right in Ash's face... but NO! Ash grabs Durandal's leg and pulls him out, sending him crashing to the mat on the back of his head! Ketchum pulls his opponent back to his feet and nails him with another solid forearm blow, but holds him up to keep him from collapsing. After stunning Durandal, the PokeFreak knees him in the stomach, doubling him over, and then bounces off the ropes. Ketchum nails Durandal with a jumping scissor kick to the back of the neck, sending the World Champion crashing to the mat!

 

Edwin: Air Ketchum Deux! That means Two!

 

Axis: Yes, Edwin, it does.

 

Edwin: In FRENCH! Grrr... I hate those damn French....

 

Ash yanks Durandal to his feet and goes for another Irish whip, but the Clan member isn't cooperative. He attempts to reverse the whip, but Ash ultimately succeeds due to his weight advantage. Durandal bounces off the ropes and sees Ash waiting for him in position for a powerslam, but opts for a quick and dirty dropkick to the knee instead. Ash gets thrown a bit off balance and Durandal takes advantage of the situation by whipping Ash to the ropes. Ash rebounds, only to be brought to the mat with a drop toehold. In one fluid motion, Durandal follows through with the move, first coming to his feet and then falling forward with a stepover toehold, then reaching around Ketchum's head to lock up the facelock and compete the STF! But... it's not exactly a standard facelock...

 

Axis: Oh my god! Look at that! How gruesome!

 

Edwin: Ech.... that's disgusting!

 

King: I LOVE this! Durandal knows it's time to put Ketchum away, and so he's just clawing at his face to try to scrape the skin away! THAT'LL start you bleeding right away!

 

Durandal continues clawing at Ketchum's face, a look of morbid concentration across his face, and trying to get hold of any piece of flesh that might flay from Ash's head and start a fountain of blood. He hooks two fingers into the nose of the Cerebral Prankster and practically tries to tear it from Ash's face! Ash screams in pain, being twisted by the STF and feeling his nose being torn from his face.

 

King: Oh, why doesn't Ash just tap?

 

Axis: It's a last blood match, King.

 

King: So what? If Ash doesn't want to continue, who's going to make him? Who'll make Ash keep wrestling until he bleeds?

 

Axis: Er... you make a good point.

 

King: I know. That's because I'm just that much better than you.

 

The assault on Ketchum's face continues, but unfortunately for the World Champion, not locking the hands makes it somewhat difficult to keep the STF on. Ash reaches up and, with all his strength, pulls Durandal's hands apart and breaks the grip. From there, it's not hard to kick out of the toehold, and as soon as he can, Ash rolls away holding his face. Durandal examines his hands for any signs of blood, hoping to find traces on his nails, but is unable to. The fans try to encourage Florida's native son by rallying behind him with a new "ASH! ASH!" chant, and Ash responds by coming to his feet and acknowledging his fan base while still trying to stop the burning pain in his face. Durandal, not pleased with Ash's attempted breather, chases his opponent into the corner and nails him with a dropkick to the knee, then sweeps under and executes a single-leg takedown to bring Ash back to the mat. Durandal goes for another STF, but Ash counters it as best he can by taking hold of Durandal's left arm and spinning out to lock up a hammerlock. Durandal, though, anticipates the hammerlock and gets to his feet, then whips Ash to the ropes to break the hold. As Ash bounds off the ropes, he catches his unsuspecting foe with a PokeBall Press, taking him to the mat and nailing him with a series of stiff mounted punches! Durandal gets his hands up to protect his face but can't stop the assault!

 

Axis: And Ash is opting to simply try to hammer the former Tom Flesher with punches until his skin bursts open... also a viable strategy!

 

King: Pfft. Wait and see.

 

Ash continues throwing mounted punches at the Clan representative, but Durandal blocks much of the impact with a solid guard. Ash tries to land the one decisive blow, but eventually Durandal manages to regain his senses enough to nail Ash with a low blow and then bridge him off, giving both wrestlers time to recover.

 

Axis: What a match from both of these athletes! Both men want that belt so badly! They're both fighting their hearts out! It's a shame they can't BOTH have it!

 

King: Well, Axis, that WOULD sort of defeat the purpose of having a single World Champion... but I guess you wouldn't understand the prestige of the World belt, having never held one. Just trust me on this one.

 

Axis: It's just a figure of speech...

 

Edwin: So is "Suicide King blows goats." Of course, that one happens to be true in the literal sense, too... bad example, I suppose.

 

As the two warriors get back to their feet, each man shows the scars of battle. Ash's face is clawed up from the STF but still refuses to bleed. Despite his short career, Durandal's forehead is so laced with scars that it looks like ground beef. Both men glisten with the sweat of a long, difficult battle.

 

Axis: Look at this. Their bodies are so battered that any normal man would have given up after half the assault these men have taken. That's what the SJL World Title means to these men. That's what they're fighting for!

 

Edwin: Come on, Ash! Just a little more, and you can bust him open! He's got to give it up any moment now!

 

As if he could hear Edwin's encouragement, Ash shakes his head powerfully from side to the side and looks back at Durandal, the fire in his eyes renewed. Durandal continues staring daggers at his foe, still violent, still sadistic. They lock up and wrestle back and forth. Ash throws a forearm, and Durandal responds with a stiff palm strike to the chest. Durandal drops to his knees to go for a single-leg takedown, but Ketchum steps to the side and clotheslines him to the mat. Durandal tries again, snagging Ash's leg and lifting it off the mat this time, but Ash responds with a picture-perfect frontflip enzuigiri! He nails Durandal in the face, sending him to the mat, but, sadly, without any blood! Ketchum looks despondently at Durandal's bloodless face and grabs him by the left arm. Ash wrenches the arm and attempts to lift him into a fireman's carry for the K-Cutter, but Durandal counters it by spinning behind Ash and locking his hands around his waist. Durandal, using every ounce of strength he has left, arches his back, and with a loud kiai, dumps Ash onto his head and neck in a desperate backdrop driver! Unsure what to do next, Durandal just stares at Ash as if it's a miracle that he's still breathing.

 

King: Backdrop driver! Ash could be dead!

 

Edwin: Oh, bite me. You've never given Ash Ketchum any credit, not even when he beat your boy Flesher for the SJL World Title ten days ago! Now if you don't start showing some respect, I'll sic Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing on you, you jackass!

 

King: Oooooooh, well then are you going to feed me to them live on HotPandaLuv.org?

 

Edwin: Pfft. Of course not. Only one thing goes on HotPandaLuv.org, and that's DEFINITELY not feeding time! ZING ZING!

 

Durandal gets back to his feet, then looks at Ketchum and screams out loud, screaming our of anguish and frustration, feeling like he'll never win. He rolls Ash to his back and picks up his feet, as if he was going for a Boston crab. Instead, Durandal falls backwards, starting a slingshot! Ketchum, though, arches his back out of instinct and stays firmly on the mat! He frees one of his legs and uses it to boot Durandal in the chest, sending him to the ropes and giving Ash a short time to recover. He gets back to his feet just in time to duck a Yakuza kick and lock up a PokeRap! Ash lifts Durandal into the air and tries to slam him to the mat, but Durandal swings his legs up and locks up a scissors grip around Ash's arm and neck!

 

Axis: TRIANGLE CHOKE BY DURANDAL!!!! Who would have thought?!

 

King: AHEM!

 

Axis: *sigh* Of those of you who COUNT, who would have thought?

 

King: That's bett- WAIT A SECOND!

 

Durandal tries to take Ketchum to the mat with the triangle choke, but Ash somehow finds the physical strength to stay standing! Forced to make the choice between carrying all 213 pounds of Durandal's weight and being choked out, Ash makes the only logical choice... he shifts his weight slightly, flexes his trapped arm, and drops to the mat, spiking his elbow straight into Durandal's stomach! The hold is released immediately, and Ash does his best to shake off as much cobweb as he can. After a moment's hesitation, Ash cracks his neck once more and looks out at his fans for strength and encouragement.

 

Axis: He knows it's now or never! Ash Ketchum knows he has to take Durandal out now, once and for all!

 

King: Or be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!

 

Ash lifts Durandal to his feet and swings him mightily into the air by the neck, then holds him there for a moment. He stalls, and stalls, and STALLS.... until he finally drops his opponent to the mat in a superlatively heroic chokeslam! The loud, hollow THUD echoes through the arena as the fans cheer Ketchum loudly! At Misty's prodding, they resume their chant of "ASH! ASH!" as he walks to the corner, exhausted. They cheer him on as he climbs slowly to the top rope and perches there, waiting for Durandal to get to his feet and stagger into position.

 

Edwin: WOOHOO!!!! Ash Ketchum, I CHOOSE YOU! POKEBALL, GO!!!!!!!!

 

King: Aren't you ashamed to exist the way you do, with the mind of a child trapped in the body of a twelve-year-old?

 

Edwin: I know you are, but what am I?

 

King: You're an idiot.

 

Edwin: Takes one to know one!

 

Durandal takes his time getting up and, once he DOES make it to his feet, initially stumbles away from Ketchum. Soon, though, he turns around and, in his exhausted, punch-drunk haze, staggers toward the corner where Ash perches like an Articuno. Ash moonsaults off the top rope and twists in mid-air, executing a perfect Phoenix! As if in slow motion, he floats toward Durandal and spreads his arms to catch him with the tornado DDT! Durandal wears a look of complete and utter horror, and with only a split second to react, does what his first instincts tell him to. He blows a mouthful of the Clan's trademark black mist into the air and sidesteps! The caustic mist hits Ash directly in the eyes and he falls to the mat, slamming hard into the canvas and trying to rub the irritant out of his eyes. Durandal throws his hands in the air, and the crowd begins booing him like there's no tomorrow!

 

Axis: Oh my god! What a son of a bitch! How can you do that?!

 

King: Hey, it's a blood match! It's perfectly legal!

 

Axis: Doesn't Durandal have any morals, any ethics? Doesn't he care what happens to his fellow man?!

 

King: All he cares about is the one thing that matters... at the end of the day, Durandal's going to have the SJL World Title, and he's going to get the big, fat bonus that comes with it.

 

Durandal stalks up behind Ash, who lays writhing on the mat, and drops a diving headbutt into his back. He then grabs Ketchum's arms, threading his own through into a double chicken wing, and yanks him to his feet. Durandal spins through, holding Ash in position for the Unprettier, and stalls to soak in the crowd's jeers. A moment later, he drops to the mat, slamming Ash's face into the canvas. Without even pausing to look for blood, Durandal spins around to lock up a front facelock and yanks Ash back to his feet. He lifts Ash into the air as high as he can and, not bothering to stall with a 260-pound victim, Durandal falls to the mat and slams Ash's head into the canvas with a brainbuster. Seeing Ash land on his back in the center of the ring, Durandal smiles sadistically and slaps Ash hard across the face. Then... he walks away.

 

Axis: What's Durandal doing?

 

King: Yeah, Flesher, what the hell ARE you doing?

 

Durandal kneels into his corner and unfurls his Clan robe. He stands up and puts it on, smirking, and then walks back to the center of the ring. Straddling Ash's body, Durandal falls to his knees.

 

Axis: My god, what an ego! He hasn't even won the match yet!

 

King: Oh, I'd say Durandal and that friend of his beg to differ.

 

Axis: Oh my....

 

In the ring, Durandal reaches into his robe and pulls out a steel icepick. Durandal looks at his hands, the robe, the icepick, and then Ash's face, still slippery and black from the Clan's evil mist. An honest, true smile spreads across his face as he positions the icepick on Ash's forehead and drags it slowly from left to right, tearing open the skin and making blood leak out all over Ash's face. The deed completed, he stands up and yanks Ash up by his hair. He stares silently at Matthew Kivell who, though horrified, somehow has the presence of mind to call for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Funyon: Your winner, and STILL SJL World Champion...... DURANDAL!!!!!!!

 

Axis: What a disgusting display by Durandal! What a sadistic bastard he is!

 

Edwin: Erg.... I think I'm going to be sick!

 

"Darkest Days" begins to play over the loudspeaker as Durandal lets Ash fall to the mat. Kivell hands him the belt. Durandal, already in his Clan robe, holds the belt aloft with one hand, the icepick with the other, and the fans begin to chant "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"

 

Edwin: Ugh... wasn't one reign enough?!

 

Axis: I... I don't know what to say. We'll be back on Metal.

 

As Durandal stands in the ring holding his tool and his reward...

 

Fade.

[Guest crusen86]

SINGLES MATCH, YO

Scott Reid vs. T-Bone

WINNER: Johnny Generic

 

TV TITLE MATCH

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson © vs. "The Franchise" Mak Francis

WINNER: Mak Francis by DQ - TNT keeps the title (Default)

 

FROST CLOBBERIFIED US MATCH

Sydney Sky vs. Insane Luchador

WINNER: ...

 

NO-DQ EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

"Deathwish" Danny Williams © vs. Frost

WINNER: Frost

 

TAG TEAM MATCH

The New Sound (Flexxx/Mafia) vs. X-Force Nine (Z/Ced Ordonez)

WINNER: The New Sound

 

"LAST BLOOD" MATCH FOR THE SJL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Durandal © vs. Xero vs. Ash Ketchum

WINNER: Durandal